What's in a name... and the B-Theme

When I learned that Flying Monkeys was to release
their Juicy Ass IPA next month via Twitter, I posted the
above picture and told them I had only one thing to say.

When it was announced on Twitter last week that Flying Monkeys Brewing would be releasing their 2017 Ontario Brewing Awards gold medal winning Juicy Ass IPA in single cans at the LCBO next month, I was both pumped and confused at the same time.

I mean, at the beginning of April, when I visited the brewery with my son, Beer Bud Hago and Barrie Craft Beer Queen Kaitlyn K, we did the tour of the brewery. The young tour guy pointed to a fermenting vat filled with the delicious beer and lamented that it was only available on tap in craft-heavy bars - Rib Eye Jack's Ale House in Burlington had it for a stretch - or at the brewery itself. And why was that?

"Well, there's no way the LCBO would let us get away with that name," he noted bluntly. Which is a shame because as the medal indicates, it's one of the province's top IPAs. So without being a fly on the LCBO's wall, I think we can safely assume the word "ass" was the problem.

Fast-forward a month and the next thing I see is Flying Monkeys saying on Twitter they expect Juicy Ass in the LCBO by mid-June or so. What the deuce, Lois?

In this Mark Wanzel photo taken for the Barrie
Examiner, Andrea Chiodo is shown hoisting their
best known IPA, Smashbomb Atomic. It too got
into some big LCBO label issues early in its run.
The bomb imagery was deemed to be a bit much.

Well, it seems the LCBO didn't have as big a problem with the name as anyone anticipated. But of course, there was still a label to deal with and this is traditionally where brewers run afoul of the government agency. That said, some have slid past, rife with sexual innuendo and somehow gotten the okay. I tell ya, I used to work for the government and I didn't understand it back then, either. It was like every level of Hell blended into a five-storey building.

Of course, Twitter being Twitter, there was a few suggestive *wink wink nudge nudge* label ideas thrown out there. But when Andrea Chiodo, co-owner of Flying Monkeys with husband Peter and the creative director of the whole brewery (right down to the part where she basically designed their entire bar - and much much more), saw the edgier posts, she hopped on quickly to say, "Guys, no. Just no." 

However, she was quick to add with a touch of humour, "Hey, I struggle against sexist brand marketing (and) then our brewers send out a beer to win awards named Juicy Ass. Seriously?" 

But the thing is that Flying Monkeys has never used sexual imagery in the brewery's many beers, opting instead for colourful, creative and almost psychedelic designs, emblazoned with their motto, "Normal is weird." And it has worked very well for them.

Gravy Boat Captain on Twitter thinks this image
of a baby donkey with "wings" would have been
perfect for Juicy Ass IPA. Can't say that I disagree!

They're an Ontario craft giant, a legend. As big as any independently family-owned brewery can get but still with that intimate small craftie feel. Also the bar at the brewery kicks 10 tons of ass. (Ooops, there's that word. My bad.)

But the Twitter post sparked a lot of chit-chat, notably from Gravy Boat Captain, who went with the obvious "donkey" use of the word "ass" for a potential design, which, frankly, was the first thing I thought of, as well. Hey, good enough for Joseph and Mary, right? (They were the couple in front of me on the donkey ride down into the Grand Canyon. Why? Are there other Joseph's and Mary's?) He went as far to post some pretty cool pics of donkeys, including a baby one with Photoshopped wings - as befits the Flying Monkey name. At that point, even the person who does the Twitter posts for the LCBO chimed in, "A donkey would've been quite hilarious."

But all the back-and-forth on the potential label was enough that Andrea finally just posted it, quite likely in a bid just to shut us up... although it's Twitter and no one shuts up ever. "You'll be disappointed, I fear. It had to pass the LCBO social responsibility," she told us. "But it's sophomoric on a different level." So... no donkey with wings? Well, damn.

Andrea said the only issue the LCBO
had with the label is that the artwork
originally had hands holding a hop
under the "J" where the maple leaf
and red lightning bolt now are. They
felt it was suggestive. Beyond that,
there was no real issue with the name.

