Meanwhile, at Eagle Lake...

As the first snowfall of the year slowly flutters down on us at Highlander
Brew Company, Boys Weekend buddies, Kevin, left, and Bill pose under the
sign at the brewery. Because of their logo, Kevin felt the urge to give himself
antlers because of... Kevin reasons. Either that or he's doing his Bullwinkle...

I remember when I drove to my buddy Bill's cottage in South River, Ontario, for the First Annual Boys' Weekend way back in 2001 or so. His instructions were clear.

"Okay, Donner, go north on Highway 400. When Highway 11 splits off from 400, take it. Keep traveling all the way up on Highway 11 until you hit the only stop light. Then turn left."

Wait, what? Hit a traffic light? On a highway? How is that possible? Well, lemme tell you.

Highway 11 starts just north of Barrie and runs right up to North Bay, a distance of 250 kilometres (155 miles). Two lanes both ways, speed limit of 100 km/h (60 mph). Except back in 2001, there was a stretch of it that ran through two small towns, Sundridge and South River, where it became a single lane road as it was also the main street in both towns. That meant traffic dropped to 50 km/h (30 mph). And by gawd, Bill was right. They was one traffic light at a gas station where we had to turn left to get to Eagle Lake Road. Over the years, both small towns added more traffic signals, meaning if you were driving further north, things really slowed down for that 30-mile stretch.

See this? We don't go to South River for the Boys
Weekends for the base debauchery and excessive
alcohol. No, we appreciate the area because it's,
in fact, Nature's Playground. Filled with lakes and
rocks and trees and bears and moose and drunken
idiots on a Boys Weekend. That's called tradition.

That really pissed off one North Bay resident, though. Now normally you'd say, "One guy? Who gives a shit what one dude thinks?" Except that this man's name was Mike Harris and he was the Premier of Ontario at that time. In fact, he was so pissed... (Studio Audience: "How pissed was he?") He was so pissed that he rubber-stamped a proper four-lane bypass around the two towns at a cost of hundreds of millions. (Studio Audience: "That's not much of a punchline. Not your best work!") Construction started as soon as Harris cracked the whip but it took years - more than a decade. A bazillion trees had to be cleared. That section of Ontario is mostly Northern Shield so we're talking rock-filled terrain, meaning those boulders had to be blasted through with explosives. And let's face it, since it was a government contract, the workers were likely dragging ass rather than hauling it.

The first time I went to the cottage, the bypass was just beginning. You could see where they were veering west off the established roadway but it was just small patches of steamrollers and sand at that point. Not very far along.

In a desperate bid to help our Kevin up his Cool
Quotient, I had him hold up Cowbell Brewing's
Doc Perdue's Bobcat West Coast Red Ale. It, of
course, didn't work but craft beer can't perform
miracles. But Kevin's cool in his own weird way.

A few years ago, they finally finished the bypass and now if you wish, you can scoot around both Sundridge and South River going full speed ahead, captain. That old section of Highway 11 is now Highway 124. Granted, if you stay on 124, it reconnects to Highway 11 a little further north. But since the return of Boys Weekends this June after a six year absence, I very deliberately cut off Highway 11 to drive through Sundridge and then South River, even though both has access off the new Highway 11. Why? Well, tradition for one, I suppose. This is the way I have always come for the past 16 years.

But more importantly, that's where Highlander Brew Co. is located. Right on the main street just 30 seconds before that old traffic signal where I turn to get onto Eagle Lake Road. Leaving after a Friday shift, I was excitedly telling coworkers Trey and Patchy how much I loved visiting Highlander in June when Boys Weekends resumed after that long hiatus and how pumped I was to return.

Trey looked at me and asked: "Is there only one?" I was a little taken aback and replied, "Well, yeah, South River is only a thousand people so of course there's just one craft brewery there." Trey looked at me, realizing the obvious reference had gone over my head and tried again. "So there can ONLY be one?" Ahhhh, Highlander, gotcha. I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box.

You can kind of see it in this picture but that left-over 11~05
Imperial Saison brewed collaboratively by Nickel Brook and
Sawdust City was a murky, cloudy mess. This was their 2015
version so yeah, it's seen a few miles. Bill is a Scotch drinker,
who might just have the odd Coors Light, so he looked at this
muddy glass of beer and worried for my health. It was tasty!

