When the joke is no longer funny

I thought this Donald double-whammy from Northern Maverick
Brewing, soon to be located in Toronto, was actually kind of
chuckle-worthy at first. Not guffaw-worthy. Just a chuckle. But
then things went down in Charlottesville and suddenly the face
on their Fake News Ale was very unfunny. The brewery has
since announced all Trump imagery is getting yanked pronto.

I avoid politics for the same reason most sane people avoid kale. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

For nearly three decades as a reporter, I had to cover municipal, Provincial and federal politics and frankly, when my run as a journalist was done, so too was all forms of politics in my life. It's boring, it's repetitive and frankly, while the various sides on the left and right sneer at each other, I was able to clearly see they were simply two sides of the same coin. They both believe they are on the side of the angels. And they are both wrong. Both sides are all about getting re-elected. And little more. It's a gold-plated gig. Is that a cynical view? Well, all I can say is go cover it for over 25 years and give me your answer afterwards. I'll wait.

So while it might seem like this column is about politics, it is not as I have little interest in either side. It is, however, hopefully a look at what society might want to consider as right and wrong. At least from the little rock I sit on.

You see, Northern Maverick Brewing, which will soon open its own brewery on Brunswick Street in Toronto, has (had) a beer called Fake News Ale. I first saw it at the BurlOnTap Beer Festival in Burlington a couple of weeks back. The label lampooned President Donald Trump and it gave me kind of a chuckle. Completing the joke was a hat that said, "Make Beer Great Again" so yeah, they were clearly poking some fun here.

I am certainly not a fan of Trump's but to be honest, I wasn't too keen on Hillary, either. I thought they were both remarkably poor choices for their parties.

After the Charlottesville, Virginia conflict, the
magazine, The Economist, made it clear that
they were NOT happy with the President's
response to the situation, portraying him as
little more than a booster to the Neo-Nazis. 

That said, and I am being brutally honest here, who the hell cares what I think about either? I'm Canadian. Not my circus, not my monkeys. America made its choice and I simply shrugged and thought, "Well, if that's what they want."

So like others, I have sat back and watched what is going on south of the border. I seldom comment on it but I do watch with interest in that we are landlocked with America and I want to know what's potentially spilling over onto our side of the 49th Parallel.

Some of it was quite amusing. To be honest, I miss Sean Spicer's press conferences where he was put in the unenviable position of translating or defending his new Boss' words. It always went something like this...
Spicer: "It was the best-attended inauguration in history!"
Reporter: "Actually, no it wasn't. When Obama..."
Spicer: "You shut the hell up, jackass!!!"
I'm sorry but like I said, I find stuff like that funny. I'm a little sick and twisted that way.

So anyway, after being amused by Northern Maverick's merchandise, something happened the very next day in Charlottesville, Virginia, that turned my stomach. When the city announced that they would be removing statues of General Robert E Lee, there was a pretty big protest - one that resulted in a tragic death.

As it turns out, the person that would have hated
statues of Robert E Lee was, in fact, Robert E Lee
himself, who stated that in his own writings that
honouring South generals with statues after the
war might "keep open the sores of war" and that
they would add to the "difficulties under which
the Southern people labour." So he was opposed.

And who was protesting the statue's removal? Well, let's see - you had white supremacists, the Ku Klux Klan and Neo-Nazis. Now a quick history lesson. Robert E Lee was the general leading the South in the America Civil War, which ran from 1861 to 1865. He didn't want slavery repealed. Leading the North (for a large part) was General Ulysses S Grant, a familiar name, who fought to have slavery abolished. The North was the Union, the South was the Confederates. Lots of famous American names involved but long story short, the North won. End of story, right?

Some 620,000 soldiers on both sides died before it was over and it seems some of the wounds never healed. A lot of people in the South were pissed and erected statues of General Lee and others as an "eff-you" to the Union. They did so against the expressed wishes of Lee himself. But to many, since the man was fighting to keep slavery alive, these monuments are, at best, as racist as shit (yes, at "best") and at worst, morally repugnant.

So when this so-called "Freedom Rally" was held in Charlottesville on August 12th, the idiots from the Ku Klux Klan, Neo-Nazis and white supremacists took to the streets, protesting the removal of the Lee statue, chanting such "delightful" things as "One people, one nation, end immigration", "Jews will not replace us" and "Go back to Africa, n*****s!"

I'm not seeing a lot of cultural and gender diversity with
this Freedom Rally. White, male and moronic seems to be
the common thread here. Their parents must be so proud.

The rally was all white males as far as I could see and had a collective IQ of maybe 50. The counter-protestors, who showed up in equal number, were all of colours, genders and cultures. You know, like America itself.

It was a horrific clash but not without precedent. You see, back in 1939 to 1946, people also fought against the Nazis. I know both my grandfathers were involved. But instead of the Union vs the Confederates, Round Two was highlighted by the Allies (yay!) and the Axis (boooooo.)

As previously mentioned, the clash ended with the tragic death of one counter-protester but believe it or not, it got worse. You see, President Trump, who referred to the two sides as the "alt-left" and the "alt-right" was handed an opportunity to speak out against the hate of the protesters with their Tiki torches and disgusting chants. He declined, blaming both sides, instead. To that end, he made it clear he thought the "violent" people protesting the Nazis were somehow on equal footing to the "bad" Nazis themselves.

You and me both, Miss. My grandfathers would be
rolling in their graves knowing this fight was still
happening on America's soil. It's really sickening.

Violent? Lemme tell you something, sir. In WWII, they had guns with bullets, tanks with shells and planes with big-ass bombs. That shit was violent! Two days later, he would bemoan the movement to remove "our beautiful statues" depicting the Southern generals (remember now: the pro-slavery guys), showing that he either doesn't truly understand racism or doesn't care. I think the President probably should care. Just sayin'.

Now here's why I don't think politics plays a role here. I have friends whose politics are right of centre, just as I have many more on the left of centre. As a group, I suspect those on the right find Neo-Nazis, white supremacists and the Ku Klux Klan to be disgusting individuals. And in WWII, it wasn't the "alt-left" and the "ale-right" fighting the Nazis and fascism. It was alt-everyone! Personal politics were left at the door as they all entered Boot Camps.

The fall-out from the rally was interesting as many of the "Freedom" protesters recognized by their employees were fired in many cases and disowned by their own families. Apparently, many companies and families alike didn't like the idea that Bob in Accounting might just be a Nazi or that Pete might start railing against the "Jewish threat" at Thanksgiving dinner. Go figure.

Whether it's domestic terrorism or terrorism abroad,
this is my stand. I believe if we all sat down with some
hoppy beers and talked things out, terrorism could end.
Well, at least the cultures allowed to drink beer, anyway.
Is it a simplistic and sophomoric solution to a complex
issue? Yes, it is. I am simplistic and sophomoric at best.

You can talk about ISIS and all the other terrorist threats in the world but this was home-grown. Born, bred and made in the USA terrorism. Probably best to fix that first while you're looking out at the evils in the world.

