Brushes with greatness

They called him Mister Hockey.  They call
me Dopey McStupidface. I think it's nice
when people find just that right nickname.
There are many people I would say I was
thrilled to meet but man, Gordie Howe??

Today's edition is about brushes with greatness. When I was but a wee Canadian lad, that meant meeting a hockey hero, hopefully from my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs. And I did meet a healthy handful of them over my formative youth. I remember, as a seven-year-old, getting my foot stomped on by a much older boy when Tim Horton showed up for a signing at an Oakville mall. My Mom was panicked that it was broken when I hobbled back to her in obvious pain, his autograph tightly clutched in my hand. It wasn't but it would have been totally worth it. Met literally dozens of NHL stars after that, including at different points, the Holy Trinity of Gordie Howe, Bobby Orr and Wayne Gretzky. Even as an adult, I was still in awe of Orr, who I consider the best ever.

Actually, back in the early-90s, a group of buddies and myself plowed into beers one afternoon with hockey legend Bobby Hull (the guy was as funny as hell, especially as the beer count rose) at some media function for the creation of the True North Hockey League. We all drank free beers from their corporate sponsor, the now-defunct Algonquin Brewery (subsequently bought out by Brick) and Hull was the league's celebrity spokesman and frankly, best drinker. By the end, he happily strolled out to his waiting ride while the rest of us were carted out in wheelbarrows and dumped on the sidewalk, awaiting garbage day pick-up.

"Here's my autograph. Now get the hell away
from me, you disgusting Canadian. I don't
want any of your politeness rubbing off..."

And then there's rock stars. Back in the early-80s, I found myself living for a half year in the Malibu area of California with a handful of buddies I had met in Banff. While that area is, of course, very posh, we lived in tents in a local state park. Southern Cali was Party Central in those days. One night, we went into a huge bar to see Iggy Pop play and in walked David Lee Roth, front-man for Van Halen at that time. While he looks like a tweedy British cricket commentator these days, at that time, he was akin to a Rock God. Women wanted to be with him (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) and guys wanted to be him... mostly because women wanted to be with him. As my back-home best bud, Dave, was also a huge fan, I flew over to get an autograph. "Can you make it 'To Dave from David Lee Roth'?" I asked. And so he did. Just as I was about to thank him, he scowled, "Now f**k off!! I don't want you to draw attention to me." Uhh, just so I have this straight. One of rock's best-known singers walks into a local bar in tight leather pants, shirt wide-open to his waist, sporting the biggest lion's mane of rock and roll hair you have ever seen... and the skinny Canadian kid is the one drawing undue attention? Rock stars are freakin' nuts. The autograph never made it back to Canada, probably lost on a sandy beach but his pleasant greeting gave me and my buddies a solid chuckle. "He swore at you? That's so cool!"

My beer writing buddy, Robert, aka Drunk
Polkaroo met up with Innocente Brewing
owner Steve Innocente during a May 1st
Craft Brewery Bus Tour. These days,
brewers are the new rock stars to us...

But time moves on, priorities shift and suddenly you find yourself in awe of a new person or group. These days, to me and many others, that's the folks who work at many of Ontario's premier craft breweries. And when I saw the list of winners at April 28th's Ontario Brewing Awards, it reminded me of how many of these breweries and their awesome people I have met over the past year or so. And that is to say nothing of the award-winning beer I have downed with alarming frequency. Hey, you gotta support your local breweries. My not-so-fat wallet and always-parched throat-hole are doing the best they can.

Right off the top when I looked at the list of award winners, I had to raise a frosty pint to Amsterdam Brewery for the most clever, made me laugh out loud name. Winning both gold and silver in the Barrel-Aged White Wine category was their Superstition and, wait for it... Maverick and Gose. As the character Goose even says in the movie Top Gun: "No, boys. There's two O's in Goose."

It was a big night for Brock Street Brewing out of Whitby as they won both Best Newcomer of the Year - they just turned one year old last month, as well as taking gold in the Dark Ale category for their Irish Red. This was a beer that I very much enjoyed at the 2016 Burlington Winter Beer Festival. Said their Director of Sales Andrew to me that night, "We really didn't have a big red in our (Durham Region) market."

When Brock Street Brewing Director of Sales
Andrew comes to a Beer Fest, he brings his trusty
mini ping-pong table with him. Do you get your
sample for free if you beat him? We're not sure.
We didn't see anyone beat him at this all night.

"So what we wanted to do was recreate a malt-forward red that's got a bit of that smoky aroma, a bit of that caramel. So it's a big hearty beer on the palate. It's got a medium to full body. Not a beer that I wanna have 50 of but definitely when I'm relaxing, I'll have two or three. I hope you enjoy it." The judges at the OBAs clearly agreed, giving them the gold and I also agree with Andrew. Stop after 49. Fifty beers is too much.

