Sparklepuff... or Sparklechunks??

This is what my now 32 Sparklepuff Triple IPAs have all
looked like. This was the fugliest one I could find in my
photo folder. Orange juice looking, white floaties. I actually
assumed the floaties were peach puree given the taste but
have been told since it's likely yeast and other brewing bits.

At this point, I can only assume I'm the luckiest man in Ontario. Have I won like a $50 million Lotto-Max? Hell, no! Or I would be writing this from my permanent residence in Las Vegas.

I am referring to the Flying Monkeys' Sparklepuff Triple IPA Sweepstakes. I'm 32 beers in and I've never had a bad one. True story. Mine have all had the consistency of orange juice, a handful of white floaties and were as tasty as hell. And at 10.2%, several have knocked me flat on my ass. My ass is already flat so we're not exactly talking Buns of Steel here. Buns of Tapioca, maybe.

The release of Sparklepuff in early-February had a lot of us excited. High-regarded brewery, Triple IPA... we was pumped, I tells ya. No one more so than my pal, Steve from Southern Ontario Beer Boys. When we connected at Wellington Brewing on February 9th for the launch of our 5 out of 5 Foreign Extra Stout, which is chockful of Smoked Barley Flake goodness, thanks to my and Tiffany's (@travellingpint) overpour of the malt, no one was more pumped for the release than Steve.

This was Steve's first - and only - pour of Sparklepuff,
which he instantly christened #SparkleChunks. Okay,
mine get a handful of floaties but this is a different cat
altogether. He actually kinda sullied his glass with this.

He marvelled that it was likely the most talked-about craft beer release on Instagram for the previous 24 hours. That would soon change. But we'll get there in a second. On the weekend of the release, someone posted a picture on Twitter of their Sparklepuff. I saved the photo and even tagged it with the guy's name but for the life of me cannot find it. I've tried scrolling back on my notifications and it takes me hours to go back even a week. My friends and I are more active on Twitter than I realized.

However, let me describe it best I can. It looked like a half-pour of pure white sediment surrounded by thin orange goop. It was disgusting. Calling it a drain-pour doesn't even apply because you'd be afraid of what would happen to your plumbing. There are some things even industrial-strength Drano cannot handle. And since sewer-pours are highly illegal in Ontario, this is a matter only a toilet could deal with. Good luck with that, local Sewage Treatment Plant. That said, I encouraged him to open his second because I wanted to see if lightning would strike twice. His second looked exactly like Steve's on the left. Not exactly the prettiest at the prom.

The reaction to his picture on Twitter was, like the movies, both fast and furious, emphasis on the latter. But that, too, is the nature of Twitter. To wit, if a woman posts a picture of her new hairstyle on Facebook, she instantly gets 107 likes and 90-plus comments about how beautiful she is. Post that same picture on Twitter and the response from unknown strangers half a world away is more likely to be "I hope you didn't pay cash for that" or "Did they use a weed-whacker?" After that guy's pic, there were practically calls for Flying Monkeys excommunication from the Ontario craft beer industry.

Twitter buddy Dave D did this and it's pretty funny. Also, it has Batman
in it so you immediately have my attention. Watch your mouth, Robin!

Certainly, the word "boycott" popped up numerous times, as did "recall."

But that one photo was not an aberration. Instantly, Linda, a friend and a home-brewer in Durham, was on there, saying she had to filter hers or it would have been undrinkable. Even with that, she didn't think much of the taste. And she comes armed with beer filters that most of us do not have. When it's someone you know, suddenly, things become a little more credible.

And then it kept happening. Steve from Southern Ontario Beer Boys posted his nasty-ass pic. Jane, a Beer Store friend from Thunder bay, said hers was just as bad. Young Josh, a member of the Craft Brewery Touring Brew Crew, posted his pic. As bad as Steve's. Finally, Ontario Craft Beer posted a half-glass of sediment, which I'll show further down.

Four-time Ontario Beer Writer of the Year Ben Johnson
crafted up this clever meme while voicing his disapproval
of beer with literal chunks in it. As usual, he wasn't shy.

But at the same time, a very large portion of us were getting ones that were not only perfectly fine but damn delicious. Myself, the Ottawa Craft Beer Mafia of Joel, Matt and Ben, the Sudbury Craft Beer Mafia of Danny and... oh, I guess Stompin' Tom? And many others.

But the dissenting voices continued on, lead by not one but two Ontario Beer Writers of the Year - four-time winner Ben Johnson and last year's winner Drunk Polkaroo. Polk was on board the Good Ship Sparklepuff in his video but that's simply because he got two good ones. When he saw Steve's and other photos, he called out the lack of consistency in the beer and suggested a total recall was in order.

Okay, this was just damn funny. Ben Johnson created this
dystopian movie storyboard and solemnly intoned: "Much
to everyone's surprise, the Canadian Beer Wars started
with divisions along arbitrary distinctions of 'macro' vs
'craft' but rather, it was a disagreement triggered by a
single word that caused neighbours to take up arms
against neighbours. That word was 'Sparklepuff'." Okay,
I actually laughed out loud when I saw this. Very clever!

Johnson, know for his blunt but well-crafted technical writing style balanced with a sly and dry wit, didn't hold back. "F**k this! Chunks aren't 'normal.' Brewers: you are in the beverage-making business. No one wants chunky beverages. If you can't do hazy properly, don't try. Enough of this Sparklepuff bullshit."

Keep in mind, these are the only two people who have won Ontario Beer Writer of the Year. And they both make a valid point. This beer is $5 a can and if I got one like Steve's, I would not be a happy camper. I am not a critical person in the very least but I would rail loudly against accidentally buying a Sparklechunks.

This was Ontario Craft Beer's Sparklepuff, a pretty
clear divide between liquid and sediment. Now I did
have one like this except it sat on my table for three
hours when I nodded off during Season 4 of Gotham.
My solution? Stirred it with my finger and finished it.
Also don't take my nap as indicative of the show. It's
finally getting decent. Batman is now an older teen
and the iconic villains are actually getting dangerous.

So what happened? Why are some so great while other's are a dog's breakfast? What's at the core of this fast polarizing beverage? For these answers, we went straight to Flying Monkeys co-owner Andrea Chiodo.

Short answer? They don't know. Longer answer? Let's go. "(Manager of Brewing Operations) Sebastian's (MacIntosh) brewers have been out of their minds (over the issue.) They love this beer above all others! We have not had any cans that look like these weirder pictures and we have been buying it in different places."

Quick pause. After first buying eight Sparklepuffs while in Guelph, the remaining 24 have been from different LCBOs in the Oakville, two or four at a time, spread out over weeks now. All the same.

Back to Andrea: "I wish we did get a 'pasta barf'' or a 'fish food' one. We could get to the bottom of it. We even kept a few in our incubator, then cooled it to see if temperature was an issue. Nothing happened. Just some yeasty sediment but nothing alarming. We haven't discovered any flaw that demands a recall or anything. We have an incredible lab and the PCR (think: quality control) tests show no marker for any issues."

