The wild and wacky world of beer

Since Ethan Snow refuses to wear "The Anti-Beer-Juice-A-Tron
Mark 1," I simply got another part-timer to put the thing on for a
final photo before we pitched it. He didn't want to do it, either,
but relented when I offered him a Timmy's coffee and a doughnut.
As you can see in the photo, we went for a Game of Thrones theme

A very funny thing happened at my Beer Store last week. I had finished my shift and was happily piling into some Mad Tom IPA at home when co-worker Jay Dawg sent me a photo.

It was of my other co-worker Ethan Snow, wearing a cardboard creation called The Anti-Beer-Juice-A-Tron, Mark One - a protective outfit he created in about one minute after getting "juiced" at the can bin in the empties area. For the uninitiated, getting can juiced simply means getting splashed by the left-over, stale, often moldy or bug-infested beer left in cans by customers. Normally, it's not a huge concern and frankly, just part of the job that we all accept. If anything, it gives us all a very real appreciation of the workers who have to deal with these full bins of empty cans at the recycling plant once they leave our Beer Stores. We have it remarkably easy next to them.

But it seems Ethan got can-juiced pretty good and quickly created this protective outfit to keep the juice off him. I remember doing something similar once with green garbage bags after getting soaked with can juice one day. I mean, I got drenched and stunk pretty bad for the remainder of the day. I sat on a garbage bag on the drive home.

So I posted the picture of what I called The E-Bot 2000 on Facebook and lemme tell you, other Beer Store employees and former employees loved it. Especially young Steffers, now a full-time teacher and mother of two.

The first two months I worked with him, every
time I saw Ethan walk in, I'd yell, "Ethan Snow,
the bastard son of Edward Stark!!! You know
nothing!" So I got Stevil St Evil to superimpose
Ethan's face onto Jon Snow's body. An epic win!
Ethan is about one season behind in Thrones but
I guarantee you he will love this likeness of him
being the Lord Commander of the Night Watch!

Now, of course, no longer a Beer Store employee, Steffers has no problem speaking her mind. "People are so gross! This guy is my new favourite! I wish I thought of this in my Beer Store days!" However, come to think of it, Steffers had no problem speaking her mind when she was a Beer Store employee. I remember being at the cash and she had clearly got can-juiced. The customer who brought in the cans in two huge green garbage bags was long-gone but I was serving another customer when she screamed from the back, "This is so f**king nasty! People, drink or drain your f**king cans!!" I nervously chuckled at the customer and whispered, "She got in a huge fight with her husband and has been miserable for the whole shift." (She wasn't married at that time.) The customer just nodded and whispered, "Gotcha! I hear that, man."

But while Beer Store employees, past and present, applauded Ethan's ingenuity, one of my old high school buddies was clearly having a bad day. In full "You kids get off my lawn!!" old man with his pants halfway up his chest mode, he suggested that there were plenty of kids looking for part-time jobs out there if Ethan was tired of his. I simply shrugged his grumpy crap off as Ethan genuinely loves his job and is one of those rare frenetic kids who quite frankly can't stop moving. He's a pleasure to work with. The Flash but in dull gray. When Ethan comes in for a five-hour shift, it's like you get 10 hours of work out of him. But lemme tell you, my buddy's old man routine spooked Ethan.

Elora Brewing Company, my coworker Ethan
thinks this is the coolest label ever, especially from
a graphic design standpoint. Who am I to argue?

Worried he was going to somehow get into trouble because of my post, I reassured him, pointing out that even our Fearless Leader and President Ted had worked at Beer Stores in his youth and as such, likely remembers being can juiced. It just comes with the territory. And I had no problem defending Ethan against Grumpy's likely-booze-driven meanderings. Fortunately, something else came along to take Ethan's mind off Mr Get Off My Lawn Guy.

"Have you ever had Elora Brewing's Lady Friend IPA?" he asked me on Saturday. You know, when he slows down enough not to be a gray blur moving around me. Yeah, I told him, I had it at the 2016 Burlington Winter Beer Festival and it was quite good. "It won the silver at the Ontario Brewing Awards in the British Style IPA category," I said. (I don't even know why I walked into the kitchen just now but I remember this stuff?) Ethan marveled, "Isn't that like the best label ever?" Well, you have to understand this. Ethan took two years of arts at Toronto's Ontario College of Arts and Design University and is now in his fourth year in Oakville's Sheridan College Interior Design program. He takes art and design pretty seriously. I take beer pretty seriously. We have some common ground. Also, get out of my yard, Art Boy! I have no milkshakes for you!! (I know what frightens him now. A lack of milkshakes.)

Our Steam Whistle driver, Vince, has the coolest Bull
Terrier ever. His name is Paul From Shipping and
unlike me, he can balance a beer on his head. Just epic

So, from an art perspective, I asked him to explain why this was a great label. "Okay," he said very earnestly, "the characters' arms and shape lead towards the name at the top of the label. This draws the viewers' eyes towards it. The reduced level of detail, such as no facial features, by using large blocks of colour makes it more pleasing to the eye. The colours are basic, using primary colours and limited tertiary colours. These colours are not in your face but are still bold enough to demand you attention. The blue background and orange centre point compliment each other as well, pulling the composition together. The text is simple and clean, making it easy to read. Similar to the standard Arial or Helvetica - the most common fonts styles in the commercial world - but slightly elongated."

And then he actually pulled up colour wheels, which display complimentary colours, on his phone to show me. Me? The Colourblind Guy? Really? Are you effing kidding me? But that's Ethan. When he's enthusiastic, he jumps in with both feet pretty much to the point where he forgets his surroundings or who he's talking to. However, I will be asking Elora Brewing if their artist had any of this in mind. Probably did. And also, if Ethan can play on their lawn.

When I wrote about Great Lakes Brewing's Sunnyside
Session IPA a couple of weeks back, I joked about how
artist Garnett Gerry had his Lake Effects IPA character
Roland Baggetts wearing black socks with his sandals.
Moments later, social media dude Troy sent me this pic
on Twitter. These guys make the best beers and are pretty
funny on top of that. Ontario's craft beer scene rocks it!

I got a surprise visit at my Beer Store last week from my far-less-grumpy and much-funnier-than-me high school buddy and college roomie, Dennis. He and his wife, Kim, had just returned from a week at a beautiful cottage in the Gravenhurst area. When up there, I strongly urged him to visit Sawdust City Brewing, which has been cranking out some outstanding craft beers for the past couple of years.

