When women... sorry, people stand together

Unfortunately (or, sorry, but fortunately in my case), this
is the world I live in. Happy guy up front, happy little play
castle behind him. No one get hurt. No one cries. No one
feels pain. Turns out it's a made-up world. Reality is not.

I may be the absolute wrong guy to write about this.

But I'm going to, anyway. Not because I'm fearless or anything like that. I'm not. I'm stupid - seriously, man, dumb as a goddamn post - but I guess I try to do the right thing. Because I kinda have as a parent. We'll get to that in a second.

This is a story about women - or more specifically, women in the Ontario craft beer industry - standing together. Standing up. Speaking out against shit I had no idea was even happening. Again, please refer to the previous paragraph. No idea. Dumb as a post.

But again, while not knowing is not a great excuse, not speaking out when you DO know? There is no excuse for that. I seldom tread these murky waters. Today, I'm going to.

There are reasons I seldom tread these waters and lemme lay them out for you. I am old. I am white. And I am male. If you look at the world today, I pretty much look like a spokesman for absolute dickheads. Total assholes. People who have power but who shouldn't.

And Bingo was his name-oh. Just because something is
not a problem for me does not mean it's not a problem.
I have never personally faced sexism. I have never
personally faced racism. But I would be an absolute
idiot to say it's not a problem. It is a daily reality for
many. I get that I'm in a fortunate position. I really do.

You see, we now live in a world where I watched a very credible woman - a doctor - speak out against a candidate for the American Supreme Court for, and I will say, "alleged" past sexual misconduct. Did I believe her? Every word. Why? Lemme tell you. This goes to the actual candidate himself. He screamed like a damn banshee up there. All he had to say was "No, I didn't." That's it. He's already a federal judge. Establish that fraction of a doubt is the credo of the court-room and by extension, a Senate judicial hearing. However, he decided a better approach would be to have a tantrum most of us would not accept from a two-year-old. His words did not tarnish her credibility in my mind. It added to her case, if anything.

So the end result? He got his seat on the US Supreme Court. Justice for all? Not a chance. His case, oddly, seemed to hinge on the fact that he used to hang with Frat Bros named Biff and Jiff and Wiff, good ol' boys just drinking beers. And questioning a female Senator over the amount of beers she drank. All I saw was the epitome of White Male Privilege sitting there.

And lemme tell you something else for free, that phrase means two very different things... depending on the white male.

I saw these two women down in Las Vegas. I have absolutely no
idea where or why they got these hats. I was just thrilled they
were happy to pose for a stranger. Perhaps it was because I
was laughing so damn hard when I spotted them. Too funny!
Also they really speak to what I'm saying along here today...

To guys like that, it's means "I can act however I want with impunity." To guys like me, it simply means I've never been punished, neglected, denied or put upon because my skin happens to be a certain colour or I'm a different gender. What it does not mean is that I'm allowed to act like a colossal asshole!! (And if I do inadvertently act like a colossal asshole, I hope the only one ever hurt by that is me.) So I guess my life's been perfect, right? Nope. Life is filled with ups and downs. Like everyone reading this, I've had both. Life can, at times, be a tough ship to navigate for most of us. None of us are exempt. But I would be the first to admit the waters can be far choppier for many, many others.

Now before I get to what this is really about, it's full disclosure time. And it's simply this. I'm far from perfect. No one's gonna offer me any sainthood. Thirty years ago, I don't think I was the guy that I hope I am now. But the times have changed from 30 years ago. I think I have changed with them. For the better, I hope. That's for others to decide.

My motto in the 2020 Presidential race would be
simply, "No, I'm a different Donald. Also don't
call me Donald. Donny will do. Oh yeah, I'm
also giving big tax breaks to craft breweries."
This, people, is how politics should work but...

A large part of that was having a special needs son 27 years ago. That seems to quickly instill within a parent a real sense of protecting the vulnerable. Though special needs or not, every parent has (or should have) that protective urge.

But over time, you begin to realize that many others are also vulnerable. Last week when I was in Las Vegas (being Happy Carefree Donny), I took a bite of a nasty reality sandwich. I noticed all sorts of people being critical of the Ontario Beverage Network and I had no idea why. So I did what I always do.

