Chris and Alicia are Hopping Happily

 

Okay, so that's Chris on the left, the guy behind the Hop Happy beer blog and
also well-known as @gamblinmcgoo to our many Vegas friends. So you might
look at this photo and think, "Awww, what a good man, taking in a homeless
fellow like that guy on the right and getting him that beer." But no, that's me.
Chris, his wife, Alicia and I all got together at Clifford Brewing back in late
September to enjoy some beverages on a beautiful Autumn day. Cheers to us!

Way back in 1995, there was a classic episode of the TV show, Seinfeld. In it, George finds himself in a relationship, which is all well and good. Except his new girlfriend wants to meet his friends.

This vexes George, who believes there are two versions of himself - Independent George, which he is with Jerry, Elaine and Kramer, and Relationship George, which he is with his girlfriend. In essence, he does not want the two worlds to collide because he believes the second he walks through Jerry's door with his new lady, it's like matter meeting antimatter. Everything collapses. Black hole. As he exclaims with no small amount of anguish: "A George, divided against itself, cannot stand!" 

It was, to be certain, a silly premise as most of us, while slightly better behaved in new relationships, are pretty much the same either way. But this TV show carved out nearly a decade of hilarity based on nothing but ridiculous premises.

When I met Alicia and Chris, aka @gamblinmcgoo, the Vegas lover but also
@hophappyblog, the craft beer lover, at Clifford Brewing towards the end
of September, I learned that Alicia takes the great majority of the photos
for the blog. That's impressive because the photos are fantastic. She has a
very keen eye at setting up both environment shots, the brewery itself and
the little quirks many would miss, as well as the beer shots. Quite talented.

So taking this George theory where there's more than one version of yourself and extending it to myself on Twitter, let's see where this lands.

I mean, there's Beer Donny. That's a pretty huge circle right there. Hundreds, I would say, when I take in everyone I follow or who follows me based on beer alone.

Then there's Vegas Donny and I really enjoy that Donny because, boy howdy, he sure loves it there. And that circle, though it started small, is humongous now.

Now the line between the different Donnys on Twitter is bleeding these days. My Vegas Twitter and Beer Twitter are all over each other's posts and unlike George, I think it's cool. Meeting of the minds... yadda, yadda, yadda. 

These two are a lot of fun and between them, they have created
what I consider the one of the best beer blogs out there. With
Alicia's skills behind the camera and Chris' ways with words,
Hop Happy Beer Blog has become a must-read for me. It's fun,
it's lively, it's informative and best of all, they explore Ontario
breweries that we really don't know until the pair land there.

Smokey Jon Kelly, master of the BBQ over there in Ireland, loves his craft beer, Vegas and, well, BBQ. My Beer Twitter peeps are all over Jon when he's posting food pics. Hell, I think Homebrewer Graeme wants to fly over, set up a tent in Jon's backyard and live there for a while, just to eat the food that Jon posts.

And then there's Chris. Now Chris is the subject of this little outing but because my preambles are ridiculously long (y'all still awake?), photos of him with his wife, the photographically-skilled as well as photogenic Alicia, have been used three times here without actual mention in this text of who he is.

Okay, then, who is Chris? Well, when I first got to know him on Twitter, he was McGoo (@gamblinmcgoo), a Vegas lover. I knew he was from the London area and that he flies down there four or five times a year, much like me. While I have become a huge fan of Downtown Vegas recently, Chris, a serious gambler, prefers to spend his time on the famed Strip.

This what what I mean about Alicia's photography skills. About
mid-October, Chris decided the change in the weather meant it
was time to switch to Porters and Stouts. So Alicia set up this
photo to illustrate that. This is some Creative AF photography!

So whenever I was in Vegas and I was tagging photos, my man, McGoo, was one of the tagged. Tagging someone in a travel photo is quite literally saying, "Look where I am! Cool, eh?" Fellow Vegas fans can relate.

Eventually, I noticed Chris paying extra attention to my "Beer in Vegas" photos. As it turned out, some time earlier, Chris had abandoned the Macro Train after his first visit to Triple 7 Microbrewery-Restaurant at Main Street Station Resort-Casino. As memory serves, it was there that he first tried their Black Chip Porter and... *bam* Bud was removed his tasting table forever.

Now I first went to Triple 7 last September on the word of my friends, Mike and Laura, better known as @hogand2cent on Twitter. As I walked closer to the place, I noticed a billboard promoting the award-winning microbrewery. They were about to meet an award-winning drinker, I thought to myself.

This is Chris on the Vegas Strip way back in 2012, performing
what is know as The Beer Fountain! It's a fast, efficient way of
demolishing a sixer of macro. If you tried this with an IPA or
Stout, you would die. In 2012, I was drinking the macros, too.

For the record, my beverages of choice at Triple-7 were their Carlsbad IPA and their High Roller Gold Blonde Ale. While not a typical choice of mine due to its mildness, I chose the Blonde Ale because I believe if you can pull off a Blonde Ale, Pilsner or Lager, you are a good brewery. There is no hiding flaws behind hops or dark malts. Gotta be bang-on. Both were perfectly on point style-wise.

So this past Summer when Chris said on Twitter that he wanted to try his hand at a beer blog, he got an enthusiastic response from me. My rationale has always been the more eyes out there in the Ontario Craft Beer world, the better it is for us all. This is how we learn.

What I wasn't perhaps anticipating was how quickly and cleverly his endeavour would be set up. First of all, he branded himself - hophappyblog.com - creating his own web domain. 

Even in something as simple as a sampler photo, Alicia has
a knack of adding real texture and depth. I mean, I take
beer photos all the time and trust me, none of them look
like this. Not sure what kind of camera her phone has but
lemme tell you, it's serving her well. This lady has a knack.

That's smart. I never really tried to brand myself and I probably should have. It turns out being lazy as hell and simply floating though life is actually a negative. Who knew? To most, I am simply Donny, That Dude Who Likes Beer. That's lax branding at best. Meh.

But secondly and more importantly, it's the way he writes his blogs. One brewery at a time. Clever, funny preamble each time. Some great background on the brewery follows that. Personal interaction with the staff or quirky details about the brewery is up next. And finally, he reviews ALL the beers that brewery has on tap the day he and Alicia land there.

