Taking the chill out of Winter

"Resistance is futile," warned Seven of Nine in
Star Trek: Voyager. Okay, here's a real quick
question, Seven. Who the hell is resisting you?

"Change is the only constant in life." The man who first spoke those prophetic words was Heraclitus of Ephesus, a Greek philosopher who lived from 535 BC to 475 BC. And if the last 2,500 years have been any indication, good ol' Heraclitus was on the money. Also, please stop laughing at his name and no, I have no idea if that was named after him, though it's most unlikely... as he was a dude.

Think you can stop change? Then let me drop another truth bomb on you. "Resistance is futile!" That was uttered more recently (well, actually in the future) by The Borg, a fictional alien race first introduced in Star Trek: The Next Generation. The Borg were various species that had been turned into cybernetic organisms, functioning as drones in a large joined mind known as the Collective. So basically, they were bad guy sorta robots all linked into one big-ass brain. They were nasty enough antagonists, I suppose, even assimilating Captain Jean Luc Picard at one point, dastardly robot cult that they were. But there were other bad guys far more interesting. It wasn't until Star Trek: Voyager came along and we were introduced to the alluring Seven of Nine that we fan-boys sat up slack-jawed and yelled in unison. "Okay, we're onboard with The Borg! All hail The Borg! Love us some Borgs!"

The Dynamic Duo! Wayne Brown, left, and Scott Robinson are
the co-organizers of ALL of the Burlington Beer Festivals so
far - number four is coming up fast! Asked how they keep their
boyish good looks, the pair simply shrugged and said, "Beer!"

Now what does ancient Greek or future Borg philosophy have to do with the Burlington Beer Festival? (That is, aside from the fact a geek buddy bet me I couldn't work a picture of Seven of Nine into a beer blog? Was it seamless? No. Do I win a six of Mad Tom IPA? I'd better.) Anyway, change has come. It was inevitable. And yes, resistance is futile. Let's start with the upcoming Winter Beer Festival on January 29-30, which has shifted from the Waterfront Hotel at the foot of Brant Street and Lakeshore (right next to Spencer Smith Park, where the Summer Beer Fest is held) to the Burlington Holiday Inn on the South Service Road (off Harvester, just east of Guelph Line.) So there we go - a change of venue. Naturally, I asked co-organizer Wayne Brown why.

"We were at the Waterfront Hotel last Winter (and there were) some very nice people there. But it was just not large enough. The Holiday Inn has quite a bit more space for us." Okay, good point because as nice as the Waterfront is, it was close quarters, indeed. You circled the room within 15 minutes or so and instantly thought, "Oh geez, I just circled the room. Now what?"

The muddy aftermath of the half-hour monsoon on
the Sunday of the 2015 Burlington Beer Festival made
navigating around the puddles impossible afterwards.

Okay, fair warning, the next change is a little more contentious but the 2016 Burlington Summer Best Festival will also be held at the Holiday Inn rather than the lush, green and spacious Spencer Smith Park right beside Lake Ontario. So why would they move a Summer Beer Fest indoors? Well, let's just say Mother Nature can be a bitch. According to Wayne, "The weather seems to always be a problem - too hot, too wet, you name it. The move indoors takes the weather out of play." He added, if the weather cooperates, the hotel has a large outdoor patio that will be open, complete with live music. While I understand there will be opposition to the indoor switch, I had been to the last two Summer Beer Fests so I also understand where he's coming from. In 2014, I went on the Saturday and it pissed down rain all day. Granted, that didn't stop me because, well, rain... who cares? But Saturday is a beer fest's cash cow day and the attending breweries were probably less than thrilled at the far-lower-than-anticipated crowds in the fest's inaugural year. Because of the rain, the walk-in crowd for that day was non-existent. The 2015 Beer Fest faced similar problems. The day-time temperatures of Saturday and Sunday weren't just high - they were like Africa-hot. It was scorching.

I got a thumbs-up from this musician at the
2015 Summer Beer Fest at Spencer Smith
Park. Will the shift to the Holiday Inn also
get a thumbs-up from beer lovers? Time will
only tell. The Fest organizers are hoping so.

While I personally don't follow the credo, "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the Beer Fest," again the walk-in crowds evaporated as people huddled in their homes in front of their air conditioners. The city had actually issued heat alerts for those days, urging residents, particularly seniors, to stay indoors. And let's not forget the half-hour monsoon that hit late in the afternoon on Sunday where it was literally raining sideways. It was like Mother Nature set her Super-Soaker on machine-gun mode.

So as someone who drunkenly bravely faced the elements both years, I get the shift indoors. But not everyone does. When I introduced Wayne to my buddies, Jay, Jonny and Steve at the Rib Eye Jack's Ale House's Beer Fest in October, he told the boys about their Summer plans to shift indoors. He was immediately faced with opposition from my pals. As he always does, Wayne cheerfully stood his ground before ultimately playing the Seven of Nine Card - resistance was futile. (See? I knew I could make that work. Sorta. Doogie, one six of Mad Tom, please.) Personally, I think this shift indoors will work. I tend to view these things (as I do most things in life) as a grand, fun social experiment. I will definitely be there because you gotta be in the game to see how the cards play out. As will my buddies. Besides, it's a local initiative and I adamantly believe we should always support those.

Do we it it better? Well, yeah, this lady looks
pretty honest to me so she must be right. I
mean, it's Burlington, it's beer so nuff said!

