Muskoka Brewing - the best part of 1996

They said they'd be there for us but were they? I
mean, really? No, they disappeared 12 years ago
while Muskoka Brewery has been there, instead...

Back in 1996, times were a lot simpler.

The TV show, Friends, ruled the television airwaves. The show had finished its second season and would start its third in this year. Best Chandler line ever. Joey: "You didn't cry when Bambi's mom died?" Chandler: "Yes, it was so sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer."

The Spice Girls had just burst onto the music scene. I can't name one of their songs but I do know one married soccer star David Beckham. I can't remember her Spice name but 20 years later, let's just go with Old Spice.

Beanie Babies were a big fad. I don't really remember what they were other than little stuffed dolls. I wish I had paid more attention since they originally sold for something like $15-$20 and now run over $3,000 on eBay. Or in terms I understand more clearly, 60-plus cases of Mad Tom IPA.

The Nintendo 64 was just released and frankly, I can still kick anyone's ass at Super Mario 64. Well, if I can remember how to work the console because most things are not quite as simple as falling off a horse. Tumbling off an equine is probably somewhat similar.

I don't use the term "hero" lightly but Muskoka
Brewery founder Gary McMullen heard this tree was
about to fall over and since that day, he has held it up,
using just one shoulder. Actually, I suppose that makes
him more of a hero to arborists. Okay, I'll go with the
whole started-a-craft-brewery angle for my hero thing

And finally, Mad Cow Disease was declared in Great Britain. Basically it was about infected beef that could make you quite ill if consumed. I also suspect that at the big meeting to decide on a name for the disease, one Brit scientist, who'd had a nasty argument with his wife the night prior, stood up and said, "I have an idea..."

All of those things have come and gone (cows' moods have since been upgraded to somewhat irritated) but something big that started small in 1996 is still here - Muskoka Brewing in Bracebridge. Yup, it was back in June 1996 that Muskoka founders Gary McMullen and Kirk "Kirby" Evans first opened the brewery's doors.

Unfortunately, this story started with some sad news early on as Evans was in a car crash just two months in and six months later, succumbed to his injuries in the hospital. Talking to the Bracebridge Examiner this past April, it was clear McMullen still can't wrap his head around the tragedy. "I was young when it happened, 26, and I think Kirk was 25. You don't expect that stuff to happen. You were young and invincible." While he questioned himself on whether he should even continue, ultimately, he conceded, "It would have been easy and acceptable for people looking at the business to say, 'No wonder they cashed it in' but we kept going."

You missed Pride Week? Muskoka's Summer Survival
Pack has your rainbow of colours right here. For my
money, this is the best Mix-Six I have ever seen. You have
a lager, an ale, a kolsch, a wheat, a session IPA and one of
Canada's best IPAs in one pack. Tis a thing of brew beauty

Asked in the same interview how he thinks Kirby would have viewed the brewery's present-day success, McMullen was certain. "I think he would have been really proud. He'd have a big grin on his face, for sure."

Before getting into their beers and 20th anniversary celebrations, though, perhaps it's time to explain what Muskoka (the region) means to people from south-west Ontario. It is cottage country, plain and simple. A humongous 2,500-square-mile tract of land off Georgian Bay that has 1,600 lakes, making it one of Canada's premier cottaging areas. We went there in our youth to our buddies' parents' cottages. You weren't from this area unless you have partied hard at The Kee To Bala on numerous occasions. Many go there now as cottage owners (well, not me - people who were smart with their money) and it is still some of the most beautiful and scenic land ever put on this Earth. It is, in essence, where people from the Greater Toronto Area escape towards to get the hell out of the Greater Toronto Area. It is also home to three premiere Ontario craft brewers - Muskoka in Bracebridge, Sawdust City Brewing in Gravenhurst and Lake of Bays Brewing in Baysville. There's a whole lot of beautiful in that area.

