Lake of Bays Brewing love their hockey

All-Star Toronto Maple Leafs goalie, Johnny Bower,
who won four Stanley Cups with his team in the 1960s,
had an odd greeting for me on an autographed picture.
This was the very photograph Anne had him sign for me!

Let me take you back a few years to a tiny newspaper I used to work at called the Halton Compass. We had a pretty solid (though crazy) staff of freelance writers and photographers for a little independent newspaper and as the Assistant Editor, it was my job to keep them all busy. A real-life version of letting the worst inmate run the asylum, as it were.

Now I was, in fact, the de facto editor but the owner, a funny, friendly Brit named Stephen was listed as both the publisher and editor hence my title. Since I care little about titles ("Hey!!! That's Mister Dickhead to you!"), it didn't matter to me what I was called.

Until the one day when I did. You see, among my freelancers was a crazy young girl named Ann. Now Ann was an artist by trade (and a pretty good one) but she also wrote some, well, interesting though clever pieces for us. Her greatest strength, however, was her photography which showed some real skills. Like professional skills. But calling her quirky, as many artists can be, was a little like calling beer wet... and super tasty. Understatement of the year. So this one day, her assignment was to go to a local bookstore where former Toronto Maple Leaf goaltending great, Johnny Bower, was doing a book signing.

This 16 Crazy Eyes Winter Bock Lager is probably the BEST
Lake of Bays Brewing product I have enjoyed to date. Once
again, I learned something. Such as there exists bock lagers!

But I had an extra "assignment within the assignment" because that's what the clever assistant editors all do. It was simply this: get me a personalized autographed picture of Bower. Also get the story with pictures, you know, for the paper - but dammit, get me that pic! I am happy to report she did - though with a typical Ann Twist. The autographed photo said: "To Don. The Best Ass Editor. Johnny Bower #1."

Ass Editor? Was my employer the Halton Compass... or Playboy??? Unfortunately, it was the former. But, of course, I had to ask, "Did you have a hand in this personalized greeting, Ann?" No, no, no, she swore up and down. It was just what he wrote, she insisted. With that, she turned around to leave before pausing briefly, looking back over her shoulder and giving me a wink. Little minx. I got her back. I checked out her butt as she was leaving. What can I say? It's what good Ass Editors do!

Why would they named a beer honouring former
Leaf Darcy Tucker "Crazy Eyes"??? You know
what? Forget I asked. That's a stupid question...

But it turns out I'm not the only one interested in Johnny Bower. Our friends at Lake of Bays' Brewing in tiny Baysville, Ontario, also have an interest in him... and many more former NHL players. (Shout-out to my favourite LoB sales rep, Tim - zup, bro? We need more Spark House Red Ale. I keep drinking it all.) No, you see, Lake of Bays created something called their Signature Series which not only honours former NHLers but also gives a portion of the beers' proceeds to the NHL Alumni Association. The only thing more Canadian than that would be sweating maple syrup and bleeding poutine. What a great cause and if you didn't think this brewery was awesome before, well, there's your reason. Among those honoured thus far: Bower with the China Wall (his nickname) Amber Lager, superstar Montreal Canadian goalie Jacques Plante with their Jake The Snake Imperial Pilsner, Leaf goalie Curtis Joseph with their Cujo Blonde Ale (had it, reviewed it, loved it) and Boston goalie Gerry Cheevers with their Stitches Oktoberfest Marzen Lager.

When Miss Canada contestant Chanel Beckenlehner
competed in the Miss Universe Pageant in Miami on
Sunday, we specifically asked her not to play into any
Canadian stereotypes. She largely succeeded with this
oh-so-subtle tribute to hockey. And yes, that is a Stanley
Cup in her Marie Antoinette hair. Whoa, Canada...

As I said, I have only had the Cujo, which was pretty damn tasty but man, they have outdone themselves with their latest outing - the 16 Crazy Eyes Darcy Tucker Winter Bock Lager. I have to say that even including their great Mocha Porter, this is hands-down their best beer yet. Nearly as dark as a stout, this 8% bock lager knocked me out with its coffee and licorice on the nose and bitter-sweet chocolate on the tongue. Beautiful job on this beer and great work with the NHL Alumni Association, guys. Much like Tucker himself, this bad boy will be getting penalized in my fridge for more than two minutes in the immediate future. (Seriously, Darcy, get the hell out of my fridge.)

