Spring done sprung for Toronto Beer Fest

My man from Nickel Brook saw a lot of action at the March 29 Toronto
Beer Festival Spring Session. Their line was well-represented, indeed...

The day started with me and co-worker Saga heading into Toronto on the GO Train to crash the Toronto Festival of Beer's Spring Session at the Evergreen Brick Works on March 29. The day ended with me and Saga getting busted by the GO Train "police." I'll be honest - I wasn't even aware such an august body of railway ticket enforcement even existed. Live and learn, eh? Bought tickets on the way. Forgot about tickets on the return ride because of... well, beer. We both got off with a written warning... so we are "in the system" Uh oh... back off, you're reading about a couple of bad-asses here. Plus it was worth it just to see Saga's Oscar-worthy performance as The Guy With Five Layers Of Clothing On And I Know My Ticket's In A Pocket Somewhere. Classic.

Just another day in our lives where top-notch craft beer is involved. Starts innocently enough, ends up with a wee bit of trouble and 18 tons of fun in between the beginning and end. I'd totally blame Saga but who's gonna buy that? At any beer event, I'm basically everyone's "Get Out Of Jail Free" card... Spouses of my buddies say the name "Redmond" with the same vehemence and disdain that Jerry Seinfeld used to say "Newman."

The outstanding Central City Brewing's Red
Racer IPA is coming to the LCBO soon in
473ml cans. Previously it was available in
355ml cans only for $2.55. The price for the
new tallboys? $2.50. Yes, it makes no sense
but it works to my advantage so all good...

The Evergreen Brick Works is an interesting place. It's covered in one huge warehouse spot but not covered in an adjoining structure of equal size where roofing beams are up... but oddly, not attached to anything resembling, well, a roof. The beams are just kinda... there. Being beams. And covered or not, it's all open air so no concerns about the beer getting warm, especially on a day that started chilly and got really cold really fast. It was created in 1889 as a brick factory and was for years. Now it's some sort of conservation or educational property and I'll be damned if that's not true. Learned about a ton of new beers. What can I say? Education comes in many forms.

Normally, at this point, I would name all the brewers there but this was huge... bigger than both the Summer and Winter Craft Beer Festivals at Steam Whistle's Roundhouse. Easily two dozen different brewers, both big and small. As big as Alexander Keiths and Brick Brewing and as small as Highlander Brewing Company out of South River, a tiny cottage community 50 kilometres south of North Bay and a town that I know all too well.

Naturally - poor Saga - our first stop was the Flying Monkeys booth because I suspected they'd have their new Imperial IPA, Shoulders of Giants, on hand and as always, the highly-revered (in this corner) Barrie brewery didn't disappoint me as it was among their 10 beers on hand (top tap numbers at the Spring Fest, followed closely by my home-boys and neighbourhood brewery, Nickel Brook with nine.)

Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery was, as always, one of the
belles of the ball, attracting large crowds that day...

At 10% and 100 IBU (international bitterness units), this IIPA packs the expected whallop with tropical fruit and grapefruit on the nose, fruity, a little caramel and punchy as hell on the tongue. This is, in my opinion, the best IIPA around right now - just dynamite. The server told me that it'd be out in 750ml bottles before the end of April so if you're looking for an IIPA that will Chuck Norris roundhouse kick your tastebuds, keep an eye open. I went back for it three more times.

While IPA-intolerant Saga tried their Italian Job Pale Ale (he gave it the thumbs up although he leans more towards porters and stouts), I switched it up for Round 2 with the Monkeys' Sonic Elegance Belgium Double IPA. At 9.4% and 83 IBU, it is only a step down from Shoulders power-wise but where this was different is that the alcohol was much more noticeable while it was nicely masked in the IIPA. Much maltier than its counterpart, Sonic was resiny and alcohol on the nose and well, very much the same on the tongue. It was solid enough as a one-off but when you're going for high ABV, you might need to mask the alcohol a little better than this. Also I suspect it might have suffered slightly in my estimation as I had it directly after Shoulders, which is a phenomenal beer. (Are you sensing I might be a bit keen to see it in the stores? Well, then, congratulations on your empathy powers because I thought I hid that pretty well.)

Steam Whistle's The Lowest Boardroom, shown
here, won the Battle of the Brewery Bands, edging
out  Beau's Audio, Great Lakes' Die Tenacious Earth
and  Mill  Street's Tennessee Voodoo Coup  

Okay, time to switch it up. There would be more IPAs in my afternoon but you can only worship at the same altar for so long. My hometown boys, Nickel Brook Brewery, have a couple of brews I haven't tried and I sensed the opportunity was rife. Mostly because I had a crap-ton of beer chips burning a hole in my pockets. So test-driving their Maple Porter was long overdue. Oddly, I got coffee on the nose, normal for a porter... but no maple? However, the tongue does not lie. The maple came through in the flavour and I am thrilled to say, it was nicely muted and not at all overpowering. Maple is a dodgy game for beer - you can't go too big or it is incredibly distracting with its sweetness. This was just right. Nice job, homeys... hometownies? Whatever.

The next porter I tried was a surprise in many ways... Highlander Brew Company's Blacksmith Smoked Porter. Surprise #1: "So where are you guys located?" South River, a place I been many times because my buddy, Bill, owns a cottage on the town's Eagle Lake - a cottage that has played the role of victim to many a Boys Weekend. Now granted, our Boys Weekends are filled with prayer circles, hymn singing and scripture reading... so it's all very spiritual. Well, that's what we tell our significant others, anyway. So far, not one has bought it. What can I say about our significant others over the years? They may be with idiots... but they are not idiots themselves. (Okay, okay... Poker, booze, beer, cigars and a lot of trash-talkin'. What did you expect?)

Okay, these young ladies got Flying Monkeys' stickers
that said "Beerologist" on them. On the Flying Monkeys'
sticker I got? "I see drunk people." Somehow appropriate.
I saw a lot of drunk twins, too. Tons of them by the end...

Surprise #2: That's another nice porter. You do get a small sense of smokiness on the nose but mostly some dark fruit. The smokiness does, in fact, present itself on the tongue along with coffee. That's a solid porter and to my buddy Bill, they told me they're right on Eagle Lake... not near it... on it. Side-trip in the boat this summer! Uh oh, beers in the boat... whoa, that's never happened before! (Is anyone buying any of this??? Yeah... didn't think so...)

