This was the Summer that... Part Two

No, THIS is what colour mustard really is, Home Depot...
Also that's the sickest mustard dispenser ever! WANT!!!

Okay, let's continue with "This was the Summer that..." but first, a quick story about being colourblind. You see, the two-storey apartment that houses Donny's Bar and Grill desperately needs a paint job. I mean, the whole place. I've been here eight years and haven't lifted a finger - strangely a sore point with some of my ex-girlfriends who, in my defence, decided I was kidding when I said I was incredibly lazy with my free time. Who kids about laziness? Also, I despise painting. I'd sooner clean every toilet in this sprawling luxury complex than paint anything. So after heavy consultation (beer-fuelled cyber-chat) with New Zealand Beer Musketeer Stevil St Evil, it was decided that my two washrooms would be a good starting point - both smaller jobs and the rooms that women are kinda sticklers for when it comes to the cleanliness of a dude's abode. Guys, tidy every other room up but dammit, make sure the washroom is spotless!! You're being marked. And judged!

This was the Summer that... I tried the Altbier
from Owen Sound's Kilannan Brewing at the
Toronto Festival of Beers. Peppery on the nose,
lightly hopped on the tongue. While decent,
didn't wow me. But solid one from a tiny place. 

Now the beauty of being both colourblind and a guy is that I planned on painting rooms anything but white. If it's ugly, I simply tell my date that I'm colourblind, it looked super-cool to me and I get "Awwww, well, at least the poor guy tried" points. Neighbours Amy and Simon had some left-over paint but it was all white. So off to Home Depot I went looking for anything-but-white. And here's the trick about paint if you don't really care about colours that, in my case, you can't really see anyway. While regular gallons run in the $50 a pail range, cast-off paint is much cheaper. Cast-off paint is where the husband decided he knew precisely what colour-tinted paint his wife wanted, was, of course, completely wrong so it got left behind. It's actually labelled "Ooops Gallon". I got mine for $9 - quite a saving! But with a dab of the paint on the lid, I struggled over the colour. Orange? Perhaps lime-green? So I asked the lady what colour it was. "Mustard," she smiled, "Why? What do you see?" Confessing I was colour-blind but knowing this was not the colour of the condiment I use on my cheeseburgers, I meekly guessed, "So mustard is, like... dark yellow?" She said, "Yeah, sure, like dark yellow." I sensed a quick get-rid-of-him answer on her end. I may never know what colour my downstairs bathroom truly is when I finish this little project. On the other hand, what do you want from me? At least it's clean. Take your iPhone in with you if it's too distracting. But please don't take selfies in there and then Instagram them to all your friends with comments about the colour. That's mocking my "disability". Though being a bathroom, y'know, Selfie Central. Okay, back to beer...

Courtesy of lovely Vicky's camera, Speakeasy is
shown here blasting out the Burlington suburban
night. That's my main man, Lloyd, slamming the
skins while 'Killer Voice' Kristine owns the mic...

Okay, this is the Summer that... my friends Vicky and Lloyd threw pretty much the coolest backyard, open-air concert in the Burlington suburbs ever. Due to work, I missed a sizeable chunk of the fun (stupid work) but still caught enough towards the end of the night. Starting at about 7 pm, they were well into their third set of outstanding covers when I arrived at 9:30 and even then, with no permits, no nothing, they kept it going until about 10:15 when a noise complaint from three blocks away finally shut it down. Even then, the pretty cop, while doing her job, insisted that we pass along to the band how awesome she thought the music was. Armed with my 6-pack of Flying Monkeys Hoptical Illusion Almost Pale Ale, I marvelled at the rock-steadiness of this clan. While Lloyd and son Cam wore their Led Zeppelin shirts, son Brandon rocked his Rush shirt while Vicky had her Alice Cooper going on. The family that rocks together and perhaps the best example of really cool parenting I've ever seen.

Okay, this is the Summer that... Beer Musketeer Glenn happily enjoyed the first ever Durham Beer Festival, followed exactly one week later by my first ever Burlington Beer Festival at Spencer Smith Park. And there were more firsts where that came from...