When he, Alicia and I all met at Clifford Brewing in Stoney Creek back in late-September, he was taking notes on everything he drank. I rely on my memory. Show of hands - which method do you suppose is more accurate? I mean, I'm not saying that my memory sucks gigantic donkey butt but that's mostly because donkeys are a noble and respected beast of burden.

I have no idea where this is but I will say this. Whatever brewery is doing eight
ounce flight glasses, five per flight, I wanna go there! However, I do know this
is a few years ago, for sure. Young Chris is looking pretty happy here for sure!

So back in mid-August, Chris dropped his first blog. He started with the "This is why I wanna write a beer blog" intro. You kinda have to do that one.

His second one was on London's very well- known Anderson Craft Ales, a place we all applaud these days due to "Man, they're awesome and don't make a bad beer" reasons.

But after that, it was the smaller breweries. The lesser-known to most of us. And that's when things really took off for me as a reader.

Chris and Alicia invited two craft-loving neighbours over to
their house for the Great Pumpkin Beer Challenge just
before Halloween, pitting these six beers against each other
in an Ale-Off. Which won? Well, you'll just have to read it.

They have since stopped in at Steel Wheel Brewing in Brant, London Brewing in London, Stonepicker Brewing in Plympton-Wyoming, Fixed Gear Brewing in Guelph, Charlotteville Brewing in Simcoe and New Limberg Brewing, also in Simcoe.

With the possible exception of Fixed Gear, these are not well-known Ontario breweries. But each of them has their own unique, often fun or revealing story-behind-their-story. And Chris and Alicia are there to document it.

Born in old farms, old country estates and even in the case of New Limburg, an old elementary school, these are breweries that are substantially different than the ones we are used to in the GTA or other urban areas. No shortage of character, that's for sure.

So if you're not doing so, read Hop Happy which you can find here: Chris And Alicia Love Beer! You'll thank me later. But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

One person can make a difference

 

That is my handsome son, David, between these two smiling faces at Cowbell
Brewing in the tiny town of Blyth, Ontario. David and his Mom were in the
neighbourhood back in August, David spotted the brewery and told his Mom
they had to stop so he could buy Daddy some beer. They also ate there and I
will say his Mom told me the food was really great. That's where this starts.

This is the story of a young boy and a full-grown woman.

They have never met. Indeed, their paths have never once crossed but to me, they are now connected. Neither of them would know how. But that's why I'm here. I'm the narrator of this fanciful tale.

So this is the story of a boy named David Redmond and a woman named Ren Navarro. Oh, and also a very popular Ontario establishment and tourist attraction called Cowbell Brewing.

This beer, Black Is Beautiful, a collaboration effort between Grain & Grit Small
Batch Beers in Hamilton and Ren Navarro, was a tricky one to explain to David.
The best I could do is tell him that many people are not treated fairly by others
and that he and I should always want everyone to be treated exactly the same. 

So, one day this past August, David's Mom texted me to say that they had stopped into a brewery and that my boy had bought me some beer. Obviously, I was pumped. That's a pretty big father-son moment right there.

When she sent the picture up top, well, my heart sank a little. They had gone to Cowbell. Ouch.

There's little point in beating around the bush on this one because the story is well-known in Ontario craft beer circles. Long story short, early in the Summer, a couple went to the brewery. He's black, she's white. Not particularly note-worthy to most of us. I would hope.

Now this is a picturesque looking brewery. And in fact, after his first trip there,
Drunk Polkaroo wrote, "Pictures do not do justice to this cathedral of beer."
But the brewery that was doing absolutely everything right slipped this year.

When they got to the front of the line, the hostess told them the dining room was fully booked but they were welcome to sit on the outdoor patio. Seems fair enough. Except the wife notices more and more couples being let into the dining room. Her Spider-Sense was tingling. So she walks up solo, sans hubby, to see if she can get an indoor seat. Yes, she can immediately, says the hostess. Now none of us can claim to know what was actually going on in that young lady's head. But let's face it - the optics were not good. Dreadful, actually.

While he and his Mom forgot to pack this four-pack
of Cowbell Brewing beverages that David bought for
me in his August visit, it was remembered for his
September stay-with-Dad. And it was consumed!

When the lady posted the story on Facebook, it did not take long to make the social media rounds. Same-day service, if you will. And believe me, we all noticed. In fact, most of us noticed furiously.

Before long, Cowbell also noticed and quickly issued an apology that was sadly lacking in one regard. The apology itself. That further infuriated people. However, I was somewhat heartened to read that they were planning to reach out to Ren, Ontario's reigning Beer Diversity Monarch, (a hail and hearty "Long live the Queen!") to come to the brewery and do that thing she does so well. And that is, "plain-splain" why the Ontario Craft Beer industry needs to be to be more inclusive towards the BIPOC and LGBTQ2 communities. As a member of both, Ren is uniquely equipped to calmly, rationally and even happily explain its importance to people, even those as dense as myself. (Seriously. Never bother to ask me what day it is. Just assume I don't know. Because I don't.)

But let's step away from Ren for just a moment (a brief moment, a mere second in time) and get back to David because while I believe both have hearts of gold, the reality is I have only known one for 29 years. 

I am not sure who took this photo of our Beer Diversity
Queen Ren but, whoa, that is one million dollar smile! 

Back when I got the Cowbell picture with my boy, I honestly thought, "What do I do? I don't want to be insensitive to all this but, man, it's David! This means the world to me."

So I threw the old "rock and a hard place - what do I do here, folks?" out there to the Twitterverse. The answers came quickly. Boston Adam from Fergus noted, "It's the thought that counts. Enjoy the beers" which was pretty much echoed by Greg, who said, "Don't say a word. This is definitely a case of 'It's the thought that counts'." Danny up there in Sudbury chipped in, "I think the good outweighs the bad in this case." Drunk Polkaroo offered up, "Honest gestures of love are far more important than a dumb PR response."

But it was Paulie G who got me all verklempt with his touching thoughts. "Don, we all know you are a despicable person. This doesn't really change anything. Carry on." I tell you, that Paulie G guy could make a statue weep. The old softie.

