A new look up there at Barnstormer

Barnstormer Betty, top picture, has been swapped
out for a purely aviational logo, bottom, at Barrie's
Barnstormer Brewing and Distilling Company. It's
a move that was a long time coming, according to
Brad Ariss, their creative director. Digging the look

The beauty of talking to Brad Ariss, the creative director of Barnstormer Brewing and Distilling Company up in Barrie, is that even the shortest of conversations will glean a gem or two of very cool information. (And never forget, people, knowledge is power... uncontrollable raging power that will unravel the fabric of the very Universe and lay waste to all who oppose you!!!! Or maybe you'll just learn about beer. It could go either way, really. Probably more towards the second one.)

But a longer conversation with Brad is a veritable certified gold-mine, laden with so many shiny nuggets that you're not sure where to swing the pick first. (That's prospector land-minin' talk right thar...)

Now Brad was recently assigned to set up a more streamlined, workable sales structure for his beer-loving, aviation fly-boys and fly-ladies up there and once doing so, he has been slowly sliding back towards two other responsibilities - the lesser being their voice on all social media and the larger being, well, that whole creative direction thing.

As you are about to see, Brad has been a busy (what's the proper aviation term?) wing-nut these days. And if you pay as close attention as most of us craft lovers do to Ontario breweries, you've perhaps already noticed one thing.

Barnstormer Betty, their 1940s style pin-up girl logo, is gone. Oh sure, you'll still see her on some cans here and there as the new designs are slowly phased in but soon that will be like, well, the 1940s itself - history!

Now to be clear, dealing with the logo, thought by some to be a sexist throw-back of yesteryear, was an immediate priority for Brad and the brewery as you want your product, especially craft beer, to be as gender inclusive as possible. Looking past the obvious negative social ramifications, my thinking is that's just plain smart business.

Ladies and gentlemen, a sneak peek at the new
label for Barnstormer's signature IPA, Flight
Delay. While the basic design is based on 1960s
pop art, that of a traveler slightly panicked as
she scans the departure board, the base colours
will change to match that month's fruit tweak
to the renowned IPA. (Easy now - the regular
one will still be available year-round. Breathe!!)

Half the people you encounter at a Craft Beer Festival or relaxing in craft breweries are women. You want to potentially alienate half your clientele with outdated imagery, hey, you go nuts. The local Chamber of Commerce won't be knocking on your door with any Job Well Done Award anytime soon.

And Brad was more than happy to redesign it. "It is, indeed, a full logo change. I've been wanting this for a while. I appreciate what the brewery had in mind with a pin-up girl. It made perfect sense for the brand but I wanted to focus on aviation (the brewery theme) - just in a more artistic way."

So Barnstormer Betty is gone for good, Brad? "Yeah, bye bye Betty. I think it's time." After more than four years, Betty has left the plane, walked across the tarmac and disappeared forever into the hangar.

But because we're talking Brad here, it's a lot more than a logo change. The brewery, which first opened in late 2014 with the name Barnstormer Brewing and Pizzeria (seriously, I love that), is about to relaunch, rebrand and one of the first on the Re-Do List is their customer favourite Flight Delay IPA.

But a quick aside or two. First, that pizzeria thing. When they opened, they quickly became renowned for their delicious stone-fired personal pizzas. Their ranking on their Facebook page is 4.7 out of 5 Stars. That's virtually a perfect score for a restaurant.

A new design by Brad for Barnstormer's Absolute Altitude Saison, including
the new logo. I went extra-large with this one because I loved the design, the
colour shift from top to bottom and the modern imagery. I tell you, if this is a
taste of what's in store from the brewery, we are in for a colourful, wild ride.

No one ever scores a perfect five because customers can be (what's the phrase again?) whiny keyboard warrior bitch-boys. To get the equivalent of a 94% in the customer service industry is phenomenal. That speaks volumes to the food, the ambiance, the beer selection and most especially, the servers. So kudos to the brewery airline crew for that.

But the second is a story that still cracks me up. One of my first dealings with Barnstormer (and thus Brad) online was regarding a Twitter issue. Every time, I mentioned Flight Delay on Twitter, it triggered some crazy nanobot that instantly sent me about five responses from different "people" all saying the same thing. "Was your flight delayed? You may be eligible for a refund from the airline if you go to this link!" That I was talking about a beer in a glass taking off from the coaster and landing in my mouth successfully - on time, every time - seemed to elude the little cyber nanobots, programmed only to see the words "flight delay." I'm not sure how Brad resolved the issue with Twitter - only that he did - but some day I will ask him. I won't even begin to understand the answer but I'll nod sagely and have a beer in my hand so it's all cool.

Snapd Barrie was at Barnstormer in the Summer of
2016 to get this shot of the crew opening their "Hop
Garden Patio." That's Brad on the left, super-brewer
Jeff Woodworth in the middle and Dustin Norlund,
who owns the whole insane asylum on the right. And
yes, I've been there and there are hop vines growing
on the trellis framework around the patio. Very cool.

Okay, back to the rebranding. I veer off course at times but hey, many pilots do. It's in our blood. Just ask brewery owner-founder Dustin Norlund. The dude once built a plane. From scratch. With his damn hands. Frikkin Beast Mode stuff right there.

Turns out Brad is pretty damn happy with the rebranding thus far although truly, it has only just begun. When he fired through some of the new artwork, I was pretty impressed and told him so.

"Thanks, man," he responded. "This is the first work I've done that I'm really happy with."

With Flight Delay IPA, it's a core design - a 1960s Pop Art style with a traveler looking at a Departure Board at an airport and she's doing what we all do. Panicking to see when the flight leaves.

But Head Brewer Jeff Woodworth has plans for Flight Delay (and others) this year and he plans to tweak the brewery classic with a different flavour profile each month. So Brad and a designer buddy created a can that could stay the same but swap in new colours each month to represent the new fruit or spice additions to the recipe. Sounds like the designer is ready for it. "We're doing a twist with Flight Delay every month this year. It's a program I want to keep up."

Wait, is that Flight Delay IPA with Pineapple
and Jalapeno? Can someone go check on Jeff
Woodworth and make sure everything's okay
at home? Crazy brewers and their concoctions.

And here, my friends, is the designer's mind at work. (Enter with caution.) "I wanted a black and white can with strong hits of colour across it. The hard part was getting the graphics and lay-out. Now that it's done, I just need to change a few colours and maybe add a fruit icon."

So he's set with the radical Flight Delay revamp, then? Oh yeah, he noted, "Good for eternity now." So new colour each month, new look each time, I asked? "Essentially, yes. It keeps things easy on my end and makes the cans collectible."

But I'll tell you something for free. Just a few weeks ago on Twitter, my video-blogging pal, Drunk Polkaroo, was talking with some frustration about an objectionable beer can he had seen in the LCBO. Craft beer, too. Likely a female form in the art. I didn't ask  but let's face it, it's a damn good guess. So I just kinda said to him that it seemed that quietly, the label objectification was slowly disappearing. No doubt, if you're a woman, there's still a long ways to go but the footprints at least seem to be aimed in the right direction. Two days later, I noticed Barnstormer's rebranding for the first time and realized, well, guys like Brad are certainly fighting the good fight. It seems we all want a Craft Beer World that's just about good craft beer. And we want an inclusive one because, well, the beer is really good stuff. And in this case, you get some wicked art out of it!! Okay, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

Leave It To Beaven

That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight. Losing my
religion. No, wait, that's me on the left while my Carpenter
Bro Josh is on the right and here we are, enjoying some tasty
product at Little Beasts Brewing in Whitby on December 9th.

