An overload of new bosses

Steam Whistle Brewing co-founders Greg Taylor and
Cam Heaps are now among my new bosses. I should
probably tell them that ordering me to "drink more
beer!" is the best way to assure employee compliance
 in my case. I'm a good soldier, given the right orders.

If you've read this little horse and pony show more than once, you likely have come to realize that I am a Beer Store employee. Not a particularly effective or efficient one, mind you, but I have an employee number and I show up at the place 40 hours a week so I guess I qualify in some small capacity. My immediate boss and I can't quite pinpoint what my function is other than "the guy the others send any customer interested in trying craft beer to" but who knows when you're on the brink of discovery, right? But she's not my only boss. I have many more. There's the boss above her and another above that and then countless people in head office right up to our Fearless Leader Ted Moroz. So I have a lot of bosses.

But even my bosses have bosses and they would be the Beer Store owners, Molson's, Labatt and Sleeman. Because those owners are now foreign-owned, you may remember an outcry of people and craft brewers complaining that the Beer Store was an "oligopoly," a market structure in which a few firms dominate and in essence, control the market-place. To that end, the Ontario government decided it was time for some serious beer reforms. The first was getting beer into the grocery stores, which has begun in earnest and will continue to for many years.

Here's some more of my new bosses from Wellington
County in Guelph - head brewer Marvin Dyck and
sales guy Scotty Bough. What are they doing? Well, they
are brewing their Shellfish Bastard Saison, using, yes,
lobsters in the early boiling wort part. What's more
is the pair ate the said boiled lobsters afterwards. Some
of my new bosses, a little off the wall but I kinda dig that

But even before the government came forward with their reforms, Fearless Leader Ted announced that in order to get craft breweries more access to the Beer Store, they all got two free listings at the five nearest Beers Stores surrounding them. Many in Ontario (yes, many) have taken them up on that offer (and there's more each week) because, hey, free is still the best price going. That's why I hover around the sample tables at Costco. If you're smart, free lunch!

He also announced that craft brewers would be allowed to buy into the Beer Store ownership group. Now if I can be frank (and I can because Frank's on vacation and I had "fill in for Frank" added to my job description), I was dubious that any craft breweries would jump on that offer even at $100 a player. Even to me, it seems to play out as a bit of a Christians In The Lions' Den scenario. I didn't count on them having much power at the boardroom table. Then I probably petted someone's dog and promptly forgot about it.

So I was surprised - and pretty damn happy - when Fearless Leader Ted sent us all an email on March 4, outlining the Beer Store's new owners, a line-up that features some of our province's best craft brewers - some 20 in all.

Among all the players at the table, perhaps the most
uniquely positioned is George Croft, who worked
at Labatt for 20 years, then the much smaller and
now-defunct Lakeport Brewery and is running the
medium-sized Brick Brewing now. He has, quite
frankly, worked at all sizes of breweries in his life

And lemme tell you, there's some impressive (and unexpected) names on this list. Amsterdam Brewing, Barnstormer Brewing, Beau's All-Natural Brewing, Flying Monkeys Brewing, Forked River Brewing, Grand River Brewing, Highlander Brewing, Durham Brewing, Hockley Valley Brewing, Lake of Bays Brewing, Magnotta Brewing, Nita Brewing, Pioneer Brewing, Railway City Brewing, Sawdust City Brewing, Side Launch Brewing, Steam Whistle Brewing, Trafalgar Ales and Meads, Wellington County Brewing and Whitewater Brewing. These are my new bosses??? When's the flippin' party???

Of course, the big guns (Labatt, Molson and Sleeman) are still there but the medium-sized Brick Brewing and Moosehead Brewing have been added to the roster. So given their huge numbers, do the craft brewers now hold ultimate power in the boardroom? Will they now rule the Ontario Beer Universe?

In a word, no. To translate that into German, French, Russian and New Jersey, nein, non, nyet and nada chance, ya jabroni. You see, on the Board of Directors - the guys who vote on stuff - Labatt and Molson's each have four players. After them are four new non-beer guys (an Oakville lawyer and former big-wigs with Maple Leaf Foods, Canadian Tire and Proctor and Gamble.) Then Sleeman's and Brick (George Croft, pictured) each have a vote.

Pressure? What pressure? I can do this in my sleep,
says Frank Heaps of representing the craft brewers
at the Beer Store Board of Directors' table. In fact,
at most board meetings, sleep is always involved...