Graeme screen-captured this image of Cowbell's
diversity training with Ren. According to the
brewery itself, it is just "Phase One" of ongoing
training. Some questioned the singular use of
just posting on Instagram but Ren stepped in to
say that was her suggestion. I get that. If you
throw it on every social media platform, then it
all seems very force-fed, doesn't it? Clever lady.

So having been given what I suspect is the "David Hall Pass," (whereby if David is involved, it's all good) I went ahead and drank those beers. Somewhat guilt-free, I should add. Again, it was a gift that meant a lot to me. Also among the four was their Doc Perdue's Bobcat West Coast Red Ale, a huge favourite of both Danny and myself.

And I continued to watch the situation up there in Blyth as Ren came into the town, floating on an umbrella, much like Mary Poppins. *Checks notes* Never mind. She drove there. Turns out there are no bullet trains non-stop between Blyth and Kitchener. (If GO Transit could get on that, that'd be great.)

I mean, I knew she was up there doing her thing but wondered how it was going. On October 15, I got my answer. On their Twitter feed, Cowbell released a video with Ren narrating. After establishing shots of the brewery itself, Ren came onscreen and told us all this. "I'm Ren Navarro. I run a company called Beer Diversity. Yeah, I talk about beer. Yeah, I talk about diversity. But I also talk about inclusion and why craft beer is such a great liquid. How we all love it and how it's accessible for all of us. Working with Cowbell the last few months, I'm learning a lot from them and they're learning a lot from me because it's all about conversations. Opening it up and having safe spaces where we can try and make some change. So when you're sitting at the craft beer family table, don't ask someone to leave. Just shove over a little bit. Make a little more room and share your favourite beverage. Cheers."

When Ren was called upon by Cowbell to head up and help out,
she quipped to Hamilton artist-cartoonist David Buist that she
needed some kind of Bat Signal, designed specifically for her.
Within the hour, David responded, posting this beauty, which
totally nails it. Like Ren herself, David never lets us down.

That was enough for me. However, I hasten to add it was not for others. I see posts from folks not willing to Cowbell it up just yet. Which is perfectly fair.

But I was hoping for a better ending and I think I got it. They're back on my Spendy-Spend List. You see, Cowbell's strength has always been in its sense of community. Since its inception back in 2017, the brewery has donated five cents a can of their flagship beer, Absent Landlord Country Kolsch, to four children's hospital in Ontario. David spent the first week of his life in an incubator at Toronto's Sick Kids Hospital so when Cowbell hit $500,000 in hospital donations last week, well, that was a pretty big deal to me. 

Yeah, they slipped. But Ren reached down, grabbed their hand and pulled them back up onto their feet. So why is that enough for me? Because it's Ren. She will always be enough. But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

That $500 Price is Right win in Vegas

Neither Joanne nor I could remember who the
host was when we attended a shooting of The
Price Is Right Live at Bally's way back in July
2007 but after looking at the pictures of all the
countless hosts that have done it, I'm 99% sure
it's this guy - Todd Newton. Something about
him is ringing a bell. Turns out Todd was a real
contender for the TV show when Bob Barker
packed it in. Drew Carey was the eventual host.

According to Beer Bro Glenn, I have never told him the story about how I won $500 on my first trip to Las Vegas way back in July 2007. And the fact is if Glenn, who I've known for 40 years, does not know the story, then likely very few do.

Okay, some back story. From September 2002 to February 2008, there was this TV show called Las Vegas. It starred James Caan (as Big Ed Deline) and Josh Duhamel (as Danny McCoy, Big Ed's right-hand man.) The series revolved around the fictional Montecito Resort and Casino in Vegas. (To this day, Vegas cabbies still report drunken passengers demanding to be taken to the Montecito.)

The show was very flashy, filled with beautiful women and handsome dudes, surrounded by all the bells, whistles, noises, neon and glitz of an actual Vegas casino. Copious amounts of young ladies in bikinis around resort pools, tons of cheating gamblers with sophisticated trickery, the odd peak into the mobster background of the city's creation and, oh yeah, the occasional car chase when deemed necessary to the plot... mostly because Danny owned a sick-ass yellow 1968 Chevy Camaro in mint condition.

It was just a TV show but man, it was a helluva introduction to Las Vegas. The guest stars were a who's-who of back-then or still-now Vegas entertainers - Criss Angel, Paul Anka, Robert Goulet, Wayne Newton, Tony Orlando, Donny Osmond, and, of course, Penn & Teller.

I absolutely loved this TV show, which further sparked a
very real desire to visit Las Vegas. I finally got my wish
in July 2007 when I and then-girlfriend, Joanne, landed
at The Imperial Palace, probably the rowdiest joint on
the strip. The Imperial is gone now... but not forgotten.

So at the time, July 2007, my then-girlfriend Joanne said, yeah, she was down for a Vegas trip and off we flew. We were booked into the now-long-gone and fondly remembered (by me and a healthy handful of others) Imperial Palace (now The LINQ), the rowdiest place on the strip back in those days.

And I loved it!! All of the lights and neon, all of the excessive volume, all of the hooting gamblers (particularly at the craps tables), lots of the slots that blared like fire-sirens to announce a big win was exactly how I pictured it having watched the TV show.

I think at first I was a little dismayed, traveling up and down the famed strip with Joanne, at how quiet the other really famous casinos were. Casinos at places like Paris, Caesar's Palace, The Bellagio and The Venetian were all so hushed by comparison. It took me a while to realize it was the Imperial Palace that was the anomaly, not the reverse.

So as classy and fun as the Montecito was on TV, its human experience vibe owed more to the Imperial Palace than The Bellagio.

The thing I remember most about the Imperial Palace was
those dealertainers. Celebrity impersonators would be your
dealer one minute and then the next minute, be up on this
little stage singing away. Here's "Little Richard" giving us a
round of Tutti-Fruity. It was just wild there way back then.

Many Vegas lovers may disagree with that assessment. And that's okay because I'm perfectly fine with them being completely wrong.

Okay, I've mentioned before that my first five trips to Vegas were with girlfriends - three of them, actually (though at different times. I'm not exactly Hef.) So those five trips were all filled with shows and shopping. The second of which you can do at home, I'd like to emphasize! Granted, I like to drink in Vegas so I suppose they could make the same argument. But as they say, when they're happy, you're happy... or something.