This is a story about my young Oshawa friend, Josh Beaven (hence the punny and absolutely hilarious headline - I'll give you a second to catch your breath), the joys of Beer Mail and a most epic battle between myself and a Canada Post SuperBox.

Now, I've known Josh for quite a while now as we first met on... *checks notes*... December 9th, 2017. So virtually a lifetime ago, right?

We met during the epic (and I would hasten to add, arrest-free) Whitby Craft Brewery Invasion of 2017 whereby seven of us jammed ourselves into a big, white stretch limousine and descended on four hapless, helpless craft breweries scattered throughout Whitby. (Oddly, they embraced us, which may offer empirical proof that craft breweries very much enjoy testing their own products.)

Now the week leading up to the Brewery Invasion was a bit of a shit-show for Josh. His work-truck broke down and what was supposed to be an already-pricey $700 repair bill nearly doubled to $1,200-plus.

After building a hugely-popular Brock Street Brewing pop-up store at
the Oshawa Centre shopping mall for the Christmas crowds, Josh and
his squad dismantled it (which is a shame because I wanted to see it) and
then built this Brock Street stand at the Whitby Curling Club for the
2018 Ontario Scotties Tournament of Hearts. He took over Sheet #1 at
the club and made it into a stand-alone bar for the participants. Nice!
And perhaps this is just a false rumour but I hear curlers like to drink.

While his business, Josh's Custom Carpentry, is just starting to take off in the Durham Region, it was a pre-Christmas financial kick in the nards that he (indeed, any of us) could have happily done without. I dare say no one was looking forward to our little excursion quite as much as Josh, who needed a stressfree, absolutely-brain-dead day of fun, great craft beer and debauchery. (This is where I shine, people. The afore-mentioned arrest-free part is just a happy coincidence. I can't guarantee that twice.)

So anyway, Josh has done considerable work for his and my favourite Whitby brewery, Brock Street Brewing, including a pop-up store at the Oshawa Centre shopping over Christmas (think of it as Day-Care for Husbands) and then another pop-up bar at the Whitby Curling Club this month for participants in the 2018 Ontario Scotties Tournament of Hearts, one of the Province's best-known curling bonspiels.

As you can see, Josh had written instructions on my Beer
Mail not to let it drop below a certain temperature. The
one problem with that was pointed out to me by a dear
friend at Canada Post, Shona, who explained that due to
automation, hand-written instruments do not scan into
the system but a "Hold For Pick-Up" sticker would work.

But it was when I was in Las Vegas over New Years Eve that I got a message from Josh, asking for my mailing address because he wanted to send me some "Welcome Back to Canada" Beer Mail. He doesn't know I'm in the Witness Relocation Program so I was like hell yeah, here's my address and Godspeed. Just don't tell anyone.

So he sent his package off (I'll show you the swag below) and tracked it until it arrived in Oakville. Once here, he alerted me that The Eagle Had Landed. Sweet. However, it was at this point that a new fight was about to begin, featuring myself versus my Canada Post SuperBox. Since it was averaging minus-10C and even colder at the time, my key couldn't open the frozen lock on my box. That lead to an hour on the phone with Canada Post.

The two beers on the left survived the Winter elements, the two on the
right, not so much as they froze and popped the cans. However, it's the
centre-piece that's the jewel here as the Brock Street glass landed safely.

They gamely sent a guy out and de-iced my lock the following day. Once I got into my box, there was a separate key for the larger parcel box at the bottom. But it was... yes, frozen shut. At this point, I was referring very loudly to my SuperBox by another word that begins with "S". A very "shitty" word, so to speak. So I did what any rational, thinking Canadian would do. I went home, got vice-grips and rubber gloves. I decided if the key broke off in the parcel box, well, that's not mine to fix.

Despite promising myself that I would come home
from the Whitby Craft Brewery Invasion with a glass
from each brewery, I somehow forgot Brock Street,
our very first stop. I did make it home with eight of
their taster glasses, though. Clearly, the same thing
happened to Barrie Beer Bro Hago, who posted this
picture of a taster, joking about how huge the can was!

Canadians know all-too-well that feeling when you try to open your car door on a frigid Winter day and there's resistance. No joke - three weeks ago, a guy walked into my Beer Store, holding his door handle as it had snapped off in his hands. I used a wooden ruler to pry the door seal that night when I was opening mine. (Worked like a charm.)

But the rubber gloves and vice-grips did the trick as with some elbow grease, the parcel box eventually popped open with no damage to the key. Now I had a very frigid package that I left on a boot-tray as I was on my way to work. That turned out to be a good call as two of the four beers in the package had frozen and popped. When I got home, it was a bit of a soggy mess.

However, when I opened it that night, I found two Brock Street Brewing Amber Ales, two of their Porters and the shiny gem of the package, a proper Brock Street pint glass. One each of the two styles had frozen and popped while the other two, though very chilled, were fine.

But I wondered aloud on Facebook, why would Canada Post put a package clearly marked as "Do Not Freeze" into a SuperBox fully exposed to the Winter elements, rather than hold it for parcel pick-up. I got my answer very quickly and if you send friends "Beer Mail", you may wanna pay attention.

Here's a Canada Post SuperBox similar to mine. The big
boxes on the bottom are where parcels are now stored as
they leave a separate key in your smaller box to open it.

My friend, Shona, who I've known since high school, has worked for Canada Post for, well, decades now, including stints of running both the Consumer Relations and Business Technical Support departments... so she knows her workplace inside-out. And she told me, with automation, that things had changed over the years. Since packages are scanned through the automated system these days, the sender would have needed to have the post office put a "Hold For Pick-Up" sticker (with its specific coding) on the box as handwritten instructions don't scan into the individual carrier's Personal Data Terminal. "(Hand-written instructions) went out decades ago," she told me. "It's a different postal world than when we were kids!" 

So there you go, Beer Mailing People. If you are going to send Beer Mail and you have concerns that it may languish in a SuperBox or in someone's large-enough mailbox in the harsh Winter elements outdoors, get that specific "Hold For Pick-Up" sticker when you're posting it from your local Canada Post kiosk. Remember, the life you save could be a beer's. Does it get more important than that?

It was a Cream Ale Showdown at Donny's Bar and Grill on my day off as
I decided to pit three of the Province's best against each other. However,
the breweries involved all wanted to know who came out on top. What
was meant as a fun little day for me got competitive. The trouble I cause.

I think not. Well, maybe a heart being shipping to a hospital for an emergency transplant but they tend not to send those through the post office.

Well, once again, it seems I caused something of a Tempest In A Beer Mug. I had Monday off and perusing my beer fridge, I found I had three different Cream Ales in there - Muskoka Brewing's, Anderson Craft Ales and my hometown homeys Cameron's Brewing. So I posted a picture of the three and said words to the effect of "Who will win?" before concluding, "Hey, I will win!" But the three breweries all jumped onto the tweet and, in the spirit of Ontario craft beers with a dash of competitiveness, wanted to know who had actually won!!

While Anderson Craft Ales was quick to point out its
silver medal win for their Cream Ale at last year's
Canadian Brewing Awards, I told them the one they
HAD to enter this year was their Brown Ale. It is not
a style I enjoy often but this version was top-notch!!!

