Sunday 10 April 2016

Meet the "Steamy" new bosses...

That's a whole lotta Steam Whistle Pilsner on this display end cap
at my Beer Store. After I spent tireless minutes setting it up, our
Steam Whistle rep Cecil brought in the sign that goes at the top.
The guys in the pic? That would be Steam Whistle founders Greg
Taylor, Cam Heaps and Greg Cromwell. Not long after the upstart
brewery began in 2000, Cromwell moved Down Under with his
Australian wife and since then, he has founded Top Shed Brewing.
With 20 Ontario craft brewers now sitting at the Beer Store's boardroom table, it was only a matter of time before one of my new bosses came for a visit. In retrospect, I kinda lucked out because it was Steam Whistle Brewing rep Cecil.

Now Cecil is a young, enthusiastic guy, friendly as the day is long, has a bucket-load of pearly white Osmond-family-sized teeth, these sick-ass four-inch dreads and like me, loves to talk about craft beer. So when he came in, I had just finished the end-cap display that Steam Whistle has for the month of April in my store (we have three special end-cap displays that rotate monthly) and it would seem I had done so just in time. Cecil had brought the cardboard sign that snaps into the frame at the top of the display. Since Cecil works for my new bosses at Steam Whistle, I guess that makes him, by extension, my de facto supervisor in this scenario so, you know, you wanna do a good job.

Since the end displays are usually the real estate of the big boys, I was happy one of our craft brewers got their moment in the sun. After Mill Street Brewing's Organic Lager, Steam Whistle (a truly great Czech-style pilsner) is our number two craft seller. Now technically, our corporate policy is that photos are not allowed to be taken in the Beer Store without permission but there are a couple of exceptions. Head office folks and those given permission from head office are allowed to snap shots, as are brewery reps but only photos of their own products, which is what you see here. As with most policies, it's likely a liability thing. I don't ask. I just do what I'm told. Well, when I'm paid to, anyway.
Paul From Shipping pops his big beautiful
bull terrier head out of the passenger
window of Vince's Steam Whistle truck.
Granted, the fact that everyone has a camera in their phone makes this policy a little tough to police these days. But I doubt anyone is too concerned with three 21-year-old girls taking a pre-party selfie in Aisle Two.

So as we always do, Cecil and I talked about the changing landscape of the beer industry in Ontario and he noted that even though the 20 craft brewers only have one vote between them in the corporate boardroom, they were happy to at least be there. (Just as I am happy to have them there... finally.) Having been to a healthy handful of craft beer festivals at Steam Whistle's Roundhouse, all I can say is that if you get a chance to go there, just do it! This group works hard but they play even harder. Always a blast!

Not long after Cecil's visit, our Steam Whistle delivery dude, Vince, landed at our locking dock. I've known Vince for years now and as such, he's one of my favourites. Unlike Cecil's sweet dreads, Vince has long straggly red hair that looks like it was combed with a weed-whacker and when he grew out a bushy red beard last year, I took to calling him Ginger Jesus. "Hey, you're my new boss! What do you want me to do?" I said, greeting him. Vince thought for a second and said, "Can you go Armour-All my tires and then make me a sandwich?" Well, that wasn't going to happen so I offered up something else. "Does Paul From Shipping need a pee break?"
Every year, Steam Whistle puts out a "Steamy
Men of Steam Whistle" calendar with proceeds
going to charity. Here, brewery delivery man
Ben Taylor poses buck naked on a horse while
he chugs back a tasty Steam Whistle Pilsner!

You see, Paul is Vince's bull terrier that does the rounds with him most days. Vince has built a special cushioned platform for him in the cab. "Yeah, sure, he's probably due," said Vince. So I went out to the cab and opened the door for Paul to get out. Of course, it was then I realized that he was about seven feet or more above ground level and would not be jumping. So I reached up well above my head, grabbed him by his barrel chest to bring him down. You know something? Despite being medium-sized dogs, bull terriers weigh a little more than you'd think. With their core density, it's like they're built for Jupiter's gravity. All I could think of was "Please don't squirm" as I was ready to put myself between him and ground if we tumbled. I'd rather hurt myself than a dog. (Cats have nine lives - they're on their own.) Once safely down, Paul did laps in the green space behind my store and yes, stopped to do his duty. He would pause briefly at times in front of me for some pats and lovin' but mostly he was happy to romp in the warm sun on the grass.