In the end, the only response that I liked was from the makers of Tiki Torches themselves who were appalled to see their product being carried by the "Freedom" protestors. In a statement the following day, TIKI Brand made it clear they were "not associated in any way" with the demonstration and were "deeply saddened and disappointed" that their products were associated with the marchers. "We do not support their message or the use of our products in this way."

So what on Earth does any of this have to do with a Toronto craft brewer??? Ah yes, well, after the events in Charlottesville, one Toronto beer writer, Mike Burton (@beermostly) made it clear he could no longer stomach even a joking reference to President Trump on a beer can, such as that on Fake News Ale. Many agreed, including the Canadian Beer News (@cdnbeernews) who said the brewery would get no further coverage from them until the imagery was pulled.

Northern Maverick owner-founder Jason Kaptyn, left, and
head brewer Andrew Crowder pose out front of 115 Bathurst
Street, soon to be the home of Northern Maverick Brewing.

I have to believe that after the events in Charlottesville, the brewery was thinking the same thing because later the same day, they issued a press release saying all-Trump-related imagery would be gone. Like instantly. In that release, likely penned by owner Jason Kaptyn, the brewery said, "With regard for the escalating situation across the border and feedback from our own craft beer community, we have decided to pull Fake News Ale. The idea behind FNA has been very clear from the moment it was launched - to shed light on the unfathomable actions and policies of the current (Trump) administration and help people affected by them."

So, like the rest of us, they get it. The joke is no longer funny. And they acted accordingly. Frankly, I'm gonna give them a well-deserved chance. Making a mistake is easy. Fixing it that quickly, especially when it involves your flagship beer, is a little tougher. As for the President, I'm not sure why he loves those slavery-soaked statues in the South so much. I mean, he dumped Steve Bannon this week. So it's clear he has no issues discarding calcified relics that are cold, hard tributes to the "joys" of racism. Man, I tell you, it's like you can't even perpetuate centuries of oppression anymore without facing some sort of backlash on social media. It's a bugger. But ladies and gents, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

BurlOnTap sets up shop... indoors!

Given my two experiences at the beautiful Waterfront
Hotel at the foot of Brant Street, it seems when a Beer
Fest happens INSIDE this building, no one is exposed to
the elements! What kind of witchcraft is this, anyway??

The first ever Burlington Beer Festival was held in Spencer Smith Park over three days in July 2014. It rained. A lot.

The first ever Burlington Winter Beer Festival was held in the Waterfront Hotel's ballroom in February 2015. Being as it was indoors, it neither rained nor snowed on the event.

The second Burlington Beer Festival was held in July 2015, again at Spencer Smith Park over three days. Once again, it rained. A lot. It was a damn mucky go of it. It didn't soak my personal enthusiasm for the event but it sure as hell dampened ticket sales.

The second Burlington Winter Beer Festival was held again in the Waterfront Hotel's downstairs ballroom at the end of January 2016. Oddly, once again, no snow or rain came inside the building. It's the damnedest thing. It's like walls and a roof somehow protect people from the elements. I figure I'll have to ask American astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson how exactly that works. I mean, who knew? Gotta be some kind of weird-ass magic, eh? Bricks and mortar are protecting people from the weather? That's just crazy talk.

This young couple navigates their way through the
mud at the 2015 Burlington Beer Festival at Spencer
Smith Park in Burlington. After two straight years of
rain for the Summer Beer Fest, organizers fell apart
over whether the 2016 one should be held indoors.

In the end, organizers were so at odds whether or not to hold the 2016 Summer Burlington Beer Festival indoors or outdoors, that the whole thing just fell apart. The group went their separate ways. I'm not sure about other participants but I had to drink on my own patio last Summer. Like some kind of goddamn savage. (I did enjoy the trip home, though. All five steps of it. Zero cost. No broken bones. It worked.)

There were other costs associated with the Burlington Beer Fest that made it a costly venture, former co-organizer "Downtown" Wayne Brown told me. Such as hiring five off-duty police officers over the course of three days. Or the dozens of porta-potties. Hell, just the fencing around the park (to keep out the riff-raff, although I got in anyway.) "Do you know it cost us $10,000 just to bring electricity into the park?" Holy crap, that's some serious Benjamin Franklin's!! (You see what I did there. Because, you know, electricity... and money. Okay, if you stopped reading right now, I wouldn't blame you.)

So there was no 2016 Burlington Beer Fest but Snapd Burlington, a media outfit, swooped in to hold the 2017 Burlington Winter Beer Festival (I was out of town and missed it) and according to the website, will be doing a 2018 Burlington Winter Beer Festival.

I know these people!!! That's the lovely Kylie, my own
absolute favouritest ever Beer Technician on the right.
Granted, she only makes cameo appearances at Rib
Eye Jack's Ale House as full-time nursing is keeping
her pretty busy these days. Oh and the older dude on
the left is THE Downtown Wayne Brown, the man, the
legend, the guy who does a lot of beer festival stuff for
our fair city. This time, it's the BurlOnTap Festival.

So good on them but it looked like this would be the second straight Summer without a Beer Fest in Burlington.

Whoa, not so fast, says Downtown Wayne Brown. You see, he hasn't spend the last year, crying in his beloved brown ale over the loss of the Summer Festival. No sirree, Bob, he has been organizing a brand spankin' new one. Now obviously, the name Burlington Beer Festival is taken so he can't use that. So Wayne has created his own Beer Fest called BurlOnTap and as he was one of the people tired of all the damn rain, it will be indoors at the Waterfront Hotel on August 11 and 12. For the Friday session, it's 4 pm to 11 pm and the Saturday one is noon to 11 pm. Tickets are $30 for singles, $55 for pairs or a four-pack for $100 and are readily available through burlontap.com.

So indoors finally wins, eh, Wayne? "Yes, that takes the weather out of play." But, dude, what if it's a beautiful, sunny day? Downtown Brown, as always, had the answer.

"Doors open wide to a huge patio. If the weather's nice, we can probably fit 150 to 200 people out there. The patio is right by the water overlooking the lake so it's going to be great. The patio is sponsored, of course, by Nickel Brook (Brewing), the best brewery around." I would agree with my complete bias towards them fully acknowledged.

This couple, Patti and Mike McMillan, is in the business of getting you
AND your car home safely if you've had too many wobbly-pops. The
pair owns Driver-Seat in Burlington and are now involved with Wayne's
BurlOnTap Beer Festival. Sounds like this could be mutually-beneficial.

The problem with depending on the weather, Wayne said was "a couple of hours of rain and people stop coming." Meaning no walk-in traffic, which is killer for any outdoor festival, beer or otherwise. But frankly, that patio takes the issue out of play - you can still enjoy your tasty craft beer in the sunshine!

The two logos created by Patti McMillan for the
BurlOnTap Festival. The top one is the longer
horizontal one to be used on banners and the like
while the bottom one is used for their social media.