Okay, now that we are done navel-gazing over the venue shift, let's talk turkey. There are bigger questions and the biggest, as always, is what breweries will be at the upcoming Winter Beer Fest that's a mere 18 days away? Well, you have to start with the Big Three - Burlington's Nickel Brook and Oakville's Cameron's Brewing and Trafalgar Ales - all of whom will be there. But wait, the addition of Collective Arts, now in Hamilton and also attending, adds a new local player and thus the Big Three have become The Fab Four. The roster is further bolstered by solid industry players, such as Amsterdam (Toronto), Black Oak (Toronto), Cutthroat (Kelowna, BC), Hop City (Brampton), Innocente (Waterloo), Mill Street (Toronto), Muskoka (Bracebridge), Royal City (Guelph), Samuel Adams (Boston), Side Launch (Collingwood), 20 Valley (St Catharines), Walkerville Brewery and Waterloo Brewing.

But you know what I love most about beer fests? It's meeting the breweries I haven't either sampled or sometimes even heard of before. And this one has more than a few for me. Coming along for the ride will be Bell City (Brantford), Elora Brewing, Les 3 Brasseur (Ottawa), Midian (Windsor), Orange Snail (Milton), Outlaw Brew (Southampton) and Whitewater (Forester Falls). Look at all those newcomers (to me, anyway) - that's why I go to beer fests!!!

At the Summer Beer Fest, the good folks from
Muskoka brought a cool hallowed-out, canoe-
shaped cooler to keep their brews icy cold. It was
the most creative cooler by a country mile, guys!

Now because Wayne and his merry gang are an inclusionary bunch because we are Canadians, after all, there will also be wineries (The Dreaming Tree, Inniskillin, Jackson-Triggs, Pelee Island and Vintage Ink), as well as cider houses (Brickworks, now owned by Mill Street Brewing, Hard Ironwood, Shiny and Spirit Tree.) And that's important to have them there because maybe someday, someone will somehow convince me that gluten allergies are an actual thing and not just the latest hipster man-bun affliction du jour. (For my American readers, that translates into "the latest fad" - though certainly not literally.) But I jest... frankly, the more, the merrier! Also, I've observed over my many years that women tend to favour wine so bring it!

And because it's at the Holiday Inn, the food trucks are gone this time. Why? Because the Holiday Inn "ain't got time for that!" Or as it's far more reasonably explained by Wayne, "The Holiday Inn will be handling all the food. They have a great chef and we expect to offer delicious items to everyone." I personally hope to meet a lot of his/her food at this event and good sir/madame (whichever you may be), please remember I am a carnivore so meat is always a plus. Also cheese. I'm big on that.

Will Nickel Brook be at the Burlington Winter
Beer Festival? Of course, they will. They're
one of the Fab Four. And not like Ringo. These
guys are more like John... or Paul... or George.
You know, one of the talented Beatles. Sorry...

Okay, the final word on the Burlington Winter Beer Festival, of course, belongs to Wayne so I'll step off for a second and get myself a beer. And this is where he lays a little truth bomb himself on the importance of volunteers needed to pull this stuff off.

"Volunteers are a huge part of what we do. They are involved in the planning process and are critical during these festivals. They are at the gate, taking and selling tickets. They sell refill tickets and help with the other things, such as collecting garbage and delivering ice to the breweries. Anyone wishing to volunteer can call our office at 905-634-1010. We can always use a few more good people!"

Okay, I'm back. Is Wayne done? He likes to talk even more than me so that's saying something. But I do have to say this about my man, Wayne, co-organizer Scott and the rest of the Burlington Beer Festival squad. Man, they bust their frikkin' humps to make my city look good. When I chatted with Wayne at the Summer Beer Festival, he was already talking to me about the Winter Beer Fest. And on top of that, he's already organizing a Burlington Music and Artfest for July 15-17 in Spencer Smith Park. There will be a small craft beer component to it but it's about, well, music and art. The man - and his team - just does not stop. Ever. Not even for a breath. I don't know if I wish I had that much energy or am glad that I don't. It's uncanny.

Okay, I want to sell this beer festival so I enlisted one of the prettiest
Beer Store daughters I have, Sassy Cassy, to put the magnetic signs on
my car. Now I'm not saying Cassy will be there. But I'm also not saying
she won't be there. Turns out you're gonna have to pay the $23 to know.

Okay, next up, we find out what happens when my co-worker Jay-Dawg tries to make his own delicious Great Lakes Brewing Swamp Juice #19 at home? And what happened when my baby girl, Katie, took her first trip to Rib Eye Jack's Ale House? (Spoiler Alert: she had fun.) How did my Nickel Brook buddy, Tony Cox, alert me that the latest Nickel Brook Headstock IPA coming off the line in Hamilton was bang-on again? After that, we have closer looks at Old Tomorrow Brewing in Toronto and Refined Fool Brewing in Sarnia.

And hey, what's next on deck? Who is that artist behind those awesome Great Lake Brewing labels? Someone hooked me up with him on Twitter! Just ask him and he'll say, "Who's Don?" We're very tight now! My friends all say that, too!

But certainly more on the Burlington Winter Beer Festival because no good deed goes unpunished. And finally to the lady who asked me this: "Do you drink to forget?" The answer is this: No, I drink because craft beer is delicious. It's just a bonus that after a very specific amount of really good craft beer, I forget your dumb-ass question.

Okay, guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. I will be back soon - I'm sorry but in Canada, that's called "Fair warning". So until next time, I remain...