Anderson Craft Ales, out of London, fired the first shot across the bow, saying, "We eagerly await your decision! Although we know what the judges at last year's Canadian Brewing Awards thought." Last year at the awards, the relatively-new Anderson took the silver medal for their Cream Ale while the established 20-year-old Cameron's was right behind with their's for the bronze. However, in 2016, Muskoka Cream Ale (also 20-plus years old) took the silver at the World Beer Championships. So all three are recent award-winning brews. Once again, no matter which I picked, I still believe the real winner here was me. But they wanted something a little more substantive from me and the contest - an actual winner.

Cameron's played their cards close to their chest by adding, "Might be a tight race." But Muskoka, out of Bracebridge, true to form, was ready to throw down, declaring "Loser(s) have to buy a six-pack for the (winning) Brewery?" I was between a rock and a hard place now. I had to pick one of the three.

When the boys at Bell City Brewing
both heard I had just returned from
Anderson Craft Ales an hour prior,
they rhapsodized over the brewery's
IPA. Since I had plenty, I went out to the
car and grabbed them some on the spot.

So I tried all three in alphabetical order - Anderson, Cameron's and finally Muskoka. The 4.8% Anderson Cream Ale had some nice floral notes and a hint of apple on the nose and as the style does, went down very smoothly

The Cameron's Cosmic Cream Ale at 5% is very similar, a whiff of fruit and floral, again pouring down very smoothly.

But at the risk of alienating the first two (Honestly, I love you both - truly, purely, deeply, nobly), it was the 5% Muskoka Cream Ale that had a touch more punch to me. It had the same floral notes with some light caramel on the tongue but I think their light use of Summit, Cascade and Amarillo hops gave it the faintest bitterness and boldness on the back end.

Now, of course, I would never expect anyone to pay up on a bet that was adjudicated by someone as sketchy as me so how you three settle your score here is up to you. However, I do have consolation prizes for the first two brewers!!

Anderson Craft Ales, I had stopped in at your fine establishment last Summer and was happily told by your clerk, Kirk, to head upstairs and really check the place out. So I did and hey, what an awesome set-up! So, I had a great little visit. But I was on my way home to Burlington, first on Highway 401 and then the 403 when I decided to stop in at Bell City Brewing in Brantford. You have to cut off the 403 onto Wayne Gretzky Parkway to get to Bell City on Woodyatt Drive.

Head brewer Sebastian MacIntosh is still at Redline Brewhouse in
Barrie, just as he has been there with them from the beginning. But a
recent ad on Twitter indicated they were looking for a brand new head
brewer. A quick chat with Sebastian confirmed that he is not leaving
until the new brewer is all set up and ready to rock Redline's recipes.

What a lot of drivers don't realize is that the Ontario Highway Traffic Act clearly states that you have to put your right hand on your heart when pulling off at Wayne Gretzky Parkway in deference to The Great One. It's probably caused a few accidents.

So when I popped into Bell City and was making idle chit-chat with the two guys at the front, I mentioned I had just come from Anderson. Instantly, the Bell City boys got into how much they loved your Anderson IPA.

Hearing that, I went out to my car and returned with a couple for the guys because, well, sharing is caring... or some other hackneyed trite kumbaya clique. So I did my good deed for the day and Anderson Craft Ales, your role was obviously critical in that. So there's your consolation prize right there - you are adored and respected by breweries afar.

And Cameron's Brewing, your consolation prize is, well, me. Now I know that sounds like you got the totally sucky end of the stick but hear me out. I moved from Burlington to Oakville last Autumn, landing not two minutes from your fine establishment. Since I left, my favourite craft beer bar, Rib Eye Jack's Ale House, was shut down and my craft brewery Nickel Brook is moving to the Niagara area in the near future.

It wasn't until I recently visited to Las Vegas that I
discovered what a key role rice plays in the brewing
process. So much so that even yeast doesn't make the
cut anymore. That Bud Light... it's cutting edge stuff.

I'm not trying to draw a connection between my presence and the viability of local craft beer outlets but, you know, I'm tellin' ya what just happened in Burlington since my departure. As odd as it seems, it may be safer to have me nearby.

And on a final note, it was with some surprise I noticed on Twitter that Redline Brewhouse, one of my absolute favourite Barrie stop-overs, had posted a job opening. Okay, that's not unusual but when I clicked on the link, it was for a new Head Brewer. Wait... whuuuuuu? You see, since they opened a few years back, Sebastian MacIntosh, a Niagara Brewing College grad, has been their Head Brewer. He created my absolute favourite pale ale, Clutch, another winner with their Double Clutch Double IPA and top-notch collaborations such as the Going Going Back Back To Cali Cali IPA with Cameron's or the hilarious but actually tasty Lil Donkey Burrito Pale Ale with Rainhard Brewing. While Sebastian told me privately he's keeping the reasons for his departure to himself for now, he also assured me that he was not leaving until he helped Redline find a replacement and got him or her properly trained in all things Redline. I let him know I was bummed about it all and he duly thanked me for enjoying their beer so much and added that additional exposure to the ad could certainly be beneficial. So if you wanna become a Barrie Brewing God or Goddess, here's the link: Seeking Brewing God or Goddess And Seb, no matter where you land, you're my Notorious B.I.G, brother! But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

The Maple Leafs, the Golden Knights and beer

Approaching the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas for
the BIG GAME! A brand new arena with all the
bells and whistles. And my seat turned out to be a
little more upscale than I had originally suspected.

Lessee now, why did I go to Las Vegas for New Years Eve in the first place? I know there was a reason... Lemme think, lemme think...

Oh right, my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs were playing their first-ever game against the Golden Knights in Sin City on January 31st. See, I knew I was there for more than craft beer. I was also there for hockey. Typical Canadian - hockey and beer.

And I certainly wasn't the only one. With the game starting at 12:30 pm (3:30 pm Toronto time), there was tons of time to wander the strip in the morning. Along there, I saw dozens and dozens of Leafs jerseys. At one point, I posted on Facebook, "I've seen more than 50 Leafs jerseys on the strip this morning. I love it when a town comes together like this." I should have waited another hour. It was closer to 300 Leafs jerseys by the time I got back to my home away from home, Excalibur Hotel and Casino a half hour before the game. The T-Mobile Arena was literally across the street. And there were jersey-wearing Leafs fans everywhere all the way into the game, myself included.

While it's actually easier to get a ticket to a Leafs game in Vegas than it is in Toronto, there was the matter of price.

My seat pal, Al, holds up my $15 Hop Knot IPA made by Four Peaks
Brewing (Tempe, Arizona) which is 6.7% and thus the perfect hockey
beer. Al and his wife Jean are life-long Golden Knight fans... so that's a
half season so far. The couple was a rarity - actual Las Vegas residents.

The sucker cost me $325 and that was the American price-tag so closer to $400 Canadian. Because I want to go so badly, I coughed up the cash but was still curious as to why it was so high. I soon found out.

I was in box seating. I walked in and there was a bar, a washroom about 25 feet away and even a small beer and sandwich kiosk. My seat was a movable, cushioned fold-out right on the railing between the upper and lower tier seating. To one side of me were Vegas residents, Al and Jean, season ticket holders and on the other side, a Toronto family with their young son in a wheelchair. So the box seating was all-access. And damn convenient when you needed the can during a stoppage in play.

I walked by the Beerhaus brewpub on my way
into the T-Mobile Arena but never actually
made it inside. That situation will be rectified
when I return in the Summer. Or even earlier.

