Radio Wars over and more Scottish brews

As illustrated by Pixar's Monsters Inc., the height and
weight disparity between  my co-workers Ryan, top,
Lyall, centre and and Cassy, bottom. This also illustrates
their physical appearances as well with Ryan being a
 big hulking monster of a man, Cassy being a wee sprite of
a girl and Lyall being, well, a gigantic walking eye-ball...

Well, the Summer of 2014 is rapidly coming to a close. Even though the season itself doesn't officially end until September 22, most North Americans consider the Labour Day weekend to be the close of another Summer and we start to warily eye Winter in the all-too-short distance. (Not. Like. Last. Year... Please! I beg of you!) At the Beer Store, we have another way of telling the Summer is over. We start to lose our university students. Last Friday was Sassy Cassy's last day (Gordo and I treated her to post-shift beers) and by the end of this week, Lyall and Ryan are gone too.

This, too, means the Radio Wars in our empty sorting area are over. Lyall and Ryan's rock station will now reign supreme while Cassy's dance station has been muted. So who won the war? It would appear since I was the one to declare it a Radio War, I also have to select the winner. Let's put it this way. Since, at my age, I now know the words to the newest songs by Nico & Vinz, Kiesza, Rita Ora, One Republic and Demi Lovato, I'm calling Cassy the winner despite being outnumbered two-to-one and outweighed 500+ pounds to maybe 100 pounds. That said, I'm giving Ryan the Best Reaction Award for the time he was walking through the room, heard Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball playing, did a sharp U-turn, yelled "Hells to the no!" and changed it back to rock.

What my little girl Katie's country music is all about...

And Lyall wins Rebuttal of the Year after Cassy snapped at him, "Stop changing my radio station!" and he barked right back, "Stop listening to shit music!"

But Sassy Cassy didn't go without a parting gift for me. When I came into work on Friday, she gestured over to an all-too-familiar liquor store gift bag and said there was something there for me. Inside the bag - a 750-ml bottle of Flying Monkeys' Shoulders of Giants Imperial IPA with a note: "Don, Thanks for all your help, support, laughs and memories made from this summer, Cassandra. P.S. Enjoy a drink on me." And with that small but very sweet and thoughtful gesture before she left for Thunder Bay, in my eyes, she was now Classy Cassy.

With the three of them leaving and my little girl, Katie, returning from school for a stretch, that means one thing. Country music will be returning to the empty sorting room.

Hey, Willy Wonka said it, not me. Granted, I do agree...

But this isn't that "new country" music that's practically pop music, sung by the likes of Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Lady Antebellum and Shania Twain. Nope, this is the old-school pick-up truck country music which is apparently the direction this genre has spun back sharply towards. I don't listen to much country music unless Katie's working but I'll tell you this - it's a remarkably simple style to catch onto. One song I had never heard came on and was - I kid you not - about falling in love in the back seat of a cop car and by the end, I was singing along with the chorus because I had already learned the words. This is not a particularly challenging musical genre. Unless you count the challenge of fighting off the overwhelming urge to instantly change the station.

But it's time to talk about Scottish beers again... though certainly not traditional Scottish music, meaning bagpipes... which I still cannot believe have not been banned from the entire planet under various and sundry Noise Pollution Laws.

No, this bitter ale is not Belhaven's actual
Best - that would be their 7% Scottish Stout

Belhaven Brewery out of East Lothian, Scotland, has landed a couple of their beers on our turf - their Best Ale and Black Scottish Stout. The Best Ale, brewed as a bitter, has a malty toffee aroma and a taste of, well, bitter watery tea (yes, tea) and nuts. Tennent's drinkers would have no problem quaffing back this one. And the Black Scottish Stout? Well, at my store, it comes in a four pack (just like Guinness), is 4.2% (just like Guinness) and costs $11.95 (just like Guinness). So I'm sure you can imagine my *surprise* when it tasted... a lot like Guinness. I will have to put this copy-cat version of Guinness in a blindfold taste test with the Irish original to: 1) differentiate the subtleties between the two and 2) declare a winner. RateBeer had Guinness ahead 88 to 59. I suspect it's much closer than that. Some chocolate and dark fruit on the nose with a thin, bitter coffee feel in the mouth. Since the brewery also makes another 7% Scottish Stout that notched a solid 94 on RateBeer, I can only assume this is the cheaper one meant to directly compete with and imitate Guinness. Naturally, I tracked down co-worker Saga, the dutiful and loyal Scot and asked what manner of sorcery this be? "Hey," he wickedly smiled with that smarmy Scottish smirk of his, "If it ain't broke, why fix it?" If Jack The Ripper was Scottish, Saga would try to convince me he was actually a noble humanitarian, trying his best to rid the Scottish Highlands of prostitution... one hooker at a time.

And we have our winner, second from the right, with
the Heather Ales' Alba Scots Pine Ale. Delicious!!!

Okay, that purchase of the Historic Ales From Scotland pack with four beers (on the left) brewed by Heather Ales Brewery in Clackmannanshire that I found in tiny Forest, Ontario turned out to be one helluva buy. And that lands mostly (but not solely) on the shoulders of the Alba Scots Pine Ale. It was the second one I tried in this set of four and I wrote on the accompanying brochure "the best one!" before I'd even had the third or fourth. This 7.5% bomb-blast sees actual sprigs of pine and shoots of spruce boiled with the malted barley in the early brewing process. The aroma is all pine, the taste is deep malts and, well, woody and the result is outstanding... as can be expected by a recipe originally created by the Vikings. I felt the urge to swing an axe after I had it... and I do continue to apologize to my neighbour for that.

McEwan's Scotch Ale. Go on. I double-dog-dare ya

Their 6.5% Ebulum Elderberry Black Ale was actually my first beer from the pack and it was also a strong contender until I had the Scots Pine. According to the brochure, this beer style was introduced to Scotland by Welsh druids in the 9th Century at a time when elderberries were used as a cure for influenza and rheumatism. ("Hey, I'm no doctor but the druids swear this beer will fix you up. Seriously, have four or five. I'll wait over there.") Smoky and coffee on the nose, it's bitter and berry on the tongue. Great beer. The Grozet Gooseberry Wheat Ale is, I assume, something of a pale ale to the Scots and well, a weak sister in this pack. To be honest, I didn't even know it was a wheat until I looked at the label. Do not give this to the Germans unless you wish to be mocked. No aroma to speak of (or at least nothing discernible), a little malt and citrus on the tongue... and not much else. And finally, the Fraoch Heather Ale. To be honest, I have no idea what heather smells like (or what it is for that matter) but it must be herbal because I definitely got that. Then light and bitter-sweet on the tongue. Decent but miles behind the two powerhouses in this pack.