Now I have never met Kim but with an invite to a huge backyard party at their place next weekend, it would appear I'm about to. Dennis told me I could bring a "plus-one". I explained my date dilemma. If I bring Miss May, she's great with the ladies, very friendly. But Miss September, well, she makes the guys happy to be alive... but women hate her. Not looking to cause any marital strife. Playboy Playmates are a tricky lot. But on the realistic side of the fence - the rare place where I actually talk about things within the realm of reality - I asked him about their Sawdust City finds.

Dennis and Kim kept trying them all "but Kim just kept
coming back to their (Gateway) Kolsch." Well, then, how
very handy that my Beer Store actually carries that beer!

"As you suggested, we tried them all. But we, especially Kim, kept going back to the (Gateway) Kolsch. She just loved it." Well, alrighty then, our store happens to stock those and since Dennis was there, he wandered home to Kim with an eight-pack. (Yes, an eight pack. Dennis refuses to adhere to the Metric System.) See you next weekend, man... with Miss February. She's completely non-threatening and very much shy. Except for the taking her clothes off in a national magazine thing. And Kolsch? We sell a dozen, all exceptional and different ones. Be ready, Kim. In my best Game of Thrones' King Edward voice... "Kolsch is coming." (Ethan just got a shiver.)

But there was one more thing. Dennis told me that Kim prefers bottles over cans. "Is there any difference?" he asked me. Yup, there totally is. And it's purely psychological.

When Stevil St Evil went to the Malthouse IPA Challenge in
Wellington, New Zealand, last week, it seems that Epic
Brewing down there had named an Imperial IPA... Thor?
Well, my Canadian/Asgardian Thor had something to say
about that. "What fowl treachery of Loki be this? A New
Zealand beer maker doth use mine name? The God of
Thunder drinks Ontario IPAs!" Said Muskoka Brewery
upon reading this base effrontery, "Confirmed." *Micdrop*

"Okay," I suggested. "Get a bottle and can of the same beer and do a blind taste test. Ask Kim to say which is the bottle and which is the can." The fact is she has a 50/50 chance of being right. But I saw a brewery's video from New Zealand where, despite those odds, people were actually 80/20 percent wrong. The thing is aluminum cans are lined with plastic. It preserves the taste. Now back in Dennis' and my day, cans were steel. And yes, there was a tinny taste. Now when I say "back in our day," well, let's just say my old college roomie and I remember when aluminum had to be preserved for the war effort. That's why steel was used. It was cheap, plentiful and an active ingredient in most of our food rations, as it builds iron. Society has evolved since then. And Kim, if you have not done the blind taste test by then, I promise you will be doing it next Saturday. But hey, I will sit beside you and try it, too! I'm fun at parties. Miss February says so. But truth to tell, she's Latvian so really, we have no clue what she's saying.

Okay, I'm back soon with all sorts of cool beer reviews as I'm miles behind but frankly, I just wanted to see if I could crank out two blogs in one day. Hah, turns out I can. Not good ones but still... And to write about Ethan because he's my friend and actually one of the cooler guys I know. Maybe he needed a moral boost. After explaining colour charts to a colourblind guy, he seems like he needs something. That's for sure. But remember this. Life basically starts with everyone cheering when you go poop. It kinda goes downhill from that point on, Ethan. Just saying. Okay, guys and dolls, that's it, that all and I am outta here! Until the next time, I remain...

Nickel Brook wins a... what is that?

Okay, so what the heck are the Elsie Awards? And what is the
"Made In Ontario" award that Nickel Brook Brewing won at the
Elsie Awards? These are questions I needed to have answered!!!

As always, it was my Nickel Brook Brewing homeboy, Tony Cox, who got the news to me. In a "look what we won!" text, he sent a picture of Nickel Brook's June 25th win of an Elsie Award.

What I said: "Whoa, that's awesome news, dude!"
What I thought, "Whoa, that's awesome news, dude, but what the hell is an Elsie Award?"

I mean, it's already been a heckuva year for awards for my hometown brewery on Drury Lane in Burlington. At the Canadian Brewing Awards in Richmond, BC at the end of May, they scooped up four medals. Their Raspberry Uber Berliner won gold for the best German Style Sour Ale. Then their Naughty Neighbour took silver in the North American Style Pale Ale while my much-beloved Headstock took silver in the American Style India Pale Ale. And finally, they nabbed a bronze for Immodest in the American Style Imperial India Pale Ale. (Coincidentally, Naughty Neighbour, Headstock and Immodest were in my "Best of 2015" column as the Best Triple Play for the brewery with, collectively, the best pale ale, IPA and Imperial IPA combo.)

But they weren't done yet. At the U.S. Open Beer Championships in Oxford, Ohio on July 11, they won a silver for their Bolshevik Bastard Imperial Stout in the British Imperial Stout division while their Continental Drift took silver in the Belgian Pale Ale category. Over 5,000 beers in 90 different styles were entered from all over the world.

In the TV show, Game of Thrones, the Great Wall is what
separates the North from the Wildings, the White Walkers
and the giants. It is 300 miles long. My backyard is a lot
smaller than that and frankly, I'm just looking to keep the
neighbours out. I think this wall of Headstock IPA will do.

But those weren't even my favourite Nickel Brook wins at the U.S. Open. No, every year, they pick the Top-10 Most Creative Beer Names and this year, Bolshevik Bastard took sixth. The winner? Middleton Brewing's (San Marcos, Texas) took the top spot with Wit or Wit Out You. Hop Dogma Brewing's There Gose My Heart made me laugh, too.

But that brings us back to the beginning. What is an Elsie? Well, turns out it the annual LCBO awards that go to breweries, distributors and writers not named Don. To wit, this is when the LCBO honours "its suppliers and their agents for innovation, creativity and commitment to customers service and social responsibility." Well, now I know what an Elsie is. That's pretty cool.

So Nickel Brook named their Cucumber-Lime Gose
after Ceres, the Roman Goddess of Agriculture, Grain
and Motherly Love. Now I don't put a lot of stock into
old Roman Mythology but if I did, I would say Ceres is
something of a Roman stone-cold smokeshow. I'd bow.

So you know, the Elsie refers to the LC in LCBO. They could have called them the Bee-Ohs, I suppose, but you want people to happily accept awards, rather than be insulted about potential body odor issues.

