The Best of 2019: The Dark and Dirty

Because sometimes good things happen to good people. That
would be OG Brew Crew member Curtis (aka "Newman!")
on the left. The lovely lady on the right goes by Nichole. She
is happily also a member in good-standing with the Brew
Crew. Over the holidays, these two Crewsters got engaged.
Which is pretty much the coolest thing ever. Can we take
any credit for this? Absolutely not! But will we? Absolutely!

Okay, a happy holiday story to start today's look at the darkest, dirtiest, filthiest beers I drank in 2019. (But I say that with the unimaginable love that I have for the richest and swarthiest of brews.)

That said, the story of Curtis and Nichole is of a much more golden hue. Despite the fact we had been Twitter buds for a while, I only first met Curtis during our April Brew Crew expedition to Huntsville to create an IPA with the Lake of Bays Brewing folks. Great guy, salt of the earth, that kind of thing.

Nichole, on the other hand, I only kinda sorta saw but never really met during the Ottawa Craft Brewery Invasion. We formally met at Nickel Brook during Day Two of the Halton-Hamilton Craft Brewery Invasion. I believe her original intent was to hang around for a brewery, maybe two, and then bid adieu. She stayed around much longer. Why? She was having a blast. It truly was a rockin' day so she had no plans to let it pass by quickly, basking in the laughs and the comradery.

But she had come into our lives prior to that. Curtis had taken a really nice "surrounded by nature" picture of a Trestle Brewing (Parry Sound) beer and entered it into their Facebook photo contest. The man has a real talent when it comes to taking the pretty pictures.

So our question has long been this. Is Curtis, in fact, nicer than Tom
Hanks? Ladies and gentlemen, Exhibit A. He found this homeless man
in Huntsville, brought him into the Huntsville Brewhouse, asked Lake of
Bays to feed him and give him some beers. Why? When we asked the
staffers of Lake of Bays, they simply shrugged, "Yeah, the guy looked a
little scruffy but Curtis, well, we couldn't say 'no' to him. I mean, he's
just nicer than... who's really nice... oh, Tom Hanks!" I rest my case.

But Nichole reached out to as many as us as she knew to vote for the picture. I thought that was very sweet so I, in turn, reached out to the Brew Crew, GTA Beer Twitter in general, US and German Beer Twitter and finally, Vegas Twitter. Many responded and voted for the picture.

In the end, Curtis didn't win. He was leading and then someone got an army involved and... it's a whole weird story. But he kinda won. He started following some of the Vegas voters, watching their vlogs and I think Curtis might... really want to go to Vegas. To me, that's a Triple-7 jackpot.

But there's one more story about Nichole I have to tell here. So you see, we're all out on the Halton-Hamilton Craft Brewery Invasion. At this point, we're at Fairweather Brewing in west Hamilton. Everyone's having a great time. I'm standing beside her inside and she's - I kid you not - staring at the wall behind the bar. So I say, "What's up?"

So here's Nichole, sporting a Nickel Brook toque. So I
had my boy, David, put on mine. I then showed him his
picture and Nicole's picture side-by-side and asked him
who looked better. David looked and simply said, "She's
beautiful." So I told Curtis he may have competition for
Nichole's heart. He quickly sealed the deal by proposing.

"I'm wondering what it's like back there," she told me. Meh, I said, concrete floors, bunch of tanks... I mean, every brewery is different but in the back, all pretty much the same to varying degrees of size and capacity. Why? She smiled and said, "Bet it would be a lot of fun to have a wedding reception at a brewery."

Now keep in mind, Curtis had not proposed or anything. This was just an out-loud, offhand "Wouldn't that be kind of a cool thing?" musing. Nickel Brook's shiny newish tap room would be a much better fit, I told her. That's where you'd want a wedding reception. It would rock.

So on New Years Eve, when Curtis messaged me to say they were engaged, I remembered that conversation with Nichole. Now granted, as much fun as it would be to hold a wedding reception at a brewery, the chances are slim to none. As someone who has been twice married, lemme tell you why. Because the families get involved. As well-meaning as the parents and relatives of the bride and groom may be, there is a tendency on their end to take over the day.

And I can guarantee you this. One of them is going to say, "There is NO way we are making Nana Molly and Auntie Theresa sit in a stinky brewery all night! It would kill them!"

Thug's Life: Ottawa Style! Here's the Brew Crew at Waller St Brewing
in Ottawa last Summer. From left, Glenn, Curtis (Him? Again?), Ben,
Joel, Josh, Paul, Matty and Danny. It was here I would find a dark and
delicious beauty that would slay me. Their Black Imperial IPA. Mmmm.

