When the joke is no longer funny

I thought this Donald double-whammy from Northern Maverick
Brewing, soon to be located in Toronto, was actually kind of
chuckle-worthy at first. Not guffaw-worthy. Just a chuckle. But
then things went down in Charlottesville and suddenly the face
on their Fake News Ale was very unfunny. The brewery has
since announced all Trump imagery is getting yanked pronto.

I avoid politics for the same reason most sane people avoid kale. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

For nearly three decades as a reporter, I had to cover municipal, Provincial and federal politics and frankly, when my run as a journalist was done, so too was all forms of politics in my life. It's boring, it's repetitive and frankly, while the various sides on the left and right sneer at each other, I was able to clearly see they were simply two sides of the same coin. They both believe they are on the side of the angels. And they are both wrong. Both sides are all about getting re-elected. And little more. It's a gold-plated gig. Is that a cynical view? Well, all I can say is go cover it for over 25 years and give me your answer afterwards. I'll wait.

So while it might seem like this column is about politics, it is not as I have little interest in either side. It is, however, hopefully a look at what society might want to consider as right and wrong. At least from the little rock I sit on.

You see, Northern Maverick Brewing, which will soon open its own brewery on Brunswick Street in Toronto, has (had) a beer called Fake News Ale. I first saw it at the BurlOnTap Beer Festival in Burlington a couple of weeks back. The label lampooned President Donald Trump and it gave me kind of a chuckle. Completing the joke was a hat that said, "Make Beer Great Again" so yeah, they were clearly poking some fun here.

I am certainly not a fan of Trump's but to be honest, I wasn't too keen on Hillary, either. I thought they were both remarkably poor choices for their parties.

After the Charlottesville, Virginia conflict, the
magazine, The Economist, made it clear that
they were NOT happy with the President's
response to the situation, portraying him as
little more than a booster to the Neo-Nazis. 

That said, and I am being brutally honest here, who the hell cares what I think about either? I'm Canadian. Not my circus, not my monkeys. America made its choice and I simply shrugged and thought, "Well, if that's what they want."

So like others, I have sat back and watched what is going on south of the border. I seldom comment on it but I do watch with interest in that we are landlocked with America and I want to know what's potentially spilling over onto our side of the 49th Parallel.

Some of it was quite amusing. To be honest, I miss Sean Spicer's press conferences where he was put in the unenviable position of translating or defending his new Boss' words. It always went something like this...
Spicer: "It was the best-attended inauguration in history!"
Reporter: "Actually, no it wasn't. When Obama..."
Spicer: "You shut the hell up, jackass!!!"
I'm sorry but like I said, I find stuff like that funny. I'm a little sick and twisted that way.

So anyway, after being amused by Northern Maverick's merchandise, something happened the very next day in Charlottesville, Virginia, that turned my stomach. When the city announced that they would be removing statues of General Robert E Lee, there was a pretty big protest - one that resulted in a tragic death.

As it turns out, the person that would have hated
statues of Robert E Lee was, in fact, Robert E Lee
himself, who stated that in his own writings that
honouring South generals with statues after the
war might "keep open the sores of war" and that
they would add to the "difficulties under which
the Southern people labour." So he was opposed.

And who was protesting the statue's removal? Well, let's see - you had white supremacists, the Ku Klux Klan and Neo-Nazis. Now a quick history lesson. Robert E Lee was the general leading the South in the America Civil War, which ran from 1861 to 1865. He didn't want slavery repealed. Leading the North (for a large part) was General Ulysses S Grant, a familiar name, who fought to have slavery abolished. The North was the Union, the South was the Confederates. Lots of famous American names involved but long story short, the North won. End of story, right?

Some 620,000 soldiers on both sides died before it was over and it seems some of the wounds never healed. A lot of people in the South were pissed and erected statues of General Lee and others as an "eff-you" to the Union. They did so against the expressed wishes of Lee himself. But to many, since the man was fighting to keep slavery alive, these monuments are, at best, as racist as shit (yes, at "best") and at worst, morally repugnant.

So when this so-called "Freedom Rally" was held in Charlottesville on August 12th, the idiots from the Ku Klux Klan, Neo-Nazis and white supremacists took to the streets, protesting the removal of the Lee statue, chanting such "delightful" things as "One people, one nation, end immigration", "Jews will not replace us" and "Go back to Africa, n*****s!"

I'm not seeing a lot of cultural and gender diversity with
this Freedom Rally. White, male and moronic seems to be
the common thread here. Their parents must be so proud.