And it turned out Wayne has a partner helping him out... or rather, partners! "So Mike McMillan, who owns Driver Seat Burlington, which is a business that will drive you home if you've had too much but also drives your car home too. Anyways, he's the partner at my Beer Festival and his wife, Patti (co-owner of Driver Seat) is the graphic artist (for the event). She's been a big help to us also."

Okay, since this is a Beer Festival, the real question is this: What breweries will be there? Why, I'm glad you asked. Of course, we have our local ones, Nickel Brook and The Hamilton Brewery (now three years old) plus a few more from further away. Pint Pursuits Brewing (Toronto-St. Thomas), Katalyst Brewing (Toronto), Rhythm & Brews Brewing (Cambridge), Four Fathers Brewing (Rockwood), MacKinnon Brothers Brewing (Bath), Orange Snail Brewers (Milton), Beau's All-Natural Brewing (Vankleek Hills - and also "Yay!"), Northern Maverick Brewing (Toronto) Lock Street Brewing (St Catharines) and Goose Island Toronto Brewhouse.

Not a huge stable, I grant you, but there's only so many breweries you really want to put in one room. Besides, I've never had a chance to enjoy the products from about half of these so that's always cool. But if you want a break from beer, Pelee Island Winery will be there, as will Cole Point Cider (made by the Bergeron Estate Winery out of Adolphustown) and Junction 56 Distillery (Stratford). Brown said that Junction 56 "are going to be serving vodka and whiskey in small amounts." So you know, if you want a chaser with that beer.

While I'm excited to try the beers from less-known (to me) breweries, Downtown Brown already has a favourite picked out.

Head brewer Daniel, left, and general manager Ivan
MacKinnon of MacKinnon Brothers Brewing will be at the
BurlOnTap Beer Festival despite the fact that August is a
pretty busy month in the farming community. Hey, all work
and no play makes a farm boy thirsty so welcome aboard!!

"I think one (brewery) that's going to impress a lot of people is the MacKinnon Brothers Brewery from Bath, Ontario, near Kingston. They've been farming the same land since 1784. They've got some really good beer right now. Everything you drink in your glass from MacKinnon is grown on their farm. So that'll be a big hit."

How did he managed to track down this tiny brewery from Bath? "I went to the Hamilton Food and Drink Show and they had a booth there. Sweeney was the guy from the family manning the booth. I had an (Eight Man) English Pale Ale and it was absolutely delicious. And they had a bunch of cans (of it) on display. So I said, 'Sweeney, can I buy a can to take home and show my friends?' And he said, 'Just take it.' And I did and the people who tried it really liked it."

"So I told him that they should come to the Beer Fest and he said they couldn't because they're farming that time in August. I said, 'Sweeney, you gotta come. Your beer would be so popular.' I finally convinced him to come and they're gonna stay in the Waterfront Hotel and they're really looking forward to it."

Here's one soggy beer writer at the 2014 Burlington
Beer Festival. I'm not sure who this dunce is but
clearly, he doesn't know any better than to get out
of the rain. Trust me, that was one rainy afternoon.

In the meantime, Downtown Brown has been shuttled from event to event throughout Burlington for the past two months, offering up tickets as prizes in contests and the like. "I think I've generated a lot of interest in this event so Mike, Patti and I really looking forward to it."

And when he says "all-ages" (well, 19-plus and older), he's not kidding. While Millennials flock to events like this, it seems the other end of the scale will be represented, as well. "There's a couple of elder residences - I'm not sure if I should be calling them nursing homes anymore - but they're going to be bringing groups of people in so that'll be fun - a real mix of young and old and everything in between." Hey, the more the merrier, right?

Hey, what about food? That's covered, he assured me. "The Beaver and Bulldog Pub is upstairs and they're going to be supplying pizza and they don't have far to deliver it," he laughed.

As for the costs associated with the old Summer Fests? Also off the table. "You want electricity?" he grinned. "There's a socket on the wall. Go plug yourself in." Sound like a plan. So once again, if you're up for it, go to: burlontap.com. And hey, if you need Mike and Patti's service before, during or even well after the BurlOnTap Beer Fest, go to: driverseatinc.com/locations/burlington. It's the smart and safe way to get home! But guys and doll, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...

Detroit Rock City

From bankrupt to beautiful in a matter of a few years. In
2013, the City of Detroit filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy.
Four years later, it's a vibrant jewel on the banks on Lake
St Clair between St Clair River to the north and Detroit
River to the south, the connection between Lake Erie and
Lake Huron. Great place for some boating, we learned.

On our way into Gross Pointe Farms, Michigan three weekends ago, my son, David and I stopped at a McDonald's to grab a quick bite since neither of us had eaten lunch after crossing the border from Sarnia in the US.

Little did I know that we were actually three minutes away from our final destination, the warm home of my high school buddy Greg, aka "Cheesey" and his lovely wife April.

That said, the Redmond men will always obey their stomachs first and had to fuel the machines for the day-long shenanigans to come. David found us a table while I waited for the food and before long, we were chowing down. About 10 minutes into the meal, I noticed something. From the servers right through to the customers, my boy and I were the only white people in the entire place. Now David would never notice something like that in a million years and frankly, I was impressed with myself for taking that long to notice. I have always said to myself that I don't care about things like skin colour. Turns out I truly don't. Nice to have that confirmed as this situation was truly a first for me, like, ever!

In fact, the surroundings ended up being a lot of fun as we were in the middle of a bunch of cute 11 and 12-year old girls from some kind of Summer Camp.

The difference in this street near the Detroit waterfront in just
four short years is uncanny. The bottom picture is from 2013,
the top one is present day. When the city bottomed out, big
money investors came in, snatched up properties for a song
and started rejuvenating the area. As you can see, some of the
facades were saved and transformed into much much more.

They had to sing a special Grace song before their food arrived and while I can't remember the main body of the song, the chorus was catchy enough that I could join right in. So I did. Loudly and to the giggles of the happy girls next to us. When the Grace song was over, a camp counsellor came over and thanked me with a big smile. "That song always needed a deeper tone to it!" And as we were leaving, little voices yelled out, "Bye, Donny and David. Have fun!"

And thus was my introduction to the present day state of race relations in Detroit. Is it totally happy faces of all colours and cheerful Grace songs throughout the city? All hugs and kisses? No, of course not. No city is, even in Canada. But the tensions of the past, well, perhaps they've eased somewhat. That's just the view of an outsider (myself) looking in but from what I viewed in the downtown core that night when Cheesey and I were wheeling from bars to breweries, it's a lot better than it was in the not-too-distant past. And no one is prouder of the transformation from ghost-town to vibrant city than Cheesey himself, who was a part of the city's humongous and speedy turn-around.

Just a happy boy singing a song as we jetted
around Lake St Clair in Cheesey's boat. My
son, David, had the time of his life visiting
Cheesey and April. "When can we go back?"
he asked as soon as we started driving home.

