Once upon a time... in Kenora...

This is how you know you're coming into Kenora.
A big four-post sign that informs you of such. So
there you go. And yes, it also tells you that you are
in the Lake of the Woods region! There's like a
kazillion lakes up there and from what I was told
during my short stay, the fishing was damn good.

A long time ago... in a galaxy far far away... Oh, wait, Legal Department is telling me that's a movie intro. Star... something. Lemme try again.

Once upon a time in a town far far away, (*looks around* "We good? Okay, then...") I started a long and illustrious (that word is being loosely and repeatedly used here) Journalism career in a place called Kenora. It's a small town in the north-west corner of Ontario, which was about as close to Manitoba as you could be in Ontario without saying, "Okay, I guess technically, I live in Manitoba."

It was the mid-1980s. The hair was big and the music was bad. I could take the hair - well, at least much better than the Ozone Layer did - but oh man, no one could touch that gawd-awful techno-pop. In 50 years, students will be looking back and asking, "This Norwegian group, a-ha? Was their music intentionally played in prisons or detention centres to demoralize the inmates?" The problem was that crappy music got played repeatedly on MTV, which stands for Music Television but they stopped doing the music part years ago. As a rocker, some bands held me steady through those turbulent times, such as Motley Crue, Van Halen and Def Leppard but they were the minority. It was all skinny-ass guys playing keyboards in shiny yellow pants with hair that stood straight up for about two feet.

This, my friends, is Husky the Muskie (a type of
fish though I'm not sure why I feel the need to
explain that.) It's a statue that's about 30 feet high
right at the waterfront and it was absolutely my
favourite part of Kenora. A gigantic fish homage.

But back to my illustrious Journalism career. When I got hired by the Kenora Daily Miner and News, it was my first paying full-time gig out of college. It was a daily newspaper (not sure if it still is) which is what all journalism graduates hoped for at the time. No, it wasn't the Toronto Star or the Globe and Mail but, you know, you gotta start somewhere.

There was no Internet back then so I had to look up on a map where Kenora was located. Whoa... north. Like way north. Pretty much the same latitude as Winnipeg, Manitoba, where both my parents were born and raised. I had heard their Winter horror stories many many times. But my late father assured me before I left that "It's not that bad. It's a dry cold, not a wet cold. It's a lot easier to take." Okay, not to speak ill of the dead, but that was a humongous crock of shit right there. It got so cold that I was wondering if hordes of penguins would be showing up soon. And yes, I realize that penguins are indigenous to the Antarctic on the southern-most end of the planet but you know, in case they got uncomfortable with the unbearable warmth of the Antarctic, they could wander up to the frozen tundra of Kenora. My mother, oddly, never spoke to me about the temperatures up there. She knew what I was in for come Winter-time and she wasn't about to soft-sell me on it.

When we were discussing the Northern Brewing
Alliance Mix-Six and the subject of the Lake of the
Woods' Forgotten Lake Blueberry Ale surfaced on
Twitter, brewery owner, Taras Manzie, shown here in
a cbc.ca photo, was quick to jump in and explain the
brewing process for his beer. He was really great.

But I landed there in June, just after Journalism School graduation and at that point, it was a beautiful Small Town, Ontario. Packed with people because it's cottage country, it was - and probably still is - a very vibrant small community. I settled in very quickly. In retrospect, I now realize my attitude shifted with the weather. The colder it got, the more *ugh* I became. Being from the far more southern GTA area, I just wasn't used to a downward shift in temperature going quite that far downward. I've never seen mercury actually disappear in a thermometer before.

However, after a couple of months there, I had familiar company - my Beer Bro Glenn. My newspaper was looking to hire another reporter. Glenn hadn't found anything yet after graduation so I suggested him. Management still trusted me at that point - further proof that management is seldom, if ever, right - so on my word and the strength of his phone interview, Glenn got hired.

So he and I had all sorts of beer-induced blasts - of which I remember precious little - and because we were both getting paid jack-squat (a legitimate form of currency back then), we shared a decent two-bedroom apartment and likely survived off Kraft Dinner.

