Radio Wars over and more Scottish brews

As illustrated by Pixar's Monsters Inc., the height and
weight disparity between  my co-workers Ryan, top,
Lyall, centre and and Cassy, bottom. This also illustrates
their physical appearances as well with Ryan being a
 big hulking monster of a man, Cassy being a wee sprite of
a girl and Lyall being, well, a gigantic walking eye-ball...

Well, the Summer of 2014 is rapidly coming to a close. Even though the season itself doesn't officially end until September 22, most North Americans consider the Labour Day weekend to be the close of another Summer and we start to warily eye Winter in the all-too-short distance. (Not. Like. Last. Year... Please! I beg of you!) At the Beer Store, we have another way of telling the Summer is over. We start to lose our university students. Last Friday was Sassy Cassy's last day (Gordo and I treated her to post-shift beers) and by the end of this week, Lyall and Ryan are gone too.

This, too, means the Radio Wars in our empty sorting area are over. Lyall and Ryan's rock station will now reign supreme while Cassy's dance station has been muted. So who won the war? It would appear since I was the one to declare it a Radio War, I also have to select the winner. Let's put it this way. Since, at my age, I now know the words to the newest songs by Nico & Vinz, Kiesza, Rita Ora, One Republic and Demi Lovato, I'm calling Cassy the winner despite being outnumbered two-to-one and outweighed 500+ pounds to maybe 100 pounds. That said, I'm giving Ryan the Best Reaction Award for the time he was walking through the room, heard Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball playing, did a sharp U-turn, yelled "Hells to the no!" and changed it back to rock.

What my little girl Katie's country music is all about...

And Lyall wins Rebuttal of the Year after Cassy snapped at him, "Stop changing my radio station!" and he barked right back, "Stop listening to shit music!"

But Sassy Cassy didn't go without a parting gift for me. When I came into work on Friday, she gestured over to an all-too-familiar liquor store gift bag and said there was something there for me. Inside the bag - a 750-ml bottle of Flying Monkeys' Shoulders of Giants Imperial IPA with a note: "Don, Thanks for all your help, support, laughs and memories made from this summer, Cassandra. P.S. Enjoy a drink on me." And with that small but very sweet and thoughtful gesture before she left for Thunder Bay, in my eyes, she was now Classy Cassy.

With the three of them leaving and my little girl, Katie, returning from school for a stretch, that means one thing. Country music will be returning to the empty sorting room.

Hey, Willy Wonka said it, not me. Granted, I do agree...

But this isn't that "new country" music that's practically pop music, sung by the likes of Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Lady Antebellum and Shania Twain. Nope, this is the old-school pick-up truck country music which is apparently the direction this genre has spun back sharply towards. I don't listen to much country music unless Katie's working but I'll tell you this - it's a remarkably simple style to catch onto. One song I had never heard came on and was - I kid you not - about falling in love in the back seat of a cop car and by the end, I was singing along with the chorus because I had already learned the words. This is not a particularly challenging musical genre. Unless you count the challenge of fighting off the overwhelming urge to instantly change the station.

But it's time to talk about Scottish beers again... though certainly not traditional Scottish music, meaning bagpipes... which I still cannot believe have not been banned from the entire planet under various and sundry Noise Pollution Laws.

No, this bitter ale is not Belhaven's actual
Best - that would be their 7% Scottish Stout

