Burlington Beer Fest, Part 3

The Flying Monkeys' booth had just the right
stuff for a young lady who wanted "something
sweet" - their Chocolate Manifesto Milk Stout!

Now let's see - where was I? Ah, yes, at the Burlington Beer Festival, held July 17-19 at the lush, green and on this weekend, very muddy Spencer Smith Park.

So let's go back to the Saturday where I was wandering the ground, trying new beers and old favourites while waiting for my Beer Store buddies, Jay and Gordo, and friend Steve to show up. (They had all worked day shifts - I had the day off.) As I wandered, I overheard a young couple (maybe 22 or so) with the lady saying to her fellow, "I want something sweet! Find me something sweet!" Sensing the lad might have been in over his head, I stepped in and offered up a suggestion. "Hey guys, two booths over is Flying Monkeys. Follow me. I think there's one you'll really like."

Despite the fact I was a complete stranger, they did exactly that (I must have used my "Dad Tone" without realizing it) and I plunked a token down on the counter and said to the server, "She'll have a Manifesto." I was careful not to say the beer's full name, which is The Chocolate Manifesto, a 10% triple milk chocolate stout. She eyed it warily - I presume it was a lot darker than she expected - so I said, "Just smell it. I won't poison you." She did and her eyes lit up. She dove right in. "Oh my gawd, this is so good!!!" (It's practically a chocolate cake in a glass.)

The lead singer for In My Coma belts out a tune on the
Friday night. As you can see, my favourite brewery
had a pretty big banner across the front of the stage...

What the young fellow didn't know was that I basically handed him a lesson he can use for the rest of his life. If your lady is feeling, well, a little irritable, give her chocolate as quickly as possible. It increases the rate that tryptophan enters the brain, which, in turn, increases the level of serotonin that near-instantly creates a warm, fuzzy feeling, especially in women. And at 10%, I bet she was even warmer and fuzzier after that, especially if she had a couple more. There you go - don't say I never taught you anything. "You two have a great time," I smiled before wandering off. "Thank you!" she yelled as I got further away, "I love you!" Thank you, honey, but that's the serotonin talkin' - you love chocolate, not me. Appreciate the sentiment nonetheless, though.

Finally Jay and Steve showed up. Now Jay's actual name is Jason Lee, just like the "My Name Is Earl" actor. So we just call him Jay... unless I feel like that's too long. Then I just call him J. And Jay's friend Steve, well, he was our host for the big Mayweather vs Pacquiao fight out of the MGM Grand in Las Vegas at the beginning of May. We watched that cuddle-fest on the largest HD screen I have ever seen in my life. Honestly, I felt like I had a better view of that fight than the referee.

The Sawdust City Brewing booth was a must-stop
for my buddy Jay as I knew he would love their
Golden Beach Pale Wheat and he certainly did!

"Where's Gordo?" I asked. "Well, he picked us up on his way home from work, we had a beer at his place (an apartment directly across the street from the park) and he's just cleaning up before he comes over," Jay said. I instantly panicked. "Text him now and tell him not to wear capri pants!" One time, a bunch of Beer Store employees got together at Joe Dogs, a bar near Gord's and when he showed up, he was wearing capri pants, I kid you not. "What the actual eff, dude?" I barked. "Who are you? Mary Tyler Moore on The Dick Van Dyke Show??" (For the record, she wore it better than Gordo.) "What?" he said. "Guys wear these now!" "Where?" I retorted, "In prison?" So Jay texted him and Gordo showed up not in capri pants, which I actually suspect he threw out after all the razzing.

"Okay, Donny, where are we starting?" Jay asked. Well, there were two I had in mind for the boys instantly. First up, the Longslice Brewing's Hopsta La Vista IPA. Mindful of the fact that the guys don't like more than one of anything too hoppy (I'm the polar opposite - all hops, all day, bring it), I suspected the strong malt backbone of the Hopsta La Vista would be enough to counter the hoppiness of the 6.5%, 69 IBU (international bitterness units) bomb-blast of a beer. And it was. "This is great! It's hoppy and malty all at the same time!" Jay enthused. Steve loved it too but it was a bit much for Gordo, our resident Coors Light/Molson Canadian drinker. (That's fine - to each their own, right?)

That's right - we certainly do! That's two
straight years of an excellent Beer Festival!

So next up was something a little milder for Gordo - the Sawdust City Golden Beach Pale Wheat (although, to be honest, I still didn't know it was a wheat at this point.) With its light citrus on the nose and smooth grapefruit and pine on the tongue, I knew this 5% beer would a better fit for Gordo. And it was. He and Steve both really enjoyed it. Jay's reaction was a little different, a touch more emphatic. "Donny, I want to drive to Gravenhurst right now, buy a case of this beer and sit on a patio all day drinking it!! And then have three more cases in reserve!!" He still talks about that road trip now so let's assume he was serious. So buckle up, Sawdust City, the Jay And Donny Show is coming your way soon because if he's going, I'm going! Someone has to chaperone... me.