But Cheesey was very honest about it as we were driving through the city. He showed me the rejuvenated areas, explaining who brought the big bucks to buy shuttered buildings on the cheap and then turn them into gleaming urban jewels. But at the same time, we'd cross a street into a different area, still very run down, and he would admit, "Yeah, this is still a pretty unsafe place to be. In this neighbourhood, it doesn't matter what colour you are. If you look like you have money, you will get robbed." When it comes to his city, Cheesey is an open and honest civic ambassador. But in the shiny new areas, Cheesey's eyes lit up as he explained the remarkable renewal.

But again, from an outsider looking in, the large pockets of urban rejuvenation were mind-boggling. This was not what I was expecting at all. Yes, there are still areas you would avoid for personal safety reasons but that's as true in Toronto as it is in Detroit. Any urban centre, really.

But hey, is this a column about urban-decay-turned-around or is it a column about beer? Hmmm, okay, so far the former so time to switch gears. Again, gotta keep with the Motor City theme here so I'm hitting the gas and switching gears to beers, baby!

Now yesterday, I explained how Cheesey and I landed at HopCat, the bar with a 130 taps of craft beer goodness. (Okay, okay 129 because one was Pabst Blue Ribbon but still...) But still, how do we top that?

At Batch Brewing, you can see the size of the vats
behind me to the right. I would literally be taller
than them if I stood up. From from tiny vats come
some insanely great beers. What great ambiance in
this place, too, as Millennials played classic board
games into the night. The spirit in there was great.

Well, turns out that Cheesey is not only a great civic ambassador but he knows where all the great little craft breweries are scattered throughout the city. That makes him one helluva tour guide where I'm concerned, I gotta tell ya.

Next stop was Batch Brewing, a small outfit on Porter Street, literally a stone's throw from the Detroit River. Well, if you can throw a stone seven city blocks, anyway. "I'm not sure what this building was before," said Cheesey as we pulled up. He figured a good guess would be car-parts related but couldn't quite remember. Remember, a lot of buildings both big and small have turned over in the city during past few years so it's impossible to remember them all.

Once inside, two things became instantly apparent. By Batch Brewing, they mean small batch brewing as the vats were not even my height. Probably less than 1,000 litres (264 gallons) each. And lining the picnic tables inside were dozens of Millennials playing classic board games, such as Battleship, Clue, Connect Four, even Cribbage. That made for a lot of happy chatter and laughter. Hell, in one case, a young Mom was breast-feeding her child as she dealt the cards between herself and her hubby. Talk about a nurturing environment, not to mention the innate ability women have to multi-task. (We guys do not share that skill, ladies.)

I have cropped off a portion of the building on the right but this is the
best shot of the brewery's exterior I could find on the interwebs. As you
can see, they've incorporated an old train car into the building and
turned it into a little more real estate. Batch means small batch here!

But again, let's get away from urban renewal and, uhhh, breast milk and concentrate on beer here. (I can honestly say that is the first mention of breast milk in this little column ever.) Okay, I mentioned yesterday that I had tried a Batch beer at HopCat so let's start there. As my first beer of the night at HopCat, I went with Batch's Keeping Up With The Juices New England IPA. Greg had explained they were a local nanobrewery in the Corktown District of Detroit and hey, it turns out that was a damn fine choice.

For an area nowhere near the country's east coast, some of these Detroit brewers are cranking out some of the most phenomenal New England IPAs ever.

I was NOT leaving Batch Brewing without this two
litre (68 ounce) jug of Keeping Up With The Juices
New England IPA. At 6.6% but just 33 IBUs, I was
stunned at the hoppiness of this one. Truly delicious.

While I had enjoyed it at HopCat, it wasn't until we arrived at Batch that I realized that Keeping Up With The Juices was only 33 IBUs (international bitterness units). That is exceptionally low for an IPA, any IPA! And yet, they squeezed a strong hop quality into this one. At 6.6%, this was all mango and fruit on the nose with some strong orange rind on the tongue and a wheatiness on the back end. Definitely wheat malts in the mix here. But just a stunning beer! So much so, I brought a bloody big jug of it home with me in the trunk, among many others - none of them claimed at the border.

The beauty of having David in the car is that he can actually charm both Canadian and American border guards, just by being himself - chatty and happy. He actually made them smile in both directions. "So this is a father-son team?" the stern Canadian border guard asked me, looking at our passports. "Yupper do!" David piped up loudly. "Best father and son ever!" The guy just started laughing and waved us through. "Yupper do," I heard him chuckling as we started to drive.

But *heavy sigh* this isn't about urban renewal or breast milk or cheerful sons, this is about beer, dammit! See how easily I get sidetracked?

I lucked out here. I enjoyed a tasty Short's Brewing
(Bellaire, Michigan) Huma Lupa Licious IPA just
three weeks before Lagunitas (so actually Heineken)
bought a 19.9% stake in the brewery. They were
completely independent when I enjoyed this beer!
Cheesey's boat, Camella 2, provided the backdrop.

While at Batch, Cheesey and I both dove into a Perle's Pale Ale, a SMASH (single malt and single hop) ale that uses English Pearl Malts and German Pearl Hops. That's what I'm holding up in the picture. At 5.6% and 30 IBUs, this was a great little pearl, uhh, pale ale with some light grapefruit on the nose and a fruit and malt combo on the tongue. Light and refreshing, a really great little Summer ale.

That was the last stop on Cheesey and Donny's Friday Night's Adventure but hey, we had Saturday night to come. Or so we thought. Lemme explain. Our day began at the Gross Pointe Farms Marina. Each of the five different Gross Pointe communities has their own marina "because we pay taxes in our cities," Cheesey explained. So basically, free country club if you pay your taxes! Nice set-up! But a stop at the local market, owned by a buddy of Cheesey, saw me struggling to decide which beer to bring along on the day which would involve extensive travels through Lake St Clair on their speedboat, Camella 2. (Each of the initials in Camella is the first initial of their seven grandchildren. Pretty good wordplay there.)

In the end, I chose the Short's Brewing Huma Lupa Licious IPA because, well, mostly just the name, I guess, and the fact I've never had any of their beers.

At the moment, this is Cheesey's go-to beer, Stroh's
Bohemian-Style Pilsner. The brewery's history in
Detroit is something Cheesey appreciates and hey,
for a macro, this was pretty tasty. A good example
of a German style pilsner, this had some flavour!!

Ironically, just a few days ago, the Bellaire, Michigan brewery sold a 19.9% stake to Lagunitas. And of course, Lagunitas itself was bought out 100% by Heineken a couple of months back. So this is actually selling a fifth of the place to an international giant. While Short's can still claim independence (it takes 25% outside ownership before that claim cannot be made), I am wary that this is, well, the thin edge of the wedge, so to speak. I can't help but worry that Short's will be 100% Heineken's property within a couple of years.

But hey, at least I can make the claim that when I drank Huma Lupa Licious IPA, they were 100% indie, man! And it showed. At 7.7% and 96 IBUs, this was definitely an indie west-coast IPA. Jackhammered your tongue with five different hops, I know that malts must have been used (due to necessity) but you'd never know it as this is just a hop explosion here! Grapefruit and citrus on the nose, orange and pine on the tongue, this was just a few ABV points away from being a Double IPA. Man, this is a beast. Heineken, stay the hell away from this beer! And any further involvement in the brewery for that matter. You got your 20% so now please go away! Don't wreck a great thing! Also 19.9%? Zup with that? Is that a thing where $19.99 sounds like less than $20? Big brewing corporations continue to baffle me with their crazy (but no doubt carefully calculated) number games.