I asked my old pal, Drunk Polkaroo. He's far more plugged into the Ontario Craft Beer industry than I'll ever be. He told me simply, "Go to Robin's Facebook page." Robin would be Robin LeBlanc, the co-author of The Ontario Craft Beer Guide, Vol. 1 and 2.

So I did. There was a post about no longer using the OBN as a resource tool. So I followed the post and it turned out it was about a man who was physically and emotionally abusive to his partner. Both he and she were in different wings of the Ontario craft beer industry. She worked for Side Launch Brewing and he was an OBN founder. I didn't recognize his name.

While my son, David, was always be my hero, these four fill the
bill nicely as well. Clockwise from top left, that's Robin LeBlanc,
Jordan St John, Robert aka the Drunk Polkaroo and up front,
his awesome partner, Kat. Robin's hero status is a little higher
these days as she did a pretty important thing. Please read on...

But my stomach turned when I recognized hers. Jen. You see, Jen was the Side Launch beer rep for my Beer Store not long after I started this blog. I loved when Jen came by. We would talk about craft beer, the craft beer industry and actually our expectation for that very industry. As I was maybe a year into this, she was an invaluable inside source. Open, honest, friendly, very informative and just genuinely nice. I got fun tid-bits of info on Side Launch and other craft breweries, which numbered maybe 150 and change back in those 2014 days. I think that she liked that I had a working knowledge of the Ontario Craft Beer industry, something I suspect wasn't really expected at that time from a Beer Store employee. Anyway, I just called her Side Launch Jen and was immediately alerted if she came into the store. I was, apparently, deemed to be the best person in the immediate vicinity to talk to craft beer reps.

So anyway, on her Facebook page when Robin stated she would no longer be using OBN as a resource, the inevitable "Why? What's going on?" questions came up. Which was good. Because I sure didn't have a clue. And then Jen came on and told her story. I'll tell you this, it was not a fun read. It was pretty horrible. Just disgusting, to be more accurate. And that was reading it. Imagine living it like Jen did.

Apparently, this was known by a healthy handful of people and kept hush-hush. They did a good job of it, I'll give them that.

Because if we don't ALL stand together, then
we fall apart. I will always believe that it's
better to link arms, rather than raise them.

When I returned home from Vegas, I sat down and wrote Jen a private message, not entirely sure if she'd remember me. We haven't seen each other in years. She responded. She did remember me and without giving away too many details of a private conversation, she graciously thanked me for my support.

I also messaged Robin privately and thanked her. Again, without too many details of a private talk, I will say that I told Robin that I got the sense that Jen was trying to let people know but because this man was well-connected, the ugly ordeal was, more or less, kept under wraps. I think Robin LeBlanc took a sledgehammer to the Asshat Cone of Silence and handed Jen a platform. And here's the thing. Robin is one of the best-known beer writers in Ontario. Her social media platform is not tiny. It's extensive. But here's the other thing. Not everyone has a Robin LeBlanc so we all, women and men, have to be more like her. To stand up and speak out against the really shitty things. Yesterday on Twitter, Robin said I was "one of the more vocal cheerleaders of the people and the drinks in this industry." I'm not sure that praise is deserved but today, Robin, I got vocal. We all need to be Robin LeBlanc when necessary. Today, for me, it was. Ladies, if you don't mind an old, white guy beside you... we stand together.

Brewery news you probably knew

Craig Flynn and Brenda O'Reilley, who are the owners
of YellowBelly Brewery in St John's, Newfoundland,
just took possession of the 126-year-old Cathedral of
the Immaculate Conception in Harbour Grace and
will renovate it into a brewery, taphouse, beer garden,
hotel an spa over the next two years. Is this a godsend?

A lot of us think of drinking good craft beer as practically a religious experience. Perhaps I don't equate all that to a "march a pair of every animal onto a big boat to avoid a flood" kind of religious experience but I certainly think it's a "Mother of Mary, this is a goddamn good beer!" type of religious experience. As you may have ascertained, I'm not particularly prone towards religion. That said, I'm very spiritual when it comes to good beer.

But let's look at this from a different spiritual angle, shall we? And I'm gonna bypass the Catholic Church with this one and go straight for a vacant Catholic Cathedral. A really big cathedral (as they tend to be.)

