The beers, they are a-changin'...

For the life of me, I could not figure out why the
beer bottle kept getting bigger. And then it hit me.

"The only constant in life is change." This clever quote about the fragile state of timelessness is often wrongly attributed to French philosopher Francois de la Rochefoucauld, who plied his trade back in the 1500s. Wrong answer, buoys and gulls - try 2000 years before this French dude as Greek teacher Heraclitus first uttered it around 500 BC. (*Patiently waiting for the frat-boy snickering over "Heraclitus" to stop... and now the sorority girls are giggling, too, because they know the frat boys couldn't find one with a map*) Granted, he said it in Greek while de la Rochefouchald said it in French so here's another constant - I wouldn't have understood either of them had they said it to me. I would have stood there baffled and continued to repeat my original question, "Where's the nearest bar?", followed by an elaborate though increasingly desperate game of charades to drive my point home.

The notion of change being the only constant was illustrated during a stint as an official photographer at a buddy's Mom's Surprise 80th Birthday party just a few weeks back.

The word "beer" in cursive handwriting which, much to my
surprise, is now a lost art that's no longer being taught...

I caught up with Johnny, my life-long buddy, as well as his wife, Trish and two beautiful daughters. While we were talking, Johnny mentioned his daughter (and my god-daughter) Julia, who's 10, recently opened her own bank account. Once all the paperwork had been filled out, Julia was asked to sign the form. One problem. "I don't know how to do that," she said, looking to her Dad for guidance. You see, they no longer teach cursive handwriting in elementary school. That, in turn, means young people no longer have a signature and in the off chance that they become like Miley-Cyrus-famous one day, they will have to sign fans' notebooks with a big X... much like Miley does. That is, before she shamelessly twerks her scuzziness all over it, rendering it virtually useless for resale on eBay.

Who's drinking all these funky new craft
beers? Well, apparently, hamsters are...

Julia got by with simply block-lettering her name but Johnny warned me: "By only using only the keyboards on laptops and iPhone these days, in the near future, no one is going to know how to write with a pen." And I suspect he's exactly right.

But while everyday things slowly fade into obscurity (the wristwatch I still wear, writing cheques, knowing birthdays without the aid of Facebook, regular mail, phone numbers that you know off by heart, Bell Canada phone books, talking to and not texting each other while under the same roof and even pens, apparently), bright new shiny things come along and take their place, as predicted 2500 years ago by Heraclitus. (*Seriously, stop laughing - he didn't ask for that name*)

And one of the biggest shifts in paradigm is in beer consumption. Simply put, in the world that immediately orbits Brew-Ha-Ha!, tastes in beer are changing and evolving. Oh, I suspect the high-volume beers like Budweiser, Canadian, Labatt Blue and especially Coors Light will continue to be loud and strong for quite some time - these are the big guns that fly out of my store a 28-pack at a time all day long and there's good reason why we get them by the skid-load. But there is a subtle though noticeable shift in the winds as I have noticed more and more customers lingering in both our craft beer aisle, as well as our speciality beer area which features singles from around the world. Beer drinkers of all ages, while still mostly faithful to the old guard, are also trying and very much liking the newer craft beers.

The Phillips Brewing Amnesiac Double IPA is a really good
Double IPA... but I remembered having it so it's misnamed.

Now to be honest, it's mostly the younger generation who's leading the craft beer charge - my young co-workers and friends are trying and liking the new brews. Still, hundreds of young drinkers, male and female, at the Toronto Festival of Beers beelined it straight to the Coors Light and Budweiser venues, showing no interest in the new stuff (yet) so it ain't all young'uns whose tastes are shifting. A few of us surfing the craft wave are old enough to remember having to actually get off the internet if someone wanted to use the home phone. Not lying, kids, that used to happen because it was all hooked up to the same phone-line. So, y'know, if you remember that, you're pretty old... And we do have one huge advantage over the far more numerous young trend-setters:  we have more disposable income. We wanna spend more than $10 on a really good bottle of beer? We do. And if we really like it, we'll go back and get five more. Or five others that we've never tried, price be damned. They may have youth on their side but hey, we have cash on ours. And dammit, we love to spend it...

