Speakeasy, Naughty Neighbour and more

My buddy, Lloyd, takes a beer break between songs.
Knowing that drummers can lose up to 37 pounds per
gig (I completely made that up) so Lloyd was wise to
replenish his electrolytes with tasty, healthy beer!

So I went out to drink on Robbie Burns Day on January 24th... and a concert broke out. That said, I knew my favourite local classic rock cover band, Speakeasy, was playing but it took a while to get in because the Burlington bar, The Purple Heather, was holding a tickets-only Robbie Burns Dinner first. The door wasn't opened to general public riff-raff and no-good-niks like me until 10 p.m. Well, that's a smart bar policy on any day on the year ("No Redmonds Until After 10 p.m, And We Will Watch You Like A Hawk), the fact is I learned a couple of things about The Purple Heather, a bar I have been to once before on St Patrick's Day about five years ago. Being half-Scottish and half-Irish, I honestly believe both those two days are legit reasons for me to drink. The other 363 days of the year? I make reasons up. They don't even have to be good reasons. "Hey, I didn't sneeze or shart today! Let's party!"

But two new aspects to The Purple Heather, as I said. Number one and most importantly, they now have my beloved Nickel Brook Naughty Neighbour American Pale Ale on tap, nestled deep within the mainstream brew taps. I was thrilled. This is a punchy little pale ale that makes for a great draft beer for the evening. To emphasize this, I had a great many of them... just to make sure the quality maintained its consistency. (It did.)

Speakeasy lead singer Kristine hit that tambourine so
hard, it became a blur to even the sharpest of cameras.
Bass player Kevin Pownall, right, laying down the beat.

But the second aspect surprised me the most. Five years ago, when I did my St Paddy's foray, it turned out I knew the owner. While I was there, a nice lady named Sarah looked at me and said, "Don?" Oh yeah, when I worked at a large newspaper chain many moons ago, Sarah was, in fact, the group's HR Director. So, ummm, yeah, we were well acquainted. She had a wooden chair in her office that I carved my initials in while waiting for her to come in yet again and tell me how they had to add a new policy to the books just because of my actions. Frankly, I think air-horns are perfectly suitable way to get the attention of others in a confined space... but it turns out the hyper-sensitive don't like that... or anyone with normal hearing. (The selective hearing I created as a youth with my parents has somehow carried on in later life. "Did I just burp?") Anyway, Sarah had gotten out of the HR game and with her hubby, owned The Purple Heather at that time.

But now? Well, ownership has changed. As it turns out, a friendly man-mountain named Doug Birrell has owned it since May 2013. I have met Doug once before as he is the former roommate and close buddy of my former brother-in-law Craig (we were married - no longer - to sisters more than a decade ago.) Doug is one of those huge dudes whose hand-shake is like a vice-grip and your first question is always, "So who did you play football for?"

Guitarist Stewart was his usual guns-out force on the
guitar, nailing riffs from Guns & Roses to Led Zeppelin

Don't know much about Doug but the fact that he's one of Craig's best friends tell me all I need to know. He must be a stand-up guy so I'll be back to The Purple Heather many times because you always wanna support stand-up guys who, A) own a local bar and B) serve an outstanding Nickel Brook product on tap. (Psssst, Doug, get their Headstock IPA on tap and I'll never leave... even if you play Semisonic's "Closing Time." Granted, not to worry - you could literally pick me up with one hand and throw me 50 feet. Probably more.)

But back to Speakeasy? Oh hell, they kicked ass. They always do and this gig was one of the closest they've had to me. Lloyd's lovely lady Vicky drove a few of us there, not realizing I was gunning down a Red Racer IPA road warrior in the back seat on the way there. She realized I was when she turned around to park. "Did you drink that on the way here?" she asked - it was a 10-minute drive. I wasn't sure if I was in trouble but said, yup. Let's assume the high-five told me she was cool with it. Lloyd always looks both so serious but also like he's having the time-of-his-life behind the kit. Singer Kristine nailed every note as she always does. The boys were tight. Great night!!!

My guys at Oshawa's Underdog Brewing posted
this pic on Twitter on February 2, Groundhog
Day, and noted that since their draft-tap boxer
Cornelius saw his shadow, there were be
another six weeks of free outdoor refrigeration
for their beer in Canada. Probably longer...

Okay, just throwing this out there but maybe you can learn from a mistake I've made and realize that "Harder!" is a really seriously piss-poor choice for a "safe word", the clock on the wall tells me it's Beer O'Clock at Brew Ha Ha!