The rally was all white males as far as I could see and had a collective IQ of maybe 50. The counter-protestors, who showed up in equal number, were all of colours, genders and cultures. You know, like America itself.

It was a horrific clash but not without precedent. You see, back in 1939 to 1946, people also fought against the Nazis. I know both my grandfathers were involved. But instead of the Union vs the Confederates, Round Two was highlighted by the Allies (yay!) and the Axis (boooooo.)

As previously mentioned, the clash ended with the tragic death of one counter-protester but believe it or not, it got worse. You see, President Trump, who referred to the two sides as the "alt-left" and the "alt-right" was handed an opportunity to speak out against the hate of the protesters with their Tiki torches and disgusting chants. He declined, blaming both sides, instead. To that end, he made it clear he thought the "violent" people protesting the Nazis were somehow on equal footing to the "bad" Nazis themselves.

You and me both, Miss. My grandfathers would be
rolling in their graves knowing this fight was still
happening on America's soil. It's really sickening.

Violent? Lemme tell you something, sir. In WWII, they had guns with bullets, tanks with shells and planes with big-ass bombs. That shit was violent! Two days later, he would bemoan the movement to remove "our beautiful statues" depicting the Southern generals (remember now: the pro-slavery guys), showing that he either doesn't truly understand racism or doesn't care. I think the President probably should care. Just sayin'.

Now here's why I don't think politics plays a role here. I have friends whose politics are right of centre, just as I have many more on the left of centre. As a group, I suspect those on the right find Neo-Nazis, white supremacists and the Ku Klux Klan to be disgusting individuals. And in WWII, it wasn't the "alt-left" and the "ale-right" fighting the Nazis and fascism. It was alt-everyone! Personal politics were left at the door as they all entered Boot Camps.

The fall-out from the rally was interesting as many of the "Freedom" protesters recognized by their employees were fired in many cases and disowned by their own families. Apparently, many companies and families alike didn't like the idea that Bob in Accounting might just be a Nazi or that Pete might start railing against the "Jewish threat" at Thanksgiving dinner. Go figure.

Whether it's domestic terrorism or terrorism abroad,
this is my stand. I believe if we all sat down with some
hoppy beers and talked things out, terrorism could end.
Well, at least the cultures allowed to drink beer, anyway.
Is it a simplistic and sophomoric solution to a complex
issue? Yes, it is. I am simplistic and sophomoric at best.

You can talk about ISIS and all the other terrorist threats in the world but this was home-grown. Born, bred and made in the USA terrorism. Probably best to fix that first while you're looking out at the evils in the world.

In the end, the only response that I liked was from the makers of Tiki Torches themselves who were appalled to see their product being carried by the "Freedom" protestors. In a statement the following day, TIKI Brand made it clear they were "not associated in any way" with the demonstration and were "deeply saddened and disappointed" that their products were associated with the marchers. "We do not support their message or the use of our products in this way."

So what on Earth does any of this have to do with a Toronto craft brewer??? Ah yes, well, after the events in Charlottesville, one Toronto beer writer, Mike Burton (@beermostly) made it clear he could no longer stomach even a joking reference to President Trump on a beer can, such as that on Fake News Ale. Many agreed, including the Canadian Beer News (@cdnbeernews) who said the brewery would get no further coverage from them until the imagery was pulled.

Northern Maverick owner-founder Jason Kaptyn, left, and
head brewer Andrew Crowder pose out front of 115 Bathurst
Street, soon to be the home of Northern Maverick Brewing.

I have to believe that after the events in Charlottesville, the brewery was thinking the same thing because later the same day, they issued a press release saying all-Trump-related imagery would be gone. Like instantly. In that release, likely penned by owner Jason Kaptyn, the brewery said, "With regard for the escalating situation across the border and feedback from our own craft beer community, we have decided to pull Fake News Ale. The idea behind FNA has been very clear from the moment it was launched - to shed light on the unfathomable actions and policies of the current (Trump) administration and help people affected by them."

So, like the rest of us, they get it. The joke is no longer funny. And they acted accordingly. Frankly, I'm gonna give them a well-deserved chance. Making a mistake is easy. Fixing it that quickly, especially when it involves your flagship beer, is a little tougher. As for the President, I'm not sure why he loves those slavery-soaked statues in the South so much. I mean, he dumped Steve Bannon this week. So it's clear he has no issues discarding calcified relics that are cold, hard tributes to the "joys" of racism. Man, I tell you, it's like you can't even perpetuate centuries of oppression anymore without facing some sort of backlash on social media. It's a bugger. But ladies and gents, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

BurlOnTap sets up shop... indoors!

