A closer look at Highlander Brewing Co.

Did you know Highlander Brewing Co has "gots its
own band"? I did. I saw these bad boys parading and
playing down the main stretch at the Burlington
Beer Festival on Sunday, July 19. 'Twas very grand!

The private message to me on Twitter came as something of a surprise. It came from whomever mans the Highlander Twitter account (I would find out soon enough) and it basically told me I had missed something very special at the Burlington Beer Festival. It was a short video of the Grand Celtic Pipe Band out of Fergus, Ontario that is sponsored by Highlander Brewing Company from South River, a tiny cottage town just 50 kilometres (31 miles) south of North Bay.

"Oh, what you missed!" the message said jokingly. "We gots our own band!" Well, actually, not only did I not miss the pipe band  (as you can see from the picture), Beer Fest co-organizer Wayne Brown sought me out very specifically just before they began their march through Spencer Smith Park so that I wouldn't miss it. Despite a plethora of outstanding musical talent playing the stage over the three-day fest, Wayne was particularly pumped for these laddies and lassies in kilts. And man, did this pipe band add a strong (though brief) note of distinction and class to a weekend of reckless and unfettered beer sampling. (Very unfettered in my case... and 57% more reckless than the average Beer Fest attendee. Hey, we all have our skills. Doesn't necessarily mean they're good or noble skills. "Skills" are a very fluid concept to the human condition. In my case, completely fluid-related.)

Brewmaster and founder of Highlander Brew Company
Brian Wilson, left, and co-owner Dwayne Wanner hold up
some of their fine products in this 2013 photo. This brewery
has seen slow but constantly upward growth since the start.

Okay, back to this Twitter private messaging with Highlander. Before long, I learned that it was Brian Wilson on the other end. Not The Beach Boys' founder, of course, but rather the co-founder (with his wife Jennifer) of Highlander Brew Co. when they began it back in 2010. As it turns out, Brian was one of thousands to get laid off from major financial firm in 2009 and he decided to use his sweet severance package to move his family up north and start his own craft brewery. You know that old sawhorse - financier becomes craft brewer. We've all heard it a million times. Or at least once. Now.  But thank Dionysus (Roman God of booze) it happened because this brewery cranks out some of the best malt-driven (if you ever hear me say either the phrases 'malt-forward' or 'hop-forward', run me over with your car) specialty beers in the entire province.

These Highlander guys don't mess around. Here's
some hardware from the 2014 Ontario Brewing
Awards - a silver for their outstanding Smoked
Porter and a bronze for their solid Scottish Ale.

Well now, those who know me well know I tend to lean towards the hoppy stuff but to be frank, that's not the entirety of what I enjoy. Hops, malts, it's honestly doesn't matter. If it's good, just bring it. And I have a Beer Bro who might just be able to illustrate how good Highlander is with the malts.

My old college buddy Stevil St Evil popped into Donny's Bar and Grill in early June from his home in Wellington, New Zealand. If Stevil could bathe in hops, he would... just like Scrooge McDuck used to dive into and swim through his big vault of cash. Good old cartoons. Scrooge used to dive into all that coin like it was water, instead of the more realistic, "I just broke my neck and possibly my back doing a 35-foot dive onto this pile of currency actually made of hard metals. Please call an ambulance!" Cartoon characters believe if a bomb explodes in their hands, they'll be fine 10 seconds later. Wile E Coyote has lead many a cartoon astray. Back to the point, though. Because Stevil is such a renowned Hop Hound, I made sure I was stocked hard with some of the best IPAs Canada (mostly Ontario) had available. And yeah, he enjoyed the hell out of them. But only one beer stopped him in his tracks - Highlander's Smoked Porter. Upon having it, he instantly added them to his Twitter for the singular purpose of praising them directly, something he most decidedly did not do with any other brewery and their many tasty, top-notch IPAs. Like me, Stevil appreciates all styles of beer and happily says so when he comes across something extraordinary.

Okay, just to clear the record. THIS Brian Wilson
fronted The Beach Boys before becoming a total
recluse in the 1970-80s, hooked on cocaine, alcohol,
binge-eating, exhibiting behaviour best described
as paranoia and becoming the guy who lived in
his bath-robe. As far as we know, the only thing
applicable here to Highlander's Brian Wilson
is his unusual penchant for wearing bath-robes.
Fortunately, South River does not have a Walmart

In fact, after Twitter, he went onto beer rating site Uptappd, gave it a perfect score out of five, saying simply, "Top flight smoked porter! World class!" (He had similar praise for their Scottish Ale but more on that... oh pretty much instantly.)

So when the brewery kicked off in their tiny South River outfit, Brian made but one beer for two straight years - the Scottish Ale. To those who wonder what a Scottish Ale is, as opposed to, say, a Scotch Ale, he had a pretty amusing answer for writer Brian J Papineau in an 2013 interview. "Scottish Ale? Beer geeks will argue it really isn't a style but I brew it and I can call it whatever the hell I want!"

A decision at the same time to join the Ontario Craft Brewers (association) gave him to ability to increase his availability from about 32 LCBO's to over 100, including the much-desired Greater Toronto Area and Ottawa region. Before long, the delicious Smoked Porter and then Lion Grass Ale and Twisted Spruce Ale (both Spice/Herb/Vegetable brews) were added to the brewery's arsenal and the rest, as they say, is rock and roll history... well, okay, it's only rock and roll history if you're that other Brian Wilson.

That Twisted Spruce? In essence, it's the same sort of recipe as the excellent beer I had last Summer made by Heather Ales Brewery in Clackmannanshire, Scotland called Alba Scots Pine Ale, which used shoots of spruce boiled with the malted barley early of the brewing process. The aroma is pine, the taste is all malts and woody. Outstanding style of beer, originally created by the Vikings way back when.

Well, isn't this a little skid of delicious? Highlander
beers get ready to get busy in some lucky Ontario bars!

And as you may have read here earlier this Summer, they added a seriously big gun (more of an atomic cannon, really) to the growing arsenal when they visited the Burlington Beer Festival in July - their Wee Heavy Scotch Ale. A big step up from their Scottish Ale, (5% vs 8%), this one doesn't pussy-foot - it's bold, it's brash - all caramel and Scotch on the nose, woody, malty and tasty on the tongue. Dynamite brew. And believe me, the Scottish Ale was already a solid beer before this... so you get the idea. Stevil's review of their Scottish Ale on Untappd - again, a perfect five with the notes, "Smooth and balanced, yet robust. Aces!" Methinks the Wee Heavy would slay him.

But here's the Question Of The Day. While all other craft brewers are going hop-crazy, why does Brian stick to these malt-driven beers? Is he simply being a stubborn Scotsman? Here's two answers: first the one he gave that intrepid interviewer in 2013 and the one I just got last week. "I really appreciate the complexity of malt and how it can impact the over-all flavour profile. Trends are showing hop-heavy beers. It can easily get out of control. I feel balance is so very important."

Okay, I can find NO connection between the musical
Brian Wilson and craft beer so let's look elsewhere.
Well, how about Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin? Yes.
Seems his son, Logan, owns the Beavertown Brewery
based in London, England. The only beer of theirs I
have tried is the Black Betty Black IPA. Really good!