My buddy, Curtis, from MacLeans Ale was not only
representing at the Toronto Festival of Beer, he then
served me up the perfect glass of their Pale Ale...

The Burlington Beer Fest was the first public outing for the boys at Oshawa's Underdog Brewing and their outstanding All Or Nothing Hopfenweisse, a great German-style wheat that they're planning to brew year-round. Why? Because it's tough to get a great wheat of this calibre in the Ontario winter (or anywhere in Canada, really) so hello... niche filled! It was also the beer fest where I met the boys from tiny MacLean's Ales out of Hanover and first tried their pale ale. Beer Musketeer Cat and I enjoyed it so much that the brewery made a point of hitting me up on Twitter to let me know when some of their 500ml bottles had landed at a nearby Oakville liquor store. On my first day of vacation this week, I did the 50 kilometre (30 mile) round-trip to two separate liquor stores for both their Pale Ale and some Tree Brewing and Phillips Brewing products out of British Columbia. But when it comes to keeping happy customers coming back, it's tough to beat the effort MacLeans Ales go for their faithful. Really impressive, guys! That's how you build a customer base!

Okay, this is the Summer that... I got to meet my stunning grand-daughter Annabelle when my step-son Ryan and his beautiful wife, Lindsay, flew into town from Edmonton.

This was the Summer that... Muskoka Brewing announced
the most perfect Mix-Six for hopheads such as myself. Their
Hoptorial contains two Detour Session IPAs (30 IBU, 4.3%),
two Mad Tom IPA (64 IBU, 6.4%) and their outstanding
Twice As Mad Tom (71 IBU, 8.4%). Guys, it's about time!!!!

While dining and talking craft beers, Ryan and I got to compare our notes on Asus laptops, Consensus? They blow nasty-ass chunks. Since the beginning of the year, mine's been in for repair six times, Ryan's four. I'd honestly blame my dubious and illicit browser history but if it's happening to Ryan, too? Yes, they just suck. However, after writing a blog on their visit and posting it on Facebook, Ryan and my first-ever girlfriend (from Grade 5) Micki started swapping notes about the lack of decent craft breweries in Edmonton, where Micki lives with her hubby Tom. Oh man, Micki and I were a steamy coupling back in the day as I believe we held hands a few times. There may have even been a kiss on the cheek. (Beat that, Tom!)

Okay, this is the Summer that... a humble sheep farmer from Wellington, New Zealand took his side-hobby of drinking excellent beers, then jotting down notes on the interwebs about them and turned it into winning the New Zealand Beer Writer of the Year a month ago.

A beer-bottle Darth Vader from Canada to a brother
from another mother and Star Wars aficionado Neil,
who won New Zealand Beer Writer of the Year...

Yes, my buddy, Neil, won that long-overdue award but has remained humble, noting that it's not like he walks around with the award in his pocket. But that's mostly because the pockets of his cover-alls are filled with grain for the flock of sheep... so, y'know, no room. Well done from the nation of moose-loving poutine-eaters! There's probably some sort of "from tiny seeds..." analogy that would work here but this maple syrup lover doesn't know it so ask the Kiwi sheep farmer.

Okay, this is the Summer that... I noticed Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery out of Barrie changed their caps. While Glenn has long noticed the pithy sayings under the cap ("Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt" as an example), I have found that once the cap is off a Smashbomb Atomic IPA, my time with it is done because the beer is waiting. Read it? I don't think so. However, I did notice they had gone from their yellow-based cap saying Flying Monkey Craft Brewery to a black-based Flying Monkey with the words "Craft Brewery" replaced by the words "Magnum Opus." That's Latin - it means either a great work from or the best work of an artisan, usually a composer or artist. This applies to any number of their beers. Carpe diem, boys. Latin on...

But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! I have some big-ass British Columbia craft beers coming up next but hey, that was the Summer of 2014 to me. Let's just say 2015 has his hands full. But until next time, I remain...