And while many friends back home exhorted me to try and get on camera, there was good reason why I would never appear. On the other side of the Toronto family were the banks of TV cameras, all aimed at the rest of the arena and the ice. If one had swung way around, he could have got a close-up of my nose and that's about it. No hockey fan needs to see that.

Okay, first the game summary, followed by the beer summary. The Golden Knights made short work of us, winning 6-3. Sophomore superstar Auston Matthews potted a pair for us but was outdone by Vegas' William Karlsson who brought the New Years Eve party early to Sin City by scoring the team's first hat-trick in franchise history. But as fellow Leaf fan, Beer Bro Glenn said optimistically afterwards, "Hey, at least you got to see a nine goal game!" As for the Jersey Score, well, that was closer to even but I'd say there were slightly more Golden Knight jerseys than Leaf jerseys in the stands. The fans have really embraced this team down there which as a hockey fan makes me happy, as well as disproves all those nattering nay-sayers who said the Sin City was no place for an NHL team. Armchair idiots, all of them.

Which brings me to the Beer Summary. At $15 a pop, I only had a couple but the craft beer options at the new arena were huge!

So, who are you guys cheering for? A couple of Leaf
fanatics went all out with the face-painting and team
appropriate fashions in Las Vegas for the big game.

My quest for Nevada-Only Craft Beers was a little stymied as I didn't have a chance to search out the whole arena and frankly, I wasn't too keen on leaving the comforts of my box seating, except at intermissions when we all flooded out to a humongous multi-tiered balcony for smokes.

First on deck was the Wolf Pup Session IPA made by Grand Road Brewing in Los Angeles. Sweet Mother of Moses, (I've never read the Bible so I need help with her name) was this a tasty one. They didn't hold back on the hops as this is goosed with Cascade, Simcoe, Chinook, Equinox, Mosaic and Galaxy - that's a lotta hops for a wee little wolf pup. At just 4.5% with a hefty 50 IBUs (international bitterness units), it's all tropical fruit and citrus. A fantastic sessioner!

Number Two was Hop Knot IPA from the good folks at Four Peaks Brewing in Tempe, Arizona because after you open with a session beer, you gotta step up your game. At a stronger 6.7% but low-end 47 IBUs, this, like the Sin City IPA, was more of a hybrid British-west coast brew. But I always have time for those. Tons of grapefruit and orange on the nose, this had a malty, bready back-end, giving it tons of balance. Quite liked this one.

Sometimes in Las Vegas, you gotta go old school and in
this case, that meant the always-reliable Stone IPA,
coupled with a classic Lynda Carter Wonder Woman
slot machine. I put in $20, cashed out $37. Not a huge
win but then again, I'm not much of a gambler either. 

But just before the game, I went to the check-out at Excalibur (check-out time was noon) because I was due to fly out at 12:15 am, just after New Years Eve celebration to head home. The lady at the counter looked at me quizzically and said, "You have this room booked for tonight, as well." Well, hold the phone, then. I sped up to my room, hit the laptop and found a cheapie 9 pm flight on WestJet to Hamilton for January 1st. I booked it. Yeah, I burned myself for my Air Canada return flight (no refunds) but who cares? I was staying in Vegas for New Years Eve! Time to celebrate! (The best thing about traveling solo? Spontaneous but often costly and foolhardy decisions! My specialty!)

But that also meant another 24 hours of hunting down the best Nevada craft beers! And I knew my first stop since moderation in all things beer was now off-the-gaming-table for the day. That would be Pour 24 at the New York New York Hotel and Casino and my old bartending buddy, Anthony. We'd been friends for two whole days now so, hey, we were tight. Also, never mind the slots or the Poker tables. You want a for-sure wager pay-out every time in Vegas? Hand the bartender a $20 bill and you get a beer and change back! Guaranteed winner.

Please note the lovely amber colour of the Sin City IPA
with the back-drop of the Paris Hotel and Casino. It's a
majestic view! The beer, I mean. Not the wee Eiffel Tower.

So now it was time to try the Hop Ride IPA from Tenaya Creek Brewing in Vegas. The brewery is nowhere near the strip but off in the desert where there's rattlesnakes and shit. They first opened in 1999 (that's practically geriatric in the craft beer community) as a brewery-restaurant but then switched to just beer. They moved to a new location, still near rattlesnakes, in 2015 and the rest is history. Because it happened before today. Thus, it's history. And the Hop Ride IPA? The 7.2%, 70 IBU ale has Cascade hops for that floral aroma with some Summit and Magnum hops giving it a fruit and pine back-end. Very nice Nevadian brew!

With a second visit to the Yard House in the shop-filled alley beside The LINQ Hotel and Casino, I decided a half-yard of Bad Beat Brewing (Henderson, Nevada - a bit of a craft beer hotspot in the State) Hoppy Times IPA was definitely in order. While my new favourite craft beer bar in Vegas with 146 taps has what appears to be a 7.5% and under limit on what goes into a 32-ounce (about a litre) half-yard glass, meaning no Imperial or Double IPAs, Bad Beat Hoppy Times just made the cut at 7.2% and roughly 80 IBUs.

Aren't hotel bathroom photos just the sexiest, he asked very much
tongue in cheek? Okay, not a great shot but one fantastic beer as
Belching Beaver, out of San Diego, has seen its Peanut Butter Milk
Stout become its number-one seller. Small wonder. It's delicious!!

This one is not 3D but rather 3C as Cascade, Chinook and Citra hops combine for floral nose with a wonderful citrus and pine on the tongue. I tell you, every IPA machine on this Vegas trip was hitting the jackpot big-time with this hophead.

Okay, time for my Favourite Las Vegas Beer now. Except it wasn't from Nevada and very much to my surprise, it wasn't even an IPA or an Imperial IPA. No, it was a stout. But this was no normal stout. Turns out there's a San Diego place called Belching Beaver Brewery, which, as a Canadian, makes me think of home because it's our national animal. (I actually had to Google that because I thought it might be the moose.) Also as beer lovers, we are prone to belching. Well, Belching Beaver makes this Peanut Butter Milk Stout. I know this because I was told by a server at another establishment up that alley-way to get my stank-ass Canadian butt to the Yard House so I could try this stout.

Our good friends at the Yard House craft beer bar in
Las Vegas are facing a bit of a dilemma regarding
Super Bowl Sunday. It turns out they can not use
either "Super Bowl" or "Super Sunday" in their ads,
due to NFL mumbo-jumbo reasons. Can you help?

Once there, a nearby patron, Craft Beer Carolyn, asked me if I'd had the peanut butter stout yet. When I replied that no, with the IPAs on their menu, I was unlikely to, she told me exactly where to get a bottle on the Vegas Strip and strongly (menacingly, even) advised that I do so. So I did so. Turns out this stout is the brewery's biggest seller. Small wonder. As smooth as a politician making false promises, this 5.3%, 30 IBU stout was a silky taste of peanuts, coffee and chocolate. Frankly, it might be one of the best flavoured stouts I've ever enjoyed. Next time, a half-yard at the Yard House, for sure.

