Drunk Polkaroo FINALLY gets his big night...

Here he is at the podium. That exact moment when he went from the
Drunk Polkaroo to the award-winning Drunk Polkaroo at the Golden
Tap Awards ceremony at The Berkeley Church in east Toronto on
Thursday, September 13th. This year, the Golden Taps were held in
conjunction with the Ontario Brewing Awards so, wow, what a night!

On Monday, September 10 late at night, I got a Twitter message from my buddy Rob, who most of you know better as Drunk Polkaroo.

I had taken to referring to him as Best Beer Writer in Ontario for 2018 in our private messages, thinking THIS would be the year he would finally get that title at the Golden Tap Awards. 

As we all know, Ben Johnson, who is an excellent journalist, had won the title for an unprecedented four years' straight. Which is precisely how long this one particular award has been around - four years.

However, I made a serious miscalculation last year. I bet Polk that he would win the Best Beer Writer. But here's the thing. Johnson wrote a piece on Sexism in Ontario Craft Beer Labels and Marketing in early 2017 that was pretty much worthy of the crown all on its own. Just reading it, I knew it took him three, maybe four months, to cull that amount of information, quotes and response to the issue. He then pulled it all together into one really stellar piece. Possibly one of the best pieces I've ever read. That's not easy. So maybe last year was not my best time to actually bet on it. 

But, of course, I made that bet anyway, based on the sheer volume of beer writing and videoing Polk does in one single day, every day of the year. Instagram craft beer posts, Twitter craft beer posts and daily video craft beer reviews!

Kathryn, aka Mrs Polkaroo, now has to cop a loftier
and referential approach to her hubby, Rob, on texts.
"Can you take out the garbage?" will now be "If it
will not sully your hands, could you please take out
the garbage, Mr Award Winner?" Not gonna last long.

And hey, just for shits and giggles, he'll write a blog or two every week. So I made that bet and then lost that bet, also losing my dignity (as Donny Vegas) and worst of all, a six-pack of fine craft beer.

That why I would only privately guarantee him he would be a winner this year. In previous years, I had been saying it on social media and I feared I had given him the Pro-Line Jinx. That simply means if you bet on the Maple Leafs to win their game, they will lose. Every time. Even if they're five-goal favourites. So I gave Polk only quiet, private assertions that he would take it this year.

People were jammed around Polk all night after he
won the award, including Sawdust City Brewmaster
Sam Corbeil. Just three weeks prior to the event, Sam
and the rest of the brew crew from Sawdust drove to
the famous Grotto owned by Polk and Kat with a pile
of beer just because. They ate, they drank, they swam.

So back to Monday's private message. He told me it looked like he'd lost again because he hadn't heard anything. Why, I asked back, when was the awards night? Thursday, he replied. Oh shit, I said. He was right. If you haven't heard anything three days prior to the event means, yeah, that's a no news is bad news scenario.

The next night, just two days before the Golden Tap Awards, I got another message from Polk. He asked if I could keep a secret - like pinky-swear, hand-on-your-heart, scratch-your-ass keep a secret. Sure, I replied. I mean, I don't really listen all that closely to people at all so technically, that makes me an excellent secret-keeper. About 10 seconds later, another message popped up. Just two words. It said:

I. WON.

I. Lost. My. Shit! I jumped up so quickly that my chair, even on roller wheels, hit the ground behind me hard. I'll paraphrase the rest of the convo in teenage girl.

Me: OMG. So happy!
Him: OMG. So humbled!
Me: OMG. I'm so going!
Him: OMG. Hitch a ride with us!

Jordan St James, the co-author of two editions of The Ontario
Craft Beer Guide with Robin LeBlanc, chats with Polk in the
aftermath of the Golden Tap and Ontario Brewing Awards. It
was a night where MANY people would be talking to Polk,
making it probably his best night ever. Dude is a social beast!