"This just in: McEwans is full of scotchy, scotchy goodness"

And finally, let's try some McEwan's Scotch Ale which my store recently got in six-packs. Originally brewed at McEwan's at the Foundation Brewery in Edinburgh, it got bought by Heineken in 2008 and then sold to Wells & Young in Bedford, England in 2011 where it's been brewed since. Never had it when it was an Edinburgh product but hellz yeah, this 8% ale is still dynamite. Smoke and caramel on the nose, molasses and complexity on the tongue, this has made several repeat visits to the fridge at Donny's Bar and Grill. Love this stuff.

Okay, when my long-time friends Shona, Andrea and I decided to go to the Hamilton Beer Festival last Friday but found out the hours ran 2 to 8 pm (really... 8 pm?) and none of us could get there before, maybe, 6 pm, we were in a pickle. So instead, we went to nearby Chester's Beers of the World and held the First Annual Three's Company Beer Festival on our own! Wanna know how it went? I'll be back in a couple of days to tell you. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here... Until then, I am, as always...

Summer camp, Motley Crue and Scottish beers

When my buddy, Dave, scored us front row centre
seats to Motley Crue a few summers ago, singer Vince
Neil virtually guaranteed us some post-concert action
by putting the microphone directly in front of our dates
during Girls, Girls, Girls. One of my best pictures ever!

What could my son David's Summer Camp in tiny Forest, Ontario, kick-ass rockers Motley Crue and Scottish beers possibly have in common? Buckle up as you're about to find out...

You see, my boy is a big fan of the TV show, Glee. Personally, I find it as annoying as hell, having watched maybe one episode during its five year run. However, it does expose my boy to music he would never otherwise know so I have buried my distaste for it and simply consider it a cultural education in modern and past classic pop music for my boy. So when, say, a Queen song comes on the radio and David starts to sing along, I begrudgingly have to give credit to Glee.

Okay, back to Forest Cliff Camp - every summer they hold a Talent Night which is, in turn, is pretty much a karaoke night. Unless, of course, some camper knows how to juggle chainsaws... which I would absolutely drive the three hours to see. David was all set this year to sing Journey's Don't Stop Believing, a Glee staple. But unfortunately, for reasons unknown, they didn't hold their Talent Night this year.

How my buddy, Dave, dressed the night we saw
Motley Crue front row centre. Dozens of guys
posed with him when we were doing beer runs. That
red stuff on him? That's from the buckets of Crue
Spew thrown from the stage at the end of the show

Granted, it would have been tough to top David's song from last summer. I had no idea what he had chosen as his big Talent Night number until his Mom tagged both myself and my buddy Dave on Facebook to tell us. Turns out he'd gone on stage with Motley Crue's Home Sweet Home. We were blown away. While I am a pretty big Crue fan, having seen them four times (including once in Las Vegas) in the past five years, Dave would be more accurately described as a Crue fanatic, living and breathing through the heavy metal mad-men's ups and downs over the years. There is literally nothing Dave does not know about the Crue. In fact, he likely remembers seminal parts of their past that the band members themselves have long since forgotten.

But back to my boy. Now how would my lad weaned on Glee even know this song? Well, that's where the movie, Hot Tub Time Machine comes in. David and I love this 2010 comedy in which John Cusack (Adam), Craig Robinson (Nick) and comedian Rob Corddry (Lou) live dreary, meaningless lives in the present-day. They decide to break through their funk by revisiting the Colorado ski resort where they partied hardy back in the 1980s. It's a total dump in the present but they nonetheless book their old room, complete with its creaky old hot tub. But groundskeeper Chevy Chase has magically infused the hot tub with plutonium or some-such which then send the fellows back in time to a pivotal night in their youth.

Motley Lue played the credits of Hot Tub Time Machine
with Rob Corddry replacing Vince Neil as the lead singer

This, of course, is their chance to undo the past and set them on a better direction for the future. But at the last second, the obnoxiously-hilarious lovable loser Lou decides to stay in the past and alter his life big-time. He becomes a billionaire by creating the internet search engine called *ahem* Loogle. But prior to that, he becomes lead singer for the band known as (oh dear lord) Motley Lue. The song Home Sweet Home plays a big role early in the movie and then through the closing credits which mimics the Motley Crue video closely. So I have a CD sleeve on my car's sun-visor and whenever David and I turn onto my street in Burlington, Motley Crue's Greatest Hits goes into the player and track 9, Home Sweet Home, is sung very much off-key and very loudly by the pair of us. It's a father-son thing.

Women in stages of undress on the Scottish cans of
Tennents Lager? If Gail hadn't told me,  I would have
never known. Turns out her father was a pretty big fan

And that brings me to the Scottish beer portion of this little shindig. While picking David up this year, I decided to see what the tiny Forest liquor store had in stock that maybe I couldn't find here. Not much to be honest. But I found a little four-pack called the Historic Ales of Scotland so I grabbed it and decided it was high time to do a blog (now two - Part 2 tomorrow) on Scottish beers. You may be thinking, "Well, Motley Crue has nothing to do with the Scottish beers then?" and you'd be right. Dave and I just totally dig the fact that while everyone else at camp was singing Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry, my son was belting out the Crue. And those historic ales - yeah, they're waiting until tomorrow, too. Today, we're looking at Tennent's Lager and the humongous and outstanding Innis and Gunn family. I was careful to bounce my opinions off two of my favourite Scots, co-worker Saga whose love of the Celtic soccer team rivals Dave's love for the Crue and Gail, aka Braveheart, whose Scottish brogue is so thick, you wouldn't be able to understand a bloody word she said after three beers... mostly because she's tough to decipher stone-cold sober.

Holy Mother of Pearl, the Innis and Gunn Canadian
Cherrywood Finish Ale is just freakin' outstanding...

