When a picture's worth 1,000 words...

My son, David, has what I call the "Batman Angle" down in this pic
which he hoped would find its way into Daddy's Beer Blog. Well, call
me a sucker or a sentimental fool but of course, I'm gonna use this!!!
It's Daddy's proudest moment when his son takes his first beer pic.

The strangest thing happened a couple of weekends back. I had driven my son, David, to London, the city where his Mom and I traditionally do what I like to call the "prisoner exchange." She lives in Sarnia, I live in Oakville so we split the difference when shuttling my boy between his two distant homes.

Later that evening, after he went back to his Mom's, I got a text from her. This sometimes can be bad news, though usually of the "David ate a whole container of ice cream and is now puking" variety. Or perhaps "David has a weird rash on his ass. Any ideas?" And then there's my all-time favourite phone call from her when he was in Grade 4 - "Your son pulled the fire alarm at school!!!" When I couldn't stop laughing, she added to the gravity of the situation by explaining, "This is serious! The fire trucks showed up and everything!" This, of course, put me quite literally on the floor, howling with more laughter, almost unable to breathe.

While David has never taken a beer picture for this blog, he
has been in many pics as he often accompanies Dad to the
best craft breweries. Here he is at Barnstormer Brewing in
Barrie with our favourite dude and soldier Brother Hago!!

.
Once you become parent, you get a keen awareness that Mommies and Daddies don't always have the same senses of humour when it comes to a child's shenanigans. But these are things parents deal with all the time. You simply adjust accordingly. Turns out it's not funny when your child pees on Mommy's shoes, even if they're those butt-ugly purple and black pumps. Just as Moms learn it's also not funny when he takes the scissors to your old high school football jersey (no matter how many times Mom has tried to throw it away.) And if you do find it funny, well, take your laughter elsewhere.

Anyway, back to the text from his Mom. It was two beer pictures of a Belgian Moon wheat in a Guinness glass as you see above. One was kind of from a distance and not as sharp but the other? There it is right up top there. A really great beer picture! It has the tilted Batman angle, favoured by two of the best craft beer photographers around, Drunk Polkaroo and Beer Brother Hago. It came with the message, "Don, David got you two pics for the beer blog."

Last Father's Day, David presented me
with this Toronto Maple Leafs sweater.
Upon learning I would be in Las Vegas,
watching our Leafs on New Years Eve,
he asked if I was wearing his gift to the
game. Well, of course I would, I told him.
It was a great gift so I was thrilled to put
that wool sweater on come game time!

I instantly texted back, "Did David really take these?" Well, she replied, not only did he take them, he also wrote the attached text, pretending to be her.

I know how my boy's mind works. He didn't want to say, "Here, Daddy, please put this in your beer blog" so he pretended it was Mom doing the asking. He thinks it makes a better and stronger case for blog inclusion if it's coming from Mom. That said, he's taken dozens of photos that have appeared here. He's very handy with my digital camera but as my iced-tea drinking boy, he's never taken an actual beer photo on a cell phone because he's never actually had a beer. In fact, the Belgian Moon was being drunk by Mom's boyfriend and David just decided to go into Beer Picture Taking Mode on the spur of the moment.

So I threw the photo up on Facebook, explained it was David's first-ever beer photo and basically said: What do you guys think? Because it's Facebook and David is very much loved by my friends on there, the response was, as expected, overwhelmingly positive. Hago was first on deck, suggesting the picture was worthy of a blog of its own. After that, dozens more weighed in, praising it through the roof. But when Yellowbelly Brewing's (St. John's, Newfoundland) very own Brewmaster Liam Mckenna simply replied, "Brilliant," I knew, well, this was a certified award-winner.

I also put it on Twitter reluctantly because, well, it can be way crankier than Facebook so I prefaced it with "Please no nasty comments about the beer or the glass" and went on to explain it was my son's first beer photo.

This is Shehan De Silva, founder of Lost Craft Beer, in a picture used by
Bay Street Bull for an online story. You see, the financial website follows
"money people" such as Shehan, who worked for a handful of years with
the Royal Bank of Scotland before ditching it all to start a brewery. Now
I personally think that's pretty noble but hang on as we are about to tell
the story of how his gin-joint, Lost Craft Beers, got started back in 2016.

Because Belgian Moon is brewed by a Canadian macro, Molson's and Guinness is far too large to be a craft brewery, I was nervous there might be a few nasty shots across the bow from the many craft beer drinkers on my followers' list. David's not on Twitter but I wasn't prepared to read negative stuff about this photo. But knowing it was my kid, everyone was both cool and awesome. In fact, I ran a poll with very pointed answers, asking should I run this picture in my blog? So 15% answered "Use it in your beer blog." Then 20% clicked on "Why are you even asking?" A solid 25% hit the "Seriously good pic! Use it!" option while an overwhelming 40% opted for "Don't be a dick! Use it!" 

I knew putting the word "dick" in an answer would make it, by far, the favourite. But that's the story of how David got a beer picture in here.

I got my high school friend, Sandy, to hold up my Lost
Craft Revivale Lagered Ale at St Louis Wings here in
Oakville and suggested she was stealing it. The joke
here is that even in high school, Sandy despised beer..

And unlike many of my long-winded openings, at least this one has something to do with beer.

Which brings us to the beer portion of this little horse-and-pony show. It seems I've been drinking an inordinately high amount of Kolsch (lagered ales) lately. Not my first style choice when I'm purchasing but it seems to be one favoured by local restaurants. I'm not at all surprised as the style is long considered to be a strong crossover between macro and micro.

First, it was at The Keg, which has always served up a big-time favourite of mine, Collective Arts Brewing's (Hamilton) Ransack The Universe IPA. But my beloved Ransack is no longer there. Fearing the worst when I scanned their beer menu, I was happy to see that Beau's All Natural Brewing's (Vankleek Hills, Ontario) Lug Tread Lagered Ale was added. So when long-time best bud, Dave and I went to The Keg for my belated birthday dinner, I was happily piling back the Province's premier Kolsch with my prime rib dinner. You know what beer goes well with medium-rare prime rib? Any damn craft beer they have! At that point, it's "mainly because of the meat." Dave, who's old like me, will get that reference.

Here's a marketing fact for us.  Shehan De Silva believes their products'
minimalist design makes his three beers stand out more prominently at
the LCBO. He may be onto something. Sometimes less is, indeed, more.

Quick question: Do vegans even know about prime rib because, frankly, I think that might be a deal-breaker!