Recently, Craig Flynn and Brenda O'Reilly, the owners of the very successful YellowBelly Brewery and Restaurant in St John's, Nfld, purchased the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Harbour Grace, Nfld. The distance between the city and town is 46 kilometres (27 miles) directly across Conception Bay as the crow flies or 107 kilometres (66 miles) if you're driving. So why would they buy this cathedral for an undisclosed amount of collection plate cash? Well, truth to tell, the gorgeous-looking Gothic structure of yore, built in 1892, has sat empty since 2014.

This George Clooney-looking dude is none other
than Liam Mckenna, the lovable brewmaster at 
YellowBelly Brewing. When the cathedral project
takes off, well, Liam's job will expand quite a bit.

Now in 2014, a real estate appraisal declared it to have no market value. They must have been talking about the cathedral itself because let's face it, land always has get-out-the-cheque-book-now! value. That's the bonus of being a finite resource. At that exact same time, an engineering consultation said it would cost $9 million to restore the building. So the Church gave that a hard pass and let it sit vacant. That is until the Roman Catholic Diocese of Grand Falls sat down with Flynn and O'Reilly this year. A deal was struck between the two sides and now the pair will redevelop the building into... I love this part... a craft brewery, a taphouse-restaurant, a beer garden and a little further down the road, a hotel and a spa. Let us pray!!

The whole reno is gonna start this January with the hopes of maybe being open by Summer 2020. And again, that's the brewery-restaurant-beer garden part only. Like I said, the rest gets done when it gets done. Now I don't know either of the owners. But I do know the YellowBelly Brewmaster, one Liam Mckenna. So I went to him and asked, hey, what's going on? Your owners bought a church??

"No," he replied. "A cathedral. You could fit six churches inside it."

Well, YellowBelly Brewery and Public House at 288 Water Street in St.
John's, Newfoundland is about to get a sister brewery in Grace Harbour,
Nfld, named... well, I guess no one knows that yet. However, it's gonna be
in a big cathedral and will kick about a ton of ass! Excuse my blasphemy.

So, I asked, you're the Brewmaster for both now?
"Yep. (I'll be) hiring head brewers for each (while) I'll be the Vice-President of Brewing."

And as VP of Brewing, what will his duties be vis-a-vis the new cathedral brewery operation? "(I'll be) specifying, ordering equipment, personnel planning, hiring, training, overseeing all electrical-structural-mechanical and brewer-related (issues), budgeting, planning, environmental. Typical shit."

I don't know, gang, does any of this sound like typical shit to you? Typical shit to us is "Oh, crap, it's Monday." I mean, I go into work, sell beer, go home, drink beer... rinse, repeat.

Taras Manzie, President-CEO of Lake of the Woods
Brewing in Kenora, is opening a second brewery. That
has happened before (Mill St, Bellwoods) except that
Manzie is opening his second one in Warroad, a tiny
town in Minnesota. He will effectively be the first ever
Ontario brewery to open a satellite outfit in the USA,

Liam and I must have very different day-planners. Just sayin'. But this new cathedral brewery? Talk about an ultra-cool travel destination for craft beer lovers. A former cathedral? Praise be... to Odin.

Okay, so here's a separate story about an Ontario craft brewery opening a second destination. But this one has a unique and original twist. The second brewery is in another country. For that, let's travel to Kenora, Ontario which is about as north-west as you can get in Ontario without actually being in Manitoba. I worked there as a fresh-faced journalist briefly in the mid-1980s. I came back to Southern Ontario because it was simply too cold for me to hang there in the winter, hitting minus-40C or minus-40F, if you prefer. (The Celsius and Fahrenheit scales meet at minus-40.) We had to plug in our cars at night. And yes, I am a wuss. Like I said, worked there briefly.


Someone who is definitely not a wuss? That would be Taras Manzie, the President and CEO of Lake of the Woods Brewing in Kenora. While LOW Brewing has been around since June 2013 (Hey, the same time I started writing this crap blog! Coincidence??? Yes, completely. Smarten up), he was looking for a new challenge. He found a big one. Last week, LOW Brewing announced they'd be opening a second brewery in Warroad, Minnesota.

On the bottom is the five-year-old Lake of the Woods Brewing up in
Kenora while on the top are the designer sketches of the new Lake of
the Woods Brewing in Warroad, Minnesota, slated to open in 2019.

