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| How cold is it in Canada? Well, the Calgary Zoo moved its penguins inside because the zoo-keepers were pretty worried it might be too cold for them! Frikkin freezing. |
But coming home, I want to tell you about one element of returning. The weather swing. I left conditions that were 15C (60F) and very sunny. When I landed in Hamilton, where you had to get off the plane on the tarmac and plod your way over to a building about a hundred yards away, it was minus-20C (-4F). With the wind chill factor, it was -33C (-27F). Now here's the thing about the wind chill. The Weather Twerps on TV will say, "It's minus-20 out there right but with the wind chill, it feels like -33..." But here's the get-real-dude thing to me. What the temperature feels like to the human body is bloody well what the actual damn temperature is!!!!
So to me, the weather had plunged 48 degrees Celsius in five hours! I was a most unhappy fellow. I said bad words. I actually asked the pilot if the plane was turning around and going back to Vegas. It wasn't. I said bad words to the pilot. About his mother.
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| In the background are some fuzzy, out-of- focus images of the Nickel Brook Mystery Pack. In this pack is a light stout, a session New England IPA, an actual full-strength New England IPA which is the bomb and another sour. You go online, vote for one and the winner becomes a brewery release. I won't influence you but stay in focus!!!! |
So how cold is it in Canada right now? Well, I'm in one of the most southern places in the country geographically so that'll give you an idea about the rest of it. It's a polar shit-storm out there. Recently in Calgary, their city's zoo brought their penguins indoors because it was too cold. For penguins! If you've never watched a science show, let me explain. Penguins are indigenous to the Antarctic where the average temperature is -49C (-56F). Even penguins can't handle Canada right now!
But you know what? This, too, is just Canada. We get mild Winters and nasty ones. This one is looking kinda fugly so far but on the other side of the coin, I haven't seen a mosquito or a black fly in quite some time. And this season also means the warming Winter beers... yes, they're coming up in the Best of 2017 - Part Two which includes only Ontario's best Porters, Stouts and much more. After we deal with this. The first category called...
The Best Mixed Pack: There were several really great ones to choose from in 2017 but the one that seemed to garner the most attention was the Nickel Brook Mystery Pack. The Burlington brewery cleverly created a mixed pack of unknown beers, labelled them A to D and included a low-ABV stout, session ale, New England IPA and a sour.
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| My niece, Nora, watched me pour the Forked River Full City Coffee Porter into this glass and was like, "WTF, Uncle Donny? I thought you would know how to pour a beer?" Seriously, this bad boy poured like a nitro-charged Guinness. But when it settled? Oh my, that's a tasty one. |
Best Porter: While several craft beer friends have told me I have to try their Red Coat Canadian Red Ale (a hopped-up version of my beloved red ales), Forked River (London) certainly knows their way around a great porter. Their Full City Coffee Porter, at a safe 5.5%, is coffee with a whiff of chocolate followed by coffee, coffee and coffee. I should be waking up with this! (Previous Winners: Innocente Charcoal Porter, Highlander Blacksmith Smoked Porter)
Best Flavoured Porter: I have split porters into two categories this year - flavoured and straight-up. The above was straight-up porter. Now we're looking at the funkified ones.
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| According to one of my Twitter friends, the label on this Tales From The Pumpkin Patch Porter actually glows in the dark. So our Ottawa friends certainly have their Halloween down with this little beauty. |
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| Unlike Big Rig's offering, the Lake of Bays Nightwatcher Oatmeal Stout does not glow in the dark. But I did note that no matter where I was in the room, the owl's eyes would follow me. So I just ended up talking to the can. |
Best Stout: Okay, much like the porters, I will be dividing the stouts into two categories as well because a single winner is not enough. And this year, the straight-up stout I enjoyed the most was the Lake of Bays (Baysville) Nightwatcher Oatmeal Stout. Brewed at a very accessible 4.4%, this beer was actually designed by brewery owner Darren Smith as a surprise for his wife after she gave birth to their son last Winter. So a nice little back-story there. The chocolate malts give this a much richer flavour than the low-ABV would indicate - toasty, roasty, malty and smooth for those chilly Baysville Winter nights. (Previous Winners: Stonehammer Coffee Oatmeal Stout, Stone City Ales Ships In The Night Oatmeal Stout)
Best Flavoured Stout: Every once in a while, I am beckoned online through social media and this time was no different. I jokingly tagged our Muskoka Brewing sales rep Vince Cusack (who drives the wicked-cool Mad Tom Mobile) in a picture, pouring from a "cumbersome" 473-ml (16 oz) can after the brewery announced it was putting its core line-up into 355-ml (12 oz) cans.
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| You'll notice that even a 473-ml can will only two-thirds fill the magnificent Muskoka Brewery glass that Barrie Beer Bro Hago gifted me last year. The glass is a beast! |
Best Imperial Stout: It's interesting because those who live closer to the Grand River Brewery in Cambridge have been fans for years but I see them often debating whether or not the Russian Gun Imperial Stout has lost a step or two in time. I do know that during its lifespan, it has been 9%, 8.5% and then the 8% one I enjoyed. To be honest, I bought it because I thought the label was really cool and like many beers, there's a story behind that. The Russian gun is the cannon on the label and the actual cannon was awarded to the Township of Galt within what is now Cambridge. It was thanks for the town's support of the British troops during the Crimean War that ended in 1856.