But there's been another Kolsch in my life lately. You see, my high school buddy, Danny, has played two recent music gigs at St Louis Wings in Oakville and the only craft beer they have in stock is Lost Craft Beer's Revivale Lagered Ale. 

Now, after extensive trips to Europe, notably Germany, Lost Craft founder Shehan De Silva decided their flagship beer when he was kicking things off a few years back should probably be a Kolsch.

In what is now a time-honoured tradition (so it's happened twice), Sandi,
right, the organizer of so many White Oaks reunions, pours a beer for
our musician Danny, left, while Dave the photographer snaps a pic. But
Sandi was pouring Danny a craft beer - the Lost Craft Revivale Lagered
Ale at my suggestion. Danny drinks any beer but he really loved this one.

In my mind, that's a smart choice. You want your first beer to be accessible to beer drinkers at large.

Initially contract-brewed out of Etobicoke's Cool Brewing, De Silva later shifted in 2016 to Common Good Beer Company in Scarborough, which, under the watchful eye of Brewmaster Jamie Mistry, contract brews a large number of small Ontario craft breweries' fare. Don't get me wrong - I like to see craft breweries as bricks-and-mortar facilities unto themselves but even breweries as big as Collective Arts began as contract brewers in Nickel Brook Brewing in Burlington. You gotta start somewhere. And if the beer is really good, well, we're less concerned about an actual structure.

So is the Revivale Lagered Ale any good? Oh hell to the yeah, for its style, it's top notch.

During its brief beer existence, Sextant Craft
Brewery put out the Why So Sirius? Pale Ale,
a beer later purchased by Lost Craft Beer and
remarketed as Sirius Premium Pale Ale. Brand
new can but the same great taste and still made
at Common Good Brewing out in Scarborough.

After all, at the 2017 Ontario Brewing Awards, it took gold for the Best Lagered Ale.

As with most lagered ales, it's got a somewhat grassy, grainy nose but there's a light fruit that comes through on the tongue as you're drinking this 4.8%, 19 IBU (international bitterness units) beer that makes it, well, a dandy, little bar beer that's a solid step-and-a-half above the macros on tap.

But you know, it's not always my beer opinion that counts. So when my man, Danny, pulled the plumb St Paddy's Day gig at St Louis Wings, there was a bunch of us there. And one was Sandi, the lovely lady who organizes our White Oaks Secondary School reunions every Summer. She had made the trek in from Woodstock for the gig. But while Danny was playing, she said, "I have to buy him a beer. What do you suggest?" So I handed her my empty can of Revivale and said to get one of those. So she did. When Danny was finished his set, I asked him what he thought of it. "That's a really good beer!" he responded. So there we go. Another man on the path to good craft beer. I'm bringing them over, one musician at a time.

But Lost Craft has two more beers (one with an odd but interesting twist) to look at here so let's start with their Crimzen Premium Red Ale because any time I get a good red ale in my hands, I am the happiest of campers (despite the fact I only camp in comfy hotels because... indoor toilets, bears and stuff.) Whenever I see Crimzen at the LCBO, I always grab a couple of cans because I like having a nice British-style red in my fridge and frankly, a smooth red ale is a great starter beer. This is exactly that. Pouring a nice amber-red (that's a glass of Crimzen in the above picture), this 4.7% charmer is all apple on the nose with some light caramel and spice on the tongue. As a good red should be, it's quite refreshing. Call me a fan.

The third and last beer in the Lost Craft stable is an interesting story in itself.

You may wonder why my buddy, Danny, as well as the
Leafs-Habs game behind him is in perfect focus while I
am but a blur on cowbell. That's just how speedy I am.
Like The Flash, it's hard to get a focused picture of me.
I'm just that fast. And oh yes, the Leafs blanked the
Habs that night 4-0 so it sucks to be a Habs fan now!

In the shared Common Good brewing facility was another small contract brewery called Sextent Craft Brewery which made one beer - the Why So Sirius? American Style Pale Ale. So in February 2017, Lost Craft ended up purchasing Sextent for an undisclosed amount and added a third beer to their ranks - the now renamed Sirius Premium Pale Ale. I find that all very interesting because I have never heard of a contract brewery buying out another contract brewery. As far as I can tell, the beer did not change one lick during the transition - it's still an evenly-balanced mix of malts and hops with no emphasis of one over the other.

Which is precisely what De Silva wanted when he made the purchase. In a release at that time, he noted, "The transaction adds a refreshing American-style Pale Ale that is complimentary to Lost Craft's core year-round product portfolio. Sextant's flagship beer, Why So Sirius? is well-balanced and sessionable, consistent with Lost Craft's brewing philosophy." And, indeed, that is precisely what you get with Sirius. It's a reasonable 4.9%, roughly 35 IBU ale that pours golden with some nice citrus on the nose and light pine on the tongue. So exactly as it was under Sextant. A solid west coast pale ale.

A huge shout-out to this lady, Megan, the manager of the St Louis
Wings outlet in Oakville. She invited Danny to be the entertainment
on St Paddy's Day and man, did we have some good old Irish fun on
that, the most sacred of all Irish traditions. Plus she keeps that tasty
Lost Craft Revivale Lagered Ale icy cold for me when I get there...

So there you have it. A column that started with a boy Finding Craft in his photos and a brewery called Lost Craft to finish this up. That's what I call full circle.

Okay, coming up are a few big reads. A lot of us who used to drink macros lagers, such as myself, Beer Bro Glenn and Drunk Polkaroo don't pay too much attention to the style anymore. Is that because there is no solid craft lagers out there, my friends? Oh no no no. I went on a very deliberate hunt and found a few beauties for us to enjoy.

My pal, Tony Cox, recently made the shift from Nickel Brook Brewing in Burlington to Collective Arts Brewing in Hamilton, a mere 10-minute drive from his Hammer home. So he invited me over to his new digs and gave me the, ahem, "nickel tour." Some big stuff coming out of his new turf.

And while I am returning to Las Vegas on April 9th because I am so goddamn sick of this Winter That Will Not Leave, there's still the matter of the many tasty beverages I had while I was down there for my birthday week in February. So we'll have to investigate what really stood out and how Nevada stacks up in the craft beer sweepstakes! And, of course, where you find the best craft brewski's in Sin City. But Scooby Doo gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here for today. Until next time, I remain as always...

The Cowbell Caper...

