Okay, now we come to that point of the "Best of 2020 Show" that featured our hoppy friends. You know the ones I'm talking about. Hawaiian-fresh Pineapple. Luscious mango. Florida-fine orange. But-don't-squeeze-it-in-your-eye grapefruit. Resinous, sticky pine. Some... what? Okay, who TF invited lychee to the Hops Party? Meh, it has its place...
Anyway, in my 2019 version of this Best Of, my opening was the funny or not funny thing that happened that year. The whole Flying Monkeys Sparklepuffs versus SparkleChunks controversy was the big IPA Story of 2019. And man, that was one huge shitshow. I had a run of 39 straight, all perfectly fine, but many others, including my buddy Steve of the Southern Ontario Beer Boys, were not so lucky. In fact, Steve's second one was such a disaster, he ended up being the guy who coined #Sparklechunks!
But that's 2019's controversy, right? Okay, at least it was until I posted some Flying Monkeys' stickers that young Nick gave me for the Red Rocket the other night. Oh my Chunky Monkey, it kickstarted it all over again. It seems the infamous Legend of SparkleChunks may never die in Ontario craft beer circles.
But 2020's controversy makes that one look like finger-painting in Kindergarten. Yes, I am talking about the "heated, wretched and heart-rending" debate over the final order of the beers in the 2020 Nickel Brook India Pale Ale Mystery Pack. Sparkle what now? THIS right here is the serious-ass stuff!! It renders our nation literally on the brink of collapse!
But that's 2019's controversy, right? Okay, at least it was until I posted some Flying Monkeys' stickers that young Nick gave me for the Red Rocket the other night. Oh my Chunky Monkey, it kickstarted it all over again. It seems the infamous Legend of SparkleChunks may never die in Ontario craft beer circles.
But 2020's controversy makes that one look like finger-painting in Kindergarten. Yes, I am talking about the "heated, wretched and heart-rending" debate over the final order of the beers in the 2020 Nickel Brook India Pale Ale Mystery Pack. Sparkle what now? THIS right here is the serious-ass stuff!! It renders our nation literally on the brink of collapse!
Well, okay, perhaps not that drastic. But it seems the Brew Crew has some seriously dysfunctional splitting over which beer actually won the pack. The Mystery Pack simply has four beers labelled Beer A, Beer B, Beer C and Beer D. You drink them all and decide which one to vote for online. Simple enough. Or so you would think. I think Drunk Polkaroo and I were among the first to get our grubby little paws on the Mystery Pack and both of us decreed that Beer B had this one hands down. Not sure what Polk's final order of the beers was but mine was B-A-D-C. I also made special mention of how far behind the others Beer C was, as well as how far ahead of the rest of the pack Beer B was.
But there was disagreement among the Beer Elders. Inexplicably, some of the Brew Crew not only enjoyed Beer C, they actually declared it to be the winner! To me, that just shows the devastating and debilitating effect a pandemic and subsequent quarantine can have on the already fragile human psyche. But to be frank, if Nickel Brook scrapped all four and put Creeper Reaper IPA out year-round, I'd be one happy camper. Just sayin'...
But there was disagreement among the Beer Elders. Inexplicably, some of the Brew Crew not only enjoyed Beer C, they actually declared it to be the winner! To me, that just shows the devastating and debilitating effect a pandemic and subsequent quarantine can have on the already fragile human psyche. But to be frank, if Nickel Brook scrapped all four and put Creeper Reaper IPA out year-round, I'd be one happy camper. Just sayin'...
If you are of sound mind and judgement, this is the final order of the Nickel Brook IPA Mystery Pack. Oh sure, Beer A and Beer D are pretty much interchangeable but clearly Beer B is the winner. |
Oh well, back to the Best of 2020, a year so bad, your dog would have to regurgitate the same bowl of Puppy Chow three separate times before we could describe what a damn Dog's Breakfast that year was. First, The Rules! Because without rules, people might do something as asinine but unlikely as, oh say, storm the Capitol Building. Rule 1) Ontario Beers Only! Three reasons for that: Shop local, shop local and also shop local. They need us now more than ever. Rule 2) No Repeat Winners! So, if say, Headstock IPA has won before (and it has), it can never, ever, ever win again! New beers every year, that's the deal here.
And Rule 3) If this quarantine and pandemic has taught us anything, it's that you don't need fun to have alcohol. Beer is also with us for the shittiest of times! Okay, let's rock this goofy little list!
And Rule 3) If this quarantine and pandemic has taught us anything, it's that you don't need fun to have alcohol. Beer is also with us for the shittiest of times! Okay, let's rock this goofy little list!
Best Pale Ale: When you see the previous winners of this category at the end, you'll notice that east coast haziness crept into the list for the last few years. Back to the west coast this year! Wellington Brewing put out the hugely popular Rising Tide Collaboration Pack (more on that further down) hooking up with Great Lakes Brewing, Muskoka Brewing, Cameron's Brewing and Nickel Brook Brewing. With names like that, how good do you think those beers were? Yeah, pretty much! But my favourite of the bunch was their collab with Great Lakes - the Rising Tide West Coast Pale Ale. Grapefruit, pine back-end, resinous AF, 5.8%, it was incredible. Years fell off our lives and we were back to old school again!
