So... 4/20 and why some IPAs are so unhoppy

Okay, that's easier to remember...

It happened every single year from childhood to adulthood. Because my birthday is February 14th, everybody remembers it. My brother, Gary, who lives in Valencia, Spain (and has lived in various points in Europe since 1986) sends me birthday greetings via email without fail. Every year. Like a good brother should.

But his birthday, April 20th, went by every year without well-wishes from my end. Why? I didn't remember what day his birthday was. Eventually, about 15 years ago, he grew tired of telling me it already had been his birthday the day after his actual birthday and said, "Look, April 20th is also Hitler's birthday. You should remember that, right?" And, of course, I didn't because... who the hell would remember Hitler's birthday, for gawd's sake??? Well, besides maybe Eva Braun... and perhaps Heinrich Himmler? The point is, not many...

Sometimes hops smell a lot like marijuana because they're in
the same botanical family. I only know this because I pay
attention in class. Meaning craft brewery tours in my case...

Finally, a couple of years ago, Gary, totally exasperated at this point, said, "Look, in North America, do they have 4/20 Day?", referring, of course, to the day everyone is supposed to smoke marijuana for the betterment of society or well, just because... Well, duh, of course I have heard of 4/20. It was invented by California students way back in 1971 and has been celebrated every April 20th (and other days, I hear) since that time. Suffice it to say, I have not forgotten Gary's birthday since.

So why bring up marijuana in a beer blog? Two reasons. #1) Don't lie. It's a helluva hook. And #2) There's at least one strain of hops that smells, well, pretty much exactly like marijuana. I, of course, only know this from that wafting pungent odour at the many rock concerts I have attended over the years. True story... *coughs smoke* If, for medical reasons, I were forced to use marijuana, the prescription would have to come from a proctologist for the simple reason that my ass ain't stoned yet. Aside from that, I'm too busy chasing beers, not buds (and definitely not Buds...)

Okay, now it's starting to make sense to me. Took me a while
to try a Wells IPA but after that, the pieces fell into place...

The fact that I know there's a hop that smells like that comes courtesy of my Amsterdam Brewery tour back at the beginning of the year with Beer Musketeer Cat where we were handed dried, compressed hops to smell. When your first thought is: "Anyone here have rolling papers?", well, maybe - just maybe -that's a familiar smell. But I'll be honest, the pungency of that particular hop got me to wondering why some IPAs are not hoppy in the least, tasting more like lagers to me than IPAs. Sleeman's IPA, Mill Street's Curious Parrot IPA, Brick's Waterloo IPA, Big Rock IPA and any number of others, I drank and thought, okay, that's a pretty decent beer but not an IPA. I mean, even my very-beer-knowledgeable but Hop-Intolerant coworker Saga could drink these, except that his anti-IPA Shields are set to 11 and nothing with the initials IPA can penetrate them. But for me, it got to the point that I actually wrote about the confusing (to me) non-hop-driven Alexander Keith's IPA last November in a blog called: When Is An IPA Not Really An IPA?

Well, Morpheus, I'd start by saying you're wrong. And
while you're cool, you'll never be Samuel L Jackson Cool...

So after Amsterdam Brewery, I started researching. At the same time, I bought a Wells IPA from Britain, thinking, "Well, they invented the IPA so this'll be hoppy as hell." Nope, another mild, malt-driven one. Or as I call them, SFS IPAs - safe for Saga. Well, it didn't take long to find out the answer - less than a day, to be honest. Turns out there are two kinds of IPA. The British IPAs which are mild and malt-driven light ales... and the North American IPA, which are intense, hop-driven, blow-the-top-off-your-head bitter... well, to varying degrees. You know, the kind I like...

Okay, so now we're talkin' my kind of IPA...

