An awesome afternoon at Bellwoods Brewery

The friendly young lady at the front counter of the
retail outlet at Bellwoods happily chatted away to
me about their beers, using the bottle label machine
while I waited for my beer-drinking buddies to show

Okay, I want it on record that this time, I was the first one there. You see, a month or so ago, when I was meeting my beer-sluggin', brewery-invading friend Cat at the new Amsterdam Brewery in Toronto, I got seriously lost. I blame both Mapquest.com for bad directions and my stubborn refusal to buy a GPS for my car. I mean, I was gonna get one last summer but the church up the street put on their sign out front, "Why buy a GPS when Jesus will show you the way for free?" Thus far, despite their stated policy, Best Buy has refused to price-match that. I brought them a picture of the sign and everything...

My lateness caused us to miss the 1 p.m. brewery tour which, in turn, forced us to linger at the free sample bar until the 2 p.m. tour... so even when I fail, we somehow won. Regardless, this time, I was meeting both Cat and my old college buddy Glenn at Bellwoods Brewery in Toronto for an afternoon at their Brewpub and there was no way I was gonna be late. This time I had an edge. I know where Ossington Avenue is, having had several friends who've lived there in the past and when I saw their address, 124 Ossington, I didn't even write it down... I mean one-24?? It's like the brewery was speaking directly to me... in beer words.

Because they're so tiny, Bellwoods doesn't
give brewery tours. So it's basically, "See
those big shiny steel vats? Yeah, that's us
brewing  fresh beer. So what can I get you?"

So even though Glenn was coming in from Oshawa (an equal distance to me... but the other direction) and Cat was coming from the other side of Toronto, I knew I had the best shot to arrive first because, well, again, one-24. (*Amen*) And I did. But they made it too, landing there at exactly the same time. And folks, lemme tell, big celebration weekend. Whereas my birthday was the day before on the 14th, Glenn and my college crony, Stevil St Evil's bday was that very day, the 15th. Now since he lives in New Zealand, we would be toasting him from afar, of course, but the fact is we had a birthday to celebrate... and dammit, we were going to! Cat has never met him but she's a recent Facebook friend of his... meaning she had to rely on our lurid description of the dude. (Only made her like him more.) And ironically, even though we're born a day apart, Steve's something like 16 hours ahead in NZ so we virtually celebrated our birthdays at the same time on opposite ends of the globe, turning the Earth into our own gigantic beer birthday sandwich... hold the mayo. So Steve's birthday was toasted repeatedly... and progressively more loudly at their brewpub.

This humongous chalkboard behind our
server-dude has all the imports at the bar from
craft breweries both near and far. We stuck
mostly to Bellwoods... but veered a few times

Now this was the first time Glenn and Cat had met and I ended up remembering something about him that I had forgotten over time. You see, he and I went to Journalism School at the same time, even once wayyyy back worked at the same paper in a tiny, very smelly pulp-mill town in Northern Ontario early in our J-Days. I can't begin to describe what a pulp-mill town smells like (okay, skunk's ass works) but I think the day I got used to it was the day I decided it was time to leave. Regardless, one of Glenn's best skills as a reporter was his ease with talking to people - strangers and friends alike- asking just the right questions that eventually triggered longer and more involved answers. With Glenn, there's this innate sense of empathy to the guy that just makes people want to tell him their stories. In Cat, he certainly found a willing participant - someone whose stories are fascinating and the afternoon was basically one long, loud, raucous, intimate, often silly get-to-know-each-other session, punctuated by lots of laughs and some serious good beers.

While I recognize the above description sounds very Hallmark Moment, trust me when I say we were parked more firmly by the humourous cards, rather than the touching ones. And that started quickly with out first beers. You see, Glenn had poured through RateBeer and decided beforehand which beers he would have down to the precise order and started with the 6.8% Roman Candle IPA. Cat's choice was preordained: it had to be the 7.3% Catherine Wheel IPA. Mine came after a lengthy chat with the young lady in the retail section where the descriptions were posted - how could I not start with the 9% Witchshark IIPA?

Cheers to our mate Stevil St Evil on his birthday, cheers to
me on the day after mine, cheers to old and new friends
alike and finally, of course, cheers to Bellwoods Brewery!

All I knew from Glenn was that all three scored in the 90s on RateBeer, one very high-90s. One of the advantages of still using a flip-phone is that I can't see RateBeer scores before a purchase and since this blog is about discovery, that works well for me. Plus it only costs like $30/month and no one can ever tell if I've read their texts. (My "Oh, I'm sorry. I never saw it. Crappy flip-phone" is so smooth, I could fool the best police detective. Well, until now...) But back to the beers... our server dude returned with mine and Cat's... but not Glenn's. "Yeah, we don't have the Roman Candle," he noted. "Sorry, we blew the keg..." That statement sent Glenn into Panic Mode as he searched for an alternative. However, at the same time, it sent me and Cat into Snickering Teenagers At The Back Of Sex Education Class Mode, instead. One of us might have even muttered: "I bet there was foam everywhere..."