Still, the award Nickel Brook won is called "Made in Ontario." I wasn't sure what that meant. After all, I was also made in Ontario after one night when my Mom and Dad drank too much gin and... *gets visual image*... yeah, I really don't want to talk about that anymore because... gross reasons.

But of course, I have to find out what "Made in Ontario" means. So I picked up my this little portable computer in my hands because as it turns out, it can be used for more than just taking beer pictures, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and online Poker. I can actually telephone someone with it. (Why did no-one tell me this?)

And I called Genevieve Tomney, the LCBO Media Relations Coordinator to ask that very question. Resisting the urge to tell her this was an actual telephone call, as she seemed oddly familiar with the concept, I asked her, "What exactly is the Made In Ontario award?"

Okay, I am loving all these experimental beers coming out
of Nickel Brook now that their main line is brewed out of
Hamilton in the Arts and Sciences Brewery, shared with
Collective Arts. Head brewer Patrick is having some fun!
This is the Ceres Cucumber-Lime Gose on the left and the
Dreamsicle Vanilla Orange Pale Ale on the right. Coolio.

"Ah yes," she said. "Let me just go find the exact criteria and I'll call you right back." Well, okay, that seems fair enough.

Three minutes later, my camera and Facebook-thing rang. It was Genevieve with the answer. "The Made in Ontario award is about being a local commercial success. It's about having a great story and being a community builder. Using local ingredients. It has to be a bricks and mortar establishment. Really, it's about celebrating local achievement."

Well, hot damn. That's pretty impressive then. Having had my growlers filled there once or twice, okay, hundreds, fine, thousands of times with Headstock IPA, I can confirm it is, in fact, a bricks and mortar facility, complete with fermentation vats. And they definitely use Burlington water, the same water I bathe in because no one wants a Bee-Oh Award. However, like all breweries, they condition the water, adjusting the pH levels until it becomes "brewing water."

The aroma of coffee was SO strong when I opened the bottle
of Nickel Brook's Cafe Del Bastardo that I instantly switched
a beer glass for my Marvel superhero coffee mug. Nuff said.

Also if my growler fill numbers are causing you any concern, remember that I am supporting a local business. It's pretty damn noble, if you think about it.

And speaking of fermentation vats, it's no secret that Nickel Brook's shift into the old Lakeport Brewery in Hamilton, alongside Collective Arts Brewing, forming Arts and Science Brewing, has seen them easily able to keep up with demands for their core beers. After all, the new vats are 6,000-litres (1,585 US gallons) whereas the ones on Drury Lane are around 1,000 litres (264 gallons). So what's brewing on Drury Lane, you might ask? Well, folks, all whole lot of fun, crazy experimental beers, guided by the facility's Head Brewer Patrick. (Brewmaster Ryan is downtown Hamilton, watching over both Nickel Brook and Collective Arts' beers.) I know Patrick well from a night spent at the brewery last year as he showed me how to make beer, beginning to end. Brewing, it seems, is a whole lotta "Hurry up and wait." I don't have the patience. I just want the end product.

When a recent beer delivery brought two cases of Nickel
Brook's Headstock IPA, I knew it had to be a mistake but
was elated anyway. I told Sassy Cassy to guard it with her
life but in the end, the delivery dude came back and told
us it was slated for an LCBO in Milton. Well, that sucks!

But let's look at some of the latest to come out of Drury Lane. The Ceres Cucumber-Lime Gose (a style of sour beer) was actually Brewer Cam's brainchild and when the boys say these are brewed in their "Funk Lab." they're not kidding. This was very tart. On the nose, the 4% beer is all lime but on the tongue, you get that lime, plus the cucumber and then a healthy dollop of Himalayan sea salt. This might be the saltiest beer I've ever tried though I may have to drink a few more to be certain. But its lightness screamed Summer Sipper, which was the intent. "I love the play of sour, salty and fruity flavours in this beer," said Brewer Cam in a release. "It's a really unique, refreshing beer. Perfect to beat the heat of the Summer."

The Dreamsicle Orange Vanilla Pale Ale sounds as gimmicky as hell. But the beer itself was not. I expect tons of sweetness as lactose sugar was used in the mix but it was surprisingly tangy. The orange is there both on the nose and tongue but the 4.1%, 25 IBU (international bitterness units) beer was subtle with both the orange and vanilla. Yes, it's there but fainter than I thought it would be. And a Summer Sipper? For sure!

When Beer Bro Glenn bought his first ever grocery
store beer in Oshawa late last year, he went straight
for the good stuff. Whenever he visits, I always make
sure I have at least one full growler of Headstock IPA
on hand because Glenn loves the smell of the fresh
batch I get directly from the brewery. Finestkind!

"This beer is my childhood Summer memories in liquid form," says Brewer Patrick. "Eating a melting popsicle on the front porch on a warm Summer night, that was the idea we had when we designed this beer."

But the biggest beer to come out of the Funk Lab? No doubt it's Cafe Del Bastardo, a huge imperial Stout busting with flavour. So what these Funky Cold Medina Mad Scientists did was take their Bolshevik Bastard Imperial Stout and aged it in Kentucky bourbon barrels? Wait! Isn't that how they make their Kentucky Bastard Imperial Stout? Yes, usually, but this time they also threw in coffee beans, supplied by Detour Coffee Roasters, direct from Los Idolos, Colombia. This ain't your crappy "Folger's in a cup," kids. These are primo coffee beans! The smell of coffee was so overpowering when I took the cap off that I immediately put away the beer glass and poured it into my Marvel superhero coffee mug instead. Holy geez, this was outstanding! Coffee and bourbon on the nose with more coffee, bourbon, vanilla and chocolate on the tongue. At 12% and 70 IBUs, I made one mistake with this beer. I didn't share it. In that big 750-ml (25 ounce) bottle, that was the equivalent of about five beers in one half-hour sip fest. I think I muttered "Bastardo!" at my own recklessness when I went to stand up and got wobbly on the patio. Remember Bambi trying to stand up on the ice and that little A-hole Thumper laughing at him? Yeah, that was me.

The ever-helpful Megan models the latest baseball
cap from Nickel Brook, now available in the retail
shop. Having just bought a 2014 Ford Focus hatchback
she was relieved to hear that I hadn't had a lick of
trouble with my 2007 Focus hatchback. (Both black!)
Since she has the sad misfortune of being my newest
growler pourer, I'm glad to give her some good news,

Beer writing buddy Drunk Polkaroo saw my picture on Instagram and instantly chimed in, "I loved this beer. So much coffee love!" And I'll wager he was smart enough to share his.