Our host, Greg, strikes a "cheesey" pose with this
billboard at Mike's On The Water, a restaurant on
Lake St Clair where boaters simply dock outside
the fun place and head on in for some great food.

After David had ample time to play on the marina's beach and April came down to join the Three Amigos, we hopped into Cheesey's speedboat, jetted around Lake St Clair before finally landing at Mike's On The Water, a hugely popular food stop for boaters on the lake. We won't get into the beer too much as the only craft option was Samuel Adams Boston Lager. That's a perfectly good choice for me except the keg was dry. So rather than Bud and some other macro, I opted for a Margaritaville Brewing (singer Jimmy Buffet's place in Jacksonville, Florida) Landshark Lager. Much the same as it is up here (brewed by Brick in Canada), it's a cleaner version of Corona. But hey, I learned it'll wash down a lobster roll nicely so that's good.

But no, this lunch would be remembered for something else. You see, a couple of months back, David's Mom noticed he was getting sick after meals so she took him into an allergist, Turns out he has a few food allergies that have simply come to him later in life as he's 26 now. The allergist created a red-yellow-flashing-green list for us, meaning foods that were never, rarely or occasionally to be eaten. On the red list were some surprises, including white sugar, apples, potatoes, coconuts and anything using food dye.

A small cross-section of the craft beers available in the
food market near Greg and April's place. Feel free to
ignore the Blue Moon as we all know it's made here by
Molson's but is cloaked as an independent down there.

Being as his Mom is all Irish and I'm half-Irish, potatoes was the one that stunned us. But okay, I tossed out my potatoes and subbed in sweet potatoes and rice for him here at Donny's Bar and Grill. But when we arrived at Mike's On The Water, David really wanted fish and chips. Well, since he's been eating potatoes for nearly 26 years, I thought, "Meh, it's one meal. What's the harm?" In what is sure to tarnish any chance of me winning 2017 Father Of The Year, we found out that night. Two bites into April's delicious spaghetti dinner, David got this look - a look I recognize all too well. He was about to puke. And he did for two-and-half solid hours. Well, actually, the vomiting was only about the first 20 minutes, followed by two hours and 10 minutes of dry heaving and retching. I sat out back with him, rubbing his back with a wastebasket in his lap and was thoroughly exhausted by the time he stopped, looked at me wearily and said, " I want to go to bed." Greg felt horrible for him, April felt horrible for him and I felt all that times ten. The poor kid. I looked at Greg and April and said flatly, "No more fries! Ever!" On my part, what a stupid slip in judgement. My boy better get used to a future filled with rice.

I am rocking this with a picture of Greg and my high
school buddy, Dennis Ford, for a specific reason. Given
the situation with our respective parents, I suspect
Dennis would trade places with me in a heartbeat.

David was as right as rain and his usual cheerful self on Sunday morning so we were all pretty relieved there. With a firmer eye to his allergies, Greg actually found some unsweetened no-sugar, no artificial sweetener (also a red light) maple syrup for our French Toast breakfast. Because Cheesey and I missed our Saturday Night Breweries Tour, we established that I - or both of us - would be back soon. He had three breweries planned for Saturday night and dammit, I want to visit them! As well, since Greg and April are involved, I suspect David will be insistent on joining me. I do owe him a vomit-free night in Michigan, after all. (Stupid, stupid, stupid!!)

Finally, a family matter to deal with here. A month back, my Mom, who's 87 but still living alone in the huge Oakville house we moved into in 1963, had a huge fender-bender with a concrete pole on the sidewalk of a nearby library. It was broad daylight with no one around (thankfully). Then just as I was leaving for Michigan, she took a header down some concrete stairs onto a concrete patio. This was more serious. There was some head trauma and she lost peripheral vision on one eye, causing her driver's licence to get yanked.

Since I was in Michigan and we had to pass on the Cheesy
and Donny Saturday Night Brewery Party, I made sure to
pop a few of Michigan's best in my trunk on the way out.
Founders Brewing (Grand Rapids) All Day IPA seemed
like a slam-dunk choice. This has always been a great one.

Now she still has all of her mental faculties and refuses to leave the house. I was the last of the kids in there with her and I was gone in 1980. So that home is her anchor.

My sister, Carly, had my brother, Gary, flown in from his home in Spain to watch over her for a while, take her shopping, to the hairdresser, things like that. But a decision had to be made. Who was going to move in with her? So let's review the choices, shall we? Gary lives in Barcelona, Spain. Carly, a fertility specialist, has a medical practice in Toronto. And then there's me, the Beer Store employee, who works three minutes up the street from her.

Oddly, the other two felt this was a clear and easy choice. I'm not sure why. I had a chance to talk to Cheesey about it as it was all playing out while I was down there. He is in very much the same boat as his Mom won't leave the Oakville house where he grew up in the same neighbourhood as me.

When in Rome... well, you might have to
settle for something you'd normally pass
on. Hey, Jimmy Buffet, I drank one of
your beers because it was the best of a
bad bunch. Meh, it washed down lunch.

His older sister has moved in with her so she can run out the clock in a familiar, safe environment. Of course, he understands the situation so we had a good and honest talk about it.

While still there, I talked to David about the situation as well on the Sunday morning and asked him what he thought. To be honest, I was expecting some resistance. He loves our two-storey apartment in Burlington as it has been our home for over 11 years. However, he caught me off-guard with his thoughts on it. "Grandma Jay (my Mom) has taken care of us for all these years," he said as sincerely as anything I have ever heard in my life. "Now it's our time to take care of Grandma Jay." Wow. That kid will never stop amazing me.

So through the month of August, Donny's Bar and Grill is getting slowly packed up and shifted to a new Oakville locale. But there's a reason that a picture of my old roomie and high school buddy, Dennis, is in here. You see, I was kinda not thrilled with this turn of events. But also feeling ashamed that I felt that way. Though many friends have assured me that's natural and that they themselves would be reluctant, there's a huge sense of guilt when you really wish you didn't have to step up.

But Dennis wrote something this morning that really opened my eyes. His very-much-loved father is suffering from cancer and likely only has a few days left. His mother has full-blown Alzheimer's. As I read it, I realized Dennis would trade places with me in a heart-beat. Okay, I'll be back tomorrow with news about the Burlington On Taps Beer Mini-Festival on August 11-12. But here's Dennis' words. If you can make it to the end without crying, you're a stronger person than me. Here it is: Damn Onions! But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

Meanwhile in Michigan...

Here, David and Cheesey pose out front of Stop #1, the
Motor City Brewing Works. While I loved their beers,
these guys also made their own specialty pizzas that
are pure dynamite. Stopping there mid-afternoon, the
tiny place was jam-packed with couples and families.

