THEY ALWAYS SAY... you should write what you know about...

Well, lessee, I know my son, David, pretty well... I know supermodels pretty well... I know comic books pretty well... and I know beer pretty well...

Gotta admit, after a half-century on this mud-ball, that's about it. Seriously. I mean, I could write about everything I know and understand about women, I suppose. But the blog would end... RIGHT HERE! Good news, boys, we're not supposed to understand them. I don't think even they expect us to... Except when they're mad, which in my case, seems to be a fair bit. Not sure why. I'm a frikkin saint. Honestly. Ask the Pope - he'll tell you. The new Pope, not the old one. I owe the old one money. Never play Texas Hold 'Em Poker against the Pope. You'd think with all that Pope stuff 24/7, he'd be crappy at it. He's not. Dude's a shark and he cheats. Plus I'm banned from the Vatican now. But that's a different thing.

Anyway, dragging myself screaming and yelling back on topic, I could write about my boy, David. Unfortunately, Honey Boo Boo has pretty much torched the paths of all proud parents. Five minutes of that show and I started drinking bleach, just to make everything go away.

Then there's the supermodels but Kate Upton has that restraining order against me... and when you take the biggest player off the supermodel blog game-board, it's a much duller read. Also, far less... uh, bouncy. As I told the police, "Look, it wasn't me. Though I will agree, dude looked a lot like me. Yes, yes, I heard you: 'remarkably so'..."

Brings us to comic books. The problem is there's thousands of comic book blogs out there. I have no doubts I could add some colour to that community. One problem, though. Their followers are... what's the clinical term for this?... oh, yeah, frikkin' insane. One slip-up and the Geek Goons descend on you like locusts and give you a trashing, much like the Loki-lead Chitauri drones did the New York City in The Avengers. And unlike Tony Stark, I don't have a nuke warhead to lob at the Geek Goons' mothership, which, in turn, would see them all drop like stones. I would say that was, well, convenient... but where I'm concerned, director Joss Whedon can do no wrong and it's my favourite flick pretty much of all time so...

That leaves beer. At this point I should probably tell you that after nearly 30 years of Journalism, mostly in community newspapers, all of which crashed and burned like, well, the Chitauri drones, I have spent the last 5 years at the Beer Store, plus another 14 years there part-time during my newspaper days. Does that make me some sort of "beer expert"? Hell no. I just sell the stuff. Well, let's be honest... it sells itself. However, my 30-plus years of drinking beer means I've have more than a fair few and I have that sort of practical hands-on beer experience that money can't buy. Although, technically, money did buy that beer.

So beer it is. For this blog... and at this precise moment for me. Writin' is thirsty work! True story. William Shakespeare was constantly pounding the mead while writing his critically-acclaimed novels. That's why we can't understand half of it. Forsooth, homeys!  So for all intents and purposes, this blog is written by Don The Beer Lover.

ENOUGH OF THE JIBBA-JABBA... as Mr T used to say. Let's get this frat party started.

Okay, anyone who knows their beer knows the latest trend is towards making funky hops beer. In the past month, four have been released to the unwashed masses and naturally, in the name of Science, I have tried all four. (Science gets blamed for the damnedest stuff...) Alexander Keith's got the ball rolling with their single-hop beers, Alexander Keith's Hallertauer and Cascade Hops beers. Creemore Springs Brewery quickly followed suit with Hops and Bolts India Pale Ale and the cleverly-named Sunny and Share Citrus. The two Creemore beers were released under the brewery's own subsiduary (suds-siduary?) Mad and Noisy Brewing - a nod to the fact that the Creemore Brewery is nestled at the basin where Mad River and Noisy River connect in Creemore, Ontario.

Here's what they look like...

Okay, I have tried all four and each has its own distinct thing going for it. The Keith's Cascade, made with hops from BC, has that citrusy flavour that's nice on a hot summer day. Creemore's Sunny and Share has pretty much the same thing going for it. The nod I would give Sunny and Share? Slightly less citrus. Not a huge fan of flavoured beers although I believe they have their time and place. Their time is when it's scorching out and their place is a hopping (you see what I did there?) patio bar, preferably served by a pretty young waitress. Or if you're a woman patron, I guess maybe served by a Chippendale dancer? No, fireman! Ladies dig firemen.

Onto the Hallertauer and Hops and Bolts, then. Both are super-hoppy. By that, I mean, if you can imbibe four or five of your regular fare - Coors Light, Canadian, Blue, Bud, whatever - and this two will still kick the crap out of your tastebuds with the first sip. Hops and Bolts has a very distinct bitter taste and after-taste (very European) which is is interesting because the Hallertauer hops are actually from Germany. I liked both but so far of the four, both me and my clever young co-worker, Saga, gave the Hallertauer the biggest thumbs up. It's really good!

That said, everyone has different tastes. I already know the Sunny and Share and Cascade beers will go over well for the ladies. So try all four. It's fun exploring new things... and you'll have 4 beers in you, which is a helluva start.

Okay, this has been overly-long so I'm gonna sign off. But before I do, I have to give a big thumbs up to my old college buddy, Steve Cossaboom, who helped me set up this blog, to the point of even creating the Brew-Ha-Ha! logo at the top. His blog, 5 Foot 19, (a nod to his height) is pretty damn funny and can be seen here: http://5foot19.blogspot.co.nz/

As a nod to my Irish roots, here's an old Irish toast to end with:
Here's to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and an honest one,
A cold pint and another one!!!

Slainte, homeys! The next one will be shorter. I promise!