Chris and Alicia are Hopping Happily

 

Okay, so that's Chris on the left, the guy behind the Hop Happy beer blog and
also well-known as @gamblinmcgoo to our many Vegas friends. So you might
look at this photo and think, "Awww, what a good man, taking in a homeless
fellow like that guy on the right and getting him that beer." But no, that's me.
Chris, his wife, Alicia and I all got together at Clifford Brewing back in late
September to enjoy some beverages on a beautiful Autumn day. Cheers to us!

Way back in 1995, there was a classic episode of the TV show, Seinfeld. In it, George finds himself in a relationship, which is all well and good. Except his new girlfriend wants to meet his friends.

This vexes George, who believes there are two versions of himself - Independent George, which he is with Jerry, Elaine and Kramer, and Relationship George, which he is with his girlfriend. In essence, he does not want the two worlds to collide because he believes the second he walks through Jerry's door with his new lady, it's like matter meeting antimatter. Everything collapses. Black hole. As he exclaims with no small amount of anguish: "A George, divided against itself, cannot stand!" 

It was, to be certain, a silly premise as most of us, while slightly better behaved in new relationships, are pretty much the same either way. But this TV show carved out nearly a decade of hilarity based on nothing but ridiculous premises.

When I met Alicia and Chris, aka @gamblinmcgoo, the Vegas lover but also
@hophappyblog, the craft beer lover, at Clifford Brewing towards the end
of September, I learned that Alicia takes the great majority of the photos
for the blog. That's impressive because the photos are fantastic. She has a
very keen eye at setting up both environment shots, the brewery itself and
the little quirks many would miss, as well as the beer shots. Quite talented.

So taking this George theory where there's more than one version of yourself and extending it to myself on Twitter, let's see where this lands.

I mean, there's Beer Donny. That's a pretty huge circle right there. Hundreds, I would say, when I take in everyone I follow or who follows me based on beer alone.

Then there's Vegas Donny and I really enjoy that Donny because, boy howdy, he sure loves it there. And that circle, though it started small, is humongous now.

Now the line between the different Donnys on Twitter is bleeding these days. My Vegas Twitter and Beer Twitter are all over each other's posts and unlike George, I think it's cool. Meeting of the minds... yadda, yadda, yadda. 

These two are a lot of fun and between them, they have created
what I consider the one of the best beer blogs out there. With
Alicia's skills behind the camera and Chris' ways with words,
Hop Happy Beer Blog has become a must-read for me. It's fun,
it's lively, it's informative and best of all, they explore Ontario
breweries that we really don't know until the pair land there.

Smokey Jon Kelly, master of the BBQ over there in Ireland, loves his craft beer, Vegas and, well, BBQ. My Beer Twitter peeps are all over Jon when he's posting food pics. Hell, I think Homebrewer Graeme wants to fly over, set up a tent in Jon's backyard and live there for a while, just to eat the food that Jon posts.

And then there's Chris. Now Chris is the subject of this little outing but because my preambles are ridiculously long (y'all still awake?), photos of him with his wife, the photographically-skilled as well as photogenic Alicia, have been used three times here without actual mention in this text of who he is.

Okay, then, who is Chris? Well, when I first got to know him on Twitter, he was McGoo (@gamblinmcgoo), a Vegas lover. I knew he was from the London area and that he flies down there four or five times a year, much like me. While I have become a huge fan of Downtown Vegas recently, Chris, a serious gambler, prefers to spend his time on the famed Strip.

This what what I mean about Alicia's photography skills. About
mid-October, Chris decided the change in the weather meant it
was time to switch to Porters and Stouts. So Alicia set up this
photo to illustrate that. This is some Creative AF photography!

So whenever I was in Vegas and I was tagging photos, my man, McGoo, was one of the tagged. Tagging someone in a travel photo is quite literally saying, "Look where I am! Cool, eh?" Fellow Vegas fans can relate.