Telling my buddy, Danny, up in Sudbury, that I was
on Sparklepuff #30 without incident, I posted this
photo on my Twitter. Oops my bad. Flying Monkeys
immediately wanted to know, "How did you get the
prototype for Ramenpuff?" That's my little secret!

So, in essence, they're still baffled. Andrea continued, "Obviously, there are a few (nasty ones) out there, which is disturbing but it's an unfiltered, natural product." You can see the response to that by some in the Batman meme above. And when you have respected Ontario beer writers like Ben and Polk coming down hard on you, that's gonna leave a mark.

But is the damage done beyond repair? Tough to say. Obviously those who shelled out $5 for a nasty-ass one won't purchase another. However, Steve made it clear he was simply unhappy with the beer, not the brewery, stating he would stick to their Juicy Ass IPA, instead. Me? Hey, 32 straight great ones and I'm kind of the point where I'm dying to get a Sparklechunks! That's just how poorly my brain is wired. Also to my thinking, there's "I got a bad beer" angry and "Flint, Michigan still doesn't have clean drinking water but hey, I also got a bad beer" angry. I lean towards the latter.

However, Andrea made it clear that if anyone had an issue, they should contact the brewery directly through their website. Linda said she was going to do precisely that. Says Andrea, "I always joyfully reimburse anyone who is unhappy. We want everyone to be thrilled with every beer we make."

Twitter friend Brad Seftel was there for
the Sparklepuff launch at Beertown in
Waterloo, posting this pic and noting
it was still pretty damn good (like me,
he's had luck) but he prefers the cans.

As of two weeks ago when we first talked, Andrea said eight customers wanted replacements. A few others contacted them just to be sure they weren't gonna get poisoned by the brew.

So long story short, they're gonna keep trying, tweaking filters and what-have-you. She noted, "We're no social media gurus and ultimately, we have a beer to brew. And fix, too, apparently." 

But, of course, I had to know: What's it like when beer lovers are screaming for your hide over a solid weekend? She noted that, first and foremost, she felt badly for the brewers who had worked hard on and loved the project. "I tell you, though, a lot of these internet posts can make anybody feel like the unpopular 15-year-old girl who shit in the pool at her first high school party." Is it just me or is that an oddly specific example of being mortified?? (Kidding, Andrea! But if you ever wanna talk... you know.) And when the Triple IPA was kegged and sent out to Beertowns in Burlington, Cambridge, London, Waterloo and the Sociable in Brantford, Flying Monkeys not only didn't downplay the controversy, they tried to have some fun with it, noting, "DRAUGHT EXCLUSIVE at BEERTOWN! Only the best or worst beer we've ever made! Good Kitty? Bad Kitty? You decide."

Other than the Sparklechunks, if there was a slip-up on the brewery's end, it's that they didn't jump in quickly enough, opting to wait a few days before comment. Ideally, it's best to douse the social media flames when the fire is just starting.

When my Oakville friend, Kim, posted this picture of
Muskoka's Black Thunder Milkshake IPA, looking
all funky chunky, the brewery's social media rep,
Sarah, was on the matter within seconds. THAT is
how you handle a quality control issue. Quickly!!!

Or at least try to deal with them. Granted, in this case, given the astounding speed in which matters escalated, it might be considered a "Christians in the Lions' Den" scenario at best.

That said, let me point out an example of how speedily dealing with a bad beer still maintained a customer's good will. A couple of weekends back, Oakville friend, Kim R-W (she literally works up the street from me) got a pretty funky pour of Muskoka Brewing's new Black Thunder Raspberry Milkshake IPA. Trust me, ALL of mine have been a clear red (and really tasty) pours. So she posted it on Twitter and asked something like, "Is it supposed to look like this?" I immediately jumped on to respond, making sure I tagged Muskoka. Within a minute, Sarah Girdwood, the brewery's Digital Marketing Specialist (so also all social media) responded, saying, no, that looked wrong and asking Kim to contact her so they could rectify things immediately. Kim was thrilled. Sarah fixed things. All's well... But Sarah's speed on the issue? Even The Flash would have been saying, "Wait? Who the hell just ran past me?" Social media is the most instantaneous form of communication we have ever seen in the entire history of the world. You gotta take advantage of that. Sarah did. But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

Snow in Las Vegas? It's a crazy place

I left Las Vegas in the mid-afternoon on February 20 on my flight
back to Toronto. This is what happened on the strip that same night
at about 9 pm. Snow in Las Vegas. What a lot of people don't seem
to get about deserts is that, yeah, they're very hot during the day
but at night, they can get damn cold. But this US National Weather
Bureau photo shows us a Winter story about Fabulous Las Vegas...

Quote #1: "You shouldn't play hockey in the desert."
Quote #2: "You don't have to shovel the heat."

So you know (though not that it's particularly relevant), these quotes are in chronological order.

Quote #1 was the rallying cry from hockey purists after Las Vegas received an NHL franchise on June 22, 2016 - a team that would begin in the 2017-2018 NHL season. The reason I suspect many Canadians may have been upset was that Quebec City, which also had a franchise bid in, was declined that same day. I gotta assume most American hockey fans wouldn't give a rat's wet fart if Quebec City got a team or not. Granted, I wanted both cities to get a team but if only one could, I gotta be honest, I was hoping for Vegas because any excuse to catch a plane to Sin City works for me. That's not to say that "no hockey in desert" quote only came from Canadians. Let's not rule out our northern American hockey fans, who, weather-wise, frankly, have a lot more in common with Canada than the NHL fans in, say, Florida, Arizona, California, Texas and now Nevada.

Usually I book my stay in the Excalibur Hotel
and Casino. This visit, I bunked at The LINQ.
Why? It was $10 cheaper a night and far more
importantly, it's right beside the esplanade where
the Yard House is located. The Yard House has
170 taps of the best craft beer available in Vegas.

So you know, Quote #2 absolutely came from a fellow Canadian when I was in Vegas last October. This gentleman from Wasaga Beach, Ontario and I both found ourselves having a morning smoke and a coffee outside Excalibur Resort and Casino on a beautiful sunny morning. He was recounting how when he just left his scenic town, the snow was falling for the first time last year. So basically, the same Winter we're still in but technically, Autumn of last year when we were talking. After taking a sip of his coffee, he looked at me and said, "The best thing about Vegas is that you don't have to shovel the heat." Indeed, it was gorgeous out, even at 9 am, sitting 22C (72F) and destined to get warmer as the day rolled along.

