Little Kevey's Excellent East Coast Adventure

Newman! Ooops, I mean, Redmond! Damn you, Redmond,
you corrupted my husband to a life of Craft Beer Obsession

Right now, there is a very nice woman out there, who I have never met, and she's cursing my name with the same vehement disdain that Jerry Seinfeld used whenever he spat out, "Newman!" with a clenched fist.

I'll be frank - this is not a new phenomena to me. I've been getting the silent and not-so-silent curses from wives and significant others for decades now. In actual fact, my last name has been a one-word answer for any number of usually-bad situations, regardless of gender. A couple of decades back, my buddy, Johnny was heading into work on the Toronto subway one Monday morning and his older brother, Bill, spotted him, looking far worse than something the cat hacked up on the carpet. "What the hell happened to you?" big brother asked. Johnny's one word answer? "Redmond." Bill, who knows me, got it. As for me, when I got home that weekend, I weighed myself and discovered I was three pounds lighter. So there you have it. It's scientific fact. Dignity weighs three pounds.

Kevin made a "Gus Fring" level mistake
with his first craft beer - a Mad Tom IPA

Now it hasn't happened in a while because, well, wives and girlfriends know me all too well. If their hubbies are allowed out to play with me, they know there's always that ever-so-slight (seriously... less than 5%) potential for a late-night phone call from the police. But a couple of weeks back, I got a little shiver. My Spider-Sense was tingling, ever so faintly. Somewhere, a woman was shaking her fist and uttering, "Redmond!" Didn't take me long to find out who. My buddy, Kevin, was vacationing in Nova Scotia with his wife, Heather, and my inbox was suddenly deluged with pictures of the craft beers he was trying out there. Yup, I've never even met Heather and she was 1,300 kilometres (800 miles) away but yeah, I felt the "Redmond" Curse. Perhaps the background story on Kevin is needed here.

He and I met years ago when we both worked for the same municipal government offices. However while his job description was something like: "Holy crap, you're important! Here's a big corner office with a view!", my job description was a little more along the lines of: "Uhhh, dunno. Let us figure you out first. Maybe go clean some toilets?" But in those days, I was a Labatt's Blue drinker while Kevin favoured Blue Light. Things have changed.

Kevin is taking over the East Coast, cruising through
Nova Scotia and trying every craft beer he can. He has
been sending me photos of all the beers for days now.
This brewery, Tatamagouche Brewing, took over an old
butchers' shop this year and has just two beers: above,
the Hippie Dippie Pale Ale and Butchers Block Red Ale

While at City Hall, Kevin and I forged a friendship that was completely based on shenanigans. Kevin is a life-long Detroit Red Wings fan and one day, I signed his City Hall email address up to a Toronto Maple Leafs fansite, which sent out weekly newsletters to their subscribers and Kevin's came to him addressed to "Little Kevey". Your tax dollars at work, people. We once scored cheap tickets to a pre-season Toronto Maple Leafs-Red Wings game at a nearby arena through our City Hall connections. Understand that pre-season NHL games are mostly tests for the rookies. Both teams will ice a team laden with newbies and an assorted small measure of stars to appease the crowd. Had the Red Wings won, I never would have heard the end of it. But my Maple Leafs won so to this day, Kevin refers to that fateful night as "the time your rookies beat my rookies and it didn't count for anything."

So after a few months of reading this little horse-and-pony blog, Kevin decided to test the craft beer waters. Unfortunately, he started with Muskoka Brewery's Mad Tom IPA... which pretty much took the top of his head off. When I asked if he was okay, he said "yeah" but sent me a picture of Breaking Bad's Gus Fring's face half-blown off. But rather than give up and do the Walk of Shame back to his Blue Light, he kept trying. Eventually, he stumbled across Flying Monkey's Hoptical Illusion Not Quite Pale Ale and liked it so much, he drank the restaurant dry. (They only had two bottles but still...) And now? Kevin is now fully immersed in the world of craft beers for the long run. Well, so long as no actual running is involved. So while Kevin credits me for his new-found love of craft beer, we can assume Heather blames me. At Donny's Bar and Grill, we call that the Circle of Life...

Hell Bay Brewing is a tiny operation out of Cherry Hill, Nova
Scotia and Kevin got to sample some of their brews recently

But as I said, Kevin was happily sampling and sending me pics of the East Coast's finest crafties. Halifax's Garrison Brewing did very well by him early on as he tried their Tall Ship Amber Lager (maybe even more than one or four from the sounds of it) and their Hop Yard Pale Ale. Then it was (also Halifax) Propeller Brewing's IPA. After that, he was onto Hell Bay Brewing's beers out of Cherry Hill - their English Ale, Dark Cream Ale and Pale Ale. And from there, well, he must have totally stumbled onto this one... I had to Google it: Tatamagouche Brewing and their Hippie Dippie Pale Ale. Brewed in the tiny town of the same name, this brewery has been around less than a year, took over an old butcher shop and makes just two beers. Much like tiny MacLean's Ales out of Hanover was for me, this is Kevin's diamond in the rough - the ubercool ass-backwards discovery of a little-known brewer. Pretty damn good for a former Blue Light drinker, Little Kevey! Dude, your Maple Leafs are so proud! Heh, heh...

