New growlers and Dead Elephants

Coming soon to a Beer Musketeer (or two), growlers
from Lake of Bays Brewing and Black Creek Historical
Brewery. Now the Beer Musketeers are fully growlered

Well, well, well... (which is either an opening statement indicating intrigue... or three separate sources of water if you live in the country), it would seem that the Beer Musketeers are about to be fully growlered up. A growler, for the unintiated, is the 1.9 litre (64 ounce) glass vessel to the right there. You take these bad boys into your friendly local craft brewer - Nickel Brook Brewing in Burlington in my case - slap some cash onto the table and subsequently walk out with some tasty beer that's brewery-fresh.

It was Beer Musketeer Stevil St Evil, sitting in his lofty perch in Wellington, New Zealand, who exhorted me to add growlers to my arsenal. So when I walked into Nickel Brook for the first time last Autumn, it was a no-brainer once I saw them. I was in love. (Disclaimer: My version of "love" may vary greatly from that of others.) Now while I have a, well, cavalier attitude about pretty much everything in life (my son, David, aside), this was beer talk and I take that pretty seriously. (Second Disclaimer: My version of "seriously" may vary greatly from that of others.) Let's just say, for once, I paid attention in class. In fact, I wish a few of my high school teachers could have seen my A-Game Attention Level - just so they'd finally know what that looked like. It was freakin' Beast Mode...

How to taunt Beer Musketeer Glenn. He was feeling a
bit of a financial pinch prior to pay-day last week (and
hey, we've ALL been there, eh?) and was saying he
wished he had some Muskoka Brewery Twice As Mad
Tom IPA so I messaged him this pic from Donny's Bar
And Grill, explaining Thor drank it all. I also Tweeted
it to Muskoka themselves, who responded they were
damn glad to have the God of Thunder on their side!!!

I asked the gent behind the counter about proper growler cleaning (rinse 'em out with piping hot water - no dish soap because better they have a little beer bacteria in there than soap bacteria). I was also cautioned that it's best to consume a growler within three days. It's equal to about five and a half regular beers so Not Even Remotely A Challenge... Accepted!!! And thus began my growler thug's life. Two from Nickel Brook were soon joined by another from Cameron's Brewing in Oakville, making three, and frankly while I thought growlers were gender-neutral and there would be no hanky-panky, suddenly three little one-litre (34 ounces) 'howlers' magically appeared on my kitchen table nearly overnight. Okay, not really, my co-worker Marie brought them back from Walkerville Brewery in Windsor, each filled with a different tasty product. So now there are six separate growlers at Donny's Bar and Grill. That may seem excessive but let's consider the beer growler storage capacity of my old college buddy, the aforementioned Stevil St Evil. Despite there being a 14,000 kilometre (8,700 mile) distance between us, he and I have daily cyber-contact and that is where we delve into the important and vital issues of day, namely beer, sports, comic book movies, awesome TV (can't even guess how many times he and I have collectively heard: "... the following may contain scenes of nudity and graphic violence...") and, well, ♫ girls, girls, girls ♫. Our Intellectual Think Tank has some pretty shallow water and that's the way we like it.

Is Duff Beer now considered craft beer? Guess I have to go
to Springfield to know - once I figure out which Springfield

While I have six growlers of various size, by my calculations, Stevil has somewhere between seven and 1,157. Like I said, my A-Game Attention Level was Total Snooze Mode during high school Math. Included among his growlers is a three-litre (101 ounces) bad boy that was gifted to him by a teacher buddy down under. (You see, teachers? That's how you get someone's attention, dammit!) So while I am well-stocked in growlers and Stevil is practically using them as furniture at this point, there was an inequity in the Craft Beer World. Beer Musketeers Cat and Glenn don't have growlers.

They do now. A buddy, who recently moved on October 1, discovered two growlers in his storage unit and gifted them to me, having recognized their purpose from my fridge. He's a Bud Light drinker so he identified them as "crawlers" but for a Bud Light drinker, that's remarkably close.

