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| "Stupid laptop!!! Work already!!!" This is me... once again... |
Once again, my craptastic laptop has pooched out on me. I bought this Folding Horror of Hard Drive Hell at a Boxing Day Sale at Best Buy on January 3 after trashing my trusty five-year-old Toshiba two days prior with a wayward bottle of Flying Monkeys' Smashbomb Atomic IPA. Turns out just because you write a beer blog and enjoy copious amounts of craft beers, it does not mean your keyboard is equally eager to imbibe, as well. My crappy Asus has now vacationed with the Geek Squad for, I believe, the sixth time. I have instructed the fellows at Geek Squad to leave the repair stickers on the top as proof of its mechanical incompetence. My first two laptops lasted me five years each - this one can barely go two months without kakking out on me. If you asked me which has recently caused me more disdain and anger - ISUS or Asus - trust me, it's a dead heat.
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| This is how bad I've become. If I see a pretty woman drinking a beer, my first thought now is, "Hmmm, I wonder what kind of beer that is??" |
But when my laptop fries, everyone always says the same thing. "Too much porn." (Uhhh, no. In actual fact, it's a hard drive operational malfunction. Again. That thing is Norton-ed up the wazoo.) And frankly, porn holds little interest for me these days as 99.9% of the sites I visit these days involve craft beer. The other 0.1% is me paying bills... so I can afford to go buy more craft beer. The problem with porn is there's not enough exposition. Yeah, sure, she's a "College Girl Having Her First Threesome" but really, what does that tell us? What's her major? What's her dream job? Is she truly prepared to make her mark in the work force? Where did that pizza delivery guy come from? There's a reason these things never win Academy Awards. Their plot-lines are pathetically thin. Also the skeevy guy with the ponytail would never own a house that nice. I have one single buddy whose HD-TV's picture is so clear, he says you can see their parents' shame on their faces when he watches. I went over to watch an NFL game once at his place and he was right. The picture quality for this football game was so damn clear, you could actually see the murder evidence.
Okay, enough of that. My friend, Amy, as she always does, saved my bacon by lending me her old Toshiba. It's clunky, a few years out of date and dammit, it does the job. Amy's a doll and a life-saver. Six times this year. Also Geek Squad just called to say my laptop's hard drive was repaired. "You do back your folders up on your external hard drive, right?" asked the Geek Squader. "Oh, absolutely," I said, meaning that one time two months ago when it last died. Turns out external hard drives are meant to be left plugged in. Who knew?
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| How hard was Buffalo hit with snow this week? This pic and dozens more like it were posted on various social media. This one was posted by buffalobeergoddesses - @beergoddesses - and shows good beer being chilled |
Okay, before we jump to beer, a quick shout-out to our friends in Buffalo who just got rocked this week with probably the worst snowstorm I've ever seen. How bad was it? Well, the average annual snowfall in Buffalo is 94 inches (2.4 metres). Within a 24-hour period two days ago, Buffalo got hit with 65 inches (1.6 metres) and by the end of the weekend, it's expected the total will hit 84 inches (2.1 metres). In a five day span, they have nearly matched their usual annual amount of snow. That's brutal. So to my Buffalo friends, you hang tough and make sure you have plenty of supplies at home, meaning lots of beer and, I dunno, a couple of loaves of bread or soup or whatever it is that humans eat. There are horror stories of motorists trapped in their cars for 36 hours, being forced to listen to nothing but Nicky Minaj and Taylor Swift songs. That's just wrong on every level. But Buffalo Strong, Buffalo Proud, baby!
Is it Beer O'Clock yet at Brew Ha Ha??? Why, yes, I believe it is. Okay, my young Beer Store coworker, Sassy Cassy, is presently studying Kinesiology at Lakehead University in Thunder Bay, Ontario. But she decided to fly home to visit her folks a few weeks back. And Cassy, being Cassy, decided to bring me a gift - a one-litre (34 ounces) howler of Sleeping Giants Brewing 360 Pale Ale.
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| They may be Sleeping but this craft brewery is poised to be the Giant in the Thunder Bay craft beer community |
Okay, last year when my store brought in the Granville Island Winter Mingler pack, everyone's favourite was the Lion's Winter Ale. My stepson, Ryan, out in Alberta, concurred. I found it too vanilla-y and said so in the space. Everyone else tastes chocolate. So when I saw single cans of it, I thought, "Well, let's give her a second chance" because mathematically-speaking, there's no way they're all wrong and I'm right. Well, I am still getting strong vanilla on the nose but yeah, there's a nice vanilla, chocolate and caramel finish to it on the tongue that I missed last year. I'll buy some more of these. A pretty good winter beer.
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| Wasn't bowled over with the St Ambroise IPA, which is mostly a true malty British style with just small touches of west coast hoppy |
A beer that didn't wow me this week was the St Ambroise (Montreal) India Pale Ale. While it promises all those wonderful extra hops that the British used to get their beers to India intact back in the days of yore on the clipper ships, it doesn't really deliver. Exceptionally dry-tasting for an IPA - an opinion actually offered up by the friend having it with me - its light floral aroma deceives you into thinking this 6.2% beer may have some kick-ass in the glass. Alas, it does not - lightly fruity and mostly malty on the tongue. This is what I like to refer it as a "starter IPA" for those looking to branch out from lagers and pilsners. That said, this brewery makes perhaps the most outstanding Oatmeal Stout I've ever had.
However, on a stronger note, I had a chance to try Parallel 49 Brewing's (Vancouver) Gypsy Tears Ruby Ale this week and speaking as a registered physician (in Thailand only) the prognosis here was positive. Styled after a British bitter (I suspect), it was toasted caramel malt on the nose with some light pine and a hint of spice on the tongue. A solid offering!
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| The original version of their Coffee Stout, Sawdust City is now offering up a spiced version and man, you can feel those spices. Aye carumba, this is the Tijuana of beers!!! |
Let's end this with an out-of-this-world blast, shall we? That means Sawdust City's (Gravenhurst) Red Rocket Coffee Spiced Stout. A slight variation of their 5.5% regular Coffee Stout, this 5.3% version pours coal-black in the glass with a dark brown head. The biggest trick to this is figuring out how many spices you're smelling and tasting. All coffee and I think cayenne on the nose, this is a pepper and chili pepper bomb in your mouth. And it goes tingly - like noticeably tingly - down your throat. Crap on a cross, this is delicious. I don't think you could drink a lot of these because it's actually very hot on the throat but on a cold Winter day, looking outside, especially if you live in Buffalo, this beer will warm you up beautifully.
Okay, as I said to the cowboy, "Well, yeah, as a matter of fact, this is my first rodeo... and why is that angry bull charging towards me?" This means it's time to call it a day here at Brew Ha Ha because 1) I'm about to get gored and 2) those beers in the fridge ain't gonna drink themselves. Next up, we celebrate my buddy Ernie's birthday at Rib Eye Jack's Ale House in Burlington where the menu has nearly 200 craft beers, both bottled and on tap. Apparently, their food is also delicious but who cares? Also, how the restaurant's young "beer technician" Kylie absolutely schooled me on craft beers. How does a lady that young know this much about craft beers? We'll talk about that in a couple of days. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! As always, I remain...
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