So I went to Twitter's private messages to talk to Andrea about the (potentially suggestive) name to see if it had kicked up any fuss, either with female patrons or brewery employees. Turns out that... no, it really hasn't.

"No real issue with the name, except that I try to be careful (as) 50% of craft drinkers are women and we have over 50% women employees at our own brewery," she told me. Looking at some of the other craft breweries who have perhaps crossed a line with their labels, she added that "I do look askance at some of those other brands... in the way they portray women on the labels. But to each, their own. They are nowhere near as offensive as Budweiser and Coors Light TV spots."

But she held up high praise for the watchdogs at the liquor store, noting, "Really, we have zero complaints about the LCBO. I think that's one of the main things I'd like to stress. The beer category folks really went to bat for us (over the name). They know that if a beer has a keg or draft following and had won awards under a particular name, it's shooting a craft brewer in the leg to make them change branding. They have really come a long way."

But of course, as a guy who refers to great beers as "tasty-ass" in this space pretty much all the time, I had to know where "juicy ass" came from so, of course, I asked. As she is both a feminist, as well as someone firmly entrenched in the craft beer culture, Andrea told me it was more innocent than you'd think. Actually, it's just industry lingo.

What would happen with Penny on The Big Band Theory
if they sold Flying Monkeys beer at her restaurant? Oh,
let's assume this. "Go ahead, Howard, ask me about my
Juicy Ass one more time. Seriously, I frikkin' dare you!" 

"The name 'Juicy Ass' is just of the brewers' slang descriptors for hops. Juicy. Juicy ass. Dank. Woody. Fruity. Biting. Yeah, these are all starting to sound dirty. The name is actually pretty gender-neutral - hey, we all have asses - and we consciously kept it that way with the design."

In the end, she admitted the name only caused her one regret. "I didn't really consider the poor servers at bars and restaurants - both males and females - who have to put up with all the jabs and suggestive comments (over the name). I'm sure there are many... who make some kind of rude comment."

But Andrea knows life in the hospitality industry trenches all too well. When she graduated from the University of Alabama, she worked in a Florida restaurant called Nick's Crabhouse. As such, she and the other servers had to wear T-Shirts that said, "I got my crabs from Nick's!" Looking back at it now, she had a good laugh. "The male servers wore the same T-Shirts so apparently, Nick got around!" Nick, you filthy man-ho. So there you go, folks. Straight from Andrea herself is the story behind both the beer's name and the eventual label. Beer News doesn't get any fresher than that.

There are three bottles of Beau's Full Time IPA here and
yet not one has a cap on it. That's because I drained two
of them before I even took this picture. I'm happy they're
in focus but frankly the camera has more to do with that
than I do. I'm just the guy who pushes a button. But this
beer? Holy crap, Beau's hit the right notes with this one!

Well, from Barrie, I meant to go to Baysville, Ontario to discuss Lake of Bays Brewing's new products and rebranding. Seriously, (well, as serious as I get) I had a whole B-Theme going on in my head. But it's a significant step forward for Lake of Bays and I am kinda running out of space here so... sorry, next time for sure with a proper amount of space!!! So let's shift instead to Vankleek Hills, Ontario and look at two newbies from Beau's (B-Theme restored!) All-Natural Brewing's and start with their new Full Time IPA.

Jesus Herbert Christ... (What did you think the "H" stood for? Also, a lightning bolt should be smiting me any second so I best be quick here.) This beer is the... BOMB! (More B-Theme!) Beau's absolutely nailed the west coast IPA style with this one! Every beer reviewer I know has been raving about this beer and rightfully so. Using all-organic hops from America and New Zealand, this 6.7%, 60 IBU (international bitterness units) brew has pine and grapefruit on the nose, tons of tropical fruit on the tongue. Best Beau's Brewed! (B-Theme!)

Are we even legally allowed to say that Beau's All Natural
Brewing might have a better Kolsch than Lug-Tread
Lagered Ale? It's kinda of the yard-stick for all Kolsches
in the province. I'm trending on uncharted turf here...

