When Your Liver Tweets back...

My liver (@yourliver) made it pretty clear to me on
Twitter that it could use a vacation. Oh, I'll give it a
vacation... in Las Vegas! Good luck with that, Liver!

I guess it was only a matter of time before my liver registered a formal complaint, given my Brews-Before-Chews lifestyle. (Beers-Before-Tears? Drinking-Before-Thinking? Ales-Before-Fails? I dunno - pick one.)

But a couple of weeks back, I posted a fairly innocuous Tweet that read simply: "My liver does more work in two days on the weekend than I do all week." (For all of my former teachers who asked plaintively, "Can you not be serious even for one day?", the answer, decades later, is apparently, "No. No, I cannot." as I pat them gently, leaving behind a "Can't Teach For Shit" note on their backs.) Within five minutes, I got a notification from "Your Liver" (@yourliver), which responded, "True. So true. I need a holiday." It posted the picture on the right there. Apparently, my liver (or I suppose, your liver) is a cartoon character that can 'break the third wall' and speak to me through Twitter. This is all starting to make sense to me now. The fact that my liver is a cartoon explains how it continues to function after literally decades of abuse by its owner. I mean, think about it, people. Wile E Coyote used to have Acme bombs and rockets blow up 12 inches from his face and five minutes later, he was perfectly fine, futilely chasing the Roadrunner yet again. My liver is a cartoon and as such, very indestructible. It all makes sense now.

Hellooooo, Betty! Fancy a coffee cup of French Fries?
Well, Betty was on hand, doling them out at Rib Eye
Jack Ale House's Customer Appreciation Night a couple
of weeks back. We ate, we drank, we felt appreciation!

As Who Framed Roger Rabbit taught us, Toons are pretty much impervious to harm. Suffice it to say, I am following @yourliver on Twitter and am happy to report, he or she chews out everyone. I am not alone in its witty and snarky rebukes. It's actually a pretty clever little Twitter organ...

A couple of Thursdays back, my favourite pub, Rib Eye Jack's Ale House held their Customer Appreciation Night whereby tasty snacks and tickets for a couple of free pints were happily doled out to us, the faithful congregation. (You have your church. I have mine. This is a Secular site so we never delve into weighty matters of religion but frankly, I much prefer what I get back after donating cash to the Rib Eye Jack's collection plate, so to speak. Granted, every single religion on Earth, except Buddhism, considers me a heathen so...)

While Beer Store co-workers Gordo, Marie and her fella, Ernie, all joined me, I felt hugely appreciated early on. It seems the dedicated Amsterdam Brewery (Toronto) tap had switched from their lovely-in-the-Summer Blonde Ale to their perfect-for-every-season Boneshaker IPA, certainly a favourite of mine, Beer Musketeer Cat, Marie and, of course, Rib Eye Jack's own Beer Technician Kylie.

Kylie pours a pint from the new "from the ceiling"
taps recently installed in Rib Eye Jack's, courtesy of
our friends at Flying Monkey's Craft Brewery. The
taps carry two Flying Monkeys' beers, one from the
local Nickel Brook and a fourth labelled simply
Rib Eye Jacks' Red, a red ale that is brewed in
Guelph. My guess is it's from Wellington Brewery

One of Kylie's more recent birthdays fell on the bar's Mini-Cask Thursday and her wish (which was, of course, granted) was a keg of the tasty Boneshaker.

Well, of course, we had a blast. This craft beer bar takes excellent care of its regulars and I was thrilled to see some Flying Monkeys' Craft Brewery beers on tap. About a month earlier, I had mentioned to Kylie that I had been talking to my friend Kaitlyn at Flying Monkeys and she had told me that they would dearly love to be on tap at Rib Eye Jacks. But since all taps are dedicated to specific breweries, that would be a tricky bit of business. Except that Flying Monkeys then took matters into their own hands, sending a team in to install a set of four taps, running down to the bar from the ceiling with two taps dedicated to their fine products - in this case, their outstanding Hoptical Illusion Almost Pale Ale and their Netherworld Cascadian Dark Ale. (Believe me when I say, this has nothing to do with me - I suspect this was in the works for quite some time and I just had no idea.) But I am thrilled to see the colourful Flying Monkeys' taps in my favourite haunt. Also, the promise of Hoptical Illusion on tap will help me lure my old City Hall buddy Kevin from nearby Dundas to my Burlington haunt. Win-win. It's tough to lure that dude out of the house. I mean, he built a moat around his mansion for a reason (to keep me out) but for Hoptical Illusion on tap? He can be swayed. Sometimes, you just need the right carrot on the end of the stick.

A better view of the actual taps installed by Flying Monkeys
Craft Brewery in Rib Eye Jack's Ale House which unlike
every other tap, drop down from the ceiling. It's pretty cool.