Eventually, I noticed Chris paying extra attention to my "Beer in Vegas" photos. As it turned out, some time earlier, Chris had abandoned the Macro Train after his first visit to Triple 7 Microbrewery-Restaurant at Main Street Station Resort-Casino. As memory serves, it was there that he first tried their Black Chip Porter and... *bam* Bud was removed his tasting table forever.

Now I first went to Triple 7 last September on the word of my friends, Mike and Laura, better known as @hogand2cent on Twitter. As I walked closer to the place, I noticed a billboard promoting the award-winning microbrewery. They were about to meet an award-winning drinker, I thought to myself.

This is Chris on the Vegas Strip way back in 2012, performing
what is know as The Beer Fountain! It's a fast, efficient way of
demolishing a sixer of macro. If you tried this with an IPA or
Stout, you would die. In 2012, I was drinking the macros, too.

For the record, my beverages of choice at Triple-7 were their Carlsbad IPA and their High Roller Gold Blonde Ale. While not a typical choice of mine due to its mildness, I chose the Blonde Ale because I believe if you can pull off a Blonde Ale, Pilsner or Lager, you are a good brewery. There is no hiding flaws behind hops or dark malts. Gotta be bang-on. Both were perfectly on point style-wise.

So this past Summer when Chris said on Twitter that he wanted to try his hand at a beer blog, he got an enthusiastic response from me. My rationale has always been the more eyes out there in the Ontario Craft Beer world, the better it is for us all. This is how we learn.

What I wasn't perhaps anticipating was how quickly and cleverly his endeavour would be set up. First of all, he branded himself - hophappyblog.com - creating his own web domain. 

Even in something as simple as a sampler photo, Alicia has
a knack of adding real texture and depth. I mean, I take
beer photos all the time and trust me, none of them look
like this. Not sure what kind of camera her phone has but
lemme tell you, it's serving her well. This lady has a knack.

That's smart. I never really tried to brand myself and I probably should have. It turns out being lazy as hell and simply floating though life is actually a negative. Who knew? To most, I am simply Donny, That Dude Who Likes Beer. That's lax branding at best. Meh.

But secondly and more importantly, it's the way he writes his blogs. One brewery at a time. Clever, funny preamble each time. Some great background on the brewery follows that. Personal interaction with the staff or quirky details about the brewery is up next. And finally, he reviews ALL the beers that brewery has on tap the day he and Alicia land there.

When he, Alicia and I all met at Clifford Brewing in Stoney Creek back in late-September, he was taking notes on everything he drank. I rely on my memory. Show of hands - which method do you suppose is more accurate? I mean, I'm not saying that my memory sucks gigantic donkey butt but that's mostly because donkeys are a noble and respected beast of burden.

I have no idea where this is but I will say this. Whatever brewery is doing eight
ounce flight glasses, five per flight, I wanna go there! However, I do know this
is a few years ago, for sure. Young Chris is looking pretty happy here for sure!

So back in mid-August, Chris dropped his first blog. He started with the "This is why I wanna write a beer blog" intro. You kinda have to do that one.

His second one was on London's very well- known Anderson Craft Ales, a place we all applaud these days due to "Man, they're awesome and don't make a bad beer" reasons.

But after that, it was the smaller breweries. The lesser-known to most of us. And that's when things really took off for me as a reader.

Chris and Alicia invited two craft-loving neighbours over to
their house for the Great Pumpkin Beer Challenge just
before Halloween, pitting these six beers against each other
in an Ale-Off. Which won? Well, you'll just have to read it.

They have since stopped in at Steel Wheel Brewing in Brant, London Brewing in London, Stonepicker Brewing in Plympton-Wyoming, Fixed Gear Brewing in Guelph, Charlotteville Brewing in Simcoe and New Limberg Brewing, also in Simcoe.

With the possible exception of Fixed Gear, these are not well-known Ontario breweries. But each of them has their own unique, often fun or revealing story-behind-their-story. And Chris and Alicia are there to document it.