But, Nichole, I will always admire you for simply thinking a brewery reception would be fun. (Because it would!) From all of us in the Brew Crew and beyond, a heart-felt congratulations to you both.

Okay, enough mushy stuff. Onto The Dark and Dirty! You know the rules. #1) No repeat winners. #2) Ontario beers only. And of course #3, my 2007 Ford Focus > Premier Ford. Let's get this party started by remembering the sage wisdom of that ancient Greek philosopher (*checks notes*) Kawhi Leonard who said, "What it do, baby?"

Best Black IPA: Well, I fussed so damn much over this beer on Twitter after Ottawa Matty and Joel bought me one, that there possibly was a Butterfly Effect.

If this were a little more accessible (brewery only)
and available (selective release times), I have little
doubt it would have been my Beer of the Year. Yes,
it is THAT good! The Waller St Black IIPA was an
absolute highlight of my Beer Year. So damn good!!

It only intensified when Paul, the Big Peezy, brought me yet another Waller St Brewing Black Imperial IPA after an Ottawa trip. According to April Thibert, the public face and social media liaison for Waller St, it was her belief that people had seen my comments - the rantings of a beer lunatic, really - and began steadily asking for the swarthy beverage when visiting the brewery. I strongly doubt there's any connection to me. However, when someone compliments or flatters me, such as April did, I become like an old-school vending machine that you're trying to stuff a wrinkly old $1 bill into. I won't accept it. You keep trying. It just gets awkward for everyone.

But I can guarantee this. Most who tried it very likely loved it. I sure did. Still do. Have a couple left. You see, the brewery knew I was visiting them in August and had over a dozen bottles, ready and awaiting my purchase. I more than happily complied. One of the best beers I've enjoyed in my going-on seven years of craft beer consumption. It's chocolate and pine and everything fine in a nifty 8.5% package. Well, hell's bells, I might just have one of these some time today. Let's get 2020 rolling dark-style.

A long-time favourite of Kat's, Lady Polkaroo herself, is this
little beauty of a Porter. No bells, no whistles, just a straight-up
damnly fine-crafted coal black bevey. Just the right stuff here.

(Previous winner: Manantler's Death's Tar: That's No Moon, It's An Imperial Black IPA)

Best Porter: Absolutely my favourite stop of the 905 Halton-Hamilton Craft Beer Invasion was Clifford's Brewing in Hamilton's east end. First of all, the lay-out of the place with its tanks-beside-the-folks strategy. No walls, no windows to peer through. You wanna go hug a vat? Have at it. Secondly, the people, namely owner Brad Clifford and his pops, Barclay. Both finestkind... all the way! Barc's enthusiasm for his son's endeavour is truly inspiring and infectious. And lastly, the product. Yeah, technically, that should come first but this is definitely one of those "the sum of the parts is greater than the whole" dealios. (Yes, I recognize I have that quote back assward but I like it better that way and I'm the one at the keyboard so...) For me, it's tough not to break down this brewery into its key components. But the 'whole' rocks, too.

If ever there was a beer style saved by the emergence of crafts beers in North America, I believe it would be the Porter.

So this one from Bandit Brewing in west Toronto is a
little different. Rather than take a traditional Porter
and add fruits or vanilla, the brewery opted for a
less-traditional course. They brought in the big heat.

Clifford Brewing Porter is a classic that any Brit would be proud to hold high. Licorice, coffee, 5.9% and just plain solid. I would suggest that three golds and two silvers at the Ontario Craft Brewing Awards and Canadian Craft Brewing Awards speaks volumes about this one. (Previous winners: Fairweather's Silky Oat Porter, Forked River's Full City Coffee Porter, Innocente's Charcoal Porter, Highlander's Blacksmith Smoked Porter)

Best Flavoured Porter: A few months back, Brew Crew n'er-do-well Greg messaged me to say he was stopping in at west Toronto's Bandit Brewing and did I want anything? Pulling up their in-retail availability list, I selected a couple of IPAs and a Porter. I'd have to go back in my Twitter posts to remember the names of the IPAs, even though both were very good. The Porter, on the other hand, I can recall all too well. And lemme tell you this free, when I remember a Porter over a couple of top-flight IPAs, well, my friends, that is one very special Porter.

When we did the Halton-Hamilton Craft Brewery Invasion at
the beginning of November, we landed at Collective Arts. Once
there, Drunk Polkaroo urged us strong to get their four-bottle
Origins of Darkness series, each of them being a collaborative
effort with an international brewery. Because Ryan Morrow
is that well-known throughout North America and beyond...