Well, at this point, I have to say both quotes are factually incorrect. You see, I was in Las Vegas from February 12 to 20 to see the Maple Leafs battle the Golden Knights on my birthday - February 14th. Some of you may recall last year I also traveled down there to see my Maple Leafs play the Golden Knights for the first time ever on December 31, 2017. I love going to Las Vegas and I especially love watching my Maple Leafs in Sin City. After my son, my two biggest loves. And to be frank, it is far easier for me to get a ticket to see the Leafs down in Sin City than it is to see the Leafs play any team - even the shitty ones - up here in Toronto!

My man, Justin, gives a double thumbs-up to my
choice of a Big Sky Brewing (Missoula, Montana)
Shake-A-Day IPA at the Yard House in The LINQ
Esplanade beside the hotel. The 6.5%, 75 IBU beer
has a great fruity nose and pine back-end. Tasty!

Even taking into account the American-Canadian money exchange, it's cheaper in Vegas. No joke.

But the reason the two opening statements are factually incorrect is this. On the night I flew home, it snowed in Vegas. So much for the hot, dry desert theory. Further to that, in some parts of the higher elevations around the city, they got as much as eight inches. So much for the not shoveling theory. I'm glad I beat the snow by about six hours because flights were delayed two and three hours. Beyond that, I went to Vegas to get out of the goddamn snow!

Okay so let's get the hockey portion of this out of the way. The first time I went, Vegas whomped my Leafs by a 6-3 score. This time, we thumped Vegas by an exact same 6-3 margin. In a city built on the phrase "The House Has The Advantage," that's about as Even Steven as it gets. And I love the enthusiasm of the Vegas fans, always cheering, always applauding, just happy to be at the NHL Party Table. And the pageantry? Holy shit, they have a lot of fun in the T-Mobile Arena during a game. They have knights on skates, a whole section on the north end of the arena is a platform with ongoing entertainment throughout the evening - kings, queens, royal proclamations, just wild stuff. A great environment, lots of families, lots of kids. This IS a great hockey town! Their fans kill it!

The happy Leaf couple were all smiles after the big 6-3
win in the T-Mobile Arena on February 14th. And hey,
a pretty nice birthday present for old Donny Boy, too!

The best thing about Vegas having a team is that the tourists come from everywhere to see their team play. The day I landed, Arizona was playing and there were Coyote jerseys everywhere. On the weekend, Nashville was in town and the casinos were flush with Predator sweaters. And, of course, on my birthday, Leaf jerseys everywhere in town!! I swear there were almost as many Leaf fans in the crowd as Vegas fans. In fact, with the Leafs up 5-3 and about three minutes left in the third, I decided to hit the john before the end-of-game rush. While I was in there, there was a humongous roar and cheer from the crowd (meaning goal scored) and I thought, "Oh shit, it's 5-4. Vegas is making it tense." Nope. The Leafs had scored to make it 6-3. That's how many we numbered in the crowd. In fact, where the hell are these vocal Leafs fans in Toronto at the ACC-Scotiabank-Whatever-It's-Called-This-Week Gardens? Half the time it sounds like a damn library in there. But my last boss, Dave, a die-hard Montreal Canadiens fan, called it after Vegas' improbable Cinderella story run at the Stanley Cup last season. He said: "It's like the Golden Knights are everyone's second favourite team now." Indeed.

Knowing I was going to Las Vegas to see
our Toronto Maple Leafs play there on
New Years Eve 2017, my boy, David, went
to Giant Tiger in Sarnia and got me this
Leafs sweater for the game. It's actually
wool. I hate wool. Itchy. So what do I do?
Of course, I wear the sweater. It's David.
T-Shirt underneath and hey, I'm golden.

Okay, it's time to get to the beer. First, a quick weather report. This was the coldest I have ever seen Sin City. When I landed, it was barely double-digits and dipped into single digits by the time I was leaving. Let's just say, my shorts were never worn. If you've ever seen my Vegas pics, you know that every day is marked by a new Ontario craft brewery T-Shirt. I pack those, one pair of shorts and jeans, couple of pairs of socks... and 12 pairs of underwear. Not sure why. It's like Packing Donny is convinced, yes, this is be the trip I crap my drawers every second day. It's never happened so Packing Donny is a bit of an alarmist and needs to calm the hell down.

But let's get to that beer. My Beer Adventure actually started at Pearson Airport in Toronto. I got there very early for my flight because it looked like freezing rain might bugger me up. A full third of the flights had been cancelled that day but mine was showing all systems go. Looking around, I found a place called the Red Rocket Cafe that served a beer called "Toronto Style IPA". Ordering some food, I got a pint of it. The glass was branded Henderson UPA, as in Toronto's Henderson Brewing. It was pretty damn good, especially being surrounded by macro taps. Turns out Toronto Style IPA is how the brewery describes it, noting that the train from Union to Pearson passes by them every six and a half minutes, thus they made it 6.5%. Nice pine on the nose, solid pine and malt on the back-end, the brewery did a great job. However, I remembered a long ago girlfriend, who worked in a hotel for the Summer, told me never to use the room glasses. Why? Because in some places, they use the same cloth to clean the glass as they do the sinks, counters, showers... and toilets.

Oh, the adventures my Henderson UPA glass had in Vegas!
Here it is holding one of my all-time favourites, the dynamic
Stone Brewing (Escondido, California) Ruination Double
IPA 2.0. That's 8.5%, 100+ IBUS of the piniest, hoppiest,
fruit-laden, citrus-packed beer you will ever drink. Evah!

And since I prefer my beer in a glass without fecal matter, I decided that Henderson glass was about to go on vacation, too. (60 Minutes probably did an expose on that and it's no longer the case. But you know how stuff sticks in your brain?) Henderson Brewing, one of your branded UPA glasses had a great week in Sin City. If you want it back as I still have it, just ask. Oh, I'm keeping it but hey, you're welcome to ask. It's traveled 6,240 kilometres (3,877 miles) round-trip with me. We're married now. And the beers that got poured into this? My glass bride got spoiled.

Where do I start? Okay, at the beginning, I guess. Once I had landed and cabbed my way over to The LINQ Resort and Casino, (highly recommended) it was time to set up shop and get my flop-pad in order. That means a few things. Pulling the blankets and sheets loose from their confinement (I feel like a damn mummy when I get into a properly-made hotel bed), unpacking all that underwear my clothes, getting my laptop, phone and tablet hooked up to their Wifi, the usual Lost Traveler In Paradise stuff. But I don't settle into Vegas without a brew and when I landed last October, Samuel Adams Brewing (Boston) had just launched their New England IPA.

Hey look, Sawdust City Brewing made its Vegas debut
during my Birthday Week down there! Hey Adam, zup
dawg? But it's that Samuel Adams' New England IPA
that I wanna talk about here. This was a go-to for me the
entire week I was down in Vegas. They kinda nailed it.