So when I asked him what the next big beer wave after the India Pale Ale was (the question everyone who drinks craft beer asks these days), his answer kinda surprised me because, well, everyone in the know so far is saying sour beers. Brian went a different direction. "I think big hop beers are slimming out but I don't really do those. I think regardless of style, folks will be looking for those really well-balanced beers. Palates are becoming more sophisticated. I think you'll see a rise of the gruits and, God help me, fruit beers! Although my Summer seasonal next year uses prickly pear (and) lime rind infusion (as well as) Himalayan mountain salt, aged in a tequila barrel. (I would say) look for barrel-aging more. But hey, just my opinion..."

Well, as an amateur, I was thinking probably the goosing of lagers and pilsners but am I gonna argue with a brewer? Not today. Or tomorrow. And a beer aged in a tequila barrel? Brian, can I get that yesterday and relive my misspent college youth? As we all know, alcohol can preserve many things. Dignity is not one of them. Fortunately, I don't care. And Highlander? Hey, there can be only one! Bitch. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here. More fun coming soon. Until next time, I remain...

A night out with Nickel Brook...

If you can't count at least one brewery owner and one bar
owner among your friends, then you are living your life
all wrong. Here, John Romano, owner of Nickel Brook
Brewing and Doug Birrell, owner of The Purple Heather,
stand still just long enough to have their picture taken...

My Nickel Brook Brewing buddy, Tony and I have been trying to get together one night for drinks all summer long. The problem is while he is in the business of helping make really good beer, I am in the business of selling beer. That means our schedules are often in conflict - when he's free, I'm working and vice versa. Hey, breweries have to make beer before I can sell it, am I right?

But the stars finally aligned on Friday when he gave me a call and asked what I was doing. Well, I was working (of course) but the event would be going on long enough that I could jump in after work. You see, after eight years at the brewery, one of Tony's young co-workers, Eric, was stepping away to return to school and Tony and a few others organized a going-away party at The Purple Heather. "Can you make it over?" Tony asked.

To The Purple Heather? Uhhh, in Poker, does a straight beat a flush? To the gambling-challenged reader, the answer is yes. (However, in the washroom at Donny's Bar and Grill, nothing beats a flush.) You see, The Purple Heather is a great Burlington pub owned by a buddy, Doug, and the added feature that night of a bunch of Nickel Brook workers partying it up, well, to me, that's just a bonus...

Man, did this dude have some pipes on him!!!
Everything from Led Zeppelin to Johnny Cash
came from the stage that night and it was good!

Well, it turns out there was a surprise for Tony, as well, at The Purple Heather that night as the Hamilton band, Freedom Train, was playing. The trio, made up of brothers Carl Jennings (bass/singer), Tim Jennings (drums) and Eddie Mitchell (guitar) is long-known to Tony as he grew up in The Hammer with the Jennings boys. I hadn't heard of Freedom Train but I was soon to find out that they were indeed very popular and why that is so.

When I arrived after work, I spotted Tony instantly and quickly joined the Nickel Brook throng. When owner John spotted me, he yelled out, "What? Are you out on a day pass?" The joke was on him a little later on when I took off my black button-up shirt to show John my bright orange Las Vegas County Jail T-shirt underneath. (My inmate ID number is 80122-48021 - as is everyone's who bought this shirt, I suppose. There's a lot of us on the loose.)

From there, I made my way over to bar owner, Doug, holding court, as always, at the northern end of the table situated directly between the bar and the band. Shaking my hand, he asked with his usual gregarious smile, "You here to see Freedom Train?" Actually, no, I told him, just hanging with the Nickel Brook Mafia. He waved around at the packed bar - no easy feat during the summer months when most folks are away - and noted it was the band that drew them all in.

Stolen from their Facebook page, here's a shot of
drummer Tim playing - yes - just two drums and still
managing to get a huge rock sound with his sparse set

Looking around at quite literally dozens of pretty women in their 30s and 40s wearing Freedom Train shirts, Doug noted, "I've got to talk to the band about booking here once a month." No kidding - it made for some nice ambiance.

Given his history with the brothers, Tony gave me a crash course in the band, now together for more than two decades, before they started. All three have been in other bands before Freedom Train and have plenty on the go outside of the power-trio. Singer Carl is also a producer, musician and audio engineer at Westmoreland Recording Studio; guitarist Eddie has performed on dozens of songs and jingles and is apparently a talented designer-artist creating CD covers for other bands while Tim teaches drums at Long & McQuade, just five minutes away from me in Burlington. Beyond that, Tony warned me of their talent.

Within seconds of them starting up, I got it. Carl's voice has a four-octave range which was perfectly suited for the rock classics (including some great Led Zeppelin covers), R&B and funk they played. Eddie put on his business face, standing stoically in one spot while grinding out lick after lick. But drummer Tim? Well, here's a little story about him.

Ringo, I love you and you're my mate. But it's about time
we had a chat about your drumming skills. Better sit down.

The dude only uses two drums - a bass drum and a single mounted tom (could be a snare - I need drum lessons) with a handful of cymbals. That's it. Two drums. And they do Led Zeppelin songs! Yet, he beautifully manages to get a John Bonham beat laid down with just that in his arsenal. Even back in the 1960s with The Beatles, Ringo Starr relied on four - a bass, mounted tom, snare and floor tom. Rush's Neil Peart uses so many drums, they form a 360-degree circle around him. Two drums, unbelievable sound - that's a real skill. And I made sure to tell him precisely that during a break.

(Quick Ringo story: when a journalist once asked John Lennon if Ringo was the world's best drummer, Lennon quipped, "Ringo's not even the best drummer in The Beatles.") Anyway, an awesome night of music. But back to the Nickel Brook Bash!

I recently noticed these words at the
bottom of my beer glass after having a
pint of Muskoka's Mad Tom IPA on tap at
Burlington's Rib Eye Jack's Ale House.
All these beers later and I had never
noticed their motto on the glass' base.

Because the bar serves Nickel Brook's hoppy Naughty Neighbour Pale Ale, there was little doubt what I was purchasing first. That became a moot point soon as owner John was buying pitcher after pitcher of the same beer and refilling our glasses repeatedly. I got a chance to meet his wife, Tracey, and as I introduced myself, she said, "I know who you are." That's usually not good but this time it was. I remember John telling me months ago that she read him a blog of mine about the brewery off her phone while they were driving somewhere and mentioning she got a little misty-eyed while reciting it. Usually the only people who choke up reading this thing are English professors. I was sure to compliment her on how great their kids, Nick and Brook, are because 1) mothers love hearing that stuff and 2) it's very true in this case.

In the end, I learned three things that evening. If you get a chance to see Freedom Train, go see them! If you get a chance to go to Doug's bar The Purple Heather, actually go there! And finally, if you ever get a chance to party with John Romano, for gawd's sake, just do it!!!