So let's start with the Tennent's Lager, one of Scotland's biggest-sellers. It is, in essence, the Scottish version of our hugely-popular Molson Canadian. A typical mainstream lager, though a wee baby step up from ours. The pride of Glascow, this is grassy in aroma, malty on the tongue and clearly a lager for the masses which reminded me of Ireland's Harp Lager. Saga shrugs it off as "horrible" but it was Gail who explained to me why this beer was so popular in Scotland. You see, here we get a yellow and silver can with a big red "T". Over in Scotland, they put pictures of pretty girls on the can - women in lingerie, bikinis, open dress shirts, tight dresses. Her late father was a dedicated Tennent's drinker for this very reason, she reckoned. "My dad had at least eight women a night," she quipped. "He used to hide those ladies behind the bread bin while he was making dinner. I could still see their cleavage, though. Short bread bin." Even Saga concedes to this as a "brilliant marketing strategy. We know how to sell beer. Bad beer, great can!"

There is no need for clever gimmicks on the Innis and Gunn bottles. These are some damn fine beers. Not a bad one in the bunch. But some are stronger than others.

These dudes just plain make really good beers!

Except for the lager, every one of them is barrel-aged, which adds wonderful wood to the equation. So I started with the Original. Caramel, vanilla and pine on the nose, malty sweetness on the tongue, I thought this was great... until I had the Innis and Gunn Rum Cask Finish. Ruby red in colour, you can smell the rum, oak and spice before the vanilla and caramel sweetness on the tongue. I thought this was dynamite... until I had the Innis and Gunn Canadian Cherrywood Finish. While all of these are stronger in ABV (Original is 6.6% while Rum Cask is 7.4%), this 8.3% nard-kicker is... well, pretty much that. The brewery, claiming this is the only Canadian Cherrywood cask-aged beer out there (let's assume they're right), uses three malts, Super Styrian and Goldings hops and, as a nod to us Canuckle-Heads, a touch of maple syrup in this devil's brew. Maple and cherry on the nose, it's toffee, berries and good bitter on the tongue. Liquid dynamite.

There were a couple of Innis and Gunners that I was less knocked over by, the most surprising of which was their Toasted Oak IPA. At 5.8%, it's a little light for an IPA. They say hoppy. I say if they try a Nickel Brook Immodest Imperial IPA or Flying Monkeys Shoulders of Giants Imperial IPA, they would have a better understanding of "hoppy".

Thin next to their ales. But as a stand-alone?
Innis and Gunn Lager is a pretty good beer

This is one of those mild British-style mild malt-driven IPAs. Which is fine but not the kind of IPAs that North Americans stagger towards like hipster zombies. Butter and vanilla on the nose, you get some banana and wood on the tongue... but zero hoppiness. It's a nice beer. Just not an IPA - the perfect IPA for hop-intolerant Saga.

In much the same vein, Innis and Gunn Lager fails in comparison to their ales. But let me add this quick clarification - only in comparison to their ales, which are by and large top shelf. I mean, for a lager, it's pretty damn good. Miles past Tennent's for certain, this 4.6% lager is one of the better ones I've had (aside from some great amber lagers). Touch of citrus and corn malt on the nose, there is actually a touch of hops, fruit and vanilla on the tongue. This is actually a damn fine lager. Thin against their ales but as a stand-alone? Not too shabby.

Okay, back tomorrow with McEwan's Scotch Ale, two Bellhaven offerings and of course, those four Historics Ales of Scotland. Also, Sassy Cassy's farewell gift to me, who won Radio Wars and well, whatever else rattles around in my brain between now and then. Oh yeah, here's the 1985 version of Home Sweet Home, first by Motley Crue right: HERE! And of course, I would be remiss if I didn't include the 2010 version by Motley Lue which you can see as presented in the final scene of Hot Tub Time Machine right: OVER HERE!!!!

But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!! Until tomorrow, I remain...

Granville Island Pale Ale with my step-son

As a lark last Christmas, my step-sons Josh and Ryan
decided to have a picture taken with Santa. While in line,
they noticed all the kids has exactly two expressions -
either crying or distracted. So they mimicked that here.

When I first met the two young men who would eventually become my step-sons, Ryan was 13 years old and Josh was just eight. I had been dating their Mom a short while and Ryan, tired of simply talking to me on the phone, finally said, "Look, invite the guy over so we can meet him." So one night, I showed up on their doorstep. Noting that Ryan was, in fact, taller than his Mom, I helpfully pointed out, "Once you're taller than someone, you don't have to listen to them anymore. It's in the rules." (While Ryan enjoyed that concept and my sense of humour, I believe that I got 'words' from someone after that.) As for Josh, well, he seemed somewhat embarrassed that I had caught him at the coffee table in his underwear doing homework. To put him at ease, I casually noted, "I find it's faster to do homework naked because then you're rushing through so you can put some clothes on."

And thus began a long and continuing friendship with these two fellows, both of whom, I discovered quickly, were exceptionally intelligent and thoughtful as young boys, who would only grow moreso in that vein as young men. The marriage to their Mom didn't last but my strong and quasi-parental connection to these two dudes is pretty much a for-life deal.

Lindsay holding up baby Annabelle, who
appears to be thinking, "Please tell me I'm
not related to this guy I'm looking at..."

But time does, in fact, pass quickly as Ryan is now a high school Science teacher in Edmonton while Josh, a recent university graduate, has also flown out west to strike out on his own.

Now a key component must be introduced at this point and her name is Lindsay, the beautiful young lady Ryan met out west. Having seen Ryan through his teenage years, I remember well previous girlfriends and while they were all lovely young ladies, my concern was that none of them brought enough to the table, so to speak, for a young man like Ryan. Then he brought Lindsay out east for all of us to meet. Within a half hour, I thought, "Bingo. This is absolutely the one." A half hour after that, I was thinking, "If the boy drops the ball on this one, I shall rip his arms and legs off and feed them to the sharks." Not only did Lindsay bring more than enough to the table, the table was, in fact, overflowing. Their story continued to the inevitable engagement phone call (full disclosure: I lost my shit in the happiest possible way) and finally a storybook marriage and reception in Banff three summers ago where I got to meet Lindsay's parents, Rosie and Norm - both exceptional people and crystal-clear reasons you could see why the Lindsay Acorn did not fall far from the Mighty Parental Oak. Rosie and Norm absolutely rock!

The level of my enthusiasm during the speeches at
Ryan and Lindsay's wedding was appropriate. It was the
best reception I have ever attended and the speeches
were outstanding. Also yes, I wore a Superman tie...