Moving along to Peterborough, that town's craft brewer The Publican House Brewery recently released their Square Nail Pale Ale into the liquor store and while it's a solid brew, it's the Publican House history that I find intriguing. Owner John Conquer was part-owner of Kawartha Lakes Brewing before it shut down in 2004 and had the rights to some of its biggest names snapped up by Toronto's Amsterdam Brewery. Conquer then spent five years working on a business plan to reopen a brewery before landing in a historical home in Peterborough with an adjacent restaurant in 2009. And why is their location primo? It's smack-dab in the middle of student housing for Trent University and Fleming College. Guess who the leading consumers of good craft beer are? Bingo!

So how is Nickel Brook's and Collective Arts' collaborative expansion into
the old Lakeport Brewery going in Hamilton?? See for yourself. As their
Brewmaster Ryan wryly noted on Twitter, "This thing is starting to look
like a thing that makes stuff." The brewery, named Arts & Sciences Brewing,
is expected to be open by the late-Spring. All these tanks were bought from
Sleeman's Brewing when they shut down their Maritime plant last year.

While the brewery concentrates on just six different styles at the moment, the Publican House Ale is largely considered their flag-ship beer. However, that Square Nail (often used in the construction of 1800s homes) Pale Ale? The 5.9% offering packs a little punch with citrus and orange on the nose and light bitter pine on the tongue. It's not gonna knock over bigger contenders such as Nickel Brook's Naughty Neighbour or Great Lake Brewing's Canuck but you know what? If I lived in Peterborough, I would consider myself well-serviced, indeed, by this beer and the brewery.

Well, last Saturday was Robbie Burns' Day and even though I'm only half-Scottish, I am genetically-encoded to celebrate properly. Just as I celebrate Recycling Day with the same aplomb. I do stop short of wearing the kilt. That's good news for everyone! However, 'kilt' is what you might get if you ever dared to call one a 'skirt' in front of a burly Scot's man.

Okay, these are just cool! Nickel Brook
recently released these one-litre, stainless
steel growlers that look like mini-kegs. At
$30 per, they are a bit pricey but their
promotions lady, Amy, tells me that are
getting snapped up. One will be - by me!

Well, then, what better choice than Highlander Brew Company's Scottish Ale? Much like The Publican, Highlander also started up in 2009 when Brewmaster Brian Wilson (in case you were wondering what he did after the Beach Boys) created the Scottish Ale. Since then, he has added their Blacksmith Smoked Porter (had this tasty smoky black-bomb at the Toronto Festival of Beers Spring Session at the Evergreen Brickworks last March) and their Lions Grass, which uses organic lemongrass and dandelion leaf in the mix, as well as the odd seasonal and collaborative brew. So they are a tiny outfit in a tiny town. But the Scottish Ale uses four varieties of both hops and malts before Wilson cracks the barley on site to ensure freshness. This is very much a U.K.-style of beer with toffee and malt on the nose, this is a bit too sweet for me on the tongue (honey. perhaps) but is still quite drinkable. Granted, their Smoked Porter has made many repeat visits to Donny's Bar and Grill so Highlander is doing alright by this guy. (I just pointed two thumbs at myself when I said, "this guy" but you may have missed it.)

But could I truly honour the legendary Scottish poet Burns without imbibing a couple of Innis & Gunn beers, straight from Edinborough? Beats me. The guy's dead. Has been since 1796. Like he cares. I just wanna drink beer and use him as my excuse. Hell, I'd honour a mime to drink beer. And then strangle him. So steer clear of me, also dead Marcel Marceau.
Okay, this time around, I tried their Rare Oak Pale Ale and Scotch Whiskey Porter. Their Rare Oak Pale Ale was something of a dud for me. You get hopeful with a hint of spice and floral on the nose but on the tongue, it was far too sweet.

The Whistler Brewing Company knows
how to lure you into their bar. Because
a man walked into it... and had lots of fun!

I much preferred the Square Nail Pale Ale over this - North American style over United Kingdom. However, big thumbs up for their Scotch Whiskey Porter. Now we're talking! Aged over oak infused with whiskey, there's plenty of that on the nose with some malty, bready, toffee and even banana on the tongue. Dynamite little brew. Robbie Burns would be proud if he wasn't so... dead.

Next up, I went out and watched my buddy Lloyd's band, Speakeasy, play at The Purple Heather in Burlington on Robbie Burns Day and lemme tell you this. If "too drunk to stand" is a yoga pose, I nailed the hell out of that one. Fun night with a truly great Nickel Brook standard on tap.

Okay, what's been brewing on Mini-Cask Thursday at Rib Eye Jack's Ale House, also here in Burlington? Oh, I've had a couple of dandies... and one "meh". They can't all be winners. That's why track and field meets hand out "Participant" ribbons. Hell, I have a drawer full of those. Because I was quite literally forced to participate in track and field events. Often above my screams of "When did I wake up in Russia, you bastards???"

But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! Until next time, I remain as always...

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