(Previous winners: Beyond The Pale Yummy! North East Pale Ale, Dominion City's Paper Salesman APA, Redline's Clutch APA, Spearhead's Hawaiian Style Pale Ale, Cameron's California Sunshine Pale Ale, Sawdust City's Golden Beach APA, Rainhard's Armed 'N' Citra Pale Ale)
Best British-Style IPA: Way back in 2014, I remember telling my Lake of Bays rep Tim that they needed a West Coast IPA to go along with their 10 Point IPA, which was clearly a British style (though not identified as such.) I was all about the hops back then. I still am to a degree but I find myself appreciating the old school styles, such as super malty IPAs, more and more these day. When the brewery released its Tenth Anniversary Pack in the Summer, 10 Point English IPA was included and I was genuinely happy to revisit the beer that was replaced by the west coast Oxtongue IPA after their 2017 rebranding. (It subsequently disappeared after being replaced by Starboard New England IPA.) Heavy caramel, toasty, biscuity medium body followed by big pine, it's so good.
"Hulk say HazeMama New England IPA so good! Puny humans are just lucky that Hulk doesn't drink ALL HazeMama beer!" |
I'd feel guilty about not enjoying it more the first time around but there are so many things I should feel absolute guilt over and I don't so this will have to wait its place in line. Probably forever or longer. (Previous winners: Stack Brewing Stack '72 Imperial IPA, Market Brewing Bear Hug IPA, Walkerville's Geronimo, Longslice's Hopsta La Vista, Junction Craft's Engineer.)
Best Great Lakes IPA: This time last year, I said 2019 would be the final year that Great Lakes Brewing had their own category. I created it in 2015 because I was afraid that A) With Mike Lackey at the helm, Great Lakes would keep winning Best IPA over and over or B) fantastic Great Lakes IPAs would be pushed aside in the name of fairness even if they deserved to win. Back then, with all their IPAs in rotation through the year, GLB was Ontario's Hop Juggernaut. Then I realized something one day. This was my list and I can make up any dumb-ass rules I want. So I did and gave Great Lakes their own category.
But more importantly, they finally put out a year-round east coast IPA called HazeMama New England IPA. This has all the key ingredients - it has orange, it has peach, it has melon, it was 7%, it has a medium-heavy body and oh yes, a lightly warm boozy slide down the throat-hole. Good gawd, this is a stellar beer. So maybe next year, I'll yank the GLB solo category. (Probably not.) (Previous winners: Electric Circus New England Style Tropical Pale Ale, New England Style Octopus Wants To Fight, Meanwhile Down In Moxie, Thrust! An IPA and Octopus Wants To Fight)
Best West Coast IPA: I suspect this choice might be a little bit curious to some but hear me out. Because this one really impressed me for a few reasons. First of all, who made it.
For decades, Steam Whistle Brewing did "one thing very well." A top-notch Czech-style Pilsner. Eventually, they released a Pale Ale. And as a result... they still only did one thing very well. They followed that with a Session Lager. Yeah, still just that one thing. A couple of whiffs there. However, when they started brewing for New Belgium out of Colorado, they did everything right. Their version of the brewery's Fat Tire Amber Ale, considered to be one of America's best in style, was bang-on to the America version that I've enjoyed in Vegas. For more than a year, their reps teased me that another was coming out of their Etobicoke facility. "Voodoo Ranger IPA?" I always asked hopefully. Maaaybe, they countered. It was and man, was I happy. New Belgium North nailed the hell out of it. Fruit front end, pine back, light malt middle. *Bam!* One of my favourite west coasters of the year. Now if they wanna follow up with the Voodoo Ranger Imperial IPA and Voodoo Ranger Juicy Haze IPA, hey, I'm here for ya!(Previous winners: Cameron's Jurassic IPA, Anderson Craft Ales IPA, Beau's Full Time IPA, Nickel Brook Headstock IPA, Flying Monkey's now discontinued Smashbomb Atomic, Big Rig's Alpha Bomb Unfiltered.)Best New England IPA: Okay, the problem with this category in 2020 is that a crazy amount of breweries released New English (or) Hazy (or) Juicy IPAs. I mean, it was crazy. What can I say? As much as some purists hate the style, it's what's selling and trust me, I'm a happy consumer of it. Supply and demand, baby. I could quite literally pick any one of 15 to 20 and I guarantee you people would nod in agreement. So I went a different route.
The one that meant the most. Okay, Wellington Brewing's Nothing Civil IPA did for a couple of reasons. First of all, coworker Nick The Sour Guy and his father, Mike, were headed out for a Guelph (and area) Brewery Run and Nick, of course, asked me for my list.
The one that meant the most. Okay, Wellington Brewing's Nothing Civil IPA did for a couple of reasons. First of all, coworker Nick The Sour Guy and his father, Mike, were headed out for a Guelph (and area) Brewery Run and Nick, of course, asked me for my list.
