Is hate winning? My friends discuss it.

I have done a whole lot of craft breweries a
solid by cropping them out of this picture.
MPP Stan Cho, on the left, attended a get-
together on the weekend with the Ontario
Craft Brewers association to talk about any
number of issues. Mostly access to product.
Sam Oosterhoff, right, also attended because
the meeting was at Bench Brewing and he is
their MPP. That caused an issue or twelve.

The first and really only time I had heard of Glanbrook-Niagara MPP Sam Oosterhoff, I was - where else? - in Las Vegas. At the tender age of 21, he announced that he hoped abortions would become illegal again in Canada.

Okay, here's my take on abortions. I have no uterus... thus my opinion is irrelevant. (But if you actually wanted my opinion - and I see no reason why you would - I'm pro-choice.) I have a much stronger stand on castration, mind you, and that is: "That sounds like it would hurt so no. But as Bob Barker would say, spay and neuter your pets."

As I said, I was in Vegas. Someone posted it on Twitter and I simply retweeted it, noting, "Why is it every time I leave Canada, the loonies come out to play?" Not an exact quote. Words to that effect. And, no, I didn't mean Canadian currency.

I then promptly forgot Sam Oosterhoff existed. And then I remembered him again this past weekend. Not for a good reason. You see, a bunch of craft brewers got together with MPP Stan Cho, the parliamentary assistant to the Finance Minister (so kind of the #2 Finance Minister) to talk shop. Open access to their product. Getting a leg up in the marketplace. Business stuff that business people have to do with the government. Sounds kinda gross and icky. Probably is. I'm not a business person so I wouldn't know. However, because the meeting was held in Beamsville at Bench Brewing, the local MPP joined in. That would be Sam Oosterhoff. And lemme tell you this for free, he's a lightning rod for controversy because of his beliefs.

Okay, there's two people in this one. One is young(ish), brown, gay and
way hipper than the other. But the old guy? He goes to Las Vegas a lot so
it's not like he's un-fun. Anyway, the young hip one is Trishan, my senior
fulltimer at our place of business. The old guy with the Hulk Hogan? He
is a moron. Seriously. Know him well. Humongous moron. BUT I will say
this about him. He just wants people to be happy. That's his big thing.

You see, he goes a little bit beyond abortion. He also believes that same-sex marriages should not exist because, and I am quoting here, it's "disrespectful to mothers and fathers." How any two people loving each other is disrespectful to anyone at all in this or any other universe is beyond me. But I do know my mother, who's 89, has no issue with it. Hell, she's in full support. (How bad have things gotten when an 89-year-old woman is more in touch with society's wants and needs than a 22-year-old man? But I digress.)

I, personally, as a man who has been married and divorced twice, also support same sex marriage. Why? The easy answer is love is love is love. The honest answer? If there was ever a TV show called "Gay Divorce Court," I would watch the shit out of that. Don't sneer. This is how we learn about others.

If this image makes you at all uncomfortable, all I can
say is never go to Vegas. I have seen men kiss men. I
have seen women kiss women. I have seen women kiss
men. Actually, I've pretty much seen everything there.
And I don't even gamble. I go for the beer. And to get
away from some crazy old lady that I'm in charge of.
Long story short, love comes in every shape and size.

So anyway, the whole Sam Oosterhoff meets the craft brewers thing was all over Twitter on the weekend. Why? Because whether it's true or not, craft beer drinkers like to think we're inclusive of all. That's probably not the case. Okay, it's definitely not the case. But we're working on that. But including Oosterhoff in the picture? Kind of the opposite of inclusive.

And Twitter exploded. Remember when Ellen (you don't need her last name because I can't spell it and everyone knows her) hosted the Oscars and they did a celebrity selfie in the audience that crashed Twitter? Yeah, like that. Except with poorer people.

One caught my eye because I was guilty with regard to what she was saying. The author was Robin LeBlanc. In Ontario (and perhaps beyond) she is a well-known beer author (two books with Jordan St John - perhaps more - I suck at Math) and apparently, quite an accomplishment photographer. We have met once but we're not exactly besties. I mean, we've met once. But she asked about my son, David. So I like her for that.

This is our Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. He
is happy to march with the Gay Pride Parade
because his old man, a fellow named Pierre,
that I am old enough to remember, once said
that the nation had no place in the bedrooms
of Canadians. But if they could tidy it up a bit?

Anyhow, we're pretty much polar opposites. She is young (early-30s), gay and has faced discrimination. I am old, white, straight and have faced sweet-eff-all. So she was talking on Twitter and said it was staggering how many guys didn't know who Oosterhoff was. The reason being simply his trajectory does not cross mine. But if you're gay, like my coworker Trishan or Robin (both sides of the coin), it does. Very much so. Robin says that you have to "contrast that with the LGBTO+ folks and women who definitely know who he is because he wants to remove their rights."

She gave "straight white dudes" a pat on the back because at least we're talking about it. "Dudes are learning and they want to be better." But I foolishly tread into the deep end without my floaters, admitted that I knew of him, not the whole story but I researched him a little and asked her, "How did he get elected?"

"Because, quite frankly, hate is winning," came her response. *Mic drop* Obama out. Seacrest out. Everyone out. (Seriously, get the hell out. I'm not running a hostel. But, Barack? Anytime, man. Let's do beers. If some of your cool rubs off on me, I would not be unhappy.) So, back to Robin. Is hate winning? I went to three people to ask. My co-worker Trishan and a couple of oldie goldies that I will introduce you to in a minute or so.