The Three Beer Musketeers, as imagined by Disney.
Clearly, Glenn is Goofy, leaving me to be Donald while
Cat scores the Oscar-winning role of Mickey Mouse

Okay, from the east coast, let's shift to the sunny patio at Donny's Bar and Grill because 'Hellfire, Margaret' (phrase still applicable regardless of name, except for Margarets... then it's very specific), The Beer Musketeers both recently brought me some beauties. Glenn recently took his boy, Jake, for a sightseeing trip in Rochester and Niagara Falls, New York. While there, he made quick pit-stops at both the humongous Beers of the World outlet in Rochester and the much smaller but still kick-ass Consumer's Beverages in Niagara Falls, which, while it must have sucked a little for Jake, benefited me greatly. Probably high time for Jake to learn what benefits me also benefits society-at-large so suck it up, kid. (Joking. Met the friendly chatty lad who seems really great.) Despite getting lost 217 times while across the border (you think that's hyperbole - it isn't - he got lost 217 times in a 25-mile radius - I have a call into the Guinness Book of World Record people - he's a lock because the old record was 82), Glenn somehow found my Beer Store to deliver a very cool Mix-Six.

Loved the name, loved the label so how could it go wrong?
Oh right... Horny Goat Brewing, this could be a better IPA

Holy crap on a cross, there wasn't a dud in the bunch. While I very intentionally don't use RateBeer before a purchase (good or bad, I don't want to be swayed), Glenn did and thank gawd for that. The Mix-Six has a Ballast Point Brewing (San Diego) Sculpin IPA, two bottles of Bells Brewery (Galesburg, Michigan) Two Hearted Ale, a Rogue (Newport, Oregon) Shakespeare Oatmeal Stout, a Horny Goat Brewing (Milwaukee) Hopped Up 'N' Horny IPA and finally, the sure thing - a Stone Brewing (Escondido, California) Ruination IPA that he knows all too well I love enough to marry, which may or may not be legal here in Ontario. I have to check the rules. If it was available here, we'd already be common-law.

"Romeo, wherefore art thou?" Over here, pounding
this tasty Oatmeal Stout in the garden. Chill. bitch!

Since I've already rhapsodized at length about the Stone Ruination IPA (lightly kissing its forehead with breezy, flowery Shakepearean sonnets) in the past, let's move onto the Bells Two Hearted Ale - a full-bodied IPA that calls itself a mere mortal ale. 'Tis not. 'Tis an IPA as befits the Roman Gods! (I'd go further into the Ancient Roman gods but I've erase so much browser history on my laptop, it no longer knows who they are. At this point, Google just says, "What you talkin' about, son?") Where was I? Right, the 7% Two Hearted Ale scored 100 on RateBeer but I had it right after the Ruination (also 100) and lemme tell you, it's a 97. Don't get me wrong - 97 is outstanding. It's damn good. Huge pine and light floral on the nose, it's grapefruit-bitter on the tongue. Excellent beer. The Ballast Point Sculpin IPA, another 100, deserves every mark. The first IPA ever where I got apricot and peach on the nose, there was pine and grapefruit on the tongue. Boom baby, this was the bomb!

Beer Musketeer Cat stopped by Donny's Bar and Grill on the last day of Summer to drop off a Central City Brewing Red Racer Imperial IPA that she picked up while visiting family in BC so we both sampled the Horny Goat Brewing Hopped Up 'N' Horny IPA, as well as the Rogue Ales' Shakespeare Oatmeal Stout.

And, folks, this is how you celebrate the last day of
Summer in Canada - with a tasty Red Racer Imperial IPA

The consensus on both was varied. The Hopped Up 'N' Horny IPA, which Glenn concedes he got me just for the name alone (not sure if that's a nod to me or him... but both likely apply), had us loving the label and the name. The beer was pretty decent - much better than the 34 it snagged on RateBeer. But as an IPA at just 41 IBU (international bitterness units) and 6.3%, I can see why it got panned. Not overly hoppy, it had a little citrus on the nose and caramel on the tongue. A strong ale maybe... but a weak IPA. That said, we both enjoyed it. (The name won us over.) But the Rogue Shakespeare Oatmeal Stout? Odin, be praised. Roasted malts and coffee on the nose, bitter dark chocolate on the tongue, we loved this bad boy. We're Rogue Nation all the way!

But the last day of Summer had to close out with Cat's west coast offering, the Central City Red Racer Imperial IPA (formerly known as Red Betty). If you're gonna end Summer and step gently into Autumn, you have exactly two ways to do so - with this or the Stone Ruination IPA. That's it. That's your two choices - one American, one Canadian. The Red Racer is a 9%, 90 IBU crotch-punch, dry-hopped with whole leaf hops from the Yakima Valley.

So there's COFFEE in this? Don't hold back, Free Will...

Crazy (like, really crazy) blast of grapefruit and pine on the nose, intensely citrus on the tongue, this is one of Canada's best IIPAs, beginning and end of story. If my balls hadn't dropped years ago, they would have last night.

Okay, up next my co-worker Marie's tastes are expanding into the craft world and getting pretty damn good as she bring me new offerings from Walkerville Brewing and a pumpkin beer from my Burlington homeboys at Nickel Brook Brewing that doesn't suck, mostly because it's not an ale. Finally, a very clever brewmaster figured out, "Hey, if it's a porter or a stout, pumpkin crap beer might not suck quite so bad!"

Beyond that, I have the Hop City Big Mouth Pale Ale and Lawn-Chair Wheat, the British Columbia Craft Brewers Guild's Natural Selection Mix-Six (without one IPA - pretty much the opposite of natural selection) and the Dab Dark Draught Lager that puts the rest of that beer family to shame!

But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!! As always, I remain, until next time...