And so it was set. I would hitch a ride with Polk and the lovely Kathryn and off to Toronto we would go Thursday night. But folks, lemme tell you, even on the drive in, it was like he still had "do-I-deserve-the-win" doubts about it. At one point, on the drive to collect the award, he decided the award must be "Favourite" Beer Writer, not "Best." That's the only way he would have won, he surmised, because Ben is a better writer. (For the record, people, it's Best, not Favourite. Also, he knows that now.)

This is the same conversation we had last Summer when Polk was convinced he would never win as long as Ben was writing about beer. No, I pointed out even back then, they were very different writers. Both, in my old editor eyes, are equally excellent writers. They simply bring different strengths to the table. Ben's style is very hard-hitting, brash, take no prisoners. You almost feel like there's bits of blood around his desk when he's done. Polk's style is that easy-going, how-you-all-doing, this is what I love about Ontario Craft Beer friendly chat.

While, of course, Polk won Best Beer Writer, Erin, right,
won Best Newcomer Brewery at the Golden Tap Awards
just minutes before (or after - it's a blur) for Whitby's
outstanding Little Beasts Brewing. More on her and the
other winners in tomorrow's blog. But, man, great night.

Ben is that crazy-ass, bracing, naked jump into a ridiculously frigid lake at the cottage. Polk is the hot cup of cocoa, the cozy fireplace and warm blanket wrapped around you after that skinny-dip. Both great. Very different.

Okay, let's fast-forward and get to the damn event itself at The Berkeley Church in east Toronto. It's two floors of craft brewers, craft beer fans, food and great craft beer. Which bids just one question. Why is this not an ACTUAL church?? Hell, this godless heathen would go. I might never leave. No other church in the world would ever be able to make that claim.

So Polk, Kat and myself walk in, knowing he's won. But no one else knows. And I mean, it's packed with every big name in the Ontario Craft Beer Industry. Owners, brewers, employees, fans - everyone. No mascots, though. Ontario craft breweries don't make that kind of dough - you know, #MascotMoney. Budweiser has Clydesdales; craft brewers made actual beer that doesn't like Clydesdales' piss. It's a trade-off. I like our end better.

So, of course, with two ceremonies coming up - one for the Golden Tap Awards, the other for the Ontario Brewing Awards - we grab beers and mingle.

The lovely Kat snaps off a selfie with herself, Robin LeBlanc,
Jordan St John, the co-authors of The Ontario Craft Beer
Guide and, of course, her hubby, the Drunk Polkaroo. Says
Polk: "Three of my favourite people in one photo. I don't get
to hang out with Robin and Jordan much but I treasure when I
can." Having met both that night for the first time, I get that.
Also, Robin has mastered the skills of doing the party horns and
still holding the beer glass. Skills like that will stead you well!

It's not a huge place, though sizable enough for a slammin' party, so I was spotting people I know in the industry, left, right and... okay, that's odd... not one was centre. Statistical anomaly?

Saw John Romano, owner of Nickel Brook Brewing, Oshawa's coolest carpenter Josh Beaven, Mark Woitzik, owner of Brock St Brewing and my brother from another mother. And so many more. But you know what? That's tomorrow's blog. This here's about my dude, the Polk. Your 2018 Golden Tap Award's Best Beer Writer of the Year! Oh damn, gotta get to that part!!!! Pretend you didn't read that. It was still a secret. Or was it?

Kat confessed to me that she had spilled the beans to friends at Muddy York Brewing before the announcement. And I almost did to Jordan St John, co-author of two editions of The Ontario Craft Beer Guide with Robin LeBlanc. You see, I was wearing my Drunk Polkaroo-Donny Vegas Inception T-Shirt. Long story short, it's a cartoon of Drunk Polkaroo wearing a picture of me wearing a T-Shirt of the actual Polkaroo from Polka Dot Door. (If you actually want to know, it's in my last blog about artist David Buist. You can see the link top right.) So I explained the whole Polk-Donny Inception thing to Jordan and he asked, "Does that mean he...??" I nearly nodded yes but caught myself, shrugged and smiled, "If he does, it's because of this shirt!" After the whole T-Shirt explanation, Jordan simply said, "I really like the follow-through," meaning that it started as a silly Twitter suggestion and turned into an actual article of clothing.