Born in old farms, old country estates and even in the case of New Limburg, an old elementary school, these are breweries that are substantially different than the ones we are used to in the GTA or other urban areas. No shortage of character, that's for sure.

So if you're not doing so, read Hop Happy which you can find here: Chris And Alicia Love Beer! You'll thank me later. But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

One person can make a difference

 

That is my handsome son, David, between these two smiling faces at Cowbell
Brewing in the tiny town of Blyth, Ontario. David and his Mom were in the
neighbourhood back in August, David spotted the brewery and told his Mom
they had to stop so he could buy Daddy some beer. They also ate there and I
will say his Mom told me the food was really great. That's where this starts.

This is the story of a young boy and a full-grown woman.

They have never met. Indeed, their paths have never once crossed but to me, they are now connected. Neither of them would know how. But that's why I'm here. I'm the narrator of this fanciful tale.

So this is the story of a boy named David Redmond and a woman named Ren Navarro. Oh, and also a very popular Ontario establishment and tourist attraction called Cowbell Brewing.

This beer, Black Is Beautiful, a collaboration effort between Grain & Grit Small
Batch Beers in Hamilton and Ren Navarro, was a tricky one to explain to David.
The best I could do is tell him that many people are not treated fairly by others
and that he and I should always want everyone to be treated exactly the same. 

So, one day this past August, David's Mom texted me to say that they had stopped into a brewery and that my boy had bought me some beer. Obviously, I was pumped. That's a pretty big father-son moment right there.

When she sent the picture up top, well, my heart sank a little. They had gone to Cowbell. Ouch.

There's little point in beating around the bush on this one because the story is well-known in Ontario craft beer circles. Long story short, early in the Summer, a couple went to the brewery. He's black, she's white. Not particularly note-worthy to most of us. I would hope.

Now this is a picturesque looking brewery. And in fact, after his first trip there,
Drunk Polkaroo wrote, "Pictures do not do justice to this cathedral of beer."
But the brewery that was doing absolutely everything right slipped this year.

When they got to the front of the line, the hostess told them the dining room was fully booked but they were welcome to sit on the outdoor patio. Seems fair enough. Except the wife notices more and more couples being let into the dining room. Her Spider-Sense was tingling. So she walks up solo, sans hubby, to see if she can get an indoor seat. Yes, she can immediately, says the hostess. Now none of us can claim to know what was actually going on in that young lady's head. But let's face it - the optics were not good. Dreadful, actually.

While he and his Mom forgot to pack this four-pack
of Cowbell Brewing beverages that David bought for
me in his August visit, it was remembered for his
September stay-with-Dad. And it was consumed!

When the lady posted the story on Facebook, it did not take long to make the social media rounds. Same-day service, if you will. And believe me, we all noticed. In fact, most of us noticed furiously.

Before long, Cowbell also noticed and quickly issued an apology that was sadly lacking in one regard. The apology itself. That further infuriated people. However, I was somewhat heartened to read that they were planning to reach out to Ren, Ontario's reigning Beer Diversity Monarch, (a hail and hearty "Long live the Queen!") to come to the brewery and do that thing she does so well. And that is, "plain-splain" why the Ontario Craft Beer industry needs to be to be more inclusive towards the BIPOC and LGBTQ2 communities. As a member of both, Ren is uniquely equipped to calmly, rationally and even happily explain its importance to people, even those as dense as myself. (Seriously. Never bother to ask me what day it is. Just assume I don't know. Because I don't.)

But let's step away from Ren for just a moment (a brief moment, a mere second in time) and get back to David because while I believe both have hearts of gold, the reality is I have only known one for 29 years. 

I am not sure who took this photo of our Beer Diversity
Queen Ren but, whoa, that is one million dollar smile! 

Back when I got the Cowbell picture with my boy, I honestly thought, "What do I do? I don't want to be insensitive to all this but, man, it's David! This means the world to me."