I think Nick just saw IPA and that was enough to add it to my list, which was a wise option where I'm concerned. But it's actually much more. A collaboration between Diversity Queen Ren Navarro (@beer_diversity), poet and Welly employee Truth Is... and certified beer sommelier Lexi Pham, the trio known as The Lacuna Collective released this beer for the second time in the fall because the Summer first run at Wellington sold out quickly. All proceeds to Black Lives Matter (as in 100% of every can) at a time when that phrase means more than ever. As a young kid who watched the Civil Rights movement behind Dr Martin Luthor King Jr on TV in the 1960s - the protests, the many marches, his eventual assassination - I would not have thought this would still be an issue 50 years later. Even as a kid in the white suburbs of Oakville, I knew which side was in the right. I knew what hatred was. I knew what what really mattered.
Best Imperial IPA: I was ready to crown this one in 2019 except for a timely reminder from Boston 'LAGAHHH' Adam (now Fergus by way of Guelph). He noted after I had posted it for about the sixth time, praising it through the roof, that very few people had actually tried it. Huh. He wasn't wrong.
That changed dramatically in 2020. When the Evil Plague started shutting down public visits to our many craft breweries, they all stepped up their game ten-fold and got down with mail orders. That meant any of us could get almost any beer we wanted in the entire Province dropped off at our front doors! Talk about a game-changer that the breweries can never change back.
That changed dramatically in 2020. When the Evil Plague started shutting down public visits to our many craft breweries, they all stepped up their game ten-fold and got down with mail orders. That meant any of us could get almost any beer we wanted in the entire Province dropped off at our front doors! Talk about a game-changer that the breweries can never change back.
Also in 2020, Spearhead Brewing's Big Kahuna Imperial IPA started showing up in LCBOs. Even Boston "LAGAHHH" Adam could get it now. I had seen friends describe a light fruitiness, certain essences to this beer. You wanna know what it actually is? Imagine Paul Bunyon ripping a pine tree out of the ground and beating the hell out of you with it. So, yeah, super piney. And, of course, there is some question whether at 10%, this is an Imperial or a Triple IPA. That's for the brewers to decide. I just drink them. And this one was killer! (Previous winners: Barncat Space Juice Double IPA, Left Field Laser Show Vermont Style Imperial IPA, Indie Ale House Cockpuncher, Nickel Brook's Immodest, Innocente Brewing Two Night Stand)
But the one I ended up loving the most was recommended by our Port Sydney friend, Danny Brown. He was the first to try Redline Brewhouse's White Knuckle Triple IPA and based on his description, I ended up ordering eight. Pricey, yes! But given the year brewers were having, what the hell? Throw out a lifeline, I say. And while I enjoyed ALL of the Triple IPAs we were gifted with this year, there was just something about White Knuckle.
When I ordered all that White Knuckle Triple IPA, I also threw some Redline Clutch American Pale Ale into the mix. I'm all about balance. |
It's like my Grandpa Ernie used to say, "If it's good enough for that Danny Brown character, then it's good enough for you!" (Which is odd because he passed 20 years before Danny was born but they're both Scots and that tribe is so competitive.) (Previous winners: Little Beasts' Kraken Triple IPA, Dominion City's Needless Luxury Triple IPA.)
Best Triple Play: This is the part of this little Westminster Kennel Dog Club Show where I look at a string of hoppy beers from the same brewery that follow a style pattern, such as Pale Ale-IPA-Double IPA or IPA-Double IPA-Triple IPA and decide who had the best run of three.
Much to my surprise, given their own super specific marketing, Left Field Brewing, which is all about baseball terminology (I have had to Google countless number of their beer names to get the reference - I'd do much better with hockey) has never won this.
Much to my surprise, given their own super specific marketing, Left Field Brewing, which is all about baseball terminology (I have had to Google countless number of their beer names to get the reference - I'd do much better with hockey) has never won this.
Best Mixed Pack: Okay, there were some really fantastic mixed packs this year - Refined Fool out of Sarnia had a great IPA Mixer as one example - but there was no way anyone was going to beat the Wellington Brewing Rising Tide Collaboration Mix Pack. Let's put it this way. This Mixed Pack out-mix-packed Wellington's other great regularly-released Mix Packs... which are always great mixed packs.
But for the brewery's 35th anniversary, Brewmaster Marvin Dyck pulled out all the stops, enlisting such industry stalwarts as Great Lakes, Muskoka, Cameron's and Nickel Brook in to collaborate with the mixed pack.
But for the brewery's 35th anniversary, Brewmaster Marvin Dyck pulled out all the stops, enlisting such industry stalwarts as Great Lakes, Muskoka, Cameron's and Nickel Brook in to collaborate with the mixed pack.
Okay, that wraps up the hoppy stuff but we have The Dark and Dirty (porters and stouts) up next (hopefully quickly - the return of hockey derailed me), followed by the people, places and things in Ontario craft brewing during that awful year. But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...