Wandering into The LINQ's in-hotel tourist trinket store, I found a healthy selection of craft but hey, I was so impressed with Sam Adam's NEIPA the last time, I went with the slam-dunk while setting up shop. It takes me roughly one beer to get my room ready. I ain't playing games here. It's Las Vegas. You don't hang in your room. But back to Sammy A's New England IPA. I was always happy to drink the brewery's Rebel IPA on the strip and have countless times. But damn, this New England IPA (which I'm kinda surprised took them this long because Boston is as New England as it gets) is good. Like, damn good. At 6.8% and a low, low 35 IBUs, this, like many east coast IPAs, has wheat malts blended in on the back-end but cranks up the Hop Heat with Galaxy, Simcoe, Mosaic, Citra and Cascade in the mix. Orange and pineapple all up in this hood. Jeebus, that's a good brew.

Now as soon as I was set up, I did what any rational and sane man would do. I went down to the esplanade between The LINQ and The Flamingo Resort and Casino (home of Donny and Marie!) and immediately walked to my favourite Vegas craft beer bar, Yard House.

You want showgirls? Trust me, they're up and
down the Vegas strip. You want beefy cowboys?
Yeah, they're hanging out there, too. That's the
thing about Vegas. There's something there for
everybody and anything goes. It's kinda nuts...

We're talking 180 taps - 170 of them the best craft beers in the world and 10 macros for your Aunt Phyllis. (Why on earth would you go to Vegas with her? She's gonna want to see some country tribute acts for sure. "OMG, he sounds exactly like Garth Brooks!" That's nice, Aunt Phyllis, but I still don't care.) Now here's the thing. It's been pretty much established in this space that they are my favourite craft beer bar in Vegas and they, in turn, have acknowledged I am absolutely their favourite Canadian. Well, if Michael Buble or Celine Dion are not in town that week. If they both are, I slide down the Canuck Scale to third favourite. I'm cool with that. I know my place.

And there was little doubt I was going there. While I have had the odd pint there, I go for their half-yard glasses of beer. And I always post those pictures on Twitter. After one of those postings, Beer Bro Glenn (not so happily freezing his arse off in Canada) asked me how much was in a half-yard? I replied, "Well, it's... I don't know." I have literally had dozens of these at the Yard House over the past year and never once thought to ask. I guessed a little more than a litre so 34 ounces or so? Before long, Yard House jumped in to answer the question, telling the pair of us that it's 32 ounces so a couple of tall boys or the exact same as a proper Oktoberfest stein. Suddenly, I realized why I've never had more than one during a sitting because given the high octave IPAs I drink there, I would, in fact, have to remain seated. In fact, the bar gives you a plastic take-out Solo cup if you can't quite finish it. I've never taken that option. I don't like leaving any projects unfinished. But man, a half yard at the Yard House and you return to the strip with a warm glow, that's for certain. So my first half yard of this trip? Dogfish Head Brewing's (Milton, Delaware) Flesh & Blood IPA. Boy howdy, this kicked off the Yard House portion of the trip nicely. Tons of apricot (so good), citrus and strong orange in this 7.5%, 45 IBU beauty. Definitely was one of the best, if not the best, IPAs on this trip.

Okay, the best and the brightest independent American
craft breweries all have one thing in common. They all
display that "Certified Independent Craft Brewers
Association" stamps on their bottles, packaging and cans.
Why is this important? Because there are many American
breweries who have been bought out by Big Beer and
frankly, I can't keep track of whom. So I #SeekTheSeal.

And while we're on the topic of Dogfish Head, thanks to copious amounts of craft beers in their Walgreens and CVS supersize drug stores on the strip - including one having a humongous walk-in beer fridge - I got a chance to try 60 Minute IPA and 90 Minute IPA side-by-side. This taste test was done in The LINQ Casino under the supervision of no one except myself and perhaps Odin, who watches over all the denizens of Midgard. Well, one young waitress came over and sweetly asked if I needed anything. I had two Dogfish Head beers directly in front of me on a slot machine so thank you but no, Miss, I'm hella good. I was in my Happy Place. So which is better, their single (60) or their double (90) IPA? Okay, keeping in mind this is just one man's opinion (though Odin may be subtly influencing me) but I believe it's the 60 Minute IPA. Granted, the minute I posted pictures of both on Twitter, the opinions were flying fast and furious on the pair. Both have huge fan-bases so really, Dogfish Head, you have very little to be worried about because I suspect it was keeping you up at night. Just keep making both. You'll be fine.

Two newer releases from our friends at Elysian Brewing
(Seattle), which was bought by Anheuser-Busch in 2015
and Sierra Nevada Brewing (Chico, California), which
proudly proclaims on top of its cans "Family Owned,
Operated and Argued Over." Yeah, that's independent.

But the challenge of Vegas isn't finding craft beers. They're everywhere. It's finding new craft beers! Two I came upon at exactly the same time were Elysian Brewing (Seattle) Dayglow IPA and Sierra Nevada Brewing's (Chico, California) Hazy Little Thing IPA. Elysian was snapped up four years ago by Anheuser-Busch (I forgot to #SeekTheSeal - my bad) while Sierra Nevada is still independently family-owned so their board meetings probably sound like a lot like this... "Shut up, stupid!" "I'm not stupid. You're stupid!" (I'm just guessing here and actually just basing it on my family's Thanksgiving dinners. Sierra Nevada's meeting are likely far less chaotic. Or not.)

Okay, both of these were really strong offerings. The Dayglow IPA at 7.4% had beautiful fruit notes with a nice wheat malt back-end while the Hazy Little Thing IPA at 6.7% was 10 beautiful shades of melon. I enjoyed them back-to-back and if I'm not mistaken, I'm fairly certain this was my Breakfast that day.

This was sitting in The LINQ's in-hotel convenience
store the entire time I was there and I didn't notice it
until late in the trip. The Ballast Point Brewing's
(San Diego) Fathom IPA was a nice orange-pine
combo, west coast style, lightly malty back-end.

I kinda just grab burgers, pizza or burritos on the fly when I'm down there. I'm obviously something of a fitness buff. Some people consider their bodies to be a temple and hey, I admire that. My body is more like a Meth lab above a tattoo parlour.

Late into the trip, I wandered into The LINQ's in-house convenience store (great staff, always happy and chatty - I was Donny Canada to them and was greeted thusly - I loved that) to pick up a brew or two and right beside the Ballast Point Brewing (San Diego) Sculpin IPA and Grapefruit Sculpin IPA was their Fathom IPA. Because the can is not their traditional gold and white colours and I am, in fact, colourblind, meaning I always look for colour markings familiar to me, I missed it until, oh, Day Seven? Yeah, you'd think the huge Ballast Point logo would be enough. Trust me, it never is. Okay, also back in 2015, this brewery was bought by Constellation Brands (Corona, other popular meh beers - except Ballast Point - and a lot of spirits) for $1 billion. I get it. Hard to say no. I couldn't. But help a Canuck out here! Ownership be damned, this was really good. Totally west coast (no haze here), this 6%, 50 IBU hoppy bugger has orange on the front, malt and pine on the back and is a damn solid beer. Better than Sculpin IPA? Well, let's not get crazy here. But hey, a pretty good one.