Okay, back to the IPAs and it was time to visit the Toronto Craft Beer Queen Mel's favourite brewery, Beau's All Natural Brewing, whose Beaver River I.P.Eh? was a cool mix of the milder British IPA-style that also added some American west coast hoppiness. Mostly citrus so we can assume heavy on the Cascade hop. At 5.6% and 52 IBU, this is a session IPA I can get onboard with - floral scent, piney and grapefruit finish. Not overpowering but I need a few IPAs that aren't. This fits the bill nicely.

Well, as you may have noticed, I tend to praise IPAs a lot - no, seriously, I do... ask anyone who's read more than one of these - but well, I kinda ran into one of which I wasn't a huge fan. I had Ottawa's Big Rig Brewery's IPA and well, wasn't all that keen on it. That happens on occasion.

The view from the stage, courtesy of Steam Whistle's
band, The Lowest Boardroom. You can't miss me. I'm in
the back there. Right side. Way back. That's me! Totally.

The fact is at 6.2% and 70 IBU (not entirely low), this doesn't pack the punch I like and tasted - to me, anyway - much more mild than the sessionable Beaver River. I was not a fan at all. Also, it tasted... well, bland. I'm afraid I can't describe it better than that. That said, no one goes home without a door prize. Big Rig also makes a Double Chocolate Milk Stout that Saga sampled. I had a sip. That seemed pretty damn good so I'll watch for it.

Okay, all in all, an awesome afternoon with my bro, Saga (it always is - he is the most amusing court jester I know). We decided it was time to leave when I looked at this huge dude with beer completely down the front of his coat and noted oh-so-cleverly and very loudly, "Dude, your beer has some jacket on it!"

Next time at bat, we have a few. The Brewery Ommegang's Hennipen Saison and Young's Double Chocolate Stout that I have been promising. Also, I'm taking shot #2 at a Black IPA, this time Nickel Brook's Malevolent Black IPA. First time I had a black IPA, I was not bowled over. Thought it was a great porter but not an IPA at all. Let's see how this turns out.

If you see these two men, please do not call the
Police. They are basically harmless. "Basically"
But the GO Train Ticket Police may disagree...

Also I have a German black lager and a few Czech lagers in the fridge all calling my name, not to mention a mixed four-pack of Stone Hammer's best. Also a look of some of the winners of the recent Ontario Brewing Awards. Some surprises... but many well-deserved, as well. Okay, shout-outs... well, Beer Musketeers Stevil St Evil and Cat have been suspiciously silent on the blog circuit as of late. I'm not suggesting foul play... but I've watched a lot of Dexter so well, part of me is worried. If it wasn't for the fact I talk to them every day, I'd be super worried.

Beer Musketeer Glenn, on the other hand, is yappier than a chihuahua. And he has had some, well, interesting (and very entertaining) blogs as of late. He is on vacation with his lad, Jake, in Florida and well, his initial foray was... I dunno what to say about this... other than to call it: Boggy, Muddy Culverts See A Big Resurgence In The Florida Tourist Industry. But gawd bless him, he bounced back the next day, seeing Captain America 2 (in America, no less) with his boy and trying out some excellent IPAs in this offering: Okay, I Scraped The Mud Off...

Well, guys and dolls, what can I tell ya? That's it, that's all and I am outta here!!!! Until next time, I remain...

Stubbies, Miller High Life and Louise Mandrell...

For some reason 30 years ago, we thought this beer
was a big deal. We were college kids - we had an
excuse. Anyone who wasn't? You're on your own

Thirty-plus years ago when I turned legal, Canadian beer came in one bottle and one bottle only - the stubby. Short, wide and brown, it was the bottle used nationally by all Canadian brewers from 1961 when it was introduced and lasted it to the mid-1980s. To those of us who became of legal age in the 70s and 80s, it was the only beer bottle we'd ever known and you got 'em in six-packs, 12-packs and two-fours - that was it. They were the beer bottles our dads used to drink from. Until it was our turn.

Then over a ridiculously-short time-span, stubbies just disappeared from view. Wiped off the horizon. Replaced by bottles of all shapes and sizes in Canada. Why? Oh, there's many theories. Inter-provincial sales which had previously not been allowed were finally okayed. Limits on American and foreign imports were starting to lift. Micro-breweries (the fathers of craft brewers) were just starting to pop up. I call "shenanigans" on all these theories. I was there. I remember. Stubbies in Canada disappeared because of one single beer: Miller High Life. Let me tell you what really happened...

Louise Mandrell. You would have proposed too

In early-1983, Carling O'Keefe Brewery (at the time, Canada's third-largest brewer - long since absorbed by Molsons) acquired the rights to brew Miller High Life, a giant American beer brewed by, well, American giant Miller. In one of the shrewdest marketing moves in Canadian beer history, they bottled it in unique tall-neck bottles (much like the USA version) and virtually swept the youth beer market. Beer Store old-timers remember having to get this beer shipped in by the skid-load and still selling out. Was it better-tasting than other popular Canadian beers? No, not at all, as I recall. But we were young, it came in a super-cool bottle, was 5% (so it got the job done) and well, it looked different than our dads' beer, y'know? Reason enough to switch. But I was there the fateful night the huge Miller High Life launch in Canada all went down. Actually, so too were two of the other Beer Musketeers - Glenn and Stevil St Evil.

Another winner from the Double Trouble
Brewing boys out of Guelph: their punchy
Fire in the Rye Roasted Rye Pale Ale...

At the time, we were all third-year Journalism students at Toronto's Humber College. As third-years, we had to intern at actual publications to get our diploma. I landed at a small community newspaper in west Toronto. Stevil worked at a dairy magazine under the huge Rogers Communications umbrella - something like 25 magazines under one roof. And Glenn did PR for a small but thriving chain of strip clubs. (Not really but I forget where he interned. He's out of the country so I can't ask. And it's not key to the story.) So Miller was having this huge corporate launch followed by the media launch the following night. So through Rogers, Stevil finagled six passes to the media launch for us and six of us tromped down to a swanky convention hall in downtown Toronto for a night of free Miller High Life. Except for one little glitch. Somehow the event people sent him six invites to the swanky corporate night, not the following media night. Obviously, there were problems at the door which we left for Stevil to deal with, as he was the dude who scored the tickets, as well as the group's primo schmoozer and at 6-foot-7, a pretty imposing schmoozer to boot.

