Rib Eye Jack's Ale House? Oh hellz yeah!

Co-worker Marie made me an offer I couldn't refuse. Her beau, Ernie, was
having his birthday celebrated at Rib Eye Jack's Ale House in Burlington.
Her offer? "Hey, come meet us at Rib Eye Jack's!" Who says no to that?

As William Shakespeare once famously wrote: "Forsooth, methinks the Beer Musketeers shall have some ale-ridden fun for when next they visit doth Town of Burling." Oh, maybe literary historians will dispute that Shakespeare ever said anything remotely like that and to them, I just say this. Prove it. The dude wrote 38 plays, 154 sonnets, as well as various and sundry other scriblings with his feathered quill. Pour through them all and prove to me he never wrote that! Put up or shut up, eggheads.

Birthday Boy Ernie, left, and his Dad, John, enjoy the
sparklers the staff at Rib Eye Jack's put in his dessert to
celebrate this auspicious occasion. Also, there was beer.

Now that we've send the Literary Geeks on a wild goose chase, it's time for the Beer Geeks to chat at the Big People Table. (Shakespeare probably never said any of that. Truth to tell, I have no idea what the dude was saying. The English language was pretty messed up back in the 1500s. Phrases like "forsooth", "verily" and "whatevs.") Last Thursday, my Beer Store co-worker Marie made me a pretty smokin' offer. No, it wasn't that - it was way better than that!!! Her beau and my bro, Ernie, was celebrating his birthday at Rib Eye Jack's Ale House in Burlington and she invited coworker Gordo and myself to join in the festivities after we were done with our shifts. Sounded good to me - Rib Eye Jack's has been in my periphery for over a year now. Actually, it's been in my direct line of vision that I often pass it on the way home from work, settled in just east of the Walker's Line and Harvester intersection here in Burlington. But I've been meaning to stop in because I had heard they sold an impressive selection of craft beers so I figured, "Hey, maybe they have close to 50 or so and there's a couple I haven't tried."

Uhhhh, no... not even close. While we were still working, Marie, already there with the group, sent me a text saying, "There are 200 different craft beers here!" Holy crap, it was on like Donkey Kong!

Rib Eye Jack's "Beer Technician" Kylie holds up a Nickel Brook
Brewing Old Kentucky Bastard Bourbon-Barrel-Aged Imperial
Stout while the restaurant's Head Chef Michael looks on...

When we arrived, the group had long finished the birthday celebrations and were settling into the post-festivities around a large table. Scooting to the bar, Gordo, ever the doofus, taunted me by wondering aloud, "I wonder if they have Coors Light?" The restaurant, in fact, does stock it, putting it on their Beginner's Menu with the likes of non-alcoholic Beck's. That said, I think that's a good call on the restaurant's part, having a handful of mainstream beers available. I saw a group of 15 in a side-room, perhaps having an early Christmas Party and let's face it, the odds of them all being craft beer drinkers is low to nil. A clever restaurant, like a smart brewery, makes sure it has something for everyone. They even have two gluten-free beers on their diet menu although frankly, I think you should be forced to explain what gluten is before you're allowed to complain about it.

Suspecting that I would drag him into the washroom and give him a serious-ass swirly, Gordo opted instead for a Steam Whistle Pilsner - a solid choice and actually one he quite enjoys. It was a little trickier for me, having 200 beers to choose from. In the end, I settled for a 500-ml bottle of Bellwoods Brewery's Witchshark Imperial IPA, a beer I last enjoyed on February 15th when Beer Musketeers Glenn, Cat and myself invaded the tiny Toronto brewery to celebrate my Valentine's Day birthday, as well as to toast Musketeer Stevil St Evil, celebrating his birthday on the 15th. (Given the time difference and that pesky thing known as the International Date Line, we actually both celebrate the same day as our Tuesday is his Wednesday.) And truth to tell, I enjoyed Witchshark IIPA for a couple of days afterwards. When we left the brewpub on that frigid day, we stopped into their retail component to buy some of their best. I got a Mixed-12 Pack, eight of which were the outstanding Witchshark IIPA.

Kylie dressed up as the girl on the label
of Nickel Brook's Naughty Neighbour
American Pale Ale this past Halloween

But it was Gordo who noticed the name-tag of our server, Kylie, also had the designation "Beer Technician". Asking her what that meant, she smiled and noted that it meant she was well-versed on all the beers they served. Gordo heard a direct answer to his question. I, on the other hand, heard a challenge.