The open invitation has been sitting there for a couple of years. My old high school buddy, Greg, aka Cheesey, and his lovely wife, April, live just outside Detroit in a well-heeled community called Gross Pointe Farms.

"You and David come on down any time," Cheesey has told me. "There's some great craft breweries here! If you come here in the Summer, we can all go out in the boat!"

Well, three weekends ago, it became high time to take the generous couple up on their offer. While including my son, David, seemed to be quite important to both of them, it seemed especially so to April. That seems to be the effect he has on most women. He's a huggy and loving lad and the ladies... well, they seem to really, really like those hugs. (Who knew, eh?)

The entire trip was, frankly, a stunning education on how the City of Detroit, which filed for Chapter 9 Bankruptcy back in 2013, has pulled itself up and revitalized itself in four short years. This was far beyond ordinary urban renewal, which takes decades. This was nothing short of an urban rebuilding miracle to an outside observer. Like the mythical Phoenix rising from the ashes.

Scotty has been manning at the bar at Motor City
Brewing Works for as long as Cheesey can remember.
The place had a warm ambiance that is tough to beat.
Also because of the pizzas around us, it smelled great!

But we'll deal next time with the city's rebirth and how the efforts of business people like Cheesey, as well as those in tax brackets far higher than him, realized that Detroit's bankruptcy was actually a beacon of light for entrepreneurs. Nothing turns around a bankruptcy quite as quickly as humongous infusions of big-league cash.

No, this time, we'll stick to the fun adventures enjoyed by the four of us and while I will, of course, be looking at Detroit and Michigan craft breweries next time as well, we have other stories to deal out today.

But since I go out of my way to shine a light on Ontario craft breweries up here (as do fine writers and videographers such as Beer Bro Glenn, Drunk Polkaroo and Brother Hago), I was in Michigan, not Ontario. So today, it's all about that fine state and its many craft breweries. When in Rome and all that...

When we landed there on Friday afternoon, April was still at work and wouldn't catch up to us until dinner at Benihana's, which is a fun story for a little further along. First up was a day-time trip into Detroit to Greg's restored-three-storey office with some sight-seeing of the city.

While most graffiti is the stuff of eye-sores, Cheesey
took us to one that was outrageously colourful and
fun. This is a cropped shot of David and myself in
front of the wall that ran 150 feet long and three
storeys high. Cheesey and I couldn't figure out how
many artists contributed to it but dozens, for sure.

Cheesey's office used to be an abandoned house which he got on the cheap and basically rebuilt from the ground up. Now the multi-storey office for his business, Computech Corporation, is completely redone and remodeled, even down (or up, I suppose) to the sizable attic which is now a shiny, gleaming conference room. However, what makes this house notable is that it was formerly owned by James Joy, owner of the Packard Car Company waaay back in the day. I tell you, this city is all about cars.

But hey, Cheesey knew what I wanted to see so before long, we three were off to Motor City Brewing Works to check out our first craft brewery of the day. Now I wrote about this brewery extensively in May 2016 when Cheesey brought me up a ton of beers from them during one of our high school mini-reunions. So I'll just include that link at the end if you're curious about the brewery's colourful history and shaky start-up. But on this day, our asses would be parked in the brewery itself which is a helluva lot more fun than researching it on the interwebs.

Their specialty food, much like Barnstormer Brewing and Distilling in Barrie, is stone-fired pizzas and geezuz, did that place smell good.

As a West Coast-British IPA hybrid, this is the
best of both worlds, balancing the hops on the
nose with thick malted barley on the tongue.

But we're here for the beer, aren't we? So let's "hop" into that. Naturally, I jumped all over their India Pale Ale (that's it - just India Pale Ale - no hoppy-punny nickname). I have reviewed this last May but here's a brief recap. The 7%, 85 IBU (international bitterness units) is goosed by Warrior, Columbus and Simcoe hops so you're expecting a whole lotta west coast. But no, there is a malt heaviness on the back-end so this is what we like to refer to as a West Coast-British hybrid. A combo of the two styles. That adds a breadiness to the grapefruit on the nose, as well as some grassiness to the pine on the tongue.

Despite the fact I am a devout hop-head, this is a style I have truly come to appreciate. They can't all hit your nose and tongue like a sledge-hammer so it's nice to take a trip to Hybrid-IPA City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. (I heard that somewhere in a song.) But believe me, there were many hoppy IPAs to come in my immediate Michigan forecast.

But first was the important matter of meeting up with April. While I have met her a couple of times in the past, this was a first for David and as mentioned earlier, it was a meeting that was highly anticipated by the gracious couple. So we all connected at Benihana's, a restaurant that cooks your food on a piping-hot grill in front of you in a hilarious and entertaining manner.

Goddamn, that's some good looking people right
there. Okay, mostly April but hey, Cheesey and 
David are holding their own, too. Just a great visit.

The first meeting between April and David went pretty much as expected. "You look like a hugger," she smiled sweetly to him... and got exactly that. When it comes to the people, I have taught my boy that much. You always offer men a handshake, though you can pull them in for the one-armed bro hug as he did with Cheesey. But if a woman opens her arms, you get in there and take the hug. It's a rare gift. His proficiency level at this seems high. Well, far better than his Dad's, that's for sure.

A great meal, we were seated between an older black couple and a young Millennial white couple. And the only reason their skin colour is relevant here is that our table represented something of a microcosm of the state of Detroit these days. The old guard of the recent years past happily breaking bread with the young urban newcomers helping to revitalize the city. Plus the old black dude was the funniest guy at the table by far. When the young chef tried to prank him by pretend-squirting the ketchup on him (it was a piece of red wool), the man never flinched. "Been married to her all these years," he said flatly, "so it takes a helluva lot more than that to scare me." (Earned him a playful whack on the arm and a "Hush!") Great dinner, great fun, great company and surprise, surprise, David got more hugs from the older couple as they were leaving. The boy has a gift. And he likes to share it.

That's right - Hop Cat in Detroit has 130 taps,
dedicated to some of the best craft beers from
America and around the world. The Canadian
nod? A lone Unibroue (Chambly, Quebec) brew,
Ephemere Elderberry, a Belgian Wit goosed by
elderberries. But I wasn't in Canada so... pass!

After dinner, it was back to Cheesey and April's where the hostess and my boy were content to park it in the basement for the rest of the night, watching a Harry Potter DVD. Me and Cheesey, on the other hand? We had places to go.

The one place Cheesey has been raving to me about for the past couple of years is HopCat, the city's premier craft beer bar on the corner of Woodward Avenue and East Canfield Street in the downtown core. "This place has 130 taps!" Cheesey enthused a couple of years back. "You have got to see this!"

So that's precisely where we went. As expected, the bar was packed by Millennials, all enjoying their Friday night out, not to mention some damn good beers. There were 20 IPAs on the menu out of their 130 taps and the lone nod I saw to a macro was Pabst Blue Ribbon, which, in some places, still has some hipster cred. (My stomach is not one of those places.)