Now before this beer blog actually, y'know, gets to the beer portion, one more tiny component must be introduced. You see, when Lindsay and Ryan popped into town last week, they brought their daughter, Annabelle, who's just on the shy side of one-year-old. I caught her on a fussy night (which, as any young parents will attest, happens on occasion) but what a beautiful little girl. Granted as two more babies filled our section at the local Turtle Jack's, Lindsay was duly concerned that Annabelle's crying would, in fact, create what she called "Baby Dominoes" - whereby if one baby cries, it starts a chain reaction. (Baby Dominoes - that's brilliant. See what I mean about Lindsay?) Our night was cut a little short by the fussing but still was long enough for us all to catch up and most importantly, for me to meet my grand-daughter. While Norm had quickly taken Grandpa Norm and Ryan's Dad went with Paka Mike as a nod to his Dutch heritage, it was left to me to decide what my monicker would be. While Beer Musketeer Stevil St Evil was leaning towards "Drinky Donny" and Ryan suggested "Batman Donner", in the end, I chose Bumpa Don as that's what I called my grandfathers and more importantly, it's what my son David called my late father - Bumpa Jack. Wow, I'm a grand-dad. That is so cool!

Granville Island Brewery in BC first hit the scene back in
the mid-1980s and was the first wave of craft offerings
in that province. Stevil St Evil remembers them fondly.
I suspect others may have passed them but they were
the pioneers of small-craft brewing in BC for years

And for the first time ever, Ryan and I got to talk craft beers as he is favouring some new ones in Edmonton and western-Canada-at-large while I am piling through most of Ontario's and a growing chunk of the USA's. As most of Turtle Jack's taps are mainstream beers, I made the poor waitress rattle off (twice) the entire tap selection. I was leaning towards a Guinness until she said, "Granville Island." Which Granville Island? Their English Bay Pale Ale. Sold to the three legal people at the table - sorry, Annabelle, juice for you. While this beer is punished on RateBeer (17 - ouch!), in a roadhouse bar filled with mainstream choices, it is a treat! Some unexpected vanilla and caramel on the nose, this goes down with some tangy fruit on the tongue. That said, Ryan's favourite from the Granville folks is their hugely-popular Lions Winter Ale while I lean towards their Robson Street Hefeweizen, which we only stock in the summer. However, I have noticed their Ginja Ninja Ginger Beer at the liquor stores and hey, with a name like that, I pretty much have to, don't I?

An outstanding label around a less-outstanding IPA

When I saw Shipyard Monkey Fist IPA at the liquor store, I knew I had to have one. I mean, look at the label - how cool is that? But Beer Musketeer Glenn told me not only had I already tried it, I warned him away from both it and Railway City's Dead Elephant IPA many months ago. The Dead Elephant I remember, the Monkey Fist I did not. Made by Shipyard Brewing out of Portland, Maine (the other Portland), this is not the worst IPA I've ever had but it's so far behind the front-runners that it's been lapped twice. Slightly orange and citrus on the nose, it's all bready malt on the tongue. A label as cool as this deserves a far better product inside the can. Apparently, I was right on the money with my first (long-forgotten) assessment of it. I call monkey shines and shenanigans on this one!

Well, how 'bout that? Royal Unibrew finally made a good one

I have finally found a member of the Faxe family out of Royal Unibrew in Faxe, Denmark, that I enjoy. The Faxe 5 lager is typically Euro-lager, meaning not offensive but not particularly noteworthy. The Faxe Amber is actually a step down from that. And the Faxe 10% is best used to clean out your car's carburetor with and is unfit for human consumption... unless you're a terrorist of some sort or perhaps never want your neighbours to darken your door-step instead. So it was with some trepidation that I tried their new Faxe Red. Much to my surprise, I quite liked this fruit beer. Light fruits on the nose, apple on the tongue, this is a decent summer beer. And a welcome surprise from the Royal Unibrew folks.

Lindsay, Ryan, my boy David and me at the wedding three summers ago

Next up we have Scottish beers and man, there are some good ones. But a couple quick memories, if I can. When I caught up with Josh at Ryan and Lindsay's wedding three years ago, I hadn't seen him in five years (though we still stayed in touch.) Imagine my surprise when he looked me square in the eye at the meet-and-greet the night before and said, "Donner, let's get our drink on!" Having not done the Math, I didn't even know he was legal. (And boy, we did get our drink on!) And while Ryan confessed to me he had only read this blog a handful of times (though I'm kinda forcing his hand today, aren't I?), he prefers to save his reading for Science-related matters. Fair enough. But he noted his pal, Robbie (one of his ushers) was a regular Brew-Ha-Ha! reader. For the record, people, Dr Robbie is now an astro-physicist and teaching Physics at Red Deer College out west, having moved there at the beginning of this month. You know what this means? A freakin' rocket scientist reads this! When I get business cards done, I'm putting that on there. Brew-Ha-Ha!: The Favourite Beer Blog of Rocket Scientists Everywhere! Well, one singular rocket scientist - but printers make mistakes, right? Okay, guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! Until next time, I remain...

Catching up on The Summer of Beers

Reason # 14 that my craft brewer can beat up your craft
brewer!! My craft brewer, Nickel Brook, has a Keg Mobile
that comes complete with outer spigots and pretty women

I have about 14 or so Scottish beers, sitting patiently in the fridge at Donny's Bar and Grill - waiting for their 15 minutes of fame in Brew-Ha-Ha! glory and I'm afraid they'll have wait a while longer. Not to worry - I've put little kilts on each to keep them warm. It looks like the battle scene from Braveheart in there... well, as acted out by beer bottles. You see my beer consumption has vastly outstripped my blog production - probably due to excessive beer consumption - it's a vicious circle, this beer blogging. Consumption of the subject matter alone runs contrary to the productive use of time... well, unless you're like me and consider imbibing copious amounts of new beers the most perfect use of time possible. I remained mystified that any number of my ex-girlfriends do not understand the nobility in all of this. It's like they don't get the pivotal role that Brew-Ha-Ha! plays in the well-being of society itself. Perhaps that's because it actually doesn't but geez, ladies, give me something to work with here. Throw the dog a bone, as it were. Or a beer. Preferably the latter.

Control Malt Delete may be one of the most clever
beer names yet. This mild ale comes courtesy of
our friends Beachwood BBQ and Brewery out of
Long Beach, California. I raise my frosty mug!!

That said, I am now in the envious position of having to pause and play a little catch-up with 2014 edition of the Summer Of Beers...