I tell you, it doesn't matter whether it's the biggest concert of the year or
a gig at a bar, my friend Dave, right, always scores front row seats. It's
like he has these magical connections or something. Here, he has our
high school buddy, Danny, practically playing the guitar just for him!!

This is the story of how the St Louis Wings restaurant in Oakville got the cowbell it so desperately needed. Not that they knew it at the time, mind you. Some things you just discover as life ambles along around you.

It all starts with my high school buddy, Danny, who does solo gigs with his guitar all over Ontario. Well, the west of Toronto area anyway. He's played his gigs in places as prestigious as Port Credit and Streetsville, often referred to the Caribbean of the North. Now, he's finally cracked the elusive Oakville market, which is clearly akin to the Mayan Riviera in these northern parts.
This latest gig came when he was at the restaurant one night and saw another musician on the upper level. So he tracked down the manager, Megan, and said, "Hey I do that, too, if you're interested..."

The chalkboard at the front of St. Louis Wings
said it all on February 23rd. Yes, Dan Ford was
coming and yes, those little musical notes let you
know this guy's a musician and perhaps a felon.
"Live music" was yet another helpful clue. It's all
about being able to read between the lines, folks.

So I suspect Megan did what any bar manager would do and checked Danny's criminal record to make sure he had the minimum number of misdemeanors to ensure that he was, in fact, a legitimate musician. Since Danny's penchant for jaywalking (and getting ticketed for said crime) brought his numbers well into the acceptable musician levels, the gig was on for February 23rd. That is, of course, the same day that in 1945, US Marines raised the USA flag into the ground in Iwo Jima, which is relevant in that both Danny getting this gig and that Marine flag thing represent huge victories for North Americans at large. We'll let the future historians debate which victory was more significant. (Okay, it's probably the first one since 20 million soldiers on both sides didn't live to see who won World War 2. But a fresh gig is big, too.)

But Danny texted me earlier in the day to say he would need my assistance on a song. My response was an always-erudite "Huh?" because I have no prior misdemeanors (I'm more of an actual criminal - I rip those tags that say "Do not remove" off mattresses) and thus really don't belong on a musical stage. He assured me my participation could be easily handled - he needed me to play the cowbell at the beginning of one song.

"For America, for the Allies, for democracy and for
Danny Ford getting a gig 73 years from now, we
declare these are not ideal flag planting conditions."

Well, since the cowbell is easier to play than even the tambourine (hell, Betty of The Archies could play the tambourine and she's a damn cartoon), I agreed but of course, had no idea what song it was. I would find out when called upon in Danny's third set of the evening that it was The Rolling Stones' 1969 hit "Honky Tonk Woman." Well, that seemed simple enough... except no story involving either Danny or myself is ever really that simple. My life-long friend since Day One of Kindergarten, Dave, (the handsome clappy chappy in the first picture) was there with his ladylove, Joann, who insisted this could be a musical performance worthy of Facebook Live. Meh, why the hell not? I've posted far more ridiculous things on social media. "But you have to really play the cowbell!" Joann insisted somewhat emphatically.

Well, alrighty then... So my moment in the spotlight (there was no spotlight - why was there no spotlight?) came and I happily started cowbelling. In my mind, I knew exactly when Danny's guitar would kick in. But it didn't. After a brief hesitation on my end, I resumed. Why did Danny miss his cue, I wondered. He's a seasoned musician. He's been doing this for decades now.

After my Cowbell Extravaganza, my best bud, Dave,
told me he was getting lessons from a pro and posted
a picture of a cow wearing a cowbell. However, as a
craft beer drinker, I was able to one-up him on this.

Well, upon YouTube video review when I got home, I actually stopped a full 10 seconds short of the guitar kick-in. Danny was fine. It was me. Again, in my defence, no musical background.

But once I restarted, I just kept going. It was a cowbell extravaganza, as they may or may not say in the music industry. On Facebook Live, Joann filmed the opening part of my performance and then the big close. And then the comments started rolling in. For days afterwards, cowbell memes were created, challenges to my Cowbell Throne were issued, all from high school friends.

Most of the comments were of the "Needs more cowbell" variety, a riff off the famous Saturday Night Live skit but there was one voice of reason amidst the din. Danny's twin brother, Dennis, also a musician, was vacationing down in Mexico with his lovely wife, Kim, during the whole debacle and he took the time to weigh in after viewing the video evidence. "This song needs less cowbell" was his succinct reply. He was not wrong.

However, what I did not realize was that there was a familiar face at the bar that night. My coworker, Patchy, was there with a buddy. Turns out he didn't see me but he certainly heard me.

My poor Beer Store co-worker Patchy was an unwitting
audience member at St Louis Wings when I was showing
off my cowbell skills. It was a total coincidence he was
there but it is, in fact, his regular hang-out, he told me.

When I came wandering down the stairs to the bar's main area with my cowbell, I stopped at the bottom, gave them a little taste of my talent and headed back upstairs. Patchy's buddy, who was facing me, told him, "There's some lunatic over there hitting a cowbell." Patchy told me later, "I only saw you walking back up but I recognized the hair." Rock star hair without the rock star talent or rock star bank account - a concise summation of my life. What was previously confined to a reasonable handful of high school friends on Facebook was about to spread to my work-place.

So Patchy had to show our other co-worker, Trey, the video evidence from the previous night. Knowing that I would be involved in some kind of cowbell calisthenics on that night because I love boring coworkers with all the mundane munitiae in my life beforehand, Trey watched the video of me jumping around like a deranged orangutan, shook his head and simply said, "What a goofball. I thought you'd do it with more style." Trey has know me since 1999 when Prince told us we should party like it was, you know, that year. Why he would think I'd do anything ever with style is well beyond my comprehension.

I think my home-boy Drunk Polkaroo had this on the last
Polkapalooza, which was late last year. In fact, in Blyth,
he and Mrs Polkaroo stayed overnight, above a bakery. In
the end, I was almost as pumped about that as the visit to
the brewery. But I was just having this for the first time.

All of this finally brings me to the beer portion of this alleged beer blog. You see, when my buddy Dave jokingly told me that an actual cow with a cowbell was training him on the instrument so he could best me, I had to tell him I had an unfair advantage. And I told him, "Up in tiny Blyth, Ontario, there is a brewery called Cowbell Brewing. I have been drinking their product for nearly two years and thus, I always have the Cowbell within me."

