Putting Burlington on the map

Wayne Brown, who co-chairs the
Burlington Beer Festivals with Scott
Robinson and a handful of eager
volunteers, told me he is pumped for
Summer 2015 version, saying some 30
breweries had already committed to it.

For a gentleman I had never met before, I have seen a lot of Wayne Brown recently, having crossed paths with him here in Burlington three times in the span of one week recently. (Unfortunately for the poor fellow, that also means he's seen his fill of me for the next little while, I suspect.) But you know what? I'm not one who's prone to chronological order so let's start with the second time I met Wayne in that seven days in early to mid-February because the first time is the punchline.

The second time I met Wayne was a very frigid Friday night outside Rib Eye Jack's Ale House a couple of weeks back. Like an idiot, I was outside in the cold night, having a smoke (that's the idiot part) while he was leaving. Of course, I was nowhere near the 15-metres (50 feet) that Ontario law dictates you are supposed to be from the door. More like 10 feet. It's Canada, it's Winter... it's not like anyone is gonna come out. Except that Wayne did. He was walking out to his car but looked at me, stopped cold and said he had seen me at the Burlington Winter Craft Beer Festival the previous weekend. Uh-oh. Truth to tell, Beer Musketeer Glenn and I attended the Festival and well, as previously mentioned, we got a head-start with some heavy duty beer before we even arrived. So Wayne says, "I met you when you having a hot-buttered stout last weekend." That would be the Turtle Island Brewing's Ixcacao Triple Chocolate Stout mixed with hot butter melted by a crockpot. It was freakin' phenomenal. It was also my last beer of the night. Back to the reason for that in a minute.

Well, if you take the Burlington Winter Craft
Beer Festival into account, they're both in the
same direction. The arrows mean tasty goodness.
Except that this bar sign is clearly in Germany.

So obviously we start talking Burlington Beer Festival and I tell him how much I enjoyed the three-day inaugural Summer Fest, even though I went on the Saturday and it was dumping down rain like Monsoon Season in Thailand. (Neither Beer Musketeer Cat and I much cared... we were there for the beer, not the weather. The trick is to beating nature is to create an equilibrium whereby you make your insides as liquid-soaked as your outsides. Thus your body reaches equal inner and outer saturation. Don't argue - it's Science. Physiology 101, class.) It becomes obvious, after he tells me his name, that he was one of the organizers. He happily tells me they have already locked down 30 breweries for the 2015 Summer Beer Fest, quite a jump from the 22 they had in 2014. And let's face it - I'll wager more are gonna sign on. If anyone's in a betting mood, I say they pull closer to 40 craft brewers for the next Summer Craft Beer Fest slated for July 17-19. After we chatted for a bit and I edged closer to hypothermia, he went on his merry way while I scurried back to the bar's warmth.

The third time we met, the very next night, also my birthday, again at Rib Eye Jack's, he showed his smooth-talking Silver Fox side when he met my pretty date and quipped, "So I see you brought your daughter." But beyond that, he came to my table to say tickets were being printed up soon for the Summer Fest and we talked about that some more. Exactly a week after their first-ever Winter Festival and you could clearly see he was already stroked for the next Summer one.

Since it was established in 2014, this remains the one
Beer Festival to which I can say, "Yeah, I've been to
ALL OF THEM so far." Quite a feather in my cap...

What can I say? I dig that kind of enthusiasm from the guy organizing a major Craft Beer Festival, held in Spencer Smith Park, which is ever-so-conveniently located at the bottom of the street on which I happen to live. The Winter Craft Beer Festival? In the hotel next to that same park. Now granted, they don't know where I live but to me, it was almost like, "Hey, where can we hold these Beer Fests so that Don can get in a cab, point up the street and simply say, 'Drive for 11 minutes and 37 seconds, including traffic lights. Then stop!'"

Which, in my usual roundabout way, takes us to the first time I met Wayne. That would be at the Winter Beer Fest where he nicely approached Glenn and myself after we drank that hot-buttered stout (believe me, the last of many before it) and suggested that, hey, maybe that very cab ride would be a tip-top idea. Realizing that, when he told me a week later, I stumbled to apologize but he waved it off. "You guys were great," he noted. "Thanked us and left as happy as could be. We had some guys that got, well, a little argumentative about it."

Vendors jammed the lakefront for the Friday night of the inaugural Burlington
Beer Festival last July. Granted, we went on the Soggy Saturday but hey, you
can't pick your weather. That said, you can pick your tasty tasty craft beers!!

So how did the organizing of the Burlington Beer Festival land in Wayne's lap? Well, Brown, a true lover of craft beers, was already known in the community for organizing a handful of smaller-scale charity events and was actually approached by the city to create yet another for Spencer Smith Park to hold between the annual Sound of Music Festival, held every Father's Day weekend (one of the biggest free music festivals in North America) and the Rib Fest, held every Labour Day weekend, again another event with notoriety across North America. In the end, he and co-founder Scott Robinson decided a craft beer festival was long overdue for the city and off they went. I would say I'm as jazzed for the upcoming Summer one as he is ("We have some great music," he promises) but well, that's not possible. Thanks to Wayne and his happy crew, Summers in my city just got a whole lot better.