Okay, the lovely lady on the right is Amanda. She often
travels with Trishan (they are pretty much best friends as
far as I can tell) and his collection of lunatic buddies. But
when in Vegas and Mexico, these two give the appearance
of being a couple. I personally don't think he could do that
well if he was straight but that's another story. Anyway,
these two grifters float into jewelry stores, pretend they
are a couple and make store staff go insane. She'll look
at the most expensive jewelry, he'll say, "Whatever you
want, honey" and it gets very Pretty Woman from there.
That is my favourite Amanda-Trishan story hands-down

So I asked Trishan, is hate winning? His answer came quickly. "Yes." Okay, that was fast. Why? He related a story to me. On this last weekend, one of these Christian groups decided they wanted to have a little march in Toronto's "Village." The Village, according to Trishan, is where a number of Toronto gays live. Church Street and somewhere. It is safe, it is a sanctuary, there is no judgement there. (Well, mostly true. Trishan has told me gay people can be as judgy and preachy as straight people. From everything he has told me, our similarities far outweigh our differences.)

So anyway, the gay community there decides it will counter-protest the Christians. Looking like an ugly scene. Potentially. But, and I now love him for this, Toronto Mayor John Tory steps in and says he will be there too. Standing with the gay community. Because you know what the Toronto Mayor brings with him? That would be police presence. Funny how people back down when cops are around. So Trishan told me, the whole thing - Christians very deliberately demonstrating in a place that is considered gay sanctuary - fizzled out. I'm pretty glad to hear that. Trishan is my friend. Has been for 20 years. You want him? Come through me first. Anything that's left of you - and it won't be much - can then deal with Trishan. He's probably stronger than me. But I suspect he fights fairly. I'll take a metal pipe to a bastard.

Okay, this fugly bastard is Steve. I met Steve
when I was 14 and we're friends. As a black
dude in Oakvile, he has had a few challenges.
But to answer your obvious question, yes, he
has always had a fan growing out of the back
of his head. A black thing? No, a Steve thing.

Okay, that's Trishan. We almost always get along. Except when we don't. Sometimes he gets mad at me because, well, I'm not the best worker. What he doesn't realize is that he gets a better Worker Donny than most have. Not because he's gay or anything. I could give a shit. Because I'm a "peace at any cost" guy and his whining is as annoying AF. He'll appreciate me some day. Or not. Doesn't matter. I like him. And I'll take a pipe to any bastard who's mean to him. That's really the most important thing.

So lemme go back a little further. I mean, Trishan is good and all but I am old. I have known more people in my life. Let's start with Steve. To be honest, Steve was my first black friend. I met him when I was 14 or so and I think we've been friends since. At that time, he was the only black dude I knew. There weren't a lot in Oakville. He was a super terrific athlete, he was as popular as hell and I was just happy he numbered me among his friends. Like Trishan, as you can see, this jerkwad has a perfect set of teeth. They're effing A-holes. Both of them.

So I asked Steve: Is hate winning? Okay, let's put ALL the cards on the table here. Steve and I grew up as teenagers in the 1970s. It was a slightly more tolerant time but only because we had just come out of the 1960s. Steve, did you face prejudice back then?

Okay, this is Hannah, Steve's daughter. This young
lady is so stunningly beautiful (again with the perfect
teeth) that when I met her all I could say was: "I have
seen you on Facebook. Your Dad really loves you..."

"Yes, I did back then from strangers and others." Ouch, not a good start. But as Robin believes, is hate winning? Or is it better now?

"I'm gonna say no. I think there is more social awareness and tolerance but it (racism) is still here. It has been more covert until the Trump and Ford era so they (those on the far right) get more air-time now."

Not getting any better here. But is there hope? "I think our children are possibly at the start of bridging some of the hate gap among cultures, not just black and white. Soon it will be hard for any generation to say they haven't had interaction with another cultural (or differently skin) coloured group. So that should be a good thing."

And life as a black person with ridiculously good teeth, what's that like? "I do carry myself day-to-day as a black guy. Things could be and are a little different for me. It's hard to change a belief system. Oppression (and) hatred run deep into a person's belief system (because) it's been around for 1,000 years."

So hatred is winning then, Steve?

I dunno, man. The white guy is
going all in for the hug here. The
black dude? Half an arm up at
best. Come on, man, work it. Oh,
it's something I pulled off Google.
Probably not relevant or anything.

"It's here. It's probably not winning but it's flexing its muscles somewhat because of the political climate."

Though as a cautionary note, he finished his statement. "But it's here and very dangerous."

This is how people who are not white feel every day. This is how people who are not straight feel every day. This is how women feel every day. The world is not always a safe place for them.

I wake up every morning and drag a brush through the bush-weed I call my hair. I never think, "Is this the day I will be attacked for my skin colour?" Or "Is this the day I will be belittled because I love someone who is my gender?" Or... and I truly hate this one (Okay, I hate them all but this is half the population) ... "Is this the day someone will tell me what I can and cannot do with my uterus?"

Now I have one more high school friend named Aruna that I was going to include here. She's brown and married a white dude. Apparently, in high school, I ran with the cool kids. She felt excluded. I did not know that. I suspect none of us did. Turns out life is not a 1980s John Hughes' "Are you a cool high school kid or not" movie. But I love her story so much that screw it, she gets her own column. I'm not entirely sure that will fix anything from the past. I can't change that. But maybe I can alter it now. Let's see how I do.