But I actually had the "Cowbell" within me on this night. I had a day shift and there was still hours before Danny's gig so I went to Oakville's best LCBO in the Oak Park plaza, five minutes up the street from me. Lo and behold, they had Cowbell's Doc Perdue's Boxing Bruin IPA there as their craft selection is fantastic. Reasoning that if I was gonna to play the cowbell, I should drink some Cowbell was justification enough for a pre-show beverage. Also, that's pretty much what I'd do - cowbell or not.

Well, I am glad I finally had this one as it is everything that was advertised.

Twitter friend Jen Heaslip was super clever with this one picture as she
actually put a Grain & Grit In The Palms IPA in a freaking palm leaf. I
have eight or nine different photos of this beer and that didn't dawn on
me once. So @crftbeernkittns (that's Jen), I will say job very well done!

Cowbell Head Brewer Stephen Rich, who leads a team of six brewers, may have a misstep at some point in his career but I certainly haven't seen it yet. Both their Absent Landlord Country Kolsch and Doc Perdue's Bobcat Red Coast Red Ale are winners of awards in my annual "Best Of" year-end lists and the hits just keep on coming with the Boxing Bruin IPA. Using five different hops, they always put a touch a Belgian Candi Syrup in the mix (don't worry - there was no weird sweetness) and the 6.3%, relatively low 50 IBU (international bitterness units) ale pops with citrus and mango flavours. Hoppy and bitter, which is everything we ask for with a good west coast IPA.

And while I have never visited the brewery in Blyth, Ontario (though I will), one brewery that has seen a lot of me lately is Grit & Grain Small Batch Beer, a small but vibrant operation in west Hamilton. In fact, I have popped in there, three times in the last four weeks. The first time was with Beer Bro Glenn, who was a sickly lad at the time. But Joe Mrav, who founded the place with his wife Lindsey, back in October, gave us both a sample of their In The Palm IPA straight from the vat. But you can't (or maybe shouldn't) review a beer from a sample.

I think Glenn tried this when we first visited Grain & Grit
but due to excessive nasal congestion (eeeeww), he couldn't
really taste anything. He missed another beauty from them.

So after my son, David, and I saw Black Panther on a Sunday matinee (if you haven't, go see it - awesome!), we scooted back out to Hamilton the following weekend because In The Palms had just been released two days prior. I had to see if full cans (so six of them, of course - plus others) lived up to the aroma I remembered from the sample. Lemme put it this way. I opened the can on a chilly day outside in a medium breeze to take a picture and all I could smell was grapefruit in the air. I shouldn't have been able to smell anything as I was pouring it into the glass above my head on an upper wall in the wind. But I got blasted with grapefruit, nonetheless. At just 5% but a wicked high 90 IBUs, this one was as punchy as hell. While Glenn remembers getting some pineapple on the nose, I didn't but man, I got tons of grapefruit and a pine back-end on this bad boy, which is just an outstanding low-alcohol IPA.

But I also saw Joe again, as well as Lindsey this time around and have a brief chance to talk to both separately. Great people, friendly as the day is long and truly this small brewery is a labour of love for them both.

No, it's not the season for Saisons (which is actually the
word "season" in French) but at Donny's Bar and Grill,
it's always the season for a citrusy beer so I had to dive
into this warm weather fare before the Spring sprung!!!

But I was back again last weekend because Fairweather Brewing, another new Hamilton brewery on the same street was releasing their Sundrop Wheat IPA and I wanted me some of that. I'll review that in a few days but there was a couple of new offerings in the Grain & Grit retail fridge. Well, at least new to me. Well, Glenn, I'm happy to report that one of their beers is definitely riddled with pineapple goodness - their Pineapple Rye Pale Ale. At 5.3% (yes, this pale ale has a higher ABV than their signature IPA) and 47 IBUs, Brewed with pineapple puree and rye malts, as well as Mosaic and Amarillo hops, this has the light sweetness of the pineapple, the subtle twang of the rye malts and well, the hops give it a nice dry, bitter finish. Head Brewer Alex Sporn just keeps cranking it beauties.

But when I saw Joe this time, I came bearing gifts. I had a pile of those plastic snap-lids for either a four or six-packs of cans. I noticed Grain & Grit used those in their retail outlet. I figure that those aren't free and knowing they're still a small operation, I figured I'd help defray at least a little cost for them.

Childrens' book artist and all-around great guy David Buist, a Twitter buddy, lives
very close to Grain & Grit in Hamilton and when he saw their Light Ray Session IPA
and Circuit Breaker Session Saison in their retail, he said it reminded him of super
hero names. So he created this cartoon for the brewery! Buist is also the creator of
the famous Drunk Polkaroo-Donny Inception shirt that I wore to Vegas last time!!

I also bought a brewery shirt to wear on the strip for my next trip to Las Vegas as I think they have earned that high honour already. I travel to the brewery almost as much as I do to Vegas, after all.

But one more from these guys because I think they're fantastic to close this out - their Citrus Saison. Well, there's plenty of citrus on the nose on this 6%, 38 IBU one with some nice fruit and a bit of banana on the tongue. Pleasantly mild and a solid example of the style.

Well, that closes out this edition but coming full circle, my man, Danny, will be back at St Louis Wings this Saturday for the all-important Saint Patrick's Day gig. Will the cowbell come out and get play once again? Doubtful. I can't see me topping my last performance because, well, I was exceptional and that leaves me just one direction to go. Sadly, that's down. Forget about it. If you need proof, well, here's Manager Megan's brief taping of my last performance on Instagram. I call it: Who's That Idiot With The Cowbell? But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain as always...

A sick swing through Hamilton

The exterior of Grain & Grit Small Batch Beer with me and the
co-owner Joe Mrav inset under the spotlight there. That beer we
are holding up are samples of their In The Palms IPA, which will
not be released until it's canned and kegged for March 1st. But
Joe came to our table with samples tapped from the vat itself...

On Sunday, February 18th, I almost watched a man die in front of my very eyes.

Well, "die" might be a little strong. However, "Unravel at the seams" applies while "Fall apart like a Smart Car getting T-Boned by a Big Wheel" may be even more accurate.

Getting to the point, the guy was Beer Bro Glenn and I am happy to announce that he survived. Like most people who drink with me, he certainly finished the night in far worse shape than he started but at least this time, a nasty bug gets the blame, not me.