Founders, the Grand Rapid, Michigan makers of my
beloved Centennial IPA, have another winner with
their Pale Ale - one lightly-hopped little treat...

And of course he got us in - six scraggly-looking collegiate frat boy types ready to pound down free beer awash in a sea of corporate dark blue and pin-striped black suits. Aside from being the youngest people in the room by far, we couldn't have been more out-of-place unless we walked in wearing brightly-coloured Hawaiian shirts - which two of us actually were. (All these years later, my taste in casual clothing has not even marginally improved. Why would I wear a golf shirt? Is there a golf club in my hand? No, I think not.) But soon, one thing became readily apparent. We weren't trapped in a big room of corporate suits - no, in fact, they were trapped in there with us. That we stood out first became apparent when singer Louise Mandrell hit the stage. She was the middle sister of the popular country music Mandrell Sisters trio whose variety show was televised at the time on a large American TV network. So when it came time to call someone on stage, which clean-cut worthy corporate suit got the nod? Uhhh, that would be me. 

With a  punchy floral bouquet, I prefer
Liberty Ale over their Anchor Steam...

I bounded up on stage. "Well, don't you look like a fun-loving young fella," the stunningly attractive Mandrell purred in a light southern drawl. "Anything you wanna say while you're up here?" I hesitated for a nano-second before answering, "Sure. Will you marry me?" That brought down the house - score one for the frat boys. Laughing, she gamely responded, "Oh honey, I've had a lot of husbands." I simply replied, "That's okay, I've got lots of rings." More laughs. That earned me a hug, a kiss on the cheek and a whispered, "You are so cute..." Floating on Cloud 9 back down from the stage, the corporate cats couldn't high-five me enough. The frat boys earned their free beer that swanky corporate night. And apparently, in a wee bit of a free beer stupor, we also thought we earned a six-foot-high cut-out of a Miller High Life bottle, hard-mounted on a four-wheeled dolly. Because out the front door, Stevil brazenly marched out with it, into the Toronto night... and onto the Toronto subway, which, in itself, was a sight to see. Regardless, that night sounded the death-knell for the stubby in Canada. In an effort to compete with Miller High Life, the other brewers simply pitched the compact bottle into the bin and came out with fancier ones themselves - long-necks, painted labels, the whole nine yards. And the stubby passed soon after. If you would, a moment of silence for the stu... yeah, long enough, let's talk beer. Mostly ales and pale ales.

The Amsterdam Autumn Hop Harvest Ale is
one that will always have a place in my fridge

Okay, I've been promising a handful of reviews for the past few blogs and let's have at it, shall we? Okay, first up we have the third offering from the boys at Double Trouble Brewing who contract-brew out of Wellington County Brewery in Guelph. Their first two outings - Break-Out Pilsner and Hops and Robbers IPA - were both solid, especially the sessionable IPA. But their latest, Fire in the Rye Roasted Rye Pale Ale? Shazam, we have a winner. Clocking in at 6.1% and 60 IBU (international bitterness units), this packs a nice little jolt. Pine and light hops on the nose, peppery rye and fruity on the tongue, it isn't quite in the lofty Cameron's Rye Pale Ale stratosphere but really, it's pretty damn close. The first of several keepers coming up today.

Let's travel to Grand Rapids, Michigan and see what the boys at Founders Brewery, home to my beloved Centennial IPA, have for us today - ahh, their Pale Ale. A far less hopped pale than the ones I usually favour, this 5.4% and 35 IBU ale uses the steadfast Cascade hop for its citrusy, flowery scent and is a nicely-balanced moderate American Pale Ale on the tongue. The latitude for hoppiness and ABV in pale ales is exceptionally wide and this is on the low-medium end. However, for that very reason, this would be an outstanding day-on-the-patio beer and since Donny's Bar and Grill has a patio, it will be happily returning... when the sun does.

Brewed by Nickel Brook brewmaster Ryan Morrow,  Rhyme
& Reason pale ale is both delicious and artistically-minded

Okay, it just dawned on me as I re-read that last paragraph that while I refer to IBUs constantly, I have never mentioned ABVs, which means simply "alcohol by volume". I always just say, oh, 7% and assume you know what that means. Okay, here's why it's called ABV. The higher the ABV, the louder you will be while drinking that beer. Alcohol by volume. True story. Ask anyone. Anyone sitting within earshot of me in a bar, that is...

Had an Anchor Brewing (San Francisco) Anchor Steam lager a while back and liked it just fine but it was the Liberty Ale that I was more eager to try. Turns out that was with good reason.

I'm with Newcastle. Who the hell
uses the word "chalice"? I have
two of those Stella glasses and I
call them "goblets". Why? Less
European and more Harry Potter!

Also incorporating Cascade hops, this 5.9% brew has that punchy floral bouquet and a nice citrus bitter-sweet finish. To my tastes, much preferable over the Steam Anchor although I will take ales over lagers on all days that end with "y". That said, I would recommend the Steam Anchor as a huge step-up to mainstream lager drinkers.

Another pale ale that I had enjoyed was Amsterdam's Autumn Hop Ale, having picked one up when Beer Musketeer Cat and I toured the Amsterdam brewery a few months back. Using a "wet hop" technique, whereby freshly-picked hops are added to the mix, the 5.6%, 60 IBU has that pine and grapefruit nose I love in an IPA and some citrus, medium-bitterness on the tongue. The sole problem? I was drinking it at the same time as the brewery's super-kick-ass ultra-hoppy Fracture IIPA so Autumn Hop came off as a weaker, younger sister. Lesson learned: separate your beers. I will do that this summer at the Donny's Bar and Grill patio with this single sold at LCBOs everywhere. It's a great beer... that I drank with the wrong companion beers.

And finally Collective Art's Rhyme & Reason Extra Pale Ale, a beer that has sparked an ongoing debate between Beer Musketeer Glenn and myself. He maintains that Rhyme & Reason should be my favourite pale ale since my current favourite, Spearhead Hawaiian Style Pale Ale, is 6%, 60 IBU and would be better classified as an IPA, rather than a pale ale. I counter that Rhyme & Reason is 5.7% and 55 IBU so, well, we're kind of splitting hairs here. The marks on RateBeer are virtually identical with Rhyme notching 96 and Hawaiian collecting 95. However, where he may be a little right is that Rhyme & Reason has the edge on style points (98 vs 93), meaning, yes, Rhyme is a truer pale ale.

