Happy ending to that last story

The only costumes to come into my Beer Store on Halloween
were my co-workers, Josh Raposo and Julian Vetrone. Josh is
dressed up as Paul Crewe, the Adam Sandler character in The
Longest Yard. (Or if you're my age, Burt Reynolds.) and Julian
is, of course, Chucky, right down to the red shoes. (They were
actually pretty sweet kicks.) But Julian's girlfriend is like a
Hollywood-level make-up artist and up close, those stitches in
his face were phenomenal. Raised surface, everything. Wow!

The last one of these I wrote a few days back was a sad story. It was about a beer rep who used to come into my Beer Store. I called her Side Launch Jen and the story was about how she had suffered abuse at the hands of a male within the industry. (The reason I didn't say "alleged" there was that he was charged with assault and pleaded guilty.)

This was about four or five years ago. Now, frankly, I don't care if it was four or five days, weeks, months, years or decades ago. The ideals of what's right and wrong have not changed one iota in that time frame. Not one bit.

However, I did send her a copy of the column since she was the subject matter and also to offer additional support. She responded the same day, saying, "Geez, you made me cry reading that."

Ladies, before I continue, a quick word of advice. When you tell a man that he made you cry, try to quickly explain why. We guys know there are good tears and there are bad ones. And until we know for certain they're the good ones, we are as nervous as hell that they may be the others. And I mean, really nervous! In fact, a second word of advice, if your partner isn't nervous at all which kind of tears they are, get the hell away from him because he's a controlling sociopath.

Back to the story. So Jen and I, well, I guess you could call us business associates. She worked at Side Launch Brewing (has since moved on) and was their sales rep for my Beer Store. I reiterated how much I had enjoyed our craft beer industry talks back in the days.

The folks at Oakville's Cameron's Brewing, just down the hill from my
house, had some fun on Halloween, dressing up (or down) for the day. In
fact, the brewery had a special on. Show up in a costume and you get
eight cans of their product for just $20. Geez, my beloved 12 Mile India
Pale Lager for $2.50 a can? If I'd known, I would have cleaned them out.

And she responded that "You were surprisingly knowledgeable about the craft beer scene... (pregnant pause for comedic effect) for a Beer Store employee." Oh, bazinga! This is the Jen I remember!!!

However, the story has moved along nicely and I'll let Jen tell the rest.

"But to end all this on a happy note, I got through it. I haven't seen the guy in at least a year in person and... (my pause for drumroll effect) I've got a kick-ass husband who is just the best!"

That, my friends, is, indeed, a happy ending! Jen was (and I'm sure still is) always so sweet and friendly that even though we were just acquaintances through work, I cheered my ass off when she told me. I honest to gawd couldn't be happier for her. 

Hamilton artist-cartoonist David Buist strikes again!! This
time, he drew me as Shaggy (aka Norville Rogers - did you
know that because I certainly didn't) from the Scooby Doo
cartoons, given my penchant for signing this off to readers
as the "Scooby Doo Gang." And he has drawn my beloved
shrimp burrito in my hand and everything. David is great!

Okay, further to that last column, one of my high school buddies seemed to take exception to the fact that I said, since I am old, white and male, "I pretty much look like a spokeman for absolute dickheads." I think he took from that sentence that being old, white and male, which he is as well, automatically has racist and sexist overtones. It, of course, does not. For starters, if you've seen me or even seen a picture of me, all I actually look like is the spokesman for every cover of every 1970s soft rock album ever released. Hell, take a look to the right. Hamilton artist-cartoonist David Buist actually drew me as Shaggy from the Scooby Doo cartoons!! (Great job, by the way, dude!) He's the biggest unspoken-but-still-known stoners in cartoon history! Come on, he's always hungry?? Did you miss that?

But given the political divide in the United States and now also in Canada, I get the sense that there is a perception that issues of sexism are squarely on the right. I disagree. If you look at the successful #MeToo movement over the past year and a bit, I'll acknowledge that, yes, in politics, it's certainly seems to be mostly on the right. But let's not forget, those same rampant-abuse-to-women issues were exposed in Hollywood, which tips decidedly to the left in the political spectrum. Putting political name tags on a contentious issue is a foolhardy game at best. Women being abused don't think to ask their abusers how they voted, nor do they care. They just want safety from sexual, verbal and emotional abuse.

And, women friends, when I call #MeToo successful, I mean simply as a starting point only! You know better than I do how far there still is to go. But I guess I'm saying even decades too late, it has at least finally started.

When Karen and I were scooting over to take this picture,
she whacked me on the arm and said, "Dibs on Elvis!"
That's how I had my first-ever transgender experience as
Lady Liberty. The thing is at her height, she would have
needed a foot-stool to reach Lady Liberty so I suspect
New York New York has deliberately set this up so the
ladies get Elvis and the dudes get the statue. It's all cool.

Now when the President of the United States recently declared that "these are dangerous times for young men in America," you wanna know what I thought? Okay, at first, it was "Whatta maroon." Classic Bugs Bunny. But seriously, I thought, "Good! I hope they're scared. I hope they're very scared... right into behaving properly towards women. Because guess what? Women live scared every goddamn day."

But because Side Launch Jen gave us a happy ending early, let me try as well for the actual ending. When I was in Las Vegas last week, I was in the New York New York Hotel and Casino, just drinking a tasty beverage and chilling. Near me was a young couple on the bench seat of a slot. She looked over and saw the cut-out to the left. She said to her boyfriend, "Let's go get a picture!" To which, he glumly replied, "I don't wanna, Karen." Seriously, the dude sounded like Ross from Friends. So I stood up, walked over and said, "I'll do it, Karen, come on!" Big smile as she stands up and we go over. I handed Mopey my camera and say, "Here, take our picture!" (I wasn't asking.) Then the damnedest thing happened. After taking our picture, he was *gasp* suddenly ready to take part. So I snapped off a few on her iPhone, got a hug from her, handshake from him and off they went. 

Squatters Brewing out of Salt Lake City, Utah, was doing
its part for women during the month of October - Breast
Cancer Awareness Month - as they put out pink cans of
their tasty-ass Hop Rising Double IPA and (never got to
try it) Full Suspension Pale Ale. A nickel from every can
sold went to the cause for the month. Good folks here!

Bet she never had to ask him twice for a picture after that. No one mopes! Not in MY Las Vegas! Also, teach men respect and a sense of give-and-take when they're young.

And while my story is a silly, little story, it does prove one thing. Guys, old and young alike, you do have an influence on other guys, your friends to doing the right thing when it comes to women. If you teach young men to act properly towards women, hopefully, they will do so their entire lives. Women have just started their #MeToo movement. It wouldn't suck if we started one on our side, too, supporting them. To show we're all together on this. Abuse is hatred and hatred is wrong. Call it #WeStandUnited, call it anything. I realize beer played only a small role today... but this is bigger. I hope all those young guys at the Beer Store who think I'm really cool (yeah, I don't get that, either) read this and agree. We especially need the young players onboard. But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Thanks to David Buist, I also have a new sign-off. Later, taters!