Steve Innocente, father of four, master of yeast and
now craft brewer, raises a glass of his fine brew...

Okay, the clock on the wall at Donny's Bar and Grill says, "Hey, numbnuts, it's Beer O'Clock... start typing." (Shut the hell up, clock, you can be replaced!) I first heard of Innocente Brewing's beers at Rib Eye Jack's when Beer Technician Kylie plunked their Conscience IPA in front of me one Thursday night. The following week, she upped the ante with their Guilty Conscience Double IPA. Seeing the name, I instantly thought the brewery was based in Quebec. It's not. It based in Waterloo. In fact, "innocent" in French is spelled exactly the same way although as it turns out, "innocente" is the French female version of a naive person. No, it's simpler than that - as always - as the brewery was created by Steve Innocente, a former cancer researcher turned craft brewer. According to an article in his local paper as well as the brewery's website, Innocente spent two decades studying protein and yeast cells in his research. Along the way, he became, well, pretty damn clever about yeast and its application in his home brewing. At that point, a decade ago, his and his family were in Scotland as he studied at the University of Edinburgh. Fast forward to 2012 when Innocente entered two of his home brews into the Scottish Craft Brewers Competition and wouldn't you know it, he walked away with Best In Show for what would eventually become his 4.7%, 50 IBU (international bitterness units) Bystander Pale Ale.

Innocente brewer Devin keeps a close eye of dozens of
their Evil Conscience Black IPA at the brewery, Sorry
about your luck, man, because I got one of them anyway...

Eventually, the clan came back to Canada where Steve realized his dream of opening a craft brewery in Waterloo last Summer. And the hop-crazy Innocente is cranking them out old school. So it was, that an Evil Conscience Black IPA landed in front of me when I asked Kylie what was new. She knows how to shut me up quickly - just put a new beer in front of me, I instantly go to my Happy Place involving palm trees on the beach and hula girls serving me craft beers in coconut bras. It's a win-win for everyone... okay, maybe not the imaginary hula girls. Okay, whereas the Conscience and Guilty Conscience both had the nose of gym socks (though both tasted great), the 6.1%, 65 IBU Evil Conscience was all licorice on the nose, mostly licorice and all bitter on the tongue. A strong brew, the best one so far from this new brewery though well, I am now Jones-ing for the Bystander.

As luck would have it, I got a chance to compare it to another Black IPA shortly afterwards as I had a bottle of Beavertown Black Betty Black IPA, directly from the London, England brewery in my fridge. I spoil my fridge so it can, in turn, spoil me. Our relationship is complicated, complex yet beautiful.

So if you drink Black Betty Black IPA, you become a
skeleton? Because I actually gained a few pounds...

Where the Black Betty dials down the bitterness a touch at 60 IBUs, it pumps up the jam with its 7.4% ABV. However, on the strength of its Magnum, Columbus, Chinook and Citra hops, Black Betty does deliver that ♫ Sham bah lam ♫
No licorice here, this was all pineapple on the nose (something you truly do not expect with a jet-black beer) with both grapefruit and coffee (exactly what you do expect from a black beer) on the tongue. No idea if they have to pay the group Ram Jam for the rights to the name of their 1977 classic (but one-hit wonder) tune but let's face it, if I named a beer, oh say, "Come On Eileen", I would laugh in the faces of Dexys Midnight Runners if they came after me for more than pocket change. Actually, I'd laugh in the faces of Dexys Midnight Runners even if I didn't brew that beer and they simply introduced themselves. I suspect women named Eileen back in 1982 had even more reason not to like the song. Just a guess. All that aside, one of the better Black IPAs I've tried...

Hmmm, skeletons seem to be a theme here.
Although this one has a helmet on and appears
to be riding a bicycle? No matter, a great beer

Okay, one more before the typing stops and the always-classy beer tasting at Donny's Bar and Grill begins. Cat's home brewery, Amsterdam, recently bottled their Cruiser All Day Pale Ale and at 4.9% and 39 IBUs, this new release (two months old, tops) could be another great sessionable pale ale. Well, I got the opportunity to try it in two very different formats - first out of the bottle (twice - yes, I went back for seconds because you can never be too careful) and then a week later as Rib Eye Jack's Thursday night mini-cask - same great taste with next to no carbonation. Totally citrus on the nose, some punchy grapefruit on the tongue, I think the gals and pals at Amsterdam have a winner here. Start kegging this up, kids, and get it to bars in time for Summer. This is a true patio beer with a bit of oomph.

Well, if there's one thing I can't stand when I've had too many brews, it's "up". And truth to tell, I have a huge backlog of recently-tasted beers to talk about but it turns out today was more of a story-telling day, instead. You gotta rock the canoe for shits and giggles every once in a while. I'd like to thank Ram Jam and Dexys Midnight Runners for being my musical guests today. Also this marks my 100th Brew Ha Ha so if you see me, buy me a beer. Or three. If you don't see me, don't buy me a beer. It's ridiculously easy when you think about it. This would be the time to avoid me at all costs. But guys and dolls, that's it, that all and I am outta here!!! Until next time, I remain...