So I threw the old "rock and a hard place - what do I do here, folks?" out there to the Twitterverse. The answers came quickly. Boston Adam from Fergus noted, "It's the thought that counts. Enjoy the beers" which was pretty much echoed by Greg, who said, "Don't say a word. This is definitely a case of 'It's the thought that counts'." Danny up there in Sudbury chipped in, "I think the good outweighs the bad in this case." Drunk Polkaroo offered up, "Honest gestures of love are far more important than a dumb PR response."

But it was Paulie G who got me all verklempt with his touching thoughts. "Don, we all know you are a despicable person. This doesn't really change anything. Carry on." I tell you, that Paulie G guy could make a statue weep. The old softie.

Graeme screen-captured this image of Cowbell's
diversity training with Ren. According to the
brewery itself, it is just "Phase One" of ongoing
training. Some questioned the singular use of
just posting on Instagram but Ren stepped in to
say that was her suggestion. I get that. If you
throw it on every social media platform, then it
all seems very force-fed, doesn't it? Clever lady.

So having been given what I suspect is the "David Hall Pass," (whereby if David is involved, it's all good) I went ahead and drank those beers. Somewhat guilt-free, I should add. Again, it was a gift that meant a lot to me. Also among the four was their Doc Perdue's Bobcat West Coast Red Ale, a huge favourite of both Danny and myself.

And I continued to watch the situation up there in Blyth as Ren came into the town, floating on an umbrella, much like Mary Poppins. *Checks notes* Never mind. She drove there. Turns out there are no bullet trains non-stop between Blyth and Kitchener. (If GO Transit could get on that, that'd be great.)

I mean, I knew she was up there doing her thing but wondered how it was going. On October 15, I got my answer. On their Twitter feed, Cowbell released a video with Ren narrating. After establishing shots of the brewery itself, Ren came onscreen and told us all this. "I'm Ren Navarro. I run a company called Beer Diversity. Yeah, I talk about beer. Yeah, I talk about diversity. But I also talk about inclusion and why craft beer is such a great liquid. How we all love it and how it's accessible for all of us. Working with Cowbell the last few months, I'm learning a lot from them and they're learning a lot from me because it's all about conversations. Opening it up and having safe spaces where we can try and make some change. So when you're sitting at the craft beer family table, don't ask someone to leave. Just shove over a little bit. Make a little more room and share your favourite beverage. Cheers."

When Ren was called upon by Cowbell to head up and help out,
she quipped to Hamilton artist-cartoonist David Buist that she
needed some kind of Bat Signal, designed specifically for her.
Within the hour, David responded, posting this beauty, which
totally nails it. Like Ren herself, David never lets us down.

That was enough for me. However, I hasten to add it was not for others. I see posts from folks not willing to Cowbell it up just yet. Which is perfectly fair.

But I was hoping for a better ending and I think I got it. They're back on my Spendy-Spend List. You see, Cowbell's strength has always been in its sense of community. Since its inception back in 2017, the brewery has donated five cents a can of their flagship beer, Absent Landlord Country Kolsch, to four children's hospital in Ontario. David spent the first week of his life in an incubator at Toronto's Sick Kids Hospital so when Cowbell hit $500,000 in hospital donations last week, well, that was a pretty big deal to me. 

Yeah, they slipped. But Ren reached down, grabbed their hand and pulled them back up onto their feet. So why is that enough for me? Because it's Ren. She will always be enough. But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...

That $500 Price is Right win in Vegas

Neither Joanne nor I could remember who the
host was when we attended a shooting of The
Price Is Right Live at Bally's way back in July
2007 but after looking at the pictures of all the
countless hosts that have done it, I'm 99% sure
it's this guy - Todd Newton. Something about
him is ringing a bell. Turns out Todd was a real
contender for the TV show when Bob Barker
packed it in. Drew Carey was the eventual host.

According to Beer Bro Glenn, I have never told him the story about how I won $500 on my first trip to Las Vegas way back in July 2007. And the fact is if Glenn, who I've known for 40 years, does not know the story, then likely very few do.