The Lake of the Wood Brewing Company set up shop in the town's old
firehall back in 2013. The big windows are where the firetruck doors
used to open. I tell you this - Glenn and I would have loved to see this
town attraction back in the day. Granted, not many micros back then.

Which one of us was the bigger slob (totally him) is still the subject of much debate (again, him) but man, we did have some fun up there. Again, as far as I remember.

But as the weather turned, hitting minus-40 some December days (I won't bother saying Fahrenheit or Celsius because minus-40 is where they meet), my enthusiasm waned and I started looking longingly towards the highway heading south. But not Glenn. He really liked it up there regardless of temperature. I lasted from June to December and was gone. He lasted, I think, four or five years. Even when he eventually returned, he raved about the fishing and other manly-men activities up there. He once killed a bear with his bare hands. Sorry, typo. A beer with his bare hands. Less impressive. Still, Kenora had turned a Toronto city boy into a proper northern outdoor sportsman.

I have never been a big fruit beer fan. In fact, I finally
added Fruit Beer as a category in my annual year-end
"Best Of" lists last year because I finally had one I liked.
But this was a damn good fruit beer. The blueberry is
there but nicely understated and at 7.1%, it has balls.

I landed another newspaper job in Toronto shortly upon my return so I likely did the right thing for my illustrious journalism career, anyway. But it's funny how a little time can change your perspective. For example:

Me actually in Kenora: "Good gawd, it is so frikkin' cold here! My face hurts when I'm outside. It's too cold to breathe. This is both awful and insane!!"

Me a few years after Kenora: "Oh man, it was SO cool. It went down as low as minus-40 and you had to plug in your cars! Snow everywhere! Just beautiful country!"

But after three decades away, Kenora resurfaced in my life recently, thanks to the Northern Brewers Alliance Mix-Sixer that was the subject of my last column. Their Forgotten Lake Blueberry Ale was part of that six-pack and I left it until now to fully expand upon my personal Kenora connection. All six months of it. The same length of time as most of my relationships. I'm not a love-em-and-leave-em kind of guy. Sometimes, I love 'em and they leave me. It's a coin-toss.

The Forgotten Lake Blueberry Ale is actually the third
Lake of the Woods beer I've enjoyed. This was the second,
their Big Timber IPA. Is it, in fact, bigger than the great
outdoors and able to fell a tree with one mighty swing?

Now last column, I noted that Charles from Nickel Brook and I were discussing that Blueberry Ale before we had it because he thought he may have tried it the year before. Not even five minutes into our Twitter conversation, their Twitter person was on there, explaining how the beer as brewed.

I was duly impressed so I DMed Lake of the Woods to see who was keeping such watchful vigil over their social media account and brewery products. He got back to me quickly, introducing himself as Taras and offering up both his company email and personal cell number. "Wow," I thought, "This kid is good! Lake of the Woods is lucky to have him."

Unless I Googled them and realized that "Taras" was actually Taras Manzie, the frikkin' owner of the brewery! Colour me doubly-impressed!! We chatted behind-the-scenes about Kenora as he brought me up to speed on the town but I'll get to that after their beers because, technically, that's what this blog is supposed to be about... though as you can see, it seldom starts that way.

The very first Lake of the Wood beer I had was
their Sultana Gold Blonde Ale, which was, in
fact, typical of the style. Mild, mellow, a good
crossover brew for macro drinkers. Very clean!

And let's start with that Blueberry Ale that drew Taras into our Twitter conversation so quickly. A fruit beer is a tricky thing to pull off. Go too strong on the fruit and it may as well be a Five-Alive. Go too subtly and what's the point? Well, as Goldilocks famously said, the Forgotten Lake Blueberry Ale was "just right." At 7.1%, this was the strongest-ABV beer of the Northern Brewers Alliance Mix-Sixer and the blueberry was nuanced enough that you knew it was there but that wasn't all you noticed. The fruit just played some nice rhythm guitar to the ale's lead guitar (it always comes back to music), which was, as odd as it sounds, beautifully carbonated. It really popped on my tongue. While Nickel Brook put out some awesome fruit-laden Berliner Weisses this Summer, as far as straight fruit ales go? Best I've had this year. Hands down. So frankly, hats off to their brewmaster Bernie Weiland for this one... if, in fact, he is their actual brewmaster and his name is actually Bernie. Brewmasters can be a mysterious and shifty bunch. Many are actively involved within the Witness Relocation Plan. True story. (No, it's not. Only some are.)

