U-S-A! I-P-A! U-S-A! I-P-A!

♫ Our land of liberty... ♫ Happy Birthday, America. You're 239 years old
today and well, you're still looking as hot as ever.  This young lady 
honours the Statue of Liberty by striking the iconic (beer) pose herself!

So anyway... here's a feeling that we Canadians have that the rest of the world will never ever know.

That's the feeling of security and warmth you feel knowing the United States of America is your closest neighbour.

Why? Well, there's a few reasons. You Americans are our biggest trading partner, as we are yours. You love our ready supply of oil. We love you just for you. And your Chicago deep-dish pizza. And most especially your craft beer but we'll get to that in a minute.

Even though we have to break out the passports now to cross each other's borders, we flock to your country. Many Canadians go for the warmth of your southern states. Me? I go for neon-cool, showgirl-haven, beer-fueled fun that is Las Vegas. (And still no word on my sainthood from the Vatican - what's the hold-up, people? Get off the crapper, Pope Francis!)

And finally, we are so closely-tied that your pain is our pain. Not to relive a 14-year-old tragedy but when September 11, 2001 happened, we didn't feel pain for you. We felt pain with you. That day, knowing fully well the risk given what was going on, we opened our airports for you, we opened our borders for you, we opened our homes for you, we opened our hearts for you and we openly wept with you.

Duff Man? Screw him! A true American
man prefers the company of Duff Woman!

You had a safe place to bunk that day named Canada and you always will. It was like an attack on America was an attack on Canada, as well. We feel that close to you. You're our way cool older brother.

Now lest your feel I am getting a little too "USA! USA!" for a Canadian on today, the day of your birth as a nation, allow me to point out, we also love beating your men and women at hockey. It used to be the Russians but now you guys are better than them. It's sibling rivalry at its finest. And we're better... nyah, nyah, nyah... That said, we totally concede at professional football. (Go, Bills!) You win, no contest.

Now frankly, I have always steered clear of American politics because, well, we have our own special political headaches to deal with up here. But as your Presidential race is heating up, I have just one question as an outsider. So... what's the deal with Donald Trump? Is that ferret on the top of his head his running mate or what? If not, well, here's hoping he can find a nice American of Mexican heritage to jump on the Republican presidential ticket with him, should he make it that far. Even up here, I heard word that he's considered a huge friend to that Latino community. I'll even bet Selena Gomez simply can't wait to sing Happy Birthday in much the same way Marilyn Monroe did for John F. Kennedy many decades ago.

With fierce warriors such as Lady Pabst Blue Ribbon on the American
 side, it's easy to understand why this country is seldom challenged.
Who'd be that crazy? That said, this is a pretty cool Cosplay costume

But enough talk about American politics... or foreign policy... or really any of the things that matter. This blog is about beer - really good craft beer - and I'm steering this Viking vessel back to those waters.

And just as I did last year on this day, I will discuss the best America beers I have enjoyed over the past year.

First of all, let's start with my favourite - Stone Brewing's (Escondido, California) Ruination Imperial IPA. Now I have talked about this beer at length in the past, simply because it's my favourite American beer (and I have had many excellent ones!) But the Stone boys threw me for a loop for this year. They discontinued it. That should have sent me into a sobbing, wretched frenzy except for one thing. They replaced it instantly with Ruination 2.0 IIPA. (Is this a brewery... or Apple? Why you gotta play a playah like that?)

Now since my Beer Bro Glenn brought it up to me on one of his not-quite-legal American Border Beer Runs, I'll give you his reaction first.
Glenn: "I just downed my two and it is fantastic! I like it better. More complex citrus and stone fruit action. Apricot! Tangerine! Red grapefruit! Pine!"

Ladies, here's one for you. The Rock under the
Star-Spangled Banner. Actually, it's pretty much
for the guys, too, as everyone loves The Rock...

Folks, I gotta be honest - I couldn't tell the difference. Loved the first one, love this one just as much. And I wouldn't know what a stone fruit is if someone threw one at me and hit me square between the eyes. That said, their upgrade is still my favourite Yankee beer and frankly, it's gonna take a pretty big knight to out-joust it. As Glenn and I are prone to saying, Stone can brew no wrong.

However, one collaborative effort between Lawson's Finest Liquids (Warren, Vermont) and Otter Creek Brewing (Middlebury, Vermont) came damn close to unseating the king. (America, a king is part of the monarchical system of government by which your country used to be ruled until two and a half centuries ago, a bunch of roughnecks from Boston realized, "Wait? Why are we paying taxes to them exactly?" Then the tea hit the harbour and the rest is, quite literally, your history. It took Canada another 100 years to come to the same conclusion.) But back to this beer that came close to slew-footing Ruination IIPA. That would be the Lawson's-Otter Creek Double Dose Imperial IPA. This came to me courtesy of upstairs neighbour and long-time friend, Amy, who, for a weekend late last year, left Burlington, Ontario and landed in Burlington, Vermont, exactly 461 miles (742 kilometres) east of where I am presently sitting. Vermont, look to the left - that's me waving! Zup?