Okay, some back story. From September 2002 to February 2008, there was this TV show called Las Vegas. It starred James Caan (as Big Ed Deline) and Josh Duhamel (as Danny McCoy, Big Ed's right-hand man.) The series revolved around the fictional Montecito Resort and Casino in Vegas. (To this day, Vegas cabbies still report drunken passengers demanding to be taken to the Montecito.)

The show was very flashy, filled with beautiful women and handsome dudes, surrounded by all the bells, whistles, noises, neon and glitz of an actual Vegas casino. Copious amounts of young ladies in bikinis around resort pools, tons of cheating gamblers with sophisticated trickery, the odd peak into the mobster background of the city's creation and, oh yeah, the occasional car chase when deemed necessary to the plot... mostly because Danny owned a sick-ass yellow 1968 Chevy Camaro in mint condition.

It was just a TV show but man, it was a helluva introduction to Las Vegas. The guest stars were a who's-who of back-then or still-now Vegas entertainers - Criss Angel, Paul Anka, Robert Goulet, Wayne Newton, Tony Orlando, Donny Osmond, and, of course, Penn & Teller.

I absolutely loved this TV show, which further sparked a
very real desire to visit Las Vegas. I finally got my wish
in July 2007 when I and then-girlfriend, Joanne, landed
at The Imperial Palace, probably the rowdiest joint on
the strip. The Imperial is gone now... but not forgotten.

So at the time, July 2007, my then-girlfriend Joanne said, yeah, she was down for a Vegas trip and off we flew. We were booked into the now-long-gone and fondly remembered (by me and a healthy handful of others) Imperial Palace (now The LINQ), the rowdiest place on the strip back in those days.

And I loved it!! All of the lights and neon, all of the excessive volume, all of the hooting gamblers (particularly at the craps tables), lots of the slots that blared like fire-sirens to announce a big win was exactly how I pictured it having watched the TV show.

I think at first I was a little dismayed, traveling up and down the famed strip with Joanne, at how quiet the other really famous casinos were. Casinos at places like Paris, Caesar's Palace, The Bellagio and The Venetian were all so hushed by comparison. It took me a while to realize it was the Imperial Palace that was the anomaly, not the reverse.

So as classy and fun as the Montecito was on TV, its human experience vibe owed more to the Imperial Palace than The Bellagio.

The thing I remember most about the Imperial Palace was
those dealertainers. Celebrity impersonators would be your
dealer one minute and then the next minute, be up on this
little stage singing away. Here's "Little Richard" giving us a
round of Tutti-Fruity. It was just wild there way back then.

Many Vegas lovers may disagree with that assessment. And that's okay because I'm perfectly fine with them being completely wrong.

Okay, I've mentioned before that my first five trips to Vegas were with girlfriends - three of them, actually (though at different times. I'm not exactly Hef.) So those five trips were all filled with shows and shopping. The second of which you can do at home, I'd like to emphasize! Granted, I like to drink in Vegas so I suppose they could make the same argument. But as they say, when they're happy, you're happy... or something.

So in those first five trips, I saw a huge amount of shows. After that, when I was flying solo for the next 11 trips, considerably less because I came to the early realization that I could do whatever I wanted... whenever I wanted. So, drinking at casino bars it was! As the Greeks would say in celebration... OPA! (Except mine is spelled with an 'I' not an 'O'.)

Now, here's where it gets tricky. Like I said, I saw a lot of shows in those first five trips and if I say, "So Joanne and I saw this and this and this and this," I run the risk of mentioning a show I saw with a different girlfriend. And within the dictates of 1947's Playing Nice With An Ex Social Manifesto, she has every right to say, "That wasn't me, you asshole. Hope she gave you Herpes." 

So I'm sticking with two of which I am certain. And the first one involves that big $500 win. My biggest Vegas win ever, mostly because I don't really gamble.

The Imperial Palace had this humongous classic car show on
an upper floor so there was always a car or two within the
casino to advertise that. I'm 99% sure I probably wasn't
supposed to lean on this classic auto but I don't know that.