That's just animal cruelty... expecting a dog
to drink a disgusting  Corona. The glasses
and hat are fine, kinda cute even but Corona?

That said, Nickel Brook brewmaster Ryan Morrow had a real challenge on his hands - make a pale ale for contract brewer Collective Arts that is markedly different than Nickel Brook's own outstanding Naughty Neighbour American Pale Ale. Saying he succeeded is an understatement. He power-blasted this, using Citra, Centennial, Chinook and Simcoe hops - hmmm, sounding very IPA-ish to me, Glenn - giving it a pine and grapefruit nose with some bitter-sweet citrus, tropical fruit on the tongue. It is outstanding so nice job, Ryan. 

That said, the biggest reason I like Spearhead Hawaiian Style Pale Ale the most? Simple, I don't like pineapple... at all. You will never see me eat pineapple, especially on pizza. And yet I love it in this beer. It's funny - there are laws against violence, stalking, bad/drunk driving and even jay-walking. But not one single law against putting fruit on pizza??? It's like society itself is ignoring the obvious.

Okay, I had also promised to review Brewery Ommegang's Hennipen Saison and Young's Double Chocolate Stout in this blog but, well, they don't really fit today's theme and this is long enough. In a couple of days, I will be writing about that Toronto's Beer Festival's Spring Fest that co-worker Saga and I attended last weekend at the Brick Works in Toronto. So until then, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! Until then, I remain...

My local craftie, Nickel Brook, ready for giant step

Nickel Brook co-founder John Romano is currently in negotiations to
acquire the old Lakeport Brewing plant in Hamilton in a joint venture with
Collective Arts Brewery, who brew their Rhyme & Reason at Nickel Brook

When your son turns a year older, as mine did today, well then, it's high time for a special Father-Son excursion, isn't it? Granted, we had to go grocery shopping anyway but just down the street was my first destination - my local Burlington craft brewers, Nickel Brook Brewery.

It was a bit of an emergency, actually. My two growlers were empty - not a drop of my beloved Headtsock IPA in either one. Because I, you know, drank them. So I said to David, "Wanna visit Daddy's special beer place?" (Look, I don't give a damn what qualifies as an emergency at your place  - fires, floods, Bubonic Plague, the flu, whatever... at Donny's Bar and Grill, it's empty Nickel Brook growlers...)

The Nickel Brook Brewery, a.k.a. Better Bitters
Brewing: it's small and cozy. Just like my small
and cozy apartment, it's filled with tasty beer...

Turns out David was more than game... eager, even. So off we went. Once there, I spotted Tony, my favourite brewery dude who has served me so often and knows my tastes so well, that he often steers me to new finds, like their brand-new Belgian Pale Ale. But first, David did his obligatory introductions, as he always does, pro-offering his hand for a firm shake as I have taught him to do and saying, "I'm David Redmond and this is my father, Don." (That part he came up with.) Tony wryly smiled and noted, "Yes, I know your Dad... but it's very nice to meet you!" I sampled the Belgian Pale Ale, loved it and was set to get a growler of it... when the keg kacked. No surprise, Tony noted, they had sold a lot of it in the past week. Given the average 50-litre keg holds seven and a half cases of beer and a growler is roughly a six-pack, about 30 growler fills will kill a keg.

But because he knew it was David's birthday, Tony went out of his way to give us the nickle tour... or Nickle Brook tour, I suppose. David loved the shiny equipment - the bottling equipment alone cost a quarter million dollars which is why brewery owner, John Romano, refers to it as his "Ferrari."

Hey now, beer geeks, that's A LOT bigger than cozy, isn't it?

I was more captivated by the huge storage of wooden barrels, many of which are bourbon barrels used to create their outstanding Old Kentucky Bastard Imperial Stout. But when we went back out of the retail store, David immediately walked over to their awards area in the corner and exclaimed, "Wow! What's this?" Tony explained to him that they had won many awards over the years, including what he was filling my growlers with: the Headstock IPA, which, at the Great American Beer Festival a few years back, snagged a gold medal. (I think it was that fest - it was a big American competition, that much I know.) Not surprised. It's been one of my favourites since I discovered IPAs late last summer.

Collective Arts Pale Ale, which is outstanding, is brewed
out of Nickel Brook. Now as it turns out, they will be a key
stakeholder if Nickel Brook scores the old Lakeport Brewery

So anyway, a great father-son excursion. It was his birthday, I took him to a craft brewery, I got a Belgium Pale Ale sampler and two filled growlers, we got a tour... what could be cooler than that? That sound you just heard - David's Mom reading this, sighing and rolling her eyes... That other sound you just heard, the other three Craft Beer Musketeers, Glenn, Cat and Stevil St Evil, clamouring, "Father of the Year!" David declared Nickel Brook to be "really cool." Like his Dad, he's easily distracted by shiny stuff...

But moving on from my dubious parenting skills... According to a newspaper article just last week, it would seem that our main man Romano is looking to buy the old Lakeport Brewery in Hamilton. Once upon a time, it was the Amstel (Canada) brewery and then newcomer Lakeport took it over and became huge for their buck-a-beer policy and line of beers. At the time, Better Bitter Brewing was a brew-your-own wine and beer place. Lakeport's buck-a-beer policy really walloped the brew-your-own-beer industry, including Better Bitters Brewing. But knowing he was creating some damn fine beers in his brew-your-own, John didn't curse the gods. He simply started Nickel Brook Brewery up, instead.

Ryan Morrow is the brewmaster behind both Nickel Brook
beers and the Collective Arts's delicious Rhyme & Reason

So what goes around comes out, right? At the moment, Nickel Brook is brewed out of a (roughly) 13,000-square-foot facility. They're at capacity... plus. Romano told the newspaper it was almost pointless to send sale-people on calls. They can't brew beer more quickly at this point. The old Lakeport plant, a nifty 50,000-square-foot facility, would certainly ease their space constraints. When Labatt's bought it a few years back, they shut it down and simply took over the Lakeport line. Now the plant is some kind of manufacturing or construction holding facility. If John gets his way, that may soon change. And in a way that makes Brew-Ha-Ha very happy because it'll be a brewery again! (Little known fact: Nickel Brook is named after John's two kids, Nicholas and Brooke and that is pretty damn cool. See, David's Mom, craft breweries and children are a natural pairing!)

Matt Johnson, who's been in the brewing game for a dozen
years, is a busy man after founding Collective Arts Brewing.