Beer Writing-Videographer Buddy Drunk Polkaroo went nuts for this. You-Tube Beer Reviewing Bro Hago saw my post on Twitter, said he was trying it that night and got back to me with "This was incredible! As soon as I cracked the bottle and put it to my nose, I knew I would love it! Thank you, Beau's!" Simply put, one of... if not the best single IPAs I've had this year!

Moving along, gang... so what's Beau's really best known for? Yeah, that's right, their Lug Tread Lagered Ale. Many villages still hold ceremonies to sing its praises. Asparagus and other useless vegetables are sacrificed at Pagan alters. Songs are sung. You know, that whole routine. So what would happen if they made an even better Kolsch than Lug Tread? Would universes collide? Would matter meet anti-matter, obliterating us all?

Here's the four Nickel Brook beers that won awards at the
Canadian Brewing Awards last weekend in Ottawa. From
left, we have the Uncommon Element Brent Pale Ale
(gold), Immodest Imperial IPA (gold), Raspberry Uber
(bronze) and Ceres Gose (bronze). Quite the sweet haul
for my homeys, probably the best of any Ontario brewery.
(Okay, okay, I didn't count but who has that kind of time?)

Well, if that's the case... Houston, we have a problem. Because I snagged a Beau's Haters Gonna Hate Imperial Kolsch from the LCBO and all I can say is grab more vegetables for the sacrifice. (Start with kale... then add more kale.)

Turns out this beer was originally a mistake. (That's okay, Beau's, so was my younger brother, aka Bastard Boy. Hey, B-Theme!) When they were brewing their first-ever batch of Lug Tread, it accidentally froze. But the damn thing still won "Best of Show" at the Golden Taps Awards in Toronto that year. So they re-created it now and came up with a 7.1%, nicely (lightly) hopped Imperial Kolsch. Got some light citrus and grassiness on the nose followed by a citrus, maltiness on the tongue. It wasn't quite Full Time IPA level but man, this was pretty good.

But here's the thing. When I posted this on Twitter, I said, "I am contractually obligated by Beau's not to say they have a better Kolsch than Lug Tread. They do. But I can't say that. Tasty!" A solid endorsement, somewhat humourous but nonetheless valid, right?

When renowned caricature artist David Buist redid my
Brew Ha Ha picture, I was pretty flattered. I mean, he's
done Drunk Polkaroo and a small handful of other beer
writers so I'm in esteemed company. When I showed it to
a pretty lady at my high school reunion on the weekend,
she said with a sexy voice, "Ohhhh, he made you look like
Sam Elliot!!" Now I'm thinking I may wanna use this on
Tinder, instead. I mean, the ladies really love Sam Elliot

Beau's response was "Haha. Glad you enjoyed it, Don!" Okay, in my Samsung, I have programmed response words. "Haha" is my generic LOL. Basically, I have no response and I don't really wish to continue. "Hahahahaha!" on the other hand, is "Okay, you actually made me laugh." My endorsement was comedy gold. Next time, Beau's, you owe me a Hahahahaha! Just sayin'... and watching. Carefully. *Winky face* (I don't know how to do those on here.)

Okay, moving along to Burlington (B-Theme Alert!), my homeys at Nickel Brook Brewing did me proud last weekend by picking up four awards at the 2017 Canadian Brewing Awards in Ottawa. They snagged gold for Immodest Imperial IPA (not the first time it's won), gold for American Style Brett Beer with Uncommon Element Brett Pale Ale, bronze for Fruit or Field Beer with Ceres Gose (what the hell is a field beer?) and another bronze with Raspberry Uber Berliner Weisse (Beer Bro Glenn's first ever sour!) While Immodest and the Raspberry Uber were created much earlier by Uber-Brewmaster Ryan (Nickel Brooks and Collective Arts brewmaster - so basically Wile E Coyote super-genius level), the Uncommon Element and Ceres came out of their Funk Lab, courtesy of Head Brewer Patrick, in the past year. So I am genuinely thrilled for him to be snagging first-year hardware. I remember him before he had a brewer's beard. Great stuff. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time (with Lake of Bays, for sure!) I remain...