The many clocks at Donny's Bar and Grill may not agree on the time (seriously, they're like snowflakes - no two are alike) but they all know this... it's time to talk about some beers! So let's go there, shall we? Now you may have read about my favourite beer technician Kylie at Rib Eye Jack's Ale House in this space once or twice but what you didn't know is that she and I have a Beer Exchange Program. I give her beer, she gives me beer - we both learn. Good on her end because, well, she's a beer technician and good on my end because I write this thing.

And what did I get in return for those crappy
Labatt-USA Bourbon Barrel Ales? Ummm,
three quality beers. Cue the Guilt Card now.

It's always been an equitable exchange program... until recently. My coworker Marie managed to get me a six-pack of that gawd-awful Labatt-USA Bourbon Barrel Ale brewed out of Genesee Brewery in Buffalo recently and I gave three to Kylie - more for chuckles, really. They taste like ass... actually, charred ass (and no, I don't know - I'm just guessing there.) What I got back in return? A Southern Tier (Lakewood, NY) Right-O-Way (session) IPA, a Great Lakes Brewing (Cleveland) Commodore Perry IPA and a Great Divide Brewing (Denver) Hercules Double IPA. Well... crap. I wasn't even remotely aware that I could feel guilt (it's awful - I do not recommend it!) but as it turns out, issues of beer parity can send me tumbling down the shame spiral. I made it up as quickly as I could by gifting her with a Stone IPA and an Amsterdam Boneshaker IPA (one of her all-time favs) T-shirt. The shirt was given to my boss at the Beer Store by our Amsterdam rep and since I was off sick, she was told subsequently by every one of my co-workers, "If you don't give that to Donny, he will, in fact, kill you." Kill is a strong word. Torture? Maim? Tickle until crying tears of anguish? Sure, they all work. But I digress...

I have had better IPAs, to be
honest, but this one comes with
a pretty funny story about it...

Those three beers were a mixed bag - all good but some moreso than others. Let's start with the Hercules Double IPA which was close to perfect and keep in mind, my Gold Standard for double/imperial IPAs is Stone Ruination Imperial IPA, at this point, the best IIPA I've ever had. Hercules comes damn close. Very fruity on the nose, piney and bitter on the tongue, the 10%, 85 IBU (international bitterness units) crotch-kicker has got it down. It'd push your grandmother off the curb into oncoming traffic for shits and giggles. Great job by Great Divide! My next favourite was, surprisingly, the session Right-O-Way by Southern Tier. At just 4.6% and I'm guessing maybe 45-50 IBUs, this was a nice day time drinker. Citrus on the nose, grapefruit on the tongue, this actually delivers. Not quite in the same league as Flying Monkeys' Genius of Suburbia either taste-wise or hop-wise but pretty damn good. And that takes us to the Commodore Perry IPA. Now don't get me wrong, this is certainly good but my standards for single IPAs are nearly impossible to meet, mainly because I've had so many great ones, notably from their Canadian counterpart of the same name, Great Lakes Brewing in Toronto. The 7.5%, 80 IBU beer has some nice orange rind on the nose, citrus on the tongue but... it falls a little short. I'm no brewer but maybe some dry-hopping at the end? The name, of course, is from the famous commander who fought on Lake Erie during the War of 1812 between Canada (well, the British, really - we weren't a country yet) and the USA (since 1776, not big fans of the Brits). You can Google him but long story short? In the US Navy and a big deal back in the early-1800s. Statues and stuff. Shares a name (Matthew Perry) with the Canadian actor called Chandler Bing ("No statues, Joey - could life BE more unfair?") from the TV show, Friends.

Manantler Brewing's Seimic Narwhal Imperial IPA -
the explanation behind this beer's name is totally worth
the price of admission. Keep in mind, you paid nothing.

Okay, since we're in the IPAs-that-didn't-quite-cut-it mode, let's look at Stonehammer's Andrew's Second Wish IPA, a beer out of the Guelph brewery that I quite admire. As I wrote back in March, Phil and Lesley Woodhouse bought the place outright from the former owners. Why? Because owning a craft brewery and winning the Stanley Cup are 1A and 1B on the Canadian Wish List. So the couple wandered from employee to employee, asking for their wish list. The Stanley Cup thing probably had a few takers but one of their brewers, Andrew, had a different list. According to the back label, his first wish was a shower. I don't know if he meant in-house or the poor bastard just wanted to go home for a shower. But his second wish was for a "really hoppy IPA." Now I'm not sure how this landed in Rib Eye Jack Ale House's possession because it was a super-limited release (I suspect the bar's head honcho Steve actually drove to the brewery). So if they got some, I got one because that's the way life should work. Okay, the beer itself - despite using five times the hops they do in their pale ale and then wort-hopping it and dry-hopping it... well, it wasn't very hoppy. It was sweet and had tons of caramel and wasn't a bad beer. But it was far more a British style than "super hoppy." Kylie had a sampler of mine and pretty much agreed. I think I got a "meh" from her but the bar can get noisy. Not what I was expecting from a 7.7%, 70 IBU beer. That said, give these new owners time. Their Coffee Oatmeal Stout is truly outstanding and I believe their best is yet to come.

Remember, people, not every hero wears a
cape. (This message is endorsed by Beer
Bro Glenn, the Pizza Dude himself...)

Well, let's end this with a left-over from Beer Bro Glenn. When he came here for the Burlington Beer Festival a month ago, he brought a handful of brews with him. Among them was Manantler Brewing's (Bowmanville, Ontario) Siesmic Narwhal Imperial IPA. Now lemme tell you what's crazy about this name. Narwhals are a type of whale indigenous to the Arctic. Recently, a handful of egghead scientists were using seismic airguns (heavy-duty sonar, let's call it) to check crevices in the Arctic for natural resources. Except the Narwhal whale is super-sensitive to noise (moreso than other whales) and thus, the introduction of this equipment to their natural habitat is the equivalent of that kid pulling into the parking lot playing hip-hop with the bass turned up to 11. Not ideal. So basically, Narwhals and Seismic noise go together like gravy and an ice-cream sundae. See? You learn cool stuff here! Or weird stuff. Whatever. And the beer? Oh, it was good. Nothing but pine on the nose, this 8.5%, 80+ IBU beer is all grapefruit on the tongue. 'Twas a beast. Nice job to the relatively New Craft Beer Kids On The Block!

Okay, back next time with a "Closer Look At..." Highlander Brewing Co. out of South River, Ontario... which means no IPAs... because they don't make one. Yet. Brewmaster Brian Wilson is a cool dude and his brewery deserves a hearty plug. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...

Time to play some catch-up...

No, no, NO! It's time to play catch-up, not
ketchup! Geezuz, heads are gonna roll in my
Graphics Department! You guys had ONE job!

The downside to cranking these beer blogs out is you tend to get behind. You have consumed dozens and dozens of different beers but there's only so much space to write about them. Some of these valiant soldiers get left behind on the battlefield.

The upside to cranking out these beer blogs is that you have consumed dozens and dozens of different beers. So really, once again, life is a trade-off. And in this particular case, one that works in my favour. Hang on, getting a text,,,
Don's Liver: "Please stop."
*texting back* "New phone. Who's this?" (Gawd, whatta baby!)