It was called Cake Monster Pastry Porter. Okay, now I know what you're thinking because I was thinking the exact same thing. Pastry Porter. Probably up the vanilla quotient a lot, give it a pastry-like sweet edge to offset the coffee bitterness and add to the chocolate flavour.

Ummm, no. They went a very different route and added habanero. As in the pepper. Now on their website, Bandit told us it added a "subtle kick." You know, a kick in the nuts can be subtle. Still gonna hurt and leave a mark. This one brought the damn heat!

Granted, my extreme-foodie coworker, Trishan, whose family originally hails from Sri Lanka, tells me when it comes to food or beverages, there's real heat and then there's "white folks in the suburbs" heat. I obviously fall into the latter category. Okay, tons of chocolate, 6.5%... and I'm white-boy sorry but hot! And in the end, very, very delicious. (Previous winners: Maclean's Ales' Cherry Porter, Big Rig's Tales From The Pumpkin Patch Porter, Mill St Vanilla Porter - now nitro-charged so give it a fresh try, Nickel Brook's Pissed Off Pete Pumpkin Porter)

I feel like both myself and a number of the Brew Crew
have enjoyed this beer before. Way back in April. Both on
tap and on nitro at the Huntsville Brewhouse. I would say
that Brewer Andrew has replicated the recipe nicely here.

Best Imperial Porter: It happens to me every time I'm about to fly down to Vegas. The night before, I always get very anxious to be there (rather than here) and I have trouble sleeping. Brain churning a mile a minute in anticipation. Thoughts of fun, neon, warmer weather and big American craft beers. That's usually when I turn to some bigger beers with high ABVs to help me settle down and nod off. Fortunately, this past November, I left for Sin City just shortly after our Halton-Hamilton Craft Brewery Invasion. While we were at Collective Arts in Hamilton, Drunk Polkaroo strongly urged us to get the quartet of beers that made up the brewery's Origins of Darkness series. He even suggested the best order to drink the quartet so I dutifully lined them up on the left side of the top shelf. I decided to crack one open and started with the first that he suggested - the Rum Barrel-Aged Baltic Style Porter, a collaboration with Siren Craft Brewing, an outfit out of Berkshire, Great Britain. I'd have to double-check but I'm 99% sure this is the first rum aged beer I've ever had. Plenty of bourbon barrels have played a key role in my darker beers, to be sure, but rum? Not so much.

I think Danny has gifted me to me every time I received one of his
Sudbury Beer Mails and to that, I simply say... keep 'em coming!
Danny really only has access to Stack Brewing up there but
fortunately, they make some dynamite beers. He is well-served.

Now I'm not much of a rum drinker (although the exact same thing could be said of bourbon) so I was a little concerned that the distinct liquor flavour might overpower the beer. Turns out that while the rum melded nicely into the background, this beer was fully powered by the dark fruits used - raisins, dates and prunes. Rich, deep, dark and damn delicious. And yeah, the 9.6% ABV probably did help me nod off. (Previous winner: Collective Arts Imperial Porter)

Best Stout: I think most of the Brew Crew has a sneaking suspicion that we've enjoyed Lake of Bays' Twilight Hour Coffee Stout once before. You see, back in April when we descended upon the Huntsville Brewhouse, they had a beer on tap called Java The Hutt Stout. It was all nitro-ed up and was the only beer that could distract us from the copious amounts of Starboard New England IPA that we were downng. (They actually had to change the Starboard keg when we were there. That was a point of personal pride for us.)

When Brew Crew member Glenn went in to
have his left knee operated on a few days ago,
Hamilton artist-cartoonist David Buist sent
this cartoon to him as a suggestion of other
leg attachments that could be helpful. The
compass is a cheeky nod to Glenn's constant
questioning of where the St Lawrence River
was located while we were in Ottawa (which,
of course, is nowhere near the St Lawrence.)

But every once in a while, someone at my end of the table would mention how fantastic the Java The Hutt was. So, of course, a few beers in, I gave it a shot. They weren't wrong. We asked Brewer Andrew why it wasn't among their regular canned line-up and he simply shrugged. The brewery already had a top-notch stout out there - the Nightwatcher Oatmeal Stout - so he suggested perhaps the higher-ups thought that was enough on the market. He seemed happy enough that it was simply on tap. However, when Lake of Bays released Twilight Hour Coffee Stout in the late Autumn, there was a bunch of us saying, "Wait a minute, could this actually be...?" This is a straight-up, no-nonsense solid stout. Chocolate, coffee and a very reasonable 5.5%. It's become something of a go-to for me as the temperature dips. (Previous winners: Town Brewing's Foreign Extra Stout, Lake of Bays Nightwatcher Oatmeal Stout, Stonehammer's Oatmeal Coffee Stout. Stone City Ales' Ships In The Night Oatmeal Stout.)