When Glenn drove all the way from Oshawa to Oakville, he was just a sniffly lad to start. Lots of nose blowing but essentially, he was still in one piece. As we traveled into Hamilton for a mini three craft brewery tour, well... shit started to turn south for my old college buddy. As we talked, laughed and continued the beer sampling journey together that day, I was pretending to check Twitter on my phone but was actually Googling which Hamilton hospital was the nearest to us at any given moment.

The first stop was to our friends at Collective Arts Brewing because I was intent on grabbing more of their Collective Project IPA No. 5 (New England Style Double IPA) as it is my runaway favourite of that style this year thus far. By a large margin, too, I should add. Well, lemme tell you, gang, my timing was pretty damn good for once.

This is the second selfie Glenn and I took while in Collective Arts. Glenn
ruled out the first one because his eyes, already watering, were far "too
squinty." It'll give you an idea of how bad that selfie must have looked if
this was the one given the green light. He's got that "I just sharted" look

Despite being three small separate rooms, there isn't a ton of space in the Collective Arts lounge area to start with so on a Sunday afternoon at around 3:30, lemme tell you, it was jammed. Nonetheless, we bellied up to the bar and got our on-site beers for the journey. Glenn grabbed their Life In The Cloud Hazy IPA, certainly a delicious choice while I, of course, opted for the IPA No. 5. Truth to tell, I was hoping the brewery's communications manager Toni Shelton would be around that day but she was nowhere to be seen on this sunny Sunday.

Once again, I have a Collective Arts Spiegelau IPA glass to go with the
proper brewery pint glass. After breaking two of their Spiegelau's, I
thought "nuts to that" and went for the far sturdier pint glass. But the
brewery's Toni Shelton read my plight and gifted me a new Spiegelau.

You see, before I left for Las Vegas to enjoy my Birthday Week (February 12-16) down there, I wrote one of these little columns on my issue with the Spiegelau IPA glasses. The issue is a remarkably simple one. They are insanely fragile and I have broken four of them thus far - two of which were Collective Arts branded. After that, I said, "No more. Nuh-huh. Not gonna do it" and bought their proper pint glass. While it, too, is made of glass, it may as well be titanium steel next to a Spiegelau.

Anyway, Toni read my spastic tale of woe and soon after, contacted me on Twitter to say she had set another Spiegelau aside for me. A very generous donation to a doomed cause?

Out front of Fairweather Brewing in Hamilton, you can see
I'm sporting this stylish "Drink Local" shirt gifted to me
by my friends Amy and Sandi at Christmas. While I am
always harping on about shopping locally, it's clear the
ladies know I'm not talking veggies. Drink local, folks!!!

But I was so pleased with her thoughtfulness that on my birthday, February 14th, in Vegas, I wore my new Collective Arts T-Shirt in front of the iconic "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" sign. (That story will be coming up in the immediate future - oh man, the American beers I enjoyed! The million dollar jackpots I didn't win! The showgirls who shunned me!)

But before we left Collective Arts, there was the small matter of getting our to-go beers. While Glenn opted for a few different ones, I knew their supply of IPA No. 5 was dwindling and straight up went for a six-pack. "Oh," the young lady said, "Let me see what's left." Turns out I got the last four in stock. All I can say about that is, well, sucks to be the next one in line. And anyone after him or her.

Now initially, we were thinking of a four brewery tour but because Glenn was slowly descending into "Dammit, Jim, he's dead!" Territory, we bypassed Merit Brewing (just this one time, gang) and drove straight to the west end to land at the two newbies we were dying (almost literally in his case) to try - Fairweather Brewing and Grain & Grit Small Batch Beer.

Finding Fairweather Brewing at 5 Ofield Road in the Ainslie Wood neighbourhood (an industrial street literally a stone's throw from residential), it seems they, too, had a bustling Sunday afternoon crowd on the go. But as we parked, I couldn't help but marvel at the size of the facility. Clearly, it used to be some sort of manufacturing company. Though our very helpful server told me what was housed there in its previous incarnation, I forget now. That said, whatever the previous business was, there is no chance it was as pure and noble and honourable as a craft brewery.

Okay, this is Fairweather's High Grade
American IPA caught in the sunlight
through a side window as the sun was
beginning to set. You see, I like to use a
little nature in my pictures when I can.
Just kidding, it was convenient lighting.

So how big is this place, I asked her. Gotta be at least 10,000-square-feet. She laughed and said, no, it was actually closer to 20,000. Holy Cannoli, that ain't small. You could house a plane in that. Is it possible they're using all that space? Not at the moment, she told me, saying the two far back corners are being rented out to other businesses because, well, there's that much unused space. "But if we need it for the brewery in the future, that space is ours to expand into," she smiled.

Open since last May, Fairweather is the creation of friends Ram MacAllister and Brent Milcz, both of whom attended Niagara College's Brewmaster program, and Dan Ryan, a longtime homebrewer. Their philosophy (edited here) on their website makes it clear that this is truly a labour of love. 

"(Beer) should be swirled, wafted, clanged together, sipped, shared, gazed at, spoken loudly over, savoured, spilled and taken everywhere... We will tirelessly strive to create the best beer you will find anywhere. Period... If you are even a little bit interested in flavourful, thoughtful experiences with people who love what they're doing, we're going to have a lot of fun together. After all, this is for you."

Now, poor Glenn was fast approaching the point where he soon wouldn't be able to smell or taste anything, constantly blowing his nose and wiping his eyes. Nonetheless, he bravely soldiered on ordering their 6% Still Shining Citrus Pale Ale while I opted for their 6.6% High Grade American IPA.

If you like your pale ales with a higher ABV - 6% - and a
heapin' helpin' of citrus goodness, look no farther than
Fairweather's Still Shining Citrus Pale Ale. This is tasty-ass

Both were top-notch brews. The High Grade at roughly 65 IBUs (international bitterness units) was very tropical fruit and melon on both the nose and the tongue, Very tasty. And the Still Shining at roughly 40-45 IBUs was, as advertised, citrus with some more citrus, all topped off with citrus.

But the Fairweather beer that blew this hophead away was their Silky American Oat Porter. This is one of the best of this style I have tasted in quite some time. Always on the hunt for the next hop beast, when a darker style grabs me by the neck and tosses me around the room like a rag-doll, I pay attention. Good Golly Miss Molly, this was some kind of delicious. One of these guys scored 100% in Porter 101 at Niagara (or perhaps at home.) And if it's the brainchild of all three, well, then you can have too many chefs in the kitchen. Silky is certainly an appropriate name for this 5.5% offering with its smooth chocolate, coffee and rich oatmeal on the back-end. It seems we have an early contender for my Best of 2018 list.