The Ultimate Muskoka IPA Debate - Mad Tom vs Twice
As Mad Tom. At first, I leaned heavily towards Twice As
Mad. Most IPA lovers I know still do. But then I started
drinking Mad Tom for a while - that while being most of
2015. I love them both - now equally - as they are very
different tastes. Dry-hopped with Centennial and
Chinook hops, the 6.4%, 64 IBU Mad Tom has tons of
grapefruit on the nose with light fruit and a bit of pine
on the tongue. The Twice As Mad at 8.4% and 71 IBUs
is aggressively double dry-hopped with big citrus on the
nose and big whacks of pine on the tongue. The price
difference between the two six packs is just $1.35 so why
not try both, side-by-side and judge them for yourself?

Ironically, McMullen himself does not own a cottage. Then again, he owns a brewery in the middle of Muskoka cottage country so who the hell needs one? Throw a lawn chair on the grass and catch some rays because you're basically at a cottage that never ever runs out of beer. Tough to beat that. Besides, as the man himself said in a recent Q&A, "Muskoka is a state of mind. You can live in a condo on the Gardiner in Toronto, slide open your patio doors and two Muskoka chairs are there. Pan-fry some trout, toss a salad, pour a glass of Summerweiss and you're there."

Well, then, Gary has just explained why the most comfortable and relaxing place in the world for me and visiting friends is the patio at Donny's Bar and Grill. When the foliage fills in on the lilac bushes behind me, I am afforded complete privacy from the townhouses across the way. Square glass table, five chairs, uneven patio stones (that could easily be fixed but haven't been) and a little "man garden" that my son and I built with zero flowers, dollar store ornaments and exactly three hostas. I might add a fourth next Summer. I might level those patio stones. Who knows? Geographically, it may be in Burlington but to me, that patio is my Muskoka and I spend May to September living there.

As part of their 20th Anniversary celebrations,
the brewers at Muskoka took their flagship
beer, the Cream Ale, and oak-aged it. That
rendered this as a completely different beer,
adding woodiness to both aroma and flavour.

You may notice all my pictures of beer are always facing the brick wall on the east side of the patio? Why? Because that's where the sun faces from 1 pm to 4:30 pm on the patio. Boring backdrop, yes, but the sexiness of the beers in the pictures distract you from it. Also that wall is a support structure so it plays a larger role in my life. Nice to give it some face time. Who's a good wall? *No reaction* You are, boy. Yes, you are. But the part of Donny's Bar and Grill that literally (or more accurately put, figuratively) screams Muskoka? The clocks are always set at Beer O'Clock. And that means it's time to start talking Muskoka beers right here, right now...

Let's start with that Summer Survival Pack, seen above. Okay, four of those beers - the Craft Lager, Cream Ale, Detour and Mad Tom - have have descriptive praise heaped on them in this space in the past. The Mad Tom, so much so, that a high school buddy changed its name to Mad Don to honour my last birthday. (It's February 14th, Muskoka, in case you want to do a special run next year. No pressure. Take a can, wrap paper around it and write "Mad Don IPA" in crayon. Draw a stick-man with hockey hair. That'll do.) But the two I have never talked about - the Summerweiss and the Kirby's Kolsch - both just won silver at the 2016 Canadian Brewing Awards for Best German-Style Wheat and German-Style Kolsch.

For those outside Canada who are confused as to what a
Muskoka chair is, it's one of these bad boys usually found
on the deck on a Canadian cottage. Granted, most of them
aren't branded with the Muskoka Brewery logo on the arm

A few years back, Muskoka took their annual Summer brew, the Hefe-Weissbier, and gave it a total rebranding, taking a plain white can with blue borders and changing it to bright yellow can and renaming it Summerweiss. Why? Don't know. Dammit, Jim, I'm a beer geek, not a marketing nerd! But I do know this is a great example of a German wheat with banana on the nose, a slight hint of bubblegum (that fades instantly) on the tongue followed up with more banana and clove. Nothing screams "Summer!" louder than a strong German wheat on the patio. Except the time I sipped this and actually screamed "Summer!" I was several decibels louder than the can. The brewery also makes a dunkelweizen for the Winter months called Winterweiss, which marries all the best parts of a dark lager to a German wheat. Equally delicious except I am less a fan of the Winter months so the Summerweiss holds a, let's say, warmer place in my heart.