But before Paul and Vince left, he went into his cab and passed me the 2016 "Steamy Men of Steam Whistle" calendar. Now this thing is something to see. They put it out every year at $20 a pop with all proceeds going to the Princess Margaret Ride To Conquer Cancer. So good cause. But you gotta see it for yourself. All these guys, some complete with beer guts, pose "seductively" in various states of undress, some right down to their Underoos or even less.
The cover photo for this year's calendar shows this
male model awash in a sea of Steam Whistle tall-boys!
The brewery has a blast with it, doing a little role reversal as the boys show off their, well, sexy sides. Said delivery man Ben Taylor, who's been in the calendar many times, back in 2015, "Being Mr January is awesome. Not only do I get to share the pages of the Steamy Men of Steam Whistle calendar with some of the manliest men in the beer industry, I get to do my part to say 'F**k cancer.' We did this project to raise money for The Ride To Conquer Cancer and to show off some beautiful beer-drinkin' bods. No airbrushing, Photoshop or manscaping, just real men being comfortable in their own bodies."

Now this thing is so clever that I would have happily hung it up in Donny's Bar and Grill. But it didn't make it that far. "I'm taking this!" declared coworker Marie as we all flipped through it. (She even hid it.) Our laughter was punctuated with sporadic pauses of Marie saying, "Okay, he's actually pretty hot!" to some of the boys. So something for everyone - some laughs for the guys with some warm flashes in there for the ladies. Like I said, $20, a really good cause and available at the brewery. Yeah, sure, we're up to April but you can probably still give Mr. January through Mr. March some quality wall time.
Bellwood's Brewing Witchshark Imperial IPA was
everything I remembered it to be while their Wizard
Wolf Pale Ale, a first-timer for me, was damn solid...

Okay, the clock on the wall at Donny's Bar and Grill is telling me it's Beer Time. (I was so eager for Beer Time a few weeks back, that I set my clocks ahead an hour. There was probably another reason I did that, too. I don't remember.) A couple of weekends ago, my co-worker Jay-Dawg and his lovely lady visited Bellwoods Brewery and when he returned, he had a couple of treats for me - their Witchshark Imperial IPA and Wizard Wolf Pale Ale.

Now Witchshark IIPA I know well. Back in 2014 on my birthday, Beer Bro Glenn and I came from opposite directions (Oshawa and Burlington) to descend on the tiny Ossington Avenue brewery. Joining us in absentia was Stevil St Evil also celebrating his birthday in New Zealand as our birthdays are one day apart and he is a day ahead down there. Twas a wonderful afternoon of drinking great beers and at the end, we went into their bottle shop where I created a Mixed-12 pack. It went something like this... "Okay, two Witchshark... and one of those. Two more Witchshark... and one of those." In the end, my Mix-12 probably had nine Witchshark. I'm not sure who I was fooling. Certainly not myself or the lady at the counter. But the Wizard Wolf, not available that day, was a new one for me.
Jay-Dawg is now a little worried that he's
become an "IPA snob" after shrugging off
what was a very solid pale ale. It happens.

Here's where Jay surprised me a little as he noted that the Witchshark was excellent but the Wizard Wolf was merely okay, "nothing special." I knew exactly what was happening but let's look at the beer first. Witchshark continues to be exactly as I remembered it - using Columbus, Simcoe, Amarillo and Centennial hops, the 9% exilir of the gods is powerful fruit on the nose and all mango, grapefruit and pine on the tongue. One of Toronto's best IIPAs. That said, the Wizard Wolf is one damn solid pale ale, as well. At 4.8%, this sessionable pale ale also has that same fruitiness on the nose (though less so) and a lively bit of pine punch on the tongue. If I lived in the Ossington area, I would happily drink this if I wanted to see the entire Blue Jays game. But when the game was over (and we won), then - and only then - would I pile into the Witchsharks. So when I saw Jay at work, I noted that actually the Wizard Wolf was a very strong pale ale. Jay looked at me and said, "Uh oh. I think I've become an IPA Snob." That, in itself, is funny because not only do I remember that feeling but I was also there at Rib Eye Jack's Ale House some months back when Jay first cut his craft beer teeth on pale ales, specifically Nickel Brook's Naughty Neighbour APA.
With a "lovely" April 4th snowfall blanketing my patio
table,  I refused to bend to Mother Nature's harsh will
and enjoyed myself some delicious beers outdoors! Well,
maybe for 10 minutes at a time and then back inside...
But I get that. Once you're hooked on IPAs, they literally become all you want to drink. Now for the sake of this column, I drink and appreciate all styles but my fall-back is always IPAs. Said Jay, "It's like pale ales are the gateway drug," transitioning the drinker from the mainstream to much bigger and better beers.

Looking in my gift bag, I see that Rib Eye Jack's Cask Night regular Stevie-D has slid a few beauties in my direction. After a recent trip to Vermont, he came back bearing gifts for me, Rib Eye Jack's beer technician Kylie and restaurant GM Steve. Letting those two sort out their choices first, I was gifted with a Lawson's Finest Liquids' (Warren, Vermont) Sip of Sunshine IIPA and a Lord Hobo Brewing (Woburn, Massachusetts) Boom Sauce Imperial IPA. Killer score! Now I have had the Lawson's Sip of Sunshine before as Rib Eye Steve gifted me with one last Summer and my opinion on it, much like Witchshark IIPA, has not changed.
A Christmas present from Stevie-D to me
was Great Lakes Brewing's (Cleveland)
Christmas Ale, a nice blend of apple on
the nose and light spices on the tongue.
The 8%, 80-plus IBU (international bitterness units) brew was all mango and grapefruit on the nose and moreso on the tongue where it lingers on like the last guest at the party stalling before his departure. At that time, Rib Eye Steve suggested it was one of the best double-IPAs in Vermont.