Welcome to the Thanksgiving Long Weekend in Canada.
Be sure to bring a pick-up truck to carry all those beers...

One was from Black Creek Historical Brewery and since it's run by Cat's sister, that's hers. The other, a Lake of Bays Brewing growler, is going to Glenn because he so doesn't care whose growler it is. The reason? Both will be filled with Nickel Brook's tasty Headstock IPA when the pair descend with a handful of other Beer Store hooligans and other thugs into Donny's Bar and Grill's Mid-Autumn Night's Decadent and Dangerous Beer Festival on October 25th. Those growlers are meant as parting gifts for the pair to fully growler them up unless we actually run low on beer for the Beer Fest (pretty sure that won't be happening). Why am I holding this little shindig? Two reasons: 1) Glenn insisted and 2) Remember when Russia was hit by a meteorite last year and in the end, its destructive wake actually caused about $20 million in infrastructure improvements? Yeah, I'm hoping that happens. Granted, it's unlikely that will happen but thus far, my life, which spans decades, has seen the odd  "Seriously? Wow, it shouldn't have but that worked out well" moments so fingers crossed. At the very least, hey, some new noise complaints and I've have a sweet collection of those... dating back to Grade 1 teachers.

Okay, seriously, are St Thomas residents
peeing in the water reserve out there???

You know what we should do now? Hey, let's talk about beer since that's kind of the point... well, after my usual preamble. Okay, about a year ago, I reviewed a handful of really good India Pale Ales and towards the end, referenced the Railway City Brewing's (St. Thomas) Dead Elephant IPA as being "dismal." I was being charitable. Up against the beers I reviewed, it was a distant 12th. And I only reviewed six IPAs. So that bad. When I saw their Double Dead Elephant Double IPA with its super-cool painted label, I was hoping, "Sick! Redemption time!" Had it so it's time to put in it historical reference with other imperial/double IPAs I've enjoyed. Here goes. If Nickel Brook's Immodest IIPA is man landing on the moon and Flying Monkeys' Shoulders of Giants IIPA is taking down the Berlin Wall and Central City's Red Racer IIPA is Nelson Mandela being released from a South African prison and my beloved Stone Ruination IPA (Escondido, California) is Martin Luthor King's "I have a dream" speech, well, then, Double Dead Elephant IIPA is... well, the Hindenburg.

Oh please, when have I ever been above a truly bad pun???

Oh, the humanity! It claims to have 70 IBUs (international bitterness units)??? Ahhh, yeah, well, then, apparently so does my tap water! Calling its aroma a muddle of nothing and its taste even less than that would be like calling me the recipient of the 1997 Nobel Peace Prize. Statically speaking, it could have happened. But it didn't. So I saw their Iron Spike Blonde Ale in the liquor store and was hoping I could at least praise one of its beer. Okay, had it... aroma of light citrus and, I dunno, maybe cigarette butts, the taste is sour. Just sour. At this point, after three of their offerings, I have a theory. Their municipal water supply is coming from a tainted well. Seriously. Something is honestly "off" with their beers. I believe it's in the water. Or they're just very bad at what they do. One or the other.

I honestly think I would stand my ground if I saw this
coming at me. Looks like a skeleton with a flag. Not scary

Okay, let's end this on a more positive, heavy metal note with Iron Maiden's officially-sanctioned Trooper Bitter Ale by Robinson's Brewery in Great Britain, Apparently, Iron Maiden lead singer Bruce Dickinson had a hand in this - which we all know means he had nothing to do with this, showed up for a publicity photo one day and brewery workers asked, "Who's the old fart with the long grey hair?" That said, this Extra Special Bitter was quite good. Yet another given the prison "don't drop the soap" treatment by RateBeer, this is much better than the 45 score it notched. Using Bobec, Goldings and Cascade hops, this has a nice citrus aroma, solid malt and spice on the tongue. I really liked this one. I will purchase it again.

Okay, guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...