So John is in negotiations with the Hamilton Port Authority, who went on record to say they would love the old Lakeport plant to be a brewery again, to secure the land. Maybe he will, maybe he won't... but man, my fingers are crossed for a reason. City Hall, especially in Ontario regardless of constituency, is a tough task-master. Did you finish those first 87 forms? Great! Here's 2,087 more! Just fill those out... and then just another 3,547 to go!

However, John is so serious about needing more space that he has already bought brewing equipment from a defunct brewer out east and is storing it in an Ontario barn. Regardless, he's not flying solo on this venture. The Collective Arts people, a Toronto grass-roots brewery comprised of 85 Toronto artists, writers, musicians and film-makers who brew their outstanding Rhyme & Reason Pale Ale out of the Nickel Brook facility, are in on the action as partners, including Matt Johnson, who is co-founder of Collective Arts Brewing. Rhyme & Reason versus Spearhead Hawaiian Style Pale Ale as Canada's best pale ale is an ongoing battle between me and Craft Beer Musketeer Glenn... more on that next time...

Rhyme & Reason Pale Ale: every label is a new piece of art

In the end, whatever happens (and believe me, I'm watching carefully), Nickel Brook stays put in Burlington in the most important way - I can still fill my growlers there. Remember, what's good for me personally benefits society-at-large. (Ask anyone. Start with me, though.) They'll just brew their big guns elsewhere. A new brewery - with a different name, comprised of Nickel Brook and Collective Arts people - opens somewhere in either Burlington or Hamilton. Maybe the old Lakeport property. Maybe somewhere else. Nickel Brook brewmaster Ryan Morrow keeps creating new beers, something he seems incredibly adept at. Here's hoping.... Ontario's craft brewing is poised to explode. I wanna walk away from that explosion with my sunglasses on... in slow-motion... looking cool. But I'll probably flinch. Kind of a wuss about loud noise. David wouldn't bat an eye, though.

I love this beer. And I am far from impressed
with the food services at the Rogers Centre

Okay, all feel-good stuff so far and I don't wanna end on a downer... but I'm kinda chaffed. Steam Whistle was the first craft brewer ever to make it into the Rogers' Centre last baseball season. (For those of you over 25, we call it the SkyDome.) They had one little beer-selling kiosk on Level 100. One... there's dozens of other big brewery mainstream beer selling venues in the SkyDome. No joke - dozens. Steam Whistle, who brew just ONE beer, a Czech-style pilsner, and are literally across the street from the SkyDome were recently told, "Hey, thanks for coming out for the team... but we don't need you this year" from Aramark Canada, the food services people for the SkyDome. That bothers me. Actually, it bothers me a lot. It's not like Steam Whistle is Amsterdam Brewery or Left Field Brewery or Mill Street Brewery with dozens of outstanding choices. How exactly is one Czech-style pilsner, however excellent, that threatening to the big guns? That's some weak tea, my friends... And now we are the only ballpark stadium  in ALL of Major League Baseball without a local craft beer. This pisses me off to no end and I do not get pissed easily. I say Steam Whistle gets some big-ass screens and we watch the games there. Frankly, the ambiance is better at the brewery.

Homer enjoys a Steam Whistle at a Toronto Blue Jays game.
He clearly knew they were getting yanked at the SkyDome...

Okay, before I go, I wrote last time about Guinness Draught for St Paddy's Day and here is an incredibly-awesome Guinness commercial that's over two minutes long. Enjoy this sheepdog fun in: Herding The Lads Okay, then we have Glenn and his over-insistent proclamations on pale ales, in which he is well-meaning but wrong and well, god bless him, he actually read the inside of the caps on Flying Monkey's Smashbomb Atomic IPA... and tells us all what they say. Read that here on: Someone Had To Read These I would have read the caps but I never noticed they had stuff written on them. A little too eager to drink the beer? Certainly a possibility. Also a possibility? Never noticed (bet on this one). Never been a small-print guy. Okay, remember last blog when I wound it down by saying next time I would be talking about Collective Art's Rhyme & Reason Pale Ale, Founder's Pale Ale, Amsterdam's Autumn Hop, Anchor's Liberty Ale, Brewery Ommegang's Hennipen Saison, Double Trouble's Fire in the Rye RPA, Young's Double Chocolate Stout and anything else, I can shoe-horn in??? And the blog before that, saying the same thing? Yeah, David's birthday tour bounced you all. Soon.

So thank you, Tony at Nickel Brook, for giving my boy his first brewery tour. I have always loved going there. Now, even a little more. Certainly an important step towards manhood. (Shhh, listen... Mommy's eyeballs rolling...)

Okay, gang at Cheers, that's it, that's all... and I am outta here!!!! Until next time, I remain, as always...

Guinness vs Guinness: St Paddy's Day smackdown

Back in the day, I used to think Guinness was this heavy,
thick, dark beer... Heavy? Here it is in a glass with Sprite.

Tomorrow is St Patrick's Day - or Amateur Night, as my friend, Stevil St Evil refers to it, given people's inclination to over-imbibe green draught beer... and feel even greener the following morning. You know these people. You've seen these people. Some of them wake up the next morning next to their new Irish friend, Paddy O'Furniture. (Old joke. Q: What was eight arms and an IQ of 80? A: Four frat boys drinking on St Paddy's Day.)

Now this St Patrick's Day, I'll be able to do something I've never done before: drink a Guinness. You see, back in the old pre-Brew-Ha-Ha days, I think I had one sip of it years ago... and recoiled in horror. I was a mainstream Canadian lager/pilsner drinker in those days, usually leaning to the likes of Labatt's Blue. For decades. Many, many decades.

That is, until I started this little beer-soaked horse and pony blog show last June and started charting new waters. But for the first four months of this blog, I steadfastly avoided porters and stouts. Two reasons: #1) late last Summer, I discovered IPAs, which continue to preoccupy my very existence on this mud-ball and #2) they still scared the hell out of me.

The Irish Beer Discovery Pack: Two Guinness, two Harp Lager, one
Smithwick's Red Ale and one Kilkenny Cream Ale. You wanna call yourself
Irish tomorrow, you had better start with some of these bad boys, rookie!