I can now officially say I have tried gluten-free beer - once, accidentally and twice on purpose. The first time, as I said, very much an accident, was when I scooped a Bards out of the "orphan basket" at the liquor store. Cherry-picking the orphan basket, which hosts stragglers left over from plucked-apart six-packs, is a great way to try something new. Not knowing Bards was a gluten-free beer, I blissfully poured it into a mug and had at it. How can I describe this 'beer'? Well, it's like a brewery owner said to his brewmaster, "Okay, let's try something different. Hey, has anyone ever made a beer from chalk before?" I'm not sure what else to say about this - other than apologize to people who are celiac, meaning grain-intolerant and thus forced to drink gluten-free beer. Apparently, gluten is where all the wonderful beer flavour comes from.

Credit where credit is due. If I was celiac, I would drink
nothing but Snowman Brewing's Top Hat Ale. It's not bad

The third time I tried a gluten-free beer was when my Beer Store buddy Carter came to do a shift at my store and saw we had just received Schnitzer Brau gluten-free into stock. Carter bought a six-pack of this brew, made by Baden-Wurttemburg Brewery in Offenburg, Germany and happily offered me one. You know what? While this tastes similar to much of Europe's tepid mainstream lagers, at least it tastes like a beer rather than bog-water strained through a coffee filter!

But no, it was the second gluten-free beer that I had that actually stood above the GF pack. While at the Toronto Festival of Beer, I came across the Snowman Brewing gang out of Richmond Hill and their Top Hat Ale. Knowing full well it was gluten-free and that I had actually paid my hard-earned (or hardly-earned) cash for the beer chips, I nonetheless gamely slammed two tokens on their counter and said brashly, "Gluten free me!" Staggeringly, that invoked some chuckles and polite golf applause at the booth. Grainy and malty on the nose, this was caramel and light hops on the tongue. Happy I'm not celiac but if I was, I would absolutely drink this. Nice job, Snowman Brewing!

Tree Brewing's Cutthroat West Coast Ale is
another winner from the Kelowna BC brewer

A recent recommendation from co-worker Ryan was Tree Brewing's Cutthroat West Coast Ale. Oddly, this got punished on RateBeer with a 64 and I suspect that's because it's more a British style (malty) than West Coast American style (full-on hoppy), the latter of which, I prefer. That said, I must disagree - once again - with RateBeer on this one. Caramel and malt on the nose but some nice pine bitter hoppiness on the tongue. Not too shabby. It's not in, say, Great Lakes Brewery's Canuck Ale or Flying Monkeys Hoptical Illusion Almost Pale Ale's zone but damn, it wasn't too bad at all. This BC brewery cranks out a lot of great beers such as their Captivator Doppelbock which was gifted to me and their Hophead IPA, available pretty much everywhere here in Ontario. That Doppelbock, which I had a few months back after a travelling saint of a lady handed it to me and said, "Here's one you've probably never had..." Plum and raisin on the nose, bitter, berry and boozy (8%) on the tongue. Damn, I love a good bock! Smells like... Spring. More Spring than napalm, for sure.

Number 1? Really? Quick question: were there
other brews competing for this lofty beer crown?

Some beers should come with a warning label. That was the case when I plucked two Japanese beers, Asahi and Kirin Ichiban and one Thailand beer, Singha, from the orphan bin at the liquor store. For the sake of expedience, I shall review them all quickly. Asahi? No! Kirin Ichiban? No! Singha? Double no! How insipid are these beers? They make North American mainstream lagers look like they're bursting with flavour. Asahi bills itself as Japan's #1 beer while as you can see, Singha makes a similar claim for Thailand. My one question is simply this: What the hell do your #8 beers taste like???? I suspect both countries do have some great craft breweries cooking up good beer so I'll not tarnish them in the name of these three bottles of liquid Ebola Virus.

Thor's hammer, Mjolnir, as a beer opener? Take my money!

After my high school buddy, Cheesy, brought me a Goose Island Barleywine Ale up from Michigan (one of the most near-perfect beers I've ever had), I have kept my eyes peeled for further Goose Island offerings. Despite the fact the Chicago brewery was bought out by Anheuser Busch, they continue to operate independently to which I say to the big boys simply this: thank you. You have just bought a tiny bit of respect in my eyes... which is miles above where you were previously. But, back to the story, I found a Goose Island Matilda Belgium Ale up here and of course, snapped it up. Oh my stars and garters, this is tasty. Almost wheat beer-like on the nose with spice, banana and dark fruits, this is spicy, citrus, coriander and plums on the tongue. Wonderfully complex!

If you find a Beer Pong table more epic than this one, feel
 free to let me know. Because frankly, I don't believe it exists

A couple of quick shout-outs before we call it a day. First to my homies at Nickel Brook Brewery here in Burlington. Had to do some grocery shopping the other day and thought, "Hey, why not fill my growlers at the same time?" So I drove to the brewery, saw the Josh Man happily sweeping out front, made some early morning chit-chat with the dude and headed in. The lights weren't on in the retail area although the brewery was clearly in full production mode. Asked Josh, "What time do you open?" Turns out it's 11 a.m. Look at my watch - it's 10:05 a.m. D'oh! I'll come back, I quickly say. Nah, you're already here, they reply... and then cheerfully refilled my growlers. An hour before opening. And that's why these guys rock on a whole different level. Nickel Brook owner John walked by, saw me at the darkened counter with my growlers and jokingly yelled, "For crying out loud, lock the doors. Look at the riff-raff that's wandering in off the streets!!!"

Another reason to love Nickel Brook? They will gladly refill my one-litre
howler that co-worker Marie brought me back from Walkerville Brewery.

Shout-out number two goes to co-worker Sassy Cassy who will (sadly) be returning to school in Thunder Bay in a couple of weeks. Because I'm Donny Flip-Phone, I had her do a product search on her iPhone for my beloved Flying Monkeys Shoulders of Giants Imperial IPA. Once she plugged in my postal code, we realized the closest locale was Mississauga - certainly not miles away but, well, inconvenient to me. There's always other beers, right? But she noted that one of the liquor stores was literally five minutes from her house. The next day when I came into work, by gawd, there were two Shoulders of Giants 750-ml bottles waiting for me. I paid her, of course, but pretty thoughtful on her part. Like Nickel Brook, Cassy rocks on a whole other level. I will really miss her... well, until Christmas, holidays and next summer.

But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!!! Until next time, I remain, as always...

When Speakeasy got too loud... and great beer

That's my man, Lloyd, on the drums in the Led Zeppelin
T-Shirt with Stewart on guitar and Kristine on lead pipes

It was the kind of invitation that reminded you, oh hey, that's right, we're still in the thick of Summer! Ahh, Summer-time and the living is, indeed, easy...