Given my two experiences at the beautiful Waterfront
Hotel at the foot of Brant Street, it seems when a Beer
Fest happens INSIDE this building, no one is exposed to
the elements! What kind of witchcraft is this, anyway??

The first ever Burlington Beer Festival was held in Spencer Smith Park over three days in July 2014. It rained. A lot.

The first ever Burlington Winter Beer Festival was held in the Waterfront Hotel's ballroom in February 2015. Being as it was indoors, it neither rained nor snowed on the event.

The second Burlington Beer Festival was held in July 2015, again at Spencer Smith Park over three days. Once again, it rained. A lot. It was a damn mucky go of it. It didn't soak my personal enthusiasm for the event but it sure as hell dampened ticket sales.

The second Burlington Winter Beer Festival was held again in the Waterfront Hotel's downstairs ballroom at the end of January 2016. Oddly, once again, no snow or rain came inside the building. It's the damnedest thing. It's like walls and a roof somehow protect people from the elements. I figure I'll have to ask American astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson how exactly that works. I mean, who knew? Gotta be some kind of weird-ass magic, eh? Bricks and mortar are protecting people from the weather? That's just crazy talk.

This young couple navigates their way through the
mud at the 2015 Burlington Beer Festival at Spencer
Smith Park in Burlington. After two straight years of
rain for the Summer Beer Fest, organizers fell apart
over whether the 2016 one should be held indoors.

In the end, organizers were so at odds whether or not to hold the 2016 Summer Burlington Beer Festival indoors or outdoors, that the whole thing just fell apart. The group went their separate ways. I'm not sure about other participants but I had to drink on my own patio last Summer. Like some kind of goddamn savage. (I did enjoy the trip home, though. All five steps of it. Zero cost. No broken bones. It worked.)

There were other costs associated with the Burlington Beer Fest that made it a costly venture, former co-organizer "Downtown" Wayne Brown told me. Such as hiring five off-duty police officers over the course of three days. Or the dozens of porta-potties. Hell, just the fencing around the park (to keep out the riff-raff, although I got in anyway.) "Do you know it cost us $10,000 just to bring electricity into the park?" Holy crap, that's some serious Benjamin Franklin's!! (You see what I did there. Because, you know, electricity... and money. Okay, if you stopped reading right now, I wouldn't blame you.)

So there was no 2016 Burlington Beer Fest but Snapd Burlington, a media outfit, swooped in to hold the 2017 Burlington Winter Beer Festival (I was out of town and missed it) and according to the website, will be doing a 2018 Burlington Winter Beer Festival.

I know these people!!! That's the lovely Kylie, my own
absolute favouritest ever Beer Technician on the right.
Granted, she only makes cameo appearances at Rib
Eye Jack's Ale House as full-time nursing is keeping
her pretty busy these days. Oh and the older dude on
the left is THE Downtown Wayne Brown, the man, the
legend, the guy who does a lot of beer festival stuff for
our fair city. This time, it's the BurlOnTap Festival.

So good on them but it looked like this would be the second straight Summer without a Beer Fest in Burlington.

Whoa, not so fast, says Downtown Wayne Brown. You see, he hasn't spend the last year, crying in his beloved brown ale over the loss of the Summer Festival. No sirree, Bob, he has been organizing a brand spankin' new one. Now obviously, the name Burlington Beer Festival is taken so he can't use that. So Wayne has created his own Beer Fest called BurlOnTap and as he was one of the people tired of all the damn rain, it will be indoors at the Waterfront Hotel on August 11 and 12. For the Friday session, it's 4 pm to 11 pm and the Saturday one is noon to 11 pm. Tickets are $30 for singles, $55 for pairs or a four-pack for $100 and are readily available through burlontap.com.

So indoors finally wins, eh, Wayne? "Yes, that takes the weather out of play." But, dude, what if it's a beautiful, sunny day? Downtown Brown, as always, had the answer.

"Doors open wide to a huge patio. If the weather's nice, we can probably fit 150 to 200 people out there. The patio is right by the water overlooking the lake so it's going to be great. The patio is sponsored, of course, by Nickel Brook (Brewing), the best brewery around." I would agree with my complete bias towards them fully acknowledged.

This couple, Patti and Mike McMillan, is in the business of getting you
AND your car home safely if you've had too many wobbly-pops. The
pair owns Driver-Seat in Burlington and are now involved with Wayne's
BurlOnTap Beer Festival. Sounds like this could be mutually-beneficial.

