Hanging in the Hammer with Young Nick

For Stop #1 on our whirlwind Hamilton Brewery Tour, I took Nick
(well, actually, he was driving so I suppose he took me) to Clifford
Brewing in West Hamilton. It was an important stop because they are
the reigning Canadian Brewery of the Year. Also, owner Brad Clifford
was on hand (he's always there so I figured) to talk to us both and give
a little insight on the brewing world. So let's say the day started bigly.

The first time I ever worked with young Nick, it started with a chirp. That's right - the little bastard chirped me.

"I hear you're really horrible to work with," he grinned. "That's right," I replied in all seriousness. "I am literally the worst." (That's hyperbole. Working with Hitler was way worse. Probably.)

*Awkward pause* "Well," he sighed, "this is no fun if you don't play along..." (Rule #1: Let the newbies know their place in the hierarchy.)

Since that point, it has been one long series of chirps back and forth. Mostly me. (I know at my age I'm expected to be the mature one... but hey, man, he started it!!)

At one point during this pandemic, when my store opened back up to taking beer, wine and liquor bottles (in Ontario, you pre-pay your empty deposit at point of purchase), we divided the lobby into two zones. Two people with empties on the left, two people buying beer allowed on the right. I was usually the traffic cop at the door. Mostly because I'm loud. I like to say, "a voice that could command the gods." Perhaps my long-time co-worker, Trishan, would have the best measure of which. Whenever we get a new hire, they tend to start Mondays. I'm always off Mondays. He tells them, "Tomorrow, you'll meet Donny and realize just how quiet you've been all your life." Huh. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

Stop #1 on the Nick and Donny Hamilton Brewery Tour
was our friend, Brad, at Clifford Brewery over there in
east Hamilton. (The elders still call it Stoney Creek.) So
anyway, here's young Nick enjoying a Fruition Fruited
Sour with coconut, pineapple and lime, something he said
was "interesting and unique." This kid enjoys his Sours.

So, anyway, Nick was usually on the selling beer side. And I started instructing people (with a smile, of course, blocked by a facemask) to go to the "ugly kid over there." Evil, yes, but once again in my defence, not exactly "Let's invade Poland."

Now because most beers upset his stomach, Nick started at my store as the guy who drank radlers - half beer, half fruit juice, usually grapefruit. It's not as severe as a gluten-allergy or anything but just enough to cause him discomfort. Eventually, though, he started trying Sour beers and found not only did they not irritate his gut, he quite enjoyed the taste. His father, Mike, who I've now met several times, is a little more like me in his beer tastes, enjoying his big IPAs though he's less keen on the stouts and porters. But Nick has a brother who drinks the dark beers (his favourite is Cameron's Ambear Red Ale so good on him!), as well as the lagers/pilsners. So the trio have most of the styles covered.

So for the past few months, Nick has submerged himself into the Sour Beer scene. And when we originally planned this little Brewery Getaway, he wanted to go to Toronto. Only West Toronto, I suggested, otherwise you're stuck in a huge headache of a traffic quagmire and trapped there for infinity... and beyond.

With Brad being at Clifford that day, we were
able to ask him: How exactly do you win Brewery
of the Year? Okay, say you enter eight beers at
the Canadian Brewing Awards in the various
categories, what brewers do is put four of them
forward as their competitors. Based solely on the
medals they win (with weighted points for gold
through bronze), they tally up your score and the
highest takes it all. Just like Clifford did in 2019.

Only it's not as funny and entertaining as Toy Story.

So a month ago, I threw out a half dozen brewery names and left it for Nick to decide. Basing his decision on the breweries with Sours he had not tried, he selected Rainhard Brewing, Junction Craft and Indie Alehouse. (Truth is he was driving so I left it up to him. Every brewery's got something for me.) Tough to argue those - all stellar choices. Except it turned out that two were closed Mondays. Earlier I had suggested Hamilton would be an easier run for us from Oakville so I threw all the Hamilton names at him, except Grain & Grit, which is closed Mondays and let him decide. My only caveat? Clifford Brewing, the 2019 Canadian Brewery of the Year, (I say that pretty much every time I mention them) had to be included.

Based on the Sours he saw from the list of Hamilton breweries, he decided we'd go to Clifford, Merit Brewing, Collective Arts Brewing and Fairweather Brewing. Again, all fine choices and certainly all brew beers I'm happy to buy!