Now I know Lloyd and Vicky through my son's swim team, the Burlington Barracudas, on which their son, Brandon, also competed. That means I used to see them every month at swim meets and on occasion, at the Wednesday night swim practices at a local Burlington pool. You ever watch an hour and 15 minute long swim practice? It consists of kids swimming back and forth. That's it. If no one drowns (and I'm happy to report no one ever did), it was a successful practice. You do it for your kids but on the Excitement Scale, it falls somewhere just below watching paint dry (and not the whole wall - just a specific 2-by-2-inch patch) and eating chalk for fun and profit...

So screaming back to the whole Summertime And The Living Is Easy part of this...

Good golly, Miss Molly, this young lady
Kristine has some impressive chops!!

Now when Lloyd and Vicky decided to hold a backyard Summer BBQ, they added a brave new twist to it - an outdoor concert. You see, Lloyd's the drummer of a rapidly-gaining-popularity Toronto-area bar band Speakeasy. At this point, I should note that Lloyd is indeed lucky to be married to the vivacious Vicky (who took the pics I'm using here) because yeah, drummers and bass players, well, the ladies aren't flocking to the stage to get a piece of that. Singers and especially guitarists, well, that's where all the action is. The band specializes in classic rock so you're gonna hear a lot of Heart, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Oasis, Pat Benatar, Guns N Roses, Alanis Morissette... all that great shake-your-stuff, get-em-on-the-dance-floor music. This was my first time hearing them and now I get to the part where the couple holding a backyard concert is a brave endeavour. Y'see, Lloyd and Vicky don't live out in the country somewhere - no, they live smack-dab in the middle of a quiet Burlington suburb. Because of work, I didn't get there until about 9:30 pm, which was into the band's third set on the night. Upon being greeted warmly with a hug, I asked Vicky the obvious question: How had they not got any noise complaints?

Corey and Monica - the couple who
showed up because they heard music

"Oh, that was easy," she laughed. "We invited all the neighbours" - most of whom had popped in over the course of the night. Okay, that's just brilliant.

As I was driving up, I could hear them from several streets away. While I didn't get the name of their bass player, a stand-in filling for the regular guy on vacation, Lloyd's drums and guitarist Stewart's sharp notes could be clearly heard from quite a distance. But as Led Zeppelin themselves noted in their classic tune All Of My Love - ♫ One voice is clear above the din ♫... and that belonged to singer Kristine. Holy frosty mug of beer on a hot day, that tiny lady can sing! She reminded me of a young Ann Wilson of Heart and I have always believed to this day that Wilson has one of the best set of pipes in all of rock. Kristine's got that same range - impressive, to say the least. Jaw-dropping, to say the most.

Well, all good things must come to an end and that happened at about 10:15 pm when a nice lady cop stopped in to say the show was over, due to a noise complaint. But she was quick to add, "Tell the band that I thought they sounded really really good!" While that was a bummer, Lloyd was thrilled to hear the complaint came from three blocks away! Kristine happily continued on with an unplugged acoustic set and things continued to roll for a while. It was a blast! In fact, it was so much fun, we saw a young couple, Corey and Monica wander in to enjoy the free show. Turns out they were at a nice restaurant having a romantic dinner quite a distance away and decided they weren't ready to call it a night just yet, what with Corey's Mom watching their two-year-old. All young parents can relate to that.

Ayinger Brau-Weisse: this is how you spell
"delicious" in German. Except it's "lecker"

They heard the music and simply drove towards it. "We didn't want to go home yet," smiled Monica. "We could hear all this great music... so here we are!" After getting some cold beers handed to them, the pair happily swapped funny stories with a group of strangers and had a great extension of their night out.

Great night and big props to Lloyd, Vicky and Speakeasy for all the fun. How tight was Speakeasy, even with a fill-in bass? Well, by my third Flying Monkeys Hoptical Illusion Almost Pale Ale, I had my White Man Stationary Sway on. What's that? Hey, glad you asked. It's a 'dance' move where you stay in one spot, never ever move your feet but slightly use your hips, upper body and arms to sway with the tunes, thereby giving the illusion of an innate sense of rhythm - but without actual dancing, which would instantly dispel that illusion. I've totally mastered that! Do not move your feet. Not even a slight shuffle. Because then you're dancing and that can be judged. And you'll suck. Badly. But this is supposed to a beer blog so let's talk Summer suds. 

I have long maintained that no one makes a wheat beer like the Germans. I've had some great Canadian and American wheats but let's face it, the Germans have a 500 year head-start - they were bound to learn a few extra wheat brewing tricks.

The Belgh Brasse line-up out of Amos,
Quebec. Had all three but one was head
and shoulders above the other two...

The good folks at Brauerei Aying in Aying, Germany certainly used a few of those tricks in the making of Ayinger Brau-Weisse, a classic unfiltered Bavarian wheat. Banana and spice on the nose, this goes down with the briefest taste of bubble gum which disappears quickly to make way for a malty fruit/banana and light spice on the tongue. It won't supplant my two German favourites - Weihenstephaner Vitus (an unbelievable single bock wheat) or Weihenstephaner Weisse - but I'll tell you that this is the closest I've come to them at this point. And it's damn close. Beautiful tasty Summer beer.

Let's pop back to this side of the Altantic on my jet and land square in Amos, Quebec's Belgh Brasse brewery. My Beer Store recently started stocking their Mons Abbey Witte, a wheat, and Mons Abbey Blonde, a Belgian Ale. As fate would have it, the brewery also had a booth at the Toronto Festival of Beers where I got to try their Mons Abbey Dubbel, which medalled at last month's US Open Beer Championships in Atlanta. I told the guy at the booth I had a bottle of both the Witte and Blonde in my fridge but was eager to try their medal winner. "Oh, I think the Dubbel's our best of them," he told me. After having all three of them now, I have to agree.

Ahhh, the Wellington Brewery Chocolate Milk Stout takes
the best of Winter (stout) and the best of Summer (chocolate
milk) and mashes it all up in this stout, best-suited to Summer

Using Styrian Gold and Hallertauer hops, the Dubbel pours a dark brown with light fruit and raisins on the nose, grapes and spice on the tongue, giving it a bit of red wine intensity in the swallow. Even standing in a booth with an 8-ounce plastic mug at a beer fest, the flavour in this is undeniable. Deserved that silver medal. The Abbey Witte is solid, don't get me wrong, but up against the German Ayinger, any Canadian wheat, even one from Quebec, is going to suffer. Light spice and fruity on the nose (no banana?), this is a little too light on the tongue with only a hint of coriander and wheat. Nice but too mild. Likewise, the Abbey Blonde is also too mild, but on the aroma. It took me several sniffs just to pull maybe a bit of honey off the head. The taste - for a Belgian Ale - well, again I've had some top-notch ones recently and this isn't quite in their weight class.