Every Spring, the brewery releases the Legendary Oddity
and every year, it's a slightly different tweak. This year, I
drank mine on May 6, the release date of Captain America:
Civil War. Cap looks pissed here. Why? He's mad at Iron
Man!!! Geez, do I have to explain the whole movie to you?

The Kirby Kolsch was just introduced this Summer to honour the late-Evans and lemme tell you this. Everyone I know who has brought the Summer Survivor Park has asked when the Kirby will be introduced in single cans, just as the other five already are. That's how much it's been enjoyed. (Good news - it's out in singles now!) While I believe peach puree was added into the brewing, you only get it faintly in the taste and you practically have to be thinking of it. But it's lightly citrus on the nose with some hop and malt on the tongue. Also a refreshing Summer beverage for the patio. The beer's honouree would be proud.

Every Spring, the brewery releases their Legendary Oddity and every year, it is quite different. I remember having it in a 650-ml (21 ounce) bomber a few years back and it had some cloying sweetness to it. Not this year. The 7.1% offering was spicy on the nose with more spice, Heather tips and orange on the tongue. It was a tasty little bugger. Went back for a few more for I, too, am an oddity.

This past winter, the brewery released a special
batch of their Winter Beard Double Chocolate
Cranberry Stout that had been aged in Tennessee
Whiskey Barrels for over a year. The result?
A 9% boozy, fruity and chocolatey explosion...

Had something very unique from these guys this past winter. They took their annual Winter Beard Double Chocolate Cranberry Stout from a few years back and aged it for a year in Tennessee Whiskey barrels. The result, which was very hard to find outside their Bracebridge retail shop, was Winter Jack, a distant relative of Mad Tom, I presume. As I had enjoyed Winter Beard for several years, this barrel aging added a whole new level to the game. It added a beautiful layer of bourbon to the aroma and taste of this 9% stout without stealing any of the chocolate. I remember feeling the warmness in my stomach as I had this at Rib Eye Jack's Ale House back in January. Outstanding!

Okay, before I sign off, a couple more things I like about one of my favourite brewers. On every bottle, they stamped quite clearly "Enjoy before" with the date. You can't miss it. Bright yellow letters. Could be orange as I'm colourblind. I probably should have just asked someone but that inevitably leads to the "So what colour is this?" game that colourblind people dislike intensely. So that lettering is yellow for the purpose of this column. (But maybe not.) That has helped me rescue a handful of Mad Toms and Twice as Mad Toms before their expiration date. And by rescue, I, of course, mean that poor beer was trapped in a bottle and I saved it from its glassy captivity. Not every hero wears a cape. Or in my case, underwear. Too much info? Sorry...

Well, yeah, sure, this sign will guide you into
the brewery but how do we know that it's not
one of those Hotel California deals where you
can never leave? Geez, that'd be pretty sweet

Another little thing I noticed about the brewery a while back was when I had a Mad Tom poured for me at Rib Eye Jack's about a year ago. All of the breweries on tap have their own glasses at the bar. So there I was innocently sipping on my Mad Tom when I noticed writing etched into the bottle of the pint glass. It was the company's motto: "Venture off the beaten path." I had enjoyed a pint of Mad Tom dozens (and dozens) of times at the bar in the past and never once noticed that writing on the bottom of the glass. Should they some day start handing out Nobel Peace Prize for Lack of Observation, frankly, I'm a lock. Although, let's face it, I probably won't notice I won anything.

And one last thing - and something the brewery should be proud of. On June 24, one day before their big 20th Anniversary Party at the brewery, they issued a media release declaring that they had become the first Ontario certified Living Wage employer and the first Canadian brewery to adopt a living wage for its employees. Unlike minimum wage, a "living wage" is based simply on the principle that full-time work at the brewery should provide financial security above the poverty line. All sorts of things are factored into living wage, mostly the cost of living, goods and services in the immediate region. In terms of being good bosses, these Muskoka guys have definitely ventured off the beaten path. Well done to one of my all-time favourite breweries. I wish I could be that giving. If the survival of a buddy depended on my willingness to share my Mad Tom, I would be weeping big hoppy tears at his graveside. Just sayin'. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain, as always...