Best Flavoured Stout: This category is for the stouts that go a little farther than the traditional chocolate, coffee, oatmeal route and jazz it up with either funky fruits or so much cocoa that it transcends your traditional stout style. Once again, from Sudbury Danny's Beer Mail, another stand-out from Stack Brewing up there. Their Chocolate Cherry Stout is insane (in the membrane.) Aged on French Oak, Stack jacked this up with so much organic cocoa nibs and Montmorency cherries from Michigan that this is practically a 7% Black Forest Cake in a can. Roasty, toasty, chocolate and cherry jammed and even a bit tart. Just stupid good. Once again, Danny, for a guy who has only a small pond to fish from, you always manage to land us all some of the biggest winners. Just keep Stack-ing up your Beer Mails for us!

Beside having one of the cooler labels from 2019, Royal City Brewing
had one of the best Imperial Stouts out last year.  It was dangerous.
It was dirty. Mostly, the Abyss Walker Imperial Stout was delicious.

(Previous winners: Brock St Brewing's Chocolate Milk Stout, Muskoka's Raspbeery Coco Lait)

Best Imperial Stout: Once again from a Beer Mail, this time courtesy of Curtis and Nichole - I believe there might be some brief mention of them at the beginning of this. But this is so damn long that I can no longer remember. So, anyway, prior to the Halton-Hamilton Craft Brewery Invasion, the pair went to various Guelph breweries to grab beers not available to the rest of us. When they went into Royal City Brewing and explained their quest ("We seek the Holy Grail"), according to Curtis, both the staff and customers said one thing. "Get the Abyss Walker Imperial Stout!" As I plucked one out of their trunk (seriously, it would have looked like a drug deal going down to a passing cop), I asked them how it was. Neither knew. They hadn't even tried it themselves, relying totally on word of mouth from the crowd inside the brewery, instead.

So when Sawdust City Brewing looked at the The Blood
Of Cthulhu Imperial Stout, at some point, Brewmaster
Sam wondered, "Hey, I wonder if a bunch of fruit could
make this even better?" Umm, yes, apparently it could.

Well, lemme tell you this for free. They weren't mislead. This was outstanding. I've only had a small handful of Royal City beers, basically whatever has been available in my LCBOs, but this single beer puts them on a whole new plateau. As expected of the style, totally packed with chocolate and coffee, at 9% filled with enough dark warmth that you could hibernate through the Winter with this. And gladly do so. Well done, Royal City. (Previous winners: Wellington's Imperial Russian Stout, Grand River's Russian Gun Imperial Stout, Nickel Brook's Kentucky Bastard, Walkerville's Barrel-Aged Milk Stout, Bellwoods' Hellwoods Imperial Stout)

Best Flavoured Imperial Stout: Yay, the last category. Well, like most Ontario craft Stout lovers, I've had my fair share of Sawdust City Brewing's The Blood of Cthulhu (some kind of mythical squid beast) Imperial Stout. It's pretty much a gimme if you love Imperial Stouts. And this wouldn't be the first time that Brewmaster Sam Corbeil has jacked a traditional Stout of theirs with some fruit.

I will never argue with Calvin because he's
pretty much bang-on here. I think Ontario
craft brewers surprise us daily or weekly by
creating beers that are world-class. The thing
is that we never know until we try them. Like
Calvin says, we discover our destination only
when we arrive and 2019 was great for that. 

Way back in January 2014 at the Steam Whistle Roundhouse Winter Craft Beer Festival, the brewery offered up a raspberry-infused version of their Long Dark Voyage To Uranus Stout. I still remember it because it was both killer and the first time I'd had a seriously fruit-infused stout. Well, Sam has done it again, only this time with their The Blood of Cthulhu Imperial Stout with Cherries, Raspberries and Cranberries. Okay, I'll be frank. I called the OPP for this one. It was so damn good that I was suspicious it was illegal. So anyway, after the OPP instructed me to never call them again under any circumstances, I settled in and enjoyed the hell outta this one. Yeah, sure, chocolate, coffee, 9.5%, the usual suspects. But the fruit? Good golly, Miss Molly, it added so much oomph. Like, I get they're Sawdust City, right? It's always gonna be good. But this good? Just cray cray. (Previous winners: Manantler Brewing-Boshkung Brewing All Shook Up Chocolate Peanut Butter Imperial Milkshake Stout, Highlander Winter Imperial Stout)

Okay, I'll be back very soon (I hope) to wrap up 2019 with the oddities of the year, the Brewery of the Year, the Beer Executive of the Year and, of course, the Beer of the Year! But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...