The thing about Polk is that he's anything but a
beer snob. Instead, I would call him a Craft Beer
Enthusiast, you know, if you have to label things.
(You really don't have to! It's fine if you don't.)

So the Golden Tap winners are up first but this hall, man, it is jammed with brewers and brewery workers, mostly for the Ontario Brewing Awards, which follow immediately afterwards. Every table along the walls around the building has beers you can sample. Many also have food - which is good because if you work at a craft beer brewery, you want those food freebies.

Most of the brewery crews are from out-of-town and have been in Cabbagetown for the day. Some, several, most... none of the folks there are feeling any pain. So Golden Tap organizer Cass Enright, the man who started the event, as well as runs bartowel.com, a comprehensive beer-everything website, is up on stage and begins to read out winners.

(Let me quickly explain that while the Ontario Brewing Awards are judged by actual brewers, doing blind taste-testing, the Golden Tap is voted on by you, the beer-drinking public. It is basically The People's Choice Awards for beers and breweries in Ontario.)

I immediately get to the front. I have no idea when Polk's name is gonna be read into the microphone but I wanna be up close and personal when it is. So basically, I'm leaning on the stage, just waiting.

"Hey, Peter Bulut, owner of Great Lakes Brewing
in Etobicoke, how do you feeling about Drunk
Polkaroo's big win at the Golden Tap Awards?"
We'll take that thumbs-up as a positive thing.

Winners are announced. Each is heartily applauded. Winners come up, get their certificate and exit stage-left.

Now keep in mind, I have my back to the audience. Finally, Cass says, "... and the winner is Robert Arsenault, the Drunk Polkaroo." The place goes ballistic! This gynormous sound-wave bitch-slaps me from behind. The shock-wave makes my eyes bleed. Internal organs rupture. Equilibrium is gone. Okay, not really, but holy shit, it was loud! People went absolutely nuts.

He basically gets mobbed by friends and admirers when he comes off the stage and lemme tell you something else for free, he was the Belle of the Beer Ball for the remainder of the night. Now, most of these people know him up-close-and-personal after three years of his Polkapalooza Craft Brewery Road Trip Tours to, now, many dozens of breweries across Ontario. Some have stayed open late just to accommodate the arrival of Polk and Kat in their towns.

He has long been Craft Beer Royalty in Ontario... but now, he has the crown.

The first time Polkaroo and I met, photo courtesy of
my boy, David. I think the reason we became good
friends is that it looks like we are both dressed by
Stevie Wonder. Make that Steve Wonder on drugs.

Except for one thing. It hasn't actually been that long. I always thought we met back in 2014 or so. Not even close. As I checked back, my first contact with him was on March 31, 2016, just two and a half years ago. And I think he'd only been at this beer video thing for about a half year at that point.

That's a lot of progress in a remarkably short period of time. When I first saw his work, I loved it. Just this regular dude with a colourful shirt and a fedora on, sitting behind his basement bar, talking about beer. On the ride in, Polk cracked, "Three years ago, I was just a fat drunk. Now I'm a fat drunk with an award!" His perspective but certainly not mine. The weightiest think about him in my mind is his accomplishments, going from someone nobody knew to someone everybody truly loves and respects in such a short time. Weight? His words carry more of that than his body.

The bonus to a Joe Lunch-Pail like himself winning, he added, is that now other regular folk may start following suit and try their hand at beer writing. I hope he's right. Ontario's Craft Brewing Industry can use all the support it can get. But hey, Matt Allott, the owner of Manantler Craft Brewing in Bowmanville, caught Polk hitting the stage on video and it's worth the watch right here at: The King Gets His Crown! But Scooby Doo Gang, I'll be back tomorrow with that look at all the shenanigans at the 2018 OBAs tomorrow! Until then, I remain as always...