But my main man, Tony, had a bunch more brewery news for me. Tony says, according to brewery owner John Romano, the brewery's Headstock IPA, Green Apple Pilsner and Cause and Effect Blonde Ale are among the Top-Ten sellers in grocery store sales with Naughty Neighbour Pale Ale checking in at 12th. I have no idea if John is just talking about their placing within craft beers listed at the grocery stores or all beers listed there. I suspect it has to be the former... but hey, who cares? Point is they're doing well. I would have had my doubts about that Green Apple Pilsner but the speed at which Molson's Mad Jack Apple Lager and Bud Light Apple fly out of my Beer Store tells me that style definitely has its audience and the Nickel Brook version came out years before the mainstream ones. I'm not a fan but hey, you brew what sells. Apple juice and beer come in two very separate containers in the fridge at Donny's Bar and Grill. And I have a deal with my son. I won't touch his apple juice (or Pop Tarts or cookies) if he doesn't touch my beers. That's working well for us.

The other big news was the July 1st opening of the Beergarden at the Arts and Sciences Brewery at the 207 Burlington Street East location in Hamilton.

I had GOT to get to this Beergarden. Tony Cox says
it's great. Drunk Polkaroo and Mrs Polkaroo say it's
great. According to Google Maps, it's like 16 minutes
away. I will get there soon - there's beers to consume!

Open Thursdays 4 to 9 pm, Fridays and Saturdays 11 am to 10:30 pm and Sundays 11 am to 8 pm, the Beergarden is one of the latest hot-spots in the Hammer and features six beers from each brewery, as well as food trucks, live music and tons of fun events.

Anyway, I was going to end this with an uber-cool video made about Nickel Brook for the Elsie Awards because that would all tie in nicely to the beginning, right? It was on Vimeo and was really excellent. Nickel Brook founders John and Peter Romano explaining how they built the brewery from the ground up. Even though it was only six minutes long, I laughed... I cried... it was better than Batman vs Superman. Much better, actually. The entire theme didn't change just because someone uttered the name Martha. But just as I was about to attach the link, it disappeared. I'd watched it like four times. Some of the info here came from it. What the hell, Vimeo? Well, I'm not letting some scumbag website beat me out. Not when I have the entire Internet at my disposal! So I found an even better one where Matt Gibson takes his Sounds Like Beer web-show to Nickel Brook and interviews John about their humble beginnings. So you can view that right here at: Matt Gibson Kicks Vimeo's Girly-Man Ass! So before I go, I want to remind other parents that every gift from your child is precious. Except that time my son brought me a handful of dandelions from the front lawn. I tossed those disgusting weeds in the trash the second his little head was turned. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...

When David visited Rib Eye Jacks

Hey, buddy, ready to go eat some wings?
"Oh yeah!" Ain't nothing my boy loves
more than wings and fries. Except steak.
Yeah, no DNA test needed here, Maury...

I remember getting a call at work one night. It was my ex-wife and son David's Mom. She had a pretty serious emergency on her hands.

"David just asked me a comic book question and I don't know the answer..." Well, no kidding. If you asked my ex to even name a comic book character, after Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman, she's pretty much lost. Even then, if you asked her to list Superman's powers, she'd shrug and probably say, "He can fly, right?" I believe she tolerated my comic book addiction when we were a couple simply because I tolerated her getting her way 100% of the time. Also, it seems I had little choice. Guys know what I'm talkin' about.

Back to David's comic book question. After researching Supergirl online all day, he wanted to know how Kryptonite affected her. Okay, so a pretty serious Father-Son talk... if like he and myself, you're seriously immersed in the superhero world. So I took my break and sat down in the office to talk. "Supergirl is Superman's cousin. On Krypton, their fathers were brothers. So Kryptonite has the same effect on her as him. Green Kryptonite can kill them both."

But I knew he wasn't done with me yet as every question David asks is followed up by a huge arsenal of back-up questions. No wonder his Mom was flummoxed.

David had a chance to meet co-worker Jay-Dawg and
sweet Cara when we stopped in to Rib Eye Jack's.
And they watched him consume a mountain of food.

"What about all the other colour Kryptonites?" he asked. Okay, this is why I instinctively took my break. The follow-up questions. So I ran through all the Kryptonites. Off the top of my head, there were about 10 Kryptonites other than green in total, some with pretty bizarre effects, even by comic book standards. Keep in mind too that I'm colourblind so if Superman was actually trapped between Green Kryptonite, which actually kills him and Red Kryptonite, which just makes him lose his inhibitions and moral compass, well, he'd be screwed if he was counting on me. I'd be yelling, "Goddammit, dude, just point to the right one!"

So with all his questions answered, he was happy to go on with his night while I went back to work. But that, in essence, is Daddy's job. Mom is there for all the serious stuff - school, social interaction, proper nutrition, clubs and camps - y'know, the big ticket items. Daddies, we're all about comic books, superhero movies, piggyback rides, junk food and not telling Mom the things we did - y'know, the fun stuff. Mostly because we're still big kids ourselves. Those are the parenting cards as they are dealt. Blame society, not me.

Ah yes, the reason I brought David to Rib Eye Jack's.
So he could meet Tiffers, who has been quite insistent
on a meeting for a while. There ya go - wish granted!

But the thing is David and I are pretty tight. Whereas I come from a long line of people who probably aren't that thrilled to be related to me (yeah, I'm looking at you, Uncle Bob, you racist old bastard), David seems pretty happy with me as his Daddy. As such, David appears on my Facebook feed quite often so he gets a lot of attention from others. One of the most notable is Tiffers, aka Tiffany, who is one of my favourite pieces in the Rib Eye Jack's Ale House puzzle. Tiffers was quite insistent I bring David in as she was dying to meet him. So a few Saturdays back when I had him, I promised we'd stop in. But a problem arose when his Mom wanted him back Saturday morning, instead of the traditional Sunday. Now here's the trick with co-parenting. You have to pick your battles very carefully! I thought about pushing to hang onto him so I could keep my promise to Tiffers but in the end, I decided "But I really wanted to take our son to a bar tonight!" was likely a weak defence. So I explained that to Tiffers. She wasn't mad. No, she was... disappointed. Geezus, is that chestnut in the Mother Handbook? And it is the biggest guilt trip you can lay on a dude. Tiffers isn't even my Mom and I still felt as guilty as shit!