So every once in a blue moon, I have to play catch-up with the many beers consumed and since we actually saw a blue moon at the end of July, let's start there... with Blue Moon.

Molson's recently announced that they would be bringing America's best-selling Belgian-style wheat beer to Canada this Autumn, renaming it Belgian Moon up here. But here's the odd thing. Molson's has been brewing Blue Moon for the USA out of their Montreal plant since 2006. That lead both myself and former co-worker Saga to believe that Blue Moon was actually my brother's favourite Canadian beer and this country's best-selling wheat, Rickard's White.

When Belgian Moon comes to Canada in a
month or so, I will finally get to try it side-by-
side with Rickard's White to see if there is
any difference. Win-or-lose, it's a fun game

Now granted, on our end, it was just a suspicion - we quite honestly didn't have a spare Blue Moon in our possession to compare to Rickard's White so who knows? Maybe yes, maybe no.

But in a month or so, I'll have the opportunity to compare Rickard's White with Belgian Moon. Maybe even in a blind taste-test. If I'm blindfolded, perhaps my other senses, in this case, my sense of taste will be enhanced much like Beer Bro Glenn's favourite superhero, Daredevil. And if I get enough Belgian Moons in me, I might feel the urge to fight crime, though poorly, I'm guessing.

However, right off the top, I will say Rickard's White is a pretty decent beer. And more importantly, Molson's was smart to have their name all over this announcement. No subterfuge here - as bold as could be, they said, "We make this!" I like that. A few beers have snuck up here, marketed as craft beers when they are actually made by one of the big boys. Not gonna name names but it rhymes with Shock Top. Oh... okay, I guess it rhymes exactly with that. Given their size, I suppose Molson's will never be able to call this a craft beer but I get the feeling the phrase "craft-style beer" is about to enter our lexicon. But again, kudos to Molson's. If you're big and you're brewing something new, proudly take ownership of it like they did.

Beer Bro Glenn holds up one of those Labatt-USA
Bourbon Barrel Ales, made out of Buffalo's Genesee
Brewery. So how was it? Well, reviews were mixed

And speaking of Glenn, when he landed on the patio of Donny's Bar and Grill recently, I had saved him a little surprise - one of those Labatt-USA Prohibition Series Bourbon Barrel Ale, made out of the Genesee Brewery in Buffalo. It met with mixed reviews. Glenn noted of the 6% ale, "this isn't too bad. I'm getting some nice fruit off it." My buddy Greg said virtually the same thing a week prior. (Greg sticks with commercial lagers but to his credit, he favours Kokanee which is one of my favourite mainstream lagers.) I, on the other hand, was less impressed. Perhaps it was aged in a bourbon barrel... but only if that barrel was on fire because it had a very distinct charcoal taste to me, which is maybe not a flavour you want outside of your barbeque. Drinkable, yes. But not much else.

Strangely at virtually the same time, Glenn had talked me into joining the ranks of RateBeer reviewers, something I had always resisted. I use the site mostly just for the commercial descriptions of a beer and not much else. Why? I found a lot of reviews to be pretentious and smug. If you brew an IPA or Imperial Stout, hey, you're golden. But a lager, pilsner and almost any style of ale? Your beer is gonna get bent over the car hood without lube.

What's the difference between a Muskoka Brewing Mad
Tom IPA and Twice As Mad Tom Double IPA? Well, it
took coworker Ethan to point out something I never saw.

So how did Glenn talk me into it? Like this. "You've had all sorts of beers you liked, even though they got panned on RateBeer, right? Well, maybe the brewers of those beers might benefit with some positive reviews and better marks." I hadn't thought of that but one brewer actually told him that poor marks on RateBeer could be reflected in sales, just as good marks could help. "Be that guy, Don!" my old college buddy exhorted. An interesting turn-about since I'm usually told, "Don't be that guy!" The irony here? Both Glenn and I marked the Labatt Bourbon Barrel Ale on RateBeer with him giving them an 11/20 and me giving it a 12. If I was a teacher, students would flock to my class as I'd be giving out A's like Oprah gives out free cars.

Now before I get to these many beers (although I've dealt with a couple already), I wanna share a couple of quick co-worker stories first.

That's my girl, Sassy Cassy, whooping it
up at Steam Whistle's Annual Beer Store
Employee Appreciation Day, held at the
Round House back in June. Great fun!

One of my favourite co-workers is a young student named Ethan Snow (he's the bastard son of Ned Stark and also knows nothing.) One day, Ethan says to me: "You know the difference between (Muskoka's) Mad Tom IPA and Twice As Mad Tom Double IPA?" Well sure, I said. Mad Tom is 6.4% and 64 IBUs (international bitterness units) while Twice As Mad Tom is 8.4%, 71 IBUs and is aggressively dry-hopped at the end.

"Uh no," answered Ethan, a Fine Arts student. "Mad Tom is the same character on both labels but Twice As Mad Tom wears an eye-patch." I looked. He was right. Been drinking both for years and I have never noticed. Okay, I concede - you know... something, Ethan Snow.

And then there's Sassy Cassy, our Kinesiology student. One day I rushed up to her and excitedly told her, "I know the lyrics to all five songs!" Puzzled, she asked, "What five songs?" Me: "The same stupid five songs your damn dance radio station plays over and over!" She flipped me the bird as she walked away but it was with a silly-ass smile on her face. But when she returns to Thunder Bay this September, she happily saw the announcement that two beers from her local craftie, Sleeping Giant Brewing, will be available in her local Beer Stores, where she plies her trade during the school year.

Is this the beer that Gotham City needs?
Tough to say but it is another damn fine
product from the folks at Bellwoods Brewery

Okay, it's officially Beer O'Clock at Donny's Bar and Grill which can mean one of two things. 1) It's time to start talking about beer or 2) I just cracked open my first beer on a Lazy Sunday. In this case, it's both. So let's call today Black Sabbath because I'm starting with two black IPAs - Bellwood Brewery's Gotham Black Imperial IPA and Great Lakes Brewing's Apocalypse Later Black Imperial IPA. Both of these were enjoyed (immensely) at Rib Eye Jack's Ale House in Burlington, the former being my choice as I love all Bellwoods products, the latter on the advice of my trusted beer technician Kylie. They are virtually deadlocked on RateBeer with Apocalypse holding a slim 98-97 advantage. The 8%, 80 IBU Gotham smells hoppy with some piney notes but on the tongue, all coffee... if you brewed your coffee with a truck-load of hops. This was Bellwoods' third try at Gotham before they finally released it. They will serve no beer... before its time. The Apocalypse Later steps things up a notch at 10% and over 100 IBUs (taste-buds can't discern anything over 100 IBUs). Similarly, lots of citrus and pine on the nose but at that IBU, it's the expected shot-gun blast to the tongue, both malty and bitterness with some sweetness and the high ABV completely masked. Pretty much tied for me, the only reason I would give Gotham an edge is that I firmly believe Batman would drink this. (Maybe it's good I avoided RateBeer for all those years.)