One of the first craft breweries that set up shop near Beer Bro Glenn (who lives in Oshawa) was Whitby's 5 Paddles Brewing and geezuz, did they have a night to remember! When they first opened, Glenn was lukewarm on some the fledgling brewery's offerings, mostly finding their IPAs too malty. Well, I would suggest a return visit because these guys have clearly found their feet, winning a record five awards that night! They snagged a bronze for Honey Gold Beer with their Home Sweet Home, a silver in the American Pale Ale for their In Your Face, another silver in the Imperial Stout for their Midnight Paddler, still another silver for their Sunset Paddler (anyone else sensing a paddles-after-dusk trend here?) in the Barrel Aged Red Wine and finally another for their Kingdom Sweet Kingdom (anyone else sensing a something-sweet-something theme here?) in the Belgian Style Tripel category. A remarkable haul for a brewery that's just a few years old.

Holy macaroni, this was a dynamite pale
ale. Loaded up with Galaxy, Amarillo and
Centennial hops, this is a taste-bud treat,
even at just 5.3% and a very low 34 IBUs.

How far have they come in a short time? That silver for Imperial Stout was edged out by Ontario craft brewing giant, Flying Monkeys, who took gold for their Invictus. Coming second to that Barrie Beer God Squad is like winning.

I am now also eager to try their In Your Face APA simply because it came second to Thunder Bay's Sleeping Giant Brewing's Beaver Duck APA. That beer was a gift to me when my Beer Store coworker Sassy Cassy returned from Lakehead University, bringing, as always, smuggled beers for her dear old Beer Store Dad. So far Sassy has brought me a healthy handful of this tiny brewery's beers and while I thought early on that their Coffee Vanilla Porter would always be my favourite, I had yet to try the Beaver Duck. Small wonder this took gold as it's one of the better APAs out there on par with Nickel Brook's Naughty Neighbour or Rainhard Brewing's Armed N Citra. Despite being just 5.3% and 34 IBUs (international bitterness units), you can't ignore the healthy dose of Galaxy, Amarillo and Centennial hops they've poured into the mix and give this a really nice orange and citrus aroma with little bits of sticky pine on the tongue. A first class, now gold-medal-winning pale ale.

I was no less than thrilled to see two of my Fab Four collect some hardware that night. You see, living in Burlington, my Fab Four includes Nickel Brook (Burlington), Cameron's and Trafalgar Ales and Meads (Oakville) and relative newcomer Collective Arts (Hamilton).

Crap on a cross, look what the brewers at Collective
Arts scored with their Stranger Than Fiction Porter
at the World Beer Cup competition in Philadelphia
just a few days ago! The sonuvaguns grabbed bronze
in the Robust Porter category with their delicious
Stranger than Fiction Porter. A well deserved win!

Cameron's nearly matched 5 Paddles with their four-medal night, collecting a silver in German Pilsner with their Captain's Log Lager, a silver with their Deviator Doppelbock in the Barrel Aged Whiskey, a gold in the Barrel Aged Rum with their Obsidian Imperial Porter and a bronze in the Barley Wine with their Barley Wine. But I have to put my homeboys at Cameron's on hold for the next column. Why? So far, I've only had the lager. I want to try at least two more of those winners before I can quasi-intelligently discuss those beers. (Shut up! I said "quasi" which infers "less than". Gimme a break!)

But I can talk about Collective Arts taking gold in the Porter division with their Stranger Than Fiction. Why? Because beer writer buddy Drunk Polkaroo, co-worker Jay-Dawg and myself have all had it recently and to a man, we all raved over it. Oh sure, I could go on (as I already have) about the delicious chocolate malts on the nose, the rich thick nuttiness on the tongue but I don't need to. Why? Because exactly one week after they struck OBA gold for this black magic, they collected a bronze for the same beer at the World Beer Cup competition in Philadelphia during the 2016 Craft Brewers Conference and BrewExpo America. They beat out 89 other entries from across North America in the Robust Porter category for the third and were just one of five Canadian winners on the day. Winning two medals in one week? You can't put a price-tag on that.

When the Mountain Man himself, Sean from Side
Launch, hands you a beer, you drink the damn beer.
Fortunately, their award-winning Lager was worth it.
If you look hard enough, you can see a beer in his hand.

I have a lot more OBA winners to look at next time beyond Cameron's, including wins from Thornbury Village, Niagara Brewing, StoneHammer, Creemore Springs, Big Rig Brewery, Railway City Brewing, Wellington, Outlaw Brew and of course, one of my all-time favourites, Flying Monkeys. But lemme squeeze in one more and that would Side Launch Brewing's (Collingwood) Mountain Lager. It collected a bronze in the Craft Lager division and I can attest to its crisp, clean, punchy taste and at 4.7%, its sessionable deliciousness. I had it for the first time at the Streetsville Rib Eye Jack's Ale House's Beer Fest exactly four days before its win at the OBAs. A humongous but friendly man the size of the townhouse complex across the street from me handed me one and frankly, I didn't have the balls to say no. A really solid lager and their Dark Lager, which I had on my Best of 2014 list, also collected bronze so a two-medal win night for this brewery. Nicely done, good folks.

Before I go, a public service announcement. Please don't drink and drive. And it's not just because you could hurt yourself or innocent people. It's also because there's negligent drivers out there who still text behind the wheel. And if they rear-end you, it'll still be your fault. There you go. Finally, a pragmatic reason. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Back in a couple with more OBA winners but until then, I remain...