Watching my son at play with the ladies.  He schmoozes,
he charms them, he plays them with his lady-killer self.
I have NO idea where he got that mad skill. Not from me.

So you can bet your ass that when I had David last week, I made sure he landed at Rib Eye Jack's. My tolerance for guilt trips is once a month. As we arrived, my coworker Jay-Dawg and little spitfire server Cara were just leaving. They promptly did a 180 and joined us in the corner booth. Oddly, despite our long-time shared history over the past 11 years, Jay had never met David, something neither of us could believe. However, they did have one connection. "Remember when I worked for Willie? That guy I worked with, Jonny, is Jay's brother," I told David. He immediately lit up and told Jay, "Your brother is a great man!" While Jay laughed that "I don't think anyone has ever referred to him that way before," it was pretty clear David remembered the huge, enthusiastic reaction he always got from Jonny when visiting. They were like best buds.

The Cameron's Brewmaster Selection Pack!
Comes from Oakville, just like my son David!
I was chopping at the bit to get this four-pack
as it has two new beers in it, including an IPL.

So at Rib Eye Jack's, David did what David does. He made his patented "lady killer" googly eyes at a giggling Cara when she let her hair down. He happily gifted a Brock Street Double Vision IPA to both Jay and my beer technician Kylie. And Tiffers? Well, she got her hugs. And then some. "OMG, I love him!" she texted me afterwards. "I love how he calls you Daddy, not Dad. He is precious! I tried not to be too excited so I didn't scare him." Hah, not a concern with that boy. When he and I went to our friend Amy's birthday party a month ago, he plunked himself in the middle of a living room full of 40-year-old women and happily opened with, "So, ladies, how is everyone tonight?" When it was time to leave, I told him to say his goodbyes and there was an actual line-up of women to give him hugs. Watching the scene beside me was Dan from the Beer Store Draught Services who simply asked me, "Can I borrow him sometime?" The next time I returned to Rib Eye Jack's, all the ladies said the same thing. "He's a real charmer."

Okay, now since my little lady-killer was born in Oakville, let's look at an Oakville brewery today, shall we?

I've seen a lot of great beer pictures on this Instagram, Twitter
and Facebook this summer but this one of Cameron Captain's
Log Lager by beer writing buddy Drunk Polkaroo is, by far,
the best. Taken at a cottage, he said it took over 20 tries between
 himself and wife Kathryn before they finally nailed this picture.

That would be our good friends at Cameron's Brewing on Invicta Drive. Recently, they released their Brewmaster's Selection Four-Pack and I was on it like a fat kid chasing a wheel of cheese down a hill. (Okay, that's some bizarre imagery... even for me.) The reason? The pack contained two new Cameron's beers, their One Eyed Grouse English Style Ale and the one I really wanted, their 12 Mile India Pale Lager. The two core beers, the Captain's Log Lager and Ambear Red Ale were already hugely familiar to me.

I've told the lager story before in this space but here's the Reader's Digest version. Years ago, brought 12 Labatt Blue to a party. After I had a few, they vanished completely. The host says, "There's a beer fridge with leftovers in the basement. Help yourself." I go down, open the fridge, up front is a Cameron's Lager so I try it. It's a lot like Blue but with something else there. Turns out years later, I realize that something was flavour. End of story. There's always a can or two in my fridge, as well as other Summer Sippers, if I want a break from an IPA Day. (Doesn't happen often but does happen.)

Another cottage beachfront picture from Twitter, this
time of Cameron's Cosmic Cream Ale. While not
included in the Brewmaster's Selection Pack, this
beer has won 16 awards at the Ontario Brewing
Awards, the Canadian Brewing Awards and the US
Open Beer Championships in the last 10 years...

The Ambear Red Ale, formerly their Auburn Ale, has long been my Cameron's favourite, alongside their outstanding Rye Pale Ale. Using Cascade hops, this 5% baby packs some unexpected citrus to the nose with a smooth but tangy presence on the tongue. Love a good dark ale and this is one of the best.

The One-Eyed Grouse English Style Ale was a really nice surprise for me. This beer is a nod to Brewmaster Jason's desire to create a true British-style pale ale - so malts before hops, right? I was surprised when it poured a deep orange (I expected a paler colour) and had a bit of fruitiness on the nose. Tasted slightly hoppier than I expected but really on the tongue was mostly the malt-and-yeast combo for which British ales are famous. I have a buddy who quaffs British standard Old Speckled Hen regularly and I wanna throw one of these 4.9% ales at him to see if I can bring him to the Canadian side of the big pond. I also just wanna throw a beer at him. He's quite sluggish and sloth-like so I think I can nail him but good.

As that brings us to the 12-Mile India Pale Lager, the one I was truly after. I have only had two IPLs before - one from Creemore's Mad and Noisy outfit called Hops and Bolts, which I enjoyed and one from BC outfit Parallel 49 called Hoparazzi, which was less to my liking. So as a style, I'm still waiting to be sold.

Cameron's President and Co-Owner Bill Coleman, left,
holds up a Captain's Log Lager while long-time Oakville
MPP Kevin Flynn cheers with a Ambear Red Ale at a
recent event celebrating something I can't remember...

Okay, then, "transaction completed" as this IPL effectively made the score 2-1 for the IPLs. Fruit and citrus on the nose with just a wee touch of bitterness and tons of lager smoothness, this 5.2% brew is a delightful combination of the punchy IPA and easy-drinking lager styles. Guys and gals, all of the four were great but this made the pack!

One other thing I admire about Cameron's and it's a small thing, really. But then, life can often be found in the smallest of gestures, can't it? When I post pictures of beers from other Ontario craft breweries on Instagram, Cameron's media maven Jenny is pretty quick to "like" many of them. I think that's cool to be a player in the industry but still show your support for others. That, my friends, is the Spirit of Ontario Craft Beer.

And finally, to bring this all back to where I started this column with my boy, David. I remember we were out to dinner that night when his Mom told me she was pregnant. At first, I was shocked and not sure I was ready to be a father. That is, until I stood up, walked over to the restaurant's far wall and adjusted their thermostat to a lower, more reasonable setting. When the other diners stared at me in disbelief, I simply yelled, "Oh, put on a goddamn sweater if you're so cold!" Turns out I actually passed the Could-You-Be-A-Father Exam within seconds. Next up, I catch up with my homeys at Nickle Brook and check out more Summer Sippers like the ones from Cameron's. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...