My very last beer in Vegas came courtesy of
Lauren and it was the Yard House "House
IPA." So who makes it, I asked her, thinking
one of the local craft breweries. Nope, she
said, "Stone (Brewing) makes it." Holy crap,
I should have tried it sooner! It's 6%, fruity,
citrus and one helluva send-off. Stone rules!

Okay, a couple more brews and then let's wind this little vacation story down. Another pair I grabbed at the same time (though photo folder evidence shows I had also enjoyed them during my October trip) Saint Archer Brewing's (San Diego) IPA and Stone Brewing's (Escondido, California, baby!) Tangerine Express IPA. The amount of Stone beers on the strip is phenomenal! As Beer Bro Glenn and myself like to say, "Stone can brew no wrong!" We often yell it. At small babies and puppies.

Okay, so *sigh* to begin, Saint Archer was bought by MillerCoors in 2015. I don't know for how much but at this point, I want to say $100 kajillion so I don't feel badly. I seriously can't keep track of the buy-outs down there but it's a lot. That said, the beers still seem to be really top-notch. It does seem to be hands-off ownership - at this point, anyway. Craft is 12% of the American beer market and the big guys want that piece of the financial pie. So anyways, the Saint Archer IPA is junked up the cake-hole with Amarillo, Mosaic, Centennial, Chinook, Columbus, Simcoe and Citra hops. (I hope MillerCoors paid a pretty penny for them, too.) But this is a clean-cut west coaster - 7%, 66 IBU, tropical fruit and citrus. Tasty-ass beverage, too. I'll happily drink it again. I'd steal it as a finger to the big guys but, you know, Vegas... cameras everywhere.

And then there's our good friends at Stone, fiercely independent, one of the best ever, just a buncha crazy-ass mofos having fun.

Lit up by a slot machines lights are Saint Archer IPA
and Stone Brewing Tangerine Express IPA. So Saint
Archer IPA had tons of tropical fruit and citrus but can
you guess the flavour profile of a beer with the word
"tangerine" in its name might be? I know you can do it!

You know many many times I've enjoyed a Stone beer on the strip? Try 2,317 times exactly. (Legal Disclaimer: That is a guesstimate.) Stone IPA, Stone Ruination Double IPA 2.0, Stone Go To Session IPA, Stone Hop Revolver IPA, Stone Ripper San Diego Pale Ale... and now, Stone Tangerine Express IPA. Yes, marijuana possession has been legal in Nevada since 2017 but man, I get Stoned down there a different way. (Pot and beer together just makes me super-sleepy, like instantly. I choose you, beer!)

The Tangerine Express was dynamite. The brewery says there's a solid backing of pineapple. I didn't catch that all that, to be honest, in this 6.7%, 75 IBU orange dream. But shit, this was good. Tart, not sweet. Another favourite by these guys.

Okay, let's finish this off with some fun Vegas notes. Prostitution is, of course, also legal in Nevada. Every casino on the strip seems to be a circular bar in the centre and that's where they gather at night. The escorts are very young, attractive and seem quite sweet.

It is 11:30 am in the Food Court at The Flamingo
Resort and Casino. Dude did NOT make it back to
his room. Either that or the poor guy lost all his
cash to gambling. I wasn't gonna wake him up to
ask. Doesn't matter what time it is there because
a tourist is asleep publicly somewhere in Sin City.

But here's the thing. The first time I went to Vegas in July 2007, I was already well old enough to be their father. Now 12 years later, I'm edging into the Grandfather Zone. So, yikes. I totally run that Loki Moment from Thor, The Dark World in my head where he says, "You must be truly desperate to come to me." I'm always polite and, you know, Canadian. If you tell them your wife is over at the roulette table, they're quite respectful. Let's put it this way. I'm at the age where I don't really want a Life Coach because he'd probably look at my habits (smoking, drinking, zero exercise, bad food) and my age before just shrugging, "I dunno, Don. It's kinda pointless now. Maybe just consider running out the clock?" Also on Facebook, I now get ads for dating sites with names like Silver Singles. And to be honest, I'm not coming here to meet a lady. I'm coming here to take a little break from one. Taking care of your 89-year-old mother might be noble or something. But seriously, you need time away. Vegas is my beer-filled, brain-free, Donny-Time Fun Zone.

And while sexism in the craft beer industry is being looked at under a harsh spotlight here in Ontario and, of course, almost everywhere else... maybe not so such in Las Vegas. Case in point: Sin City Brewing. This was the only craft brewery I saw here when I first came to Vegas in 2007. I was drinking MGD at the time so I didn't pay much heed to them.

If you are waiting for political correctness to land
in Vegas, don't hold your breath. The strip is built
on three things for adults - money, gambling and
sex. This is what I was told when I asked anyway.

But you will notice in the photo that the brewery logo is the silhouette of a naked woman... with a devil's tail. That might not fly up here right now. So I waited until a lady was working and decided to go in and ask. They made a great IPA, pine on the nose, malt back-end. I forget her name because, of course, "I won't forget." (Please refer to above paragraph regarding my age.) The conversation went something like this. I explained the push against sexism in craft beer marketing up here and asked if they ever got flack for their imagery. "Your first time here?" she asked. No, my 12th, I said. "You see those trucks up and down the street all day, all night, advertising 'girls to your room'?" she asked. Yes, of course, they're everywhere. "This place is built on three things - money, sex and gambling. That's never gonna change." Does it ever bother her? "No, it's like working in a factory with a loud fan. After a while, you don't hear the noise," she shrugged. Well, okay, there you have it. Also at some point, I'm 99% sure she worked in a factory with a loud fan.

But I love Vegas for two reasons. Great American craft beers plus the noise, the buzz and the lights. This town is always alive, even at 4 am. Yard House, my good friends, I'm coming back May 6th to 14th. Tell the Golden Knights to still be in the playoffs because this place is crazy when they are and I'll hopefully be watching my Maple Leafs on some humongous 25-foot screen in a casino. Best way to watch the NHL playoffs ever! But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Back soon with... *checks notes"* oh geezuz, the Sparklepuff Triple IPA controversy. Why would I do that to myself? Until next time, I remain...

When Von Bugle met New Belgium...

When Von Bugle Brewing was launched several months back,
we kinda all went, "Okay, that's it? Seriously?" I mean, do not
get me wrong. This is a very nice Munich (Amber) Lager but
when Steam Whistle, an Ontario institution, is starting up a
second brewery, we expected... more? Like a lot more. Well,
there is more. We just don't know yet how much more. Hmm.