So in those first five trips, I saw a huge amount of shows. After that, when I was flying solo for the next 11 trips, considerably less because I came to the early realization that I could do whatever I wanted... whenever I wanted. So, drinking at casino bars it was! As the Greeks would say in celebration... OPA! (Except mine is spelled with an 'I' not an 'O'.)

Now, here's where it gets tricky. Like I said, I saw a lot of shows in those first five trips and if I say, "So Joanne and I saw this and this and this and this," I run the risk of mentioning a show I saw with a different girlfriend. And within the dictates of 1947's Playing Nice With An Ex Social Manifesto, she has every right to say, "That wasn't me, you asshole. Hope she gave you Herpes." 

So I'm sticking with two of which I am certain. And the first one involves that big $500 win. My biggest Vegas win ever, mostly because I don't really gamble.

The Imperial Palace had this humongous classic car show on
an upper floor so there was always a car or two within the
casino to advertise that. I'm 99% sure I probably wasn't
supposed to lean on this classic auto but I don't know that.

Among the shows we saw (that, again, I'm certain of) was The Price Is Right Live! Yeah, like the Bob Barker TV game show we all loved as kids when we were "sick" and got the day off school.

Now I was convinced we saw this at the Paris Resort and Casino (a place Joanne very much loved) but my London buddy Mark (@pennys4vegas) assures me, no, it was at Bally's Resort and Casino. He knows this because his wife, Liz (@buffetprincess) loves the show. Fair enough. Like I said, I was a newbie and my memory blows. What do I know?

So Joanne and I got our tickets and went to line up so we could register and get our oversized Price Is Right price-tag name-tags. When we got to the table, I happily chatted and joked with the two ladies working. The very second we turned away, Joanne said, "They're gonna pick you!" I thought, "Sure, whatever you say, honey."

Okay, if I'm being honest, while many servers in Vegas do look
like these ladies, the ones at the Imperial Palace did not. They
skewed a little older. Which, frankly, I preferred. I wasn't all
that young even then so I liked them being closer to my age.

But I did get picked and when I knew I was going to write this, I reached out recently to Joanne and asked her why she thought that way back then. Her answer: "I remember thinking that they would choose you because of your outgoing nature and high energy." Huh. Nope. Calling bullshit on this one. Sorry, Jo! I think at the time she saw an exchanged glance or a nod between the ladies or something. If women's intuition extended within the boundaries of Las Vegas, there would be a lot of rich ladies coming home from the place.

So it worked pretty much the same as the TV show. Four people called down to Contestants Row to bid on items. The big difference is on the TV show, the three with the bad bids stay on Contestants Row. In Vegas, four new ones were called each time. Now I never made it to Contestants Row and that is a good thing. Because even as a kid, I sucked bad at guessing prices on items. This is exactly what would have happened.

"What did I do this time, officer?" Oddly, with all my trips to
Vegas, I have never run afoul of Johnny Law, as the mobsters
probably called them. Even going solo, no matter how drunk
I become, I know that there are 87,000 people in Vegas at that
exact same moment who are WAY more hammered. Part of
my thing is counting on the bad behaviour of others and you
know what? Those perfect strangers never ever let me down.

Host Todd Newton: "Don, what do you bid on this GE 8-slice toaster?"
Me: "Wow, Host Todd Newton, that's a pretty sick toaster. I bid $12,000."
Host Todd Newton: "Don, think about it. It's a toaster."
Me: "Damn, you're right, Host Todd Newton. Make it $13,500!"

No, I got called down on the very last segment - to spin "The Big Wheel," seen in the top photo. You all know this but for the three who don't, here goes. The Big Wheel has numbers ranging from 5 to 100. Five represents a nickle, 100 a dollar. The idea to is get as close to a dollar as you can with (I think) up to three spins without going over.

Let me just preface this by saying before the show started, all of us were told to cheer as loudly as possible and should you be picked, tons of enthusiasm, please. Arms flailing in the air, jump up and down, that sort of thing. So when I heard, "Don Redmond, come on down!" (that was actually very cool), Joanne quickly reminded me, "Jump up and down!"

Is this the appropriate amount of air you need when jumping up and
down on The Price Is Right Live at Bally's in Las Vegas? Looks like
she got about a foot of air based on her positioning beside the Big
Wheel. In my case, it was a solid six inches of air. It's not that I didn't
want to appear over-enthusiastic. That's just my max vertical leap... 

So up to the stage, I bounded. Enthusiastically. Lots of jumping, arms flailing, the whole magilla. It was me versus two ladies (I was just one of two guys chosen among the 20-plus contestants.) I was third. First lady spun a not-good-enough number and went a second time. She went over the dollar total. And then there were two. Next lady spun once, got a low number so she spun again for an 85-cent total. Ouch. All on me now! So grabbed that sucker and spun hard. It finally stopped on 90 cents. I was stunned. I looked out at Joanne and she was bobbing her head up and down like, "Jump, you fool!" So I did. Then I did the most Canadian thing ever. I hugged the other lady and said, "I am SO sorry!" You can take the man out of Canada but you can't take the Canada out of the man, eh?

If I didn't believe in hypnosis before seeing Anthony
Cools - and I'm 99% sure I didn't - I sure as hell
did afterwards. His show was, hands-down, the
funniest thing I have ever see in 16 trips to Vegas. 

And with that win, Host Todd Newton placed five $100 bills in my hand, the easiest money anyone could win in Vegas. 

And while that was my biggest windfall ever in Vegas, it's not the most memorable moment. No, that would be when Joanne and I went to the Paris Resort and Casino to see hypnotist Anthony Cools. Geezuz, I still chuckle when I think of that show.

Now I'll be honest. Before seeing the show, I was pretty much skeptical about hypnotism. Even as Cools randomly plucked about 20 people from the audience, I honestly thought, "These are plants. Probably here every show." So he did his hypnotist schtick - the soft, relaxing music, his calm, low voice saying soothing words. I was fine. Looked at Joanne. She was fine. But then it got very interesting. If someone was not falling under up on stage, they got the shoulder tap and off they went. In the end, there were about 10 people left on stage, all of them under. Plus one more. It turns out the guy sitting right in front of us also went under. So Cools' pretty assistant came down, collected him and guided him up onto the stage. Then things got crazy and hilariously raunchy.