That's Fairweather Brewing's Silky American Oat Porter on the left and
Grain & Grit Small Batch Beer's Winter White Stout on the right. It still
freaks me out a little to drink a stout that's not jet-black. Old habits, eh?
I liked the white stout but found it just a touch too sweet for my tastes.

One last note on Fairweather (or at least until my next visit), among their product was - hey now! - branded Spiegelau IPA glasses so that makes two breweries in Hamilton that carry them. But I also noticed another Spiegelau glass with a wide base and a huge round body. Equally thin glass, though. We're so used to our IPA glasses that we often forget that Spiegelau is the name of the company, not the glass style.

When we asked our friendly server where Grit & Grain was, she pointed out the window and said, "See that white building over there? That's them." I actually walked over while Glenn drove so I could have a smoke.

This isn't the full picture from their website as I've lopped
off a third on the right but it gives you both a good sense of
the customer area, as well as the size of their vats. And if you
look at the top right, yup, that's Joe Mrav behind the bar...

But we were in for a special treat on this day as Joe Mrav, who co-founded the brewery with his wife, Lindsey, was actually our server on this day. Set up in a former garage with two huge bay doors, Joe was telling us that after they opened last October, "You'll remember we still had some beautiful warm days so we were able to open up the door to the outside. Everyone loved it." 

Joe came into the brewery business from a Mechanical Engineer career while Lindsey left her calling as a Graphic Designer and Digital Strategist. Joe, a homebrewer, told us that it was Lindsey that nudged him to take a chance with opening a small brewery. The pair then found German ex-patriot, now Hamilton resident Alex Sporn with a background in Chemistry, Biology and wine-making but also an enthusiastic homebrewer to head up their beer production.

The only hold-up, he told us, in their starting date was bureaucracy. "We were supposed to get our permit (from the City of Hamilton) in three months but it took six months and that was with me chasing them every day."

This picture from their website gives you an idea of what this place will
be like in the Summer with the bay-door wide open and a food truck at
the ready. Joe told us that they will be applying to the city for a patio
permit so they can fence off 15 or 20 feet out front so we can sit outside.
Based on the direction the building faces, it'll see sun from noon til dusk.

So that took their 2017 Summer opening hopes out of play but I just checked my calendar and it turns out there's another Summer fast approaching (though not quite fast enough for most of us.)

But let's get to the nitty, uhh, Gritty here - the beer. Checking their menu, I was dumbfounded. Their Light Ray Session IPA is a very reasonable 4.5% but its IBU is off-the-charts at 80. Is that a typo, I asked him? "No, it's 80 IBU but don't let that scare you," he reassured. Scare me? Uhhh no, I was pumped! I've had Double IPAs with 80 IBUs. The Light Ray was beautifully hazy, huge aroma of pineapple and orange with some grapefruit back end. I'm beginning to think I could have my Best of 2018 list done by June with three (so far) winners in this column alone. It was a great day for beer!

Grain & Grit's Huell Melon Pale Ale was another dandy in a
day filled with beauties. I'm beginning to think someone took
Hamilton and swapped it out for Portland, Oregon while we
weren't paying attention. What a craft beer scene there now!

Glenn, whose pulse I was now checking in 20 minute intervals, gamely tried the Huell Melon Pale Ale, a 4.7%, 47 IBU offering. When I tried it at home, it had delicious melon (no idea which - there's like a hundred - Huell Melon is the hop) on both the nose and tongue. Just another solid soldier.

I wandered out for a cigarette at one point and kind of journeyed around to the back of the property to see what kind of room they had to play with there. It looked like a decent distance between the brewery and the business directly behind it. So I asked Joe about potential room to expand. "No," he said, "We have maybe about 15 or 20 feet behind us that's our property. That's it." Well, that rules out expansion (at this location) but also ensures us they will be staying small batch from some time to come. There's something very reassuring about it.

But Joe wasn't done with us yet. With their In The Palms IPA scheduled to be released this weekend (and yes, I am driving in for some), he poured both of us a sample glass directly from the vat.

If you have not had Grain & Grit's Light Ray Session IPA,
then haul your butt over to 11 Ewen Road in west Hamilton
and get some pronto. One of the best sessioners I've ever had.

And then the damnedest thing happened. "I can smell this!" Glenn exclaimed loudly. Well, if that's not a testament to the power of great craft beer and its healing potential, I don't know what is. Okay, okay, the aroma was just that powerful that it probably cut through the blockage in his nasal passage but still, I believe in miracles. I'll wait until I have a full can in front of me to properly review it but this sneak preview? Damn, that thing was popping with flavour!

Well, all fun days must come to an end so Glenn and I grabbed some more beers and hit the QEW back to Oakville. Since there was no chance I was letting him drive to Oshawa in that sickly condition, we set up shop in the Man Cave. With Glenn comfortably set up in the Lazy Boy with my son's Spider-Man blanket and pillow, we drank some more beers, watched X-Men 1 and 2 (which Glenn had oddly never seen.) I noticed his eyes slowly closing towards the end of the second one as he settled in for the night. He and my Lazy Boy are old friends. The thing is we could have packed it in at any point in the day but, no, Glenn insisted on soldiering on. My old college chum wasn't willing to let the small matter of being as sick as a dog stop him. That shows both dedication and the possibility of previous head trauma. But Scooby Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

Sayonara to the Spiegelau...

According to Police Reports, this Collective Arts Spiegelau
(that would be this IPA specialty glass) was last seen in the
company of this staggeringly-attractive blonde IPA, which
was originally placed at the brewery's location on Burlington
Street in the Hammer. The glass recently died and the police
believe foul play may be involved. Its owner is picking up the
pieces, as we speak. We send him our thoughts and prayers.

There was this one day last Summer where I knew precisely what my former co-worker Jay Dawg was doing. Even though we were miles apart, I still knew. You see, I got a text from him. It said simply, "Having a slow Sunday sipper in my Spiegelau." A photo of whichever big, latest, greatest IPA was out at that moment came within seconds.

It was in his Collective Arts Spiegelau glass - the style created several years back by the German glassware manufacturers in tandem with American brewers, Sierra Nevada out of Chico, California and Dogfish Head out of Milton, Delaware, meant to optimize the taste of your IPA and blah, blah, blah, other stuff I don't buy.