After several years of contract-brewing at
Toronto's Black Oak, Sawdust City, makers
of the outstanding Lone Pine IPA finally
opened their Gravenhurst brewery two
weeks ago. Complete with the retail store,
they also announced that their Lone Pine
would now be shipped in 473-ml cans,
rather than the traditional 650-ml bottles

Some interesting malt and hop balance on the aroma, I am used to far more spicey punch from Belgian ales on the tongue. This seems to be lacking in that department though it does mask the 7% alcohol. Again, not a bad beer, just not a strong one. 

Beer Musketeer Stevil St Evil recently extolled to me the virtues of drinking stouts in the Summer. To me, they are Winter beers, full stop, end of sentence, period. So I gave it a Brew-Ha-Ha! go with the Wellington County Brewery Chocolate Milk Stout recently. I came away thinking, nope, still a winter beer. Also up against their Imperial Russian Stout, one of Ontario's best stouts, this was too light. Then it dawned on me. While I was trying it in the Summer, I wasn't trying it under "Summer Conditions." So I grabbed a second bottle on Tuesday and drank it on my patio on what was a beautiful sunny day. True Summer Conditions. Okay, now we're talkin'... While the Imperial Russian might have been a bit too much for a patio beer, the Chocolate Milk Stout was better mix. Ladies and gentlemen - perhaps we have found a Summer Stout. Still a little light for a stout, the fact is I don't want anything heavy on the patio at Donny's Bar and Grill. Some light coffee and cocoa on the nose, the almost-too-light chocolate taste belies the 7.2% alcohol-level. Again, this is almost like a Stout Light. But that works well on the patio.

Okay, some huge news out of the tiny Bellwoods Brewery/Brewpub in Toronto yesterday as they announced they would be adding to their operations by expanding into a massive structure on Dupont to keep up with the demand for their superior line of craft beers - yeah, Witchshark IIPA, I'm talking to you!! 

Remember, people, strap in your loved ones
and for crying out loud, please drive safely!!

While keeping the small retail outlet/brewpub on Ossington - so enjoyed by Beer Musketeers Glenn, Cat and myself back in February - they found their retail store was actually running out of beer by Sunday nights. Hence the expansion - which is frankly still months away. All the City Hall paperwork (worked for a municipal government - aye carumba, whatta red-tape, bureaucratic headache they are in for in the next few months... saying a prayer for them right now) and, of course, the making of the Dupont storage warehouse into a properly-equipped brewery to go. Read about it here at: Bellwood Brewery Ready For The Big Leagues

Okay, still don't believe that Ann Wilson has one of the most powerful voices in rock? Fine then. Watch as she reduces Robert Plant to near-tears with her rendition of Stairway to Heaven at the Kennedy Center Honours Led Zeppelin Night a few years ago. And hey, that Nancy Wilson is pretty damn fine on the acoustic guitar... as the icing on the cake. It's right here at: Heart Kills Stairway To Heaven

But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

Liz flies in and gets crafty...

The scene of the crime - Fionn MacCool's where Liz
finally got to try some of Ontario's finest craft beers!

Every couple of years or so, my high school friend, Liz, flies in from Coquitlam, BC, her now-grown kids in tow to see her Mom and make the rounds of the old stompin' grounds in Oakville, where we both grew up. Well, she seems to have grown up - I just got older with very little happening there in the way of personal growth. (That said, what should bring me shame is actually a personal point of pride. As Canuck rocker Bryan Adams once sang, 18 Til I Die...) So as we always do, we connected to make plans this past week with both Wednesday and Thursday night wide open for me. As the third part of this trio, Janet, was feeling under the weather Wednesday so Thursday it was. Except poor Janet was still down on Thursday and since it was the only option left, the trio became a duo.

Now because we're long-time friends, it means not only is there a liberal amount of dissing but it has to remain a No BS Zone because we know a lot of each other's dirty little secrets, dating back decades. Sadly, her dirty secrets are way better than mine.

Me and Liz during a visit home a couple of
summers back. I'd say this is how we looked
in high school but no one's gonna buy that.
But hey, this is how we acted in high school

Liz actually caught me on the GO Train as I was headed into Toronto's Festival of Beers last Saturday and upon hearing my destination, she quickly pointed out how just two summers ago when she visited, she brought some Muskoka Mad Tom IPA over to Donny's Bar and Grill and how I recoiled in horror trying it. This was during my Labatt's Blue Days. (Okay, Labatt's Blue Decades, if you wanna be a stickler.) "And now look at you," she chirped, "You're some sort of beer gourmet!" (Gourmet, no. Enthusiast? Yes, I will cop to that. Enthusiastically even.)

Now leaving Ontario in 1980, with stops in Banff and Vancouver before landing in Coquitlam, Liz has a considerable head-start on me when it comes to craft beers. By the mid-1980s, Granville Island Brewing and Okanagan Springs Brewing had popped up in BC with Calgary newcomer Big Rock Brewing also sending tons of their new beers to the Left Coast. Here in Ontario, only Wellington Brewery in Guelph had started up by that point and against the big three at the time - Molson's, Labatt and Carling - they weren't getting much attention. (That has since changed.) So Liz had years of discovering there were also other beers not made by the Big Three, worthy of her attention, much like Beer Musketeer Stevil St Evil discovered when he shifted out to the west coast in 1985.

I have NO idea who this lady is but she's wearing a Led
Zeppelin T-shirt and is certified in pouring the perfect
pint of Guinness so boys, here's your keeper there!

But Liz was now back on my turf and when she asked where we were going for the evening's festivities, I remembered a former co-worker telling me about a place in north Oakville that I had to try, given its craft beer selection. I knew the mall so off we went. We quickly ruled out the Kelsey's and Turtle Jack's, knowing their taps were mostly mainstream and figured it must be Fionn MacCool's. The Guinness harp in their logo was a bit of a tip-off.