This was a hilarious part of the show. Before waking up a
participant, Cools shook their hand and said, "When I
let go of your hand, you will wake up. But until then, you
will believe you are having the most intense orgasm that
you have ever had!" And it was the real shit. His assistant
draped a blanket across everyone's lap and spend more of
her time pulling away hands as they gravitated towards
their own crotches. NOT a show for the Bible Belt folks.

This was NOT "now quack like a duck" hypnotism. No, it's Vegas so it straddled a far more adult line. Participants were told to straddle chairs and pretend they were in a porn movies. And guys, lemme tell you this. The ladies put the men to shame. The men looked dorky AF. The women, not so much. If you had any inhibitions at all, sexual or otherwise, trust me, you did not want to end up on this stage. It was as risque as hell and if you didn't have the right sense of humour, a little bit on the twisted side (Joanne and I were clearly fine with it), trust me, this was not the show for you.

But the most entertaining participant had the least sexual suggestion. One guy was told by Cools that every time the Johnny Cash song, "Burning Ring Of Fire" played, he had to immediately sit on the floor and drag his ass along it to put out the fire. Yeah, his ass was on fire. (Shut up, we've all been there!) But never the same place twice. So as the show went on, this poor bastard would be calmly sitting in his chair, suddenly the song would go off, his eyes would widen like pie-plates and off he'd go, dragging his ass along the stage with a panicked expression, trying not to cover the same floor space twice. It was as entertaining AF!

If you go to Vegas and don't mind a show that's a little more
on the adult side, I highly recommend seeing this hypnotist,
Anthony Cools. I went onto Tripadvisor to pull up some of
the reviews so I could remember more of what I saw. I now
would like to thank the people who took their elderly Moms
to see it and were very disgusted. They jogged my memory. 

But here's how I know this was all real and legit. On the way out, I had a chance meeting with that guy who was sitting in front of us and ended up on the stage. He still seemed a little dazed so I asked him, "How was it?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "The last thing I remember was sitting in my chair in the audience." He was telling the truth. You could tell.

And then we saw the young lady whose boyfriend was fuming at her because she had unknowingly stimulated an orgasm on stage. Poor thing - didn't have a clue. Fortunately, this huge linebacker of a man was near them and happily said,  "Hey, we're in Vegas. Let's all relax and have a great time. You did great, miss!" With that, the guy chilled right out and the young lady smiled and thanked him.

So there you go, Glenn. My big $500 win in Vegas on my very first trip. There's been 15 more trips, all with stories. But they can wait for another day. Vegas will always be there. Peace out, homies...

Is the Von Bugle experiment over?

It's all fun and games until your TV show gets canceled. Then
it's all "well, WTF happens now?" The word from the Evans
Avenue Von Bugle brewery in Etobicoke is that the brewery
has ceased production of the fledgling Munich Lager. Ooops!

I didn't think twice when my store got an email saying to yank our remaining Von Bugle Munich Lager stock and send it back with our Steam Whistle bottle returns.

Truthfully, it happens all the time. Breweries review their sales at each individual store and tend to yank their lowest-selling product. Why? Because individual shelf space costs them money, both where I work, as well as at the LCBO. So they yank the bottom performers and replace them with another beer or a brand new sku in the hopes that it will perform a little better sales-wise.

With Steam Whistle Pilsner being our largest selling craft beer (by a humongous margin) and the Steam Whistle Session Lager selling fairly well, Von Bugle, owned by Steam Whistle, was bound to have a, well, limited shelf life, so to speak. And that's why I wasn't the least bit surprised when I went into the cooler to grab the last of the Von Bugle for return.

Seeing this Jessie Milns photo of Von Bugle, taken for BlogTO, reminded me that
I've never actually visited the brewery. I was kinda, "So THAT'S what it looks
like!" That's odd because I'm in and around the area all the time, stopping at
places like Great Lakes Brewing and Black Oak Brewing. Now I HAVE to go
just to see what happens with this sign. And that car. Now a collector's item???

However, it didn't take long for me to hear that no, this wasn't simply a shift out of my store. It was a full movement out of all the stores and the LCBOs. In fact, according to a couple of folks inside the Etobicoke plant, they haven't brewed or canned Von Bugle since the beginning of the Summer. Geez, where will I get my Munich Lagers now, I cried??? This is seriously the kind of thing that keeps me up all night. Okay, call it indigestion if you wanna get all technical and medical about it.

Cecil!!!! I haven't seen this guy in probably six years when I was at a different
Beer Store in Oakville. Back then, he was filling in for someone on maternity
leave. This time, when he popped into my store in May, he was filling in for
someone... on maternity leave. But it's funny. When we first met, I was still
a clean-cut fellow (okay, certainly less hairy, sloth-like and disheveled) and
he had maybe four-inch dreads. Now I'm a hippie and he piles his foot-long
dreads into his cap. "What happened to us?" I laughed when we met again.
"We used to be so cut-clean and respectable!" Granted, Cecil still is. It's me.

So if Von Bugle has been discontinued (no official statement issued yet), does that mean its namesake brewery on Evans Avenue in Etobicoke is shutting down?

Well, no, it can't. You see, in that world that existed pre-plague (remember that - it was called 2018 and whoever thought we'd look back at that craptastic year with any sense of nostalgic joy?), the folks at Steam Whistle shifted most of their brewing equipment out of the historic Roundhouse and into the Evans Avenue facility. And why would they do that? I mean, that's the OG brewery. What's the dealio?

I apologize for the kaiser as everyone knows I much prefer
my super-famous roast beef and Swiss cheese sandwiches
on an onion bun. However, Metro was out, letting down
not just me but society itself. Anyhow, this past Summer,
Steam Whistle, under contract with New Belgium Brewing
out of Colorado, finally started brewing Voodoo Ranger
IPA. The malt level is under dispute within the Brew Crew.

Well, when founders Greg Taylor, Cam Heaps and Greg Cromwell all left the brewery (Cromwell quite early in the run though I believe Taylor is now back in the fold), the brewery became run by a Board of Directors. In the shrewd financial wisdom of a board filled with business minds, they realized they were sitting on - or rather, in - a cash cow. The Steam Whistle Roundhouse. Given its historical significance in Toronto and desirable on-the-lake location beside whatever the Sky Dome is called now, it seemed it was a preferred location for things such as wedding receptions and smallish business conventions. That's some Big Cheddar right there. Kahhh-ching!