So she and I started talking craft beer. Holy crap, this young lady, likely in her early 20s, knew her stuff... and then some. After comparing notes on nearly every Canadian craft beer I could think of, we went south of the border and started talking some of America's finest craft brews. I dare say she has probably had twice as many as me (which is considerable in and of itself) and like many women, has one of those photographic memories whereby she could rattle off all of their unique tastes. (As a hapless male, I have to take notes.) I'm no beer expert, more of an Uber-Enthusiastic Beer Geek. That said, I have spread that same enthusiasm far and wide, having tried dozens and dozens of craft's best over the last long stretch. In fact, my measurement of making sure I have enough craft beer at home is putting it all into the passenger seat until the "airbag enabled" light goes on because the car believes based on the weight, a human being is sitting there. And probably a human male that buys suits at the Big And Tall Store. But calling Kylie a "Beer Technician"? Uhhh, I'm gonna say she is probably a lot closer to a beer expert than I'll ever be. What a smart young lady - and about beer, too, so big bonus points for that!

You can create your own paddle for a few extra bucks but
here's the Rib Eye Jack's "house paddle" featuring, from
left, Mill Street Organic Lager, Nickel Brook Naughty
Neighbour APA and Mill Street Cobblestone Stout...

At some point, Gordo pointed out that I write a beer blog. Her ears perked up, asking the name. So I told her and added that I had recently used a picture of one of their waitresses on Halloween, dressed up as the model on the Nickel Brook Brewing's Naughty Neighbourhood American Pale Ale in this space.

She laughed out loud and slowly raised her hand. That was her. Turns out even though she doesn't know this blog at all, Kylie's been in it. Holy crap, you know how they say it's a small world? Yeah, I never say that because the Earth weighs 6.5 sextillion tons. No idea what a sextillion is but I'm guessing it's like a smokin' hot bunch of billions just from the name. Sexy sexy billions...

To my American friends, Happy Thanksgiving Day
today! We already had ours in Canada a month
ago. Try the turkey - it was pretty damn good. And
remember, just because Charles Manson is married
and you're not, it doesn't make you a loser! Despite
what your family tries to tell you on Thanksgiving!

Okay, I have only begun to scratch the surface of Rib Eye Jack's Ale House here so I'll be back in a couple of days to continue as we investigate their staggering beer selection (seriously, I haven't seen any Toronto bar with this many selections), what awesome food came out of their kitchen under the watchful eye of Head Chef Michael Stauffer as reviewed by the Ultimate Foodies Marie and Ernie, the ultimate Rib Eye Jack's Paddle, what Kylie served us from the mini-cask (we landed there on Cask Thursday - excuse while I yank the horseshoe outta my butt because it's making it difficult to sit and write this), why you'd go for the beer but stay to watch the hockey game in the guys' washroom, what Nickel Brook Brewmaster Ryan drinks when he pops in and much much more about this newly-discovered "now my favourite bar ever!". Also how Beer Musketeers Cat and Glenn, as well as Marie, Ernie and myself all plan to land there very soon for our own Mini Craft Beer Festival ... mostly because the Canadian Emergency Haz-Mat team is continuing to deal with the aftermath on the patio at Donny's Bar and Grill after the October Craft Beer Festival at my casa. They continue to clean up as toxic substances that remain unidentified for the human species are still being found.

Good news for stout lovers! Nickle Brook Brewery's outstanding Bolshevik
Bastard Imperial Stout, which clocks in at 9% and 70 IBUs (international
bitterness units) is now available at select liquor stores in its new 4-Pack!

So Rib Eye Jack's, Part Duh coming this weekend, starting with its history in my corner of the woods (there's a second one in nearby Streetsville) and continuing with a huge bunch of beer reviews, including a couple from our British friends at Fuller's Brewing that just landed in my store, how my Growler Collection continues to grow like vine up an MIT dormitory wall, three unanswered questions from Glenn actually get answered and much more. Oh, and if you don't believe me about Rib Eye Jack's massive beer selection you may just wanna click on this link right here called: Told You It Was Massive!!! And that's just the printed menu. Marie and I were scanning their website there, courtesy of the restaurant's free Wifi and found a whole bunch more that aren't even on here.

But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! Until next time, I remain, as always...