This is another one of those Big Beer deals I was told over two months ago... but have politely sat on. *Sigh*

Anyway, on Tuesday, it was officially announced that Steam Whistle, through their Etobicoke holding, Von Bugle Brewing, was contract brewing New Belgium Brewing's Fat Tire Amber Ale.

Who told me? The same person who told about Von Bugle Brewing more than two months before the Etobicoke brewery was announced (though staffers had hinted to me something big was cooking.) No idea who this person is. Just PMs through Twitter. Funky but non-specific and vague Twitter handle. You know, like no real name, no nothing. Could be a man; could be a woman; could be a Martian... I have no idea. But one thing is clear. He or she knows inside stuff at Steam Whistle. So whoever this is, well, they're batting two-for-two.

And for the record, No Name Attached has never sworn me to secrecy. But whenever I seek clarification at the brewery level, I'm usually told it's still "hush hush." (But not always.)

Why does New Belgium have an old-school bicycle on
their Fat Tire Amber Ale? Because that's what bikes
looked like in 1991. Yeah, kidding, try, oh, 1955. Chain
guards? Like anyone of us have ever seen those before. 

I get why. It's their secret story to reveal, not mine. But this No Name Attached person, who is following practically no one and has few followers (meaning it is likely a better-known Twitter person with this intentionally-tiny second account for backroom info), well, I don't know if they're connected to Steam Whistle-Von Bugle or just have a really keen ear to the ground? That it's a sales rep I've dealt with is a possibility or, at least, my best guess.

Okay, anyway, but it's out there so let's deal with that. So let's look at New Belgium Brewing. These guys are not newbies. Established in Fort Collins, Colorado, back in 1991, they are considered among the pioneers of the American Craft Beer Movement. Their Fat Tire Amber Ale, while maybe considered a little less buzz-worthy these days by craft drinkers, was some pretty exciting shit back in the nothing-but-macro days. As well, it's still one of the bigger selling American craft beers out there (likely Top-Five for that style) so if it works, leave it alone, right?

But the brewery itself is notable for a few reasons.

Along the left side of New Belgium Brewing in Fort Collins are a huge
amount of bike stands for customers. They're also in he foreground here
that I've cropped out because you know what a bike looks like. It's got
two wheels, a seat that's usually uncomfortable, a chain. Apparently, it's
part of a healthy lifestyle but I only know what I read about that stuff.

Number one, it's independent. In fact, it's employee-owned. At Year One of Employment, each employee gets their stake in the place. That is not a small deal. It's actually pretty damn huge. With craft brewery buy-outs happening more and more in the US, it's nice to see a brewery that quite literally can't be bought out by a macro.

And it's even nicer to see Steam Whistle and by extension, Von Bugle associated with New Belgian. Why? The three original Steam Whistle founders, Greg Taylor, Cam Heaps and Greg Cromwell, are no longer involved with the brewery. Founded in 1999, Cromwell left just a couple of years later to join his wife in Australia and create a brewery there. Taylor retired in 2017 from the day-to-day operations.

Is this green worth gold? It may well be soon. And
some believe that New Belgian's recent alliance
with Steam Whistle/Von Bugle may be tied to the
wacky tabacky and its legality here in Canada.

However, long not after Taylor stepped away, he became president of Nuuvera, a humongous cannabis company that spans the globe. (Okay, now hold that thought for just a second!)

Heaps is the son of Dan Heaps, the former owner of the Upper Canada Brewing company, eventually bought out and shut down by Sleeman's Brewing out of Guelph (which is, of course, now owned by Japanese mega-giant, Sapporo.) After that, Cromwell, Taylor and younger Heaps, then Upper Canada employees, struck out to found Steam Whistle, makers of Canada's best and best-known Czech-style craft pilsner. Canadian craft beer history, one thing really well, blah, blah, blah.

So I was happy to hear about the new connection between New Belgian, a fiercely-independent brewery and Steam Whistle-Von Bugle simply because a board of directors now runs Steam Whistle. The same fierce loyalty to the Steam Whistle's original owners' dream of remaining independent forever might be altered somewhat if run by another group. Which it now is.

Jordan St John, left, shown with with Robert Arsenault, aka
Drunk Polkaroo at the 2018 Ontario Brewing Awards and
Golden Tap Awards in September. Jordan has his own theories
on the Von Bugle-New Belgian association. Is he correct? Oh,
yeah, he probably is. Well, I'd be in serious shock if he wasn't.

So I guessing I'm hoping this new association with New Belgian might keep them inclined to stay the independent course. We'll see.

But is there even more to this? Esteemed (he might go as far as "famed") Toronto beer author Jordan St John believes there may be even more to this deal. For the record, Jordan has a shit-ton (that's a real measurement) of craft beer cred. He's co-authored a few books on Ontario craft beer, two with Robin LeBlanc, another with Alan Mcleod, was Sun Media's syndicated beer columnist for about five years and he really, really likes jam. (I don't know, man. Ask him.)

So he writes about beer. I write about beer. What's the difference between us? Allow me to explain. Okay, you see that Third Year University Advanced Calculus class? That's him teaching it. Go a little lower for me. No, not freshman, that's too high. Lower. No, that's high school graduation. Go lower. Okay, you see that kid sitting in the back corner of  Grade 9 High School Remedial Math class? The one that looks as high as shit? That's me.

It is impossible for me to think of Steam
Whistle without also thinking of our
driver Vince's bull terrier named Paul
From Shipping. Beautiful dog. Love it.

Okay, now that I've established a clear level of difference in our respective credentials, allow me to continue. About three weeks ago, Jordan went on a very illuminating Twittter roll. He wondered aloud if "there are any Toronto breweries with a hastily-introduced flagship brand..." Full stop. That would be Von Bugle. He then continued to wonder if that brewery "just happen to have an outsized, retrofitted in a suburb." Full stop. Von Bugle's in Etobicoke, right around the corner from Ken Woods' Black Oak Brewing. (There's no connection - just giving you a sense of location.)

He went on to further suggest "you'd get to brew interesting things and test marketing for a period in the future where more states were legal and marijuana was no longer a Schedule 1 drug in the US. Heck, you'd have a supply ready to go." Full stop. Marijuana is legal in 10 of the USA's 50 states. So 20% of the states in the country. Marijuana is now legal here in 10 Provinces and two territories, meaning, *looks at map* huh, the whole country. How bout dat?

He also noted that an American brewery could be "in a position where you had already diversified to the east coast of the United States and you had no more market share to gaining from traditional craft brewing." Full stop. New Belgium opened a second brewery in Asheville, North Carolina back in 2014. Marijuana is very much illegal there.

This is New Belgium's Asheville, North Carolina brewery that
opened in 2014. Beer author Jordan St John is wondering if
the company has gone as far as it can go in the craft brewing
genre and is looking to cash in on the legality of marijuana up
here in Canada? As theories go, this might not be far-fetched.

