Toronto Festival of Beers, Part One

Brew Ha Ha gets a shout-out from a couple,
happily socking back the suds at Keith's trailer

Well, if I dedicated two entire blogs to the inaugural Burlington Beer Festival last week, then simply based on its size, scope and beer selection, the Toronto Festival of Beer should get a 12-pack of blogs. Hell, make that a two-four.

The first thing that struck me was the all-inclusive nature of Ontario's largest annual beer festival - literally thousands of merry revellers jammed into the CNE's Bandshell Park on Saturday. The big mainstream breweries were rubbing shoulders with dozens of little craft outlets - not gonna name them all because there was something like 70 breweries on site, pouring (let's assume) well over 300 different beers. And the crowd? Normally, the beer festivals I have been to cater pretty directly to the craft-loving crowd. Not this. Oh, don't get me wrong - the bearded hipsters and craft-huggers were all there and accounted for. But so too were a plethora of "sun's out, guns out" frat boys in their tattered tank tops and scattered tattoos. And these two very disparate groups of beer drinkers mingled beautifully - matter met anti-matter head-on and there was no explosion in the TFOB Universe. Which is good because someone has to drink the Bud Light. And since this was my first TFOB, I was thrilled with the happy attitude, countless fun games, people of all ages (barely legals to some in their 70s), outstanding music and of course, beer, beer and more beer.

I'll be honest - this is the biggest game of Beer Pong I've
ever seen, using Smirnoff Ice barrels and volleyballs

Hell, even the Toronto Police were having a blast, happily posing with drinkers so their buddies could take fake arrest photos and chatting with anyone who approached them. I suspect dealing with a carousing, fun-loving TFOB crowd is much easier for them than managing the G7 Summit a few years back or, well, Mayor Rob Ford every single day of the week.

But despite the crowd (gonna guess around 12,000 to 13,000), there were only three line-ups I had to wait in all day and not one involved a brewery. The first line-up was simply to get in Gate A and I purposely showed up an hour after the opening bell at 1:30 pm, figuring the line-up would be gone. Wrong. No biggie - it actually went quickly. And one young lady was probably pretty happy that I was in line. Two young girls ran by us to catch up to their friends in the line-up and out of a purse popped an iPhone onto the ground. Grabbing it, I jogged after them to return it. Quickly realizing a jogging pace wasn't gonna cut it, I went full sprint, caught them, returned it... and promptly got applauded and high-fived by those in line. I hadn't even gotten into Bandstand Park and I already liked the crowd. My kinda people...

Curtis from Maclean's Ales not only remembered me
from last week's blog, praising their Pale Ale, he then
proceeded to pour the perfect glass of that very beer!

After getting frisked by Security (don't worry - I thanked her), the next largest line-up was for the beer token booth. You start with five chips (one chip a half-pour, two chips a full pour in your 8-ounce cups) so obviously you're gonna need more. Half-pour... yeah, right - it ain't Amateur Hour, kids. So I stood in the long line barely moving for 15 minutes before luck struck once again. A man and lady with a box of chips (cash only - 20 to a bag, $20 each) and if my feet were fast outside, you should have seen the speed my hands moved when I quickly slapped $40 in their hands and snatched 40 chips from them. Now granted, it's unlikely that I could drink 45 chips worth of beer and that's true - I found five chips left in my shorts this morning, meaning I drank about... you know what? Why sully this with needless Math?

And despite having countless porta-potties there, that too involved long lines. I found the trick early on was to get in line instantly when it felt like you might have relieve yourself in the near future. By the time you got into one, it was blasting out at fire-hose intensity.