And since we're already there, let's finish off our look at Vegas with my friends at the Yard House. They recently took to Twitter, asking for help getting alternate names for their Super Bowl Party. At first, I assumed it was because they didn't serve Budweiser, the official beer of the NFL. Nope, they told me, the NFL does not allow bars to use either "Super Bowl" or "Super Sunday" in their ads, due to the copyright warning you hear 227 times during any NFL game. So they asked their Twitter followers to give them a hand with a party name. So far, one of the better ones they have is my suggestion of "The Only NFL Game In February" Which is true... but oh-so-lame. Follow them @YardHouse and help my favourite Vegas craft beer bar come up with a better name, I beg of you. Tell 'em Donny from Canada sent ya. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...

What happens in Vegas... is craft beer

After first staying at the now-gone Imperial Palace and
then Planet Hollywood Resorts, my Vegas go-to has now
become the Excalibur Hotel and Casino with its medieval
King Arthur theme going on. Everyone needs a home away
from home and the Excalibur has become mine. Love it.

The story of my trip to Las Vegas to see my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs play their first-ever game in Sin City began on the tarmac of Toronto's Pearson Airport. I mention that only because I and the rest of the passengers on December 29 all became quite familiar with that tarmac.

You see, the flight was to leave at 8:55 pm and land in Vegas at 10:55. It's a five-hour flight but with the time change, you gain three hours, right? (If you don't understand how time travel works, just nod. Also go watch the Back to the Future trilogy. Geez.) And 10:55 pm is just the beginning of a night in Vegas. However, we got delayed on that tarmac for slightly more than three hours. Every time the pilot got on the intercom to explain another delay, the poor bastard was getting jeered. Takes a lot to make Canadians hiss at you but he was succeeding. I just shrugged. I mean, it's not like he can say, "Screw this! I'm not waiting anymore. Let's jump the queue."

So with wheels finally off the ground at 12:05 am, that meant landing in Vegas at 2:05 am and while that's still the shank of the evening in Sin City, it's somewhat less so when your body thinks it's after 5 am.

My first night representing in Vegas and I paid homage to
my crew at Nickel Brook. Now you don't want to know
about the ugly bastard in this pic, taken by my server,
Anthony, but rather what's in the glass. That would be
from Crafthaus, the brewery around the corner, and it's
their Resinate IPA. So Las Vegas was off to a great start.

Still, my first night in Vegas? I was gonna get out, at least a little. After quickly cabbing it to and checking into the Excalibur Hotel and Casino, my favourite haunt, I knew where I was going. There's a little bridge that goes directly over Tropicana Boulevard and leads into the side-door of the New York New York Hotel and Casino across the street. And about 50 yards past that door, just past the famous Coyote Ugly bar is an open-air craft beer bar called Pour 24. It's right at the top of the stairs that leads down to their casino.

As this was my second (of many to come) time at the Excalibur, I knew Pour 24 all too well from my last visit. You see, this is my seventh trip to Vegas in a decade and the first five times were with girlfriends. All lovely, beautiful ladies, all fun company but it was mostly shows, shopping and "Let's take another selfie... OMG, delete that one!" Stuff that's less fun to me. My last two solo adventures have been dedicated to a new love - American craft beer. Last time, it was about finding great American IPAs that I hadn't previously enjoyed. This time? I was zeroing in on great Nevada IPAs (and maybe a couple of other styles.) Why? Because wherever I am, I want to drink locally and man, was Nevada ready for me in that department.

Anthony at Pour 24 craft beer bar in New York New
York Hotel and Casino was the first friendly face not
long after I landed in Vegas. He always seemed to be
working when I was walking by and as such, I always
seemed to be stopping there to start my day on the
strip or on my way back. NYNY or Pour 24, give this
man a raise, based solely on the money I spent there.

So because I knew this would be a short night out, given the late hour, off I went to nearby Pour 24 where I encountered Anthony, my new serving bestie. And I asked about local IPAs. Soon, I had Las Vegas brew-house Crafthaus Resinate IPA in my hands, courtesy of the man. (The actual brewery is in Henderson, Nevada.) And because it was very late and it was just me and another couple there, I got to chat with Anthony. Told him I was from Toronto (I always say that - it's easier) and was there to see the Leafs play the Vegas Golden Knights on New Years Eve. His eyes lit up as he talked about what the expansion NHL team had brought to the city - apparently, a lot of Canadians - and it turns out they quite like us down there. The usual reasons - we're just plain nice. After asking about him - how he landed in Vegas, where he was from and the usual get-to-know-you inquiries - I asked where this Crafthaus brewhouse was because I was quite enjoying the 6.5%, 58 IBU (international bitterness units) Resinate IPA with its grapefruit and pine on the backs of Cascade, Centennial and Chinook hops. He just laughed: "You'll see it on your way into the T-Mobile Arena!" And by gawd, I sure did. Never made it in but I'll be back in the Summer. And maybe again in the Autumn. Possibly earlier in the Spring, too, as well. I dunno, I kinda like this bustling little city. Not a gambler at all so I must just dig neon and noise.

Because it was gifted to me by my favourite carpenter, Josh
Beaven, my Brock Street Brewing T-Shirt was my Day Two
shirt. Here we are at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville bar and
this photo comes with a story. I asked a dude, about 75, who
was really trashed if he could take my picture. He held the
camera pointed at himself (I knew - I just wanted to see) and
flashed himself in the face. After he got his sight back, I got
the camera in his hands correctly and he nailed Take Two...

But folks, here's my Favourite Anthony Story. It was Day Two of Four that I was coming back to the Excalibur after a day on the Vegas Strip. I saw him working and thought, "Time to stop in for a wobbly and say hey to Anthony because I'm almost home." I live in Oakville, Ontario but the Excalibur is my home, too. I love that place. They're solid - like that mystical sword of yore! Because I had enjoyed many Nevada beers that day (coming up), I opted for a Green Flash (San Diego) West Coast Imperial IPA, which is 8.1% and 95 IBUs of orange, grapefruit and pine glory. He greeted me happily as a familiar face ("Find some good beers out there?" Oh yes.) but I saw a group of 12, half men, half women, downing shots on the main stretch of the bar and asked what their deal was. "I think it's a wedding party," he said. "They started with a bunch of wine and beer but they are now up to shots." Hmm, a group of men and women downing shots together, I told him, that means there's gonna be some yelling and crying soon. "Oh yeah," he laughed, "And I can tell you exactly when, too. Just wait until they get their bill..."

But Day Two on the Vegas Strip when I woke up at about noon their time - the day before the Big Hockey Game - was my "Let's Explore What Craft Beer Treats Are Here" Day.

Tina at the Sin City Brewing satellite booth was an
absolute pro, answering every question I asked about
their beers and nailing the answers. She knew all the
styles and like me, she rocks the flannel overshirt.

And part of that meant Sin City Brewing, now over a decade old. Keep in mind, the first five times I went to Vegas, I was not a craft beer drinker and was perfectly happy with $1 and $2 Buds or Miller Genuine Drafts along the strip.

But during three stays at Planet Hollywood resort, I did see their initial brewery among the Miracle Mile Shops that circle that resort. While now there are four Sin City Brewing outlets along the strip, Owner-Brewmaster Richard Johnson has kept it a Vegas-only operation, only available in kegs. No bottles, no cans. So if you see someone, such as myself, wandering along the strip drinking their product, it's in their plastic cup with the brewery logo. Also because he keeps it small batch - 100 kegs each time - he has only created five styles - their Light, Amber, Stout, IPA and Weisse. I stuck my head into their Harmon Corner location but it was pretty jammed so I kept moving along. (I already had a Samuel Adams Rebel IPA in my hand.)