Okay, continuing on, he wondered that if you "were a large craft brewery from the USA from a state where marijuana was legal..." (it is in Colorado) "... and you had interstate regulations temporarily limiting your audience, it might make sense to purchase an extant undervalued property and sell your marijuana to a whole country."

Now, this last thought hinges on a couple of key points. One, Jordan is surmising (whimsically or not) that perhaps New Belgium has entered a deal with Von Bugle to brew their biggest beer with an eye to scooping up the entire Etobicoke facility at some point in the future. If the sale were allowed by the regulatory powers-that-be up here (and let's face it, hundreds of American companies have Canadian investments so probably), they would have an established base of operation for possible marijuana distribution in a country where that exact thing is now permitted.

But would they be interested in a country like Canada whose total population is a ninth the size of the US? Absolutely. Why not?

Is this the next beer that may be
available to us from the folks at
Von Bugle, now is association with
New Belgium Brewing? Well, it
sounds like that's the talk around
the Etobicoke brewery. Liking this.

Market share is market share and international holdings are always good from a business vantage point. Canada may seem small next to our neighbours below us but in terms of population, we're equal to Illinois plus Michigan plus Washington plus Colorado with Maine thrown in for good measure. To an American business, that ain't a small base of consumers.

What can I tell you? Canada, with its relaxed marijuana regulations, has suddenly become the sexy siren at the school dances. The Ugly Duckling became a Beautiful Swan. And granted, dozens of our brewers are now looking to add marijuana's active ingredient, THC, to beers up here. Dozens and dozens. Personally, I say, hey, go nuts. I don't really partake anymore - or haven't in a good while - but the simple fact is, at my age, if I stand up quickly, I can get exactly the same head rush. But as far as I'm concerned, it's 10,000 times safer than alcohol. So have at it.

So Jordan may well be ahead of the curve on this one so there's probably nothing I can add from a business perspective. But I do have a little nugget from a craft beer perspective. Talking to my Steam Whistle driver, Vince, about the New Belgium deal, I asked if we could expect more of their products once Fat Tire was established. Yeah, he told me, there was talk about "Voodoo something." Wait, I asked, do you mean Voodoo Ranger IPA?  Yeah, he said, that's the one. Okay, much like Jordan's musings, that's a wait-and-see. But Voodoo Ranger IPA would make a lot of hop-heads up here pretty damn happy. We'll see. But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

#IGBrewCrew gets their Welly's on!

This was the #IGBrewCrew in action at Wellington Brewing
on January 11. And believe me, we put the "inactive" into
"in action." But we made ourselves what we believe to be a
fantastic British-style old-school Stout called 5/5. We'll see!

Like most of us, I seldom venture onto my emails these days. Emails are pretty 1990-2010, the era when they were the cutting edge of communication technology. These days, I can relay a personal message to pretty much anyone in the world through phone texts, Facebook, Twitter or Whats App. And I do. Much to their annoyance. (Hey, gang, whatever emotions happen on their end of the phone is their issue, not mine.)

So when I got an email from one Kenneth Pyper, I immediately thought, "Oh, I wonder which collection agency he represents." And then when I saw the subject line, "Brew Day," I thought, "Ohhh, man, they're getting good." This is how they lull you into a false sense of security. They find your weakness and exploit it.

Well, it turned out that he was better known to me (to all of us, really) as Ken, The Ontario Beer Guy. (The Kenneth thing threw me off just as someone calling out "Donald!" is unlikely to illicit any reaction from me.) And on that December morning, he was inviting me to be part of a Brew Day on January 11 at Wellington Brewing in Guelph, one of Ontario's oldest craft breweries.

This would be me and my Malt Partner, Tiffany, who's
probably better known as "The Travelling Pint" on
Instagram and Twitter. She decided on that name
because The Traveling Wilburys was already taken.

I responded instantly that yeah, I'd always wanted to visit Wellington as their Imperial Russian Stout is a major love of mine. (I also love some people but the beer list is larger and more deeply felt.) And then, as Odin is my witness, I responded a day later and asked, "Wait, what's Brew Day?" I suspect my question alone to something that obvious was enough to make Ken ponder the use of the "buddy system" at the brewery. And in my specific case, a leash.

So he explained that we go there, we make a beer, we drink some beer and then we publicize the fun on social media. Well, I'm not bragging but I score an A+ for all of those things... except the making of the beer part, which is new to me. But I am certainly down to learn a new skill. So long as it's beer-related, anyway. It turns out there's a gang of fun-loving hooligans, co-founded by Ken himself, called the #IGBrewCrew (the Instagram Brew Crew) that travel from brewery to brewery making funky new beers. And I was being invited to join the fun. So I asked my immediate superior at work, Trey, if he could spring me on a Friday, traditionally a busy day at the Beer Store, and his muttered response was "Yes, please."

Boy, the #IGBrewCrew cannot thank these two fellows
enough for their guidance on Brew Day. That would be
Brewmaster Marvin Dyck on the left and owner Brent
Davies on the right. Marvin walked us all through the
brewing process during the day while Brent took time
out of his hectic schedule to give us the history of the
brewery over our lunch-hour. Just two fantastic guys!

I'm not sure what that means but it's gotta be good, right?

So I dutifully drove to Guelph that early morning on January 11 and with the help of Google Maps,("No, not that left, you idiot, the other left...") landed at Wellington Brewery, a town fixture since 1985.

Once inside in their quite-large taproom, our crew, which numbered 14 sleepy-eyed, need-coffee (they had some for us) wannabe brewers, was greeted by Karyn Boscariol, Welly's events coordinator-media-community outreach person, who walked us through how the day was going to proceed. ("In an orderly fashion" was not mentioned once.) She then introduced us to the man who would be our Brew Shepherd for the day - Marvin Dyck. Yes, the very same Marvin Dyck who is Wellington's Brewmaster. Basically, an Ontario Legend. For us? Well, now, this just got better and better.

I recognized a few people. Ken, of course, but also Tiffany Martin, aka Travelling Pint on Twitter and Instagram, as well as Steve Hukari, one-quarter of the founding members of South Ontario Beer Boys (@SOBeerBoys), who have at this point raised over $20,000 for McMaster's Sick Children's Hospital in little more than a year.

"Okay, here's where you earn your keep today," said Marvin on the
left. Wait, what? Physical labour? Why was I not warned of this?
Well, we poured malts into a bucket so physical might be overselling
it a little. But Ken is eyeing those bags pretty warily, I would say.

Okay, so what would we be brewing on this fine January morning? Well, Marvin informed us we would be creating a British-Style Stout. That met with a 100% Approval Rating from our rag-tag squad. And that meant LOTS of malts! So off to the malt room we wandered where Marvin had a crap-ton of bags waiting for us. He got us to pair up for a ceremony that could only be called "The Pouring Of Malts Into A Five-Gallon Home Depot Pail Resting On An Old-School Weight Scale." Religious experience. My kind of denomination, too. So Tiffany and I paired off and were charged with the pouring of the Smoked Barley Flakes, one of almost a dozen malts that were used. So I poured the bag, which was not actually heavy but just a little awkward because it's grain. It went like this. Tiffany: "Okay, more, more, more... a little more, little bit more... okay, way too much." I'm not a professional pourer, people!