On our way over to Clifford, our Stop #1, he was curious as to why I was so insistent on them. Couple of reasons, I said. First, owner Brad is bound to be there (he was) and second, they were Canada's reigning Brewery of the Year. Nick was startled. "Really?" Yupper do, man! To young Nick, his big brewery tour was starting perfectly. (To an old salt like me, ALL brewery tours start perfectly because of "I'm at a brewery, what else could you ever need?" reasons.)

Just want my Vegas buddies to know that they were
very well represented in Hamilton as I wore my buddy
Mark's Pennys4Vegas shirt, as well as my Bud-themed,
Modern Gothic-style Hogand2cent face-mask. Stylin'!

Well, very much NOT to my surprise, Nick seriously loved it there. Brad had plenty of time to talk to us. He dug Nick's 2019 burnt orange Dodge Challenger (the kid's got a pretty sweet little road-rocket) and asked him all about it. While the brewing area is fenced off, Nick got a chance to really see the vats, tanks and the inner workings of a legit Best-in-Canada brewery. Great spot, great fun and as always, great to see Brad. Missed his father, though. Next time, Barc... we'll talk some more Vegas another day since neither of us is getting there any time soon.

Okay, from there, Nick had booked a lunch slot at Hambrgr, a well-known (though not to me) backyard burger place in Hamilton, whose secondary appeal is that it's a five-minute walk from Merit Brewing.

I guess they've been open for a little while under Phase 3 (being an essential worker who hasn't stopped, I don't even remember when that started) because they've got their social distancing thing down between the tables, both inside where we sat and out on the patio.

Forgot to take a picture of the cheeseburger, which is a shame
because it was fantastic but I didn't forget to take a picture of
the beer! The craft selection at Hambrgr is outstanding so I
got myself a Junction Craft Brewing Hazy IPA, which is ironic
because it was set to be one of our stops in Toronto. Some
plum on the nose, all tropical and orange in the mouth, 6.2%
and seriously just a solid example of the East Coast style!

No one but no one does a backyard burger as well as places like this. Yeah, costs more than Burger King and worth every penny. Fantastic outfit!

But their craft beer selection was as stellar as their eats. High Grade IPA by Fairweather Brewing, Shawn & Ed Lagershed Lager, Great Lakes October Wants to Fight IPA, as well as two from Junction Craft Brewing, their Junction Stout and New England IPA. And that's what was just on tap. In bottles and cans, Steam Whistle Pilsner, Clifford Brewing Porter, Phillips Brewing (Victoria, BC) Tiger Shark Pale Ale, Forked River Capital Blonde and Muddy York Gaslight Helles.

Shit, I could have sat there all afternoon (and well into the evening) and had plenty of drinking options! That said, brewing tours involve movement so after Hambrgr, we wandered on over to Merit Brewing.

Poor Nick. Every time we went to a new brewery, I made
him point up to the sign. Why? Because every time, I
take my son, David, to a brewery, that's his job. Point
at the sign. David loves having his picture taken. Nick?
Not so much. Tough shit. Yeah, he bitched but meh...

Now this is where I was very lucky to be riding shotgun with Nick. Ever since he dove into the Craft Beer Pond, he meticulously researches everything - new Sours releases for himself, new IPA releases for me and his Dad.

My sole purpose in visiting Merit was to grab a bottle of their Black Is Beautiful Stout, as well as a couple of their Young Rival IPA for "because I'm there anyway" reasons. But Nick remembered there was a secondary interest for me while we were in their Bottle Shop. "Didn't you also want that 10.2% Coffee Cake Imperial Stout? Remember they have that collaboration one with Sawdust City?" he asked me. Geezuz, what a memory on that kid because yes... yes, I did say exactly that. Like, hours previously. Uncanny. So, yeah, because of Nick, I grabbed a one-litre howler of What Friends Are For Coffee Cake Stout and geezuz, it was exactly as advertised. Coffee, vanilla, cinnamon - it was a liquid coffee cake. So bloody delicious! The ultimate dessert beer.

Okay, because Merit was a quick stop-and-shop destination, next we were off to Collective Arts Brewing because they had a couple of Sours Nick wanted and let's be frank, they'll ALWAYS have IPAs for me and Mike.

Of all the breweries I have visited (a small handful) since their
retail reopenings during this pandemic, I have to admit that
Collective Arts seems to have the best combo of protective
shields and proper social distancing. They are completely
contactless, as the sign says, with safety measures in place.

It's Collective Arts. That's what they do.