But I noticed something unusual in the outlet that I had to ask server Tina about when I came upon their satellite stand in the Grand Bazaar Shops in a shopping strip alley beside Bally's Las Vegas.

With over 145 taps - 130 of them craft beers - Yard
House is an absolute stop for craft lovers in Vegas.
The fact that 34 of the taps were craft IPAs made it
a necessary stop for me. I will be coming back here!

Chatting with her as she poured my Sin City IPA, I had to ask why there was Bud and Coors Light also on the counter at the Harmon Corner outlet whereas her little kiosk just carried Sin City alone? Harmon Corner was a sit-down location, she explained, so they carry a couple of big names "because you don't want to miss out on the sale." I suppose that makes sense. It's Vegas so not unwise to cater to the masses. It was weird to see those macros in a craft outlet, though.

Billed as a "classic British-style IPA", Sin City's was a great strip-walking brew. A light amber colour, at 6.5%, it's more of a hybrid as the nose was all west-coast pine with a caramel malt backbone. Deep rich taste. A few Ontario breweries - Walkerville in Windsor, as well as Longslice and Junction Craft, both in Toronto - do that hybrid-IPA style exceptionally well.

Further up the strip, I came upon another alley with businesses on both side beside LINQ Hotel, which replaced the former Imperial Palace. (The Imperial was so 1940s old-school that rooms still had balconies - something Vegas got rid of years ago for fear that some poor slob, who'd wagered his life savings away, would take a swan dive off one.)

At Yard House, my server Josh holds up my
Joseph James Brewing Hop Box Imperial IPA
which was both from Nevada and one helluva
beer. Two boxes checked at once with this one.

At first, I stopped into Off The Strip as their awning said "Craft Beer and Libations" but when I started talking to my server - great guy, won't name him, this is why - after he got me a Firestone Walker (Paso Robles, California) Union Jack IPA, he told me once I finished it, I should walk five minutes further down to Yard House. Without so much as a blink, he added, "To a real craft beer drinker, our selection is meh. Yard House has a ton of Nevada craft beers. But they have this chocolate peanut butter stout you have to try! I go there after work to drink it." Thank you very much, Awesome Man Whose Name Can Never Be Uttered!!!!

When I got into the Yard House, I told my server, Josh, that I was actually sent there by a guy at Off The Strip and he laughed, "Glad he knows where all the really good beers are." When he plunked the humongous craft beer menu in front of me, I had to ask. "How many taps do you have here?" Turns out it's 146 taps. That's a lot and something like 35 were pale ales, IPAs and Imperial IPAs. So when I asked Josh what a good high-ABV Nevada IPA was, he was soon back in front of me with a pint of Joseph James Brewing (Henderson, Nevada) Hop Box Imperial IPA.

The half yard glass has got to be about 30 ounces
(about a litre) of beer. In fact, Yard House won't
serve any big-ABV beers in these glasses. It looks
like the cut-off point is above 7%. Smart move!

At 8.2% and 90 IBUs, this thing was a Brain Cell Blaster! Tons of citrus on the nose, sticky resin, orange rind and pine on the tongue with that noticeable malt back end you get with most Imperial IPAs. But I ordered a cheeseburger and fries and when it was there within five minutes, the lady sitting a few chairs down from me, Craft Beer Carolyn, marveled at the speed it arrived and then asked me if I'd tried the Belching Beaver Brewing (San Diego) Peanut Butter Milk Stout, apparently the same beer that Name Withheld recommended. I told her I honestly wanted to but with all the IPAs on their menu, that wasn't gonna happen. Not a problem, she said, stop in at such-and-such store (about two blocks away) on my way back to the Excalibur because they always had it. "Seriously, you have to try it!" she exclaimed. "I will!" I exclaimed right back.

I did find it... and I did try it. So how was it? Well, that's gonna have to wait for next time as I continue my Vegas adventure with that Toronto Maple Leafs vs Las Vegas Golden Knights hockey game (Spoiler Alert: We lost 6-3) which was a frikkin' blast, as well as countless other Nevada beers and shenanigans on the Vegas strip as the New Years Eve clock struck midnight. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Back in a few days with Vegas, Part Two but until then, I remain...

The Best of 2017 - Part Three

The Central Fire Station in Brandon, Manitoba, a historical
building, was recently converted into the Prairie Firehouse
Restaurant by owner Anna Dumas. A largely-rural town,
surrounded by acres and acres of farmland, Dumas invented a
unique way to urge the town's macro-swillers towards some
tastier craft beer offerings. I tip my hat to Anna's crazy idea!

Okay, today, we are finally gonna wrap up The Best of 2017 because look, we're almost halfway though January. Where does the year go, eh?

But before we start, a quick story to wet the whistle. Because that's how I always start (though sometimes, it ain't so quick) but I think you'll like this one.

Anna Dumas, the owner of the Prairie Firehouse Restaurant in Brandon, Manitoba, a community of about 49,000 resident and due west of Winnipeg about 215 kilometres (133 miles), was tired of seeing her restaurant's terrific selection of craft beers from Manitoba, Ontario and nearby Minnesota get passed over by customers wanting the same old macro fare. Particularly, the beer of choice in the town - Bud Light.

So when the New Year rolled around, she instituted some new pricing in her place. Want a 355-ml (12 oz) can of Bud Light there now? That'll be $15, please and thank you. Meanwhile, the top-drawer craft stuff is practically value-priced at $7 to $8 a pint.

Barrie Beer Brother Hago gifted me with my first
Skull Pucker Sour IPA by the great gang at 5 Paddles
Brewing in Whitby. You see the skull's face on the
label? Pretty much what my face did. So sour, so good.

The choice is easy, Brandon, Manitoba! And Anna, I try to keep my awards to Ontario breweries and beers but you are absolutely my Best Restaurant Owner Of The Year! Take a bow as your deceptively-evil plan is for a pure and noble cause. Gotta support your locals! And speaking of which, let's finish this little dog-and-pony up, starting with...

Best Sour: 2017 was the year I finally started developing a taste for sours as a legitimate craft beer style. To be frank, I was a most reluctant participant at first. But by the end of 2016, my toes were slightly deeper in the water and by mid-2017, I was cannon-balling into the middle of the pond. While my home-boys at Nickel Brook produced a ton of great ones during the Summer, the best one I had by far this year was made by 5 Paddles Brewing in Whitby - their Skull Pucker Sour IPA. At just 5% (normal for a sour) and a jacked-up 65 IBU (international bitterness units), this was 99.9% sour and 0.1% IPA. As citrus as any great IPA, this was all pucker-power. A gift from Barrie Beer Brother Hago, it was one of those deals where he was handing it to me but when I went to grab it, he wouldn't let it go. So I instructed my son, David, to kick him in the nards.

Above the GLB 30th Anniversary gold label designed with the
brewery's graphic designer Fabian Skidmore are all the vital
stats for their 30th Anniversary Barrel Aged Quad With
Cherries. A slow sipper that is fully capable of taking your
leg out from underneath you, it was probably best shared.
Unfortunately, I forgot to do that, which likely led to a nap.

Hago let go and we cleared the hell outta Dodge. (None of this is true. My boy idolizes Hago. He'd kick his old man in the nuts before Hago.) But man, easily the best sour I had this year. (Previous Winners: Bellwoods' Motley Cru 2016, Bellwoods' Jelly King.)