While the majority of the beers were from Michigan, there was one Canadian brew, as well as a healthy handful from other states and Europe. This bar believes in drinking locally, meaning Michigan, baby.

I had two New England-style IPAs, one from nearby Batch Brewing (which I'll talk about tomorrow as we made the trip there afterwards) and the second, a collaboration between Brewery Vivant (Grand Rapids) and Witch's Hat Brewing (also Grand Rapids) called Farmer's Hat Juicy IPA. "Maybe next time, we can make the trip to Grand Rapids because it's a huge craft beer city," said Cheesey. Actually, there's still plenty of Detroit crafties to visit so when that time comes (and it will come sooner rather than later), I might suggest passing on that two-and-a-half hour car ride and just staying put.

As it turns out, there are two versions of this beer with the recipe subtly tweaked between the batches made in each brewery. I got the Brewery Vivant version.

The rule of thumb for New English style
IPAs is simply this: if it looks like either
orange juice or mango juice, it's probably
gonna be pretty damn tasty. And it was!

While the Witch's Hat version is a SMASH (single malt and single hop) IPA, the Brewery Vivant one was goosed with both Citra and Huell Melon hops. At 7.2% and roughly 80 IBUs (international bitterness units), the Farmer's Hat didn't just tickle the nose, it sucker-punched it. Hard. Holy crap, so much aroma, big bursting heaps of tropical fruit and, of course, melonly goodness! This New England-style of IPAs is probably my favourite trend of the year - it's cloudy, it's hazy, it's a mucky, murky mess of delicious!

Okay, as I said, I'll be back tomorrow with more Michigan fun, starting with our trip to Batch Brewing. Also, how a great lunch at Mike's On The Water lead me to make the biggest Daddy mistake of 2017, virtually squelching Cheesey and my Saturday night brewery visit game-plan. Why? Because I'm an idiot. (You'll have to read about it. But man, rookie mistake.)

Also there's an explanation about why this column has been missing in action for the past few weeks. While David and I were enjoying ourselves down there, there were issues with my 87-year-old mother up here and the eventual decision on how to deal with it is about to cause some great upheaval in my life. But what can you do? Fortunately, Cheesey has gone through exactly the same situation with his mother so he was the perfect guy to bounce this situation off. When you're not in the vicinity of your family, it's great to have two friends that you consider family around and April and Cheesey certainly fill that bill. But back tomorrow with that all. Oh yeah, last year's column on: Motor City Brewing Works! is, well, that link. Until then, guys and doll, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

When two breweries part ways...

At one point, their banners flew side-by-side at 207
Burlington Street East in Hamilton. No longer. Turns
out Collective Arts got the brewery in the divorce.

Well, that was quite a way to start my vacation. It was June 30th and we were, as expected, getting our asses kicked at the Beer Store, which was closed on July 1st for Canada Day.

When I was finally finished my shift (ever have an eight-hour shift that feels like 87 hours?)  I thought I could relax finally and start my vacation with my son. So God laughed in my face, called me ugly and somehow directed my attention to the Canadian Beer News late in the day where I - and many other craft beer lovers in southwestern Ontario - learned that Collective Arts and Nickel Brook Brewing were getting a divorce.

You see, the two breweries have jointly shared the old Lakeport Brewing facility at 207 Burlington Street East in Hamilton since officially opening in May 2015. Their joint venture was called Arts & Sciences Brewing. For those a little slow on the uptake, the "arts" represented Collective Arts and the "sciences" represented Nickel Brook. My early suggestion of Everyone Else Sucks Donkey Ass Brewing was ignored. They were all "something, something, PETA and the Catholic Church would be pissed." I was all, "something, something, don't be pussies, it's a great name!" My marketing credentials are a bit sketchy but in my defence, it's only because I have none.

This old file photo of Nickel Brook owner John
Romano should now read "Brewery Wanted In
The Niagara Region. Must be massive and have
enough space to party, brew and learn about
good beers." There's two years on the clock.

So anyway, the two breweries have co-existed (uneasily at times, it would seem) under the same roof for two years, cranking out both the Nickel Brook core line-up, as well as all of Collective Arts products, which is getting to be a growing and lengthy list.

But that all changed on June 30th when Collective Arts announced that it was taking "sole ownership of the Arts & Sciences Brewery." Effective immediately. The deal is that the Collective Arts will now continue to brew Nickel Brook's core line-up for the next two years while Nickel Brook builds a shiny new brewery in the Niagara Region. Of course, (for two years anyway) Nickel Brook's brewery on Drury Lane in Burlington doesn't budge. That's great news as they are cranking out some phenomenal Brett and sour beers from their "Funk Labs," under the watchful eye of Funkmaster Brewer Patrick Howell. And, of course, they're right around the corner from me. What's really important is "How does this affect Donny?" Let's be realistic here, people.

As well, Brewmaster Extraordinaire Ryan Morrow will continue to split his time between the two breweries just as he has been doing for several years now. After all, he created Collective Arts' first beer, Rhyme & Reason Extra Pale Ale at Nickel Brook back in August 2013. This year, the same beer just struck gold at the Canadian Brewing Awards.

In this July 2015 photo taken by photographer Nick Wong for
a Draft Magazine article, Ryan Morrow, left, is shown with
Collective Arts co-owner Matt Johnson. Now it looks like Ryan
is sporting a traditional Craft Brewer Beard. He is not. That's
more like Craft Brewer 5 O'Clock Shadow. Saw him recently
and now he has a beard that could house a nest full of birds
without him knowing it at all. And it might. He doesn't know.

Actually, I first spotted Rhyme & Reason at a Burlington LCBO back in October 2013 and was pretty excited to see "Burlington, Ontario" on the side of the six-pack. Having just started this little shit-show of a blog a few months prior, I thought there might be a second Burlington craft brewery. That notion was dispelled quickly when I showed up shortly after to get my growlers filled with Headstock IPA and I saw a skid of it on the Nickel Brook floor. What it was doing there was explained to me and thus I learned of contract brewing. Remember, kids, you never stop learning!! Also remember it doesn't really matter because you forget 99% of it anyway but the most important thing here is... uhh, something, something, I don't remember.

And while the split came as a shock to many, should it be? It wasn't to me. For starters, I have been hearing whispers of some acrimony between the two camps for well over a year now. Let's face it. You can't have one business, regardless of the industry, under a roof without the usual amount of tension among the staff. But two competitors under the same roof? As they would say in New Jersey, "Fahgettaboudit."

Is the parting of Collective Arts and Nickel Brook
Brewing worth a classic Johnny Bravo jaw-drop?
No, not really. Just two companies that continue to
grow and frankly, now need their own facilities.

(That's how they talk in New Jersey. True story. I know a guy who knows a guy. That's got nothing to do with "fahgettaaboudit" but I know a guy, anyway.)

But the initial premise of two breweries under the same roof with a humongous amount of brewing capacity back then was a great idea - at least for that time. Not only could the tiny Drury Lane brewery not keep up with the growing demand for Collective Arts beer (Saint of Circumstance Blonde Ale came next), they couldn't even keep up with the screams for their own product.