I knew if anyone could take these corrupt soccer bastards on,
it'd be you guys. Like your politics, I keep my nose out of your
foreign policy but guys, well done! Soccer fans applaud you!!

That Double Dose IIPA was mind-numbingly outstanding. At 8.5% and a surprisingly-low 75 IBUs (international bitterness units), it... ♫ came in like a wrecking ball... ♫, trampling my taste-buds into grapefruity submission. Just a fantastic product from the fertile minds of head brewers Sean Lawson and Mike Gerhart. Gentlemen, I salute you today as you salute your flag on this special day

My most recent excursion to Las Vegas at the beginning of April might be best remembered by some as the time Don Slept At McCarran International Airport While His Red-Eye Flight Home To Canada Left Without Him. Which is true. I messed up in glorious style - once again. But if you're gonna be stranded in a city for an extra day, I can scarcely think of a better place than Sin City and the Excalibur hotel. And man, did I have some excellent beers there: Stone IPA, Dogfish Head 60-Minute IPA, Sierra Nevada Hop Hunter IPA, Lagunatis IPA, to name a few...

How will this young lady celebrate Independence Day?
By laying a kiss on a Alltech Lexington Brewing and
Distillery's Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale! At  8.2%,
that beer deserves a kiss on July 4th by a pretty girl.

But when I finally tried the Sierra Nevada Torpedo Extra IPA, countless number of my tastebuds instantly died and went to Hop Heaven. I remember citrus on my nose and orange on my tongue and at that point, I simply packed it in. I wasn't going to do better on this trip than the Torpedo. Just a phenomenal beer.

Now I have one more American beer to talk about and it's one Beer Bro Glenn snagged when Other Beer Bro Stevil St Evil flew in from his Wellington, New Zealand castle, only to crash-land at Donny's Bar & Grill a month ago. I still have some voice recording review for it as I haven't had a chance to talk about it. This beer would be the AleSmith Brewing (San Diego) IPA. Now because I was voice recording this on my phone during a college reunion party, there was some background noise so please bear with me.
Me: "Okay, this seriously pops some grapefruit on the nose..."
Glenn in the background: "What??? I never did that!!!"
Me: "... oh man, some subtle tropical fruit on the tongue. This is a seriously good beer!"
Glenn: "Okay (raucous laughter), that does sound like something I would do..."

Now here's a Halloween tribute for our
neighbours to the south. My favourite
beer technician Kylie from Rib Eye
Jack's Ale House here in Burlington
dressed up as the lady on the label of
Nickel Brook's Naughty Neighbour
American Pale Ale. You're welcome.

What did or didn't Glenn do? I have no idea. It may or may not have involved kissing a moose. Perhaps even a farm animal. But I don't really know for certain. I was too immersed in the excellent AleSmith IPA to follow along with his shenanigans. But great job, brewmaster Peter Zien! As they say in your famous Gotham city, "I'm Batman, you, AleSmith IPA, are The Penguin. We both know how this ends."

But here's some Glenn shenanigans I can talk about and that's the upcoming Burlington Beer Festival at our gorgeous green Spencer Smith Park right on Lake Ontario. That's running in two weeks from July 17 to 19 and lemme tell you, folks, it's gonna be quite the beer rave. Co-organizer Wayne Brown told me yesterday that the 2,500th follower the Fest gets on Twitter will get a $100 gift certificate for Rib Eye Jack's Ale House in Burlington while two other followers will be randomly selected for $25 gift certificates. Schweet! But you have to time it just right - @BurlBeerfest is sitting at 2,437 followers right now. You gotta time it so you're the 63rd person to jump on their Twitter as of *checks watch, looks at calendar, scratches butt* right now! Glenn and I recently upgraded our Sunday tickets to three-day VIP passes instead because frankly, this is the only way we will ever be considered either Very Important or more to the point, a Person. It's $75 for the three-day Liver-hurtin' Brainbuster or $35 for a one-day pass. Check it out at: burlingtonbeerfest.com. Oh and you see young Kylie there, looking all pretty in her red, white and blue? She'll be there but I don't know which day so like me, you better get the three-day pass if you wanna say hey. Finally, as I sign off, I have one question for America. What happened to Bruce Jenner? He looks different somehow. Did he change his hair-style? I don't really follow Kardashian-related things. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! Until next time, I remain...