After drinking our on-tap Rib Eye Jack's Customer Appreciation freebies (lessee, a pint of Boneshaker for me... followed by another Boneshaker), we all chose to grab another pint before departing. I assured my group that I had ordered a "lady-sized" beer as my last. So when she plunked down a 32-ounce (946 ml) Nickel Brook Naughty Neighbour Pale Ale in front of me, I had to qualify, "Oh, when I said 'lady-sized', I meant this lady," pointing to Kylie. (On Thursdays, you can upsize Naughty Neighbour from 20 ounces to 32 ounces for $1. Forgive me for being a bargain-hunter.)

Okay, as always, lots of fun and games here in Burlington but the clock on the wall (which recently went forward an hour in Canada) tells me it's Beer O'Clock here (or it was an hour ago... or an hour from now - I really don't know how that works) at Brew Ha Ha so let's talk brews!

Trafalgar Brewery in Oakville - a brewery that I will frankly tell you has not been among my favourites - worked its way back onto my radar when I purchased one of their Chocolate Orange Porters. It was an after-thought at the liquor store and was very much what I like to call a "WTF Decision." For the record, I believe that Trafalgar is now called Trafalgar Artisan Distillery because they have branched out into liquor. Which is cool - I may snag some vodka or something from them some day but that's more for visitors to Donny's Bar and Grill than me. I'm a total Beer Geek. But this Chocolate Orange Porter tasted a lot like those chocolate oranges you get at Christmas and have to bang on the table- something I pointed out to their big lumberjack-looking bearded guy, Mike, at the counter when I visited the brewery, literally around the corner from my Beer Store.

Okay, this may be one of the better European Red Ales
I have tried. At 7.9%, this has some serious kick to it...

"That's what we were going for," he laughed. It was a little bit thin for a porter but honestly, orange and chocolate on the nose, orange and chocolate on the tongue - as advertised. I have bought three more since. I quite like it. I love it when brewers have fun with porters and stouts and hey, this was fun.

Now as it turns out, Trafalgar Brewing (or Artisan Distillery) also make the mass produced beers for Black Creek Historical Brewery. The reason is simply this, as explained by Lumberjack Mike. "Though they do produce beers at the historical site, they use the 1850s way of making beer. That means they can't make much more than what they can sell on site. We used the 2015 method of making beer so we provide all their beers that are sold at the LCBO." That will be coming up soon - some are really good and some less so - but that's the case with all small craft breweries. I actually have two separate four-packs of their 500-ml beers here where I liked about half and was "meh" or worse on the other half. Life, well, beer life, is all about exploring.

That is totally a rainbow butt monkey on
the Collective Arts' State of Mind session
IPA. Well, the one I got at Rib Eyes anyway

Okay, I had one of the better red ales ever when I visited Gordo's new Beer Store (we traded him for a Loser To Be Named Later - he's my bro so I'm allowed to diss him) and stumbled upon the Bavaria 8.6 Red. It gets bent over the car hood without lube on RateBeer (seriously, it got an 8) but really, I quite enjoyed it. Now, granted, I am a huge red ale fan so my tastes are very different from the average beer connoisseur but the thing is all our tastes are different. I thought this was great. Caramel on the nose, apple on the tongue, I thought it was damn solid. I just happen to be alone in that position. I can live with that. I'm used to being the only one who's right. Or wrong. It doesn't matter in the end. You like what you like, you taste what you taste. I will absolutely buy this again. Sorry, RateBeer... once again, we disagree.

Okay, had a Collective Arts' State of Mind session IPA (4.4%) at Rib Eye Jack's recently and it, too, was solid. Not crazy outstanding (this honour belongs to Great Lakes' Citraddiction Session IPA) but damn good. Orange and grapefruit on the nose, grapefruit on the tongue, this is a really good beer. And everyone in the world, except me, needs a good session IPA. I don't. Highlanders, such as myself, pretty much demand the real deal. But it uses Amarillo and Centennial hops so mango fruit on the nose, pine on the tongue. Again, a solid offering.

At the end of March, this is where you can find me. Or not.

But I have a few bad ones coming up. Yikes, here's the thing. Just because it's craft doesn't mean it's awesome. But this Tuesday, I will be heading to the Purple Heather, Burlington's best Irish bar, for St Paddy's Day. And then on Thursday in the late night, I am heading to Nickel Brook Brewing where Brewer Patrick is going to teach me how beer is brewed... until the wee hours of the morning.

But at the end of March, I am headed to Las Vegas. Not to gamble. Not to see Celine Dion. No, I am heading there for a three-day vacation to drink some new craft beers. Beer Musketeer Stevil St Evil has Googled me all the craft beer highlights on the strip. I have been there five times before (always with girlfriends) but this time, I'm flying Hans Solo. No one else to worry about. Just me and craft beer. Googled every cheap flight and accommodation site I could stumble upon until I found a couple that brought it to about $500 and change, all in. So many American craft beers to drink. And, well, I kinda can't wait!!! I love Vegas. Okay, guys and dolls, that's it, that all and I am outta here!!! Until next time, I remain, as always...