"Whosoever holds this Steam Whistle hammer,
if he be worthy, shall posses the power of Thor"

But the brewery booths or trailers themselves? You were served within seconds. No waiting. Not at a single one. Well-staffed and very knowledgeable about their products, I was treated like both an old and new friend at a few. The first booth I quickly tracked down was the boys from Oshawa's Underdog Brewing with their outstanding All or Nothing Hopfenweisse. I met them just last week in Burlington, heaped praise on their fine beer in a recent blog and trust me, it was remembered. "Don, you're here! That's great," beamed Eric as we chatted about Beer Musketeer Glenn's attempts to find their product in The Shwa. Soon, Glenn, as Eric told me the finishing touches on their brewery should be done by late Autumn. At the moment, they're just kegging the beer for restaurant use so cans/bottles of it are a while away. I got pretty much the same you're-family-to-us reaction when I visited Hanover's Maclean's Ales and Curtis saw me proudly sporting the Maclean's Ale t-shirt they gave me last week after they inadvertently doused it with beer. At that time, I slung it over my shoulder and thanks to an outpouring of rain, it stuck there all day long. I did, however, wash it out of courtesy for anyone near me at the TFOB. On a less-courteous note, I did notice on the Rule Board entering the park that "No public urination will be allowed", adding they would eject anyone caught doing so. Great, I bring one single strength to the table and it's snatched away from me.

The Toronto Festival of Beers is just the second festival
this fine brewery has done, the first being Burlington's

And, of course, I was greeted warmly by my homies at Burlington's Nickel Brook Brewing. Matty vigorously shook my hand before slapping a Naughty Neighbour American Pale Ale label sticker on my shirt. (At last week's Burlington fest, he gave us 8-ounce Nickel Brook cups so we wouldn't have to wander around with the cheesy little 4-ouncers we were handed at the door.)

I'll delve more into the spirit of the TFOB tomorrow - now is the time on Sprockets when we dance... uh, I mean, talk about beer. Spearhead, which contract-brews out of Etobicoke's Cool Brewing, has always had a fan in me for their Hawaiian Style Pale Ale. Admittedly, I'm far less a fan of their Moroccan Brown Ale. So when I tried their India White Ale, where did it fall? Somewhere between, though a tad closer to the former. You do get some banana and wheat on the nose, light spice and wheat on the tongue. Pretty decent, though not outstanding.

Yup, he calls them his festival "beer goggles"...

The Niagara College Teaching Brewery was on hand and I commend those noble students for their First Draft Brewmaster White. Banana and citrus on the nose, light and wheaty on the tongue. Nice job, you unruly students.

I would suggest Oakville's Cameron's Brewery has another winner with their brand new Pistols at Dawn Red Ale. Pouring ruby red (I am actually colourblind - red/green deficiency - so if you see something else in its colour, please know that you're right), this is tropical fruit and cherry on the nose, caramel and hoppy on the tongue. These guys are pouring liquid gold these days.

I knew I would come across at least one clunker at the TFOB and I strongly suspected it would be the Kensington Brewing Watermelon Wheat, contract brewed by Wellington in Guelph. The 31 on RateBeer would suggest that, as well. But I actually liked it! The watermelon, while perhaps a silly addition... though unique could also be argued, isn't overpowering on either the nose or the tongue where a smooth wheat also came out. Thought I'd hate it, pleasantly surprised I quite liked it.

Our good friends at Samuel Adams Lager were,
of course, Canadians manning the American booth

Okay, lessee, one more before I return tomorrow with TFOB, Part 2. Well, let's just stick with Kensington Brewing and their Baldwin Fish EYE-P-A. Honestly, not much on the aroma besides malts which doesn't bode well for an IPA. On the tongue, it was slightly hoppier than it smelled but only marginally so. Not particularly flavourful and lightly bitter (and not good bitter) after-taste... Nope, not for me. My standards for IPAs are pretty stringent as they get more thought put into them than, say, gifts for whomever I'm dating. (When one actually shrieks, "It's perfect!", I feel like I've beat the buzzer on Jeopardy!)

That said, I did have a couple outstanding IPAs that I'll delve into tomorrow, many, many, many more beers of all styles, much more on the comradery we all shared at the festival, why writing in a notebook got me all sorts of attention - some of it hilarious, how a pretty young girl had to explain to the ladies at the Shocktop booth why their beer wasn't considered a craft beer, some outstanding music by Canadian rockers, The Trews, whether or not I tried my first gluten-free beer, fest-time texts to the Beer Musketeers and a toast to the organizers.

See you all tomorrow because guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! Until tomorrow, I remain...