Belhaven Brewery out of East Lothian, Scotland, has landed a couple of their beers on our turf - their Best Ale and Black Scottish Stout. The Best Ale, brewed as a bitter, has a malty toffee aroma and a taste of, well, bitter watery tea (yes, tea) and nuts. Tennent's drinkers would have no problem quaffing back this one. And the Black Scottish Stout? Well, at my store, it comes in a four pack (just like Guinness), is 4.2% (just like Guinness) and costs $11.95 (just like Guinness). So I'm sure you can imagine my *surprise* when it tasted... a lot like Guinness. I will have to put this copy-cat version of Guinness in a blindfold taste test with the Irish original to: 1) differentiate the subtleties between the two and 2) declare a winner. RateBeer had Guinness ahead 88 to 59. I suspect it's much closer than that. Some chocolate and dark fruit on the nose with a thin, bitter coffee feel in the mouth. Since the brewery also makes another 7% Scottish Stout that notched a solid 94 on RateBeer, I can only assume this is the cheaper one meant to directly compete with and imitate Guinness. Naturally, I tracked down co-worker Saga, the dutiful and loyal Scot and asked what manner of sorcery this be? "Hey," he wickedly smiled with that smarmy Scottish smirk of his, "If it ain't broke, why fix it?" If Jack The Ripper was Scottish, Saga would try to convince me he was actually a noble humanitarian, trying his best to rid the Scottish Highlands of prostitution... one hooker at a time.

And we have our winner, second from the right, with
the Heather Ales' Alba Scots Pine Ale. Delicious!!!

Okay, that purchase of the Historic Ales From Scotland pack with four beers (on the left) brewed by Heather Ales Brewery in Clackmannanshire that I found in tiny Forest, Ontario turned out to be one helluva buy. And that lands mostly (but not solely) on the shoulders of the Alba Scots Pine Ale. It was the second one I tried in this set of four and I wrote on the accompanying brochure "the best one!" before I'd even had the third or fourth. This 7.5% bomb-blast sees actual sprigs of pine and shoots of spruce boiled with the malted barley in the early brewing process. The aroma is all pine, the taste is deep malts and, well, woody and the result is outstanding... as can be expected by a recipe originally created by the Vikings. I felt the urge to swing an axe after I had it... and I do continue to apologize to my neighbour for that.

McEwan's Scotch Ale. Go on. I double-dog-dare ya

Their 6.5% Ebulum Elderberry Black Ale was actually my first beer from the pack and it was also a strong contender until I had the Scots Pine. According to the brochure, this beer style was introduced to Scotland by Welsh druids in the 9th Century at a time when elderberries were used as a cure for influenza and rheumatism. ("Hey, I'm no doctor but the druids swear this beer will fix you up. Seriously, have four or five. I'll wait over there.") Smoky and coffee on the nose, it's bitter and berry on the tongue. Great beer. The Grozet Gooseberry Wheat Ale is, I assume, something of a pale ale to the Scots and well, a weak sister in this pack. To be honest, I didn't even know it was a wheat until I looked at the label. Do not give this to the Germans unless you wish to be mocked. No aroma to speak of (or at least nothing discernible), a little malt and citrus on the tongue... and not much else. And finally, the Fraoch Heather Ale. To be honest, I have no idea what heather smells like (or what it is for that matter) but it must be herbal because I definitely got that. Then light and bitter-sweet on the tongue. Decent but miles behind the two powerhouses in this pack.

"This just in: McEwans is full of scotchy, scotchy goodness"

And finally, let's try some McEwan's Scotch Ale which my store recently got in six-packs. Originally brewed at McEwan's at the Foundation Brewery in Edinburgh, it got bought by Heineken in 2008 and then sold to Wells & Young in Bedford, England in 2011 where it's been brewed since. Never had it when it was an Edinburgh product but hellz yeah, this 8% ale is still dynamite. Smoke and caramel on the nose, molasses and complexity on the tongue, this has made several repeat visits to the fridge at Donny's Bar and Grill. Love this stuff.

Okay, when my long-time friends Shona, Andrea and I decided to go to the Hamilton Beer Festival last Friday but found out the hours ran 2 to 8 pm (really... 8 pm?) and none of us could get there before, maybe, 6 pm, we were in a pickle. So instead, we went to nearby Chester's Beers of the World and held the First Annual Three's Company Beer Festival on our own! Wanna know how it went? I'll be back in a couple of days to tell you. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here... Until then, I am, as always...