You want your bell rung? Then try Bellwoods Brewery's
Witchshark IIPA. Buckle up because it's a delicious ride...

I knew before even sampling the others, the Witchshark Imperial IPA had to be the high-90s one - turns out it was 99. Using Columbus, Simcoe, Amarillo and Centennial hops, this bomb-blast of a beer had the fruit and pine aroma with the tangy mango/grapefruit taste. I can't find its IBU (international bitterness units) listed anywhere but it's gotta be pushing 85-90. Liquid dynamite! However, though milder, the Catherine Wheel held its own, using Simcoe, Summit and Cascade hops and Belgian yeast, its nose is conversely floral and pungent at the same time, giving it a less-tangy light citrus and spiced taste. The 7.3% was masked completely, making it deceptive, as well as delicious. None of us could try the Roman Candle until we got home (it was available in the retail shop) but by using Columbus and Citra hops, it's citrus, pine and something really bitterly pungent on the nose while tart, tangerine and grapefruit on the tongue. A damn fine American-style IPA.

The blink-and-you'll-miss-it front of
Bellwoods Brewery on Ossington Ave

From there, we were all over the place - I went for a 10% Hellwoods Russian Imperial Stout, Cat snagged a 8.5% Lost River Baltic Porter while Glenn, who doesn't like the darker offerings of stouts and porters, continued to explore IPAs, going to a guest tap for a 6.5% Great Lakes Brewery Half Nelson IPA.

The Hellwoods was sweet chocolate and cherries on the nose, bitter chocolate and cocoa on the tongue. Thick and warming, it kept me toasty when I slipped out for a smoke. The Lost River Baltic Porter, a gold medalist at the 2012 Canadian Brewing Awards, was all coffee on the nose but sweet chocolate in the taste. Even having a sip immediately after the much-heavier and meatier Hellwoods, it held its weight beautifully. Award winner, indeed.

The Half Nelson IPA is a recent offering from Great Lakes, using the New Zealand Nelson Sauvin hop. Actually, Glenn had to point out their origin - I didn't know. (This boy learns quickly especially when he's on a holy quest! Shut up at the back of the class, it is too holy!! Oh wait, that's probably us...) Citrus on the nose, grapefruit to the tongue - very nice offering! And great to see the brewpub offering up guest taps - I dig that sense of craft brewery comradery...

Retail lady does her best Vanna White while I choose 12
to take home. Lessee, a Grizzly Beer brown ale, couple of
Roman Candle IPA. a couple of Hellwoods stout and...
oh hell, just make the rest Witchshark Imperial IPA...

But we were in for a special treat when Cat went to the guest taps for a sampler of Dieu du Ciel (Montreal brewery) Aphrodisiaque. Holy crap, it knocked us over!! A black ale that incorporates chocolate, vanilla, cocoa, bourbon... well, everything good, let's just say. It was our last offering of the day and we just stared at each other like a couple of slack-jawed yokels. Oh man, it was a show-stopper! An outstanding dessert beer. I just checked RateBeer for this (forgot that night and every subsequent night, apparently) and it scored 100 with another 100 on style points. And a couple of the reviews said that it's even better on tap! Which is precisely how we had it. Some Montreal neighbourhood is getting spoiled rotten.

My first-ever mention of Bellwoods was some time last summer when they came to the rescue of Glenn's local brewery 5 Paddles who had brewed up some batches only to realize they didn't have enough bottles. They called Bellwoods in a panic and even though no one knew anyone else at the other brewery, Bellwoods graciously stepped in with a enough bottles for 5 Paddles to finish up. I thought about that gesture a few times that afternoon. Just like the guest taps, it speaks volumes about the bond Ontario craft brewers share. That's some cool mojo there...

This is Mel's choice for her favourite Bellwoods beverage...

And, of course, when I got home, I immediately PMed the Toronto Craft Beer Queen Mel and told her, "Look, I don't know how close you are to Ossington but..." Yeah, she's close and has been on several occasions. She immediately tossed her favourite into the ring, their Cat Lady IPA, which wasn't available when we went. Looks like a return Summer visit is in order! I am certain both Glenn and Cat will be game.

Okay, shoutouts... Stevil St Evil recently attended the alcohol-fueled rugby insanity know in New Zealand as The Sevens. This year it featured something new... some whining people. So this entry can only be called: Hey Whiners, Pipe Down, We're Trying To Drink Here... And well, well, well, isn't this a cool twist? Cat has resumed her dormant blog and has also written about our Bellwoods excursion. Hers is the sober version... joking, neither of us bothered with that nonsense... You can catch Cat's take on our shenanigans here at: I WROTE MINE FIRST!!! I WIN!!! And well, well, well yet again... here's Glenn's blog on the same adventure which we're gonna called: I'm in love with a witch... or is it a wolf? It's wrong either way...

Okay, folks, that's it, that's all... and I am outta here!!! Until next time, I remain...