The Boom Sauce is a different kettle of fish as Lord Hobo (great name!) blends "three of our New England-style hoppy ales (Blend of Ball and Biscuit, Steal This Can and Consolation Prize) that will wrap you in a carbonated blanket." I quite liked this one. While perhaps a step down from the Sunshine, its three-way mixing is reminiscent of our own Great Lakes Brewing's Swamp Juice. On the nose, it's quite floral and citrusy while on the tongue, some grassy but light bitterness. I was frankly surprised that this was 8% because it drinks much, much smoother than that.

But Stevie-D had another treat for me a couple of weeks prior to his Vermont trip - a Christmas Ale from the folks at Great Lakes Brewing - not our beloved Etobicoke one but rather the GLB out of Cleveland. This 7.5%, 30 IBU ale is selling itself on its spice but I am apparently the one person in existence (and on RateBeer) who caught a dollop of apple in the smell and taste. That said, the spices were there, notably cinnamon and ginger. This is a refreshing, lighter change of pace from all the IPAs I consume. However, when Stevie-D said, "I consider this (Cleveland) Great Lakes to be as good as ours," I was visibly taken aback.
Celebrating snow on April 4th with me were a
couple of Rib Eye Steve's offerings - the Hoppyum
IPA from Foothills Brewing and Westbrook IPA.
Such blasphemy is probably actionable under the Libel and Slander laws of Canada. That said, Stevie-D has had many beers from Cleveland GLB whereas I have had just two so I'll hold off for now. But I have a lawyer on retainer, just in case.

Now Rib Eye Steve always seems to have a couple of great beers set aside for me and I quite appreciate that. I consider him a good friend and a great guy, despite the fact he's incredibly picky about his beers, dresses far too nicely and once killed a man with his bare hands and a dessert spoon "just to watch him die." (Note to Halton Police: That last bit was speculation but the dude's shirts are always freshly-pressed. That warrants at least some questioning on your end. Dexter was like that.) But again, two more winners from Steve's Stash. The edge goes to Foothills Brewing (Winston-Salem, North Carolina) for their Hoppyum IPA, which deftly blends Simcoe, Centennial and Cascade hops with English pale malts for a 6.25% (yup), 78 IBU beer that's citrus on the nose with some orange peel and malt on the tongue. Great beer in the April 4th snow.
What's better than a Great Lakes Brewing's Octopus
Wants To Fight IPA? Well, maybe having seven of them. 
The Westbrook (Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina) IPA was also somewhat good but despite outscoring the Hoppyum on RateBeer 97 to 91, I found this to be a little on the light side for an IPA. (Surprise, surprise - once again I am at odds with RateBeer.) Its commercial description says that "a base of pale, Munich and Carapils malts is just enough to contain the massive hop flavour." Decent, yes. Massive, not even close. At 6.8% and 65 IBUs, it's a good IPA but certainly not massive. Not much of anything on the nose, there's a light fruitiness on the tongue. Again, good but not great.

But herein again is the Jay situation but bigger. When I posted the two beers, Jay looked and said, "The Hoppyum was really good but the Westbrook was awful." Awful is too harsh (though I get how he landed there - it's no 97.) And when I told Steve I thought it was a decent little beer, he shrugged it off and said, "It's an IPA." You see, what Jay suffers from, Steve now has the 2.0 version. IPAs are no longer enough. He is now firmly entrenched in a quest to find only the best Imperial IPAs made by brewers in perfectly-pressed clothing. These two guys will be the death of me.
I look like the late John Denver? No, I don't.

Okay, recognizing this has been an incredibly long read and that most of you haven't made it this far because your parents raised quitters, let me finish this off with a quick story. Back in late February, I was having several after-work beers at Rib Eye Jack's with Jay and my Beer Store daughter, Katie when my Twitter went off. I checked it out and it was a picture of me from behind at the bar. At that precise moment. The ominous message read: "You are being watched!" I spun around quickly (in the movies, that would have been a slow turn with dramatic music for effect) and there was my Twitter buddy, Jay-Mac and his wife, Susan, laughing like a couple of school-kids at the end of the bar. So, of course, I wandered down to say howdy and chat for a bit. At one point, Susan said to me, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like John Denver?" Uhhhh, no. Not once. And hopefully never again. But it's always great to see those two. They do marriage right. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain, as always...

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