What I didn't realize until afterward is that
another Ontario Craft Beer Legend was
among us. Karyn Boscariol, shown here in
a Guelph Today online photo by Kenneth
Armstrong, is founder of Queen of Craft
brewing sessions at Wellington whereby
women take over the brewery for a day and
do what we did in an inclusive environment.

Marvin assured the pair of us that you can't have enough malts in a good stout and that a little extra Smoked Barley Flakes was just fine. So when you try it, if you notice, "Hey, that's some real strong Toasted Barley Flakes in this," yeah, that's Tiffany and me doing our thing.

Okay, once we all poured our buckets of malt, this giant vacuum-like tube transported it all to the initial boil in a huge kettle where we would be taking turns stirring it with a paddle. And I mean a literal canoe paddle that had huge holes drilled in it. Lousy for use at the lake, perfect for beer. 

From there, we wandered from place-to-place throughout the brewery, first to the canning and bottling area where we were told exactly how the beer lands in those containers. Humongous rolls of all-too-familiar labels were stacked throughout the area. And for the uninitiated, not-yet-labelled cans come down the track in the canning machine without tops, are filled, and then the tops are sealed on. Bottles, same premise. Uncapped, filled, then capped. And then labelled. Later, we buy them and drink them. The Circle of Life but for beer. It all starts with a heavy dose of too much Smoked Barley Flakes and travels forward.

From there, it was over to the production area where Brewer Jeremy, in his stain-covered clothes (hence, the hardest worker there), explained how the big computers behind him - and we're talking NASA-looking stuff here - basically monitors every single batch of beer being brewed at various stages throughout the brewery at that exact moment.

Show me a brewer in dirty stained clothes and
I'll show you a brewer earning his keep. Here,
Jeremy walks us through how the automation at
Wellington monitors every batch in every vat.

Now normally, at this point, I would rail on with my "But This Is How The Machines Take Over!!" conspiracy theory. However, there were many in the group I didn't really know so I kept that to myself. No one wants to be thought of as "Hey, do you remember Weird Machine Conspiracy Guy?"

At this point, we had done all we could do, vis-a-vis the brewing process so it was back to the tap-room where Karyn explained some packaging. She had talked to their designer and he had suggested we call the beer "5 out of 5 Foreign Export Stout." Being as the room was filled with Instagrammers who constantly rate beers online, that met with overwhelming approval. In fact, I voiced my consent by noting loudly (my only volume), "I knew if I lived long enough, I knew I would get a perfect score at something," I announced. "Now I've finally done it. I've lived my dream. I'm not even gonna wear a seatbelt on the drive home!!"

Now, a quick side-note on Karyn Boscariol, if I may. It turns out during my subsequent research that she has a pretty impressive accomplishment. She is the founder of Queen of Craft, a group of women who come in and take over the brewery in a friendly, non-threatening environment. 

Brewmaster Marvin adds the final ingredient: yeast.
So what does yeast look like? Well, imagine if you
will, grayish porridge. Hard to believe something so
ugly is part of something so beautiful as tasty beer.

As she told cbc.ca in a March 2017 interview, "We're looking at a paradigm shift where women are now becoming participants in beer. (The) craft beer industry is booming and almost 40 per cent of all craft beer breweries are run by women or employed by women." To that end, any beer brewed by Queen of Craft sees a portion donated to Guelph-Wellington Women-In-Crisis, certainly a worthy cause. I last had their Spice Oddysey Chai Latte Stout and damn it was good.

Moving along, our lunch hour was highlighted with a visit and talk from brewery co-owner Brent Davies, who walked us through the history of Wellington Brewing, what the day-to-day activities were around there and basically, everything we needed to know about the outfit in a nutshell. He fielded questions, offered up observations and even thanked us for making the trip there. (I made sure I shook his hand and thanked him before he left.)

After lunch came more work and this one was actual physical labour. With the contents shifted out of the brewing vat, a giant door was opened at the bottom where all the spent grain remained. Our job? Rake that used grain out into huge buckets so the tank could be cleaned afterwards. So I did what I always do when physical exertion is involved.

Steve Hukari of the Southern Ontario Beer boys puts
his back into the raking of the spent malts. And I
applaud his effort and the efforts of others who took
the rake to clean out the vat. Just when I was ready
to, it was all done. It's really funny how that works...

I broke out my camera and started taking pictures of everyone. You see, no one ever thinks to stop the person taking pictures. No one ever hands us the work rake. Why? Because people like having their picture taken. You wanna get out of work? Carry a camera. And if you have an old-school digital camera like mine, they think, "Oh, he must be like the serious photographer here." It's really that simple.

And so you know, I took it upon myself to investigate an increasingly common craft beer brewer phenomena during the day. In a quiet moment when we were walking from place to place in the brewery during the process, I had an opportunity to ask Marvin the same question you would ask any Ontario Craft Beer Legend, should you come face-to-face with one. "How long did it take you to grow that beard?" For the curious, it took him about two years. Aren't you glad I was there to ask? I leave no mystery uncovered. And for the record, I think the gray streaks are natural.

With the final pouring of the yeast by Marvin, our work there was done. We had made our 5 out of 5 Foreign Export Stout or at least, we had gone as far as we could go. All that remained was the fermenting and the eventual canning of what is bound to be the 2019 Beer of the Year.

It blew me away when Wellington announced
their February releases and there was our
5-out-of-5 Foreign Export Stout next to the
Chocolate Milk Stout and the new Dissolved
Splendor Bourbon Barrel-Aged Baltic Porter.
I mean, holy crap, that's our beer right there!

Within the week, Karyn emailed us all and asked how February 9th (this Saturday) worked for all of us. Well, turns that it worked just fine. (An asked-for Saturday off work, another "Yes, please" from Trey. I wonder what that means...)

And man, once the artwork was released, the Instagrammers were all over it, posting announcement of the Big Release Party from 2 to 5 pm at the brewery. Steve from Southern Ontario Beer Boys hyped the release, noting the beer was brewed by "some of Ontario's top craft beer influencers."

For the record, I don't consider myself a craft beer influencer. I just drink a lot of beer, post pictures mostly on Twitter and say, "Hey, look! I drank this!" I would say I'm more of a Craft Beer Influenza, in that I talk about beer so much, it can sometimes make you feel a little sick. That said, after over a year away, I am making my way back onto Instagram as I finally have a phone that takes killer photos. So if you're looking for something to do this Saturday from 2 to 5, come join the #IGBrewCrew at Wellington. Man, do we have a beer for you. But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...