So a couple years back, they shifted almost all brewing equipment to Evan Avenue, leaving just enough in the Roundhouse to fill kegs... for all those Toronto and area restaurants that are about to be shut down tight for the second time this year. The equipment shift opened up tons of new floor space and I think they now have four separate banquet spaces there... for all those weddings that aren't happening this year.

This would be Bryan serving me up a New
Belgian Fat Tire Amber Ale at The Golden
Nugget in Downtown Las Vegas back in
September 2019. The on-tap version was
so metallic, I had to return it instantly. But
Bryan graciously replaced it with a Stone
IPA (which tasted as fantastic as always...)

Just as Monty Python warned us that "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!!" neither did we expect a massive global pandemic of this magnitude. (Anyone else suffering from Covid Fatigue because I sure am and I don't even think we're halfway through yet.)

So what happens with Von Bugle now? Well, we know the building stays put as it is a necessity to Steam Whistle. Actually, it pretty much is Steam Whistle minus the Roundhouse. The Munich Lager seems done but that doesn't preclude a new brew (Von Bugle Porter, anyone?) in the future. And Steam Whistle's licensing deal with Colorado's New Belgium Brewing likely means many more beers on top of Fat Tire Amber Ale and Voodoo Ranger IPA. (If I can suggest the Voodoo Ranger Juicy Haze IPA? I've heard tell those hazy beers are popular up here. Outside the IPA genre, that Fat Tire Belgian White Ale would be cool and I think more than a few of my friends would enjoy their 8.5% Trippel Belgian Style Ale.)

But let's look back a bit at the release of the Fat Tire Amber Ale up here. Amidst much hoopla, Steam Whistle released the beer with a special party on May 7, 2019. Being super familiar with it through my Las Vegas trips, I was thrilled. It's my favourite American Red Ale. My morning routine down there is "coffee, a little breakie to pad the gut, a Fat Tire for a smooth transition into the drinking portion of the inevitable shit-show and then come the IPAs!"

This happy chap is noted Toronto Beer Historian Gary
Gillman. I got to meet Gary and his wife, Libby, in an
Oakville parking lot back in early June so that they
could give me some cans of a collaboration beer that
Gary did with Amsterdam Brewing. The result, using
a historic recipe, was the English Bitter 1870 AK . It
was brewed with all British ingredients. Lots of fun to
 try a beer from a 150 year old recipe. Old school cool.

Within a week or two, the Fat Tire landed in my store - six-pack bottles, identical to the ones used in America. Naturally, I was thrilled and dove in head-first. And in fact, I was so impressed with the Steam Whistle Fat Tire that I declared on Twitter that it might actually be superior to the one brewed in Colorado.

"Uhh, not so fast there, cowboy," said noted Toronto Beer Historian Gary Gillman (quote is not even remotely accurate), who's exceptionally well-travelled and incredibly knowledgeable about beer and other beverages. Food, too, now that I think of it, Basically, he's a Renaissance Man. Turns out Gary had the Fat Tire on tap at a Toronto pub and having enjoyed the American version many times, he wasn't wowed. A little acrid, I believe he said. I suggested that perhaps the lines weren't clean and that he should try the bottles. Eventually he did and while the bottles were a significant step-up in the direction of the original, he still preferred the American version.

Well, since I only take carry-ons when I go to Vegas, meaning no liquids, I decided when I returned to my favourite vacation destination, I would have to sample yet more Fat Tire to decide which version was better in my mind.

The only thing cooler than enjoying a New Belgium Fat Tire Amber
Ale on a slot machine in Las Vegas would be me actually being in
Las Vegas, like, right now!! Damn you Covid. You are stealing my
most simple joy!!! That said, I think Gary's right. The Colorado
version of Fat Tire might just have a wee step up on our version.

So I did. When I returned in September 2019, I landed at The Golden Nugget in Downtown Las Vegas on Fremont Street. Like many casinos, they happened to have Fat Tire on tap so on Night One, I ordered it.

My bartender, Bryan, who two days into my trip just started calling me "Canada" (as in "Hey, Canada, what's up?"), poured me a pint of the Fat Tire. Man, I wish it was just a little acrid. It was flat-out metallic. Nothing like it is in the bottle you see to the left. I quickly returned it and Bryan replaced it with a Stone IPA which was flat-out perfect. So, in conclusion there, both Gary and myself were 0-for-2 on the tap version.

Simple enough, mind you. On Day Two, I had it from the bottle and it was perfect. Better than our version?

When I arrived at the Downtown Grand just off Fremont Street in Downtown
Las Vegas for Birthday Week in mid-February 2020, the young fellow at the
check-in desk asked if I wanted a room fridge. I simply replied, "Mmmm K."
Whereas my friends Mark from London and Laura from El Paso need room
fridges for their diabetes medicine, I was left wondering what medicine I
could put in my fridge. Found a couple of high-ABV IPAs that could cure me.

Well now, I'm not gonna say Gary was right and I was wrong. But I will say this. Gary was right and I was wrong. But I was only marginally wrong. The Canadian version, I still maintain, is top-notch. But the American version is a little deeper and richer in flavour. Perhaps my often-stated love for Red Ales made me root for the home team a little more.

Anyways, that's all the latest Steam Whistle, New Belgium and Von Bugle news I have. So, Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...

 

Hanging in the Hammer with Young Nick

For Stop #1 on our whirlwind Hamilton Brewery Tour, I took Nick
(well, actually, he was driving so I suppose he took me) to Clifford
Brewing in West Hamilton. It was an important stop because they are
the reigning Canadian Brewery of the Year. Also, owner Brad Clifford
was on hand (he's always there so I figured) to talk to us both and give
a little insight on the brewing world. So let's say the day started bigly.

The first time I ever worked with young Nick, it started with a chirp. That's right - the little bastard chirped me.

"I hear you're really horrible to work with," he grinned. "That's right," I replied in all seriousness. "I am literally the worst." (That's hyperbole. Working with Hitler was way worse. Probably.)

*Awkward pause* "Well," he sighed, "this is no fun if you don't play along..." (Rule #1: Let the newbies know their place in the hierarchy.)