Holy crap, did we pick the right night as that particular day is also the Irish pub's Craft Addict Thursday, including a large number Liz had not tried or even heard of. And it was $5 down the line for the lot of them. If you wanted a 20-ounce draft, your choices were Steam Whistle, Barking Squirrel Amber Lager, Shock Top Belgian White or whatever happened to be on Creemore Spring's rotating tap that day (their Premium Lager, in this case.) If you preferred 12-ounce bottles or 16-ounce cans, your choices were, in order of ascending ABV, Mill Street Organic Lager, Muskoka Detour Session IPA, Rolling Rock (not really a craft beer but very accurately described as an extra pale lager), Bard's Gold (gluten-free crap), Hops & Bolt's India Pale Lager, Mill Street Coffee Porter (now we're talkin'...) Collective Art's Rhyme & Reason Pale Ale, Hops & Robbers IPA, Spearhead's Moroccan Brown Ale and Hawaiian Style Pale Ale, Amsterdam Boneshaker IPA and last but definitely not least (more like most, actually), Unibroue's Trois Pistoles Belgian Strong Ale.

Sorry, Beer Musketeer Glenn, but in the
pale ale battle between Rhyme & Reason
and Spearhead Hawaiian Style, Liz chose
my favourite! I win, you lose, game over!

While, of course, Liz is well-versed in the Left Coast craft beers, it was left to me to guide her with the unknown Ontario ones so I got her started off with my favourite pale ale, Spearhead's Hawaiian Style while I tucked into a Rhyme & Reason, contract brewed by my homies at Nickel Brook since I hadn't had one in a while. At least a month, anyway. Having never had a beer with pineapple essence before, Liz, who, like I said, knows her stuff, was quite impressed. However, while I followed up with a pint of Barking Squirrel (which I have never had on tap  - I hereby further pronounce this beverage to be delicious... since I have before), she ordered some Rhyme & Reason after sampling a sip of mine. In this case, she was again a big fan of the citrus infusion within Rhyme. Suffice it to say, my gal Lizbert (yeah, we called her that and no, I can't remember why) was really enjoying some of Ontario's best. While I knew my next was gonna be the Coffee Porter, Liz's was mapped out - the Boneshaker IPA so that Beer Musketeer Cat could be representin' in the hizzouse with an Amsterdam brew. (Also, it's very good so...) Technical glitch. They were out. The Fionn MacCool cupboards were Boneshaker bare. So I decided I needed Liz to settle on ongoing argument between Beer Musketeer Glenn and myself. I favour Hawaiian Style as Ontario's best pale ale while Glenn favours Rhyme & Reason.

The grand finale - and oh man, was it grand!!

I said, "Look, settle a dispute for me. Those two beers you just had - one is my favourite pale ale, the other is my buddy Glenn's. Since I'm driving, you can have as much of my next beer as you want but I want you to order your favourite of the two, okay?" And I waited... and waited... for the waitress' return. (Not long, within a minute or two, actually - she was great and super-knowledgeable about their beers.) Ordering my Coffee Porter, I looked at Liz, who didn't know which beer was whose favourite and waited. Finally, she spoke. "Can I have another of that Hawaiian one?" Glenn, I would like to offer up these solemn words of condolence. IN YER FACE, MOFO! I WIN! YOU LOSE! Okay, sorry, man... actually, I like both beers a lot so that might be a little over the top. I apologize. I'll tone it down. But one thing first... WHAT HAS TWO THUMBS AND WINS?? THIS GUY!!! Okay, now I'm fine. Honestly. Sorry about your defeat of tragic Greek proportion, bro. *Quietly does an awkward little white boy victory dance*

Went from "don't like coffee" to "interesting"
to "getting chocolate now" to "lots in this" to
"this is really good" in literally milliseconds

But a funny thing happened while Liz was tasting my Coffee Porter. Ever see someone do a 180 within seconds? I did. Liz started by saying, "Yeah, I don't like coffee so this won't be my thing." Takes a sip, makes funny face. "Oh, yeah, lotsa coffee in that." Takes another sip. "It's very interesting, though." Takes another sip. "Getting some chocolate now." Takes another sip. "Yeah, there's more to this." Takes another sip. "Wow, actually, this is really good!" Takes another sip. Before she can speak again: "Liz, give me my damn beer back."

For our finale, I opted for the low-ABV Organic Lager (4.2%) but insisted Liz try the high-ABV Trois Pistoles (9%) simply because I've never had it and wanted to sample. As always, Quebec's Unibroue doesn't make an uncomplicated beer and we were getting different things. I got dark fruits - plums and prunes - while Liz got grapes and raisins, saying it had almost a wine quality to it. And from there, it kept changing and we both discovered more and more to its flavours. She got some sweetness, I got some bitterness... and on and on...

Anyone else here get the impression that her T-Shirt
is actually talking to the Bud Light? That was my guess

If I had to declare a winner from the night, I'm sure Liz would agree it was the Trois Pistoles. Just an outstanding - and very complex - beer. But as always, fantastic to see Lizbert, one of my oldest and most dearly-loved friends. As I have said before, there is no friend like an old friend. Plus there was beer...

Another winner on the night was my co-worker and good friend Gordo. He recently dedicated one of those glass-doored cabinets that grandmothers keep their fine china in to a beer glass collection. Since his daughter, Sarah, works in our local hang-out, Joe Dog's, he already has the usual culprits in there - Canadian, Coors Light, Keith's, Heineken, Stella Artois and a few others. Since he's given me some of his doubles - a Keith's and a Mill Street - I have been questioned as to when I will be adding to his collection. At this point, I should note Gordo gets his glasses through dubious means. He takes his elderly mother out every Thursday to get her hair done, run errands and what-have-you and they always stop for a bite and a pint. For being the humongous waste of carbon he is, he's actually a decent son. And then, Gordo's Mom asks the waitress if she can keep the glass! Who's gonna say no to that??? (Or she just says, "Screw it" and pops it directly into her purse.) Because I am a better friend than he deserves, I said to our waitress, "How much of a tip would I have leave to get one of those Barking Squirrel pint glasses?" She quietly spirited one to me, which I quickly stuck just outside the patio because I'm not parading that through the bar. Now, Gordo's Beer Glass Collection has a little more craft credibility. I plan to add more. And one young lady got one helluva tip. (She and her beau are taking a trip to Ireland soon... so random-act-of-kindness time, right?)

Okay, next up: how Vicky and Lloyd's Backyard BBQ and Rockin' Outdoor Band Bash got shut down by the cops. And after that, how My Son's Camp + Motley Crue = a blog on Scottish beers. Stay tuned. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! Until next time, I remain...