Mill St Tankhouse Ale: "friend-zoned" far too long

It's totally NOT stalking if I'm holding a
big-ass boom-box on your lawn at 6 a.m.
Oh.. and please forgive the trenchcoat...

Remember all those teen-comedies back in the 1980s where the female/male protagonist had the hots for either the hunky star quarterback or most-popular-girl-in-school even though their best friend of the opposite gender was clearly, to all of us in the audience, the right person for them???

The late producer-director-screenwriter John Hughes was a genius for this sort of script (not to mention non-teen comedies like "Uncle Buck" and "National Lampoon's Vacation") and any number of flicks ("Pretty in Pink", "16 Candles" or "Say Anything") played off this theme: the best friend being the right pick but sacrificing themselves in the Friend-Zone to help the ones they love. Awwww... you stupid misguided self-sacrificing suckers.

Turns out that happens in real life... or at least, my real life of being surrounded by aisles and aisles of beer and getting paid for it 40 hours a week. All this time, there's been a beer in front of me that I friend-zoned, never knowing how right it was... for my tastebuds.

Mill Street Tankhouse Ale: Where have you been all my
life? Oh. Right there in front of me. Hiding in plain sight.
If you weren't so tasty, I'd get a restraining order on you,
you stalker beer.  For gawd's sake, put on a trenchcoat!

Mill Street Brewery has been around since 2002 and is one of Toronto's premier brewpubs/craft brewers. Our store sells five of its products: Stock Ale, Belgian Wit, Organic Lager, Coffee Porter and Tankhouse Ale. In this blog, I recently looked at their Vanilla Porter, which was met with universal acclaim by both myself and my co-workers, Saga and Garth, who do not share my unholy love for hoppy IPA goodness. We also, much to all of our surprise, really enjoyed the Coffee Porter. In fact, it was the Coffee Porter and their Cobblestone Stout (also top-notch) that spring-boarded me towards tons of other new porters and stouts, all of which I have happily quaffed and written about. The Organic Lager outsells the others combined by a four-to-one margin for two reasons. #1) It's a nice light tasty lager and #2) you put the word "Organic" in a name and it clicks a "must-drink" switch in the minds of the countless hipsters, who can smugly say, "My beer's organic, man" before going back and pretending to look for jobs on their laptops when they actually playing Angry Birds because it's somehow "reflective of the socio-political imbalance in modern-day society, dude..." If I understand it correctly, you use a slingshot to shoot birds at pigs. Thus far, I haven't seen a lot of that going on in real life. The fact that birds come with wings actually seems to render the slingshot pointless.

I used to drink the cheap stuff until I became a Beer Geek

However, I had never tried their Tankhouse Ale, which has been sitting there in front of me for nearly a decade. Mostly because until this past June when I started this blog, I only drank lagers and pilseners and my discrimination was set to one criteria: what's the cheapest deal? That has since changed and for the sake of research, my fridge is always stocked hard with tasty craft stuff. Life's too short to drink cheap beer, as a wise man once said. (Which wise man? Well, you just read it here so... probably me.) So I had a Tankhouse Ale earlier in the week and was blown away. At 5.2%, this copper-coloured ale is powered by five different malts and Cascade hops. Though brewed as an American pale ale style, I'd suggest its lightly-spiced aroma suggests a slightly more complex dark ale with a light hop kick. It notched a nifty 93 on RateBeer and is deservedly their highest-ranked brew. It's been said this is actually their Brewmaster Joel Manning's long-time favourite beer and it's easy to see why.

Hey, I'm entitled to have a favourite and this Dark Lager is
mine. I have recommended this to countless customers...

Not long ago, the King Brewery's sales rep stopped into the store and I had a chance to talk to him about their Nobleton brewery. He was clearly proud of their dedication towards creating German-style beers here in Ontario. After writing about German beers a few blogs back, I figured it was clearly time to give their three beers in our store a taste-test as we sell their Vienna Lager, Pilsner and Dark Lager, all of them 4.8%. Their Vienna Lager, brewed under the eye of owner/brewmaster Philip DiFonzo, is a bold amber lager using Vienna malts and shows mainstream brewers how a lager SHOULD be brewed. I was also a big fan of their Pilsner with its Bohemian malts, Saaz hops and Czech yeast. But it was their Dark Lager that absolutely floored me. Using Dark Munich malt and Noble German hops, this is one of the few lagers that will give your tastebuds the same (but different) kind of kick that the hoppiest of IPAs do. It's a little heavy to drink all night but man, I always have some in the fridge here at Donny's Bar and Grill as a special treat after a long day. The King folks are missing my favourite German style of beer but we'll deal with that in my next Christmas Wish-List blog. Not saying what style. They'll have to... uh, wheat, I mean, wait for it.

Though their Summer Small Batch Mix-Pack was decent, they
totally nailed it with their Winter Small-Batch Mix-Pack...