Finally, in my October 4 blog, I manned up and split a sixer of Mill Street Coffee Porter with co-worker, Saga. And *bam* a new love story had begun... first with porters, then with stouts. My stout cherry-buster was Nickel Brook's Bolshevik Bastard Imperial Stout and from there, it just got better and better. Now stouts are my second-favourite beer style behind IPAs and I'll tell you this: if it wasn't for the F&M Stonehammer Oatmeal Coffee Stout warming me up at the Winter Craft Beer Festival, I would have frozen to death. Okay, not really but if anyone (okay, women) questions my love for beer, I can smile and say wistfully, "Beer saved my life." Then I glance to the heavens with a dreamy look... and they usually let the matter drop because I'm obviously both a hopeless case and lost cause. Which is the actual intent. Not a fan of nagging. Like every guy in the universe.

You will see many of these t-shirts tomorrow, accompanied
by a plethora of green. And admit it. You'd happily kiss her
even if her once-a-year shirt said: "Kiss Me, I'm Rwandan"

Well, since it will be St Patrick's Day tomorrow, please allow me to be your full-blooded Irish beer guide. Okay, half-blooded - I'm Scottish on my mother's side which should technically means that I love to drink but hate to pay for it. Obviously, my Irish side beats my Scottish side into submission on that little internal drinking vs paying conflict. But the Redmonds are from Wexford County in Ireland and let me tell you what I have learned over the years about Wexford. It starts with 'W'... okay, good enough, let's drink some Irish beer.

First up, my old nemesis, Guinness Draught. How is it these days? Well, after drinking Muskoka's Winter Beard Chocolate Cranberry Stout, Flying Monkeys' The Chocolate Manifesto Imperial Stout and Bellwood's Hellwoods Russian Imperial Stout, Guinness is... incredibly (almost mind-bogglingly) light-tasting. To my taste-buds now, this lacks the rich complexity of the previously-mentioned (much higher alcohol) stouts. However, that doesn't tell the full story of the world's most popular draught stout.

If you noticed the Guinness before you
noticed her eyes... you may be Irish...

The nitrogen cartridge that ignites the second you crack the can open actually creates a head that stays for the entire length of the beer. (Less-challenging in my case, yes...) Lightly licorice on the nose, this 4.2% offering is slightly burnt malt on the tongue. And again, I am stunned by how light this beer is. I have been told I have to try it on tap to get the full Guinness Experience and believe me, I will. My high school buddy, Roy, went one further, toured the actual St James's Gate Brewery in Dublin and had it on tap there. He raved to me about it. And Roy knows beer. Granted, during our high school days, we were out for nights on the town where Roy and I were both happy if we knew our address by the end of the night... and were still wearing shoes... and pants... shirts... any semblance of dignity.

Next up in my little Irish Beer Discovery Pack was Smithwick's Red Ale. Pouring a deep blood red, it is malty and fruity on the nose (hard to distinguish - apple, perhaps?), malty sweetness and some bitterness on the tongue. A highly-quaffable red ale - a style I happen to really enjoy - at 4.5%, this could be an awesome summer patio beer.

Guinness Extra Stout, made here under licence
by Labatt's. A little closer to my kind of stout

Next on deck, representing the Irish side, we have Kilkenny Cream Ale. Pouring ruby red, its nose is malty (not much else) and on the tongue is remarkably thin for a cream ale, even a 4.3% one. You know what I can say about having this Kilkenny Cream Ale? I can say I've had a Kilkenny Cream Ale. That's about it. Not horrible but also not remarkable in any way, shape, form or manner.

Which brings me to the final Irish beer (but there's more), Harp Lager. Okay, here we go. If you go out for St Paddy's festivities and you drink Canadian, Coors Light, Blue, Bud or Keith's, boy, do I have the authentic Irish beer for you. It's exactly like those... though a touch more flavourful. Some malt, corn and grassiness to the nose... mild malt on the tongue, it's fairly typical of a North American mass-produced lager but again - to repeat - it's Irish!!! It's 5% so in the comfort zone and if you're drinking it and really want to give off that Irish inflection, just say these four words repeatedly and more quickly each time you down another Harp: "Whale Oil Beef Hooked." You're welcome. Told you I was a good Irish beer guide... y'know, for a half-blood...

The Irish strategy for the next major war?
Build a Guinness tank, drink a bunch of it
and then fall asleep. Fighting is for bars....

Well, we're bringing this show back to Canada to investigate the Guinness Extra Stout, brewed here under licence by Labatt Brewery. Okay, so credit where credit is due, this 5% stout packs a lot more punch than the Dublin version. Chocolate and licorice on the nose and the same on the tongue with some roasted bitterness. Because it doesn't use a nitro cartridge, it doesn't retain the head for very long but that said, this is actually a really good tasty stout. I could drink this happily and likely will. But here's an interesting sidenote for the guys: a loyal Labatt's Guinness customer swore up and down to Saga and me that it has, well, magical powers below the belt line. His exact words? "Liquid Viagra." Saga and I both walked out with a six-pack that day. If he's right, that vegetable crisper at the bottom of the fridge that never has vegetables in it because, well, this is Donny's Bar and Grill, which is kind of a veggie-free zone? It's becoming my Labatt's Guinness crisper. The other crisper is always full of potatoes because... oh, I mentioned the Irish thing, right? (For the record, RateBeer disagrees with me with the Dublin version scoring 88 to Labatt's 81.)

And here's a unique craft beer, the Black Creek Historical Brewery's Irish Potato Stout. My Three Beer Musketeer compadre Cat has a step-sister who is the GM of Black Creek Pioneer Village operation in Toronto. So here's where it gets interesting...

The Black Creek Historical Brewery's Irish Potato Stout:
no studies as of yet as to its effects on the male libido...

Cat and her step-sister are chatting one day about the job, what it entails, y'know job stuff. It's a pioneer village so lots of people in olde-timey clothes, tapping trees for maple syrup, churning butter, doing pioneer stuff... all for the benefit of eager (and probably a few less-eager, like I was) school kids to learn about life in the pioneer days was like. Gonna guess it sucked pretty hard but still, good stuff to know, right? So she's telling Cat, "I'm in charge in this stuff, that stuff, other things (I'm paraphrasing here) and of course, the brewery." Brewery... Brewery? Brewery!!!!! Yup, it turns out this historical village has a brewery. Okay, maybe pioneer times sucked a little less than I thought. And it turns out that brewery makes a Irish Potato Stout. It only has five reviews on RateBeer (not enough for a score) so I wrote one, giving it a 17 out of 20. My review?
"I am so used to fruit and chocolate-flavoured stouts that this one slapped me a little. I get the feeling this is what stouts are meant to be. Licorice to the nose, light chocolate and heavier licorice on the tongue. This is actually a really solid stout for a 5% beer."

