Sunday 8 March 2020

Las Vegas? Coronavirus? I'm still going!!

This is where I scheduled to be the evening of Monday, March 16 and
this is where I'm gonna be. When one Toronto man returned from a
conference in Las Vegas with a now-confirmed case of the feared
Coronovirus, a number of my friends jumped on it, as if Las Vegas
was somehow an unsafe tourist designation. Bullshit, I say. We have
all these cases of it here in Ontario - 29 in total - while Las Vegas has
remained pretty clean thus far. One caught it in Vegas and came back
to Toronto. Another caught it in Washington and brought it to Vegas.
A few days back, news broke that a Toronto man returned from a conference in Las Vegas who was diagnosed with the Coronavirus.

Since that point, a great number of my friends have been sending me that story. Over and over... and over again. Why? Because I'm their "Vegas Friend," the one always going there.

But the thing is I've seen this happen also over and over and over in the course of my lifetime.

As you can see from the name of this craptastic blog, I've been here on this stinky little mudball of a planet a while. The Coronavirus is hardly my first pandemic. When I was a young kid, there was something called the Hong Kong Flu in 1968-69 that killed a million people worldwide. I was in elementary school and they gave us all shots with this massive eight-pronged needle that vaccinated us against pretty much everything. I still have friends with the needle scars on their shoulders.

Since then, I've seen the HIV/AIDS virus. I've seen the SARS virus. I've seen the Ebola virus. I've seen Swine Flu. Hell, in 2009 alone, there was a worldwide Flu pandemic that killed another 203,000-plus people around the globe.

And yet, somehow, I've survived at all.

But yes, absolutely, people have died. Especially in the case of HIV/AIDS where we're talking 32 million deaths since its initial outbreak. So by saying, "Well, hey, I survived," I'm not downplaying or underwriting that at all.
Here's a photo from @OnlyInLVNV on Twitter
showing a "Virus-protected" shopper at a Costco
in nearby Henderson, just 16 miles away from
Las Vegas. Why people have decided to buy out
all the toilet paper and bottled water baffles me.
It's a virus. Not a hurricane. Not a tsunami. None
of this will stop a virus. At all. This only helps one
single group. Those who own supermarkets. And
that's about it. So, folks, Costco thanks you all...
That's tragic on pretty much every single level. But just as history is doomed to continually repeat itself, you can count on a new virus every 10 years or so. Or at least that's been my experience.

So why the panic over the Coronavirus as opposed to, say, the flu? Well, lemme tell you. It's new and it's different. As a former journalist/editor, it's "sexy" for lack of a better word. It's the thing everyone's talking about so let's slap that on the front page or these days, I guess, have it continually trending on Twitter.

Now, looking at my friends' sudden panic over my Vegas travels with the Coronavirus out there, is this actually a big deal? On one level, I suppose yes, there is cause for concern and here's why. It goes from a virus to a pandemic when it is no longer localized in one country or a larger regional area, which is the case far more often than not, but rather spreads world-wide. Then it's a pandemic. Ergo, now that it's worldwide, Coronavirus can actually now be considered a pandemic. In 2013, there was a Measle outbreak in Vietnam. It killed 142 people and yet, no one paid attention because it remained contained in Vietnam.

So what about the Coronavirus and Vegas? Well, let's see. One Toronto man caught it down in Vegas at a convention and brought it back to Canada. A Vegas resident caught it in Washington state and brought it back to Vegas. Thus far, the Vegas Coronavirus stats are this: one-in, one-out. In Vegas, that's actually what's known as a "push."
Are you gambling on catching a nasty virus in Las
Vegas, simply because of an ongoing pandemic?
Vegas Vic says no. Here's why. You can catch the
Coronavirus anywhere. From the smallest of towns
to the largest of cities, your odds remain the same.
Neither the dealer nor the player win because they have the same hand. It's Even Steven. Move along.

This is as opposed to where I live - Ontario, Canada - where there have been 29 confirmed cases (with zero fatalities) thus far. As I have said to my London, Ontario buddy, Mark (aka @pennys4vegas), since we are both slated to land in Vegas next week, I believe we're safer in Vegas than we are at home.

In fact, because I work in retail and remain exposed to hundreds of people daily with actual face-to-face, money-exchanging-hands contact, well, that, my friends, is how you catch a virus. And yet, I still go to work, oddly without fear. And, to be frank, without that pay-cheque, I couldn't afford to travel.

So why wouldn't I go to Las Vegas? Despite my many friends' concerns, which I do appreciate, by the way, I am every bit as likely to catch it here as I am there. And to put it in Vegas terminology, the odds are still ridiculously low, regardless of geographic location.

