How Brewery Ommegang snagged Game of Thrones

I have in my possession two 750-ml bottles of Game of Thrones Blonde Ale, created last March by Brewery Ommegang in tiny Cooperstown, New York - a small craft brewery with a couple of dozen seasonal and year-round beers.

Tyrion Lannister drank 18 of
these one night and slept with a
12-pack of whores afterwards.
Dirty little imp...

The March release coincided with the Season 3 premier of the unbelievably-but-understandably popular HBO series, Game of Thrones, a mystical, medieval series that has basically taken the TV viewing world by storm. And in author George R. R. Martin's world, both the northern region of Winterfell and throne divider The Wall are never storm-free. Season 3 is over now and it was a season where *MULTIPLE-SPOILER ALERT* the beautious queen-wannabe Daenerys' dragons got kick-ass huge and prone to barbequeing anyone who tried to take them, Jamie Lannister learned humility after getting his "King-Slayer" hand chopped off, the great chunk of the noble Stark family got gutted at a family wedding (weddings are just brutal for boorish behavior; Medieval ones even moreso), Jon Snow finally got some you-know-what and fan-favourite Tyrion Lannister said something astutely and hilariously clever. Repeatedly. Show after show, just as he has since Season 1. He clearly is the Best Medieval Imp ever. I know this because he told me so.

So how did a tiny Cooperstown brewery land the rights to the hottest show on TV??? Well, that's a helluva question. One I even asked myself especially as I am prone to asking myself questions, such as "What day is this?" and "Where the hell am I?" and, of course, that old classic, "Where did this dead hooker come from?"

So I hunted through the Internet. Scoured it high and low for the answer. I read press releases from Ommegang CEO Simon Thorpe, HBO Director of Marketing Pamela Levine, HBO CEO  Richard Plepler and any number of corporate minions to try and figure it out. And, to be honest, I also got distracted by way too many pictures of cats, funny memes, bizarre signs and, well... was anyone else aware there's A LOT of nudity on the Internet?  I know, I know... you could have knocked me over with a feather when I discovered that... Who the hell knew, eh?

But after being a journalist for 25-plus years, I know how to read a corporate press release. HBO said words to the effect of "We felt Brewery Ommegang would be the perfect brewery for the Game of Thrones line because they had a long reputation of... blah, blah, blah, corporate double-speak..."

Had I written that HBO press release, it would have been more honest. "HBO is thrilled to have chosen an American brewery located in Cooperstown, the home of the Baseball Hall of Fame. What's more American than that? Also they paid us a crapload of cash for the rights, basically more than anyone else was willing to. And in related news, HBO now also owns the Baseball Hall of Fame."

Oh, for Christ's sake, will
someone hand Jon Snow
a damn beer. Poor bastard...

Brewery Ommegang's press release was equally as vague and elusive. Something like: "We're thrilled to be connected and have the honour of brewing beers in the name of the highest calibre of television entertainment, a world-wide phenomenon known as Game of Thrones... blah, blah, blah, corporate double-speak..."

My more-honest Ommegang press release? "As well as owning the Baseball Hall of Fame, HBO executives now own any child born to an Ommegang employee, get all the free beer they want, HBO execs can hold Ommegang keggers at our houses with wife-swap rights, are allowed to bathe in our vats, all the grilled cheese sandwiches they can eat, a written promise to try to genetically re-create both direwolves and fire-breathing, flying dragons and, of course, Peter Dinklage is now Cooperstown Mayor."

However, corporate speak aside, I absolutely DO trust brewmasters, such as Ommegang's Phil Leinhart. Why? Because brewmasters make beer. If there's a more noble job in the world - nay, the universe - you are welcome to enlighten me. Said Phil: "No one enjoys their job more than I do." (Totally buy that.) Then there was some obligatory kiss-ass corporate stuff about the cultural phenomenon of Game of Throne and creating a beer that reflected that, blah, blah, blah. That's cool - Phil's a wage-slave like the rest of us. I get currying favour. That's fine. Plus as mentioned, brewmaster - so on this end, WIDE latitude give to my man, Phil, because, well, coolest job on Earth. (Unless you actually possess three fire-breathing dragons, are amassing a huge army... and are unbelievably stunning...)

But god bless Dionysus, the Roman God Of Drinking and Fun, because Phil finished this PR clap-trap right.

"With a Lannister currently on the throne, it made sense to do a delicate but piercing Golden Blonde Ale with noble hops. Iron Throne is certainly fair in colour and soft in appearance, yet it still possesses a complexity and bit to be on guard for..."

I like horses. Height-wise, a great
equalizer. That could also be a typo
because I'm equally fond of whores...

Okay, right now, Ommegang has the Iron Throne Blonde Ale out there for public consumption. Coming this fall will be their Take The Black Stout. But as I said, I have now had their Iron Throne Blonde Ale. And? Okay, this is one interesting brew.

For starters, it's corked with a little metal twisty thing that they put on champagne bottles (I believe 'cage rib' might be the name). Never in my life have I had a corked beer. The second you pop that cork, you get hit with a fruit and spice scent to this brew. Obviously, as all beers SHOULD be, you have to pour it in a glass... but slowly. There are small traces of sediment at the bottom. This is not a kegger chug beer. Much like, say, Guinness, you are likely to end up with 2 inches of head on this bad boy. Don't panic. It settles quickly to about a quarter-inch. It's brewed as a Belgium Ale so there's gonna be some light citrus-like taste, perfect for Summer. Not a huge fan of flavoured beer but you know what? When it comes to beer, especially craft beer, try everything. The Belgium whites, with their orange and coriander are actually nice on a hot, summer patio. As a starter. Not an all-night run. That said, it's a bit toned-down for a Belgium Ale because they are trying to appeal to a mass market. And an American market to boot (although to their credit, more craft breweries in the U.S. than anywhere else.) Honest to Dionysus, this is a tasty brew.

Yeah, I'm smoking hot and I have three flying, fire-breathing
dragons. You ever met anyone else on your silly little online
dating site quite like me? Yeah, that's right... I don't think so... 

Okay, as mentioned, next up for the Ommegang... uhhh, gang? The brewery's Game of Thrones' Take The Black Stout coming out this Fall. I'm not a huge stout or porter fan but... like I said, you gotta try it all. (NOTE: this was written months ago - I officially love GOOD porters and stouts.) And through little jumps and hurdles, I am slowly becoming a fan of many beers I never thought I'd like. To my credit, though, I have always been a fan of many beers... period. So I have an edge.

Okay, quick shout-out to a few of brothers-in-crime. My New Zealand college bro, Steve, recently invited a buddy, Robert, and a couple of his lady friends crash at his Wellington man-pad for a NZ Beer Fest. They all got treated to the time of their lives... beer, fun and a repeatedly series of both huge and small earthquakes!

Seriously, why has no one killed me yet?

To catch his crazy act of generous hosting, merry pranksmanship, total "I call Shenanigans" behaviour and terribly funny tomfoolery, check his blog out: 5-foot-19

Okay, let's throw my other college buddy, Glenn, into the blog mix, as well, especially since he gave my son, David, a huge nod after winning three medals at the Provincial Special Olympics two weekends ago. You can find him here at: Shwa Stories

Dudes and dudettes, been a slice. As always. And remember, much like Games of Thrones, there may be many people who betray you in your pathetic, mortal life. But beer?? NEVER!!! Later...