These days, Brick Brewing out of Waterloo is best-known for its discount line of beers - the PC brands (don't worry, that stands for President's Choice, not politically correct - there is nothing politically correct about Canadians and their beers) and of course, their huge-selling Laker line. If Jim Brickman ever buys a yacht and doesn't called it "Laker Bought This", there is no justice. Granted, if I ever owned a yacht, I'd have to call it "Embezzled Money Bought This", drawing unnecessary attention to myself so maybe honesty isn't the best policy in the case of, well, naming yachts. But the brewery decided to create a Summer Small-Batch Brew mix-pack with tall-boy (473ml) cans with Waterloo Classic Pilsner, Waterloo Traditional IPA and Waterloo Jack Pine Belgian Ale. It was a good little mix-pack though I take issue with the IPA being called that - you don't smell hops, you smell hop. One hop. It's like an IPA with training wheels. It's a pale ale at best. But we'll deal with that on the Christmas Wish List.

I love Central City's Red Racer IPA. So how does their Pale
Ale, White Ale and Pilsner fare? They fare pretty damn well

But they definitely got it right with their Winter Small-Batch Brew Mix-Pack, including again, their Classic Pilsner but adding the seasonally-appropriate Waterloo Authentic Amber (6.8%) and Waterloo Union Mills Porter (7%). Why? Winter calls for heavier, higher-alcohol, warm-you-up beers and Brick did precisely that. The Amber uses Hallertou hops from Bavaria and five different malts while the Porter has nice hints of chocolate-roasted malts and both were tasty. For a medium-size brewery, this is a nice surprise, especially their use of high-test brews. Believe me, for a brewery this size, that is rare. Well done!

Let me explain how the hostage situation works in Canada...
It's very polite, eh? No hostages involved cuz we're hosers

Before they stocked out, I had a chance to try Central City's Red Racer Summer Sampler. Their Red Racer IPA is near the top of my list so how do their Pale Ale, White Ale and Pilsner fare? Pretty well, actually. The Pale Ale with its citrusy-melon aroma is nice surprise, making it a lightly-hopped pale ale that stands up well. Much like the Waterloo Amber, the Red Racer version uses a German-style Hallertou hop with German and Canadian malts. Fresh, clean... and a great palate cleanser. And the White Ale, a Belgium Wit-style... well, I knew this would get punished on RateBeer... and it was. That said, white (wheat) beers BELONG in a Summer Sampler and I, for one, thought this was pretty good. The usual hints of orange and coriander, yes, but certainly superior to other Canadian wheats I have had... except Howe Sound's King Heffy Imperial Wheat. No Canadian wheat is going to beat the Heffy. Ever. Hell, it beat out a number of German wheats! Kicked 'em right in the lederhosen.

Note to Rogue Ales: Now THAT'S a Canadian beerd!

To my friends at Rogue Ales in Newport, Oregon: a cautionary tale. Your Dead Guy Ale has been available in my city of Burlington, Ontario, Canada for a while now. Love it. But your Brutal IPA only recently became available. I tried it, I REALLY loved it. So I did what any rational man would do. Using the online product locater, I drove around and bought up every single 650ml bottle of Brutal IPA in Burlington. In essence, I have become the Burlington Cartel For Rogue Brutal IPA. You ever watch Breaking Bad? Yeah, you know what a cartel is. It's like the Mexican ones in Breaking Bad but being Canadian, much more polite. (Sorry about cornering your awesome IPA market, eh? No need for guns... let's watch some hockey, you hoser...) But here's the socio-economical conundrum you face now. On the social level, I have stopped other IPA lovers in Burlington from trying and enjoying your Brutal IPA by stockpiling it. On the economic side, while you were, in fact, a sold-right-out commodity up here (a real plus), demand now far exceeds the supply. Only you, Rogue Ales, can correct the market by sending more Brutal IPA here immediately. That's Burlington, Ontario, Canada. The city has zero Rogue Brutal IPA. Except my stockpile. And that's not gonna last forever. Also, I owe you an apology. I said I'd never try your Beard Beer or Voodoo Doughnut beer. Stevil St Evil, a Canadian ex-pat down there in New Zealand, said the Beard Beer was delicious. And his young Russian friend Alex, also in NZ, loved your Voodoo Doughnut beer and thought it kicked ass. (A little sweet for Stevil's tastes...) And she's, as mentioned, Russian. Not a culture that takes its booze lightly. Next time, I will try it before I critique it.

She's beautiful. She's sweet. Your parents love
her... But she's double-fisting Corona... with lime.
It'll never work, dude. Let her down easy, man...

Okay, next up... Session Beers: what's 5% or less but still tastes good? How is that Sawdust City Brewing's Long, Dark Voyage to Uranus Imperial Stout? Stop giggling! Oh... that was me. And the Lost Coast 8-Ball Stout? How is that? Will Rogue Ales response to my demands of more Brutal IPA? Why did my co-worker lose his shit when he saw a Toronto Maple Leaf logo on a Molson Canadian Aluminum Bottle? I went a whole blog WITHOUT mentioning some kick-ass IPAs... that's not gonna last. Plus a couple IPAs that were kinda... meh.

And shout-outs... as always. Okay, Stevil St Evil is worried, wondering what the hell happened to his brother in his last blog: Check it out here when Stevil wonders: My brother, Dave, used to have balls... where did they go? Meanwhile, my lovely young friend, Karolyn, continues to impress with her blog, Confessional of a Former Fat Girl where she wonders: Can I resist a burger fit for the gods???

And finally. a note of encouragement for my New Zealand friend, Neil. Keep going. Fish rocks. There's a millions of things you can do with seafood. I went three months. Beat my record. Because if you do, I'll do it again... and beat your record! Okay, folks, that's it... that's all... I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...