As I was leaving, I stopped in at an LCBO because I decided I wanted a two-four of Ontario craft beer that had some real variety. Ones I really love. Six different beers, four of each but nothing I could get at my own Beer Store. In the end, that turned out to be four Great Lakes Brewing (Etobicoke) Karma Citra IPA and Canuck Pale Ale, four Cowbell Brewing (Blyth, Ontario) Doc Perdue's Bobcat West Coast Red Ale, four Collective Arts (Hamilton) Ransack The Universe IPA, four Lake of Bays Brewing (Baysville, Ontario) Oxtongue IPA and for shits and giggles, four skull-crushing Amsterdam Brewing (Toronto) Fracture Imperial IPA. Basically, my two-four was a hop-loving Beer Geek's wet dream. And so you know, that hop-loving wet dream clocked in at just under $79. Craft beer is NOT for the weak of heart or the thin of wallet. But it's worth every damn penny. Oddly, unlike the old days Boys Weekends with macros, half of these came home with me. I used to take up a 24 of Blue on Friday night and buy more on Saturday "just in case..." 

I'm in a Facebook group called Gordie's Legion
where we all post pictures of Great Lakes Brewing
Canuck Pale Ale. Because I was in South River, I
was able to post the first 2017 picture of our Gordie
Levesque in the snow. And yes, the beer was cold!!

You just don't drink craft beer as quickly as macro, I find. Something, something, savour that beer....blah, blah, blah, the usual snobby craft beer lecture. Long story short, you drink it slower. Science or wizardry may be involved.

Still, it's a three and a half hour drive up there and my immediate dilemma was that backseat beer would all be warm by my arrival.

The LCBO, Beer Store and Highlander Brewing up there in South River all close at 6 pm. I'd be pissed about the hours but the fact that this tiny village of 1,100 people has an LCBO and a Beer Store and a craft brewery is a bit of a statistical anomaly, to be honest. So when I arrived, because it was only about 3C (37F), I put some in the fridge and left the rest outside. They'd cool down quickly enough. But Bill noted there were cold beers in the fridge. I did a quick scan. Saw some Coors Light. The opposite of "yay!" But what was that at the back? Great horny toads, it was a 11~05 Imperial Saison, the annual collaborative effort between Nickel Brook Brewing and Sawdust City Brewing, created by their respective brewmasters Ryan Morrow and Sam Corbiel to commemorate their shared November 5 birthdays. It had been left there after our June Boys Weekend. The downside? This was their 2015 offering.

The Highlander Brewing Rye Road Pale Ale is not
your typical hop-driven pale ale. Given his Scottish
roots, Brewmaster Brian Wilson is more inclined to
go the malty route. But this time, he threw a healthy
dose of rye malts in there, as well. That gave this
offering some of that nice spiciness on the tongue.

The upside? It's an 11.05% ABV beer. Since it was November 3rd, this beer was one year and 364 days old, being as 2016 was a Leap Year. So the question in front of me was: "Do I drink a two-year-old craft beer or not?" I mean, craft beers have no preservatives and it's not like this was some bourbon-barrel-aged stout that you can store for years. But in the end, we all know the question isn't really a question. Of course, I was going to. 

Sweet Baby Jeebus, this beer looked like absolute shit. I have had the cloudiest and murkiest of Vermont-style IPAs and this 11~05 looked like Campbell's Chunky Soup next to those. When I held it up to the light, it was like there was as much solid matter in there as liquid. I think Scotch-drinking Bill was quite literally worried about my health when he saw the sediment in the beer. And by "quite literally," I mean he didn't give a shit about my funky-ass beer because he was busy drinking Scotch.

In the end, while it looked like a dog's breakfast, it had retained the wonderful fruitiness I remembered from its original release two years ago. The floaties? Protein! Also - and this is definitely doing things backwards - I was starting the Boys Weekend with an 11% beer. 

This is one of the nicest session ales I've have in quite some time.
At just 4%, this has some orange rind and oatmeal malts so not
your typical session Blonde Ale. Also, the name Happy Landing
has a long and colourful history in South River as it was a diner
and gas station that all the teens hung out at back in the 1950s.
Richie, Potsie, The Fonz, Ralph Malph - they all hung out there.

You usually work up to those. But this, too, is Boys Weekends. The only rules that apply is that the music be loud, the booze be plentiful and the playing deck always be nearby for Poker and Euchre purposes. At times, money is involved and I have learned over the years that given my astute card-playing abilities, I should just toss all my cash on the card table Friday night and let the boys decide how to divide it.