My mark may have been a tad generous but what the hell... Cat's step-sister. No word as of yet if it has the same magical powers that the Labatt's Guinness allegedly does... but given the way the Irish procreate??? Not a bad bet.

Green draft beer tomorrow night? Yeah, don't. Never ends
well. Also, green dye turns your pee a really bizarre colour...

Okay, that wraps up the St. Paddy's Brew Ha Ha! Remember last blog when I wound it down by saying next time I would be talking about Collective Art's Rhyme & Reason Pale Ale, Founder's Pale Ale, Amsterdam's Autumn Hop, Anchor's Liberty Ale, Brewery Ommegang's Hennipen Saison, Double Trouble's Fire in the Rye RPA, Young's Double Chocolate Stout and anything else, I can shoe-horn in??? 

Yeah, that's still true. Next time... Okay, shout-outs... remember my last outing about ditching Comic Con to go to Steam Whistle? Well, Pizza Dude, The IPA Guy was the ditchee we left behind... here's his story of how the Two Beer Musketeers ditched him at: Where's Everyone Go? Wait... Is That A Brewery Over There? And of course, Cat revisits her beloved Amsterdam Brewery with the Pizza Dude in this offering called: I Am A Golden Goddess In This Brewery!!!

Okay, Gang at Cheers, that's it, that's all... and I am outta here!!!!! Until next time, I remain, as always...

Funny thing happened on the way to Comic Con

Three female Loki's... tempted to join the dark Asgardians here

Actually, several funny things happened on the way to the 2014 Comic Con at the Toronto Convention Centre this past Saturday. Not to mention, more than a few funny things happening during Comic Con. But this, too, is Comic Con...

First of all, the other two members of the Three Beer Musketeers, Cat and Glenn, were already at the Convention Centre while I struggled to find parking. Eventually, I found some underground parking but instantly ran into a problem with the ticket machine. All of its instructions involved pushing either red or green buttons. I'm am actually colourblind by virtue of something called Red-Green Deficiency. I kept pressing buttons... and the machine (in a dimly-lit area) kept duly spitting back my money. Finally, a family of three passed by and the mother took pity and did the transaction for me. Father and son stood back, quietly snickering at the dude who couldn't make a simple parking ticket machine work.

Glenn holds up a plastic cup of Flying
Monkeys City and Colour Imperial Maple
Wheat. Yeah, we're trailer-trash, drinking
outside of a Comic Con... but we're drinking
good CRAFT beer... so class points for that.

I wish I could say it ended there. They pointed me to the nearest stairwell and once in, I couldn't get out. Every door in the stairwell was locked, including the one I came through. Yes, I was trapped in two-storeys of a stairwell... with Comic Con not 400 metres away. Finally someone came through a door and I was gloriously free from my little concrete prison. I felt like Tim Robbins in The Shawshank Redemption, except I had no Morgan Freeman to narrate my exploits. By the end, given the frustration I was feeling, Samuel L Jackson would have been a better choice. His choice of much harsher words would have been a little more exact to how I was feeling. Something like: "I am tired of the mother-loving locked doors in this Monday-to-Friday stairwell!!!" Well, something like that...

However, the day got considerably less frustrating and much more fun when I finally caught up to Porthos and Amaris... uhhh, Cat and Glenn, I mean. (Actual literary reference... enjoy, it'll be the last one for quite some time. Possibly, ever.) Seeing my nerves a bit of the frayed side, Glenn had the cure, having brought in his bag some elixir of the gods - an unopened 750-ml bottle of Flying Monkeys City and Colour Imperial Maple Wheat. I needed a 10% beer to make things better. I've had it before, talked about it here even but I tell ya, that went down nicely. Maple on the nose, even stronger, sweeter maple on the tongue and a perfect dessert beer to start the day.

Comic Con means ladies in eye-catching and
sexy costumes, such as Harley Quinn here...

And where did we drink it? Right out back in a parkette out of plastic cups. Like every rubbie and bum in Toronto does. Except our beverage was a craft beer. So upper-scale bums.

Once inside, Glenn scooted into the Con on the strength of a media pass he had wrangled weeks ago. Cat and I stood in the ticket line-up - about the length of a football field - and told him we'd meet him inside. Except the line-up didn't move... maybe one foot in 20 minutes tops. At some point, we decided we would be better served simply walking back out to the lobby and snapping pictures of the arriving costumed adventurers there. So we did. Dozens and dozens were pouring in from the streets and all were eager to pose. We justified it to ourselves as being present at Comic Con, if not actually in Comic Con. Also saved $40 each. Got tons of pics and eventually went back outside for a smoke break with Glenn still inside. While out there, I pointed across the street to Steam Whistle Brewery and noted we could be at their front doors before our smokes were done. We already had a few dozen pics each, as many as I took the last time I was, you know, actually in Comic Con. And frankly, Steam Whistle was calling to us. Screaming, really. In a Samuel L Jackson voice. "Get yer cracker asses over to that mother-loving brewery!!"

If this guy didn't win an award, there is no justice. A
combination of DJ Deadmau5 and Marvel character, the
wise-cracking trained assassin Deadpool. Just brilliant.

Hey, if you're at Comic Con and you hear Nick Fury's voice screaming at you, you obey like a good little Agent of SHIELD. So off we went. Once inside, it became readily apparent we weren't the only Comic Con folks there. Grabbing our Steam Whistle, one of Canada's best Czech-style pilsners, we joined two young dudes at a stand-up table. I was wearing a SHIELD t-shirt as was one of the two guys at the table... so y'know, instant buddies! SHIELD bros! Cat and I forget their names but I'm gonna call them Bill and Ted because they shared a Most Excellent Adventure with us. Turns out they had gone to the Fan Expo last Autumn (as had Glenn who got to sit in a room and listen to the legendary Stan Lee.) So they decided to wear the red ensign shirts from the original Star Trek series. Anyone who remembers that original run back in the 1960s knows exactly what the red ensign shirt means. It means your name will never show in the credits because you don't one word of dialogue. Also when you beam down to the alien planet with Kirk, Spock and Bones, you are gonna die. Automatically. It will likely be grizzly, too. Aliens will suck your brain out or stab you repeatedly with a funky alien spear. Maybe if you're lucky, they just set you ablaze with a nasty green alien fire weapon.