Wait. Minnesota? Like United States' Minnesota? Yupper do. What's not a coincidence? When LOW Brewing opened, it was in Kenora's old firehall. If you look at the picture, you can see where the trucks came in and out. As for the new LOW Brewing in Minnesota? Also located where the town's old firehall was.

Just as the Kenora LOW Brewing is Ontario's most northern brewery, the Minnesota version is about to become the state's most northern brewery, as well.

As well as the name, the two breweries share something else in common. A shoreline view of Lake of the Woods, a 70 mile (113 km) long lake with 14,550 islands. Bordered by Ontario, Manitoba and Minnesota, Kenora is situated at the north-east corner of the lake while Warroad is down on the south-west corner. That said, they are separated by 220 kilometres (137 miles).

The only picture I could find of the old Warroad
Minnesota firehall looked like it was taken in
about 1910 - fuzzy as hell. So instead, I've opted
to use a picture of their water tower. It's tall...

In a media release, Manzie noted, "We want to service the lake and the lake is touched by Minnesota, Manitoba and Ontario. That's sort of our wheelhouse. That's our backyard. That's where we'll play and operate and work to develop communities."

Eric Nerland, the President of the new Minnesota LOW Brewing, was equally pumped (firehall humour) about the new project. "We are so excited to be bringing Lake of the Woods Brewing Company's history, brand and quality to Minnesota."

While numerous Ontario breweries have been exporting their product to the United States, this is the first time an Ontario has actually built another brewery in the US. Pretty big news. So I asked Manzie how long this has been in the works.

"We've been working on it for close to a year," he told me. "Construction's already underway but slowly. (We're) slated to open in the late Winter, early Spring 2019. The (brewing) equipment will arrive in January. So yeah, we're pretty excited, too." Wow, opening another brewery in the US - I mean, geez, Taras, how do you top that?

The founders of Longslice Brewery - from left, Sebastian
Lesch, John Peat and Jimmy Peat. When I first met this trio
in the Summer of 2015 at the Burlington Summer Craft Beer
Festival, they were contract-brewing at Cool Brewing in
Etobicoke. They are just months away from independent
brewing at The Aviary in the Canary District of Toronto.

"There will be more announcements coming soon about some pretty exciting OTHER developments that have been in the works, as well," he teased.

Okay, so here's another development by another brewery, this time in Toronto. I first met brothers Jimmy and John Peat and Sebastian Lesch back in the Summer of 2015 when they took part in the Burlington Summer Beer Festival. Their Longslice Brewery was basically just starting out but did have a beer on the market, their Hopsta La Vista IPA. That beer - recipe created by Jimmy - was tasty enough to have won them the Best British Style IPA at the 2015 Ontario Brewing Awards. So basically, they came flying out of the gate.

But as long as I've known them (Jimmy and I have been Facebook friends since that time while the other two will not accept my calls because their cell phone plans are clearly sub-standard), they've been contract brewing. Their Hopsta La Vista was followed by Loose Lips Lager, which has now collected two consecutive silvers at the Ontario Brewing Awards for Best Oktoberfest-Marzen in 2017 and now 2018.

John Peat, one third of Longslice Brewing, wears
their Ontario Brewing Awards silver for Loose Lips
Lager in The Aviary pouch like it's a big old gun.

But ever since their humble beginnings, the guys have longed to own their own brewery. Looks like that dream is close to being realized. Earlier this year, it was announced that Longslice Brewing and The Dock Ellis (restaurant) would be partnering to open a joint establishment - The Aviary, a brewpub in the heart of Toronto's Canary District.

For those unfamiliar with the name Dock Ellis, he was a Major League baseball pitcher with five different MLB clubs from 1968 to 1979. On June 12, 1970, he threw a no-hitter and later claimed to be high on LSD when he accomplished the rare feat.

But I'm not sure any of these Longslice guys were even born then. So let's move along with the story. The Dock Ellis is, of course, handling the food side of The Aviary and its 230 seats while the Longslice crew is handling the beer in their new back-of-house brewing facility. It opened in August and if you are a sports nuts, this place is loaded with TVs tuned into every possible game playing. I talked to Jimmy - again, the third of the trio taking my calls and usually answering, "Hey, what's the action?" - just before the opening and he was pretty pumped (this time, keg humour.)

The logo for The Aviary, as well as a tasty beverage. According to the
group, The Aviary will have a "fun, community-friendly vibe with a
focus of craft beer, amazing food and sports." Hey, three of my favourite
things right there! Finally Longslice Brewery will be an actual brewery!