Okay, despite the outstanding selection I had brought with me to drink, all of which I have lauded in the past, I was in South River to buy Highlander beers. Now when Bill and I visited back in June, Brewmaster Brian Wilson (no, not that one) was on hand to give us the tour of the new brewery.

Well, the brewery had already been around for a few years but they had more recently built a newer one five times the size right on the main strip. And one of the things Brian was most excited about is that they were getting a canning machine set up very shortly. Prior to this year, Highlander's brews were only available in 650-ml (22 ounce) bottles.

Okay, you know you're up north when the lager
you buy has rifle artwork on the labels. Granted,
this is deer season up there. And moose season.
And bear season. And drunken rowdy Boys in
Cottages season and frankly they are the worst!

So upon my glorious return (I heard angels singing... and also some screaming) to the brewery on November 4th, I was greeted for the first time by the sight of 473-ml (16 ounce) cans in the Highlander fridges. It was only my second visit so my return carries a little less grandeur than I make it sound. But I've been a fan of Highlander for a few years now so, yeah, I was pretty pumped about them finally filling cans. Remember, life's greatest pleasures are in the small gestures. Sometimes, those are 473-ml gestures. But I'm getting too philosophical here. So let's look in the Highlander Can Goodie Bag and see what I snagged from them... keeping in mind, if you've made it this far, you're invested in this and have little choice.

When six separate Northern Ontario craft breweries got together to create a unique Mix-Six Pack (a subject coming up next blog), Highlander, the southern most of the six, selected their Rye Road Pale Ale to be their contribution. This is one of Brian's newer beers and it's a little beauty. While many brewers lean on hops for pale ales, Brian has always been a Master of the Malts and this beer was no different. Except he threw rye malts into the mix, making this 5.4%, 46 IBU (international bitterness units), giving this a tangy, spicy flavour. I really quite enjoyed it!

In all of the entire Internet, this was the only archived
photo I could find of Happy Landing gas station and diner
in South River way back in the 1950s and earlier. But back
in the day, this was apparently a really happening spot...

Okay, their Happy Landing English Golden Ale comes with a bit of a back-story. Back in the 1950s, Happy Landing was a Shell gas station-diner combo that was hugely popular with the teenagers and 20-somethings in the area back then. They'd come, eat, hook up and dance to the Devil's music of choice, Rock and Roll. Ahh yes, they were bad seeds, those teens. So what happened to it? Well, there's a new building on that site now - some outfit called Highlander Brew Co. So, in essence, it's still a pretty happy landing. Trade the malted milks for malted barley and there you have it. So how about the beer itself? Okay, billed as their session ale at just 4% and 22 IBUs, this one added something a little extra into the mix.

Brewmaster Brian wanted me to remind you all that their
hugely popular Wee Heavy Scottish Style Ale was just
released at the brewery. This 8% Malt Monster, as well as
every beer in their stock, can be delivered to your door
anywhere in Ontario for just the cost of the beer!! Now
that's service! Call them at 705-792-0808 or go directly to
their website for your order and have it shipped to you!

Brian threw orange rinds and oatmeal into the vat, giving this a little more oomph than a lot of session ales. This added real depth to the nose and taste of this smooth English Ale. Actually, it's one of the best sessioners I've had this year.

And finally, let's look at their Buckshot Lager, another 4% brew. To most of us, that's light beer territory and that was his intention. This lager to meant to be their crossover beer for the macro and micro crowd alike. It's a clean lager with some grassiness on the nose and a dry finish. I liked it but I'm a much bigger fan of Brian's heavier beers, particularly their Blacksmith Smoked Porter, one of the Province's best porters with its rich chocolate, caramel and coffee overtones. Even at 6.5%, it's one of those beers you could sip all night on a cold Winter day.

Okay, that's it for today but I'll be back soon with that Northern Ontario Brewers Mix-Six. But something struck me as funny. When I was Googling the Happy Landing Gas Station-Diner, there was only one photo of it on the entire Internet. Want to know why? Okay, count off 120 seconds. Done? In that two minute span, more photos have been taken around the world than there were photos taken from the entirety of 1900 to 1999. Yup, more pictures taken in the last two minutes than all the pictures taken in the 20th Century put together. Mind. Blown. Okay, guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Back soon but until then, I remain...