However, the fact that he referred to his beer as a "slow Sunday sipper" also meant he was watching Drunk Polkaroo videos (as we all do) because that is one of Polk's folksy catch-phrases. It simply means the beer is probably high-octave, say, an ABV of 8% or more. When they're darker like Imperial Porters, Stouts or Belgians, he switches it up to "big boozy bastards." They're like original genuine bonafide Made-by-Polk Phrases. The man's an Ontario craft beer legend.

Screw you, Spee-gah-loo, as I am now opting for the more solid pint glass
from Collective Arts. Breaking these damn Spiegelau glasses has become
a hobby I no longer enjoy. This pint glass will do just fine. It is branded
Collective Arts, is sexy in a plain-Jane way and is not so damn fragile...

Eventually, Jay and I just started referring to any and all good IPAs as a "slow Sunday sipper in my Spiegelau" regardless of the day of the week. We simply liked Polk's alliteration... all those S's. And because I got tired of constantly Googling the damn word for the correct spelling, I simply started referring to the glass style as my Spee-gah-loo. You ever have one of those words that you simply can't remember how to spell, like, ever? Yeah, "Spiegelau" was mine. That it's a German name doesn't surprise me. I mean, their bloody word for pen is "kugelschreiber." Linguists will tell you German is the easiest language to learn because it's the most logical but a 14-letter word for pen? Work with us here, Germany!

"Hey, folks, it's me, Matt Johnston, co-owner of
Collective Arts Brewing in Hamilton. Look, if
you can't handle the delicacy of the Spiegelau
IPA glass, why not just stick with a regular pint
glass like this bad boy? If, like Don, your damn
hands are made of bricks, it's the right choice!"

So several years ago, I was given a two-pack of Spiegelau glasses from a friend as they were the latest, hippest IPA glassware craze at the time. While I, of course, thanked the friend profusely, I was also thinking, "Yes. It's an oddly-shaped IPA glass. I also have one that looks like a big damn boot." Various craft beer friends have rhapsodized over the difference Spiegelau's make to the taste of an IPA and I always nod agreeingly. "Uh-huh, yup, man, it sure does." And, of course at the same time, I'm thinking, "Look, unless this thing is lined with Idaho 7 and Amarillo hop resin, it's still just a damn beer glass." 

Now because those stupid Spee-gah-loo things are more fragile than your 90-year-old Grandma on ice skates, I broke both of mine within months. One time, I had simply washed it and was putting it in the drying rack. Nothing near it. *Ping* It broke. I probably should have turned off the ceiling fan in the kitchen first so as to not expose it to raging high winds like that. Perhaps it brushed against a spoon. Who can tell?

But they both kacked it and I thought, meh, that's that, then. Except I popped into Collective Arts Brewing in Hamilton a short time time afterward and holy cow patties, they had branded Collective Arts Spiegelau's for sale. I could have resisted, I suppose, but Collective Arts makes some of the best IPAs in Ontario and it is the official hipster IPA glass so... Also, Spiegelau glass, you are a foul and ruthless temptress. You show no mercy.

Okay, this Sawdust City Brewing glass, gifted to me by Barrie Beer
Bro Hago, and Town Brewing glass, gifted to me by me because I'm
all about spoiling myself, are now my de-facto Spiegelau glasses.
Are they exactly the same? No. Are they close? Yes. Do I care? No.

This is what the apple must have felt like to Eve in that weird nursery rhyme.

Well, I broke it, too (no way you saw that coming, eh?) so during Collective Arts' next big IPA release (like, six days or maybe six minutes later), I bought another. But I thought, "That's it. When this one dies, the lineage ends. The Spiegelau Family is over. Kaput. Nicht mehr." (No more.)

Anyway, I recently made two trips into Collective Arts within a week. The first was to buy Beer Bro Glenn some of their new beers that he was dying to try and knew he wouldn't be able to get his hands on because he lives in Oshawa. And the second was to replace the new beers that Glenn was dying to try because I drank the first ones. But between the two trips, I had managed to break my fourth Spiegelau. Do I give it one more try or... Nope! Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to my sexy in a plain way Collective Arts pint glass. Fully functional!! Not as achy breaky.

And here we have another entry into that Milkshake IPA derby
that people are so excited about. I thought it was okay although
the addition of Habanero Peppers was... odd? But Glenn really
wanted it, the brewery sold it in four-packs so suffice it to say,
Glenn went home with three of them. Not sure about this style.

So at some point, I'm gonna have to break it to Polk that there will be no more slow Sunday sippers in my Spee-gah-loo at Donny's Bar and Grill. Will he be gutted? Absolutely. (Polk: "Wait... what?") Will he get over it? Probably not. (Polk: "Get over what again?") But the man is a brave soldier and I know he will carry on. (Polk: "Wait? What exactly am I carrying? What the hell, man?")

Now I can invoke Polk's name here because I know he's broken a couple himself. One simply blew off his patio table once. I heard no mention of wind so I assume a mosquito flew past and the shock-waves from its wings were enough to send it flying. Beer Bro Glenn has broken a few himself though he only cops to two. He's klutzier than me so I'm not buying that bill of goods. Barrie Beer Brother Hago saw his Collective Arts soldier die at the hands of his lovely wife who was (ruthlessly and viciously) doing the dishes. But the most recent loss of a Spiegelau came at the hands of my Twitter buddy, Burlington Dave (@puckywuckums).

Is this glass as sexy as their Spiegelau? Does it have the same
tantalizing curves and finely-ridged bottom? No, I suppose not.
However, this is something unique about my new Collective
Arts pint glass. IT'S STILL IN ONE DAMN PIECE! You
know, there's something to be said about durability here...

On February 3rd, he took to Twitter to praise Collective Arts Collective Project New England Style Double IPA No. 5 as not only the best of the brewery's numbered IPA series so far but also one of the best beers he's ever had. Within the hour, he was back on Twitter, mourning the loss of his Spiegelau in a tragic dish-washing accident. That struck a chord with me because it was also the last beer my Spiegelau held in its delicate frame before its demise.

Is it possible that the Collective Arts Collective Project New England Style Double IPA is so bursting with flavour that a glass so thin simply can't contain it and literally bursts? And is this, in fact, the perfect segue for me to talk about the new Collective Arts beers? And would I do something that transparent and lame? You bet your damn ass I would. Burlington Dave called it. Okay, for the record, their Ransack the Universe IPA will always be an all-time favourite but this is that hazy, glorious New England style, baby, and that's a different birdie altogether.