"Yeah, The Aviary is the brewpub side of our new brewery in the Canary District. The brewhouse is still being fabricated but we hope to have it up and running this Fall," he said. (Mission accomplished, I believe - if not, then very close.)

He explained The Dock Ellis being the food and "front of house" component while they would be slaving over the vats in the back. Their vats. Longslice's vats. Yes, they are now (or soon will be) a brewery.

But the fellas have more than Hopsta La Vista and Loose Lips Lager in their arsenal now, adding Aloha Friday Hibiscus Pale Ale, Slam Dunkel dark wheat beer and Klondike Clarke, a new golden ale. I'm pretty pumped (this time, fist pump "Yes!" humour) for these guys and the next leg of their adventures in brewing. Great guys!

Lake of Bays Brewing has a big announcement Monday
and I strongly suspect this is the new label for their new
East Coast style IPA. I have a hunch it'll be called Anchor.

Okay, finally, let's look to Baysville, Ontario and our friends at Lake of Bays Brewing. I haven't seen their sales rep extraordinaire Tim Glazen in a couple of years but he and I always had a great chat when he popped into my Beer Store. Since then, I've been bounced from store to store in an effort to find a crew that can stand me for more than 10 minutes. We're still working on that. Meanwhile, Tim himself have seen his boundaries altered and changed in the same time period. But we recently reconnected at my latest store, Tim had some big news for me. Lake of Bays was dropping their newest beer, a New England-Style IPA "at the end of this month." Well, this is the end of that month. And Lake of Bays announced a new release for Monday. Here it comes, folks, another big beer. Yes, guy!

But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. My next blog will be about Las Vegas, written in Las Vegas, as I fly there tonight. Until then, I remain...

When Beer Bro Glenn comes to town...

Hug Buddies Glenn and David check out a video on Glenn's phone while
we dine at The Three Brewers brewpub on Winston Churchill Blvd in
Oakville. The restaurant is right next to the Cineplex Odeon theatre and
that is usually our primary destination. Glenn joins in with us these days.

Beer Bro Glenn has a couple more reasons to drive into Oakville these days when superhero movies come out.

You see, his son, Jake, is now in his mid-teens and has little interest in hanging with either Mom or Dad. I'm sure we remember that phase in our teenage years all too well. Frankly, it'd be far odder if he did want to hang with them.

However, even at age 27, my son, David, is still very much a young and loving soul (with occasional teenage attitude) and still digs hanging with Dad, especially for superhero movies. To that end, when David is in town, if there is a superhero movie playing, I have taken to inviting Glenn as he and David are long-time Hug Buddies.

When we went to the Cineplex Odeon in Oakville to
see Ant-Man and The Wasp, both Glenn and I were
stunned to see this beer vendor in the lobby. All on
ice, he had the usual macro assortment (which I have
cropped out) but right in the middle were these two
Amsterdam Brewing beauties - their Boneshaker IPA
and their Cruiser All Day Session Ale. Pretty sweet!

So far, Glenn has been invited twice and has made the effort both times to drive here from Oshawa, where he hangs his hat. The first time was a couple months back when Deadpool 2 came out. I hadn't seen it as I was waiting for David's impending visit from Sarnia. (With a movie that blockbuster, a two week wait is no easy task.) I was messaging Glenn asking what it was like and he confessed he hadn't seen it. That's when he told me Jake wasn't currently interested in seeing movies with Dad, which, while completely understandable, does take a little wind out of a guy's sails. That said, we all know, wait five or six years and Jake will come around to appreciate his parents again. The early 20s are the "When did Mom and Dad get so smart?" years. Because, of course, parents know shit when their kids are teenagers.

So anyway, Glenn made it down to Oakville first for the Deadpool movie and then, a few weeks later, this time for Ant-Man and The Wasp. In his best Siskel and Ebert, Glenn has declared these two movies, as well as Thor: Ragnarok to be the three funniest superhero movies of all time. I tend to agree. In the Ant-Man movies, there's a Hispanic character named Luis (actor Michael Pena), the best friend of the hero Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), who frankly steals both movies in the budding franchise.