I suppose the cause for concern for many is the mortality rate. With the Coronavirus, it's 3.4%, whereas with the flu, it's 0.1%. So for every 1,000 people who get the Coronavirus, 34 have died or will die.
When a group of us traveled to the Huntsville Brewhouse last
April to brew an IPA for Lake of Bays Brewing, brewery owner
Darren Smith, the good-looking one on the right, hung with us all
day, despite having a cold. However, wisely, he did not wish to
shake anyone's hand for fear of passing it along. Instead, what we
all did instead was this congenial elbow bump. No one got sick.
Only one in 1,000 will die from the flu. That said, the flu is - and always has been - the far greater threat. Why? Because it's that much more prevalent. There were an estimated 80,000 American deaths from Influenza in the Winter of 2017-18 alone, more than double what health officials consider to be a "bad year." The usual numbers in the USA during the 2010-2020 time period saw 16,000 deaths on the low end, 56,000 on the high end until that record 2017-18 Winter.

So, in essence, I am more likely to catch the basic flu on a Vegas vacation than the Coronavirus. And, if anything, catching a everyday common cold is the most likely of scenarios while traveling.

So how do you quell the fears of potential traveler when a pandemic like this breaks out? Well, if you're me (and to be clear, you are fortunate not to be), the recipe is a big mixing bowl of common sense with a completely inappropriate dash of humour thrown in as spice. For instance, whenever I read COVID-19, the virus' name, I do so to the tune of "Come On, Eileen" which gives it a much more musical and softer feel.
This is Tiffany at Banger Brewing, serving up their
antidote to viruses, known better as their El Heffe
Hefeweizen wheat ale. It's a well-known fact that
hops contain antimicrobial properties. So is young
Tiffany serving me a beer? No, she's potentially
saving my life!! Such a noble person, that Tiffany.

As a beer writer (of sorts) and a craft beer consumer (of, dare I say, legend - oh, I dare), I am also quick to remember that not only are hops natural preservatives, they also contain antimicrobial properties. Because I drink so many hopped-up beers, favouring IPAs, I am drinking the antidote to potential viruses. In fact, I am so health-conscious that I drink a remarkably high amount of this virus preventer. Some of my friends would go as far as to say I drink a ridiculous, possibly inhuman, amount of this particular medicine. Hey, man, you gotta take care of yourself. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Or get wrecked yourself. Not sure how that catchphrase actually goes.

As well, the World Health Organization (WHO) said last week that worldwide, they have seen 101,811 confirmed Coronavirus cases. Of that number, 3,460 have died, mostly the more-susceptible elderly in the Asian regions and oddly, Iran, which was hit hard. So there's your 3.4% mortality rate there. There have also been 55,882 who have completely recovered. The balance are still being treated. Those numbers remind me of that time I was pulled over and had to explain to the officer, "Yeah, sure, I hit a pedestrian but you're not even taking into account all the times I haven't hit a pedestrian." I mean, seriously, you have to look at both sides of the picture.
Okay, you wanna see something that could actually kill
me in Las Vegas? It'd be this little fun-loving activity just
off Fremont St that invites beer drinkers to throw many
sharp objects around. In fact, Axehole Vegas, doesn't
even stop at stop objects, offering up shovel throws as an
alternative. How drunk do you have to be to throw damn
shovels around? You'd have to be Tequila drunk, I'd say.

Also of note, a recent study showed that 38% of Americans will not purchase Corona beer because of the Coronavirus. To be clear, there is NO connection between the (inexplicably) popular libation and the virus. None, whatsoever. However, I can quite imagine that Constellation Brands, the conglomerate that owns the Corona line, approaching the WHO and offering multi-millions of dollars just to change the name to the BudLightvirus.

Okay, since the Coronavirus is no laughing matter, should I even be making jokes? No, probably not. But here's the thing. Gallows humour is where the brain naturally goes when we are inundated with a subject matter, such as the Coronavirus. So long as the humour is not racially-oriented because that's both mean and unfair. This is worldwide. It doesn't matter if it originated in the Wunan province or Cleveland. We're all susceptible now. We are being told by medical professionals to stay six feet away from other people so how do you connect or interact with others during a time like this? Well, right or wrong, this is how I do it. And Vegas? I'll see you on Monday, March 16. Make sure, as always, you have a sufficient supply of my hop-based medicine on hand. Peace out, homeys.

4 comments:

  1. Great post, yes you are a legend, ha. Safe travels.

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    Replies
    1. As safe as I can make it, for sure. The medicinal qualities of highly-hopped beers will be my savior!

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  2. Thanks, man. You going to the May Reunion? Johnny Blackburn may be making his first ever appearance!!

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  3. Further to this... the reunion has been wisely canceled.

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