All four of us really enjoyed their Gateway Kolsch lagered-ale, as well. As a lager drinker, it was perfect for Gordo, Steve called it "refreshing" while Jay simply declared, "Do these guys even make a bad beer?" (No, they do not.) Slightly grainy on the nose, smooth pilsnery finish on the tongue - a really great summer beer and one that crossed paths for four very different beer drinkers.  Feeling empowered by his success thus far at the Sawdust City booth, Jay gamely tried their Lone Pine IPA and still came away happy. "It's got some nice fruitiness to it," he noted. "As long as I had some Golden Beach to go with it, I'd be great!"

My main man, Brian Will, the territory
manager for all those tasty Double Trouble
Brewing beers that are in my Beer Store

Just a quick sidenote before we get to our next booth: my old high school buddy, Dennis, has a cottage in Gravenhurst and when he was up there a couple of weeks back, he asked on my Facebook wall, "There's a brewery up here called Sawdust City. To quote The Clash, should I stay or should I go?" My response was something to the effect of "Go! Go now! Go quickly! Why are you still sitting there, reading this?" Well, Dennis went and is still enjoying their beers at his Burlington home, as we speak. Sounds like after sampling them, Dennis stocked up hard. Good on ya, mate!

Okay, the next booth may as well have been called Beer Store Heaven as we found the Double Trouble Brewing booth, manned by none other than Brian Will, the territory manager for North American Craft, which handles all the brewery's beers for LCBOs and Beer Stores in our area (though I'm not sure how large that area is.) Well, knowing us all, Brian basically declared it the "Beer Store Workers Drink For Free Hour" at his booth, refusing to take our tokens. (Actually, Steve works in Marketing and that's kind of what Brian does so there's a kinship.) Gordo happily piled into their Prison Break Pilsner, a big favourite of his while Jay immediately went for his sweetheart, their tasty Fire in the Rye Ale, a 6.1%, 60 IBU specialty grain beer that uses roasted rye malts for a tangy treat. Honestly, I think Steve was just bouncing from beer to beer, trying them all with a big-ass smile on his face because, well, free beer.

You sexy bastard, do you know how long I've
waited for you? No, I don't mean Double Trouble
co-founder Nathan (although I'm sure he's very
nice.) I mean that Revenge of the Ginger Kickin'
Ginger IPA and I finally had it at the Beer Fest!

Okay, as a Beer Store employee, Double Trouble has done me a huge service by making their Hops and Robbers IPA and here's why. If a mainstream-beer-drinking customer asks me for something with a little more punch (and they always say "hoppy" even if they don't know what that means), I will instantly steer them towards a Hops and Robbers. At 5.7% and only 55 IBUs, it's not gonna blow the top off anyone's head. It's nice, it's sessionable and if it turns out that they can handle that, only then I will steer them into Mad Tom or Smashbomb Atomic territory. But I was thrilled to finally see their Revenge of the Ginger (a nod to co-founder Nathan) Kickin' Ginger IPA in Brian's ice bucket! Billed as a "spice beer", this has a unique style to it. Obviously, ginger (almost ginger ale) on the nose, more ginger, a little spice, a little caramel on the tongue. While at 6.2% and (I'm guessing) 60 IBUs, it's a bit of a stretch calling this an IPA but I wouldn't hesitate in calling this a nicely-spiced pale ale. Regardless, what's in a name? A rose by any other name would... uh, Shakespeare, something, something.
So while Sawdust City was Jay's favourite tent and mine was Longslice Brewing, it's safe to say the Double Trouble booth was definitely the one we had the most fun hanging at. Great job, guys, and welcome back to Burlington any time!

Yes, I recognize that this is the third straight blog that I
have included a picture of Batman at the Burlington
Beer Festival so I will just say it in my calm quiet voice:
WAS BATMAN AT YOUR BEER FEST? WAS HE???

Now since I started about three hours earlier than the boys and as late-comers to the ball, they were drinking at a rapid pace, I soon found myself in that position where I was telling myself, "I'm fine, I'm good, I'm fine. I'm good..." and then suddenly, it's like, "Whoa, did gravity just increase by like 12 times???" So I did what I usually do - just cleared out without a word to anyone. My long-time friends actually have a word for it: phantomed. As in, "Where's Donny?" "Haven't seen him in 25 minutes - guess he phantomed again." The reason I phantom is simply this. If I know it's time to go, I just go because if I tell anyone I'm leaving, there's always those guys who will try to talk you into "just one more." Gordo is the King of Just One More.

Now in truth, I'm not finished with this yet so it looks like there will be a Part 4 to this tomorrow, including the events of Sunday, Muddy Sunday and the Great Coaster War of 2015. So in answer to the question: How much can one man write about a three-day Beer Festival, the answer is apparently "too much." But guys and dolls, that's it, that all and I am outta here! Until tomorrow with the finale, Burlington Beer Festival, Part 4, I remain as always...