This is probably the best session ale I
have had in 2015. It's got the pop of a good
IPA but checks in at a mere 3.8%.

Okay, let's swing in the opposite direction and talk about a couple of India Session Ales I enjoyed recently at Donny's Bar and Grill. (ISAs are beers that still carry some degree of hoppiness but are low in alcohol.) In this round, we are pitting Flying Monkeys (Barrie) Genius of Suburbia against Central City's (Surrey, BC) Red Racer ISA. In this case, Red Racer was the runaway RateBeer winner scoring 84 to 73. With all due respect to Central City (and zero due respect to RateBeer), I would flip those scores. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed both to varying degrees but strongly favoured the Genius and here's why. Genius, at just 3.8%, packs 52 IBUs into its punch and that usually means more hop flavour. Indeed, some citrus and pine on the nose, this wheat ale actually tastes (to me) like a proper IPA. The Red Racer ISA was a tad more lacklustre, I'm afraid and I know Glenn agrees with me on this one. So much so, when he approached the Central City booth at the Burlington Beer Festival, he pointed to the ISA and said to the servers, "Yeah, I don't like that one." (I was quick to praise their Red Racer IPA, which is excellent, as a counter-measure.) At 4% and 40 IBU, the Red Racer is a decent sessioner but almost comes off like a pilsner in its taste. As Seinfeld would say, nothing wrong with that but I'm handing Genius this round. And Flying Monkeys - my 18/20 score just boosted you to a 76 on RateBeer. Thank Glenn - he talked me into it. And Central City, sorry about Mr Blunt. He had a Donald Trump moment.

Great Lakes Brewery's Octopus Wants To Fight
IPA was a definite winner from their Tank 10
series of beers. Lawdie, this packs a real punch

Okay, let's slide back to Rib Eye Jack's again for another. I popped in for a pint on my way home last night. Kylie was readying herself to pour me my "big-ass Boneshaker IPA" in a 32-ounce (946 ml) mug as I looked in their fridge and stopped her. In there, I spied several Great Lakes Brewery's Octopus Wants To Fight IPA, a beer I have heard Glenn (also a Hop Ho like me) rave about but one I have never encountered. I'll be honest. I was planning to name the same brewery's Karma Citra IPA as my IPA of the Year for 2015 this December but it just got slightly nudged to the side. Holy Godiva, this is outstanding. Again, I bought up all the Karma Citra IPAs I could find in Burlington as quickly as possible. Love that beer, still do. I really liked their Thrust!, which Stevil St Evil got a chance to sample on his sojourn to Canada from Wellington, New Zealand... and he was impressed! But man, Karma Citra was my beer. These guys do not do a bad or even mediocre IPA - all top-flight. But then Octopus came along on its eight legs. Because it's a beer in their Tank Ten series (meaning, quite literally, the brewery sets aside Tank #10 for specialty beers), it's gonna be good. Okay, I'll tell you how good in a second but let me set the table here. Kylie's boss is a guy named Steve. Great guy, chat with him all the time and he just came back from a Beer Sampling mission with a buddy in Vermont, a hot-bed for really good single, double and triple IPAs.

Stone IPA is FINALLY in Canada! Woo! Bells
and whistles. Got a few to enjoy here. ♫ I gotta
feeling that tonight's gonna be a good good night ♫

And the entire time he was regaling me with details about his road trip, he was drinking Octopus alongside me. Does this guy know his beer? Well, let's put it this way. He is the only man (aside from actual brewers) who Kylie has ever acknowledged to me knows beers better than herself. In terms of knowledge, I am a beer enthusiast (Little League), Kylie is semi-pro (Triple-A) but Steve, man, this dude is an actual beer expert (The Show). My co-worker Jay listened to a conversation Steve and I had with a young brewer during a smoke break at the Burlington Beer Festival and confessed afterwards, "I didn't understand a single thing you guys were talking about."

So Octopus, let's talk. Deep citrus on the nose, tons of tropical fruit on the tongue, what can I say? Stevil St Evil declared it the best name of the year. And me? So far, the best IPA of the year. But Tank Ten beers always come with an little explanation on the back label. Here's Octopus Wants To Fight IPA's story.  "Our pet octopus is a bit of a jerk. He's that guy who has a couple (and) then either tells you how much he loves you or threatens to fight you. So we brewed this IPA with eight varieties of hops and eight types of malts. We targeted 88 IBU and 8.8% to appease him. Sadly, when he found out we fabricated all the the above info, it only make him more volatile. We are starting to realize that Octopus was a poor choice for a pet." That said, they did get the 88 IBUs but *only* 6.2% on the other end.

Kylie: "Are you dissing my white high-heels? I
will bury your worthless ass if you are!" No,
really, I wasn't! I was just saying... never mind

Okay, quick Kylie story before we wrap up because this one is kinda funny. When I was at the Burlington Beer festival on the Saturday (July 18), I was asked by Rib Eye Jack regulars all day long, "Where's Kylie?" Apparently, people think I have put some kind of GPS on her. I haven't. I don't have the technology. But I did finally spot her with Steve in the late-afternoon and she was all dressed in white, right down to her high heels. It had rained pretty hard the night before, there was mud everywhere so I said, "Uh, maybe not the day to wear those high heels." Okay, guys, you know how sometimes what you say can be misconstrued by a woman? Yup. I was giving a "ground condition" report. Kylie, on the other hand, took it as me giving fashion advice. "There is NO bad day for high heels," she said sharply. Okay, then, gentlemen, if you feel the urge to comment about anything a woman is wearing, you say these four words. "Wow, you look great!" Do not deviate. Do not improvise. Those four words. That's it. Nuff said. As for Kylie? Well, for all those guys that asked me, all I could say was, "Saw her briefly with her boss, Steve. She's all in white. Should be easy to spot." So all afternoon, Kylie was getting texts from regulars, saying, "Where are you? I know you're all in white." She was confused as hell as to how regulars knew that until I told her a week later. It's gotta be bloody tough being my beer technician. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...

A closer look at Longslice Brewing

THE BOYS IN THE BAND: The trio behind Longslice
Brewing is, from left, John Peat (vice-president), Sebastian
Lesch (director) and Jimmy Peat (president). At the top
left is the legal intern who will be reading this piece very
carefully and checking for litigious inaccuracies. I will
try my very best to keep that young man employed....

So you wanna be a brewer? Hey, you gotta start at the bottom... no, even lower that that... the basement.

That's where brothers Jimmy and John Peat started as teenagers in Bracebridge, Ontario. Now these brothers had the most noble of all Canadian intentions and that was this. They were underage but still wanted to stock parties hard with beer. I can practically see the Maple Leaf going up the pole when I think about it. But, as it turns out, there is no legal age for buying the ingredients needed to make beer. With the help of a clearly-indulgent father, they did precisely that - cranking out beer after beer in that Muskoka basement.

Now I am getting a little ahead of myself. You see, the beauty of beer festivals is that if it's a smaller operation such as this, you get to socialize with the actual brains behind the organization. That was precisely the case at the recent Burlington Beer Festival when I met the Peat brothers and their partner Sebastian Lesch. Over the course of the three-day festival, I had a chance to talk to the trio numerous times and because of that, it's time to take a closer look at Toronto's Longslice Brewing.