 And finally, carrying the hopes and dreams of those 20 feisty craft brewers is Frank Heaps, founder of the former Upper Canada Brewery and father of Steam Whistle founder Cam Heaps. So if all those 20 craft brewers only have one combined vote through their proxy Frank, why bother?

Simply this. After years of being completely shut out, they are finally at the big boys' table. In a small way, yes. But at least they're in the room. So I asked my buddy, Brian Wilson, the brewmaster of Highlander Brewing, as small as their role is, was this simply more a matter of finally having a voice? He answered succinctly, "Exactly!"

And as succinct as Brian was, when we talked, Mike Arnold, founder of Trafalgar Ales and Meads, was downright loquacious. "You can't bitch if you're not the table. For years, we have always had concerns with how we (as craft brewers) were treated at the Beer Store and now me and the (19) others can at least speak up through Frank."

Better on the playing field than in the spectators' stands
was the attitude that Trafalgar Ales and Meads founder
Mike Arnold had, opting for ownership in the Beer Store

Now, of course, he added, "There are concerns (on our end) as to what extent Frank gets listened to at the Beer Store (boardroom table.)" And a simple Math check adds another layer of potential reality-check to that. Even if Frank can sway both Brick and Sleeman's votes, as well as the four independent businessmen's votes on any given issue, that adds up to seven votes. Between them, Molson's and Labatt have eight. As reminiscent as it is of, say, the 1984 Edmonton Oilers, an 8-7 win still goes in the old "W" Column.

However, Mike noted that the little guys may have an ace in the hole. "The government is watching this (new boardroom set-up) very closely, just as they're watching the (beer) roll-out into the grocery stores. And remember, they have the final say. I mean, I give (Ontario Premier Kathleen) Wynne full credit for flexing her muscles." In other words, even a sniff of collusion or oligopoly from the restructured boardroom and the government pile-driver could land hard on the wresting mat again. Think about it - the beer distribution system in Ontario was exactly the same for 86 years. Wynne dismantled it and shook that up in mere months.

See that little bit of beer at the bottom of the
glass? That represents two things. For one,
it represents the tiny power the craft brewers
have at the Beer Store boardroom table. But
secondly and more importantly, it represents
the last time I let my young son pour me beer.

In a CBC-News interview, Jane Southgate, owner of Cambridge's Grand River Brewing, echoed Mike's sentiment. "When I looked at it, I didn't think I had anything to lose and it gave me more access to information." As Mike alluded to with me, Southgate said Heaps was chosen to represent the craft brewers "because he has so much knowledge of the process, instead of picking someone who was brand new to any dealings with the Beer Store." (This is very true. When I worked part-time at the Beer Store from 1991 to 2000 - so a long time ago - Upper Canada had probably eight or nine listings there. Frank was a pioneer.) But she added cautiously, "It's all a step in the right direction but it's a baby step."

In the same CBC interview, Wellington County's VP of Brewing Brent Davies was also pinning his hopes on Heaps. "In the past, we've never had kind of a voice or a person out there to represent us." Also, like Mike Arnold, he wants to see more self-serve Beer Stores. In Oakville, three out of six are self-serve (including mine) but that's a rarity as only 23% across the province are. Said Davies: "The biggest thing we want change for is to be able to have our product be seen and be held by our customers." Just like at the LCBO, he said, craft brewers want Beer Store customers to be able to pick up their packaging and read about the product they're holding. "A better shopping experience is what we'd like to see at the Beer Stores," he finally noted.

And thank you, Jimmy Fallon, for exposing our dark secret
to the entire world. You know what? I was pulling it off, too!

So I guess I have a whole bunch of new bosses. And that's pretty cool. Because new bosses, out of professional courtesy, usually take me out for a beer. Or more. Not that I'm singling anyone out... Amsterdam, Barnstormer, Beau's, Flying Monkeys, Highlander, Lake of Bays, Sawdust City, Side Launch, Steam Whistle, Trafalgar and Wellington County. The fact that your products have been highly lauded in this space before should have no bearing. None whatsoever. Nope. *Starts whistling the beginning of Guns n Roses' Patience because it's the only whistling song I know* But I've seen Motley Crue a dozen times and singer Vince Neil asks only one thing of us, his audience. "Make some f**king noise!" Guys, go in there and make some f**king noise, okay? Next up, holy crap, did my Rib Eye Jack's Ale House beer technician Kylie ever just hand me four beauties or what! So it looks like we're actually talking beer next time. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here!! Until next time, I remain...