.

A quick stop at Brock Street Brewing

Two of the reasons my son, David, likes visiting his
Uncle Johnny and Aunt Trish in Whitby. Number
one, he gets to hang out with my goddaughter, Julia,
and number two, they have a sweet pool. Those are
both good reasons. But now I have another reason...

It's always fun to catch up with my old pal, Johnny. For starters, we grew up in the same neighbourhood so we've known each other since we were five or six years old.

That was many, many years ago now. (Johnny and I stopped counting quite some time back.) Suffice it to say, he and I have gotten into a fair bit of trouble over the years. Nothing so serious that we've landed in jail, mind you. Well, okay, maybe once in the tiny hamlet of Hamburg, New York many decades ago but we weren't actually in jail. You see, my Dad's business had a couple of delivery vans and once every few months, a bunch of us guys (and women a couple of times) would pile into these vans, cross the US border and party our brains out in New York State. We probably hit every bar between Buffalo and Niagara Falls over the course of a few years. I feel certain none of them were sad to see us leave.

But one time, the drunken lot of us stopped at a tiny gas station that was also a restaurant on our way home. Guys stumbled into the place for a pit stop while I gassed up. Once everyone was collected up, off we went. Five minutes later, I was pulled over. The officer said that he had received a phone call, saying one of us had torn an antenna off a car, followed by "Would you please follow me to the police station?"

Well, okay, then, we certainly made
ourselves at home in a Hamburg
Police Station many years ago...

Well, okay, Officer, your call. So I followed him for a few miles and pulled up to one of the tiniest little buildings I had ever seen in the middle of nowhere. This "police station" was like something out of the Andy Griffith Show. A front desk, two jail cells... and nothing else. So there were 16 of us, drunk as skunks (I was driving so not quite so much) and him. Any guesses how that went for the poor officer? While I was talking to him at his tiny desk, explaining that none of us had taken an antenna (as antennas are cheap and plentiful in Canada), laughing guys were opening filing cabinets, singing O Canada in the two unlocked jail cells and getting their pictures taken in there. One guy snatched his hat off of his head for pictures. And man, we were loud! Drunken Canadians are not meant for confined spaces. Finally, he said, "Okay! Enough! Get these jackasses out of here and never come back! Now please!"

Well, how about that? Look what's located five minutes
away from my buddy Johnny's house! I see a couple more
Summer visits to his place this year. For friendship, right?

He didn't seem to enjoy our company at all... Very odd.

So yeah, while Johnny and I have been to a jail, we were actually asked not to stay. If you think about it, that's much trickier than actually landing in jail. A skill of sorts, really. But time passes and Johnny kept moving as his family grew, finally settling in Whitby, an equal distance on the other side of Toronto from me. So maybe an hour and 15 minutes away if I use the usually-empty 407 toll highway that arches north over Toronto, bypassing all that nasty traffic. A couple of times a year, my boy, David, and I try to make the trek out there so he can visit with his Uncle Johnny and Aunt Trish, as well as their daughters, Melissa and Julia. Always a wonderful trip. David and Julia swim in the pool while Johnny and I sit on the patio, catching up. Johnny is one of those rare friends where if you don't see him for a year, you just get together and pick up where exactly you left off. I have a few of those so I'm a pretty lucky guy. But last Summer, I missed the trip to Whitby as the entire lot of us got together at a cottage supplied by his boss at Parkside Beach off Lake Simcoe, just north of Barrie, instead.

Hey, Daddy, look at these big old fermenting
tanks inside Brock Street Brewing! The sweet
girl at the counter told us to wander in and
check out the equipment in the back. We did.

Of course, we had an awesome time as no Canadian ever turns down a free cottage. It's like saying "no" to beer, poutine or free rides on a moose. David, Julia and her dance troupe friends happily swam in Lake Simcoe while Johnny and I drank beers on shore and caught up. We missed Trish by a day and, well, Melissa is in university now so being trapped in a cabin with us parents is about as appealing as eating chalk and vinegar in a bowl for breakfast. (Trust me, Melissa, your Dad and I totally get that. We remember.)

But by not going to Whitby last Summer, it seemed I missed something. Last Spring, Brock Street Brewing set up shop and David and I missed a potential visit. I'm not sure how many beers they had at that point - likely only a small handful - but that's cool. Now, for the record, I have come across Brock Street Brewing on my own turf. They were at the Burlington Winter Beer Festival back in January and even then, I reported that the young turks manning the booth were a crap-ton of fun. They had brought a miniature ping-pong table about a yard (or a metre) long and were taking on all comers. After reporting on that here, as well as their outstanding Brock Street Irish Red Ale, I guess I got on their radar because when they got a mini-Foosball table a couple of months back, they called me out on Facebook with a Foosball challenge. I passed because Whitby is a long drive to lose at yet again another sport. But I appreciated the challenge. These guys and gals love to rock it out.

Some fresh Brock Street Brewing beer straight from the
brewery? Don't mind if I do. That's their Blonde Ale as a
crown on top of two of their Porters and four of their
Double Vision IPAs. The girls there were super friendly.

This time, when we visited, I made no mistake. Before we left, I showed Johnny where Brock Street Brewing was on Google Maps and he laughed, "That's right around the corner." It was literally five minutes away. Oh well, then, world's shortest road trip! David was game because he loves the big shiny tanks in these places. (Being easily distracted by shiny objects comes from my side of the family. I wish I could say it was a strength.) And off we went...

After the arduous 300-second drive, we arrived. "You won't be able to miss it," said Johnny. "On your left. Big sign." Ironically, Brock Street Brewing is on Hopkins Street, although they have an application into City Hall to relocate in a new building at Brock and Dunlop Street downtown. Following them on Facebook, I have watched them clear hurdle after red tape hurdle. It's getting closer. But for now, I kinda like the set-up on Hopkins.

Two young ladies were working at the front counter and as I made my purchase, one smiled sweetly at David, waved to the back and said, "Do you want to go in there?

Working the Saturday afternoon crowd who
were in and enjoying flights of their beer. 