Dude, we told you not to put on the red ensign shirt...

So Bill and Ted go to Fan Expo and people are yelling at them, "You're gonna die!!!" Which they loved. However, they brought one knuckle-head friend, also dressed in a red ensign shirt, who decided that would be the perfect day to, ahem, drop acid. He says to Bill and Ted, "Everyone's staring at us!!!", which, of course freaks him out. Then this poor chowderhead had to deal with the fact that everyone was screaming at him that he was gonna die!!! But the topper, according to Ted, was being in a room when David Hasselhoff walked in. That put him over the paranoia edge. Despite my misspent youth, I have no experience with that particular narcotic (it wasn't really around much) but apparently, you do not want to see The Hoff when you've ingested it. I understand. I wouldn't want see The Hoff in a normal frame of mind, much less high as a kite. Cat and I could not stop laughing as Bill and Ted spun their tale...

HULK... SMASH... STEAM WHISTLE!!!!
Also Mr Hulk, sir, that's a very pretty bag...

Eventually, Glenn caught up to us at Steam Whistle. He had no signal in the bowels of the Convention Centre and it wasn't until he was outside that he got our texts. Ironically, he passed Bill and Ted as he was entering and they were exiting the brewery. Knowing the story of our lost companion, Ted looked him up and down and said simply, "Don and Cat are near the back." Bill and Ted can tell a lost Musketeer. Come back to the trio, Aramis... we have missed thy companionship.

Well, now is when the important part of the day's events kick in. The Comic Con was only meant to be a colourful preamble to a visit with the craft-beer-heavy C'est What eatery on Front Street. And oh man, did they have craft beer there. I started with a County Durham Brewing Hop Head, which, of course, I assumed was an IPA. Thought it was good enough but not very hoppy for an IPA. Turns out it's a 6% blond ale. Ooops, my bad for assuming. Well then, as a straight-up blond ale, it's pretty good. The nose was bitter, almost acidic but on the tongue, it did have a very lightly citrus hop to it. Very light. Then again, it's a blond ale so yeah, that's what they're meant to taste like.

Glenn and Cat both started with a Granite Brewery Hopping Mad Pale Ale, also 6%, and while the Hop Head scored 11 points better on RateBeer (95 to 84), I liked the Hopping Mad much more simply because I much prefer pale ales to blond ales.

How Cat and I spent Comic Con... drinking beer at Steam
Whistle Brewery? Why? Because it was there... that's why...

Because pale ales have a far greater latitude for the style, the Hopping Mad did have some citrus tanginess to it in the aroma (meaning Cascade hops, most likely) followed by a hint of orange in the taste. Very nice beer, really good! From there, I went to tried-and-true choices, Flying Monkeys Smashbomb Atomic IPA and Cameron's Rye Pale Ale, both of which I know, I've drank and I love. Why? Because I've never had them on draft tap. The verdict? Exactly as top-shelf as they are in the bottle except (yes, guy!) bigger serving. More Smashbomb in a glass? Sold!

From there, Cat went to the Wellington County Brewery's Terrestrial India Brown Ale, a surprisingly hop-infused 5.9% offering. Had a sample and was impressed. Brown ales don't tend to pack a lot of punch, often veering to blandness, but this one had tons. You could smell the hops (Amarillo and Sorachi Ace) while the taste was caramel and nutty. One of the best brown ales I've ever had.

The Steam Whistle St Paddy's Day Party where
they'll be breaking out these one-litre beer boots

Finally, and I'm not sure which Musketeer got it, was a sampler of Dieu du Ciel's The Alchemist Moralite, an outstanding IPA from the Montreal brewery that already bowled us over at the Bellwoods Brewpub with their Aphrodisiaque Stout, one of the rare 100s I've seen on RateBeer. They used Simcoe, Citra and Centennial hops in the Moralite so the nose is all hops, tons of grapefruit and mango on the tongue. Absolutely outstanding! I have got to get to that brewery!!! Summer road trip, Three Beer Musketeers!!

Okay, this Saturday (March 15), prepare your livers for the Steam Whistle St. Paddy's Party. My young Toronto beer-loving friend, D'Arcy, worships all things Steam Whistle, particularly their parties (which do rock) so I was sure to tell her that they would be offering their product in this one-litre (nearly 34 ounces) glass boot. Turns out she's already earned her boot, having bought one filled with Steam Whistle at the Pickle Barrel. The boot is tricky, she confessed. The trick, she says, is to "watch out for the toe air bubble (because) the beer will come ker-blomping at your face. The key is to drink (with the boot turned) sideways and slowly at mid-calf." I suspect she knows both Steam Whistle and boots, glass or otherwise, so heed her advice. It's $20 at the door and they've probably cleaned up after me by now. Well, by Saturday for sure... Party details are right: HERE! It's Steam Whistle, people... always a blast!

My Facebook relationship status. It's torrid between us...

Up next (and I'm writing them here so I don't forget) we have Collective Art's Rhyme & Reason Pale Ale, Founder's Pale Ale, Amsterdam's Autumn Hop, Anchor's Liberty Ale, Brewery Ommegang's Hennipen Saison, Double Trouble's Fire in the Rye RPA, Young's Double Chocolate Stout and anything else, I can shoe-horn in. People, it can be brutal researching all these beers on your behalf... but goddammit, you're worth it. All of you. Except for you...yeah you, the stoned dude in the corner who keeps calling me The Hoff. Here's a bag of Doritos Wild Ranch... go away.

Our Fourth Beer Musketeer, D'Artagnan, a.k.a. Stevil St Evil, now residing
in Wellington, New Zealand, was, as always, with us in ghostly drinky spirit

Shout-outs... well, Glenn and Cat recently visited Amsterdam Brewery and Pizza Dude gives us all the gory details in: Ooops.., Almost Went To Cleveland!! As for our adventure on the weekend, Cat offers up her version with this one: How To Do Comic Con Without Doing Comic Con

And Stevil St Evil... well, its the middle of the summer in New Zealand. He's doing what we all would... sitting on his deck overlooking the harbour and pounding down top-flight Kiwi IPAs.

Well, gang, that's it, that's all... and I am outta here!!! Next one is soon... I've already done the... *burp*... research. Until then, I remain, as always...