Would this be Arnold Schwarzenegger's favourite beer?
Doesn't matter. He's old. But it was the People's Choice
for Best Beer at the Burlington Beer Festival. Well done!

Now this brewery, at the moment, puts out just one beer (a second is coming - more on that in a bit): Hopsta La Vista IPA. Is it any good? Well, I'm not a beer expert but I certainly am an experienced beer enthusiast and with many fine craft beers under my belt (thus hiding my six-pack abs), I can honestly say this is, hands-down, the best British (malty), West Coast (hoppy) hybrid IPA I've ever tried. There have been several others - both Junction Craft Brewing's Engineer IPA and Stonehammer's Andrew's Second Wish IPA (to be reviewed in the near future) have tried to capture this delicate British-West Coast hybrid with varying degrees of success. Only Longslice nailed it like Canada did when we unloaded Justin Bieber on the USA. (No take-backs. He's yours now. Good luck with that.) It has a malt backbone stronger than a Chuck Norris round-house kick to the face but somehow, they also managed to sneak in 6.5%, 69 IBUs (international bitterness units) into this hot tamale.

I'm not a sinister madman brewer. I'm just
drawn that way, says sinister madman
brewer Jimmy Peat. Attention legal intern:
 litigious words here! However, given what I
know about the law, you have to prove he's
NOT a sinister madman brewer. Good luck.

Turns out I'm not the only one blown away by this beer. It won the People's Choice for Best Beer at the Burlington Beer Festival a few weekends back. More importantly, it captured gold for Best British IPA at the Ontario Brewing Awards this past Spring. Keeping in mind that British IPAs are notoriously malty and not in the least hoppy, how did they even get to enter it in the British category? While their strong use of malts no doubt helped, it may be a one-and-done for the trio. John told me, "I think they're redefining the category next year with sub-sections or whatever so we're not sure where it will be or can be entered next time."

But the beer's winning history goes back even further than that. While the trio, now based in Toronto, were brewing countless different styles, they decided to enter Jimmy's Hopsta La Vista into the 2013 Toronto Beer Week Homebrew Competition. And hey, how 'bout that, it took silver. That's when the guys decided it was time to go pro and setting up a contract-brewing deal with Cool Brewing in Toronto, they did precisely that on March 20, 2014. And that brings us up to the present but hey, how about their past? Well, I had a chance to interview Jimmy during the Burlington Beer Fest and found out what it takes to go from your Muskoka basement to winning Provincial awards. Well, it all started with those crappy extract-based basement beers.

Longslice Director Sebastian Lesch and Vice-President
John Peat pose happily with their Hopsta La Vista at
the Burlington Beer Festival. What could I possibly say
about these two that could be considered remotely
litigious by their legal intern? One of them stole a bike.
Not even a 10-speed. Like a tricycle. That's what I heard.
When will Hopsta La Vista be available? Hopefully (let's
cross some fingers here) September in LCBOs nearby...

Says Jimmy: "You (started with water), added the extract and boiled it. You added more water to top it up, then you added the yeast. When it's done, you put the sugar in the bottles and then you cap it. And sometimes bottles explode; sometimes they don't."

So what did it taste like?
"Oh, it tasted like (effing) crap, that's what it tasted like but it had liquor in it so for us, that was a real draw. We were like 17-18 and like, who cares, man? But when I think back, it wasn't that much worse than the available domestic stuff."

When do you brew your first good beer?
"A few years ago, like three, four years ago. I went to a You-Brew place and it was using the exact same stuff (I was already using), the same extract. I was like I did this at home in high school and I was thinking there's gotta be a better way to do this."

So what spurred you guys on?
"This was the time now when craft beer was picking up pretty hard so I thought what do I do to make this better at home? So I built a mash tun out of a cooler and I learned you just buy barley from everyone, (as well as) hops.

Okay, this shows the boys have some serious comic
book cred, using Star-Lord (aka Chris Pratt) from
hit movie, Guardians of the Galaxy, to promote their
beer on their Facebook page. Next time, it's Groot!

Then you can make IPAs and stouts and all this stuff which I really didn't know about. I mean, I knew they existed, I just didn't know how they (brewed) it. So I started looking at recipes. Say I wanted to make an IPA at home, I'd look at 10 different recipes and check to see the common thread between them all. What do people do? So (at the beginning) sometimes I'd use still the extracts but add the caramel malts. It's like a stepping stone between the (extract beer and real beer). If you get a cheese-cloth and wrap the caramel malts in that, it'll add a lot of depth to the beer..."

The trio became to tinker with different styles using actual ingredients (and not the extracts) before deciding Jimmy's IPA recipe was the one they wanted to initially hang their hats on. And from there... well, you've already read that. (If not, go back to the beginning. There will be a pop-quiz.)

From there, the conversation went on to other company's beers, notably Spearhead Hawaiian Style Pale Ale and Collective Arts Rhyme and Reason Extra Pale Ale. Those two beers are an ongoing argument between me and Beer Bro Glenn with me favoring the former, him the latter. (Actually, I enjoy the pair equally - I just like prolonging the argument because pointless banter can be fun.)

Way back in the days before Longslice was
even a dream, this is the beer that Jimmy
and his bartending buddies used as their
craft yardstick: Muskoka Mad Tom IPA.

Turns out Jimmy had his favourites, as well.
 "I love (the Spearhead), too. I think it's great. Actually, (Muskoka Brewing) Mad Tom (IPA) was my favourite for the longest time. I used to be a bartender and me and my friends in the kitchen used to be big Mad Tom drinkers. (Mad Tom) was like the rock. Either another beer was better or was worse but that was the rock that I judged (other beers by). It was the line in the sand."

But a bit more research on these guys showed the trio have brewed up a pretty big initiative on their own for Ontario craft brewers: the creation of The Ontario Brewers League. In an informative (and very well written) article published on June 25 for the online Ontario Beer Network by Doug Appeldoorn, TOBL was described as "exactly what the craft beer industry in this Province needs... a cooperative organization that works to the benefit of its members." Since, like Spearhead and other small brewers, Longslice does not have its own brewery, contract-brewing out of Cool Brewery, the first tenet was membership wasn't restricted to "bricks and mortar" breweries but rather all Ontario craft breweries, licensees, promotional companies, basically "anyone who generates income from the commercial production of beer in Ontario."

When Beau's All Natural Brewing started
a Coaster War on July 19 at the Burlington
Beer Festival, it was expected that there
would be casualties. Coasters would be lost
in battle and even though it didn't happen,
according to our mothers, someone could
have lost an eye. That said, it was a lot of
fun as Beau's, Samuel Adams, Cool, Goose
Island and Longslice engaged in one of the
most wicked coaster-frisbeeing wars ever.
A lost Longslice coaster got wedged here.