When we went to see Ant-Man and The Wasp, the show
we were going to see was sold out so we had to wait an
hour for the next one. In the meanwhile, we killed that
hour at Boston Pizza. While they were a Molson's bar,
they did have Muskoka Detour Session IPA so hell to the
yeah! Unfortunately, their glassware was quite limited.

As soon as he starts talking, the theatre starts laughing. He's frikkin hilarious. If this guy narrated Schindler's List, I'd still piss myself laughing and I'm Jewish! No, wait, I'm Irish. I always confuse those two.

But anyway, as the three of us went up to the Ticket ATM for Ant-Man and the Wasp, it turned out our show was sold out. Fortunately, it was Opening Weekend so we just grabbed tickets for the next one an hour later. The Three Brewers brew-pub next to the Cineplex was closed for an hour for a private event so we wandered across the parking lot to Boston Pizza for a quick libation. While they turned out to be a Molson's bar, they had recently introduced Muskoka Brewing Detour Session IPA to their beer list. Sold! But when I asked the waitress for a couple of beer glasses, she brought us two freezer-frosted Coors Light glasses. While I thought that was hilarious and posted it on Twitter, poor Muskoka was clearly distraught, responding, "Avert your gaze!" (Sorry, gang, my bitchin' Muskoka glass, gifted to me by Barrie Beer Bro Hago, was at home. Oddly, I never think to bring it to the movies.)

The last time Glenn came down, among the assortment of beers
he brought was Really Good Friends Saison from our friends
at Whitby's Little Beasts Brewing. The beer was brewed in
collaboration with writer Robin Leblanc and Renee Navarro
with proceeds going to PFLAG-Durham, who advocate on the
behalf of gay and lesbians, offering support and resources on
issues of sexual orientation. It's a great beer and a great cause.

But it's when we walked into the Cineplex that Glenn and I got a pleasant surprise. There stood a vendor in front of an ice-filled tray with cans of beer. Yeah sure, the macros were there (Bud and Bud Lite, I think), pretend-micro (Shock Top), used-to-be-micro (Mill St Organic Lager) but hot damn, right in the middle, Amsterdam Brewing's Boneshaker IPA and their Cruiser All Day Pale Ale! Also a cider but I forget whose. Colour us thrilled. I took a Boneshaker, Glenn took a Cruiser and David got bottled water, you know, in case the adults got unruly. So off we went to see Ant-Man and The Wasp with real beer in our hands. I hope that's a full-time thing for that Cineplex now.

But let's look past the movies and towards the fact that when Glenn lands here from Oshawa, he never comes empty-handed. He comes complete with a box of tasty-ass beers from east of Toronto (I gift back with west of Toronto beers) and now is as good a time as any to look at a few of the highlights of his recent benevolence.

Let's start with Little Beast Brewing's (Whitby) Really Good Friends Saison.

When Matt Allott, owner of Manantler Craft Brewing,
sees Glenn, he always has a couple of beauties tucked
away for him. This was a stellar one! Brewed with their
pals at Boshkung Brewing, the All Shook Up Chocolate
Peanut Butter Imperial Milkshake Porter was a winner!!

When I was pulling the brews out of the box on one of his recent trips, I spotted one - Little Beasts Brewng (Whitby) Really Good Friends Saison - and immediately blurted out, "Hey, that's Robin's beer!" I was referring to Robin LeBlanc, the co-author of The Ontario Craft Beer Guide, Vol. 1 and 2. I had been following the creation of this beer on her Twitter. But it was more than just Robin. Right beside her was Ren Navarro, a speaker and educator (the role of diversity in society.) And, of course, let's not forget the actual brewers, Erin Broadfoot and John Henley, the owners of Little Beasts. As I understand it, they kinda helped a little, too.

So the unique aspect about this beer's creation is that part of the proceeds through sales go to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) Durham Region. It was initially released on July 17, right around the time of one of Glenn's visits and good golly Miss Molly, he happened to grab me one. The 5.5% saison was a tasty one - lots of orange on the nose and spiced on the back end, pepper for sure. And the name - Really Good Friends? Turns out that's what gay couples call their significant other when introducing them to their older relatives, like homophobic Uncle Bob.

This was the Milkshake IPA that Glenn was convinced would
turn me on to the style. But, hey, I had already had a few that I
did, in fact, enjoy but hey, it's from Bellwoods so don't tell him.