UPDATED CUTLINE: Through his wizardry of all things
Google, New Zealand's Stevil St Evil was able to track
down this young lady's name. She is Melissa Blind and
she was pouring Lake of the Woods Brewing samples at
the Northern Ontario Microbrew Festival, held back in
the Spring in Sudbury. The photo was found on the
sudbury.com website. So good digging by Stevil there.

That brings us to their Big Timber IPA. At 6%, I'm thinking the IBUs (international bitterness units) on this baby might be on the low end (55 to 60, maybe). It's got that caramel maltiness on the back end that you can't ignore. That said, I've always got time for a British-west coast hybrid and that's what this is. On the nose, some very strong orange but it's a heartier, maltier IPA... which is what you want in the north. The hops don't pop like a west coast but they are certainly there and there is some pine in the mix. Very nice. I liked it.

That brings us to their Sultana Gold Blonde Ale, which I had at a Rib Eye Jack's Ale House Beer Festival two years ago. Another brewery brought it and it was either Big Rock out of Calgary-Etobicoke or Big Rig Brewery out of Ottawa. Or maybe even someone else. Memory retention is not my forte. But folks - and it's important you know this - I don't drink to forget. I drink to enjoy. I just never remember anything. Okay, that actually wasn't important for you to know. Never mind.

Okay, I did the Math on this one. It's gonna take 114
beers at $7 to pay for this $800 sign. But that's not
including daily overhead. So more like 1,114 beers.
Also, where exactly is the green guy on the bottom
left running to? The john? A dine-and-dasher, maybe?

I'd shut up now but I'm kind of the only one in this room. Okay, the Sultana was a nice blonde ale. At 5%, it was mild, it was clean, it was refreshing. Good for its style but it's not a style I delve into all that much. (That said, neither are fruit ales and that Forgotten Ale floored me.)

Okay, done with beers. Back to Kenora because I know Glenn wants to know too. According to Taras, the Daily Miner and News is still around but perhaps "slowing dying, I think, like most printed news publications." No one and certainly not former journalists want to see that but to deny it would be foolhardy at best. But Taras, Glenn and I all have our fingers crossed for this particular publication.

But Taras, what's shaking in Kenora these days? "(It's) still very much a blue collar town in transition. Many businesses are doing what they can to support the push to a tourism-centric economic model."

Sweet. So how is a craft brewery faring up there? Wellllll... "It's very difficult getting the local population to embrace the craft beer movement, especially getting local bars and restaurants to carry our products."

Look way up to the top left of the map if you wanna
know where Kenora is. Like I said at the beginning, it's
as close to Manitoba without actually being in that
province. And baby, in the Winter, it's cold outside!

Well, that's exactly where north and south meet, isn't it? The macros still own the tap selection in most bars down here and micros have to slug it out hard for a single tap. But that's where it's frustrating for Taras because Lakes of the Woods has hired some 140 local youth to work in their brewery over the years. Maybe those kids' parents might just want to check it out?? If for nothing else than to embarrass your kid? Just throwing it out there. Support your local business and all. I'm not an Economics Major but I hear that actually works.

However (and this doesn't surprise me at all), the brewery is getting some amazing support from other northern towns such as Fort Frances, Thunder Bay, Red Lake and especially Manitoba residents. Says Taras: "The Lake of the Woods (cottage country) is like the northern Muskokas for Manitoba residents."

So my request of Kenora residents, my former neighbours (albeit briefly), is simply this.  Please embrace your local craft brewery!! It's a privilege to have one... not a right. Oh and if you like your Molson Canadian, Blue or Budweiser, try the Sultana Gold Blonde Ale! You might find a little something extra in the glass that you quite like. Also, never forget my illustrious journalism career. It's important for mankind to remember that. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...