Best Belgian-Style: Truth to tell, I don't drink a ton of Belgians. I do genuinely like the style but I always seem to be chasing something new - the latest fad, usually the newest IPA - while a centuries-old outstanding style is sitting patiently on the shelf beside it, wearing the fugly bright orange bride's-maid gown. But I remember talking to Drunk Polkaroo about Belgians in the Summer, as he is a huge fan. I told him that probably the best one I had enjoyed was the 30th Anniversary Barrel-Aged Quad that we had raised for the big Happy Birthday toast at Great Lakes Brewing's 30th Anniversary Party back in February. This is... until I found an actually better version of the same beer! When my co-worker Trey popped into the brewery in the Spring (he lives five minutes away), he grabbed me the same quad but the version that was barrel-aged with cherries. Despite the style and huge ABV of 11.3%, this was full-bodied but deceptively not boozy at all in the glass (though not so much so on my legs when I finished.) It had the rich maltiness you expect from a solid Quad but the cherries added just a lightest touch of sweetness to the mix. They took a fantastic beer, gave it a tiny tweak and voila! Something a step better was born.

Best Triple Play: This one goes to the brewery that has three progressively stronger and tastier beers but all of similar style, usually their pale ale, IPA and Imperial IPA.

You'll have to imagine their Air Ride IPA in the middle but Redline
Brewhouse's troika of Clutch Pale Ale, Air Ride and Double Clutch
Double IPA was 2017's Best Triple Play. Tasty! Tastier!! Tastiest!!!!

In baseball, the traditional triple play is third to second to first, although it's not uncommon for the the shortstop to initiate the play. In my craft beer version, it's hoppy to hoppier to hoppiest, all by the same team. To that end, Redline Brewhouse (Barrie) nailed their Triple Play with Clutch Pale Ale (my Best of 2017), followed by their Air Ride IPA and finished with their Double Clutch Double IPA. All three are as hazy as hell, almost making you wonder if Brewmaster Sebastian MacIntosh was deliberately going for an East-Coast style with the trio. Well, regardless of his intentions, it was, by far, the Best Triple Play of the Year. (Previous Winners: Collective Arts' State of Mind, Rhyme & Reason, Ransack The Universe; Nickel Brook's Naughty Neighbour, Headstock and Immodest.)

When old college roomies, Sebastian MacIntosh of Redline and Curtis
Jeffrey of Cameron's, got together to make an IPA, it was very musicly
oriented as they used the name of Notorious BIG's 1997 classic rap song.

Best Ontario Collaboration: And just like that, Redline's Sebastian is right back in play as he and Cameron's brewer Curtis Jeffrey, former roomies at Brewing College, got together to create the Going Going Back Back to Cali Cali, a beer inspired by a song from Notorious B.I.G. - also a song that was the soundtrack to their crazy college days. Using California yeast, this 6.1%, 82 IBU (international bitterness units) was a mango-bomb. (Previous Winner was a coast-to-coast collab from Flying Monkeys, Philips, Garrison and Trou du Diable, called Coast to Coastless Imperial ESB)

Really?? Lil Donkey Pale Ale, a collaboration between
Redline and Rainhard Brewing, was a... burrito beer?

Craziest Ontario Collaboration: There's a reason I call our craft brewers "mad scientists." They're all fargin' nuts. Loco. Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs. The lot of them. That's the only feasible explanation between Lil' Donkey Pale Ale, a collaboration between Redline and Rainhard Brewing in Toronto. The ingredients besides the usual hops, barley, water and yeast? Well, tortillas, rice, corn, beans, lime and cilantro. Sound familiar? It should. That's what goes into a frikkin burrito!!! Now granted, these ingredients were used in the mash at the beginning of the brewing process so no, there weren't chunks of tortilla shells in the glass. And it got goosed largely by Idaho 7, Cashmere and El Dorado hops so the 5.4%, 50 IBU pale ale was an interesting take on the popular style. Obviously as hazy as hell, it had a lime base and was actually really good. I mean, there's "milkshake IPAs" so why not a "burrito beer?" I look forward to next year's "Big Mac Stout..." (Crazy bastards.)

Three breweries from three different cities in two
different countries created this Smooth Maneuvers
New England Style IPA. So don't believe all the news
you read as Canadian-American trade relations are
still going strong. At least in the world of craft beer!

Best Canadian-American Collaboration: Okay, stretching a bit beyond our Ontario borders now but only as far as New York state. This was a great idea as Collective Arts (Hamilton) got together with Thin Man Brewing (Buffalo) and Sloop Brewing (Elizaville, New York) to co-create a New England-style IPA, Smooth Maneuvers. The three brewmasters - Ryan Morrow in the case of Collective Arts - created the recipe and then all three brewers took it home and did their own batches separately. Were they all identical? Doubtful. Different suppliers, different water, different countries, different... well, you name it. But it's also safe to assume they were remarkably similar with the New England style at least. We only got the Canadian version here but lemme tell you this for free, shit, this was dynamite. The Canadian one used Vic Secret and Motueka (that's a new one for me) hops in this 6.3%, roughly 45-50 IBU murky mess of deliciousness though I believe the two Yankee brewers went for different hop profiles. (I'm not 100% sure, though. Like I said, all craft brewers are somewhat daft.) I was sure to grab some for both Beer Bro Glenn and Barrie Beer Brother Hago. Nothing but orange rind and mango in a glass and believe me, that is a good thing. A very very good thing.

Posing with the delightful Candice during our Whitby
Craft Brewery Invasion of 2017 is Mark Woitzik,
co-owner of Brock Street Brewing. He is my Craft
Beer Executive of 2017 because he went out of his way
to make sure our little limo excursion kicked ass right
from the start. His graciousness was so huge to us all.

Best Brewmaster Gift: It's a personal point of pride for me that I have never asked any brewery for a freebie. Have I received some? Yes, absolutely but to be honest, they were always appreciative thank you's on their part for something I had said or written. A friend or owner or brewer from a brewery hands you a gift, you say thank you as graciously as you can, drink the hell outta it and be glad someone thought of you in a nice way. But frankly, how can you even appreciate something you asked for? (I ain't some Rosedale Millennial asking her Daddy for a BMW convertible "but it has to be eye shadow blue.") Bottom Line: Pay for what you get, people! They're small businesses, not charities. Even then, I was incredibly blown away when my niece, Genny, flew in from Halifax, bearing a gift for me from the Hop Hellion of the Eastern Seaboard, Greg Nash, of Unfiltered Brewing. It was a growler of his outstanding Twelve Steps to Zion Imperial IPA. Yes, I said a growler. That 1.9-litre (64 ounce) glass jug. My niece was a beer-mule for a big-ass flagon of craft beer from Halifax. She and Greg actually go way back to when she was a university-age server (now a nurse) at a brew-pub where he was the underappreciated brewer genius. Now I have written about Greg in the past as his brewery was on my Bucket List when Genny got married in Halifax in October 2016.

Okay, I knew a Barrie brewery would be the
Spirit of Craft Beer for 2017 but I was torn.
Do I go with Redline Brewhouse, represented
top left by Kaitlyn Krawczuk with my dude
Hago? Or Barnstormer Brewing as shown
top right by their witty social media dude,
Brad Arliss? Or perhaps Andrea Chiodo,
co-owner of Flying Monkeys Brewing, who
was instrumental in several pieces I wrote this
year? Well, read on to see who actually won...