When I caught up with Beer Bro Glenn at Three Brewers Restaurant in
Oakville last week, I brought him in 12 beers, 10 from Collective Arts
and two Dark & Sticky India Brown Ales from Cameron's Brewing to
show my hometown pride. So the craft guy there was fussing over the
beers I brought in. Meanwhile Glenn had this stash for me in his trunk.

The minute I tried this beer, I couldn't even remember what my favourite of their previous four numbered IPAs was. (I think maybe it was No. 3.) But it doesn't matter. This one was such a step above the others - all of which were very good - that it defies description (though that won't stop me.) Jacked with Simcoe and Citra hops, you get a blast of citrus on the nose, melon and orange on the tongue. This 8.2%, probably 45 IBU nectar of the gods has to become part of their regular line-up! I will actually beg if I have to because there is no actual dignity in this space. Actually, this is kind of a morally-bereft space altogether, come to think of it. Meh. But hey, now it's 100% Spiegelau-Free! (The Devil's Chalice, I say...)

Wait, Nickel Brook's Beer C was the winner of their
Mystery Pack voting? Who saw that coming? Oh, right,
everyone. Well, actually, 34.2% voted for this baby, which
means 65.8% didn't. You bet on the wrong horse. But hey,
that's okay. My horse rocked it and is now called Wicked
Awesome IPA. I always bow to democracy. When I win.

Okay, apparently their Life In The Clouds Hazy IPA was previously released as just Hazy IPA and I somehow missed it. I was probably distracted by a squirrel or something. It happens. With alarming frequency. Okay, since it now has a proper name, that means it must be in the regular line-up which makes me happy. Not quite the same kind of thrill-seeker as IPA No. 5, this is nonetheless a strong entry into the New England IPA (neee-pahhh) marketplace. Simcoe and Mosaic hops in this which means tropical fruit swirling in a hazy jug of tasty-ass. At 6.1% and probably also about 45 IBU, it won't kick you in the arse like the No. 5 but hey, after a couple, I absolutely guarantee you that you will believe you have Buns of Steel. (Disclaimer: Guarantee not valid in Ontario.)

Okay, from the glorious Neee-pahh style I worship, let's move onto a style I am far more dubious of - the Milkshake IPA. Because every brewery needs at least one of these, the Raspberry Milkshake IPA is Collective's entry.

As you can see, my man Drunk Polkaroo uses
his Spiegelau as a tasty snack holder on Movie
Night. I'll give the glass this much credit as it
certainly is versatile. And with all those kids
munching Tide Pods, the company bankrolled
enough cash to have the best Super Bowl ads.

Unless you are Bellwoods Brewing, in which case, you brew 85 different ones which people will happily buy because you're Bellwoods. Okay, back to this raspberry dealio. My problem with milkshake IPAs is that I'm lactose-intolerant. Oh, my body can digest lactose easily. I'm just intolerant of it being in my IPAs. To that end, I will let Beer Bro Glenn describe the 6.3% beer. "The aroma is all raspberry. More tart berries, as well as lemon and a bit of spice following. The habaneros kick in at the finish." Everyone get that, then? That was me letting someone else describe a beer that I can't deal with due to my intolerance issues. An easy out.

So let's get back on track outside the dairy world with Collective Arts Collective Project Black IPA. I snap this seasonal up whenever both it and myself land at their retail counter at the precise same moment. Why? Because I love this beer. The 6.8% bowl of black magic smells like a regular west coast IPA (pine and grapefruit) if you close your eyes but on the tongue, lots of cocoa and licorice. I will always have time for this style. Okay, so while all of these Collective Arts beers are winners in their own way, in a far more realistic and accurate way, that New England Style Double IPA No. 5 smoked them all and is officially the New England IPA to beat for my Best of 2018 list. Good luck with that.

Okay, moving on from beer business to the much more serious business of my upcoming birthday. It's February 14th (jot that down please) so I have taken all of next week off.

Artist David Buist created this image for a T-shirt
for me to wearing in Vegas. I am scrambling to get it
printed as we speak. So in essence, I'll be wearing a
T-Shirt of Drunk Polkaroo wearing a T-Shirt of me
wearing a T-Shirt of actual Polkaroo. Got all that?

As it is a big birthday - I am turning 80 and yes, I know I look good for my age - I'll be jetting down to Las Vegas for the week. But I turned to Twitter for some help with an issue. When I went down for New Year's Eve, I packed my Nickel Brook, Great Lakes and Brock Street Brewing shirts so Ontario craft breweries could represent in Sin City. So I asked who should be represented this trip? Polkaroo was insistent that his beloved Hamilton see the neon lights so I will be picking up a Collective Arts T-Shirt. As Manantler Craft Brewing owner Matt Allott handed me one of their tees, Bowmanville's getting some Vegas love. Of course, my hometown homey's Cameron's Brewing will get a shirt seeing the shiny slots. My man, Brian Wilson, (no, not the crazy one - well, a little maybe), the brewmaster at Highlander Brewing in South River is priority-posting two of their shirts to me - one black and one red for obvious Vegas reasons. That's four breweries but we needed another.

But suddenly, Twitter craft beer lover Clevareno jumped in with a crazy suggestion.

I finally figured out where on the strip this sign is so
this time, it's me, this iconic landmark and many tasty
Nevada IPAs. It's actually just a 10 minute walk away

"You need to make a T-Shirt with Drunk Polkaroo on it. In this picture on your shirt, he should be wearing a shirt with your picture on it. On that picture, you should be wearing a shirt of the real Polkaroo. Make it happen!" So Polkaroo threw the suggestion to our artist buddy, David Buist, who came back 15 minutes later (I'm not kidding) with the above cartoon. I suspect The Dark Arts were involved but hey, who cares? David got shit done fast!

Right now, I have Brittany at Champion Print Studios in Oakville on the case, making this shirt happen by the weekend. That cartoon on a simple black T-Shirt, size large because I'm totally jacked, man. Ripped. Buff. All the buzz-words that people who actually exercise use. Brit got back to me and said the best they could do without losing resolution was a six-inch-by-six-inch image (not sure why as David's original art, which he sent me and I relayed to her, was easily 12-by-12-inch) but it's getting done in two days so it's coming to Vegas. I'll get a proper big-crested one done when I get home. But this insanely-brilliant idea of Clevareno's that David made real in minutes had to make the trip. So it's coming, too. Okay, Scooby Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. I'll be back with those Glenn beers on the weekend but until then, I remain...