Since that point, it has been one long series of chirps back and forth. Mostly me. (I know at my age I'm expected to be the mature one... but hey, man, he started it!!)

At one point during this pandemic, when my store opened back up to taking beer, wine and liquor bottles (in Ontario, you pre-pay your empty deposit at point of purchase), we divided the lobby into two zones. Two people with empties on the left, two people buying beer allowed on the right. I was usually the traffic cop at the door. Mostly because I'm loud. I like to say, "a voice that could command the gods." Perhaps my long-time co-worker, Trishan, would have the best measure of which. Whenever we get a new hire, they tend to start Mondays. I'm always off Mondays. He tells them, "Tomorrow, you'll meet Donny and realize just how quiet you've been all your life." Huh. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

Stop #1 on the Nick and Donny Hamilton Brewery Tour
was our friend, Brad, at Clifford Brewery over there in
east Hamilton. (The elders still call it Stoney Creek.) So
anyway, here's young Nick enjoying a Fruition Fruited
Sour with coconut, pineapple and lime, something he said
was "interesting and unique." This kid enjoys his Sours.

So, anyway, Nick was usually on the selling beer side. And I started instructing people (with a smile, of course, blocked by a facemask) to go to the "ugly kid over there." Evil, yes, but once again in my defence, not exactly "Let's invade Poland."

Now because most beers upset his stomach, Nick started at my store as the guy who drank radlers - half beer, half fruit juice, usually grapefruit. It's not as severe as a gluten-allergy or anything but just enough to cause him discomfort. Eventually, though, he started trying Sour beers and found not only did they not irritate his gut, he quite enjoyed the taste. His father, Mike, who I've now met several times, is a little more like me in his beer tastes, enjoying his big IPAs though he's less keen on the stouts and porters. But Nick has a brother who drinks the dark beers (his favourite is Cameron's Ambear Red Ale so good on him!), as well as the lagers/pilsners. So the trio have most of the styles covered.

So for the past few months, Nick has submerged himself into the Sour Beer scene. And when we originally planned this little Brewery Getaway, he wanted to go to Toronto. Only West Toronto, I suggested, otherwise you're stuck in a huge headache of a traffic quagmire and trapped there for infinity... and beyond.

With Brad being at Clifford that day, we were
able to ask him: How exactly do you win Brewery
of the Year? Okay, say you enter eight beers at
the Canadian Brewing Awards in the various
categories, what brewers do is put four of them
forward as their competitors. Based solely on the
medals they win (with weighted points for gold
through bronze), they tally up your score and the
highest takes it all. Just like Clifford did in 2019.

Only it's not as funny and entertaining as Toy Story.

So a month ago, I threw out a half dozen brewery names and left it for Nick to decide. Basing his decision on the breweries with Sours he had not tried, he selected Rainhard Brewing, Junction Craft and Indie Alehouse. (Truth is he was driving so I left it up to him. Every brewery's got something for me.) Tough to argue those - all stellar choices. Except it turned out that two were closed Mondays. Earlier I had suggested Hamilton would be an easier run for us from Oakville so I threw all the Hamilton names at him, except Grain & Grit, which is closed Mondays and let him decide. My only caveat? Clifford Brewing, the 2019 Canadian Brewery of the Year, (I say that pretty much every time I mention them) had to be included.

Based on the Sours he saw from the list of Hamilton breweries, he decided we'd go to Clifford, Merit Brewing, Collective Arts Brewing and Fairweather Brewing. Again, all fine choices and certainly all brew beers I'm happy to buy!

On our way over to Clifford, our Stop #1, he was curious as to why I was so insistent on them. Couple of reasons, I said. First, owner Brad is bound to be there (he was) and second, they were Canada's reigning Brewery of the Year. Nick was startled. "Really?" Yupper do, man! To young Nick, his big brewery tour was starting perfectly. (To an old salt like me, ALL brewery tours start perfectly because of "I'm at a brewery, what else could you ever need?" reasons.)

Just want my Vegas buddies to know that they were
very well represented in Hamilton as I wore my buddy
Mark's Pennys4Vegas shirt, as well as my Bud-themed,
Modern Gothic-style Hogand2cent face-mask. Stylin'!

Well, very much NOT to my surprise, Nick seriously loved it there. Brad had plenty of time to talk to us. He dug Nick's 2019 burnt orange Dodge Challenger (the kid's got a pretty sweet little road-rocket) and asked him all about it. While the brewing area is fenced off, Nick got a chance to really see the vats, tanks and the inner workings of a legit Best-in-Canada brewery. Great spot, great fun and as always, great to see Brad. Missed his father, though. Next time, Barc... we'll talk some more Vegas another day since neither of us is getting there any time soon.

Okay, from there, Nick had booked a lunch slot at Hambrgr, a well-known (though not to me) backyard burger place in Hamilton, whose secondary appeal is that it's a five-minute walk from Merit Brewing.

I guess they've been open for a little while under Phase 3 (being an essential worker who hasn't stopped, I don't even remember when that started) because they've got their social distancing thing down between the tables, both inside where we sat and out on the patio.

Forgot to take a picture of the cheeseburger, which is a shame
because it was fantastic but I didn't forget to take a picture of
the beer! The craft selection at Hambrgr is outstanding so I
got myself a Junction Craft Brewing Hazy IPA, which is ironic
because it was set to be one of our stops in Toronto. Some
plum on the nose, all tropical and orange in the mouth, 6.2%
and seriously just a solid example of the East Coast style!

No one but no one does a backyard burger as well as places like this. Yeah, costs more than Burger King and worth every penny. Fantastic outfit!

But their craft beer selection was as stellar as their eats. High Grade IPA by Fairweather Brewing, Shawn & Ed Lagershed Lager, Great Lakes October Wants to Fight IPA, as well as two from Junction Craft Brewing, their Junction Stout and New England IPA. And that's what was just on tap. In bottles and cans, Steam Whistle Pilsner, Clifford Brewing Porter, Phillips Brewing (Victoria, BC) Tiger Shark Pale Ale, Forked River Capital Blonde and Muddy York Gaslight Helles.

Shit, I could have sat there all afternoon (and well into the evening) and had plenty of drinking options! That said, brewing tours involve movement so after Hambrgr, we wandered on over to Merit Brewing.