Appeldoorn wrote that TOBL "bringing both new and established breweries together isn't just wide-eyed idealism, it's actually pretty smart and something that can benefit the (craft beer) industry as a whole." Noting that the long-standing, established Ontario Craft Brewers association would continue to do its job, promoting and lobbying on behalf of the province's craft brewers both nationally and internationally, as they have long done, TOBL would work in tandem but on a grass-roots level, trying to create an organization that benefits members directly. The creation of a group health benefits since small groups of, say, three brewers cannot do that but larger groups of many more absolutely can. As well, TOBL will be looking at shared distribution and transportation of beer to LCBOs and Beer Stores, which is now allowed under the recent Beer Reforms created by the Ontario Liberal government. And if the craft brewery industry in North America has taught us nothing else, it's that the industry had more governmental red-tape hurdles that some guy just trying to brew some good beer can fathom. To that end, TOBL is looking for some shared legal advice and the input of those breweries who have somehow already jumped those same hurdles.

Concluded Appeldoorn, "there really is an amazing number of things that can be achieved with (TOBL). Kudos to the (Longslice) guys for starting it up and taking on this task. Overall, if they can keep it a transparent and collaborative organization, it can only mean great things for craft beer in Ontario." Right now, it's pretty hard to disagree with that and also, that's some solid writing, Doug.

So wait... if drinking Longslice's Hopsta La Vista is the
same as listening to The Beatles, is watching The Beatles
drink a beer, say, in the movie, Help!, the same as having
to listen to the Longslice boys sing? Heaven help us all...

But as I like to do, we are finishing off this tribute with some fun. Turns out the Longslice boys put out their own You-Tube commercial just prior to winning that gold at the Ontario Brewing Awards. Now, when announcing their gold medal win on Reddit, Jimmy noted that "we are Longslice Brewery. We posted that ridiculous beer commercial last week." After announcing their big win, he went to say "thanks to Toronto for being such a great city to us!" That commercial opens with Jimmy introducing the brewery and closes with... well, you'll have to see that yourself but watch for the disclaimer on the bottom right at the end of the 51-second commercial. But I noticed at the 12 second mark, John can be seen driving a car, eating a banana and reading some fan mail because distracted driving be damned! (I dunno... maybe - ask that legal intern.) It's only on the screen for two seconds so no way you can read it. Unless you pause it... which I did.

Don't we all? And the boys at Longslice Brewery will
continue to crank that out. After their award-winning
Hopsta La Vista. next on deck for the trio is their John's
Loose Lips Lager based on John's penchant for spilling
state secrets. He can't help it. Too much good craft beer.

Ridiculous, Jimmy? I think not. 
The letter reads: Dear Longslice Brewery, I love your beer soo much. Drinking your beer is like listening to the Beatles. I must know your secret. What makes Hopsta La Vista soo good? Also, are you guys single? You must be the most handsome gentlemen in the world. I spend my evenings fantasizing about waking up beside you. Will you marry me? Yours truly (with little hearts.)

Coming up is more "A closer look at" blogs with South River's Highlander Brewing Co. next and Old Tomorrow after that. I plan on continuing the "A closer look at..." as an ongoing thing, interspersed with the usual weirdness that is the hallmark of this spot. Maybe I'll even tell you about my last date which went pretty much the way they all do. After dinner, she excused herself to go to the washroom. That was in June. (She'll be back.) But that's it for this edition. Here's that link for that silly but fun Longslice You-Tube commercial right: HERE... SO ENJOY! You'll feel like you know the guys! And maybe fantasize about them. But that's on you. Guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain...

When Gary came to town...

The family that drinks together, sinks together. I had a great night on July
25th when my younger brother, Gary, and his British girlfriend, Phe,
came to play at Donny's Bar and Grill. Suffice it to say, beers were drank.

My younger brother, Gary, left Canada in 1985 and has never looked back. He has lived abroad ever since. His first stop was Barcelona, Spain, followed by Bern, Switzerland, then Vietnam and now finally Valencia, Spain.

Now even though Gary graduated Industrial Design at Fanshawe College in London, Ontario at exactly the same time I was graduating Journalism in Toronto, it was a career he never pursued. The reason? By the time he was done with the three-year program, he was also done with Industrial Design. Not his flagon of ale, so to speak. Not to mention being more or less done with North America lifestyle of rat-race work-til-you-die mentality. He prefers the leisurely pace of Europe and has for 30 years. I get that. I think we all do... many days... with Monday being the lead offender.

You like wheats now, do you, bro? Well,
then let's see what I can find. Okay, here's a
little hoppy wheaty one from Mad & Noisy

So what does he do in Europe? He teaches English. But he doesn't have a Teacher's Degree, you may have noticed. Well, here's where things get fun. You know what you need to teach English in Europe? The ability to speak it, write it and talk to a classroom (usually adults) about it. You have to keep at it, build up your rep and know the native language of the class you're teaching (he is multi-lingual at this point) but that's pretty much it. Now I am not looking to give away any of his monkey-shines in this space (the hell I'm not) but there are a large number of people in Spain who now honestly believe a 'preposition' is a small furry animal with a bushy tail that thrives on acorns and peanuts. We call them squirrels, some Spaniards call them prepositions.

But he comes back to Canada every couple of years to catch up with old friends, his family and you know, renew his Health Card and driver's licence if needed, remember what seasons are like (he only has two seasons in Valencia - crazy-hot Summer and much-more-temperate Summer). Basically, just take care of whatever Canuck business that needs to be done. But this time, he came with a companion, his girlfriend Phe, also an English teacher without a teaching degree.

Another winner for our wheat-drinking beer
travelers was Oshawa's Underdog Brewing
All or Nothing Hopfenweisse. That's tasty!

But Phe also brought something to the table - that kind of lilting British accent that makes men weak in the knees. Originally identifying herself as from Manchester, it turns out she actually hails from a tiny town called Oldham, not far from the larger city. It's pretty much what we all do when we're abroad and something asks us from whence we hail. We link ourselves to the nearest big city. If I'm out of the country, I always say I'm from Toronto, not Burlington, simply because Toronto is internationally-known. Just as if you were from, say, Tonawanda, New York, you would say you were from Buffalo. Or if you were from Boise, Idaho, you'd say you were from Miami because, y'know, Boise. So see, like that?

Okay, as much fun as this get-together was, let's shift to the beer-drinking portion of the evening. Because when my brother visits after a two year absence, baby, it's Beer O'Clock at Donny's Bar and Grill. Now Gary has always leaned towards the dark beers since his European sojourn began - Guinness, Newcastle Brown Ale and the like. So when I asked him what his preference was for the evening, he surprised me with his choice. "Actually, since we've been here," he noted, "what we've really enjoyed is the Rickard's White." Okay, Molson's best-selling wheat is quite a style shift from stouts and dark ales but hey, it's a pretty solid brew and wheats are certainly Summer beers.

My Guinness-loving brother surprised me by choosing
Rickard's White as his beer of choice during his stay in
Canada but it was a hot Summer night and the timing
was perfect for some wheat beers! So we dove right in!