My son flew back there like a shot. He also gets that from Daddy. I'm a little prouder of that. So we checked the place out. Great set-up for a small brewery increasingly getting noticed and lauded on the Ontario craft brewing landscape. At the recent Ontario Brewing Awards, that Irish Red won gold for the Best Dark Ale. On top of that, they were declared the Newcomer Of The Year. A damn good year for a brewery that's geographically located on the wrong street, I'd say.

Having already snagged their Blonde Ale from a local LCBO, I grabbed four of their Double Vision Double IPA and a pair of their Porter. But before I left, the nice young lady at the counter handed me four coupons for a free three-beer flight. "When you're back visiting your friend," she smiled. Okay, that's cool because basically it's like "Go roam at will through our home and hey, when you come back, why not drink some of our beer for free?" Talk about making a guy feel at home. These guys now rock at a Volume-11 Level. They're treading heavily in Spinal Tap territory. But, you know, good.

So how were their beers? Pretty impressive as I picked three that are all very different styles. So let's start with the lightest and work our way up to their bigger ones. Because "That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, we like it..."

Beer writing buddy, Paul The Beer Guy, took this cool shot
of two Double Vision Double IPAs poured into a one-litre
(34 ounce) Brock Street Brewing boot. Quadruple vision?

Okay, the Blonde Ale's on deck. As mentioned in this space before, I tend to shy away from blondes ales simply because I consider most to be kissing cousins to mainstream lagers. But the colour and the haziness on this one told me it likely had more oomph. And it did. Floral on the nose and some great carbonation tingle on the tongue, they was some light lemon in the aftertaste. At 4.3%, you could still operate heavy machinery (but probably shouldn't) so it's a pretty solid Summer Session Sipper.

The Double Vision Double IPA poured a really nice copper colour, as you can see from Paul The Beer Guy's picture, but the pine on the nose was mixed with some grassiness that gave this more of a single IPA vibe. On the tongue, it was a total malts vs hops battle, caramel but still bitter. At 7.5% and I'm guessing 75-80 IBUs (international bitterness units), this was a solid beer. I gifted a pair of these to friends before I even tried one because it's all about beer sharing.

Okay, this bad boy right here??? That's what I'm talkin'
about!!! This Porter at just 5.1% was really outstanding!!

Which brings us to their Porter! *Ding, ding, ding!* Ve haf a weiner, as a German guy might (or might not) say. Surprisingly light at just 5.1%, this porter had no outside flavouring, meaning it wasn't goosed by either fruit flavours or barrel-aging. Just a straight up, stand-alone porter. And stand, it did. Beautiful roasted malts and bittersweet chocolate on the nose with a lot more chocolate and a bitter bite on the tongue. This is a porter that's completely true to its style and was, hands down, my favourite of the three.

Johnny, I will be back. I have four free flights of delicious Brock Street beer waiting for me. Granted, only one per visit is the rule and it's a good one. The Halton Police already know me well enough. I'd prefer to stay somewhat anonymous to the Durham Police. Also, we're never allowed back in Hamburg, New York but that's fine. Other small New York hamlets have gas stations. It's all good. So we'll be back to Whitby, well, hopefully soon. On a Deteriorated Scale, my liver is probably about halfway between Ozzy Osbourne and Charlie Sheen. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until the next time, I remain...

Stairway to Summer Sippers...

♫ Here we come... walking down the street... ♫ Wait, that
one's taken? Hmm, we'll try something else instead, okay?

In case you missed it, sometime in late-June, rock legends Led Zeppelin were found not guilty of plagiarizing the opening riff of "Stairway To Heaven" from a little-known ditty called "Taurus" written by even lesser-known band called Spirit.

It was a big deal court case which actually only involved the two members of Led Zeppelin whose names were attached to the song - singer Robert Plant and guitarist Jimmy Page. Thus bass player John Paul Jones was excused from the lawsuit proceedings as was drummer John Bonham, whose health has not seen much of an upswing since his death in 1980.

Strangely, "Taurus" songwriter Randy Wolfe, who died in 1997, had been told on numerous occasions about the similarities and had just shrugged them off. He didn't care.

"Okay, if we stole from Spirit, how come we have our
own private jet and they're touring in a '68 Volkswagen
van? I mean, we're kind of a big deal in the rock world."
And could no one buy Robert Plant a shirt with buttons?

So who did care? Well, that would be his "estate", meaning distant relatives who thought they could earn themselves some easy money off Led Zeppelin's best-known song.

When the jury heard both songs, they decided the similarities weren't substantial enough to warrant handing millions of dollars to Wolfe's estate and tossed the case out. But I suspect the testimony at this proceeding must have been interesting.
Defence Lawyer: Yes, we concede the opening riff has some vague similarities but does this 'Taurus' song make any mention of hobbits, vikings, ice giants or gnomes of any sort? These are all staples of Led Zeppelin songs.
Estate Witness: No, I don't believe so.
Defence Lawyer: How about sex? Lots of sex in Led Zeppelin songs.
*Page and Plant snicker like school boys.*
Estate Witness: No. No mention of sex.
Defence Lawyer: Does 'Taurus' make any mention of... (looks at lyrics sheet) uhhh, "a bustle in your hedgerow" at all?

I feel like this is being made harder than it has
to be. I mean, there's a Highway to Hell but I
have to hike up all these damn steps to get up
there? No escalator, no elevator, no nothing??

Estate Witness: I don't even know what that means?
*Everyone in court turns and looks at Robert Plant*
Robert Plant: Not sure myself. I was pretty high for all of 1971. It probably made more sense at the time. Perhaps a hobgoblin said it to me in a dream?

And with that damning cross-examination, the case was pitched in the trash bin where it belongs. So good for Led Zeppelin, proving after 45 years of accusations that all that glitters sometimes is gold. Well, except for glitter itself, which is actually aluminized plastic. Whoa... irony.

Okay, that's it for the musical portion of today's outing so let's take a stairway to the beer portion. I found myself in an awkward position the other day when co-worker Marie brought me four beers from Block 3 Brewing in St Jacobs. One small problem. There was no room in my fridge. Yeah, there's a bit of food in there because my son, David, is with me. But not too much. I mean, it's not like the kid pays rent. No, in actual fact, there was an excessive amount of single beers in there. The fact is I will always grab a six-pack of one of my Beer Store's IPAs (Mad Tom, Twice as Mad Tom, Smashbomb Atomic, Finestkind or Ransack the Universe) on my way out the door, But I will often stop at the LCBO to find new singles of craft beer we don't sell. Believe me when I say they can build up quickly.