Among the shows we saw (that, again, I'm certain of) was The Price Is Right Live! Yeah, like the Bob Barker TV game show we all loved as kids when we were "sick" and got the day off school.

Now I was convinced we saw this at the Paris Resort and Casino (a place Joanne very much loved) but my London buddy Mark (@pennys4vegas) assures me, no, it was at Bally's Resort and Casino. He knows this because his wife, Liz (@buffetprincess) loves the show. Fair enough. Like I said, I was a newbie and my memory blows. What do I know?

So Joanne and I got our tickets and went to line up so we could register and get our oversized Price Is Right price-tag name-tags. When we got to the table, I happily chatted and joked with the two ladies working. The very second we turned away, Joanne said, "They're gonna pick you!" I thought, "Sure, whatever you say, honey."

Okay, if I'm being honest, while many servers in Vegas do look
like these ladies, the ones at the Imperial Palace did not. They
skewed a little older. Which, frankly, I preferred. I wasn't all
that young even then so I liked them being closer to my age.

But I did get picked and when I knew I was going to write this, I reached out recently to Joanne and asked her why she thought that way back then. Her answer: "I remember thinking that they would choose you because of your outgoing nature and high energy." Huh. Nope. Calling bullshit on this one. Sorry, Jo! I think at the time she saw an exchanged glance or a nod between the ladies or something. If women's intuition extended within the boundaries of Las Vegas, there would be a lot of rich ladies coming home from the place.

So it worked pretty much the same as the TV show. Four people called down to Contestants Row to bid on items. The big difference is on the TV show, the three with the bad bids stay on Contestants Row. In Vegas, four new ones were called each time. Now I never made it to Contestants Row and that is a good thing. Because even as a kid, I sucked bad at guessing prices on items. This is exactly what would have happened.

"What did I do this time, officer?" Oddly, with all my trips to
Vegas, I have never run afoul of Johnny Law, as the mobsters
probably called them. Even going solo, no matter how drunk
I become, I know that there are 87,000 people in Vegas at that
exact same moment who are WAY more hammered. Part of
my thing is counting on the bad behaviour of others and you
know what? Those perfect strangers never ever let me down.

Host Todd Newton: "Don, what do you bid on this GE 8-slice toaster?"
Me: "Wow, Host Todd Newton, that's a pretty sick toaster. I bid $12,000."
Host Todd Newton: "Don, think about it. It's a toaster."
Me: "Damn, you're right, Host Todd Newton. Make it $13,500!"

No, I got called down on the very last segment - to spin "The Big Wheel," seen in the top photo. You all know this but for the three who don't, here goes. The Big Wheel has numbers ranging from 5 to 100. Five represents a nickle, 100 a dollar. The idea to is get as close to a dollar as you can with (I think) up to three spins without going over.

Let me just preface this by saying before the show started, all of us were told to cheer as loudly as possible and should you be picked, tons of enthusiasm, please. Arms flailing in the air, jump up and down, that sort of thing. So when I heard, "Don Redmond, come on down!" (that was actually very cool), Joanne quickly reminded me, "Jump up and down!"

Is this the appropriate amount of air you need when jumping up and
down on The Price Is Right Live at Bally's in Las Vegas? Looks like
she got about a foot of air based on her positioning beside the Big
Wheel. In my case, it was a solid six inches of air. It's not that I didn't
want to appear over-enthusiastic. That's just my max vertical leap... 

So up to the stage, I bounded. Enthusiastically. Lots of jumping, arms flailing, the whole magilla. It was me versus two ladies (I was just one of two guys chosen among the 20-plus contestants.) I was third. First lady spun a not-good-enough number and went a second time. She went over the dollar total. And then there were two. Next lady spun once, got a low number so she spun again for an 85-cent total. Ouch. All on me now! So grabbed that sucker and spun hard. It finally stopped on 90 cents. I was stunned. I looked out at Joanne and she was bobbing her head up and down like, "Jump, you fool!" So I did. Then I did the most Canadian thing ever. I hugged the other lady and said, "I am SO sorry!" You can take the man out of Canada but you can't take the Canada out of the man, eh?