To that end, that renders my "When is an IPA not an IPA?" blog, which was famous among tens of people, I'm sure, to somewhat more infamous status. Because I was wrong. Keiths has every right to call itself an IPA... in the British style. (If it's top-fermented. I'll be honest - I still have my doubts.) But that's kind of the point of starting this blog for me last June - to learn more about beer since that is my livelihood. And much like every other aspect of my life, when I am wrong... man, do I swing for the fences. Granted, I don't really care. In fact, being wrong bothers me so little that Frasier Crane could plan his retirement around me. As I'm busy being wrong on occasion (okay, that word should be plural), I've also drank a truckload of new beers of all kinds... and if loving them is wrong, I don't wanna be right. (I feel a song in there somewhere.) So will I erase that erroneous blog from existence? Hells no. Bite me. I don't mind being wrong at all... And this is why...

Even the Ontario Brewing Awards waited until 2011 to break the IPA category into two separate ones: British IPA and North American IPA because, well, (again I'm assuming) the hoppy North American style ones were sweeping the awards and the malty British style ones had to sit at that awful table near the kitchen where every time the waiters came out, the back of their chairs got hit... and they spilled their malt-driven IPAs down the front of their pants. And the thuggish North American-style IPAs laughed at them for soiling themselves. Good thing the British style ones have that whole "stiff upper lip" thing happening.

... because that's what most North American IPAs taste like
to non-IPA drinkers. Because they're weiners and wussies.

So from this day forth, if I am referring to an IPA, please note I absolutely mean the hoppy North American style IPA. If it's a British style, I will actually say something like, "a milder, malt-driven British-style IPA." I'll be honest, though - don't expect to hear that too much.

So are all British IPAs mild and malt-driven? Okay, as the stunning Elizabeth Montgomery in her role as Samantha Stevens used to charmingly say in the beloved 1960s TV sitcom, Bewitched, "Welllll?" Meaning, no, not quite. Because in my drinking hand (the right hand, of course - the new King Slayer since Jamie Lannister lost his) as we speak is a Thornbridge Halcyon Imperial IPA, found at the LCBO, straight from Bakewell, England. (Bakewell? And now we're back to marijuana... does anyone have any Cool Ranch Doritos in this room???)

Are all British-based IPAs mild and malt-driven? Well, no...

Because this is a beer blog and I should include at least include one beer review, here we go. Citrus (big-time citrus) on the nose, the head hung in for quite a while (not so hard with me), mango, grapefruit, a wee bit of pineapple on the tongue... ladies and germs, we have us one North American-style British IPA. And for the record, I'm not crying. It's finally Spring in Canada... and my allergies are flaring up. It's not pride. I feel pride in my son's accomplishments, especially sports, not some British beer's accomplishments in the field of North American-style IPAs. What? It's a good beer!!! It got 98 on RateBeer which I cautiously trust for good IPAs and Imperial Stouts... and not really for other styles.

Okay, no shout-outs because I just cranked one of these out a couple of days backs... so no one to shout out to.

New Zealand Beer Writer and Blogger Neil with Bruce
the Bulldog. Neil's 3-point stance? Due to Hop Zombie

But I do have a Birthday Wish from Canada for one dude, New Zealand Beer Writer and Blogger Neil Miller. When I started this little blog last June, college chum Stevil St Evil told me, "Read this guy. Seriously. He knows his stuff." Turns out "knows his stuff" was a wee bit understated. That said, he cranks out very brilliant beer blogs with alarming frequency... and I enjoy every single one. Especially his footnotes which, well... you know how people say "LOL"? I actually do laugh out loud. And I have learned more from this dude than I care to admit. So... a lot. Happy birthday to you from Canada (yesterday to you) from a fan, a friend and a brother from another mother. Keep on keeping on.

Okay, no other shout-outs but here's a cool video of a dog protecting his master's beer that co-worker Marie showed me in something I'll call: It's Bud Light. Dogs can't read And another from my friend Joe where a guy uses a photo-copier to do what I would love to with Flying Monkeys Smashbomb Atomic IPA in another called: Why Has Science Not Perfected This?

Okay, gang, next time, the Sleeman's Saga and more. But 'til then, guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here... Until next time, I remain...