The Collective Arts 3X2 Summer Sampler includes their
Hefe Weizen wheat, their Gose sour and their Papaya
Saison. All of these were Summer beers and I was eager!

In order to thin the herd a little and make room for the Block 3 beers, it would seem I'd have to make the ultimate sacrifice and clear out a number of those singles through the treacherous means of consumption. As the thermometer climbed past the 30C (86F) mark this past week, many of the Summer Sippers that were taking up prime real estate in the fridge at Donny's Bar and Grill would pay the price.

Okay, there was one thing in my fridge that would free up plenty of space quickly. That would be the Collective Arts Brewing's (Hamilton) 3X2 Summer Sampler. That's six bottles of three different styles of Summer beers that, well, go down remarkably smooth. Before I even tried it, I called the Papaya Saison as the potential favourite. So was it? Well, let's see...

The Hefe Weizen was, as expected, big banana and either peach or pear (I couldn't tell which) on the nose with more banana and some nice tartness on the tongue. Definitely a nice 5.5% smooth sipper. Love a good German wheat!

Well, you just know a session IPA from Great
Lakes Brewery is gonna be good and of course,
the Sunnyside Session IPA was no exception.

The 5.2% Gose was a really nice surprise. If this is any indication, goses are a much lighter style of sour beer than my previously-sampled lambics, berliner weisses or barrel-conditioned ones. I was a Gose virgin. A wheat ale, this was lightly spiced, more tart than sour to me. There was a taste in the background that was confusing me so I looked at the box. Turns out that was Himalayan sea salt. That's a first. It made this very different but still quite tasty. Also the label helpfully pointed out it was pronounced gose-ah, not goh-se as I had been doing. Schooled by a label again. That brings us to the 6% Papaya Saison. To be honest, I wasn't sure I'd ever had papaya in my life before. The second I smelled this, I knew I had. Probably on vacation somewhere. So yeah, papaya on the nose, more papaya and light fruit on the tongue with a very dry finish. And yeah, it was my favourite of the three though I would happily drink any of them again.

I grabbed a six for co-worker, Jay-Dawg, as the LCBO nearest me in Burlington was the only one stocking it at that time (that has since changed) and he was equally impressed.

Look at the colour on this Lake Wilcox Brewing
Mad Quacker Vienna Lager!! Yes, of course, this
style is meant to be a darker hue but that just tells
you that you are in for one deep, rich tasting lager

"Did you notice they all kinda had the same taste?" he noted. Well, yes and no. I knew what he meant because all three were very light tasting even though a 6% saison suggests otherwise. But yeah, all three were easy Summer Sippers, for certain. Still, when I asked him his favourite and he instantly replied, "Oh, the Papaya Saison, for sure!" it was clear they had their discernable differences. While I have already declared the Muskoka Mix-Six Summer Survival Sampler to be the best mixed pack around these day, the Collective Arts' 3X2 definitely has Summer written all over it. And yet, the word is not mentioned on the packaging anywhere. These are crazy times.

In the GTA region, there has probably been no beer this Summer that's received the kind of word of mouth that Great Lakes Brewing's Sunnyside Session IPA has. It was all over Twitter, Facebook and Instagram the second it came out and even prior to that. Highly anticipated would be severely understating the case. It took me a couple of weeks to catch up to the others but truth to tell, that's about the distance I'd be behind in an actual running marathon so...

The folks at Black Oak Brewing in Toronto are
definitely going for a Summer Sipper when they
took this Belgian Wit and named it Beat The Heat

Simply put, this met the hype. Pouring a beautiful hazy gold, there was nothing but citrus on the nose. On the tongue, I got lemon instantly but a few sips in was a little bit of pineapple, too. At just 3.9% and a stunningly low 25 IBUs (international bitterness units), this packs a real IPA flavour. I would love to try this side-by-side with their Citradiction Pale Ale from a few years back. It clocked in at just 4.4% with a 40 IBUs and was a delicious session single hop APA. And, of course, Sunnyside featured Garnett Gerry's beloved cartoon character Roland Baggetts from the Lake Effects IPA label. And yes, he wear socks with his sandals and you won't care...

First beer out of the gate from our new friends at Lake Wilcox Brewing was their Mad Quacker Vienna Lager. Like most Viennas, this was a full-bodied reddish beer. Just 4.7%, the dark fruits and breadiness on the nose is countered by a thicker caramel and toffee finish. This is one heavy lager. Contract-brewed out of Railway City in St Thomas, I paired this with a roast pork and swiss cheese sandwich. 

When my buddy, Easy E, bought this carved bear for his trailer
at Lawson Park in Flamborough, I noticed that it had a convenient
beer holder for my Mad Tom IPA. Turns out, according to his lady
and my coworker Marie, that's actually a "pot holder." Oh, I'm not
really a pot smoker so I used it for beer, instead. And I don't know
much about the drug culture but isn't that an obvious hiding spot?
Well, unless there is another kind of pot that I don't know about...

A delicious lunch on both ends!!! Nice job, Lake Wilcox Brewing on your first beer.

I asked Lake Wilcox what was next on Instagram and they got back quickly, thanking me first before adding, "Our second style is currently available. It's out 'Wilcox Black Hops' Black IPA. We are currently working on our APA and Craft Lager. Please visit our new brewery in Vaughan, opening in August." Hey, a contract brewer no more! Very cool.

Okay, let's wrap this up with one from our pals at Black Oak Brewing in Etobicoke. Lest you have any doubts it's a Summer Sipper, this Belgian Wit is actually called Beat The Heat. So yeah, there's that small clue if you can crack the code. While I much prefer German weisses, a few Belgian wheats have impressed me lately and this 4.5% brew was one. As expected, some coriander on the nose but also some sort of citrus and breadiness. On the tongue, the anticipated orange rind but also quite dry and tart. I liked it. The style is warming on me a little but strong examples, such as this one, go a long way for that.

So is there room in fridge for those Block 3 beers yet? Well, I had to clear out another half dozen Summer Sippers because, ooops, more Ransack The Universe IPA fell into there by accident. It happens. But that's the Summer. I realized how much we are preoccupied with the heat (and cold) when a local TV weatherman came into my Beer Store and I realized I had no idea how to make small talk with him. "Man, it sure is hot out ther... ummm, so beer, that's some crazy good shit. Am I right?" Well, guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!!! Back in a few with more Summer Sippers but until then, I remain...