The problem with depending on the weather, Wayne said was "a couple of hours of rain and people stop coming." Meaning no walk-in traffic, which is killer for any outdoor festival, beer or otherwise. But frankly, that patio takes the issue out of play - you can still enjoy your tasty craft beer in the sunshine!

The two logos created by Patti McMillan for the
BurlOnTap Festival. The top one is the longer
horizontal one to be used on banners and the like
while the bottom one is used for their social media.

And it turned out Wayne has a partner helping him out... or rather, partners! "So Mike McMillan, who owns Driver Seat Burlington, which is a business that will drive you home if you've had too much but also drives your car home too. Anyways, he's the partner at my Beer Festival and his wife, Patti (co-owner of Driver Seat) is the graphic artist (for the event). She's been a big help to us also."

Okay, since this is a Beer Festival, the real question is this: What breweries will be there? Why, I'm glad you asked. Of course, we have our local ones, Nickel Brook and The Hamilton Brewery (now three years old) plus a few more from further away. Pint Pursuits Brewing (Toronto-St. Thomas), Katalyst Brewing (Toronto), Rhythm & Brews Brewing (Cambridge), Four Fathers Brewing (Rockwood), MacKinnon Brothers Brewing (Bath), Orange Snail Brewers (Milton), Beau's All-Natural Brewing (Vankleek Hills - and also "Yay!"), Northern Maverick Brewing (Toronto) Lock Street Brewing (St Catharines) and Goose Island Toronto Brewhouse.

Not a huge stable, I grant you, but there's only so many breweries you really want to put in one room. Besides, I've never had a chance to enjoy the products from about half of these so that's always cool. But if you want a break from beer, Pelee Island Winery will be there, as will Cole Point Cider (made by the Bergeron Estate Winery out of Adolphustown) and Junction 56 Distillery (Stratford). Brown said that Junction 56 "are going to be serving vodka and whiskey in small amounts." So you know, if you want a chaser with that beer.

While I'm excited to try the beers from less-known (to me) breweries, Downtown Brown already has a favourite picked out.

Head brewer Daniel, left, and general manager Ivan
MacKinnon of MacKinnon Brothers Brewing will be at the
BurlOnTap Beer Festival despite the fact that August is a
pretty busy month in the farming community. Hey, all work
and no play makes a farm boy thirsty so welcome aboard!!

"I think one (brewery) that's going to impress a lot of people is the MacKinnon Brothers Brewery from Bath, Ontario, near Kingston. They've been farming the same land since 1784. They've got some really good beer right now. Everything you drink in your glass from MacKinnon is grown on their farm. So that'll be a big hit."

How did he managed to track down this tiny brewery from Bath? "I went to the Hamilton Food and Drink Show and they had a booth there. Sweeney was the guy from the family manning the booth. I had an (Eight Man) English Pale Ale and it was absolutely delicious. And they had a bunch of cans (of it) on display. So I said, 'Sweeney, can I buy a can to take home and show my friends?' And he said, 'Just take it.' And I did and the people who tried it really liked it."

"So I told him that they should come to the Beer Fest and he said they couldn't because they're farming that time in August. I said, 'Sweeney, you gotta come. Your beer would be so popular.' I finally convinced him to come and they're gonna stay in the Waterfront Hotel and they're really looking forward to it."

Here's one soggy beer writer at the 2014 Burlington
Beer Festival. I'm not sure who this dunce is but
clearly, he doesn't know any better than to get out
of the rain. Trust me, that was one rainy afternoon.

In the meantime, Downtown Brown has been shuttled from event to event throughout Burlington for the past two months, offering up tickets as prizes in contests and the like. "I think I've generated a lot of interest in this event so Mike, Patti and I really looking forward to it."

And when he says "all-ages" (well, 19-plus and older), he's not kidding. While Millennials flock to events like this, it seems the other end of the scale will be represented, as well. "There's a couple of elder residences - I'm not sure if I should be calling them nursing homes anymore - but they're going to be bringing groups of people in so that'll be fun - a real mix of young and old and everything in between." Hey, the more the merrier, right?

Hey, what about food? That's covered, he assured me. "The Beaver and Bulldog Pub is upstairs and they're going to be supplying pizza and they don't have far to deliver it," he laughed.

As for the costs associated with the old Summer Fests? Also off the table. "You want electricity?" he grinned. "There's a socket on the wall. Go plug yourself in." Sound like a plan. So once again, if you're up for it, go to: burlontap.com. And hey, if you need Mike and Patti's service before, during or even well after the BurlOnTap Beer Fest, go to: driverseatinc.com/locations/burlington. It's the smart and safe way to get home! But guys and doll, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...