Okay, Beer Musketeer Glenn always keeps me on my toes with his new finds, which he is great about sharing, so here's a couple he laid on me recently. First up is the Ballast Point Brewing (San Diego) Grapefruit Sculpin. When he told me about it, I said flatly, "Dude, that sounds like a facking radler!", meaning one of those horrid, grapefruit juice-lager combos that usually clock in at 2.5%. Glenn said, no, it's an IPA, honest! I scoffed until he brought me a bottle after one of his illicit hour-long forays into the USA when he smuggles up the good stuff. One of these days, I will get a phone-call from Glenn as he's being shipped to Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp, asking if I can pony up his bail but in the meanwhile, each trip comes with a progressively funnier story of how the border guards stopped him... and continually fail to find anything!!! It's staggering. He's almost like Walter White - what he's doing is very illegal but you cheer for him anyway! But dammit, he was right about the Grapefruit Sculpin - that's an IPA and a really good one. Grapefruit (duh) and pine of the nose, all grapefruit on the tongue, this 7% throat-slammer was a bomb-blast of a brew. Maybe not the 100 score it got on Rate Beer (high-90s would be fair) but certainly worthy of knocking boots with some of the best.

On Robbie Burns Day, Great Lakes Brewery has a fresh
batch of their award-winning Karma Citra IPA on sale that
morning at 10 a.m. I followed both the brewery and beer
purchasers that day on Twitter. Sold out in 35 minutes!

However, next up from Glenn??? Straight from Brasserie Rochefort in Rochefort, Belgium was a Trappistes Rochesfort 10, one of the most pungent quadrupels I've had yet. On the nose, very wine-like and high propane (alcohol), this 11.3% Belgie is a sipper as you get some plum, prune, raisin and, well, other wine qualities on the tongue. Strong-tasting... but really good. You couldn't drink many (well, without losing consciousness) but one of the best Belgies yet.

Okay, I will admit I have been keeping my eye open quite some time for Hogsback Brewery's (Ottawa) Aporkalypse Now Oatmeal Bacon Stout in Southern Ontario for quite some time. Why? No time for breakfast? Why not this? Oatmeal, bacon... throw in a pancake and some coffee and voila, breakfast in a bottle. We sell Hogsback's Vintage Lager at my Beer Store and it's maybe the best non-amber or dark lager out there. So yeah, I wanted me some Aporkalypse Now big-time and the sooner, the better. One day, it showed in a product search for a liquor store near my Mom's... she needed me to shovel the driveway... do the Math. Now naturally, I would have to get one for my co-worker Marie, a foodie who would make bacon angel-food cake if she could figure out how. (That sound you hear is Marie's brain trying to figure out that recipe. The *ding!* you just heard? Her, figuring it out...)

Hey now, that is one cool label!  HogsBack Aporkalypse
Now Oatmeal Bacon Stout is like breakfast in a bottle...

The commercial description says the beer has a unique infusion of Ottawa Valley heritage-raised "Pork of Yore" fine bacon in the mix, saying it uses 13 kilograms (29 pounds) of said bacon for every 780 litres (172 gallons) of 5.3% brew made. Marie has her doubts, recalling the smoked barley we sampled at the Beer Academy early last year which smelled exactly like bacon. I actually checked RateBeer to see what reviewers got bacon from this because I certainly didn't... but a few did. That said, a solid outing for a lighter stout. Though a bit thin, there was a certain smokiness on the nose, it was roasted malt and light chocolate on the tongue. Both Marie and I enjoyed it though she used about half of it in a recipe as she is wont to do. (The Julia Child School of Cooking - get hammered while you bake.)

Okay, want a heavy-duty stout? That would be Beau's All-Natural Brewing's (Vankleek Hill, Ontario) The Bottle Imp Russian Imperial Stout. The name comes from Robert Louis Stevenson story of risking eternal damnation of the soul to have everything on Earth that the heart desires. Uhhh, Beau's, calm the hell down. That's beer. You're covered. So what do we have here in this "impish bottle"?

The cartoon on the Great Lakes Brewery's Pompous
Ass English Pale Ale actually has a name - Sir
Fuggled Doublebottom. Great beer name with a
great cartoon character name on top of that. Nice!

Well now, this 9% stout is certainly made for the Winter months. The alcohol is completely masked (good sign for a high-alcohol beer though let's face it, that's much easier with stouts), the nose is all coffee with roasted malt and chocolate on the tongue. What surprised me, though, was that through the use of all-organic Fuggles and Pacific Gem hops, this stout is actually listed at 81 IBUs (international bitterness units) which would be on the high side for an IPA. Like the alcohol, I found the hoppiness muted, as well, but again easier for a stout. Rich, decadent and delicious!

Okay, let's finish this off with Great Lakes Brewery's (Etobicoke) Pompous Ass English Pale Ale. Gotta be honest - when I see the word "English" in front of "pale ale", I panic a little. I love the North American style hoppier pale ales over the malty British ones. So imagine my surprise when this session pale ale (4.2%) actually packed a little power in its punch. Pouring quite dark, it has some burnt malt on the nose (very British) with light grapefruit and surprising bitterness (hello, American West Coast) on the tongue. A dandy little combination of two distinct styles. Take a bow, GLB, as you continue to impress! I honestly believe these guys will be the Toronto craft brewery of record soon enough.

Okay, just like nothing says, "I've given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast meal, it's time for me to pack this in, too. Coming up, I recently abandoned my beloved flip-phone for a Smart Phone and the Burlington Beer Craft Beer Festival this Saturday. The Beer Fest was, by far, the easier decision. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! Until next time, I remain...