Of course, I grabbed the happy couple their Rickard's White - and lots of it - but decided since they were onto the wheat beers, I should add a couple more to the mix. And like I always do against the big guns, oh yeah, I brought in the ringers. So let's get ♫ wheaty with it, nyah, nyah, nyah.. get wheaty with it... ♫ (Apologies to Will Smith who is west Philadelphia, born and raised.)

Okay, when Stevil St Evil was here at the beginning of June, a new tradition kinda got started at Donny's Bar and Grill - that of joint beer reviews. So since they got my king-sized bed and I had to sleep in my son's Spider-Man bed, brother Gary and girlfriend Phe were enlisted in the long-standing, okay, roughly two month old tradition of Brew Ha Ha Joint Beer Reviews. Were they up for the challenge? Well, let's see. While they enjoyed their Rickard's White all night, the first challenger was Mad & Noisy Brewing's Hop Weizen. Now, a disclaimer first: Mad & Noisy is actually Creemore Springs, which, in turn, is owned by Molson's (though Creemore does their own thing.) It's all very incestuous here in Canada.

The Hacker-Pschorr Weisse is about as
pure an example of a German wheat that
you can find. So how did it fare with us?

That said, who gives a rat's butt? If it's good, I don't care who brews it or owns the rights (and if it's a big gun, hey, good on them!) So is the Mad & Noisy Hop Weizen any good? Uh yeah, turns out it's damn good.
Don: "Okay, got nice banana on the nose. And it does have some hop on the tongue, a bit of grapefruit. What they've done is mix a German weissebier with an American pale ale. On the tongue, this is exactly what Gary said when he sampled my (Collective Arts Brewing) Rhyme and Reason Pale Ale. Very grapefruity but this is nicely wheaty, too."

Before we started, I got Gary to smell and taste my Muskoka Brewery Mad Tom IPA. I knew it wouldn't be to his taste but I was curious.
Gary: "This smells like an Amsterdam coffee shop. Marijuana." Well, scientific fact, many hops are botanical cousins to the ganja so fair call. Small wonder I drink so much of this beer.

Next up was a cheat - the Underdogs Brewing (Oshawa) All or Nothing Hopfenweisse, the one that was my Wheat Beer of the Year for 2014. So Phe tasted it.
Phe: "Oh, bubble gum!"
Me: "Is it still there?
Phe: "No, where did it go? (That's always a one-second initial note with this beer.) Okay, a little banana, I think. This is really good, very smooth! This is the best one so far."

Okay, a curve-ball here. I tossed the Erdinger
Weisbier Dunkel into the mix just to give my
brother an idea of what a dark beer and wheat
beer combined tastes like. It was thumbs up!

Okay, time to slap some German wheats on the table since, you know, they invented them like 400 years ago so on deck was the Hacker-Pschorr (Munich) Weisse as German wheats are the gold standard.
Me: Okay, soft very little banana on the nose. Yeah, that's the ticket. This is what wheats are all about.
Gary: *speaking German*
Me: My brother is speaking in tongues, the multi-lingual bastard. Call an exorcist.

At some point, the party shifted upstairs to Amy and Simon's (a.k.a Hathaway's British Pub) where the taste-testing continued. Amy had met Gary once before at my second wedding. That would be the event where he started in his formal jeans for the service and changed (no joke) into his less-formal hole-in-the-knee jeans for the reception. The rest of us just took off our jackets and ties but hey, everything I know about fashion, I learned from Gary. There was no dress code for our beer sampling unless back-alley bum is now a style. Okay, time for the atomic bomb - the Erdinger (Erding, Germany) Weisbier Dunkel, a dark wheat that combines my brother's two favourite styles. This one was a grand-slam home run - hands down, the winner of the evening.

It took a Wells (Bedford) Banana Bread
Beer but Gary finally got banana on the
nose. And then very much banana bread

Phe: This one's nice! What is this one? I'm getting coffee.
Don: Licorice on the nose for me. But I'm getting coffee in the taste.
Amy: Starbuck's dark-roasted coffee. It's the dark roast that makes the point. (I'm not certain we ever heard what that point was but dark-roast coffee is certainly a definitive taste.)

Okay, since Gary was the only one not getting banana off the nose of the many wheat beers, in the back of my fridge was a ringer - Well's (Bedford, England) Banana Bread Beer.
Gary: Banana! I'm first out the gate with banana! But the taste is actual banana bread.
Phe: Definitely banana bread in the after-taste.

Now, before I sign off, Gary brought me a little gift - Appleby College Alumni Directory 1998. I attended the Oakville private school for just Grades 7 and 8 while Gary was there from Grade 6 through to Grade 13. As it was based on the stricter British style of school (we actually played cricket), we were known as Redmond 1 and Redmond 2. Until I left, then Gary was just Redmond. No more numerical sequencing for him.

When my buddy Steve and his wife travelled to England and
Scotland this summer, he spotted this sign in The Albion in
Chester, England. Trust me, guys, it'll be piss soon enough...

Now I'm not sure who compiled this or where they got the data but a couple of factual errors for my entry. They were correct in where I went to school (Queen's University and Humber College) and the newspaper I was working at as Editor when they published this (the defunct Flamborough Post) but when it came to my family, they listed my wife Sylvia and sons David and Michael. Oooooh, so sorry, Alumni Directory, you only got one out of three. David is correct. But the other two? I never married a Sylvia, never dated a Sylvia and am 99.9% sure I've never even met a Sylvia. But I tell you this. That bitch Sylvia took half my stuff in the divorce. You're a jerk, Sylvia. Burn in Hell. And Michael? Daddy's going to the corner store for a pack of smokes. I'll be right back. I love you, imaginary son!

And Gary's entry? He didn't have one. Eight years there - no entry. Like my son Michael, it's as if Gary didn't even exist. I asked him how he felt about that snub. His heart-rending response: "What are we trying next?" Okay, so he's coping... such a brave soldier.

"Someone wake up Uncle Bob. He's asleep in the boat
again..." "No, wait! Lemme try something first. And
the can is on his forehead!" Uncle Bob! Is! Canadian!

Okay, that's a wrap for this edition but I have some good stuff coming up for you. I met Ian Macdonald, the co-founder of Old Tomorrow Brewing out of Toronto at the recent Burlington Beer Festival and chatted at length with him about their Canadian Pale Ale. Ian started with the brewery with his Mom, Pat, an Ontario government employee and brewmaster Jamie Mistry. He also let it slip that the year-old brewery had something new coming down the pipe-line.

As well, John Peat, the vice-president of Longslice Brewing, recalled the days that he, his brother Jimmy (president) and high school pal Sebastian Lesch (The Other Guy) were under-age brewers working out of their garage with beers exploding all around them. From their hilariously humble, mistake-prone beginnings, a damn solid craft brewery was born... from the ashes of exploding beers.

And finally, a chat with Brian Wilson (no, not the Beach Boy one, the other one), brewmaster at South River, Ontario's excellent Highlander Brewing Co. But remember, if you ever see me drinking a Bud Light Lime, it's a signal that I have been kidnapped and need immediate help. Preferably before I have to swallow some. But guys and dolls, that's it, that's all and I am outta here! Until next time, I remain as always...