If I didn't believe in hypnosis before seeing Anthony
Cools - and I'm 99% sure I didn't - I sure as hell
did afterwards. His show was, hands-down, the
funniest thing I have ever see in 16 trips to Vegas. 

And with that win, Host Todd Newton placed five $100 bills in my hand, the easiest money anyone could win in Vegas. 

And while that was my biggest windfall ever in Vegas, it's not the most memorable moment. No, that would be when Joanne and I went to the Paris Resort and Casino to see hypnotist Anthony Cools. Geezuz, I still chuckle when I think of that show.

Now I'll be honest. Before seeing the show, I was pretty much skeptical about hypnotism. Even as Cools randomly plucked about 20 people from the audience, I honestly thought, "These are plants. Probably here every show." So he did his hypnotist schtick - the soft, relaxing music, his calm, low voice saying soothing words. I was fine. Looked at Joanne. She was fine. But then it got very interesting. If someone was not falling under up on stage, they got the shoulder tap and off they went. In the end, there were about 10 people left on stage, all of them under. Plus one more. It turns out the guy sitting right in front of us also went under. So Cools' pretty assistant came down, collected him and guided him up onto the stage. Then things got crazy and hilariously raunchy.

This was a hilarious part of the show. Before waking up a
participant, Cools shook their hand and said, "When I
let go of your hand, you will wake up. But until then, you
will believe you are having the most intense orgasm that
you have ever had!" And it was the real shit. His assistant
draped a blanket across everyone's lap and spend more of
her time pulling away hands as they gravitated towards
their own crotches. NOT a show for the Bible Belt folks.

This was NOT "now quack like a duck" hypnotism. No, it's Vegas so it straddled a far more adult line. Participants were told to straddle chairs and pretend they were in a porn movies. And guys, lemme tell you this. The ladies put the men to shame. The men looked dorky AF. The women, not so much. If you had any inhibitions at all, sexual or otherwise, trust me, you did not want to end up on this stage. It was as risque as hell and if you didn't have the right sense of humour, a little bit on the twisted side (Joanne and I were clearly fine with it), trust me, this was not the show for you.

But the most entertaining participant had the least sexual suggestion. One guy was told by Cools that every time the Johnny Cash song, "Burning Ring Of Fire" played, he had to immediately sit on the floor and drag his ass along it to put out the fire. Yeah, his ass was on fire. (Shut up, we've all been there!) But never the same place twice. So as the show went on, this poor bastard would be calmly sitting in his chair, suddenly the song would go off, his eyes would widen like pie-plates and off he'd go, dragging his ass along the stage with a panicked expression, trying not to cover the same floor space twice. It was as entertaining AF!

If you go to Vegas and don't mind a show that's a little more
on the adult side, I highly recommend seeing this hypnotist,
Anthony Cools. I went onto Tripadvisor to pull up some of
the reviews so I could remember more of what I saw. I now
would like to thank the people who took their elderly Moms
to see it and were very disgusted. They jogged my memory. 

But here's how I know this was all real and legit. On the way out, I had a chance meeting with that guy who was sitting in front of us and ended up on the stage. He still seemed a little dazed so I asked him, "How was it?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "The last thing I remember was sitting in my chair in the audience." He was telling the truth. You could tell.

And then we saw the young lady whose boyfriend was fuming at her because she had unknowingly stimulated an orgasm on stage. Poor thing - didn't have a clue. Fortunately, this huge linebacker of a man was near them and happily said,  "Hey, we're in Vegas. Let's all relax and have a great time. You did great, miss!" With that, the guy chilled right out and the young lady smiled and thanked him.

So there you go, Glenn. My big $500 win in Vegas on my very first trip. There's been 15 more trips, all with stories. But they can wait for another day. Vegas will always be there. Peace out, homies...