And now for something completely different... Phillips took
the traditional west coast IPA and went Belgian on its ass

Case in point: it was at the suggestion of young co-worker Carter, who knows my tastes almost better than I do, that I picked up a four-pack of Phillips Brewing (Victoria, BC) Amnesiac Double IPA. Granted, it's not in four-packs. No, the beer comes in single 650ml (22 ounce) bottles - I just happened to grab four because 1) it's a double IPA, 2) Phillips Brewing, though not well-known to me, is a known entity out west, 3) I trust all of Carter's recommendations and 4) it was the first day of my vacation and I wanted a crapload of untried, really good craft beer in the fridge at Donny's Bar and Grill. And once again, my beer dude Carter came through. At 8.5% and (let's assume) 80+ IBU (international bitterness units), lightly peppery and grapefruit on the nose, this is dry, crisp, fruity and hoppy on the tongue. Definitely being sought out again for my fridge because after all, my favourite appliance is gonna use the electricity either way so what the hell, eh? Stock it up!

While Tree Brewing's Hop Head IPA is a solid beer,
their Hop Head Double IPA is a humongous step up

But on the first day of vacation, there were actual singles that I bought, well, singularly and I'll admit, I went quite intentionally west coast heavy. Ontario and British Columbia virtually split the trophies at the Canadian Brewing Awards earlier this year so it was high time to... ♫ smelllllllllll... what the left coast is.... cookin'!!!! (Apologies to The Rock for the obvious misappropriation of a possibly trademarked catch-phrase that clearly has nothing to do with beer. Actually, come to think of it, what the hell was The Rock cooking? He was in a wrestling ring. It's not like he walked in there with a George Foreman Grill... or even George Foreman, for that matter.)

When it came to the Phillips' Hoperation Tripel Cross Belgian IPA, Beer Musketeer Stevil St Evil got the first word in from his perch in New Zealand before I had even finished pouring it. "Hmmmm," he surmised, "lessee, Belgie and an IPA? Gonna say... spicy?" While in fact a double IPA (8% and 80+ IBU) , uhhh, yeah, he kinda nailed it. Melon and flowery on the nose, it's initially sweet and then sharp, spicy and bitter on the tongue as befits the Belgian yeast. Another winner.

Okay, before Summer ends, it's time to try some more wheats
before it gets cold outside and it's all porters and stouts...

And keeping the "Donny's On Vacation And Winning But Not In That Weird Charlie Sheen Way" roll going was the Tree Brewing Hop Head Double IPA. Shazam, baby! At 8% and 90 IBU, it's pine and citrus on the nose, grapefruit, orange peel and a healthy handful of bitter on the tongue. Much like Muskoka Brewery's Mad Tom IPA and Twice As Mad Tom are only a few points separated on RateBeer, this was another case where I found the double IPA is a huge step up in taste for me as this sails past the regular Tree Brewing IPA.

One more from our friends at Tree Brewing out of Kelowna, BC, who know their stuff.

What the hell is it exactly that I'm cooking again?

After blasting my taste-buds all day with hops, it was high time for something, uhhh, mellow and Mellow Moon Pineapple Hefeweizen certainly fit the bill. Using 20 different malts, notably wheat malts, they give this a bit of punch with Perle and Tettnang hops. At 5%, this is a Summer-time pleaser with strong pineapple on the nose and banana, a quick flash of bubble gum and some pineapple tartness on the tongue. This was quite good though I would really love to see more Imperial Wheats like the outstanding King Heffy out of BC's Howe Sound Brewery.

Time to wind down but first a quick note on the big Independence Vote today in Scotland. Being half-Scottish on my Mom's side, well, that half is blasted on fine Scotch and yelling, "Fook, yeah!" Granted, I'm Irish on my father's side and it's saying, "We've been a Republic, independent of the UK since 1916. What took you bagpipe-playing wankers so long?" Still, I must have a little Northern Ireland blood in me and as part of the United Kingdom, they're a tad perplexed. "What do you mean you can just vote on this? We've been blowing up bloody cars here for this!!"

Man, these look good. I wish Labatt's still made these award-winners!

Okay, next up we have a crap-load of stuff starting with my buddy Kevin's Most Excellent East Coast Craft Adventure whereby he drags his patient wife Heather from one craft beer outlet to another. And then we'll look at the fine beers that Beer Musketeer Glenn brought me home from his recent excursion to Rochester, New York. And finally, keeping with today's west coast theme, I try out the BC Craft Brewers Guild's Natural Selection mixed-six pack. Six different breweries, six different beers... and not one an IPA. Okay, who do I register my complaint to at the BC Craft Brewers Guild regarding this clear oversight? But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Back in a few days but until next time, I remain...