Now I gotta say in these pandemic times, the way that Collective has set up their retail is pretty damn impressive. Plexi-glass screens everywhere, strong safe distance measures in place, absolutely contact-less in every way possible. Even a sign that basically says, "For gawd sake, don't touch anything!!" THIS is a brewery that is taking Covid seriously - as all should be - as well as being fully committed to protecting their staff from those coming in from the outside. So Toni, Matt and Bob, take a bow. People from any business across the board in Ontario could take a lesson from you! 

While there, we both bought a Mix-Six, which we tucked into Nick's trunk and promptly returned to enjoy a bevvie in the sunshine on the patio. We both chuckled at the fact that the very same beers we bought for four bucks and change at retail were eight bucks at a patio just 15 feet away.

That's right, Monkey Boy, you pose under that damn sign. I'll
tell you when you can stop. Like I said, David wasn't available
so Young Nicky was my surrogate sign son for the day. Lucky!

Hey, man, tasty beer and sweet, sweet sunshine come at a price and frankly, we were happy to pay it.

Our last stop, Fairweather Brewing, turned out to be a bust. Despite being posted as open on their website, when we arrived, there was a sign on their door that said (something like), "Gone Fishing - Open Again on Wednesday." Whoa, bummer. Made for a long ride home as that put us directly into rush-hour traffic. That said, had we gone the Toronto route, it would have been worse. At least the Hamilton breweries are closer to Oakville.

But some interesting chat during the car-ride. Nick was curious about David's functioning levels (as many people are - I get asked that a lot) and if there's one thing I'm always happy to talk about, it's my boy. So I gave him the run-down. Exceptional memory (far superior to mine), strong social skills, extensive vocabulary compared to his peers growing up.

Of all of the Brew Crew, I told Nick to pay a lot of attention
to anything Graeme, right, has to say. A proficient home-
brewer, strong knowledge of Ontario's craft brewing past
and capable of breaking down any beer at practically a
molecular level, he's the guy you want on your Beer Reach
For The Top team. Here, he's chatting with Kimmy, the
one informally responsible for keeping us yahoos in check.

On the other side of the coin, because he's deaf in one ear, his enunciation can be tricky to comprehend though he shows tons of patience repeating himself until you understand. And while he can be adult in some situations, rebellious teen in others, at heart he is still a young boy driven hard with his fascination of DC and Marvel superheroes, as well as other trappings usually left behind by adulthood.

Turns out Nick's curiosity was partially-based on a TV show he had been watching called Love On The Spectrum, an Australian-based (picked up here by Netflix) reality show that followed young Autistic adults through scenarios such as dating and relationships. It was a fascinating watch, Nick noted, as some handled the perils and pitfalls of dating remarkably well while others literally needed a parent along as a chaperone for coaching. (It sounds pretty damn interesting to me.)

I suspect Nick's interest was piqued because as a teen, he admitted, his social anxiety was so high that he couldn't even attend a party with friends. "What we are doing today (touring breweries) would have been impossible for me then."

When Brew Crew member Greg first met Nick at the Beer
Store, his greeting was, "Hey, it's Sour Nick," a nod, of
course, to Nick's preferred beer style. In that, he also has
a friend in Greg, the Brew Crew's most adventurous guy
when it comes to Sours. I'll try the odd one but IPAs are
more my things. But all of our interests are pretty wide.

Mike, I am happy to tell you that your son has conquered it and in fact, never shuts the hell up at work. Obviously, joking but lemme tell you, Nick is hard into watching every release in all of Ontario. If there's a new IPA released anywhere, trust me, I hear about it.

Nick was also deeply interested in the loose collection of no-good-niks we call the Brew Crew. First of all, I told him to pay close attention to Graeme. Our resident homebrewer's knowledge of beers and their mechanics runs so deep, if he says a beer tastes like a fish fart, guess what? It tastes like a fish fart. Told him to watch both Curtis and Paulie G for their exceptional photos, as well as Paulie G's phenomenal descriptions of beers. Follow Glenn for the bad jokes, follow Greg for the Dad jokes. Kimmy has an eclectic taste in beer styles, scattered across the board. If you wanna brush up on your French, Joel's the man. Danny, up there in Sudbury, is also a homebrewer and a solid pro at picking out subtle flavours. Like Nick, Paul "The Big Peezy" has FOMO - fear of missing out and has amassed such a huge collection of beer that the rest of us are staggered by its enormity. And, of course, follow Drunk Polkaroo... simply because he's Polk. Anyways, a fun day, I thank you, Nick but Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain, as always...