No one needs to see ol' Bob's head explode at the Thanksgiving table. Although that could be fun. Nahhhh. Leave him in the dark. He's used to living there.

Okay, whenever Glenn visits me, it seems like Manantler Craft Brewing out there in Bowmanville has just released yet another (or more) big beer. Now I believe Glenn asked owner Matt Allott to hold aside a couple of their All Shook Up Chocolate Peanut Butter Imperial Milkshake Porters if he could. Turns out hey, Matt could. Thank gawd because this was a frikkin choco-bomb! A collaboration with their friends at Boshkung Brewing (Minden), this was the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup of porters. At 8.5%, it was all chocolate malts and nuttiness. Just insanely tasty. But you know what the problem with tasting like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup is? Nothing!!! What are you - crazy? They're nature's most perfect, completely-artificial, commercially-produced food!!! Mankind will never do better!! And shouldn't try. Once you hit the mountain-top, there's only one direction to go.

As you can see, only one beer out of Glenn's last trip was reviewed here,
which means there a whole lotta Glenn beers to go and, of course, Glenn
stories to start this little column with, including the time he split his
pants in front of the Queen of England. Oh wait, I think I dreamed that
one. Man, that was a funny dream. He still got knighted, which is odd.
But she accidentally sliced off his ear, which was some Van Gogh shit...

One thing Glenn always tries to do before he lands here is pop into Bellwoods Brewing, up on Hafis Road in North York. I think they're sorta close to his parents' place. Which is dope because the original brewery at Queen and Ossington in Toronto is tough to get land at, especially on the weekend for us out-of-towners. So the Hafis Road opening was a blessing for most of us.

So last time, Glenn was bound and determined to find me a Milkshake IPA that I would enjoy. The fact is I had already enjoyed a couple at that point after my initial resistance to them. I did not like the mouthfeel of lactose in my IPAs.

Okay, what we have here is five-sevenths of last December's Whitby
Craft Brewery Invasion. Last weekend at Buster Rhino Southern BBQ's
closing night were, from left, Beer Bro Glenn, Newmarket Beer Store
Brother Paul, our Main Man at GM Joe, the lovely Candice and the
Ontario Carpenter of the Year Josh. It's a real award. Don't Google it.

That said, by the time Glenn landed with a beauty, Flying Monkeys' Live Transmission Milkshake IPA and Collective Arts' Liquid Art Fest Milkshake IPA had already won me over after a few early "I'll Pass, Thanks" failed tastings of the style. Wasn't my kettle of fish.

So anyhoo, Glenn brought me a Bellwoods' Milkshark Pineapple Milkshake IPA and declared, "This will make you like Milkshake IPAs!!!" (Again, a tad late out of the starting gate but shhhh, don't tell him - free beer!) Okay, this 7% bad boy was huge pineapple and vanilla on the nose so I was a little worried about over sweetness. Turns out that wasn't really a concern. You can't tell from the picture but this had a fairly hefty body to it.

Glenn doing his wannabe Ciccerone thing down in the Batcave. "Hmm,
I'm detecting fruity notes and an unusual haze to this..." Glenn, it's a
frikkin Naughty Neighbour APA. Just drink it!! But this dude brings
some great beers to Donny's Bar and Grill so no complaints on my end!

There was almost an element of "ice cream float" to this but there was a tangy quality which was hard to resist. It's funny. I would never eat pineapple as a fruit straight-up and the notion of it being on a pizza makes me wanna reach for the Hurl Bucket. But in a beer? Damn, I do love me some pineapple! And this one did it perfectly. Surprise, surprise, another strong outing from Bellwoods.

Okay, I still have dozens of "Glenn Beers" to talk about in the future but I'm wings up for Las Vegas on Saturday night and there's still one more of these "pithy little nuggets of wisdom" (shut up - I put that in quotes) that I want to crank out before I'm airborne.

The next one is mostly a quick look at recent events and the business end of things - a brewery opening in a huge cathedral, an Ontario brewery starting a second one in the United States, old friends finally landing their own brewpub to beat the contract brewers status and a few other things. You know, dry, boring stuff that I'll try to make slightly less dry and boring.

And Glenn, just remember, within five years, your son will shed his teenage cocoon and appreciate how much Mom and Dad do for him. It's a waiting game for every parent. But Scooby Doo Gang, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. Until next time, I remain...