So why would a 30-year-old beautiful young lady like my niece, Genny, bring me such as awesome 8%, 100-plus IBU, peach, citrus, hop bomb from a far-away brewer? Well, according to her, Mr Nash thinks I'm "f**king funny." He doesn't know I have four comedy writers (okay, unpaid interns) lobbing jokes at me when I throw this shit together. Did I share the growler with them? Hellz to the no!! If they have a good day and even one joke lands, they get a lovely glass of water and a day-old bagel. Much like breweries, there's no charity at Donny's Bar and Grill. So Greg, you are (and always will be) dah f**king man!

Best Craft Brewery Executive: So how was early-December's Whitby Craft Brewery Invasion? It was the frikkin bomb, man. We had a limo. We went to four craft breweries in one afternoon. And it got vague and sketchy by dusk. So perfect, right? Yes, butttt... As the organizer, I had some serious help with that and his name was Mark Woitzik of Brook Street Brewing. Before I even landed in Oshawa to start the adventure, Mark was on the phone to me, setting up a side-visit to the site of the new Brock Street Brewing actually on Brock Street with the builders of the place. That included one of our own, Josh Beaven, the carpenter putting the final woody touches on the new brewery-restaurant's retail area. One of my favourite memories of 2017 was Josh sidling up to me and telling me what he envisioned for that retail area. In the words of the late great Gord Downie, it was My Music At Work as he explained his ideas almost lyrically. Once we got to the actual brewery on Hopkins Street, Mark and another co-owner Victor Leone were, well, I dunno what to say but geezuz, we were treated like royalty.

This guy right here, Gordie Levesque, was with me the
whole time I endured the horrors of a New Years Eve in
Las Vegas. He kept me calm through the horrific (it was
awesome!) experience. He was my shoulder to cry on (no
crying - I was having a blast) and to that end, I honour
Gordie and Great Lakes Brewing Canuck Pale Ale as my
2017 Best Beer of the Year. The beer that's always been
there for us all but sometimes we forget that. It's so good.

Or at least like Meghan Markle. (If someone could tell me who the hell she is, it would be much appreciated.) Much like Josh and his dream retail space, my day was made by Mark. It was like he thought, "This brewery invasion sounds cool. What can I do to contribute?" And man, did he deliver. From the bottom of my heart, good sir, you are finestkind!! (Previous Winner: Garnet Pratt Sidall, former president of Side Launch Brewing. Don't even get me started on that.)

The Spirit Of Craft Beer: This award goes to the Ontario craft brewery that best exemplifies the spirit of what they create. The enthusiasm. The fun. The great beer. This year was seriously a dilemma. Given my friendship with Beer Brother Hago and the fun we've had in Barrie, I knew it would be one of their three craft breweries - Redline Brewhouse, Barnstormer Brewing or long-time favourite, Flying Monkeys Craft Brewing. (My son loves them for Wizard of Oz reasons.) Do I go with Redline because our friend, Kaitlyn Krawczuk, basically took us on the first tour and was such an awesome guide, as well as a kick-ass hockey player? Do I got with Barnstormer because their clever social media dude, Brad Arliss, hilariously conned both Hago and myself on April 1st by convincing us both that there were going to be individual Craft Beer retail outlets in Ontario?

Just as I promised Great Lakes Brewing I would
bring them a cake on their actual 30th birthday
(and did), I promised them that Gordie Levesque
and I would see New Year's Eve together in Las
Vegas. Hey man, a promise make is a debt unpaid.

Or do I go with Flying Monkeys because their co-owner Andrea Chiodo (so very awesome) helped with a healthy handful of blogs this year? After trying "paper rock scissors" to decide, I realized I was the only guy in the room... and that wasn't gonna to work. (Didn't stop me from trying for about a half hour.) So this year's winner is The Barrie Craft Beer Mafia. All three breweries. They all rock equally and people like Kaitlyn, Brad and Andrea are the reason. I wanted to pick just one... but I couldn't. (Previous Winners: Longslice Brewing, Brock Street Brewing.)

Beer of the Year (aka The Wingman Award): This has always gone to IPAs. Not this year. This year, it goes to a Pale Ale and that beer is Great Lakes Brewing Canuck Pale Ale. It was the brewery's 30th Anniversary and this is their core beer. But it's more than that. Sometime in the Autumn, I posted a picture of it on Twitter and said words to the effect of "Because it's always there, because it's always available, I often forget how good this beer really is." Many agreed, including Robin LeBlanc, the co-author of the Great Ontario Beer Guide with Jordan St. John, who responded that she had been at some big conference that beer writers attend, had it and thought exactly the same thing. And I figured, "Well then, no way I'm off-base here if Robin agrees with me." (Well, more like, "Holy crap, I'm right?" Doesn't happen much.)

I am going to leave the final words of 2017 to David,
my son. When we were at Flying Monkeys Brewing
up in Barrie, he got under their neon sign and said,
"Daddy, take my picture!" My boy drinks iced tea but
he sure knows what his old man likes! Craft Beer!

But whether she had agreed or not, it is absolutely worthy. I had promised the brewery that Gordie Levesque would be seeing in the New Year in Las Vegas with me and he did. Whereas my previous winners were total high-ABV shit-disturbers, telling me to do stuff like text an ex-girlfriend at 2 am or argue politics on Facebook, Gordie was, well, more philosophical. When I put the shirt on, Gordie noted, "Did you notice when you put me on that you went into one hole but came out three?" No, Gordie, I did not think of that. Before the clock struck midnight, he noted, "Great Lakes turned 30 this year so basically, we have spent a month of our entire brewery life, just celebrating birthdays." Again, food for thought. But it was as the New Year struck that Gordie stepped it up. When I was approached by a pretty-but-younger-than-my-son escort at a casino bar who asked if I wanted "company," I politely (because I'm Canadian) said thank you but declined. "Good call," said Gordie, "What happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas if it's an STD." Thanks, Gordie, I can on occasion use my brain. "I wonder how much she charges?" he then asked. Okay, at some point, philosophy does fall to the wayside. Also, you're just a T-Shirt so calm down there, Hef. (Previous Winners: Muskoka Mad Tom IPA and Collective Arts' Ransack The Universe IPA)

My artist buddy, David Buist, did this caricature of me in
2017 and the only reason I didn't swap it out as my profile
picture is that all that salt made it look like my hair had
no pepper. Dammit, I'm old but there's still pepper there!
But honestly, he pretty much totally nailed my big mouth. 

Okay, that's a wrap on 2017 but I want to add one thing. I feel badly because the established craft breweries outnumbered the newbies by something like a three-to-one ratio. A bit too much Nickel Brook, GLB, Cameron's and Muskoka and not nearly enough Little Beasts, Merit and Meghan Markle. (Seriously, who is she and why am I supposed to care?) That's on me. My year was kinda turned upside down and I'd like to tell you all how I became the Prince of a place called Bel Air. Or Oakville. Close enough. So I didn't get out as much as I'd like to due to family stuff but hey man, I'm all settled in now. I pulled together that Whitby Craft Brewery Invasion on the fly at the end of the year and it rocked hard so I'm good to go in 2018. Granted when you tell people, "Four craft breweries and a limo," you know the organizer isn't the rock star. The limo and breweries are. But you know something? That was one helluva memory and sometimes, starting a New Year right means ending the previous one correctly. A limo followed by a trip to Vegas? This guy does it right sometimes. And Hago made a kick-ass video of the Whitby right here called: Hago's Kick-Ass Whitby Video. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! I'll be back with Vegas beers on the weekend but until then, I remain...