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| Way back in the day, the Russian Gun shot off actual cannonballs on Victoria Day in Canada. Until one year, there was a backfire and two men were instantly killed. This beer pays tribute to that sad event, forever engraved in Galt history. |
Best Flavoured Imperial Stout: When I finally met long-time Twitter chat buddy Highlander Brew Co. brewmaster Brian Wilson last Spring, the South River brewery has just released two specialty beers - their very floral Spring Ale and their heavy-duty Winter Imperial Stout. The latter is what I'm showcasing here. Brian told me to imagine a sleigh ride through the snowy fields and then coming home to warm up with Winter, "a comfort beer." I explained that I take more comfort not being in a damn sleigh in the harsh elements of Winter but at the same time, I could pretend I did before having some. It's pricey at $20 a bottle but he really threw a lot into this 10% boozy bastard. There was cinnamon, orange rind nicely round out by a nutty, sweet, chocolate finish. I bought two more and one is still stored here.
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| While I believe lactose steals away from an IPA, it absolutely adds a new dimension to a stout such as Merit's Neapolitan Milkshake Stout. I loved this one! |
Best Milkshake Beer: Unlike many, I was not a fan of the latest trend - Milkshake IPAs. I found the lactose feel in the beer and, of course, again in my big stupid mouth far too disconcerting. Only open for a few months at this point, Merit Brewing (Hamilton) had released their Breakfast Fruit Loops Milkshake IPA late in the Summer and one day, Beer Bro Glenn and I met Mr and Mrs Polkaroo at the brewery. The Milkshake IPA was the first I had tried (it was a hectic Summer) while both the Polks and Glenn were old pros at this point. I suspect the look on my face gave away my first impression of the style. I didn't like it. (Have tried two more since - no change.) However, on a whim, as we were leaving, among the Merit beers I did take was their Neapolitan Milkshake Stout, thinking, well, lessee what lactose does in a heavy beer. I certainly got my answer and it adds a thickness to an already-rich style. Beautiful tinges of chocolate and vanilla (no discernible strawberry) in this 5% offering. I now heartily endorse the use of lactose in stouts (and only stouts) as I really enjoyed this one.
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| You don't hear me sing a lot of praises about fruit beers but when one stands out as exemplary, well, they get the kudos. That was an outstanding job by the gang at Lake of the Woods Brewing in Kenora. Tart, tangy and tasty. |
Best Fruit Beer: This is honestly a category I never thought I'd ever add to my little "Best of" lists but someone made a great one before last year's "Best Of" list so... When it arrived in the Northern Ontario Brewers Alliance Mix-Six, the Lake of the Woods (Kenora) Forgotten Lake Blueberry Ale generated some curious buzz on Twitter between me and a handful of buddies. So much so that eventually brewery owner Taras Manzie jumped in and explained to us how the beer was created. All natural blueberries - no fake syrups or crap - went into the mix, leaving the fruit nuanced rather than overpowering. (One day, if you pump some beers into Barrie Beer Bro Hago and myself, you can ask us about a mango beer experience we had once that still makes our blood freeze.) At 7.1%, this was, by far, the highest ABV in that Mix-Six and while all six were good, the one I was the most leery about at the beginning - this blueberry ale - ended up being to my mind the best of the bunch. Because that's how life works sometimes. And it's also why it's foolhardy to dismiss a style out-of-hand. You know, like I have with pumpkin ales and milkshake IPAs. (Previous Winner: Wellington Rhubarb Saison)
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| Much to my surprise, the story behind this Sleeping Giant beer is a sad one as it's a tribute to a local lady, Jeannine Ross-Armstrong, who was slain by her own brother back in 2013. So $1 from every bottle goes to an education bursary in her name. She was only 38 years old and very much loved by her community. |
Best Specialty Ale: Ever heard of a Finnish Sahti Style IPA? No? Well, that's okay because the style has never heard of you, either! Okay, I'll be honest. When my sweet Beer Store daughter Sassy Cassie gifted me with a Sleeping Giant (Thunder Bay) The Camperino Finnish Sahti Style IPA, I had no idea what that was. It would take more than a bit of research to put the puzzle pieces together for this one. But I think I have. The Finnish Sahti Style is one of the oldest styles of brewing that dates back to Finland in the 1500s. Usually closer to a German Hefeweizen in style, back in the old days, peasants would mash grain - usually, oats, barley or rye - and strain them through juniper leaves. At that point, wild yeast became part of the mix and it was left to the juniper, not hops, to balance the flavour profile. Now granted, that's not how things are usually done now - 500 years later - but in this beer, the brewery still decided to use local juniper branches in the mix, as well as hops and other key ingredients.
But there's more to this specific beer and one element is quite heart-breaking. A local Thunder Bay resident, Jeannine Ross-Armstrong, had flown to Toronto in 2013 to collect her troubled brother, Jonathon, and bring him home to both his family and doctors.
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| Jeannine Ross-Armstrong and her husband Robin posed with their big old-school "Camperino," a half-car, half- camper hybrid. The beer was named after their vehicle to honour her memory and raises money for a bursary towards education. One dollar from every sale goes to it. |
Okay, that's it for today (as I just checked the ungodly length of this one) but I'll be back with the Best Sour, the Best Belgian, the Best Collaborations, the Best Craft Beer Exec, a couple of powerhouses from the East Coast, which brewery exemplified The Spirit of Craft Beer and, of course, the Beer of the Year! But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...
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