I remember talking to John Romano in the Autumn of 2014 and he told me LCBOs were calling him directly, saying they needed 10 trays of Headstock IPA and Naughty Neighbour American Pale Ale each! Like immediately! "And I'm here telling them that I can maybe give them two trays of each but that's it," he said, looking as harried as hell at the time. So 10 trays? Fahgettaboudit. With their smaller vats, they just couldn't make the beer fast enough for the demands of both breweries. So something had to happen... and it did. The creation of Arts & Sciences Brewing in the old Lakeport Brewing facility. Yeah, sure, the partnership wasn't destined to last forever but it served its exact purpose when it needed to. And that was two years ago. Things needed to change at that time so they did. Bigly! (They say that in New Jersey, too.)

Neatly sandwiched between my son's stylin' Marvel superhero sandals is
Collective Arts' IPA No. 3, the latest in their experimental new product
series. Okay, I loved IPA No. 1 and thought IPA No. 2 was solid but this
bad boy is the best of the bunch. But to deal with what's really important
here, that's Spider-Man, Iron Man, Wolverine, Captain America and
Thor on those sandals. Let's just get that out of the way first. Priorities.

As for Collective Arts getting the whole brewery to themselves, well, I knew Nickel Brook beers were brewed there but even I never thought of it as anything other than Collective Arts. They have the retail component. That's the face of any business. That's why companies don't use me as the face of their business. Last time they used my face, it was for the Titanic. And you know what, Rose? There was room for Jack on that door. "I'll never let you go," she said... as she let him go. Bitch.

So unless someone accidentally mentions to Taylor Swift there was a break-up, this will not be the thing from which stupidly-catchy pop songs destined to be forgotten within minutes is born. It's business. It's growth. And it happens every day somewhere. But you know what? We came here not to praise Caesar Salad but rather to not eat salad at all. It's Beer Time!

Oh my lawdie, the Nickel Brook With Glowing Hearts
Sour was a cherry-tweaked little batch of tasty. At 8.2%,
it's definitely on the strong side for a sour and man, does
it pack a punch. The Funk Labs continue to rock it out.

Well, why not stick with Collective Arts and Nickel Brook since the breweries are both cranking out tasty newbies with alarming frequency these days.

And first on deck is Collective Arts No. 3 IPA, the latest in their experimental series. All three of the new IPAs were 7.1% and exactly 80 IBUs (international bitterness units) despite using different hops with each of the trio. Not sure how they pulled that off but dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor not a brewer! All I know is this. I thought all three were great but until I had this one, IPA No. 1 was the leading contender. It just go bumped from the throne as No. 3 is now affixed to the golden chair. Using Crystal and Citra hops, this had a tropical fruit aroma with almost an earthy hemp-like whiff (I know one hop smells like a lot like marijuana but I can't remember which) but lots of mango and melon on the tongue. I'm Team #3 all the way, baby but keep them coming as this is the sort of experiment where nobody loses. I can only assume what the folks at CA are doing is giving us these goodies in the form of a competition where winner-takes-all and is named the brewery's next official IPA. To which I say... facking schweet!!!!

I had a shot of Nickel Brook's Proud as Funk Flanders
Red-Brown Blend but opted to use Drunk Polkaroo's
instead. Not just because it's a far superior photo but
actually because he had the foresight to emphasize the
back label which is a shout-out to our friends in the
LGBTQ community. It's a great message to share.

Okay, Nickel Brook's Funk Lab on Drury Lane is pumping out sours for hours these days and they did not disappoint with the latest pair. First up is their Canada Day special, With Glowing Hearts Sour. According to its commercial description, this is a "golden sour aged in oak barrels for two years with Brett (yeast) and Lacto (lactobacillus, a lactic acid), then aged an extra three months on Montmorency cherries." Okay, since that's all brewers' bafflegab, what does this taste like? Like a funky cool Cherry Pop Tart. At 8.3%, you're gonna be sipping this one. Pouring a deep red, this was all cherries and Sour Patch Kids on the nose while on the tongue, there was a sweetness (almost vanilla) balancing the tartness but also more cherry goodness. You could feel the warmth of the alcohol as this warmed up. Great job with this one!

Okay, next on deck is the Funk Lab's Proud as Funk, a Flanders Red-Brown Blend, aged separately in oak barrels before being matured in a fermenter together.

Nickel Brook co-founder Peter Romano manned the BBQ when the
brewery held their June Fundraiser with all proceeds going to the
Ronald McDonald House Foundation, which houses children and their
families as they are being treated in nearby hospitals. At the end of the
day, Nickel Brook and those of us who came out raised nearly $2,500!!

The beer was created as a shout-out to the LGBTQ community and was released just prior to Pride Week. Also, my Nickel Brook buddy, Tony Cox, helped name it so 10 points to Gryffindor for that. Okay, usually Flanders are the sourest of all the sours so, well, was this? Oh yeahhh. The 7.1% beer poured dark brown and was heavy with the darker fruits on the nose, such as plums and even purple grapes. On the tongue, the mouth-puckering brew continued with more of the same with almost a red-wine feel lurking in the background. Sour, sweet, a little bit of everything in this one and a great tribute to the Pride Week festivities.

But because I'm, well, clueless, I had to admit to my Beer Store coworker, as well as proud Prider, Trey, that I didn't know what the Q meant in LGBTQ. The first four initials, yeah, I got those but Q? Well, it turns out that stands for "questioning," meaning, I guess, you're not quite sure where you land. There you go. Learn something new every day.

And hey, if you want to support your friends in their community, it's probably helps to have a better understanding of it, even down to the acronyms.

Okay, before I "peace out" here, let's look at a couple of fundraising events and products where craft brewers successfully supported their communities.

Shauna Stacey holds up a cheque from Barnstormer Brewing for the
Simcoe chapter of Autism Ontario. One dollar from the sale of every
bottle of their SR-71 Blackbird Black IPA went to the cause. The beer
was the first release in their fund-raising "Community Series" and as
you can see, they sold 697 of those beers! And three of them were to me!

First up are my homeys at Nickel Brook who held a Charity BBQ in their parking lot on June 17 with all proceeds going to the Ronald McDonald House Foundation. I was part of that fun and in the end, the bunch of us rowdies helped raise nearly $2,500 for the RMHF.

Meanwhile up there in Barrie, Barnstormer Brewing and Distillery was also raising funds, in this case going towards the Simcoe chapter of Autism Ontario. Head brewer Jeff Woodworth created a special Black IPA that they named SR-71 Blackbird Black IPA and a buck from every bottle went towards the charity. In the end, they raised nearly $700 for Autism Ontario Simcoe.

So a great job by two fantastic breweries, proving once again, Ontario craft brewers kick ass! Okay, I'll be back soon but at the moment, my son, David, and I are heading to Gross Pointe Farms, Michigan to visit my high school buddy Cheesy and his lovely wife April so that Cheesy can show me the best craft breweries in the Detroit area while April spoils the hell out of my boy! Talk about a win-win! But guys and dolls, that it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...