Poor Nick. Every time we went to a new brewery, I made
him point up to the sign. Why? Because every time, I
take my son, David, to a brewery, that's his job. Point
at the sign. David loves having his picture taken. Nick?
Not so much. Tough shit. Yeah, he bitched but meh...

Now this is where I was very lucky to be riding shotgun with Nick. Ever since he dove into the Craft Beer Pond, he meticulously researches everything - new Sours releases for himself, new IPA releases for me and his Dad.

My sole purpose in visiting Merit was to grab a bottle of their Black Is Beautiful Stout, as well as a couple of their Young Rival IPA for "because I'm there anyway" reasons. But Nick remembered there was a secondary interest for me while we were in their Bottle Shop. "Didn't you also want that 10.2% Coffee Cake Imperial Stout? Remember they have that collaboration one with Sawdust City?" he asked me. Geezuz, what a memory on that kid because yes... yes, I did say exactly that. Like, hours previously. Uncanny. So, yeah, because of Nick, I grabbed a one-litre howler of What Friends Are For Coffee Cake Stout and geezuz, it was exactly as advertised. Coffee, vanilla, cinnamon - it was a liquid coffee cake. So bloody delicious! The ultimate dessert beer.

Okay, because Merit was a quick stop-and-shop destination, next we were off to Collective Arts Brewing because they had a couple of Sours Nick wanted and let's be frank, they'll ALWAYS have IPAs for me and Mike.

Of all the breweries I have visited (a small handful) since their
retail reopenings during this pandemic, I have to admit that
Collective Arts seems to have the best combo of protective
shields and proper social distancing. They are completely
contactless, as the sign says, with safety measures in place.

It's Collective Arts. That's what they do.

Now I gotta say in these pandemic times, the way that Collective has set up their retail is pretty damn impressive. Plexi-glass screens everywhere, strong safe distance measures in place, absolutely contact-less in every way possible. Even a sign that basically says, "For gawd sake, don't touch anything!!" THIS is a brewery that is taking Covid seriously - as all should be - as well as being fully committed to protecting their staff from those coming in from the outside. So Toni, Matt and Bob, take a bow. People from any business across the board in Ontario could take a lesson from you! 

While there, we both bought a Mix-Six, which we tucked into Nick's trunk and promptly returned to enjoy a bevvie in the sunshine on the patio. We both chuckled at the fact that the very same beers we bought for four bucks and change at retail were eight bucks at a patio just 15 feet away.

That's right, Monkey Boy, you pose under that damn sign. I'll
tell you when you can stop. Like I said, David wasn't available
so Young Nicky was my surrogate sign son for the day. Lucky!

Hey, man, tasty beer and sweet, sweet sunshine come at a price and frankly, we were happy to pay it.

Our last stop, Fairweather Brewing, turned out to be a bust. Despite being posted as open on their website, when we arrived, there was a sign on their door that said (something like), "Gone Fishing - Open Again on Wednesday." Whoa, bummer. Made for a long ride home as that put us directly into rush-hour traffic. That said, had we gone the Toronto route, it would have been worse. At least the Hamilton breweries are closer to Oakville.

But some interesting chat during the car-ride. Nick was curious about David's functioning levels (as many people are - I get asked that a lot) and if there's one thing I'm always happy to talk about, it's my boy. So I gave him the run-down. Exceptional memory (far superior to mine), strong social skills, extensive vocabulary compared to his peers growing up.

Of all of the Brew Crew, I told Nick to pay a lot of attention
to anything Graeme, right, has to say. A proficient home-
brewer, strong knowledge of Ontario's craft brewing past
and capable of breaking down any beer at practically a
molecular level, he's the guy you want on your Beer Reach
For The Top team. Here, he's chatting with Kimmy, the
one informally responsible for keeping us yahoos in check.

On the other side of the coin, because he's deaf in one ear, his enunciation can be tricky to comprehend though he shows tons of patience repeating himself until you understand. And while he can be adult in some situations, rebellious teen in others, at heart he is still a young boy driven hard with his fascination of DC and Marvel superheroes, as well as other trappings usually left behind by adulthood.

Turns out Nick's curiosity was partially-based on a TV show he had been watching called Love On The Spectrum, an Australian-based (picked up here by Netflix) reality show that followed young Autistic adults through scenarios such as dating and relationships. It was a fascinating watch, Nick noted, as some handled the perils and pitfalls of dating remarkably well while others literally needed a parent along as a chaperone for coaching. (It sounds pretty damn interesting to me.)

I suspect Nick's interest was piqued because as a teen, he admitted, his social anxiety was so high that he couldn't even attend a party with friends. "What we are doing today (touring breweries) would have been impossible for me then."

When Brew Crew member Greg first met Nick at the Beer
Store, his greeting was, "Hey, it's Sour Nick," a nod, of
course, to Nick's preferred beer style. In that, he also has
a friend in Greg, the Brew Crew's most adventurous guy
when it comes to Sours. I'll try the odd one but IPAs are
more my things. But all of our interests are pretty wide.

Mike, I am happy to tell you that your son has conquered it and in fact, never shuts the hell up at work. Obviously, joking but lemme tell you, Nick is hard into watching every release in all of Ontario. If there's a new IPA released anywhere, trust me, I hear about it.

Nick was also deeply interested in the loose collection of no-good-niks we call the Brew Crew. First of all, I told him to pay close attention to Graeme. Our resident homebrewer's knowledge of beers and their mechanics runs so deep, if he says a beer tastes like a fish fart, guess what? It tastes like a fish fart. Told him to watch both Curtis and Paulie G for their exceptional photos, as well as Paulie G's phenomenal descriptions of beers. Follow Glenn for the bad jokes, follow Greg for the Dad jokes. Kimmy has an eclectic taste in beer styles, scattered across the board. If you wanna brush up on your French, Joel's the man. Danny, up there in Sudbury, is also a homebrewer and a solid pro at picking out subtle flavours. Like Nick, Paul "The Big Peezy" has FOMO - fear of missing out and has amassed such a huge collection of beer that the rest of us are staggered by its enormity. And, of course, follow Drunk Polkaroo... simply because he's Polk. Anyways, a fun day, I thank you, Nick but Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain, as always...